03x20 - Long Goodbye

[bunniefuu]

(chicken clucks)

All right, I'm all packed.

You sure that's all
gonna fit?

Of course.
I'm very low-maintenance.

Just got to squeeze in
the air mattress.

(air wheezes)

(chuckles)

Hmm, let me help you out there.

I can't believe
y'all are leaving already.

I'll miss you, sweetie.

But it's time for me
to go home to Big City.

Gloria's been texting me
nonstop about
some legal café junk.

Girl's strung tighter
than a banjo.

Apparently she needs me back
at the café to sign
some paperwork.

I don't think
she can handle it alone.

Don't tell her I said that.

(grunting)

Okay, all packed.

Actually,
there's one more thing.

- Remy's very own dirt jar.
- (gasps)

So you'll always have
a little bit

of Green Family Farms
with you.

Oh, Cricket! Thank you,
thank you, thank you!

- Aw.
- Ain't that sweet.

Better put it in your suitcase
for safekeeping.

Cricket, no--

Jeez, Dad.
How'd you pack this thing?

- Hey, you two leaving already?
- Just about.

Mr. Green is taking me
and Mrs. Gramma Green

back to Big City.

Vasquez has been planning

a big welcome-home dinner
for me tonight.

That's great. Uh, Alice,
where's your suitcase?

I got everything I need
right here.

(rattles)

- (grunting)
- And in those bags.
Thanks, son.

Well, I guess it's time
to say goodbye.

Jeez, feels like
we all just got here.

And now Mom and Remy
are leaving.

This country house
isn't gonna be quite the same.

I knew you all would have to go
back to Big City eventually,

but now that the day's
actually here,

I wish we didn't have
to say goodbye just yet.

Yeah, me too.

I just wish we had
a few more hours together.

Hey, Bill,

why don't you give the kids
more time with one another?

Bring them with you while
you drop Alice and Remy off.

Oh, that's a great idea.

We could hit
the farmer's market
while we're there,

since we got
all that extra produce.

- Yeah!
- Wonderful!

Great idea, Mom!

Plus we'll get to check in

on ol' Big City.

I want to make sure all
my footprints and butt-prints

I left in the cement
are still there.

Sounds good,
as long as I'm back in time
for my welcome-home dinner.

And I don't care
how I get home,

as long as I'm back
for Gloria's...

whatever.

Well, then let's get going.

The Greens are going
back to Big City!

Aah!

I'll be the first to admit,
that one was on me.

REMY:
Bye, Miss Debbie.

Bye, Miss Debbie, Jr. Mwah.

BILL:
Okay, kids, you ready to go?

Coming!

(all giggle)

Well, Alice,

I'll see you around.

Come here, you.

Mm!

Mama, you don't want
to come visit the city too?

The only thing I ever liked
about going to Big City

was visiting you guys.

And since y'all live here
in the country now,

I don't miss a thing.

But y'all have fun on your trip,
all right?

(laughs)
We'll try.

- (ignition starts)
- Okay, family...

- (clears throat)
- And, uh, Remy.

Remy, I think of you
as another s--

It's fine, let's go,
Mr. Green.

(whistling)

(both snoring)

- ♪ 99 bottles of-- ♪
- We're not doing that.

(gasps)
Kids! Wake up, wake up, wake
up!

- Dad! Dad! We're up!
- Look ahead.

(Tilly, gasping)
We made it!

ALL:
Wow!

- Look at that.
- Dad, there's our exit!

The same one we took
on our first visit to Big City.

BILL:
Cricket, I know the way.

Get your hands
off the steering wheel.

(Cricket, chuckling)
Sorry, Dad.

- (whistle blowing)
- (car horns blurting)

Boy, this place hasn't changed
a bit since we left.

Pollution and pop-up shops
as far as the eye can see.

Man, I can't believe
we used to live here.

BOTH:
Wow!

TILLY:
It's a hundred times bigger

than I remember.

(gasps)
I'm getting déjà vu

in the best kind of way.

How come
I'm not getting déjà vu?

We weren't here
the first time they did this.

(laughing)

Ooh! A biker. Tough guy.

