10x05 - The Littlest Rebel

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

You know what, I still can't believe, darling.

What?

That I actually have the right to call you darling.

Um,

Cesare, look, why does he not give to her a ring?

You don't know why.

It's your fault.

My fault?

They come here many times, no?

You play for them many times, no?

With bad music, people do not fall in love.

Bad music?

For 14 years, I played the violin at the La Stalle.

I played the violin in Milan.



Okay, if you have played for Toscanini,
go play for them something soft,

with starlight, with elegance.

I bring some wine in case your music accomplish nothing.

I play no good, eh?

Mama, you see what the violin can accomplish?

Observe, the ring!

Oh, hey!

Everybody, attenzione!

In this booth is going to be a wedding!

Of course you know who we're going to have
to invite to the wedding, don't you?

Mama Rossini and Cesare.

I'm not sure that I'll be able to
recognize Cesare without his gypsy outfit.

Thank you.

Have you noticed anything different around here?

Your mother hasn't turned off the light.

Well, I guess she figures now that we're
engaged, we can turn it off ourselves.

Steve, I've been thinking something.

Now, I don't want you to say anything until I'm through.

It's this.

Now, I'm going to be moving into a house
full of men with my little daughter.

And no matter what you might think,
that's going to be quite a joke for all of them.

Now, Barbara... I'm not through yet.

If they want me in their house, I'm flattered.

But it's just that I feel I ought to talk
to the boys and Charley separately,

so that they, well, they kind of know more
or less what to expect.

They know what to expect.

Well, not really, Steve.

And maybe it's just that I want to make
sure that I'm really welcome.

Of course you're welcome.

Well, let me make sure my own way.

Okay.

Okay.

You don't think I'm being silly about this, do you?

I mean, as soon as I know that the boys
and Charley really want Dodie and me in

their house, well, then all our problems will be solved.

All our problems will be solved.

I thought I should put it into actual words.

Well, you didn't have to, Barb,
but we know how you must feel.

Hey, Katie, when's your lunch going to be ready?

Uh, I'll give it another couple of minutes.

You were part of the family the minute Dad
started falling in love with you.

Don't you know that?

I guess I should have known that.

Katie felt something of the same way before we got married.

Take it easy.

Your banquet's on the stove.

One night, Uncle Charley yelled at me.

From then on, I knew I was part of the family.

Could I, uh...

Could you what?

Could I hold little Steve?

Sure.

There you go, Stevie.

There you go, Stevie.

Oh, yeah.

I got you.

Yeah, I got you.

Oh!

Oh, what a baby.

She's almost ready.

She's almost ready.

Look, if you got anything to say, out with it.

Well, I...

I'm just trying to say that things are
going to be a little different around

here, and I wanted you to realize that
fact before the marriage instead of afterward.

Mrs. Harper, if you're willing to live in
a swamp, that's okay with me.

A swamp?

A swamp.

You mean things aren't always as neat
around here as you'd like them?

Things are never as neat around here as I'd like.

I wouldn't mind that.

You're right, Mrs. Harper.

A swamp.

I guess there isn't anything else to say, is there?

Oh, yes, there is.

I'm tired of calling you Mrs. Harper.

From now on, it's Barbara.

Charlie, that's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me.

How come we have to do this?

Uncle Charley says he's not changing any sheets
and pillowcases in our room for the rest of his life.

How come?

Because he says we got younger muscles than he does.

And a lot of junk about how he doesn't want
to get bursitis from wrestling with bed sheets.

Uh, Chip, Ernie, I brought Mrs. Harper.

Hi, Mrs. Harper.

Hello.

Uh, hey, what's all this?

Oh, all of a sudden, Uncle Charley's
muscles are getting better.

His muscles got shot down, and we have to
change the sheets.

Oh.

Well, uh, Barbara wanted to talk to you,
but I, uh, well, I guess this isn't the place.

Oh, this is just fine, Steve.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'll leave you.

I have some things I should do in the garage.

Would you like to sit down, Mrs. Harper?

Well, thank you, Chip.

Um, your father and I had a discussion last night.

Do you mean a fight?

Boy, Ernie.

One of these days, somebody's gonna drop a net over you.

Now, go ahead, Mrs. Harper.

Well, as you know, we're going to be married
soon, and we're all going to be living here together.

