10x12 - Silver Threads

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray and
his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

Take.

It easy, fellas.

I've got some work to do.

Rob, you're exaggerating.

You call one hour and nine minutes exaggerating?

Hi, Chip.

How are the babies?

Fine.

No problems?

Oh, just the usual.

I changed two of them, and after that, they were happy.

What happened to home by nine?

Did the movie run late or something?

Complained to the window shopping champ.

After the movie, she had to look at a few thousand shoes.

Now you're exaggerating again.

Let's go to a movie or something, she says.

I found out what or something was.

One hour and nine minutes of gawking at shoes.

Well, I guess I'll get going.

Sorry we kept you so late.

I'm really sorry, Chip.

I just couldn't make up my mind between the
buckle square toe and the clear heel sling pump.

Well, that'll do it every time.

Night.

Night.

Young man.

You forgot your scuffed toe round heel.

Really, Robbie, you shouldn't get uptight
in front of your brother.

I'm sorry I have to leave so soon.

I'd like to stay to see how this thing turns out.

Is it okay if I use the washer?

Help yourself.

Uh, you and Katie still squabbling?

What do you mean?

Well, your laundry bag is half empty.

Now, either the triplets are running dry,
or you had to get out of the house.

Oh, Rob, she didn't throw you out of the house, did she?

When's lunch?

The course I should have known.

Mr. Blabbermouth, tell me.

Are Katie and I going to be on the 6 O 'clock?

The 6 O 'clock news?

Oh, hi, Rob.

Thought I heard you out here.

Say, did you and Katie settle your little problem?

I'll see you guys later.

Thanks for the sandwich, Uncle Charley.

That's all right.

All I was going to do was eat it.

You want to talk about it, Rob?

Dad, there's nothing to talk about.

When Katie and I got home last night, we had a little flap.

And the triplets woke up, and by the time we got them
to sleep, we were just too exhausted to argue anymore.

Everything's fine.

Oh, that's good.

There's one thing that bugs me, though.

What's that?

It's women.

They're devious.

They like to plot things.

They like to maneuver you.

You think Katie maneuvered you?

Yes.

She wanted a new pair of shoes,
but did she come right out and say it?

No.

What did she do?

She said, let's go to the movies.

Now, why would she do that?

Because the theater just happens to be
right next door to Lawson's Bouderie.

Oh, what makes you think she didn't really
want to see the picture?

Slaughter on Bloody Ridge.

Dad, believe me, the main attraction was
shoe sale at Lawson's Bouderie.

Oh, come on, Rob.

Well, you're a newlywed.

Wait till you've been married as long as I have.

Oh, yeah, you old-timers know all the answers.

No offense, Dad, but you've been living in
a man's world too long.

You'll find out.

I know.

I know that you and Barbara love each
other, and so do Katie and I.

But love has nothing to do with it.

It's just part of being a woman.

They like to maneuver and scheme.

I think it's genetic.

Genetic nothing.

It's built right into them.

Hello.

Oh, hi, honey.

Steve.

Well, Dodie and I finished our shopping.

We thought maybe you'd like to have lunch with us.

Well, that's the best offer I've had all day.

The pink parakeet?

Where is that?

Okay, I'll change clothes and I'll meet you in 45 minutes.

Bye-bye.

Well, that was my wife inviting me for lunch.

No scheming, no maneuvering, just a nice,
thoughtful gesture.

Yeah, well, you still better keep your eyes open.

She's probably up to something.

No, I know, Barbara.

I think you're wrong, Rob.

Yeah, I won't be needing this.

Thanks.

I think you're wrong, too, Rob.

What could possibly happen in a place
called a pink parakeet?

A pink parakeet.

Oh, hello.

I'm meeting Mrs. Douglas.

Hi, Bobby.

Hello, Dodie.

Well, here we are.

Barbara?

Yes?

I was just noticing, I seem to be the only
man in the whole place.

Oh?

Well, there's a man over there.

Oh.

Well, that's the busboy.

Don't you like it here, Daddy?

Oh, it's fine, Dodie.

Fine.

Thank you and Mother for inviting me.

I'm starved.

Are you ladies ready to order?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

It's all right.

Do you know what you want, Dodie?

No, I'm still thinking.

Daddy can order.

All right.

Well, while you other ladies are making up
your minds, I know exactly what I want.

I want a nice, thick, juicy steak sandwich and
some French fried potatoes and a nice, big salad.

Do I look progressing?

Um, they don't have steak sandwiches here, honey.

Oh.

Um, the closest we come to meet is the
pimento and egg yolk.

Ha, ha, ha.

Um, here's a list of the sandwiches.

Oh, fine.

