10x15 - Double Jealousy

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My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray and
his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

Dodie's having lunch in the cafeteria today.

I gave her some lunch money.

Oh, that must be Rob.

He's here early.

Steve, your ride's here.

Oh, dear.

What's Rob doing here this time of day?

He's picking Steve up.

Steve's car's being fixed, and I'm teaching
school across town, so I can't take him.

Well, I guess I'll have to get breakfast out of the plant.

Well, what's with Hopalong Douglas?

Oh, it's nothing, Charley.

Drive carefully, huh?

I will.

See you later.

Honey, be sure to have that foot looked at.

Yeah, I'll see the plant doctor.

Boy, dear.

Well, I'd better get going.

Uh-oh.

My purse.

Huh?

Oh.

There it is.

Thanks, Charley.

Bye-bye.

Wallets I can handle.

Purses are going to take a little getting used to.

Morning, Miss Rice.

Good morning, Mr. d'Artagnan.

Did you call for a technical secretary?

Yes, sir.

She's on her way.

Good.

I have about five hours of work to get out.

Mr. Douglas?

Yes?

I'm Maureen Morgan, the technical secretary.

Well, come in.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Now, you guys be good for Uncle Charley.

Mama will be right back after she has lunch with Daddy.

Lunch with Daddy?

Don't you think a wife should have lunch
with her husband once in a while?

Yeah, once in a while is all right,
but every nine minutes is too much.

Uncle Charley, I haven't been to the plant in two weeks.

You know, there's an old saying in the South Sea.

Oola nangalia.

Which means, wife should see husband only
in kitchen of hut.

Oh, you've been to the South Sea?

No, I know Charley O'Casey.

Goodbye.

Hey, you know, you guys got a smart mother.

Come on.

Hey, Charley, little Charley, come here.

Come here.

Now, Mr. Douglas, if you look in this
catalog, you'll find the tensile

properties on the high-strength aluminum alloys.

Oh, thank you, Miss Morgan.

Please.

Maureen, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, fine.

Maureen.

You know, you're a real gem, Maureen.

Maureen, if you weren't around here to
straighten me out, I'd be hours behind.

Hi, Rob.

Honey, what are you doing here?

Well, I thought we had a lunch date.

Is it that time already?

Wow.

Maureen Morgan, this is my wife, Mrs. Douglas.

How do you do?

Hello.

I'll put a check mark where we left off so
we'll know where to start when you get back.

Good thinking.

I hope I didn't interrupt anything.

Well, you wrecked a perfectly good session
on mental stress, if that makes you happy.

I'll also get the catalogs on the available
aluminum gauges while you're out to lunch, okay?

Good thinking, Maureen.

Nice to have met you, Mrs. Douglas.

Yes, thank you.

See you later.

Bye-bye.

Good thinking.

Good thinking.

Is that all you could say to her?

Good thinking isn't exactly an Indian love lyric.

It isn't exactly an insult, either.

You know, Katie, Katie, you've been bugging
me about Maureen ever since I got home.

You could at least call her Miss Morgan.

I was busy.

I was involved.

Involved?

Do you want me to tell you what you sound like?

No, I don't want you to tell me what I sound like.

Fine.

Aren't you going to tell me what I sound like?

Yeah, yeah, you sound like a... No.

I know.

A jealous wife.

Why do you tell a girl you hardly know that she's a gem?

There are other ways of complimenting a person.

True.

I could have told her she was a brilliant idiot.

Why don't we just drop it, okay?

You seem awfully anxious.

Oh, I'm never anxious to get out of a warm bed.

I don't mean that.

I mean to drop it.

I just want you to know I'm not one of
those people I know, honey.

Come on, fellas.

Let's get back to sleep.

Come on.

She did seem awfully familiar for someone you just met.

She's very efficient, that's all.

You know, I think his rash is worse.

Well, it doesn't look worse to me.

Rob, does leaning all over your desk come
under the heading of duties?

Katie, how else do you read something on the desk?

Oh, Rob.

Sometimes men can be so...

so... dumb.

That's what men can be, dumb.

Well, thank you.

I didn't mean you, Uncle Charley.

Katie, I think you're making too much of this, don't you?

Probably.

