07x20 - The Good Earth

[bunniefuu]

Hi, Uncle Charley.

Hi, Ernie.

How'd it go at school?

Okay.

I finished my project and shot.

Here, it's for you.

A potholder.

But I thought you were working on a breadboard.

You already have a breadboard.

So I traded Amy Jenkins for this potholder
she made in Sullen.

Her mother's loaded with potholders.

Me, I'm down to my last potholder.

I wanted to give you something you could use.

Something that every time you didn't burn your
fingers, you'd remember it was from your friend Ernie.

Sure.

I'll remember it was a token of your high regards.

Yours and Amy Jenkins.

All right.

All right.

Hey, let's do an apple pie.

You should have been born a bloodhound.

Oh, hey, your shirts are finished.

Hey, my good shirt that had the tear worker
caught on the fence in the mustard spot.

What a neat job.

Uncle Charles?

I can mend stuff better than any other mother on the block.

Come on, you guys, get out of here.

I don't want you to see a grown man cry.

Just as soon as they make me a sandwich.

Oh, you stub all the peanut butter.

I'll give you half of mine.

Oh, thanks, hon.

I'll see you later, Uncle Charlie.

See you, Uncle Charlie.

And don't get peanut butter on those sweaters.

Oh, hi, Charlie.

Hey, Steve, what are you doing home so early?

Oh, I've got a dinner date.

I came home to change clothes.

Boy, something smells good.

What, Roach?

I knew it.

My favorite dish, and I'm going to have to miss it.

Oh, uh, here, I brought your paper.

Oh, Steve, you brought me the Bryant Park shopper again.

I wish you wouldn't drive six blocks out of your
way just to pick up my favorite shopping news.

Oh, it's no trouble, Charlie.

Besides, you keep saying the editor of the
Tribune's a knucklehead.

Yeah, but the way you guys are treating me
around here, I'm liable to get spoiled.

Ernie made a breadboard, and he traded it to
Amy Jenkins for this beautiful potholder, just for me.

You keep saying nobody around here
appreciates you, Charley.

Even Amy Jenkins appreciates you.

Want to make your family happy?

Give them the greatest gift of all, a lot in Whispering
Pines, the vacation paradise, $75 down, $10 a month.

Whispering Pines Development Company.

Vacation paradise.

Mr. O'Casey.

How do you do?

I read your ad in the shopper.

It sounds pretty good.

Oh, yes.

Hey, that's nice music.

Yes.

Well, won't you sit down, Mr. O'Casey?

Well, thank you.

Yes, we feel that music brings one the proper
and restful, serene atmosphere of whispering pines.

I want the best spot in the whole development.

All right, you guys, come on.

Okay, Charlie.

Hey, what's the new decoration, Charlie?

We can eat pine cones?

No.

Steve, pull the ribbon.

Oh, okay.

Hey, what's this?

Whispering pines.

What's whispering pines?

Just what it says.

Oh, yeah, but what does it mean?

Whispering pines is the newest, classiest,
most elegant, and outstanding fun spot in the state.

Well, looks like a great place.

Beautiful woods, huh?

I bought a lot.

You bought a lot?

Yeah, so we got a place to go on weekends.

Uncle Charley, you're too much.

You didn't have to do anything like this.

I'm glad he did.

I always wanted to spend a weekend in an elegant, fun spot.

I had a few bucks that weren't busy,
so it's a good investment.

Well, that's great.

I'll tell you.

Why don't we drive up to Whispering Pines
this weekend and take a look at Charley's lot?

Yeah.

Oh, not Charley's lot.

Our family lot.

Well, here we are, Charley.

Whispering Pines.

I don't see any pines.

Oh, well, we'll probably get into the farther up.

Can we stay here all summer, Dad?

Well, that's up to Charley.

Well, we'll get our cabin fixed up so we won't
be ashamed in front of our high-class neighbors.

The place will be open to you.

All year round.

Skating in winter and swimming in summer.

I didn't realize living in a family had so
many fringe benefits.

Well, let's drive out, Charlie, find a lot, huh?

Suppose we stop at the clubhouse and have
lunch and get directions.

Good idea.

I'm hungry.

Charley, I don't know.

Hey, Dad, there's a tent over there.

Hey, Robbie, see if there's some Jasper in
that tent and ask him to wait at the clubhouse.

Okay.

I understood the clubhouse is between the


Hello?

Anybody in there?

Hi.

Hi.

What do you want?

We were looking for Whispering Pines.

What?

You read the sign, didn't you?

Yes.

You see, my uncle owns one of the lots
here, and, uh, well, we'd like to have

lunch at the clubhouse before looking over his property.

I could offer you half my Bologna sandwich.

Thanks, but, uh, well, which way is the clubhouse?

You're looking at it.

Excuse me.

Dad, Uncle Charley, all you guys, I think
you better come over here for a second.

Uh, this tent is the clubhouse.

Come on, cut out the kidding.

I saw a picture of the clubhouse.

