10x17 - Who Is Sylvia?

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

Come on, kids.

Hey, are you two going to start off your
vacation with a beef?

No, it isn't a beef, Uncle Charley.

Yeah, well, what's wrong with Katie?

Uncle Charley.

Katie, what's wrong?

Well, if you'll ask me, Katie doesn't want
to go to Mexico and leave her kids here.

Well, we're taking the plane, and you'll thank me later.

Now, take it easy, Katie.

You ain't exactly dropping your kids on
somebody's snowy doorstep.

Katie.

Now, you know we'll take good care of them.

Sure, the little bums will love a week
with good old Uncle Charley.

You ever get the feeling you're cheering somebody down?

Look at these kids.

They have more equipment than the wriggling brothers.

Honey, relax.

Everything is going to be fine.

Uncle Charley, who's taking us to the airport?

Me, Chip, Ernie, and Dodie.

You think she'll make it?

Katie, Mexico will be so much fun,
and the boys won't be any trouble for us.

Yeah, and Dodie's tonsils are better,
so you won't have germs that bug you.

I know it.

I'm going to have a week with nothing to
do, lie in the sun, and shop in Mexico.

Well, I guess Katie and Robbie are in Mexico by now.

Yeah.

Sorry you missed the big scene at the airport, Barbara.

Tourists in funny shirts and hats and cameras
and jokes and happy faces all over the place.

Except for the two people crying.

Two people crying?

Yeah.

A little boy who spilled root beer on his mother.

And Katie.

I'm a doorbell monitor.

Barbara, I want to ask you something,
and I want you to level with me.

Of course I will.

What is it?

Now, forget the wrinkles, and, uh...

Tell me.

Who does this guy look like?

It's.

An amazing resemblance.

Did you hear that?

You're gonna be a good-looking little guy.

A little rascal, you.

Hello, Doctor.

Well, hello, Dodie.

How are you?

Fine.

The triplets are here.

Yes, I know, dear.

Katie called me seven times about it.

Are you here to sh**t us?

Anybody?

No, no, not tonight.

I just want to take a look at those tonsils.

They're weller.

Really?

Open up wide.

Ah.

Ah-ha.

Aren't they weller?

They're in perfect shape, dear.

Well, hello, Doctor.

Hi.

Well, if it ain't the king of the tongue, dear precious.

You here on official business or just goofing around?

Now, I want to take a look at Dodie's tonsils.

Oh, everything is in order for the party we discussed.

Why, is somebody throwing a party?

Oh, you know the kind of party,
Charley, the kind they have in the hospitals.

Can I go?

Well, of course you can, Dodie.

In fact, it's in your honor.

Oh, I get it.

So do I, and I'm not going.

Dodie.

Nuh-uh.

They're going to cut off my tonsils.

Now, you won't feel a thing, Dodie.

You'll be sound asleep.

People reaching to my throat when I'm asleep wakes me.

Honey, how would it be if Mommy came and
spent the night with you?

That can be arranged, can't it?

Well, it happens all the time.

Well, what time is this party coming off?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Oh, so soon?

Well, hospital vets are hard to come by.

We have to take them when we can get them.

Well, I know, but...

Well, maybe we'd better postpone it.

See, I'm watching the triplets, and I could... Well,
now, look, there's no sweat in that department, Barbara.

I'll look after them.

Thanks a lot, Uncle Charley.

Sweetheart, do you know that
when a little girl has her tonsils

out, that she can have any flavor ice cream that she wants?

Any flavor?

Absolutely.

In the whole world?

In the whole world.

Then that means it's really gonna hurt.

Honey, when you come home late from work,
you're just going to have to expect a lot of big decisions.

Well, Barb, I just think that,
uh... Well, if Dr. Conlon says...

Because hospital beds are so hard to come by,
and he can get one now... But Dodie's so scared.

Even when I told her I'd spend the night in
the hospital with her, it didn't seem to help.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

I heard a low voice, so I knew you were home, Daddy.

Oh, you did, huh?

Uh, Dodie, your mommy and I were just
talking about your little trip to the hospital.

That's what Myrtle and me wanted to talk about.

Oh, well, you and Myrtle go right ahead.

Mama?

