01x28 - Park Pandemonium/Cricket's Biscuits

[bunniefuu]

[theme song plays]

♪ One, two
One, two, three ♪

[vocalizing]

What a perfect day
to spend at the park.

-Cricket! Cricket!
-Aah!

Get the doctor
on speed dial, Dad,

because I am gonna play
hardcore!

[laughing]

Like I was saying,

it's a perfect day
at the park

to do gramma activities
with my gramma!

What's that, now?

Oh, she's got a full day
planned for you, Ma.

-We're gonna feed the duckies...
-Duckies?

-and stroll around
with parasols...
-Parasols?

And then we'll rub lotion
on each other's aching feet.

Tilly, what is that?
A list of the lamest
stuff ever?

I came to the park
to do one thing

and one thing only--

sit on my butt
and stare at this pothole.

You'd rather look at a hole
than play with me?

Shh!

-Whoa, whoa! [grunts]
-Ha-ha!

I'm not leaving
this bench.

Gramma's being quite
the prickly pear.

Well, that won't stop me
from having

-a day of gramma activities.
-[laughing] Ooh!

Making that pothole was
the best thing I ever did.

Oh, Wyatt, you've finally
finished your masterpiece--

a groundbreaking experiment
in playground equipment.

Foam, sweet foam.

Oh, save some fun
for the children, Wyatt.

[laughing] Yeah!

Welcome to
my playground...

Little boy,
the playground's over here.

Huh?
That thing's a playground?

Well, it's a new
kind of playground.

It's safe,
and that makes it fun.

Looks boring!

Trees are
nature's playground!

-What a curious little boy.
-[child laughing]

No matter.
Here comes another one now!

Whee! Oh.

Suddenly I don't feel
like playing anymore.

I unveil a new playground,

and the children want
nothing to do with it.

Hey, hey!
Little boy!

Huh? You again?
You're so boring!

I think you're
exactly right.
I am boring.

Do you think you could
teach me about this "fun"?

You need a "fun"
teacher, huh?

Well, you came
to the right guy.

[yawns]

Time for some quality
Bill time.

Huh? A Whisbee?

-Anyone lose a flying disc?
-Right here, man!

Hey, man,
toss it back!

Wow, those are
some cool dudes.

Okay, Bill,
don't mess this up.

Get ready. It's coming
right back atcha, boys!

[grunts]

That one doesn't count!
do-over!

Oh boy, Bill,
the pressure is on!

Here... goes... nothing.

[grunts] Oh, no.

Uh, dude, it's cool.

Yeah, you just let us know
when you figure that out.

Oh, uh, okay, guys!
I'll let you know!

-[shouts, grunts]
-Ooh!

And another one
bites the dust.

[laughing]

-Hello.
-What the heck?

Old Gramma,
say hello to New Gramma.

Because you won't do
gramma stuff with me,

I've replaced you
with Phyllis.

I always keep
an extra fig in my shoe.

I see.
Sounds real fun.

Phyllis, you make me
so much happier

than my old Gramma.

Well, I don't care.

Okay, Wyatt, fun lessons
are now in session.

I will show you...
the way of the fun.

Yes, please!
[gasps]

-I win! Rule number one:
life is a game.
-What?

Rule number two:
anything can be a sword.

-Fight me, ya dirty dog!
[exclaiming]
-[gasping]

-Okay, now you try.
-Oh, okay. Arr.

-m*rder! Blech!
-Wait, what?

-Did that man just
knock out that little boy?
-What? No!

And now, for my third
and final lesson.

-Arms up.
-Arms up.

-Legs apart.
-Legs apart.

-And... cartwheel!
-[exclaiming, groaning]

[groans]

[laughing]

I feel so much pain,

and yet
that was so much fun!

Exactly.
That's why that playground
you made was super boring--

-because you removed
the risk of getting hurt.
-[gasps]

What if we teamed up
and designed a new playground?

One with danger.
And risk.

