06x24 - Kid Brother Blues

[bunniefuu]

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Charley.

Hey, you look great.

Thank you.

This is the dress I got to wear to the dinner dance.

You forgot.

Mmm, elegant.

Dinner's ready if you are.

Oh, you know I am.

Boy, how are we living?

Well, I wanted it to be extra special.

You were so sweet to give up the Chi Sigma
dinner dance just because I had to babysit tonight.

Oh, Hank, I didn't care that much about the dance.

I, uh, I just wanted to be with you.

This is much nicer.

Mother and Dad had been counting on me,
and I couldn't disappoint them.

Are they already left?

Mm-hmm.

The banquet started at 7.30, and the kids are all
fed and either doing their homework or watching TV.

Or both.

I, uh... I really admire a girl who's organized.

Please sit down, and I'll bring our appetizers.

Okay.

Don't get up.

Hey, shrimp c*ck.

I hope you like them.

Oh, they're my favorite.

Mine too.

You know, we have a lot in common.

This is really the first time it's been just you and me.

What I mean is, well, we're always going
to parties and games and, well, you know.

I'm glad it's just the two of us tonight.

Excuse me.

Tim!

Tim Wilson!

Now, I told you not to touch that remote control button.

You had no right to change that record.

Well, don't get so shook up.

I just wanted Chip to hear the new record.

That's no excuse.

Hi.

Chip.

Well, what are you doing here?

Tim and me are studying together.

Well, I didn't know our kid brothers were friends.

Well, neither did I.

When you said your sis was fixing a fancy
meal to impress a big wheel from the

campus, I never thought it'd be my goofy brother.

Now, Chip, you can go back to your studying now.

Hey, shrimp c*ck.

Yeah, and all she gave us was hot dogs and beans.

Tim, you promised me.

Can I have just one bite?

Knock it off, Chip.

Well, if you can have shrimp, we can have shrimp.

Well, then have it in the kitchen.

Yeah, yeah, have it in the kitchen.

Thank you.

Chip, uh, go home.

He can't.

We're doing a science experiment together.

We'll do it at our house.

Tim's mom told me how to stand tonight.

Tim, will you please go somewhere else?

Why?

Because you're spoiling everything.

Oh, come on, Tim.

Who wants to watch that?

Kid brothers.

I've seen Chip here a lot, but I didn't
realize he was your brother.

Hey, this looks great.

I hope you'll like it.

I'm sure I'd like anything you fix.

You know, the first time we met, I noticed
how thoughtful and considerate you were.

Excuse me.

Okay, you guys, out.

Come on, Robbie.

Come on out.

Chip, we'll get our experiment.

Beat it.

Don't let him bother you, Charlene.

Any other time, Tim wouldn't have left his
room all evening.

Just ignore him.

Mmm, this looks great, Tim.

Oh, well, I do hope you like it.

Oh, I'm sure I'd like anything you fix, Tim.

Knock it off, you guys.

What have you got there?

It's our science experiment.

We're growing fungus.

Fungus?

Yes.

See?

Oh, take it away.

Get out of here.

Chip, get out of here with those funguses.

Fungi.

Well, whatever they are, out.

Well.

It's ruined.

Our lovely dinner is absolutely ruined.

Charlene, the test of a love like ours is
to survive a night like this.

Now, uh, come on, let's eat.

Fungi.

Hi, Steve.

Well, am I the last one in?

Robbie and Chip are still out.

Oh, a little late for Chipper, huh?

He's studying with one of the kids in this class.

Oh, Black 10.

How'd your panel discussion go?

Oh, it went pretty well, I guess.

Of course, I had to be one of those fellas that
wouldn't let you finish anything you started to say.

You know, I had to jump right in there and
try to make every idea look like it was his.

The red nine.

Thanks.

You know, I think what Mr. Douglas means
is, uh, et cetera, et cetera.

You know, it's pretty annoying.

When a fella starts something,
he likes to finish it himself.