You know what they say about men getting
interested in older women?

No, what do they say?

Oh, you know.

They say, they've had more experience.

Yeah, well, I think you got a point there.

Katie, Rob only met her yesterday,
and I know how much you mean to him.

The thought of another woman is
ridiculous, don't you think?

Well, that's what Rob said.

I never thought I'd be the jealous wife type.

Oh, but that perfume of hers is overpowering.

A man wouldn't know what hit him.

Come on, eat the cake, you two.

And I don't want to hear any bilge about calories.

Jealousy's a terrible thing, isn't it, Katie?

Oh, there's nothing worse.

You know, on our honeymoon, a Latin-type
girl gave Steve the eye.

Well, he didn't notice, but I wanted to
slap her ears back right in the restaurant.

I'm getting out of here.

Serves you right if Robbie takes her
dancing during his coffee breaks.

No, that's okay, Barbara.

I'm over it.

Well, don't let a woman like Maureen bother you.

Just ignore it and rise above it.

Right.

You have to have a little faith in your husband.

Right.

And she is older.

What could they possibly have in common?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

And besides, Rob promised me that she
wouldn't be working with him anymore.

You mean some other executive is going to
get the shock of that perfume?

Yeah.

Here you are, Mr. Douglas.

This is the stress laboratory report on
the empennage test from last week.

Oh, thanks, Brie.

Well, the test specifications and description are
here, but I don't seem to find the lead and deflection data.

Oh, one of the girls is retyping it.

I caught a sentence missing when I proofread it.

I'll see if it's ready.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, and Dr. Turner called.

He has the results of the test on your foot.

You're to call him.

Well, I hope it's nothing serious.

I have to get this report out.

Don't you worry about the reports, Mr. Douglas.

I'll do everything I possibly can to make
it easier for you.

Well, that's nice, anyway.

Very nice.

Yeah?

Who knocks around here?

I do.

Oh, Barbara, come on in.

Charley, can I help you with dinner?

Thanks, but it's in the oven and Dodie will
set the table, at least as far as she can reach.

Why don't you come in and relax?

Charley, are you finally getting used to
having women around here?

Sure.

Oh, we broke in with Katie and then worked
up to you and Dodie.

You know, to tell you the truth, it's a relief to have silk
stockings and perfume around after all those sweatshirts.

I'm glad.

I was getting kind of worried.

I mean, you know, this has been a
bachelor's private club for a long time.

Yeah, well, everything changes.

You got to roll with the punches.

But sometimes the changes are a little hard to live with.

Like what?

Well, like jealousy.

I mean, Katie walks in and finds Robbie
talking to a beautiful secretary and wham.

Right.

I mean, jealousy was something you never
had to put up with before.

Now we don't have to worry about it now.

You know, Barbara, you're a great gal.

And the way I see it, if you found Steve
with a gorgeous gal, you'd walk up to him

and say, how many words a minute does she type?

I would.

Sure.

You know, jealousy is for kids.

Yeah.

You don't have to set a place for Chip and Ernie, honey.

They're not going to be home for dinner.

Does that mean I can have extra dessert?

Well, we'll see.

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi.

Hello, Dodie.

Hi, Daddy.

How's the foot?

Well, it's not too bad.

What did you do to your foot, Daddy?

Well, I didn't do anything to it, Dodie.

It's a, well, it's a disease.

A disease?

Who's got a disease?

Daddy!

Well, it's nothing too serious, Charley, but the
doctor thought I ought to go to bed for a couple of days.

Well, what is it?

Well, it's just, uh, it's nothing to worry about.

I mean, it's a... Oh, you really are in pain.

Well, it's, it's nothing.

Yeah, well, it must be pretty serious or
you wouldn't have to go to bed.

Now, look, Steve, you can tell us.

We can take it.

Well, it's, uh, it's God's... Doubt.

Oh, now, there's got to be a mistake.

You couldn't have doubt.

That's what I've got.

You're not a carouser.

What's a carouser, Uncle Charley?

I'm telling you, you couldn't have it.

You gotta be rich to have doubt.

That's an old wives' tale, Charley.

It has nothing to do with being rich.

It has to do with diet.

That's right.

Look, if it was me, I'd see another doctor.