We'll design
the best playground ever!

[grunting]

O-Okay, fellas.
Third time's the charm.

Oh, hey, look.
It's that sweaty guy
from earlier.

Bill, don't make
a fool of yourself!

[grunts]

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Bro, come on!

[awkward chuckle]
Guess I don't know
my own strength.

Uh, let me just get that.

Tilly don't need me
to have fun,

and I don't
need her either.

Now, where was I?

Oh, what a wonderful day
for a scoot!

This oughta be good!

[Tilly laughing]

Don't mind us.
We're just super happy
over here.

Will you keep it down?
You're gonna make me miss the...

Ow! Officer down!
Officer down!

No!

Make sure you capture
how happy we are.

Hey, Old Gramma.

New Gramma and I were just
getting our caricatures done.

Weren't we, New Gramma?

Father always made time
for supper.

Yeah, well, I just
came over here to say

you made your dang point--
I will play with you.

-R-Really? You will?
-As long as we don't have to do

any of that lame stuff
you were talking about earlier.

All right, yeah, never mind.
I'm stickin' with Phyllis.

What? You may not think
you're replaceable,

but you are,
Tilly Green!

-You are!
-Yeah, good luck.

There are a million grammas
but only one Tilly.

-Wa-hoo!
-We did it!

Okay, New Gramma Phyllis,
we're going paddle-boating.

-Are we going to the zoo?
-No, we're going paddle-boating.

Oh, I love the zoo!

Okay, well, um, onward!

Oh, my gosh!
Tilly, is that you?

Yes, it clearly is.
What is it?

I just didn't want you
to take off

before you met my new
little granddaughter,

whose name is,
I wanna say...

-Sparkles.
-It's Rochelle.

She said she'd pay me $15
to be her granddaughter.

Ha-ha-ha!
[whispering]
Now it's 10.

Ooh, we got
our caricatures done too.

Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, wow. A monster truck.
That's not cool.

Dang it, who am I kiddin'?
Yes, it is!

See ya later,
Old Granddaughter.

Old Granddaughter?
[seethes] That does it!

-Ah!
-[laughing] Phyllis just told me
the funniest joke

about a chicken
crossin' a road.

-It was so funny!
-[exclaims]

Did I make an oopsie?

You just don't get it, girl!
[shouts]

Oh! Come on, Whisbee,
where are ya?

[gasps] Yes!
Good news, new friends!

The fun is not over yet!

Look, it's really okay.
Just don't worry about it.

It's getting late.
We're gonna go ahead
and get out of here.

[gasps] No!

All right, Bill,
this is your last chance.

Introducing
the most fun playground

ever built of all time!

-We've minimized safety...
-To maximize fun!

-Welcome to Fun-Topia!
-[all gasp]

♪ Come with me
Little boy ♪

♪ And live the magical
Dream of fun ♪

♪ There's no rules
to tell you "no" ♪

♪ Not a single one ♪

-♪ Danger ♪
-♪ Sharp edges ♪

♪ And a rusty screw ♪

♪ It's a risky paradise ♪

♪ There's big holes
To fall into ♪

♪ And a slide ♪

It's kinda shaky.

♪ We know ♪

You've been a jerk
to me all day!

Well, I could say
the same about you!

-Let's finish this!
-With pleasure!

[both exclaiming]

Okay, Bill,
it's time to prove

you can impress
a couple of cool dudes

and throw this Whisbee!

Hee-yah!

-Whoa!
-Bill, what did you do?

-[squawks]
-Jimmy!

All right! Huh?

[gasps, screams]

[gasps]

[all exclaiming]

-Oh, boy.
-Is this your sick idea of fun?

Where's my son
supposed to play now?

[all complaining]

Wyatt, what do we do?
Wyatt?

I was merely a pawn
in the child's scheme!

-He's the mastermind!
-After him!

Ah, beans.

[gasping]

[growling]

Listen lady,
I didn't sign up for this.

