07x23 - Now, in My Day

[bunniefuu]

Hi, Debbie.

Hi, Chip.

Happy anniversary.

Oh, no, I forgot.

I forgive you.

Which one is this?

We've been going steady for seven complete weeks.

It's a new record for me.

Me too.

I wonder what it is.

Hey, neat.

Just what I needed.

Know what it is?

No.

It's a Chinese abacus, so you can count
all the days that we've been going together.

And look, I've marked all our future anniversaries.

Now you'll never forget them again in all
the years to come.

Look, they put up the sign.

I guess the dance is really on.

Oh, I've been looking forward to it.

Our first dance.

Chitterbug your way back to the 30s.

What are they talking about?

What's a jitterbug?

It's a dance from the olden days.

I was talking to Mary Alice last night.

She's on the committee.

She said that we're going to invite our
parents and have a dance just like way back then.

Why?

You know how our parents are always saying that
our music is crazy and that our dances are dumb?

Sure.

Well, this will be one of their parties, and we're going
to find out if there really is much more fun than at ours.

We're going to have crooners and foxtrots and razzmatazz.

Razzmatazz?

Well, we're going to need some old guy advisors.

I can hardly remember back to Frankie Avalon.

What do you mean, invite our parents?

Well, fathers are going to escort the daughters,
and the mothers are supposed to go with the sons.

I have to tell Daddy tonight that he has a
date with me, and you better...

Oh, I...

Yeah, well, have a nice time at the dance.

Have a nice time?

But we're going steady.

How can I go to the dance without you?

How can I go to the dance?

I'd go to the dance with my mother if I
don't have a mother.

Oh, Chip.

You don't have to feel sorry for me.

I'm used to it.

Anyhow, Uncle Charley's practically the same
as a mother, except he calls the kitchen, the galley.

I'll be there all alone with my father.

I'll be disgraced.

You mean you'd go anyway even if I couldn't?

Everybody else is going, almost.

I guess it's okay to feel sorry for me after all.

Chip, maybe I can help you.

It happens I'm going steady with Marsha Billings.

Good luck.

Me and Marsha got the same problem that you and Debbie do.

We want to go to the dance, but Marsha
doesn't have a father.

Hey, I could go to the dance with Marsha's mother.

Sure, and Marsha could go with your father.

Good thinking.

Okay to tell Marsha your dad will be your date?

Sure, tonight I'll tell him I told you to tell her.

He'd be glad to.

Yeah, could I ask you kind of a favor?

Sure, go ahead, Chip.

It won't cost you anything except for the corsage.

The corsage?

Marsha Billings is this girl I don't know.

But there's this boy I do know named Frank Wilson.

Marsha goes with him.

Only she doesn't have a father.

Well, see?

Are you talking about the eighth grade dash, Chip?

Yeah.

And you want me to take Marsha?

Gosh, would you, Dad?

That way I could go with her mother.

And then I could be with Debbie.

It's a matter of life and death.

Well, I don't usually go out with strange women, but,
uh, well, once in a while a man has to live dangerously.

I'll help you out, Chipper.

Thanks a lot, Dad.

Does this tie look okay, Dad?

Oh, it looks fine, Chipper.

How about mine?

Okay.

Now, some of the kids wanted to dress like
you guys did back in the 30s.

You know, with those big white ties and
floppy trousers and junk.

But we decided not to, because you can't
have fun at a dance if everybody looks stupid.

Of course you can.

Dad, I just wanted to tell you, Debbie
Martin is who I'm going steady with.

So even though I'm going to the dance with
Marcia's mother, well, I won't be...

I think I get the idea, Chip.

Once we get there, there'll be a general
reshoveling of partners.

Yeah, that's it.

Except for you and Marcia's mother.

I guess the two of you are kind of stuck with each other.

Well, don't give it another thought, Chip.

We'll just sit around and talk about the olden days.

You know, the teapot dome scandal and
Teddy Roosevelt and his rough riders.

Yeah, way back when.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and
gentlemen, this is your announcer from the.

Rainbow Room, high above the boys'
gymnasium in downtown Bryant Park,

bringing you Bill Bergerdorf and his bandits, who ask
you that toe-tapping musical question, ain't she sweet?

I'll say one, two, one, two, three, four.

I bet you heard that tune a million times
on your Christmas set, right, Mr. Douglas?

Debbie?

Excuse us.

Now, let's see.

Chip is going steady with Debbie,
and they're dancing together.

Frank is going steady with Marsha,
and they're dancing together.

Love seems to be such a terribly serious
thing at their age.

Were we so intense?

Oh, I was, to every boy in the class.

At the same time.

How about you?

I was in love with four girls, from a distance.

But as I remember, you're the best looking
girl I ever took to a junior high dance.