Black queen.

When a fella starts something,
he likes to finish it himself.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Dad?

Hi, Rob.

Dad, you have to do something about Chip.

Oh, well, what do you have in mind?

He spoiled our whole evening.

I didn't know you two were together tonight.

You weren't.

Then how'd he spoil your evening?

By remote control?

I had this date with Charlene Wilson, uh, Black 5.

Her kid brother is a friend of Chip's.

You put them together and you got a disaster area.

Hi.

Hi, Chipper.

Boy, you wouldn't believe what this kid did.

You want to see some neat sacrifice?

Ugh, you made my day.

Chip, Robbie tells me that you spoiled his date.

Well, what'd I do?

Black, too.

You know what you did.

Hanging around, giggling, embarrassing me,
making Charlene cry.

Tim says she cries a lot.

Well, I'm not surprised with him around.

Now, why did Charlene cry tonight?

Search me, Dad.

We just brought in our fun tie.

Mr. Pendleton will probably give us a name
when he gets a load of this crazy symbiosis.

See?

Oh, yes.

Very nice, Chip.

Dad, this kid has to start showing a
little consideration for other people.

Consideration?

What am I supposed to do?

Stay away from Tim's house just because
you're dating his clunky sister?

It seems to me, fellas, this calls for a
little consideration on both sides.

Okay, Dad, you won't have to worry about Robbie.

When we first met, I noticed what a
thoughtful, considerate person you were.

You see?

Yeah, what's so terrible about me being
around Robbie when he's with a girl?

Well, Chip, one of these days you'll understand.

Black for Uncle Charley.

Hey, where are you going with that fungus?

Fungi.

I'm going to put them in the refrigerator.

Oh, no, you're not.

But I've got to keep them from germinating.

Try reasoning with them, Chip.

Robbie was pretty bad, wasn't he?

Like any kid brother, when he finds out,
he's got a kid brother.

Hey, Charlie, you did it.

You beat Solitaire.

Congratulations.

Best four-handed game I ever played.

What you doing?

I was going to play some Solitaire.

Black Queen.

Did you want something?

Uh-uh.

What you waiting for?

Why don't you see what Chip's doing?

Ah, he's getting ready to go see clunky
old Shelly Parkhurst.

How about television?

There's nothing I want to see for an hour
or so, so I'll just watch you.

Thank you.

Mr. Charley, I won't be home for dinner.

I'm invited to stay at the Parkhurst.

Okay.

Hey, Jack, ten?

Seven-six.

I'll bet he has veal birds.

Veal birds?

Yeah.

Every time I eat over at the Parkhurst,
we always had Veal birds.

There's another deck of cards on the dresser.

I'd rather just watch you.

Hey, have you guys seen Chip?

Yeah, he just left.

Well, don't tell me he went over to the Wilsons.

Uh-uh.

He's got a date with Shelly Parkers.

They play croquet in their backyard.

J.J.

Parker says it's really sickening.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Hey!

Don't bother Uncle Charley.

There's nothing else to do.

Well, I've got an idea for you.

Oh, Uncle Charley, uh... Don't tell me.

No, it's just that you forgot the, uh...
I'll see the play myself sooner or later.

But you forgot to take the joker out of the deck.

Chip, you play so well.

You're pretty good yourself.

Oh, I do all right sometimes.

But whenever I'm in a game with you, I get so nervous.

You shouldn't feel that way, shall we?

I can't help it.

And it's not a bad feeling.

In fact, I like it.

Your turn.

Why don't you hold your mallet right?

You see, you should grip it like this.

I'm so dumb.

Let me show you.

What was that?

I don't hear anything.

See, you should hold your fingers like that.

Somebody's in those bushes.

All right, you guys, come on out of there.

Ernie!

Lieutenant Colonel Parkers, Major Douglas
of the Space Patrol.

I'm going to tell Mother you were spying on me, J.J.

Okay.