Well, let's see, uh, pimento and egg yolk,
chopped walnut and chives, cream cheese

and parsley, and yogurt and shredded olive?

Well, let's see now, uh...

Oh, why don't you just, uh, bring us an order?

We'll have an assorted platter, and
we'll have, uh, two coffees and a milk.

I'm sorry, honey.

I should have realized you wouldn't be
comfortable in a place like this, but it's Dodie's favorite.

Oh, it's fine, fine.

It's, uh, it's only different,
and, uh, it's very interesting.

Well, now, uh, what mischief have you two girls been up to?

Daddy, I've got a problem.

Oh, what's your problem, Dodie?

Our class is having this nature thing at school.

We're going to school on Monday,
and I promised to bring a tree.

Oh, that's no problem.

We'll just go down to the nursery and buy a little tree.

No!

Somebody has to be a tree.

Oh, somebody has to be a tree.

Jane and Tammy and me are being mushrooms.

Yeah, I'm sure you'll be very pretty mushrooms.

But a forest would look pretty done without a tree.

It sure would.

When the teacher asked, who had a big
brother to be a tree, I said I had three of them.

Well, you certainly do have three of them, and I'm
sure any one of them would be happy to be your tree.

You really think so, Daddy?

You really think so?

Oh, sure.

I'll tell you, why don't you ask Ernie?

He's really started to grow, and he'd make
a first-class tree.

Don't you think, Mother?

I think.

Well, now, let's get down to the business
of this meeting, eating.

Don't they look great, Daddy?

Happy appetite.

Now, let's see.

Which is which?

The brown ones are yogurt and shredded
olive, and the square ones are chopped

walnut and chives, and the purple ones are pimento and...

Well, now, let's see.

I think I'll start with one of the square ones.

Um, uh...

Now, second thought.

Maybe, uh, one of the round ones would be more silly.

Oh, they are delicious.

Boy,

this tastes good, Charley.

This ain't no pink parakeet, but we aim to please.

Steve?

Steve, are you down there?

Yeah, I'm here, honey.

I'll be right down.

Honey, what are you doing?

Barbara knows I didn't get enough to eat.

Honey?

I've got a bit of a problem.

I bought these shoes on approval today,
and I can't decide which ones to keep.

Oh.

Well, they're both very nice.

Neither one would be fine.

I just can't make up my mind.

The patent leather, the square toe.

Well, those are nice.

These?

Hmm.

Hmm.

What about the patent leather?

Well, they're nice, too.

I was always partial to patent leather.

Well, good.

These are much more stylish.

Oh.

And they're more practical, too.

Well, I suppose that's true.

Good.

Well, the patent leather go with a lot more of my clothes.

Well, why don't you get the patent leather, then?

But I like the others, too.

Well, then, take those.

Hi, kids.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, where are the babies?

Double parked?

No, Grandma dropped by to spoil them for a
while, so we got out for some fresh air.

Well, it's perfect timing, because Steve was just
trying to help me decide which one of these I should keep.

Now, what do you think?

Oh, here we go again.

What a troublemaker.

Well, they're both beautiful.

Let's look at them in the light.

Why don't you man talk with your father for a while?

Dad, the honeymoon is over.

Join the club.

What are you talking about, Rob?

Well, can't you see?

Barbara's starting to maneuver.

It's the old, uh, which pair do you like
better, dear, routine.

Oh, is that what it is?

Well, sure.

And you're supposed to say, uh,
well, honey, why don't you keep them both?

Rob, if she wanted both pairs of shoes, I'm
sure she wouldn't maneuver or be devious.

She'd just tell me.

Dad, you sure are naive for a father of three.

By the way, how was the, uh, the pink parakeet?

Oh, it wasn't bad.

It was kind of fun.

Barbara didn't just happen to, uh,
drop in a little softy about the shoes?

No.

No, the subject of shoes never came up.

Oh, well, uh, she's smoother than I thought.

Well, Katie made up her mind for me.

It's the patent leather.

Well, wonderful.

It's all settled.

That is, if you agree.

Oh, I do.

I do.

Gee, uh, I don't know, Barbara.

I think the square toe looks much more youthful.

Mm-hmm.

Well, it certainly is more mod if that's
what you're looking for.

I think Robbie's right.

What do you think, Steve?

Well, darling, if you're having so much trouble
deciding, why don't you just take both pair?

Oh, I'd do a lot.

I wouldn't think of it.

I said I'd only keep one pair,
and that's all I'm going to keep.

See, it's the patent leather, and these go back.

Hey, why don't you take me upstairs and
show me what they go with?

Well,

what do you have to say to your newlywed father now?

Well, uh, I think you better watch out, Dad.

She must be setting you up for something big.

Who's there?

Me.