Now, where to park? Ooh!

Commercial loading zone
with a purple curb

and a cracked meter
means it's free for two hours.

Just got to park and...

(buzzing)

(gasps)
Sir!

That was incredible!

I'm writing you
a reverse parking ticket.

Here's $20.

(laughs)
Oh. Thanks.

I used to park here a lot.

All right, family, we've only
got one quick pit stop

at the Big City farmer's market
to sell this produce.

Then we're dropping off
Remy and Gramma and heading...

home.

(amazed chatter)

(chuckling nervously)
Okay, let's keep moving.

Now this is a real trip
down memory lane.

The Big City farmer's market.

Wow, feels like just yesterday

I exploded a bath b*mb
out my pants.

(laughs)
Right over there.

Aw, memories are fun.

BILL: We've only got
a few hours to sell all this

before Gramma and Remy
need to get home,

so let's get up and get selling.

- KEYS: Green family?
- (all gasp)

ALL:
Officer Keys!

I can't believe it!

Happy day!

Oh, this city's been so boring
without your weekly high jinks.

I had to get one of those
anime haircuts

to keep my life
from getting too dull.

Neat.

We'd love to catch up
with you again,

but we better get selling.

Our family's been away so long,

I'm worried that
everyone's forgotten us.

Well, fret not, Mr. Green.

From the moment
I confirmed it was you,

I set off the Green Family alert
to everyone in my group chat.

- The what?
- GRIGORIAN: Green family!

Hey!

- Good to see you!
- TILLY: Hello, everyone!

It's emotional
to see you again, Greens!

Hey, hey,
what's up, y'all?

Oh, my gosh.
It's Weezie, Benny, and Kiki.

Oh, man, Weezie.

Can you give us one
of your classic Weezie lines?

Oh, I don't do that anymore.

- Aw.
- Aw.

Just kidding.
You know I always be ribbin'.

- Let's go!
- ALL: Oh!

Oh, man. He's still got it.

Hmm?

(gasps)
Gabriella! I miss you so--

- (electricity crackles)
- (screams)

(laughs)
I missed you too.

Now come on, let's go find
some people to zap.

What a woman.

- Is that Bill Green I see?
- Huh?

Doug Perkins?

I'm so happy
to see you, buddy.

Well, I'm not happy
to see you.

- What?
- I'm thrilled!

(both laugh)

BILL:
I was gonna cry.

Excuse me,

I'm with an agency in Big City

seeking fresh dandelions
for top secret purposes,

and we've confirmed
your stand has--

TILLY:
Andromeda!

Hey, how'd you see through
my perfect disguise?

I always know
when it's you.

Hey, it's your old neighbor, Brett.

Hey, Brett.

I'm more of a background character,

but it's good to see you, Greens.

Uh, good to see you too, fella.

I'm Fabian the puzzle master.

Remember me?

Not even a little,
but good to see you.

(excited chatter)

MAN:
Hey, Fabian, show us a trick.

Thanks for coming by.

Have a good one.

Whew!
Well, that's the last of it.

I can't believe
how fast the day went.

I don't know if we've ever
sold out that quickly.

Looks like Big City
hasn't forgotten the Greens.

They'd have a hard time forgetting

after all the trouble
we've caused.

Probably about time
for us to head home now.

Yeah. It just hit 4:00.

Pfft, 4:00. That's still a whole
two hours we got together.

I'm riding high from nostalgia.

Seeing all our old friends
makes me want to revisit

more of Big City.

I don't know about that.

Gloria's expecting me back
to sign those papers.

And I should get
to my welcome-home dinner

before Vasquez
gets worried.

Oh, come on.
The kids want to see the city.

How can you say no
to these cute faces?

(Bill cooing)

Well, I suppose.

As long as we're back
before six.

Yeah, we've got some time.

I'm sure Vasquez
won't mind.

Master Remy is almost home
from his trip.

(squeals)

With dinner prepared,

all that' left to do
is sit and wait.

(giggles)

(Gloria grunts)

Well, Alice is going
to be home soon,

and I got to get this place
into shape.

Couch, it's been fun.

But let's not forget
all the good times we've had

when it was just
the two of us.

