06x21 - Whatever Happened to Baby Chip?

[bunniefuu]

Where have you been?

Miss Mulgar, our library teacher, says we have to write a
junky report on a clunky book called Captain's Courageous.

How about that?

I just saw the picture last week on TV,
and they got a book out already.

Hey, you could tell me how it comes out,
and I wouldn't have to strain my eyes.

Well, there's this guy, uh, uh,
Spencer Tracy, and this kid, uh,

Freddie, uh, Batalaville.

I haven't read those names so far.

Oh, they're always changing their names.

You know, they fool around with them books.

Play catch?

Nah, I've got to write a junkie report on
a clunky book called Captain's Courageous.

Captain's Courageous?

Man, you struck it rich.

Rich?

I got a book report all written up from when I was a kid.

I'm convinced.

And I got an A.

Then I should get an A, if there's any justice.

Sure.

Let's celebrate your good grades and play catch.

Yeah.

Room 318, please.

Hey, Bert, I got the job.

At the sorority house, Kappa Kappa Theta.

Cinch the deal.

Yeah, that's Jane's sorority.

I get paid for goofing around with Jane.

How about that?

Hey, I hear Dad's car outside.

I'll get his, okay, and then I'll call you right back.

Okay.

Oh, hi, Rob.

Hi, Dad.

You're just in time for a man-to-man family conference.

A critical, but not serious.

The senior resident advisor at the dorm
has to know right away.

Rob, before we get into this, could I put down my hat?

Well, sure.

Now, the senior resident advisor at the
dorm wants to know what right away?

Whether I can move into the dorm with Bert Parker.

Now, Bert's roommate had to leave school,
and there's an opening for one student at

the dorm, and, uh, well, Bert's a friend of mine.

But I've got to let him know tonight, Dad.

Because there are a lot of other guys waiting.

Oh, uh, hi, Charley.

Rob was just telling me that he wants to
live over at school.

Yeah, it's awfully important to me.

Well, doesn't it seem a little silly, Rob?

I mean, all the added expense.

After all, it only takes you five minutes
to go from here to the campus.

Yeah, we're so close, every time a college
kid sneezes, I yell, kazoom-type.

Well, Dad, uh, do you remember when we
talked about how great it would be for me

to go to college and how it would be an
experience I'd remember for the rest of my life?

Well, yes, but I... Well, after a
month of going to college and living

here at home, it's like going to
high school, only with older kids.

But, Rob, we just got through fixing up
Mike's room for you.

But, Dad, there may be a lot of great things to
do at college, but I'm never on campus to find out.

I hardly even get to see Jane.

Jane?

Yeah, she's here from Cleveland.

She lives at the Kappa Kappa Theta house.

I see.

And she likes me to help her with my notes.

We talk for a little while after poli-sci
class, but then we each go our separate ways.

She to college life, me straight home.

Rob, you don't want to do this because of a girl.

Well, Dad, Jane is something else,
but there's a lot more to it.

The on-campus guys have all the fun.

They get together and bone up,
and they have intellectual discussions,

stuff like that.

There are dances and movies at the dorm.

It's kind of like a club, a club that I don't belong to.

Rob, how much will it cost to live at the dorm?

Well, the dorm charges $95 a month, room and board.

Well, that's what I mean, Rob.

That's pretty expensive, isn't it?

I mean, when you just live a couple of blocks away.

Yeah, I know, Dad, but it'd be worth it.

It won't cost you a cent.

I'll pay for everything.

I already landed a job as a has her.

They give me free meals.

Free meals and $10 a month.

I have a second job as a lab helper in the
chemistry department.

That's another $50.

Will you have time to study?

Oh, sure, Dad.

I've got it all figured out in my schedule.

It'll be a ball.

Well, Rob, of course I understand how
important it is to go away to school, but.

...

Oh, thanks, Dad.

You know what?

You always understand my problems.

I didn't realize I gave him a definite answer.

Hey, this is great.

Yeah.

Now, oh, here, wait, I'll close the door behind you.

All right.

Now, this is, uh, this is my bed here.

Can you get, let me, I gotta put my foot,
there, there you go.

Ah, now, uh, this is my bed?

No, uh, yeah, this is, wait a minute.

Now, this is, this is your bed.

This is, this is my bed.

And, uh, that's your closet over there,
uh, Robbie, your closet, and your dresser.

My foot's caught.

Oh, just a minute.

Your dresser?