Come on in.

Did you have a nice time at the library?

Not bad.

Is that something you want to ask me?

Well, yeah.

Wouldn't it be fun to be a tree?

Huh?

Yeah, for our flowers and mushrooms and everything.

Oh!

Oh, you're gonna be a tree.

That sounds great.

Listen, if there's anything I can do to
help fix you up, I'd be glad to do it.

No!

I can't be a tree.

Ernie, I'm too little.

You have to be a tree.

Me?

How about Ernie?

He won't do it.

He said trees don't wear glasses.

He said that?

I'm sorry, Dodie, but I really can't either.

I'm busy that night.

But I didn't say what night.

I'm busy every night that week.

The coach is holding extra basketball practice.

Can't you do your show with just mushrooms and flowers?

No, we have to have a tree.

Gee, I'm sorry, Dodie.

Why don't you ask Uncle Charley?

Well, oh, okay, bye.

Something on your mind?

Well, come on in and take a load off your brain.

Ernie wouldn't.

And Chip wouldn't.

Would you?

Well, probably not.

Well, okay.

Hey, wait a minute.

Come on back here.

Now, what is it?

Maybe I would.

Be a tree so I can be a mushroom?

Sorry, I haven't got enough sap left.

But you're just down there in the forest
and all those mushrooms are around you.

Well, count me out.

I got bad roots.

Looks like it's going to be a pretty funny-looking forest.

Be a tree.

Sweetheart, what's the matter?

You said they were my true, honest brothers.

Chip and Ernie?

Of course they are.

What's wrong?

I asked them to be a tree and they wouldn't.

And Uncle Charley?

Uncle Charley wouldn't either.

Did they say why not?

They said they were busy.

Well, if they said they were busy, I'm sure they are.

Should I ask Daddy?

No, sweetheart.

That wouldn't be right.

Isn't he my daddy?

Well, yes, he's your daddy, but being
trees is for children.

He's a grown-up and, well, that'd embarrass him.

Uh-oh.

Sweetheart, even if they might not want to be a
tree, that doesn't mean that they don't love you.

I'm sure they do.

What will I tell the teacher and the kids?

Dodie, now you're a big girl now, and you
know that you can't have everything you want.

There's bound to be some disappointments.

That's part of growing up.

You go to sleep now, sweetheart.

Maybe.

Maybe things won't look so black in the morning.

Good night.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, and Dodie, she's a little upset.

Oh, what's wrong?

Oh, it's nothing important.

Well, if she's upset, it's important.

Well, you remember that little problem she had at lunch?

Oh, about the tree?

Well, she asked Chip and Ernie,
and they said they were busy.

Oh, they are.

I can't blame any grown boy.

I can't blame any boy for not wanting to
wear a tree outfit in a pageant for little children.

Well, maybe if I asked the boys.

Oh, no, no, honey.

It's all right.

I talked to her, and she understands.

She has to realize that everybody has disappointments.

That's part of growing up.

Yeah, I guess so.

What, uh, what does the tree have to do?

Well, nothing.

It just stands there.

It just stands there?

Doesn't have to talk or anything?

Not that I know of.

I'll be back in a minute.

Hey, Dodie, uh, Mama tells me you're looking for a tree.

Well, what kind of tree do you want?

Uh, poplar?

Maple?

Any kind.

Do you think I might be a good tree?

Daddy!

Hey!

Hey, not so fast.

Not so hard.

You'll bend my trunk.

And now for our closing presentation by the
girls of A2, we bring you our friends of the forest.

Brace yourself.

Here it comes.

I.

Shall never see a poem as pretty as a tree.

A tree that may in summer wear a nest of
Robins in her hair.

A pond whose bosom snow has lain, who inter...

who inter...

who inter...

Intimately.

Intimately.

Who intimately lives with rain.

The.

Oh, it was really nothing.

All I had to do was stand there with my
nest of Robins on my shoulder should have

been my hair but here comes the star of the show.

Thank you for you all guys coming well we
thought I ought to be handy in case dad

fainted or something sweetheart we've got
to get out of your mushroom costume

because mrs snell wants to lock up okay
see you in a minute daddy come on Katie

yeah see you in a minute yeah and I gotta go I
want to Get home before Chip and Ernie get there.

By the way, we can use you in our fireplace.

Well?

Well, what, Rob?

Well, I told you she was setting you up for a big one.

What do you mean?

Why, she maneuvered you.

Oh, do you think so?

Oh, definitely.

Well, maybe she did or maybe she didn't, Rob.

We'll never be sure, huh?

But I'll tell you something.

As long as there's love involved,
I wouldn't have it any other way.

Huh?

Yeah.

Well, come on.

Get me out of my roots here.

All right.