I got my whole life
ahead of me!

Obviously, your granddaughter
cares about you.

-Why would she go through
all this trouble if she didn't?
-Huh?

Oh, my gosh, you're right.
We gotta stop this thing!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[all screaming]

-[panting]
-[shouting]

Aah! Stop chasin' me!

I didn't mean to
ruin your playground.

I was just trying
to improve it.

Well, you ruined it!
And now we're gonna ruin you!

Oh, they can climb,
they can climb!
[exclaims]

I just wanted to make that
boring playground as fun as...

as fun as trees.
[gasps] That's it!

Stop!
Look around you.

We don't need a playground
to have fun.

Trees are
nature's playground.

Look at all of us up here
like a bunch of

-ring-tailed lemurs.
-[laughs]

Who's Daddy's little
ring-tailed lemur?

That's the spirit!
Hooray for trees!

Whoa-oa!
[groans] I'm okay.

Hey, wait!
You don't have to leave!
I'll get your Whisbee!

No, really, dude,
it's okay.

-Don't worry about it.
-[both] Hey!

[gasps]

Nice throw, dude.

Yes! Ye-e-s!

[gasps] Tilly!

Oh, goodness,
there you are, Tilly.

-What do you want?
-Tilly, I'm sorry.

I don't blame you
for replacing me.

It's not that I don't
want to play with you.

I just don't want to do stuff

that makes me feel
like an old lady.

I don't think
of myself as an old lady,
and I don't want to.

Really? I didn't even
think about that.

I just like to do stuff
that old ladies

also like to do, I guess.

Well, I suppose I could
put aside my pride

and play with
my granddaughter.

Doesn't hurt
that you're cute too.

Ooh! Come here!

Yeah, the water
isn't deep at all.

I took this 20
from your pocket.

Phyllis and I are gonna
go get ice cream

and try to forget
about... all this.

-That was weird, wasn't it?
-Kiddo, you have no idea.

-Do you wanna feed the duckies?
-Yeah, sure.

Here ya go,
little babies.

Ooh, this one's
flappin' at me.
What's that mean?

-It means he likes you.
-Really?

Nah,
he's just hungry.

-[kids whooping]
-Hey, Cricket, Tilly!

-What are y'all doin'?
-[whooping]

We are livin', Papa!

Faster, Tilly!
quit holdin' back!

That thing ain't a toy.

You're gonna hit a tree
if you're not careful!

What'd you say, Dad?

[both groaning]

I'm comin', I'm comin'.

Now, who wants peas
and who wants carrots?

[both, weakly] Peas.

-You can't both have peas.
-[Gramma] Goodness goblins.

Is that my grandchildren
or just road k*ll?

Gramma, is that you?

Gramma,
we're in pain!

Well, that'll teach you
to mess with the tractor.

Ow. Ow.

Huh. You're not playin',
are ya?

[inhales] All right,
let Gramma handle this.

Y'all sit tight.
I know just what to do.

[both, weakly] Peas.

Oh! There's just
one bag!

Lightly. Lightly.
Ow, ow, ow!

Sweetie, I didn't
even touch you!

[sniffs] What is
that delicious aroma?

Huh? I smell it too.
It's coming from the kitchen.

[sniffs, gasps]
Could it be?

[Bill] Feel-better
butter biscuits!

Come and get 'em!

I'll be darned.

Ma hasn't made these
in years!

Shh! Don't think.
Just eat.

[both sighing contentedly]

-More, please!
-Help yourselves, sweeties.

I still remember
when you made me
feel-better biscuits.

Well you're gonna have
to keep remembering.

This ain't about you.
Now, how y'all feelin'?

-So much better.
-Mm-hmm!

Good. And what do we say?

-Thanks, Gramma!
-Aw, little sugar and spice.

Now, get outta here,
ya scamps!

[laughing]

Uh, what about me?

-You can lick the pan.
-I'll take it!

[Cricket grunting]

[sighs] Nope.
Still can't fly.