Sure we're spying on you.

That's our job.

We have reason to believe that you're
agents of the Martian conspiracies.

What are you fooling around over here for, Ernie?

He's got just as much right to fool around
over here as you have.

More.

J.J.

And I have been friends since way before kindergarten.

Why don't you guys go play somewhere else?

Can't.

If we leave our spaceship, we'll disintegrate.

Then find another spaceship.

Play another game.

You can't stay here.

This is as much my backyard as it is yours.

Why don't you guys go over our house and
play in our backyard?

Why don't you?

Go ahead and play croquet.

Sure, you won't bother us.

What if we make you nervous, like you do Shelly?

Ernie, I'm willing.

Chip, let's just act as if they're not even around.

Let's stick around.

When Peter and Calispie come...
came to play croquet with Shelly,

he gave me two of his best model airplanes just to go away.

You're kidding?

It's the one good thing about having a sister.

I think you'd better give her another lesson.

Yeah, sure.

Hold her hands again, Chip.

Go ahead, David.

Let's go.

Hit her!

Hit her!

Knock her into the next block!

Chip wouldn't do that.

Not to a girl.

What's the use?

Why don't you two play?

It's more fun to watch.

Would you like to go in and listen to records or something?

Might as well.

One good thing, though.

Ernie'll have to go home and eat dinner in a little while.

No, I won't.

I've been invited to stay here for dinner.

And I was right.

We're going to have veal birds.

Boy,

you were sure funny this afternoon.

A couple of dumb kids.

What's dumb about me and J.J.

sitting there laughing at you and Shelly?

It wasn't funny.

If it wasn't funny, how come we were laughing?

Because you're dumb.

You and Shelly getting madder and madder.

That's got to be funny.

It was pitiful.

Chip, when a fat man slips on a banana peel and
falls down, he doesn't think it's funny, but it's funny.

Yeah?

Well, what if he breaks something?

Well, you can't tell that till after the x-rays.

Meanwhile, it looks funny to the other
people, like you look funny to me and J.J.

What I should have done was knock you into J.J.

like you were a couple of croquet ba*ls.

Now, that would have been funny.

Only Shelly says the sight of blood makes her sick.

She's right.

Blood isn't funny.

But banana peels and teenagers in love are funny.

Funny, funny.

Go ahead and laugh yourself to sleep.

I'm cutting out.

Well, hello, Chip.

What are you doing?

Capping out?

I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Any special reason?

Because I don't want to be in the same
room with that clunky Ernie.

Not bad, huh?

Bad?

Do you want to know what he did?

Do you really want to know?

Well, yeah.

I think I can take it.

Well, I had a date with Shelly Parkers this afternoon.

And Ernie and her brother, J.J., spoiled everything.

Chip, haven't I heard that same story
before, just recently?

You mean me, Tim Wilson, and Robbie?

Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, that was it.

Yeah, but that was a lot different.

At least it seems different to you.

You know, Chip, don't you think Robbie
might just have had a point there?

I guess so.

Well, hi, Ernie.

Hi, Dad.

What, Chip?

I didn't know you'd get so sore.

Well, Ernie, there are times when we want
the people who know us best to be close by.

But on the other hand, there are times
when... I never mind when Chip's around.

Your day will come.

Yeah, but Ernie hasn't got a kid brother.

Well, there'll be someone to fill in for him.

Now, come on, you guys, get up to bed, huh?

Thank you.

Go on, get a glass of milk.

I'll carry it, fella.

I only went over to the Parker's because
Robbie said it'd be a good jump.

Robbie sent you over there?

Yeah, he even dropped me off on his way to Charlene's.

And he told you to do all that dumb stuff you did?

No, all he said was act like a kid brother, and so I did.

Did, huh?

Well, how would you like to act like one again?

Gee, I don't know.

Well, just one more time, our farewell appearance.

Okay.

Good.

Well, how'd you like it?

Sickening.