Peaceful evenings,
catching up on the news.

TV ANNOUNCER:
We now return to Hot Dog Fails.

WOMAN (on TV): There's simply
too much mustard on this.

GLORIA:
Our afternoon yoga ritual.

(scoffs)
I can do that.

- (bones crack)
- (screams)

Arm doesn't move that way!

GLORIA: Those long nights
of introspection.

(muffled shriek)

- Huh. I need to get out more.
- (knock on door)

Gloria Sato, I presume?

I'm Merv Stampington,
here to--

Oh, jeez. Oh, great.

I'm here to notarize
your café permit.

Oh. You're here early.

Uh, my business partner
isn't here yet,

but I suppose I could just
sign the papers myself.

No, no, no, no.

Both parties must be present
before signing.

Unless you want to re-file
all those under sole ownership?

I...do not.

Well, thanks for coming by...

That's just my stamp hand.

Forty years in the notary game
will do that to you.

Luckily, you're my last
appointment before I retire.

Oh. Congratulations.

Ah, there's nothing
to congratulate.

I've been stamping paperwork
for four miserable decades.

The second it hits 6:00,
I'm going straight to Cancun

to live out the rest of my days

before my fluttery little heart
catches up to me.

Uh-huh. Well, my business
partner, Miss Green,

should be here soon.

Why don't you come in
while we're waiting?

Just watch out for the bags
of--

- (loud crash)
- MERV: Ah! Oh, blort.

All right, y'all.

Just a quick tour
down memory lane,

and we'll be on our way.

After all, we can't leave
without stopping by

one or two
of our favorite places.

ALL:
Cheese!

- Come back! Over here!
- I got it!

- Whoa!
- Ha! Never gets old.

Dig in.

(all chomping)

(camera shutters clicking)

- ALL: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- (elevator dinging)

This is fun. This is fun!

♪ 'Cause it's fun, fun, fun
Fun, fun, fun, fun ♪

Can we please go already?

But we haven't done
the sad acoustic version yet.

What?

(somberly)
♪ Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun ♪

♪ Fun, fun, fun... ♪

(both groan)

Looks like we're stuck
in a real Big City traffic jam.

- What a delight.
- Ha!

That's a weird way
to give a thumbs-up.

Uh, guys, Vasquez just used
an exclamation point

for the first time ever.

He must be anxious
about me getting back on time.

Yeah, come on, y'all.
It's been a very special day.

But now it's over,
so just take us home!

Oh, come on.
We still got time.

We still haven't seen the, uh...

community center.

Yay.

Yes, we have. Twice.

What about the good ol'
Big City dump?

For some reason,
we went there too.

- (cell phone vibrates)
- Gloria's blowing up my phone.

I think I got to take this.

Hello, Gloria?

Yeah, hold your horses.

I'll be there before six
to sign it.

Bill and them are gonna
finally drop us off,

then they're heading
right back to the country.

Yeah, no,
they got a long drive ahead.

Not sure how long it'll be
before we see them again.

- (vibrating)
- Could be a while.

Heh. I know, it is sad.

Okay! You know what?

Let's forget these pesky phones.

- Hey!
- Hey!

(Gloria, on phone)
Hello?

Alice?

She'll be here soon.

Gloria's boring. Just chat with
us while we take you home.

Live in the moment.

Yeah, if this is our last
bit of time together,

we just want y'all
to remember it with us.

All right, fine.

But only because y'all seem
genuine with your intentions.

- (all chuckling nervously)
- Yeah. Totally.

TILLY:
Let's go look at billboards.

(vibrating and ringing)

No word from Remy yet?

He must be running
a little late.

Let us know when he gets here, Vasquez.

The Greens should've returned
Remy by now.

I'm needed.

(growls)

Vasquez!

I will scour this entire city
until he's found.

It's time for Master Remy
to come home.

(ticking)

(sniffles)

Wow, I never realized
our clock was so...

loud and ticky.

Is my life a joke to you?

No, sir. I'm sorry, sir.

Your business partner
better get here soon,

because when that clock
turns to six,

my retirement begins.

And you'll have to start
this process all over again.