Now, look, Steve, I never heard of anybody
having to go to bed with gout.

Charley, Dr. Turner is a very good doctor.

He's been with the plant for years,
and I have complete faith in his diagnosis.

And I wish you'd stop trying to make having
gout sound like some sort of disgrace or something.

Why don't you have dinner in bed?

I'll bring you a tray.

I think I will.

Come on, I'll help you.

Toe feels a lot better with the shoe off, I'll tell you.

Toe?

The way you've been acting, I thought you
had gout up to your neck.

It's my big toe, Charley.

That's different.

I just telephoned, dear, and they're
sending a secretary right over.

Oh, good.

I've got a lot of work to do here.

Well, I'm going to see if I can help Charley, and
then I'll make some lunch for you and your secretary.

If you need anything, you just call.

Fine.

I'm sorry about the reason, but it is nice
to have you home.

What are you doing home?

Mama said, you could come home for lunch today.

Dodie, your lunch is all ready, but I didn't know
you were going to bring Sharon home with you.

Well, yeah, she decided to come.

Well, fine.

I'll fix her a sandwich, too.

Thank you.

I'm allergic to jelly.

Well, I'll keep that in mind.

Hey, where are you two going?

Sharon's never seen a disease before.

Well, Sharon, you're in for a real experience.

Okay.

Come on, Sharon.

My daddy's up in his bedroom.

Yes?

Can I come in, Daddy?

Oh, yeah, come on in, Dodie.

I thought you were supposed to be at
school this time of day.

Mommy gave me permission to come home for lunch to see you.

Well, that was very thoughtful.

This is Sharon.

Hello, Sharon.

She came to see your toe.

She came to see...

Oh!

I don't think she wants to see my toe.

Are you going to stick it out,
or do I have to pull the covers off?

Oh, Dodie, that would be pretty silly, wouldn't it?

I mean, after all, one person's toe is
pretty much like anybody else's.

Please.

Oh, it's just a toe, Dodie.

I promised her.

I owe her a favor.

Oh, I see.

Well, I guess I can stick it out for a minute.

All right.

You promised.

I promised not to touch it.

Here's its...

You can stick it back in now, Daddy.

Oh, thank you.

She says I still owe her a favor.

Oh.

She says her daddy's toe is bigger and
worse looking than yours, and he's not even sick.

Oh.

I guess you can't win them all, can you, Daddy?

No, it isn't.

Yes?

I'm Maureen Morgan.

I'm here to help Mr. Douglas.

Well, you sure ain't gonna do him any harm.

Thank you.

Is Mr. Douglas in his room?

Oh, sure.

It's right up these steps.

It's the first door to your right.

I'll show you.

Oh, no, please.

Please, I'm sure you have more important things to do.

I can find my way.

Like I said, it's the first door to the right.

I'll tell Mrs. Douglas you're here.

Thank you so much.

If I get sick in bed, they send Ernie in
with some cold soup.

Was that Steve's secretary at the door?

It sure wasn't King Kong.

Well, I fixed him some lunch.

I better take it up before they get too involved.

Yeah, I'd do that if I were you, Barbara.

Lean.

Forward now, Mr. Dean.

Okay.

I'll tell him to fluff it up for you.

Oh, hi, Ernie.

Lunch already, huh?

Hi.

Steve, I haven't met your secretary.

Oh, didn't you meet downstairs?

Oh, this is Maureen Morgan.

And, Maureen, this is Mrs. Douglas.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Do you feel better now, Mr. Dean?

Oh, that's much better.

Thank you, Maureen.

Well, I made some lunch for both of you.

Oh, how thoughtful of you.

We've got to get this man back on his feet
now, don't we, Mrs. Douglas?

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, I see you checked the diet list.

Now, I told you the doctor would get it here on time.

That's right, you did, Maureen.

Here, let me tuck this in for you, Mr. Dean.

Won't you stay and have lunch with us, Mrs. Douglas?

Oh, no, no.

I hope you won't find the food too bland.

Mr. Douglas isn't allowed to have any red
meat or gravy or spices.

Oh, poor Mr. D.

Yes, poor Mr. D.

Well, if you... If you want me for anything, you just call.

Oh, we'll be fine.