Thank you.

Hi, Mom.

Having fun?

Definitely.

What happened to Frank?

Oh, he had to help with the tables for
refreshments, but he'll be back.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, they're starting to serve the punch and junk.

Debbie ought to help slice the cake soon.

Well, Nancy, how about a round of junior high punch?

Of course, when in Rome.

Chip, how about you and Marsha?

Me and Marsha?

I'll wait for Frank.

Oh.

If you'll excuse us.

Oh, sure, go ahead.

We can sit here and watch the old couple
doing that old junk where they touch each other.

Well, I really made a fool of you, didn't I?

I mean, suggesting that Chip have some punch with Marsha.

It seems going steady is a more binding
relationship than marriage.

I hope nobody thinks it's funny,
you and me sitting together like this.

I hope not.

It was sure nice of your mother to come.

It was real nice of your dad, too.

He's real good looking, isn't he?

I guess you look a lot like him.

Me?

Your mom's real good looking, too.

I guess that's how you got to be so pretty.

Thank you.

This is supposed to be like our parents'
dance, and they used to dance with just anybody.

Why don't we?

After all, we're friends if each other's steady.

Steve, do you see what I see?

What?

Marsha and Chip are dancing together.

No.

Debbie never told me what a good dancer you were, Chip.

That's because I'm not.

It's just that you're so good.

Aw, you're sweet.

You know, Nancy, times change,
music changes, and styles change,

but junior high school ponch always tastes the same.

One-third grape juice, one-third ginger ale,
and one-third dissolved wax from the cups.

Excuse me.

Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?

Oh, sure, Jeff.

I'll freshen my makeup while you men talk.

Uh, problems?

And how.

I thought you were having a good time.

I am, but with the wrong girl.

Oh.

I went wild, started dancing with Marsha,
and now I don't even want to dance with Debbie.

Is that bad?

It's terrible.

Marsha's Frank's girl.

Oh, that's right.

You know, for a minute there, I lost track.

So how come you dance with Marsha all the time?

She wasn't your date.

Well, when you get to be my age, you'll understand.

I couldn't help myself.

Boy, Chip, I'm afraid you're going to end up
like Adolph Menjo in the movie I saw tonight.

What was that?

What?

Somebody throwing rocks against the window.

Who is it?

Who's down there?

It's me, Frank.

How you doing?

Pretty good.

What are you doing on my lawn in the middle of the night?

I just wanted to make sure you had a good time tonight.

Did you have a good time?

Yeah, pretty good.

Well, that's what I figured.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I wonder what he was doing standing out
there in the middle of the night.

He was there because it's an infernal triangle.

A what?

When two guys like the same girl,
that makes an infernal triangle.

I learned that in the Adolph Menjow movie.

What happened to Adolph Menjow?

Well, he started liking this girl that
belonged to somebody else.

So the guy who she belonged to said he was
going to do something to the other guy.

What'd he do?

Shot him.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Hank, I'm your friend, and I just want you
to know that I won't ever see Marcia again.

Okay.

Well, if I see her at school, well, I'll
just duck around a corner or something.

You don't have to worry.

Okay, goodbye.

Boy, I didn't think you'd ever get off that phone.

I've got to get a date this weekend.

Hello?

Oh, just a minute.

Dad!

Yeah?

It's all my day.

See you.

Oh, thanks.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Nancy.

Steve, I thought you might be interested.

I went to a PTA meeting.

We decided it was sweet of the kids to
give our customs a try, so we'd like to

sponsor a dance, and this time, we'll meet them halfway.

You mean we attempt bear music and dancing?

Right.

Maybe there could be some communications
between our generations after all.

Sounds like a fine idea.

Well, we want to get it right.

I told everybody you had a son, Robbie,
who could advise us on adolescence.

You know, habits, care, and feeding, language, you know.

Well, good.

How about tonight?

You'll be home.

I'll be here, too.

Will Chip be home?

Yeah, he'll be here.

Well, I don't want to leave Marsha alone.

If you don't mind, I'll bring her along,
and, well, she could talk to Chip.

Oh, fine.

Yes, I'll see you later.

Wonderful.

Bye-bye.

Next.

Thanks, Dad.

Hey, Dad, you remember that problem I was
having about Marsha?

Yeah.

Well, I solved it.

I told Frank I'm never going to see her again.

Well, you're going to see her once
more, Chip, because that was Mrs.

Billings on the phone, and she and
Marsha are coming over here tonight.

Well, that's called chrismet.

Chrismet?

When two people get thrown together,
because it's written in the stars.

I learned that from an old Joan Crawford movie.

Marsha, we've got to face it.

We're going steady with other people.

We have to think about their feelings and junk.

But I want to be with you, Chip.