No! I spent months
getting this appointment set up.

Please, just hang tight.
I'm sure she's on her way.

Right... now.

- (knock on door)
- See? There she is.

Alice, thank goodness
you're ba...

Oh, wow,
you are not Alice.

Master Remy has gone dark.

Tell me where he is.

Wait, Remy?
I haven't seen him.

He must still be out
with the Greens.

Which means
he's also with Alice.

Okay, let's go.

If they won't come to us,
we're going to them.

- You're coming too.
- Whoa!

Wow, this might be my favorite
stop of our tour yet.

Who would've thought Big City
even had a billboard district?

See? Isn't this great, guys?

Well, onto the next one.

Oh.

Well, family,
what should we see next?

Oh, no!

No more stops,
no more activities.

It's been a long day,

and we don't have time
for any more shenanigans.

Yeah, guys, I think it's time
to wrap this up.

I mean, just look at the time.

Vasquez must be worried sick.

What? What are you
talking about?

There's so much we can do
in five minutes.

Yeah, like, uh--

ALICE:
Baloney!

If you're not gonna
take us back,

then we can just start
walking home.

Now, I love y'all,
but Gramma's gotta bounce.

- (doors locks clunk)
- What the--? Bill?

BILL:
I'm sorry, you two.

Our Big City tour
is just beginning!

Mr. Green, what are you--? Aah!

This isn't the way home.
Where are you taking us?

Anywhere. Everywhere! Huh?

(growling)

Oh, not today.

(tires squeal)

"One last job,"
my boss said.

"It'll be an easy one,"
my boss said.

I should be playing shuffleboard
in Cancun!

BILL: And on your right,
you'll see a Big City bus.

And look, everyone,
a purple car!

(cackles)

Whoa! What in tarnation
do you think you're doing?

Oh, we're just trying
to squeeze in a few more sights

while we're still all together.

Right, kids?

Oh, you bet, Papa.

Isn't this fun, Remy?

Isn't this fun?

(groaning and crying)

TILLY:
Look, y'all. Pretty red lights.

Ah, nothing like
Big City traffic.

Ooh, and is that a new road?

Well, we have to check it out.

You never know
what you might find--

Look out!

(all scream)

BILL:
And here's the Big City River.

And that's a fire hydrant.

- Ah!
- Get out! Out, out, out!

Oh, can't seem to find
any parking.

Ooh, money. Whoa!

Gall darn it, we can't see the
sights with all these magazines.

That's better.

Oh, look at that beautiful wall.

(brakes squeal)

(Vasquez, over bullhorn)
Return Master Remy, or else...

his dinner will get cold.

Well, would you look
at that, kids.

A helicopter.

This trip just keeps
getting better and better.

(tires squeal)

(groaning)

Huh? Is that Vasquez?

- No, no, no!
- No, no, no!

That's just some guy
pretending to be Vasquez.

I'm getting out of here.
You guys are crazy.

- Freedom!
- Oh, no, you don't.

It's not 6:00 p.m. yet.

(gasps)

You. Fly the helicopter.

B-b-but I'm a notary,
not a pilot.

It's fine.
It's just a helicopter.

Up is down
and down is up.

Avoid the buildings.

(beeping)

(groaning)
Oh, no.

Follow that truck.
Uh, is that a grenade launcher?

Don't worry.
I'm sh**ting smoke bombs.

Perfectly normal and safe.

Come to Papa,
my sweet baby Remy boy.

ALL:
Whoa!

(all panting)

- Huh?
- Huh?

Oh. It's our old house.

How'd we get here?

I must have been
on autopilot.

- Hey, Ma, where--?
- Aah! Get me out of here!

(panting)

- Mwah! Mwah!
- (groaning)

- (helicopter hovering)
- BOTH: Huh?

Master Remy!

(sobbing)
Oh, Remy!

Oh, Vasquez.
I feel the same way.

I hope I'm not too late
for dinner.

Oh, never.

- Oh!
- (both sobbing)

MERV:
Miss Sato, you've got 15 seconds

and I'm out of here.

Fourteen, thirteen...

- Well, come on.
- Whoa!