Yes, yes, we'll be fine.

Thank you very much.

Carol, it doesn't look so awful, does it?

Yes, it does.

Poor Mr. D.

Oh, we'll be fine.

Could you say something?

What?

Oh, no, it's nothing, Charley.

After all, what did she say that was so wrong?

Poor Mr. D.

Poor Mr. D.

Isn't exactly darling.

I see you got the diet.

Isn't exactly what Elizabeth Baird
Browning might have said.

Elizabeth who?

What?

Look, if you're talking to the walls, that's okay.

But if you're talking to me, would you
please talk a little louder?

I'm sorry, Charley.

I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm taking this upstairs.

Steve has his lunch.

Who cares about Steve?

I want to get another look at him.

Her.

I brought some papers from the plant to go over with Dad.

Is he okay?

Well, I think so.

But you'll have to ask his secretary,
Miss, um, something or other.

She's up there, too.

Oh, boy.

What does that mean?

It means you two... Me two what?

Green-eyed monster?

Jealous?

Jealous?

Oh, of course not.

I mean, she's young and beautiful, and she moves
in like she's the wife, and I'm the secretary, and...

What makes you think I'm jealous?

Because when Maureen was assigned to me,
Katie got sore when she heard me saying good thinking.

I don't know what it is about Maureen that irritates women.

It's just plain pollen.

Pollen?

Like with bees?

She puts out more pollen than a magnolia.

And the bees make a beeline.

Well, maybe so, but a magnolia doesn't
know it's putting out pollen.

And neither does Maureen.

Well, I think I'll just buzz on upstairs.

Sorry.

Poor Stevie has no idea how furious that woman made me.

If she was only in your house for one day.

True, but she still works at the plant.

And I may see her today when Steve takes me to lunch.

But he did ask you to lunch, and it's his
first day back at the plant.

Doesn't that say something?

Well, all of it says something,
but none of it makes any sense.

To think that I, sensible Barbara, newlywed,
teacher, mother, should actually turn into a jealous wife.

You're too smart to let a woman like Maureen bother you.

Well, rise above.

Rise above it.

Ignore it.

Touché.

Hello, Mrs. Douglas.

Hello, Janice.

Is Mr. Douglas in?

He's still at his meeting, but he called
and he'll be back in a minute.

Oh.

Well, um, I'll go freshen up a bit.

Maureen?

Are you crying?

Mrs. Douglas, it's happened again.

What's happened again?

I'm being transferred to the other plant
all the way across town.

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to tell my little girl.

I didn't know you had a little girl.

You know, Patty's been so happy here.

She's made so many new friends,
and this is the third time this year.

How can I make her understand when I don't
even understand it myself?

Well, um, maybe I can help.

Could you?

Maybe if Mr. D spoke to Tom.

Tom?

You mean Tom Grazer, the vice president?

Yes.

You know, I just don't understand it.

Tom seems so pleased with my work.

But just last night, I helped him with a special
report in his home, and he said I did an excellent job.

Um, you didn't by any chance meet Tom's wife, did you?

Yes, she brought us some coffee.

Laurie, do you realize that you're a very beautiful woman?

Oh, look, the only thing I'm truly
interested in is being a good secretary.

Well, Steve says that you're the most
efficient technical secretary that he's ever had.

Then what's wrong?

What if I give you a few tips?

Will you promise to take them in the
spirit that they're given?

Of course.

Anything.

Well, you.

All set for lunch, Barbara?

All set.

Good.

Oh, uh, Maureen, Mr. Hendricks is very
pleased with that report.

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that, Mr. D.

Mr. Douglas.

I hope that you and Mrs. Douglas have a very nice lunch.

Oh, thanks, Maureen.

Thank you.

And now, Mr. D., how do you feel about taking me along?

I'm delighted.

And starving.

Wonderful dinner, Barbara.

It's nice having you.

Dad, does this look like a seven or a one to you here?

Looks like a seven to me.

I'm surprised these prints came through in this.

Who did?

Oh, well, these are old ones.

I'm going to have Maureen run some new ones off tomorrow.

Good.

Isn't it great she didn't get transferred?

Great.

Break something?

Uh, yes, dear, but we're very good at
putting the pieces back together.