Myrtle wants to know if I can talk to Daddy alone.

Oh.

Um, well, Myrtle, I'll go upstairs and do some sewing.

Well, now, what's on your mind, Dodie?

Oh, I'm sorry, Myrtle, what's on your mind?

Her knees are shaking.

Oh, they are?

Uh, any special reason?

You know, I don't know.

I don't know, Dad.

The hospital.

Oh, I see.

She's just like Mama.

She's scared of spiders and mouses and icky stuff.

Well, you tell Myrtle she shouldn't be scared because
your Mommy will be right there with her all the time.

She already knows that.

You mean she wouldn't feel safe even though Mommy's there?

Myrtle wants to know if you could stay
with us at the you-know-where.

If I could?

Uh, well, Dodie, uh, it's usually your
mother who should stay.

She's saying please.

All right, Dodie, uh, you tell Myrtle that, uh, it's very

nice of her to want me and,
uh, I'll be glad to stay with her.

Look, she's smiling.

How about that?

Oh, hi.

Oh, well, how did your private conversation go?

Oh, uh, fine, fine.

The, uh, boys give you any trouble?

No, they were as good as gold.

Oh, what did you two talk about?

Oh, uh, well, we talked about Myrtle mostly.

Myrtle?

Now, did you know Myrtle's a very timid puppet?

No.

But I do know a mother who's dying of curiosity.

What did she say to you?

Well, she said, uh, is it true you're afraid
of spiders and mouses and icky stuff?

Yes.

Of course it is.

Just like any other sensible woman.

Honey, are you beating around the bush?

Yeah.

You see, Barbara, this is a little
difficult to tell you, but, uh,

well, it seems Dodie would rather have me
stay at the hospital than you.

Now, honey, it isn't that she's rejecting you exactly.

Well, of course it is.

And she's accepting you.

Can I?

Yes, sir.

El Gruvo.

Honey, didn't I tell you you'd relax?

Mm-hmm.

It's wonderful.

Isn't it amazing what a change of scene
can do for your outlook?

Oh, Rob, look.

She brought her baby.

Why couldn't we bring ours?

Katie, you said we wouldn't talk about home.

I know.

Well, I hope they're all right.

They're fine, honey.

Come on.

Katie, let's go.

And this is your room, Miss Douglas.

Well, it's a nice room, isn't it, Dodie?

Hospital smells scary.

Perhaps I should take your little friend.

I'm a little scared.

Well, maybe in that case you'd better stay with her
so you can tell her there's nothing to be frightened of.

Thank you.

How come Daddy isn't here?

Oh, honey, he'll be here soon.

That's the part that seems forever.

Oh.

Oh, well.

Well, come on, the game's over.

Come on.

Let's put him in the pen.

Maybe they'll go to sleep, huh?

Come on, girl.

Yeah.

Let's take your two little things.

Take your one.

Yes.

Yes.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

True, it would be neat to be young again.

You're not exactly over the hill, Junior.

Yeah, but their lives aren't so hung up with problems.

What's so tough about the life you got?

Are you kidding?

I owe a $4 library fine.

Brenda Ratterman thinks I've got a dumb face.

I forgot the combination to my gym locker.

Hey, wait a minute, Ernie.

You better take a look at little Charley.

See if he looks a little weird.

Careful how you answer that.

That kid bears a strong resemblance to yours truly.

Yeah, I think he does look a little weird, Chip.

What are you trying to start, Chip?

There's nothing wrong with those kids.

They're the picture of health.

I guess you're right, Uncle Charley.

Oh, look at him.

Huh?

Those kids are the picture of health.

So.

Is the back of the shirt up.

Honey, hospital g*ns are made that way.

I wonder what's keeping Dad, eh?

Maybe he's got scared and he's not coming.

Or maybe he's at home.

Or maybe he's at home watching TV and not even caring.

Oh, sweetheart.

Thank you, nurse.

Steve!

Daddy, what happened?

Well, I was late leaving the office, so I ran down
the stairs to the parking lot and I missed the last step.

Did you break it?

No, no.

The doctor at the plant took a quick X-ray and it's just
a sprain, but he thought I'd better use these for a while.

Did you cry?

No, Dodie, I was very brave.