I keep thinking about you.

Well, you better just try and forget me.

I'm not so great.

Oh, but you are, Chip.

I didn't even make the volleyball team.

That doesn't matter.

Well, I got in trouble for being late to the electric shop.

Who cares?

And half the time I leave my dirty clothes on the floor.

See, I'm not so great.

But you are.

I am?

Boy, Marsha, you're sure not making this easy.

Now, what you need is a group with a beat.

I can take care of that, the griefs,
but there's something else.

Do they have good rhythm?

Not rhythm, beat.

Hey, Jazzy.

Oh, now, Milt, I'm sure Jazzy is out.

Neato?

Teenagers haven't used that for weeks.

This dance has to be on the ball.

Oh, what you mean is out of sight.

Out of sight?

Right.

Oh, see?

Hey, now we're cooking.

Oh, Milt.

I don't think... Oh, no, I mean, now we're... Out of sight.

Yeah, out of sight.

Don't you wish you were carefree and had
nothing to worry about like our folks in there?

Yeah.

It must be great to be grown up,
never ever have any problems.

Was Marcia here tonight?

Yeah, she came over with her mother.

Isn't it time for the rock to hit the window?

Oh, well, here we go again.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Chip.

I heard you rock.

Oh, yeah, I wanted to talk to you.

Okay.

I went by Marcia's house tonight.

She wasn't home.

Yeah, I know.

She went out with her mother.

Do you know where she went?

Yeah.

Do you know where she went?

Yeah.

Thanks a lot, Chip.

Are you still going to the teenage dance with Abby?

Sure.

Is Frank still going to go with Marsha?

Of course, they're going steady.

I know how you can solve your problem.

How?

Walk off the end of the pier and don't tread water.

So that makes sense.

That's like a George Raft movie.

Isn't that, Chip?

Right.

I don't think it's so different from the
way we danced in our day.

Well, I distinctly remember dancing closer together.

It's just more like basketball practice.

Yes, I do, baby.

I do, yeah.

Good man to have around.

I do, yeah.

Good man to have around.

Good man to have around.

A good man to have around the house.

The kids are enjoying it anyhow.

Yeah.

Except for Chip and Marsha.

They're doing the last act from Camille.

Chip, why don't you dance this one with Marsha?

No point in just standing there and
staring at each other all night.

Chip, we're going to have to tell Debbie and Frank.

The thing is, they like us so much.

That's true.

I don't enjoy hurting anybody's feelings.

Oh, Chip, you're so sensitive.

Yeah.

Matt, let's go sit down.

That was a real good book report that you
gave yesterday in English.

Oh, it was nothing.

I dig Ivanhoe.

You're intelligent.

I'm not so much.

You sure are.

Well, maybe I am.

Pretend they're having such a good time.

Eating their hearts out.

I didn't think eating our hearts out was that much fun.

Tell.

Them now.

Tell them we have to break up with them.

I hate to spoil their party.

Hey, Frank.

Oh, hi, Chip.

Oh, no.

What's the matter with them?

I don't know.

I don't think Frank's going to be throwing
rocks in my window anymore.

Yeah, it was great.

I mean, the kids don't think grown-ups are
so square after them.

Well, thanks for giving us the dance.

Oh, you're welcome, Chip.

I hear you and Marsha worked out your problems.

Yeah.

I'm going steady with her now,
and Frank's going steady with Debbie.

Are you going steady with Marsha's mother?

Oh, no.

We're just good friends.

Boy.

Dad doesn't get hung up on girls.

He has emotional sterility, like me.

Thanks, Ernie.

Don't mention it.

Well, good night, guys.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, Dad.

What was that?

Here we go again.

I thought you and Frank had things straightened out.

We did.

We did.

Tell him to choose his weapon.

So we'll meet him at daybreak.

That's what they did in a Douglas Fairbanks Jr. movie.

Ernie, the one that's for you.

For me?

Hi, Ernie.

Hi, Sheldon.

Guess what I'm doing here?

I'm throwing rocks at the window.

Did you know that I carry Patricia
Fenman's books home every day?

Yeah.

And is it true you traded her a peanut butter
sandwich for a liverwurst at lunch yesterday?

Yeah.

Thanks a lot, Ernie.

Sheldon's jealous because I traded sandwiches
with Patricia Fenman at lunch yesterday.

You hung up on Patricia Fenman?

No, I hung up on liverwurst.

Good night, Ernie.

Good night, Chip.

What could be as nice as an hour with my three sons?

How about an hour with three daughters?

Sure.

Stay tuned for Bobby Joe, Betty Joe,
Billy Joe, and everyone at the Shady Rest.

Hotel on Petticoat Junction as TV Land's
Twice as Nice Morning continues.