That's your desk right there.

Wait a minute.

Okay, just move your foot.

This is really the last of a college man.

Yeah.

You know something, Charlie?

I guess it's silly, but the house seems kind of empty.

I'll throw some sweaters on the floor,
clean out the icebox, and play a couple of

noisy records, and we won't know he's gone.

Bert, are you going to be staying up for a while?

Yeah.

Great classes tomorrow.

Do you mind if I turn the radio down?

Turn the radio down?

Robbie, I can't study without it.

I can hardly hear it as it is.

You'll get used to it.

Okay.

Robbie!

What?

I'm going to turn off this alarm clock.

Oh, here.

Here.

Hey, Robbie.

What?

Oh, 5.30.

Why'd you set it so early?

Oh, I've got to test it, ain't I?

I've got to cram for it for an hour.

Oh, great.

I don't have a class until 11,
and I was up to 3 this morning.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'll be beat all day now.

Good morning, Uncle Charlie.

Good morning.

Is it okay if I call Robbie and ask him
where he left his baseball club?

He probably took it with him.

He took everything else.

But don't phone him.

Remember, he's away at school.

Oh, careful, Charlie.

I won't phone him.

Why don't you write him a letter?

Because by the time he gets it and writes
me the answer, the game will be over.

So play barehanded.

We got to go along with Robbie in this thing.

He's having the time of his life.

Oh, you need some water.

Okay.

We can't have this mixing up of fraternities.

We have always been affiliated with a...

Hi, Jane.

Hi.

Hey, I'll save you a great big piece of pie, okay?

Oh, Robbie, you're so thoughtful.

Hey, will my poli-sign notes any help?

Oh, a big help.

But you've got to do something about your handwriting.

Oh, I'll try to write a little bit better next time.

Hey, Jane, what do you think about a date tonight?

I'd love it, Robbie, but by the time you
get through here, it'll be too late.

Oh, yeah, it will.

That's the breaks.

Hey, how come you're eating now?

Why do you know?

Who never cares?

Well, wait on!

We.

Wait and eat when we all sit down later.

Because we don't.

Here, this is yours.

Eat fast.

Lady, you'll be so busy washing the dishes
and washing the pots and pans and cleaning

the floor, you gotta grab something on the
run or you'll starve to death.

Oh.

Hey.

Uncle Charley, hi.

I was taking a walk and all of a sudden I
looked up and there I was on the campus.

Oh, accidental, of course.

Oh, sure.

I left some chicken soup on the desk in your room.

Oh, do you always go for a walk with chicken soup?

Well, it happened to be in my hand when I walked out.

I wanted to see how you were getting along.

How are you getting along?

Just great.

Just great to swab next?

You got to go to college for that?

Well, I take it in my stride.

I better get back to work.

I've got to get to some pots and pans.

Come on, come on, hold it.

That's no way to swab a deck.

You're going to use big strokes.

Oh, yeah.

There.

Uh-huh.

Publish more decks.

Oh!

Oh, yeah.

I'm awfully sorry.

I'm sorry, too, but you ought to watch it.

You're tracking up my deck.

Uncle Charley, that was Mrs. Harper, the house mother.

Oh.

Passed by Baker.

Baker Hall.

I didn't remember that we were having a feud with them.

Well, they drop water bags on us,
and we drop water bags on them.

That's life on a big campus.

Yeah.

As soon as I dry off, do you want to go down to the
cafeteria and have a cup of coffee and a sandwich with me?

Well, I got so busy hashing that I never
did have time to eat.

No, thanks.

I had some chicken soup.

Chicken soup?

Yeah, somebody left it on the table.

Oh, it was real good, too.

Uncle Charley will be glad to hear it.

Oh, was that for you, Robbie?

I'm sorry.

It's okay, forget it.

Hey, is all the food at your house that good?

Yeah, it's great.

Uncle Charley's just a great cook.

Do you have a room of your own there?

Yeah, sure.

All to myself.

Boy, it's twice his size.

It's a beauty.

Gosh, you must have a pretty big house.

Yeah.

Well, it's what you call real comfortable, you know?

Nice and warm and kind of friendly and, well, home-like.

Yeah, just like here.

Well, I guess I'll study for a while, then I'll go on over
to the lab and clean up those acid pans for tomorrow.

Then I'll come back and I'll finish up my English lits.

You know, it'd be time for everything if I
just didn't have to sleep.

Hey, Chip, hi.

How are you?