- ...nine, eight...
- (grunting)

Hey, what are you--? Aah!

- Get a move on.
- ...six, five...

- Sign this!
- All right, all right.

MERV:
...three...

- Here. Stamp it.
- ...two, one.

- (watch beeps)
- (gasps)

Six o'clock! Yes!

Wah-ha!

Cancun, here I come!

Happy retirement.

(chuckles)

I can finally sell cheese.

Well, since we're here,
we might as well pop in
for a couple--

Oh, no, you don't.

- No, wait...
- Just a sec.

Zip it!

Look, y'all can visit
whenever you want.

But right now,
you need to sort yourselves out.

You've been acting
like maniacs all day.

Maniacs?

(laughs)
I don't know about that.

We saw some sights,

and then we dropped
you and Remy off.

Just like we planned.

I don't want to hear it.

It's been a long day,

and it's time for y'all
to go home!

- ALL: Mm-hmm.
- Sure, sure.

Well, if you're all settled now,
I guess we'll be on our way.

Back home.

To the country.

Our home.

(truck engine starts)

Bye! Thanks for everything!

- What was that?
- Nothing! Get!

- Aw.
- Love y'all. Drive safe.

Hmm. Goodbye, Big City.

Yeah. Goodbye.

Hmm.

(crickets chirping)

Uh, Dad, why'd you stop
the truck?

I didn't.
Not sure what...

Oh.

Out of gas.

Probably should have filled up

after driving around
the city all day.

(all chuckle nervously)

I'll call your mother.

Hmm?

Huh.

We're exactly halfway

between Big City and Smalton.

Fate has stranded us perfectly
balanced between two worlds.

Hey, y'all.

Mama to the rescue.

So, how was Big City?

It sure was wonderful
seeing all our friends again,

and it was fun
being with Gramma and Remy.

But leaving felt
tingly and complicated.

Yeah. Being back in Big City,

it almost felt like...

ALL:
Being home.

I'm really happy we're living
in the country again, but...

The lights. The sights.
All of our friends.

I guess we're realizing
just how much we miss Big City.

But that's crazy, right?

I mean, we're country folk.
We belong in the country.

At least I thought we did.

Well, I know I'm meant
to live in the country.

I miss the peace.

- And the stillness.
- (wind gusting)

The open spaces
and fresh air.

Oh, it's been amazing.

I feel as if I'm meant
to live in the country.

But that's me.

What I'm hearing from y'all

is that maybe your home
has changed.

Well, I love Big City,
but I love the country too.

We're stuck in a conundrum, Mama.

There's no way for us
to live in both places.

Maybe there is.

Maybe I am meant to live
in the country.

To keep the farm running.

And if I did that,

y'all could move back
to Big City

with your gramma.

- Say what, now?
- Think about it.

We still have
the country farm,

and you could still live
in Big City.

Then you and the kids
could go back and forth

whenever you wanted.

We'd actually get to live
in both our homes?

Are you messing with us?

Please, I'm too vulnerable
to be messed with!

I'm not messing. I mean--

Of course your father
would have to be okay with it.

(both grunt)

Yeah, Nance,
I'm okay with it.

Hmm. You big lug.

(truck engine starts)

(engine revs)

(squeals)

CRICKET:
So, what does this make us?

BILL:
What do you mean?

I mean, now that everything's
working out,

we'll be able to have
all sorts of adventures

in Big City
and the country.

So, are we country folks
in the city,

or city folks
in the country?

Well, we're...

the Greens.

And all our problems
are solved.

(all cheer)

CRICKET:
Yeehaw!

(wind gusting)

GRAVEDIGGER:
Good night, Winifred.

Good night, Brandon.

Night, Jolene.

Good night-- Oh!

Oh, no.

No night-nights for this one, Digsby.

Fella might just be
the biggest jerk who ever died.

Had to be buried way out here,

because he was banned
from Big City.

Was always picking
on this one family.

Gave them nothing but trouble.

What were their names again?

The Groats?

The Grubs?

The Greens.

It was the Greens.

And their troubles
are just beginning.

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out
A big old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my leg ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
In seven of ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