Oh, Steve.

Now, honey, don't worry, it's just a sprain.

Luckily, it was my left foot, so I could still drive.

Well, then you can't stay here tonight.

Well, I can't think of a better place to
rest a foot than in a hospital, can you?

I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over.

Orthopedic patients belong on the fourth floor, sir.

Oh, I'm not a patient.

I'm Mr. Douglas.

I'm going to spend the night with my little daughter.

Oh, with a broken leg?

Well, it's just a sprain.

Oh, I see.

Well, then, Mrs. Douglas, I'm afraid it's
time for you to go.

Oh, all right.

Well, now, Dodie, you be a good girl for Daddy.

And tomorrow, it'll be all over.

Who will be all over?

Uh, Dodie, Mommy just means your tonsils
will be all gone in the morning.

And then you'll be finished.

What do you mean, finished?

I'm only seven.

Um, Barbara, we'll get along just fine.

Okay.

Goodbye, love.

Goodbye.

You, uh, you sure now that you'll be okay?

Ah, we'll be fine.

Okay.

Don't worry.

Bye-bye.

Good luck.

Bye, Mama.

You know what, Daddy?

What, honey?

I'm sure glad you're here, because I would be scared.

Well, I'm glad I'm here, too.

I probably got you out here on a false alarm, Doc.

It's all right, Charley.

I'm glad I had a look.

Yeah, well, I don't want you to think that I'm the kind
of a guy that comes unglued every time a kid coughs.

But look, I can't make a diagnosis, so I called in a pro.

Now, tell me, do these kids look weird?

Well, I could get technical, Charley,
but in layman's terms, the kids look weird.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Let's not watch cartoons anymore, okay, Daddy?

Okay, honey.

Might be better if you just stayed quiet for a while.

Hi, there.

It's fun time.

There must be a purse bed.

And it's me, the welcome lady.

And I'm Bernardo the dog.

And what is your name?

And why are you in the hospital?

My name's Dodie Douglas, and I'm in the
hospital because I'm going to get my tonsils cut out.

Well, now, don't you worry, because tonsils
are the easiest things for a doctor to take out.

And everybody gets better right away.

Isn't that right, Bernardo?

Right.

And who are you?

Are you Dodie's daddy or Dodie's mommy?

I'm Dodie's daddy.

Well, that's good, because your voice is
too low for a mommy.

Hey, you got a broken leg.

No, it's only a strain.

Well, I'm going to bite your nose,
and I'm never going to let go.

Daddy, he's got your nose.

Yes, he sure has, and you can let go now, Bernardo.

Well, Bernardo and I have to go now.

Goodbye, Dodie.

Goodbye, Daddy.

Goodbye, Dodie.

Bye, Bernardo.

Bye-bye.

I hope Bernardo and the welcome lady come back again.

Yes, I do too, Dodie.

Now, now, why don't you lie down here and
try to get some sleep, huh?

Okay, Daddy.

Hello.

Let's see.

Dodie Douglas, don't select me tomorrow morning.

How do you feel, Dodie?

Scared.

Oh, now, don't you worry.

I'm going to give you a nice little pill
that'll make you very sleepy.

Water?

Now, you just slide down.

You'll be asleep before you know it.

Good girl.

Now, then.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but orthopedic
patients, you must belong on the fourth floor.

I'm not a patient.

I'm Dodie's father, and I'm going to spend
the night here with her.

With a broken leg?

It's just a sprain.

Oh, I see.

Well, on this floor, I'm afraid it's bedtime.

Do you have your pajamas?

Yes, I have my pajamas and my toothbrush
and my Roman slippers, but it's always 7.30.

I thought I'd turn on the TV softly, maybe.

On this floor, there's no TV after 7.30.

Oh.

Well, is there anything to read around here?

On this floor, the reading matter is mostly Mother Goose.

Well, I, uh, I guess I'll pass.

Good night.

Good night.

Daddy, you want me to teach you some songs?

All right, Dodie.

Little Sally, won't you?

Is my friend.

Boy.

Can you think of a better way than this to unwind?

Mm.

No, it's great.

All we have to do is relax and not worry about the babies.

Rob, how do we know how the boys are?