It was gorgeous.

Oh, mister, what you saw was what we call
a fac-see-mile of the clubhouse.

What it's gonna look like when they build it.

The clubhouse is between a... The golf
course and the Olympic swimming pool.

You just point out where they are,
and we'll find the clubhouse.

All righty.

Uh, the golf course, that-a-way.

La, la.

Swimming pool, right over there.

Ah.

Oh, no.

I brought my swimming trunks.

I even brought my snorkels.

Fellas.

Hey, you got here a little early.

Maybe a year or so.

You mean to tell me all I bought was a
mess of trees and rocks?

Charlie, I suppose you signed something.

Well, yes, I had to grab a lot fast.

He said they were going like hotcakes.

I gave him a check.

Didn't you read the contract?

Well, sort of.

I see.

Well, I suppose they'll start building as
soon as they've sold all the lots.

Well, in the meantime, there's no reason
why you shouldn't enjoy the lot.

I mean, it's a beautiful country.

Yeah.

Yeah, what I like is it's so private.

Real neat.

We'll have the whole place to ourselves.

But I brought my swimming trunks.

We know you do.

Well, Charlie, why don't we go and see if
we can't find the lot, huh?

It ought to be around here sometime.

What's the place?

What's the number?



Oh, Mountain Manor.

Well, go on down the road a piece, and then you'll have to
get out and walk a little while, and you'll see the signs.

Well, at least I got signs up.

And a tent.

It's a beginning.

Well, thanks.

Happy landing.

Happy landing?

What do you mean by that?

Oh, that's just an expression, Charlie.

Charlie, it's an ideal spot.

What for?

Well, hopping, camping.

It's going to be fine, Charlie.

Yeah, you've got a real feeling for property.

Yeah, well, let's go.

Well, I guess this is as far as we can drive.

Yeah, my lot must be on the other side of the bushes.

He said we had to walk a bit.

Yeah.

Well, I still don't see any pines,
Charley, but it's quite a location.

Yeah, and it's good to be at a dead-end street.

That way you don't get much traffic.

No.

Okay, come on.

Take it easy, Charlie.

Uncle Charley, let me give you a hand here.

Come on, get away.

Who do you think I am, Whistler's grandmother?

I can navigate myself.

Well, take it easy, Uncle Charley.

All right, look.

Hey, Uncle Charley.

Are you okay?

Are you stubborn?

No, no.

It's my fault.

All right.

I think I twisted my ankle into a pretzel.

Don't touch it.

Do you think you can stand on it, Charley?

I don't know.

Well, even if you can, we're not going to
be able to get up that hill.

What should we do, Dad?

Well, we pass that ranger station on the way up here.

I'll tell you, you fellas stay with Uncle Charley,
and I'll hike back and see if I can get some help.

Okay.

I could splinter for you if I had a couple of tin snakes.

We learned how in Cub Scouts.

If I had a tent stake, I'd hit myself over
the head with it.

Mountain matter.

They ought to call it mountain goat matter.

Hey, Robbie, go see if you can find my lot.

Okay.

And if you find it, put a for sale sign on it.

Not that anybody would be stupid enough to buy it.

Uncle Charley, I found your lot.

Yeah?

It's got a cabin on it.

A cabin?

Well, sort of a cabin.

The sign on the porch says 197.

How about that for a bonus?

Land and a cabin.

Oh, boy.

This I gotta see.

Come on, you guys.

Come on.

Give me a hand.

Come on.

Take it easy, though.

Don't fall again, Uncle Charley.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

See?



The number's nailed right to the cabin.

You call that a cabin?

It's a slum.

I think it's a neat cabin, Uncle Charley.

Don't you, Ernie?

Huh?

Oh, oh, sure.

It's probably a caretaker shack that the
company's gonna clear away.

Yeah, that's probably it.

But do you know something?

This is not such a bad spot.

Once they get rid of that eyesore... Why, it's terrific.

Out all by ourselves, all the privacy in
the world, no neighbors to bother us.

Hey, here comes a guy.

Probably to start taking away the shack.

Here you go.

I'm going to have a nice dinner for you.

Come on, you.

Easy.

That's the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Oh, howdy, folks.

How are you?

Looking to buy a lot?

No, I bought one.

What parcel did you buy?

This one right here, number 197.

Say, do you know when they're going to get
rid of this old shack?

Say, just hold your safety pins on my fair, mister.

This little shack here happens to be my home.

Your home?

Sure.

Subdivision land ends with that line right over there.

Let's see, lot 197.

Well, that's the piece that snuggles right up next to me.

Well, what's my number doing on your porch?

Well, I just took the borrow of that.

See, uh...

Wife wanted some numbers on the house, like the city folks.

No hard feelings.

No, no, no, no.

Oh, good.

You know, it'd give me a lot of pleasure
if I could introduce you to my family.

Oh.

Hey, Ma!

Oh, Ma!

Come on out!

We got the new neighbor folks!

Neighbors, you say?