Well, what I want you to understand is, is
that, uh, things aren't going to be the same.

I mean, they... well, they can't be, can they?

Fellas, would you grab the other hand?

Sure.

What I mean, fellas, is that I'll be
bringing in a different set of opinions

into your house and another set of attitudes.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, what I'm trying to say is,
is that your life, by my very presence,

is, uh, is going to be different.

Oh, you mean like perfume and stockings
hanging in the bathroom and junk?

Where'd you learn about stockings hanging in the bathroom?

He watches a lot of movies.

Oh, go ahead, Mrs. Harper.

Well, I-I-I guess what I mean is,
is that I want you to have a clear picture

of our futures together if Dodie and I move in here.

If?

I thought it was said, sort of.

Well, yes, it is, but, well, I wanted to be sure.

Mrs. Harper, don't say if.

Dad'll croak if you don't marry him.

You will?

Well, sure.

Oh.

The whole house is blowing its mind because Dad's so happy.

Well, he says if we don't love you, he'll k*ll us.

He didn't say anything like that.

He said once she's in the house and we get
to know her, we can't help loving her.

I think I know what you've been trying to say, Mrs. Harper.

Well, I'm glad because I'm not so sure myself.

We'd like very much to have you for our mother.

You would?

Well, sure.

You make Dad happy.

We don't exactly remember our real mother.

And you help with the beds real good.

And you're real pretty.

Well, here's another thing you're going to
have to get used to.

Hey!

Yeah?

Are you satisfied now?

Steve, you wouldn't believe it.

From Chip to Ernie to Charley to Robbie
and Katie, well, they were all just wonderful.

What a family I'm getting into.

Tell me, how did Uncle Charley make you feel welcome?

Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm not welcome.

He called me Barbara.

Under all that crustiness is a marshmallow heart.

Well, I've told you.

Now I want to go home and tell my mother.

Nobody has a right to be this happy.

I'll pick you up for dinner around 7.30, okay?

Okay.

Boy, all she can talk about is some guy
that has three guitars in a soundproof garage.

Well, Barbara just left.

She told me how you all...

Well, anyway, thanks, fellas.

What did Dad say?

He said thank you for something.

He was thanking us for making Barbara happy.

Kind of makes a guy feel good all over.

Come on, get back to work.

Go on.

Yeah, I'm done.

No kidding.

Mother, they were wonderful.

They welcomed me so warmly.

That's nice, d*ck.

What's the matter?

Well, Barbara, maybe you've been talking
to the wrong people.

The wrong people?

Well, Dodie has been in her room all day.

She won't eat, and I can't get her to say anything.

Dodie, I'm home.

Dodie, what is it?

Whatever it is, I'm sure we can straighten it out.

Dodie, look at me.

Dorothy Harper, I want you to look at me.

I saw that man kiss you.

You mean Mr. Douglas?

Well, honey, I'm going to marry him.

I told you that.

He's going to be your new daddy.

Sweetheart, when people are going to get
married, well, they're supposed to kiss each other.

Don't you see that?

I love Mr. Douglas.

But you're my mother.

Oh, Stephen.

Hello, Mrs. Vincent.

Come in, dear.

Come right in.

Sit down, dear.

Barbara will be with you right away.

All right, fine.

I'm helping her get into a new dress.

Anything I can get you?

Oh, no, no.

This is fine.

Thank you.

Okay, dear.

Well, hi, Dodie.

Tell me, uh, how was school today?

That was kind of a silly question, wasn't it?

It's Saturday.

Uh, how was school yesterday?

Why do you kiss Mama all the time?

All the time?

I saw you.

Oh, you did?

Well, Dodie, I, I kiss your mother because I love her.

And I guess she told you?

She told you she and I are going to be married.

And, uh, after we get married,
uh, you and Mama will live in my house.

And you'll have two brothers and an uncle and a dog.

And I'll be your daddy.

This is my daddy.

Hi, Steve.

Oh, hi, Barbara.

Uh, Dodie and I were just having a little talk.

Oh, Steve, I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

Don't worry about it.

Oh, Dodie.

Oh, Dodie.

Steve, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it.

It's all right.

Her father died when she was less than three years old.

Oh, of course, I told her about it.

There are pictures of him in the house.

I guess she still remembers him,
but it can't be a very clear memory.

But she does remember him, and...

naturally, she resents me.