We're, we're miles from home, and, and,
and we're in the middle of a foreign country.

Honey, calm down.

The, the boys are just fine.

Oh, man.

Where are you going?

Well, I just thought I'd go out and see if
I could find something to read.

You see, it's only a little after 8,
and, uh, well, I'm not sleepy,

and there seems to be a rule about no TV around here.

Do you have a broken foot?

Oh, no, no.

It's just a sprain.

Oh, that'll be the fourth floor, dear.

I'm not a patient.

I'm the father of the little girl in this room.

Oh.

Uh, could you find me something to read?

How does Peter Rabbit grab you?

I have nothing against Peter, but, uh, couldn't
you maybe find something a little more adult?

I'll see what I can do, but you'll have to
get right back into that bed.

Yes, ma'am.

I'll be right back.

Hiya, Steve.

Don't worry, there's nothing seriously wrong with the kids.

Charley?

Oh, hi, Dad.

I guess Uncle Charley already told you why we're here.

Chip?

Chip?

Hi, Dad.

How's Dodie?

Oh, fine.

But what's going on with the babies?

Don't worry.

They're off in the hospital.

I'll be right back.

But, Barbara?

Barbara?

Steve, what's wrong with your foot?

Oh, hi, Dr. Conlon.

It's nothing serious, just a sprain.

Tell me, what's wrong with the triplets?

Oh, just a respiratory congestion.

I could have treated them at home, but
with three children and the mother away.

Well, it's just a question of keeping
expert eyes on them for a day or two.

Could I see them?

You better not now, Steve, no.

I'm gonna send the whole family home and
then put the babies in a separate nursery.

Is there anything I should do?

Well, Dodie's tonsils come out pretty early in the morning.

I suggest you get some sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Excuse me, but you must have the wrong room.

Orthopedic patients are on the fourth floor.

Nurse, Dr. Conlon just went around the corner.

Now, if you'll catch him, he'll explain
the whole thing to you.

I don't think I can go through it again.

Barbara.

Oh, darling.

Where's Dodie?

Well, she's, uh, she's up in surgery now.

Oh, well, why didn't somebody wake me up?

Oh, well, I didn't have the heart to.

And besides, there's no reason for both of us to worry.

Well, uh...

Well, it's all over, and Dodie's fine.

Oh, good.

She'll be waking up in a few minutes, but I
don't think she'll be doing much talking right away.

Oh, Doctor, I'm so glad it's over.

It's all right.

Now, tell me, Doctor, when can we take her home?

Well, I'd like to keep her overnight just to be
on the safe side, then she and the boys can go.

She can go home tomorrow.

Oh, fine.

I'll be stopping by the house in a couple
of days to check on the whole g*ng.

Bye.

Goodbye, Doctor.

Bye.

Well, did you have a good rest?

Well, I've had better.

Frankly, I'll be glad to get out of here.

Oh, really?

Why?

Well...

Your daughter will be down in just a few minutes.

Aren't you supposed to be on the fourth floor?

That's where they treat all bone injuries.

Yeah, that's why.

If they're worried about me down there,
will you tell them I'll be right back?

Of course.

The fourth floor?

Uh, it's a long story.

I'm glad.

When Robbie and Katie get back so I can get some sleep.

You want to be an uncle?

Mama, my throat's k*lling me.

Dodie, your tonsils have been out for almost a week.

Well, isn't anybody gonna notice?

Well, look who's here.

Look, Ma, no crutches.

Hey, well, yes, they are.

What do you mean, sweetie?

Still limping a little.

Well, we all ought to be glad this week's behind us.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Robbie.

We're nothing but a raider.

What are you doing home?

We got home early, and we just couldn't
wait, so we took a cab.

Oh, I am so glad to be home.

The babies are upstairs, and they're fine.

Oh, I can't wait to see them.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, I'll go with you.

Dad, how'd everything go?

Uh, remarkably.

Remarkably?

You wouldn't want to clarify that.

Well, let's just leave it at remarkably.

I don't know what I was worrying about.

They look great.

I can't wait to get you home.

I'll bet you've all grown two inches.

Besides, what could have happened?

I could have had my tonsils out, that's what.

But you're fine now, aren't you, darling?