Neighbor folks, you say?

Sure as a goose goes barefoot.

Folks, here's your new next-door neighbors.

La, la, la.

This is my wife, Alma, and my girl, Lena Sue.

Hi.

Lena Sue's a nice shot if you
get to know her, but I reckon it

ain't going to take you two
darlings long to get acquainted.

Hey, hey, come on over and sit down for a spell.

Take your little weight off your feet.

Come on.

You all right?

You all right?

Oh, yeah.

Ah, here we are.

Funny.

It's going to be funny.

It's going to be funny.

It'll be fine having you people right next
to us, right, Douglas?

Oh, yes.

It's your pleasure to see you having money to do.

Oh.

Besides, if you... Hey, he shot you.

Oh, my God.

Hobie Proudy.

Hobie Proudy, come here, honey.

Come on.

Yeah, Ma?

He's such a sweet child.

Yeah, Ma?

Oh, what did you do that for?

Where's your manners at?

Ain't I told you never to go sh**ting at strangers?

I see, Ma.

Go get, for heaven's sake.

You're aiming to build soon, I hope.

I tell you, it's as lonesome as a skinny skunk up here.

But from now on, we're going to be like one big family.

In and out of each other's place all the time.

You want to wager I could hit you softer
than you could hit me?

Hit softer?

You want me to try?

Okay.

Oh!

Hello!

That slide's sure rad.

Sure is Zorg up.

I'm sorry, but we gotta go on home.

Oh, what?

You haven't even looked at your property yet.

The missus and I will walk you over while
the young'uns play, huh?

You've got the only level out in the whole parcel.

Well, I, uh... What's that?

It's a helicopter.

Hey, he's coming right this way.

Uncle Charley, look, it's Dad.

He's gonna land slapdab on your lot.

Hey, Chip and Robbie, come on, give me a hand.

Let's get out of here.

Good, good, bye.

Bye.

Hi.

Hey, Dad, you brought a helicopter.

Yeah, I got it at the ranger station.

Hey, this is great.

Charley, how's the ice?

I'll tell you later.

Get me out of here.

Okay.

How did you get in first?

Okay, come on.

Hey, Dad, do we all get to go?

Yeah, we all get to go.

Wait a minute.

Wait till I get you to get on my lap.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, here you go, Uncle Charley.

That's enough.

What are you trying to do?

Car boil me?

Okay, Steve, what's the verdict?

Well, Charley, it looks like you've signed
an airtight contract.

As far as I can see, everything's legal.

You read the small print.

How can it be, Dad, when there isn't any
clubhouse or golf course or any of that stuff?

The contract doesn't mention any of those things.

It just guarantees the owner use of all
facilities, present or projected.

So, Charley, I'm afraid you got exactly
what you agreed to pay for.

And don't forget the bonus.

Our next door neighbors.

Proudly.

Did you pay for the lot in full, Uncle Charley?

No.

Seventy-five bucks down.

The rest I pay in monthly installments.

So, that's one problem solved.

I don't have to worry what to do with my
spending money for the next five years.

Charley, I've got an idea.

Maybe I can get you off the hook.

How, Steve?

And I'll let you know if it works.

See you folks tonight.

Got it.

Got it.

If we had a helicopter service, Mountain
Manor would become our most desirable area.

Commute by helicopter to your hideaway in the pines.

You could ask $3,000 apiece for those lots.

Is that so?

Well, now, uh, about Mr. O'Casey's lot.

Look, I'm sorry.

I wish I could help you, but we're not
buying back O'Casey's lot.

You see, we've got 24 other lots in Mountain Manor.

You should be happy to own such a valuable
piece of property.

Yes.

When you put it that way, I suppose he should.

Well, thanks, anyway.

So, Mr. Hargrove, I was just thinking.

Mr. O'Casey's lot seems to be the only
level one in Mountain Manor.

Now, I was just wondering where you were
planning on building your heliport.

Mr. Douglas, I, uh...

What?

The heliport.

You know, where the helicopter will land and take off.

Of course, I don't know why I'm worrying about it.

I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Goodbye, Mr. Hargrove.

Oh, Mr. Douglas.

Yes?

How much would Mr. O'Casey take for his lot?

Well, uh...



You got 500 bucks selling my lot back to Mr. Hargrove?

Well, uh... How did you do it, Steve?

Oh, I just let his pines whisper to him a little.

I don't know how to thank you.

Charley, you never have to thank us for anything.

Just don't all sit around here.

What do you think that chocolate cake is
doing in the kitchen?

Chocolate cake?

Let's go!

I'm right behind you.

Me too.

Come on, Charley, I'll give you a hand.

I can walk.

Get out of here.

That pack of wolves won't leave you a crumb.

And don't forget to pick up your big feet in there.

I didn't wax that kitchen floor for my health.

My Three Sons is twice as nice when you see it twice.

So stay tuned for more middle-class suburban hijinks on
another episode of My Three Sons, next, only in TV Land.