You got real close
that time, though.

-Hmm, maybe if I attach
a chicken to each arm?
-Maybe.

-[stomach grumbles]
-Hey, I'm getting kinda hungry.

Now that you mention it,
so am I.

You think Gramma would
make us more of those biscuits?

I don't see why not.
We should go ask.

Yeah.

Aw, dang it.
Almost had it.

What do you want?
I'm busy.

Hey, Gramma.
It's Cricket and Tilly

from a few doors down,
and we were just wondering

if you could make us
some of those delicious

feel-better
butter biscuits.

They were so good,
and they made us so happy.

Aw, sweetie, I'd love to.
But the answer is no.

-Yeah... Huh?
-Why not?

Sorry, sweeties.
Them's the rules.

Now, leave me be.
I'm in the middle
of something.

Gramma, wait!

[screams]

My bedroom is
private property, boy!

You know better than to
come into my room uninvited.

I'm sorry, Gramma.
We just really want those...

biscuits.

-[frustrated sigh]
-[Bill laughing]

Father,
why are you laughing?

Don't you get it?

If you want Gramma's biscuits,
you gotta get hurt.

Let me break it down
for you.

Your mom
only got 'em once,

after that big
motorcycle crash,

and I haven't had 'em
since I lost my finger
to the hay baler.

Those biscuits
were so dang good,

it made me want to lose
another finger.

Surely I don't need
all of them.

Dad, you're right.
Tilly, if we want biscuits,

we gotta get hurt
real bad.

Sounds like a good plan,
brother.

Except for
the "getting hurt" part.
That sounds painful.

Well, maybe we don't need
to get hurt.

Maybe we just need to make
Gramma think we got hurt.

-Oh, my little Dirtbag.
-[purring]

Wake up, little baby.
Wake up.

Wake up!
Aw, you're awake?

[Cricket] Aah! Gramma,
come here quick! Help us!
-[Tilly] Gramma, help, help!

Cricket? Tilly?
What are y'all doing?

You're not supposed
to be up there!

-Okay, Tilly, now!
-[both shout]

-Oh, my goodness!
-[panicked shouting]

[Tilly]
Ah, cactus! No!

Oh, their little spines!

No-o-o!

Why would he do that?!

[shouting]

Hold on, babies,
I'm coming!

[both grunt]

Bleh!

Bleh!

-Kids! Are you okay?
-G-Gramma?

Gramma, we don't feel
too hot.

We could really use
some of those biscuits.

Biscuits come later,
my sweet darlings.

Right now I need to
reset your spines.

-Do what, now?
-Haven't used this
technique since the w*r.

Now, hold still.

I'd say this won't hurt much,
but I ain't no liar.

[grunts] Gramma, we're fine!
We lied! We're not really hurt!

Dang it, Cricket,
we were so close!

I mean, oh, my bones!

They are in disarray!

I can't believe this!
You bamboozled me!

[grunts] Gramma, no, wait!
We just wanted the biscuits!

Well, the only thing
you're getting from me is...
disappointment.

-Oh! My heart!
-Gramma, please! We're sorry!

[both protesting, groaning]

-Well, that was a bust.
-Cricket, we gotta do something.

My body's rejecting
all other foods!

-I need those biscuits!
-You know what?

We don't need Gramma
to make biscuits for us.

We can make 'em
ourselves.

I like where
your head's at, brother.

Now,
what's in biscuits?

Well, biscuits are
made out of bread.

Bread. Got it.
All right, what's next?

I know Papa adds flower
to this kind of stuff.

Yep, yep, yep.
And some honey mustard

to give it that
nice golden color.

And finally, the eggs.

What do you think,
one or two?

Mm, three?

Time to stir.

Tilly,
are you ready

for the best biscuits
you've ever tasted?

Lookin' good. Lookin' good.

Well, what are
we waiting for?
Let's try 'em.