What are we going to do, Steve?

Well, I...

I don't think it would be right for us to get married
as long as she feels the way she does about me.

We've got a problem.

Don't.

And I guess the only solution is for me to try to
make friends with a little girl who doesn't like me.

She's a very warm, loving child, Steve.

Uncle Charley, did you run out of dried milk again?

No, honey, I just found it.

You guys ever try going to the market?

Well, I don't get paid till next Friday.

Besides, this is stuff you borrowed from us.

Who is Dad?

Took that little demon of Barbara's to a movie.

Uncle Charley, she's not a little demon.

She's a very sweet little girl who's just
not quite sure what's happening.

Dad will unlock the door.

You can take my word for it.

He took her to a movie?

Yeah, it's part of the good neighbor policy.

Oh, no, it's Saturday.

He's taking her to a Saturday matinee.

You,

uh, like the picture, Dodie?

No, sir.

You don't have to call me, sir.

That's okay, sir.

Hold.

On a minute, mister.

Hold who?

It's not supposed to be.

In here.

Right back.

Why.

Didn't Mommy come with us, sir?

Well, Mommy was busy, yeah.

Dodie.

Why is she busy these days?

Well, to tell you the truth, Dodie,
she really wasn't busy, yeah.

I just wanted to be alone with you so we
could get to know each other better.

Can we go home now, sir?

I can eat this on the way.

I think maybe you'd better work on it a little more here.

I know.

My daddy liked me to eat it all so I
wouldn't drop any on the car seat.

Yeah, that's right, Dodie.

Take your time.

You smell like my daddy.

Oh.

Did your daddy smoke a pipe, too?

I guess so, sir.

Your daddy must have been a very nice man.

Sir.

Yeah, Dodie?

I guess you're kind of nice, too.

Thank you, Dodie.

Can we go home now?

Yeah, I think we can go home now.

And it's all right if you drop a little on the seat.

But just a little, huh?

Come on, sweetheart.

Come on, tr*mp.

Come on and sit up.

Well, Dodie, I think he's doing the best
trick he knows right now.

You mean just sitting there?

Yeah.

Well, of course, he wags his tail, too,
but not necessarily when you tell him to.

Come on, tr*mp.

Up.

Does he know how to follow people, Mr. Douglas?

Follow them?

Well, why don't you try and see?

Come on, tr*mp.

Come on, boy.

Come on, tr*mp.

Come on, boy.

Come on.

What do you know?

Come on, tr*mp.

Come on.

I don't believe it.

She left the house this morning with such
a scowl on her face.

Yeah, I know.

Okay.

Now, you tell me.

How did you do this?

I didn't.

Dodie did.

What?

Well, I'm not quite sure when it happened.

The trip to the zoo was no help,
and the Saturday matinee was a shambles.

But there was a moment in the ice cream parlor.

Maybe it's as simple as my eating an ice cream cone.

Larry used to do that.

On Sunday night, it was, um, it was dessert.

I remember I finished my cone first, and, uh, while
I was sitting there waiting for her, I, uh, I lit my pipe.

Larry smoked a pipe.

Isn't that funny?

The things that kids remember.

Yeah.

Anyway, I think that's, uh, that's when she accepted me.

I don't mean taking Larry's place,
but, uh, sort of alongside.

Well, anyway, it's a beginning, huh?

Yeah.

As soon as you're through necking...

As soon as you're ready.

Okay, Chuck.

Dodie, come on down for dinner.

Come on, tr*mp.

Come on.

I think I almost got him to sit up.

Oh, good for you.

Come on, tr*mp.

Sit up.

tr*mp, please sit up.

tr*mp.

Sit up.

Steve, would you mind if I tried a little experiment?

Uh, what experiment?

Come on, tr*mp.

tr*mp.

This.

tr*mp.

tr*mp, I said sit up.

Sit up, tr*mp.

Mama, will tr*mp partly be my dog when you
marry Mr. Douglas?

Well, um, I think so.

Don't you, Steve?

Oh, I'm sure the boys will share tr*mp
with you if you share Myrtle with them.

Hey, Neat!

Hey, look.

If somebody don't come in and eat these
veal chops, I'm going to have to eat them

all myself, and I'll get indigestion,
and it'll be your fault.

Come on, Dodie.

Let's go into dinner, huh?