I know that, but otherwise, what did you think of it?

Well, sickening is much better
than... than most teenage songs.

I wrote it myself.

I've got a plan for Charlene this afternoon.

She'll flip.

Oh, and the kid brothers ought to like it too.

Oh, no, not this time.

I worked out a little strategy.

I figured that a college kid should be
able to outwit a regular kid.

Yeah, well, a man my age ought to be able
to outwit three kids.

Good luck.

That's it.

Got everything to do.

Do you.

Really think we gave him the slip?

Well, sure.

While they wait for us at your house, we'll
have a nice, peaceful, quiet afternoon right here.

Come on.

Boy,

will those two wise guys be surprised.

All week, Tim's been trying to find out
when I'm going to see you and where.

Well, you know, they worked up some little scheme to get
even with me because I gave Chip a taste of his own medicine.

Hey, would you like something cold to drink?

No, thanks.

First, I want to hear you play something.

Okay.

Something romantic.

Maybe kind of sad.

Hey, look who's here.

She said she's going to see Robbie at our house.

That's why we came here.

Why?

We didn't want to embarrass you.

Or humiliate you.

Just being considerate, you know.

Yeah, I know.

You going to play the guitar?

I was.

Hey, why don't we all sing?

Chip.

We've got a quartet, sort of.

Tim has a real good voice.

He used to be boy soprano in our choir.

You know, well, that was last year.

Now all I do is turn the pages for the organist.

How about Suwannee River?

Way down upon the Suwannee River, far, far away.

I hope you're not leaving just because we're here.

Yeah, we were just trying to be considerate.

Come on, we'll go to your house.

Don't sit on our sleeves.

Ernie.

We got 17.

What, another brother?

Yes.

We going back to our house?

Yeah.

I mean, no.

We're not.

Come on, Chief.

I mean, yes, we are.

Okay, you guys.

I surrender unconditionally.

What are your terms?

No more tricks like you pull with Ernie and J.J.

Parker.

No more tricks.

And stop acting like it's our fault we're
younger than you are.

I'll try.

And before you start yelling at us and getting all
sore, remember you were our kid brother once, too.

Okay.

Yeah.

You guys win.

I do, love.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Oh, no, of course I don't mind.

It sounds like a terrific evening.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Oh, boy, this is my lucky day.

First, I get this date with this
too much girl, but I'm a little

bit worried at the moment because I'm financially reversed.

So now she just calls and says,
relax, the evening won't cost me a cent,

compliments of a rant.

Where do you meet girls like that?

That's my secret.

And this is one time, little brothers, I don't
have to worry about you getting into the act.

Norma Sue is an only child.

You gonna play solitaire, Uncle Charlie?

Yeah.

Well, I'm off.

I'll be home a little late tonight, Charlie.

We're having supper after the show.

I hear it's a very good musical.

Yeah, it must be.

It's almost impossible to get tickets.

Helen was given some because she did some
publicity for the show.

Wish we could all go with you, Dad.

Oh, that would be nice.

See you all in the morning.

Bye, Dad.

Bye.

Have a good time.

Enjoy yourself.

Hey, Uncle Charlie, you can't do that.

Oh, yes, I can.

But it's against the rules.

Oh, no, it isn't.

Is this a different kind of solitaire?

That's right.

I made it up myself.

And nobody, nobody knows how to play it except yours truly.

Hi, Helen.

Hi, Steve.

Come in.

Thank you.

Hey, you look great.

Thank you.

I had to look my best for a gala occasion like this.

You all set to go?

Oh, Steve, they gave me four tickets and it seems such a
shame to waste the other two, so I offered them to my niece.

Oh, your niece, huh?

I hope you don't mind.

Oh, no, no, of course not.

They'll be here any minute.

Come in, Norma.

My niece, Norma Sue Logan.

Hello, Norma Sue.

And her escort.

Dad!

Oh, that's my son.

Well, I mean, I'm his father.

Well, we're related.