Hey, man.

Yeah, all right.

Hey, hi, Ernie.

How are you?

Good to see you.

We were taking a walk and all of a sudden
we looked up and... We were on the campus.

Hey, this is my roommate, Bert.

Bert, these are my brothers.

How you doing?

Pleasure, boy.

This is our dog, tr*mp.

Hi, tr*mp.

How are you?

Hey, this is pretty neat.

Small, but neat.

Do you sleep standing up, Rob?

Well, I sleep in this bed, and this is Bert's here.

Hey, you guys, I'll get out of here and
give you a little room.

Pleasure meeting you guys.

Nice meeting you.

Bye, boy.

Well, how you guys been, anyhow?

Okay.

Good.

We miss your baseball glove.

Oh, I put it up in a box up in the attic,
you know, with some other junk.

I don't think I want to go away to school.

Hey, Ernie, we'd better get going home,
or Uncle Charlie will yell at us.

So long, Rob.

Bye, Rob.

Oh, wait, here.

Here, give this to Uncle Charley.

It belongs to him.

And tell him that the chicken soup was, uh, well, great.

Okay.

We told Dad we saw you, and you're looking okay.

Yeah, and tell him that I'm really living
it up here in college.

Come on, baby.

Come on, boy.

Bye, tr*mp.

So long, tr*mp.

Go watch it.

Bye, Ernie.

Bye.

Rob.

Honey, is it time for school already?

Oh, hi, Dad.

I must have dozed off.

Yeah, one of the fellas told me I'd find
you up here in the lab.

I was out taking a stroll after dinner, and I looked up
and found myself on campus, so I thought I'd say hello.

So did Uncle Charley.

Oh, he was here, too?

Chip, Ernie, and tr*mp also.

Well, we're all thinking about you,
wondering how you're doing.

You look a little tired.

Well, I guess I have been burning the candle at both ends.

You know, really living it up.

How's the hashing job going at the sorority house?

Oh, just great, Dad.

Art and me serving 30 gorgeous girls, including Jane.

Imagine getting paid.

Sounds fine.

Oh, it's just terrific, Dad.

Well, after I'm finished here,
I go back to the dorms and study for a

while and then have a bull session with some great guys.

Well, you know, Dad, you went away to school, too.

Sure.

Well, I just wanted to say hello.

Well, say, uh... If you manage to find some
time, maybe between semesters or during spring

vacation, drop over to the house, pay us a visit, huh?

Charley will give you home-cooked dinner,
and we'd all like to see you.

Well, take it easy.

I guess you can't very well take it easy,
but don't work too hard, huh?

Good night, bud.

Night, Dad.

Say goodbye to the game for me.

Yeah, yeah, I will.

I'll see you around, bye.

I just got in a couple of minutes ago.

You woke up, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, Rob?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Oh, sure, I understand.

Yeah, I'll explain it to them.

Oh, their feelings won't be hurt.

Don't worry about it.

Okay, Rob.

Good night.

Uh, Charlie, Ernie, Chip.

Yeah?

Come here a minute, will ya?

Hey, guys, that, uh, that was Robbie on
the phone, and, uh, well, we all have been

dropping in on him pretty often with our
school, and, uh, he says it's kind of embarrassing.

And besides, he says it spoils the whole idea.

So, uh, well, you can understand how he feels, huh?

Yeah, I must have embarrassed him when I
clobbered the house, mother.

I just thought she was a student that was left back a lot.

Well, from now on, let's just figure that he's
going to some college a thousand miles away.

I wonder when he's going to write home for money.

No, you understand what I mean.

Okay, Dad.

Tony.

Ernie.

Yeah, Dad?

What do you mean, darling?

Well, I was going to go back to see Robbie
so as he could help me with my book report.

That Captain Courageous stuff?

I thought you did it a couple of days ago.

I gotta do another one.

Miss Mulga remembered it.

Miss Mulga remembered it?

From when Chip wrote it when he was a kid.

You mean you copied an old book report of Chip's?

Yeah.

Ernie, you know I expect you to do your own work.

I did.

I copied every word by myself.

Nobody helped me.

That isn't what I mean.

Ernie, when you try to pass someone else's
work off as your own, that's cheating, isn't it?

I guess so.

In the first place, it's dishonest, and in
the second place, you don't learn anything.

Okay, Dad, I won't do it anymore.

The teacher didn't believe it anyway.

Didn't believe what?