[exclaims]

[whimpers, squeaks]

[both] Blech!

What have we done?

Gaah!
I just want biscuits!

[chuckles]
Welcome to the club.

I've been trying to get my hands
on a feel-better butter biscuit
for years.

Did you really think you could
simply bake 'em on your own?

-Yes.
-You always tell us
to believe in ourselves.

Fools, both of you!

-Rude.
-Yeah, Dad. What the heck?

Oh, sorry, kids.
It's just,

I've tried countless times
to make those biscuits.

But it's useless without
Gramma's secret recipe book.

Gramma's secret
recipe book?

Yeah. Her secret recipe book.
She keeps it hidden in her room.

-Hidden in her room?
-Th-That's what I just said.

-That's what you just said?
-How hard did you hit
your head earlier?

What Cricket means
is we just got to

sneak into Gramma's room
and find her recipe book.

Well, I suppose,
but are you really crazy
enough to cross your Gramma?

You bet.

Sounds like a plan.

And now back to
"The Last Days of our Lives."

[woman on TV]
Eustace, I love you.

-I've always loved you.
-What?

Ooh, steamy.

All right, Gramma's busy
watching her show.

That gives us some time
to search her room
for the recipe book.

But we got to get in and out
as fast as possi...ble...

Dad,
what are you wearing?

You said, wear black.
This is the only
black shirt I have.

-Well, do something
about that nonsense.
-Oh, okay.

-[rattling]
-Dang, it's locked.

I got this. Papa, give me
your credit card.

Sweetie, where did
you learn to...

Shh, Papa.
We're on a mission.

Remember, that recipe book
could be anywhere,

so leave no stone untur--
Whoa!

Oh, my gosh, this whole place
is booby-trapped!

-It's what?
-[clattering]

[screams]

Oh. I see what you mean.

Tilly, what happened?
[exclaiming]

[grunting]

[relieved sigh]
Oh! This was a mistake!

Papa, hang on!
I'm coming!

[screaming]

Never mind.

Tilly! Cricket!
We gotta get out of here!

Not yet! That recipe book's
gotta be around here somewhere!

-[beeping]
-Huh?

[screams]

"Thunk"? What kind
of pillow goes thunk?

[gasps] Aha!
I found it!

Package secure.
Time to read that recipe.

[air horn blares]

Do you think
she heard that?

-Trespassers!
-[screams] Ma!

I'm sorry. We surrender.
We surrender.

Kids,
say you surrender.

If we surrender, will you
make us more biscuits?

-No.
-Then never!

[groans]
Well, I'm out of ideas.

Gramma,
if you want this book,

you'll have to pry it
from my buttery, unwashed hands.

All right, bucko, if that's
how you wanna play it.

[cries out]

-[shouting]
-[gasping]

You don't know
what you're doing, boy!

Trust me,
it's better this way!

Oh yeah? Well,
it's "butter" this way!

Wha?

-Gotcha!
-[grunts]

-Thanks, Tilly.
-No biscuits, no glory!

Ha-ha!
I have the high ground!

Nothing can stop me.

Now I can make biscuits
whenever I want.

-That's the problem!
-Huh?

Listen, those biscuits
are special.

And if something happens
all the time, well,

it stops being special.

Plus, well, you know,

it makes me feel special,

like you guys need me.

Oh, but go on.

Enjoy your biscuits
whenever you want.

Those biscuits
are the best thing
I've ever eaten.

They really are special.
So... let's keep it that way.

[gasps] That's...

That's real sweet
of you, Cricket.

Oh, well, look at that.

The fifth tear I've ever shed.

All right,
ya'll get over here.

[all] Aw!

Now, nobody move.

I gotta turn off
the booby traps.

Do what now?

[all screaming]

[alarm beeping]

[munching contentedly]

[all gulp, sigh]

Okay, let's go
to the hospital.

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ I lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪

♪ And I fell out
A big, old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ A got chased by a dog
Bit by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
At seven and 10 ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