I told her it was a coincidence that my
book report was the same as Chip's.

I told her it must have been because we
have the same father.

You were dead, huh?

Yeah.

And that was a fib, wasn't it?

I guess so.

Well, I hope you've learned your lesson.

I sure did.

I won't try to fool clunky Ole Miss Mulgur anymore.

Hello, Robbie.

Oh, hi, Jane.

Robbie Douglas, Mr. Miller.

Douglas.

How do you do, Mr. Miller?

He's my guest, and we're in a hurry,
so please bring dinner right away.

Sorry to make you chop-chop, old boy, but we have plans.

All right.

More.

Plates, Mrs. Brand.

Okay.

Gene's got a guest.

Yeah?

Who?

Uh, Mr. Miller.

Mr. Miller?

He was the instructor in my poli-sci class.

Real bright guy.

Ph.D.

Oh, no fooling.

You know something?

You know something?

He looks like a Ph.D.

How Jane was your girl?

She was, until she got a D in poli-sci using my notes.

And a romance.

She'll do better now.

I'll get her, Steve.

Hello.

I'm Burt Parker, Robbie's roommate.

Well, how about that?

Come in.

I'm his uncle, Charlie.

How do you do?

And this is his father, Mr. Douglas.

How do you do?

Hello, Burt.

Yes, it's just the way he described it.

I actually recognize the house from outside.

Is something wrong at school?

No.

I thought, well, I guess it's a long shot, but
Robbie said that he moved into my soul room.

And since Robbie's living in the dorms,
that my soul room is practically vacant.

Well, that's right.

I thought maybe you'd be willing to rent it.

Rent it, Bert?

To whom?

Well, to me.

Well, I thought maybe you could see your
way clear to let me move in.

Well, Bert, it's nice of you to want to
move in here with us, but I really think

we ought to keep Robbie's room available to him, just in
case he should want to come home for a weekend or something.

Yeah.

Well, I just thought I'd try.

I'm sorry, Bert.

Well, you know, Robbie should really move back home anyway.

And give up all that college life?

Man, is he homesick.

Five minutes away and he's homesick?

I thought he was too busy to get homesick.

Well, bye, Mr. Douglas.

Goodbye.

Bye, Uncle Charley.

Goodbye.

Oh, and thanks for the chicken soup.

You're welcome.

And drop in for dinner anytime.

And bring your friend, Robbie.

Okay, bye.

Goodbye, Bill.

Well, get on the phone and tell the kid to
come home where he belongs.

Charley can't very well do that, Charley.

He's not a kid anymore.

He's a college man.

Hello?

Yeah?

Yeah, he's here.

Steve?

Long distance, Washington.

Thank you.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Hendricks.

Yes, I'm clear at the moment.

I will be until the 14th.

How long will you need me?

Uh-huh.

Well, that ought to work out fine, then.

All right, I'll leave on the 9 O'clock plan in the morning.

And you'll meet me at the airport.

Right, I'll see you.

Goodbye, Mr. Hendricks.

Oh.

Well, I have to fly out to Washington
first thing in the morning.

When you get there, ask some of those big
brains how to get Robbie home.

I don't think they can help us with this, Charlie.

Why not?

Is it easier to get a man to the moon than
a kid home from the dawn?

You know, maybe if we both had to go
someplace, we could tell Robbie we need

him here at home to take care of Ernie and Chip.

What if I just get sick and we send for Robbie?

It'll be like he's making a big sacrifice for us.

Or maybe we could...

Hey, hey, hey, Robbie!

What'd you do?

Get down.

Kicked out of school or something?

No, I'm just moving back home.

You been away or something?

You been planning on staying here with us for a while now?

Yeah, I thought I'd move home where the
peanut butter is handy.

That's good, because we missed you, to some extent.

But thanks a lot.

Hey, you guys want to help me upstairs with this stuff?

Yeah, sure, boy.

Boy, you know, the guy who said there's no place
like home really knew what he was talking about.

Now that you're home, dinner in five
minutes, and wash your hands.

Good thing you didn't rent that room.

Yeah.

I got it.

Hi, is Robbie home?

Well, yes, yes, he is.

He just went upstairs.

Rob!

Why, you guys, hey, this is my dad and my Uncle Charley.

Come on in.

Hello.

Charley, how do they find out these things?

You got me.

I guess there's only one answer.

They've got radar.

Nice, isn't it?

Nervous.

But, uh, nice.

Nervous.