04x13 - Hullabaloo'd/Jaded

[bunniefuu]

All righty. One half-caf
double-pump vanilla,

light on the chia,
chai-spice latte,
coming right up.

Wow, Jade, that was fast.

Just doing my job.

May you thoroughly
enjoy your beverage
and have a wonderful day.

Terry, this new employee
is amazing! [laughs]

Uh, I can help
the next in line.

No need for that, Gloria.

I have all their orders
memorized.

[hums]

Order up!

[all exclaiming]

A masterpiece!

Look at her go.

She is insanely good
at her job.

[sighs] I know. She's also
insanely good at my job.

[battle cries]

Got 'em, Mr. Green.

Ya sure did!

Well, I got nothing to do now.

So I'm off to join
Tilly at the park.

But you're still
on the clock. Oof.

Thanks for
the constant support, Gloria.

- Hey!
- Bye!

Aw.

Uh, but...

Hoo-wee,
business has been booming
ever since you hired Jade.

Just look at her go.

Hey, thanks.

Jade is the best worker
this place has ever seen.

Yeah, she is the best,
isn't she?

Yup. Well, I gotta
run to the bank.

Don't let everything
go to ruin while I'm gone.

Oof! It's okay, Jade.
I got it.

Actually, I prefer the way
she does it.

Oh.

That's fine because I've got

some very important
boss work to do in the back.
[chuckles nervously]

Okay, Jade's really good
at her job.

That's good.

But why does it make
me feel so bad? [groans]

[woman] Pathetic.

- [yells] Wha--
- Up here.

Did you just say that?

Yeah, it was me.
Or should I say you?

Back when you were respected
as Employee of the Month.

Wait, am I losing my mind?

Probably.
But what's more important
is that you're losing respect.

That new employee
is making you look bad.

What am I supposed to do?

It'd be silly of me
to directly tell her
not to work hard.

But wouldn't it be nice
if she dialed it back
just a bit?

So you can step back
into the spotlight

and remind people
that you're the best?

That would be nice.
[chuckles] But how?

I have an idea. Come closer.

Oh... [giggles]

- [whispers indistinctly]
- [giggles]

Hey, Tilly,
check out this sporty shirt
I found on the sidewalk.

Looks like you're ready
to join me

in the noble game
of pickleball.

A refined sport
that surprisingly,
does not involve pickles.

I, uh, I knew that.

[clears throat]
So, uh, how do you play?

It's basically doubles tennis,
but on a smaller court.

Each team
needs to bounce the ball
once on the other side.

Then it's fair game
to try and spike.

My kinda game.

Now where are the opponents
we're about to destroy?

- [vehicle honks]
- Oh, here they are now.

Hi, Phyllis! Hi, Olga!

Oh, hello, Tilly.

We're so very excited for...

[grunting] a good game.

Old ladies, huh?

You take the one on the left,

and I'll bring the heat!

Cricket, no,
Phyllis and Olga
are frail elders,

so we have to be gentle
and go easy on them.

- Okay?
- Fine.

But I'm gonna be grumbly
about it.

[chuckles] With this plan,

I'll be back in the spotlight
in no time.

Let's see what
perfect Jade thinks of this.

I can take care
of your trash, sir.

I... I think I love you.

[Gloria] Attention,
loyal patrons.

In the interest
of better serving you,

we are proud to introduce
our very own suggestion box.

If any of you have
any comments or complaints,

please write them up
and put them inside.

Rest assured,
they're completely anonymous.

Oh-h*, boy, I hope I get
some constructive feedback.

Oh, you'll be getting
some feedback, Jade.

You'll get all the feedback
you can handle.

[laughs cunningly]

Remember, Cricket,
we must go easy
on my elderly friends.

[grumbles]

Okay, Phyllis, here's a nice,
easy one comin' your way.

- [grunts]
- Oh, missed it.

Nice get, Phyllis.

Father always said,
"If the morning goose gets it,
you got it."

Now, Olga, what did
the national pickleball team
used to call you?

They called me...

de Iron Gherkin!

- Dah!
- [Cricket] Aah!

[Phyllis] Now, children...

it's my serve.

[both gulp]

- [grunts]
- [gasps]

[Phyllis] You kids
came into my kitchen
looking for cookies...

- [grunts]
- [gasps]

...but all I've got today
are hard crackers!

Tilly, these old ladies
are pickleball pros.

We're getting wrecked.

All right, no more going easy.

So, Jade, since things
are slowin' down,

whadaya say
we take a little peek-see
at the ol' suggestion boxy?

Ooh, I'd love nothing more!

I wonder what these unbiased
customers have to say.

"I think Jade smiles
too much."

What? I guess the customers
don't want you to smile,

and the customer
is always right.

- So...
- Then I'm never smiling again.

[grunting]

What else
do the customers say?

"Jade's hand motion
when she waves to customers
is too emphatic."

Not anymore.

Thank you
for your patronage, sir.

Have a fantastic afternoon.

[laughs cunningly]
My plan is working.

- Huh?
- In that customers
are suggesting things.

Let's do another one.

"I wish Gloria spent
half as much time
with customers

"as she does on her phone."
[laughs nervously]

What? That's a...
That's a weird one.

"Gloria needs to work
on customer greetings."

Whoa, whoa! Hold on!

[grunts angrily]

These are all
customer complaints about me!

Looks like you need
to make some adjustments, too.

After all, the customer's
always right.

Take that and that!

And some of that! [grunts]

[laughs] Ze children
put up good fight!

Why don't you show them
how it's done, Olga dear?

Da!

[grunts] Why is that one
testin' the wind?

[grunts] Aah!

- [Tilly gasps]
- Oh, my gosh! [yells]

My tootsie!

[gasps] Cricket!

Avenge my tootsie.

You two
have just crossed a line.

Your reign
of pickle terror is over!

- [bell dings]
- [hums, gasps]

Hello and welcome
to Gloria Plus Green Cafe.

Bonjour! Care for a refill?

I'm not looking at my phone
because I'm looking at you.

[both gasp]

See, eye contact.

- Gloria, you're
scaring people.
- [gasps]

Someone put a card
in the suggestion box.

The what now?

Okay, customers, tell me
how much I've improved.

"Gloria needs serious help.

"The cafe would be better off
without her."

Hmm, I see how it is.

- Jade!
- At your service, Gloria.

Jade, in my last act
as your boss,

I... I promote you
and fire myself.

Now you're the boss.

- Wait. What?
- This is getting real weird.

Good luck running
the Plus Green Cafe.

I'd run off,
but I'd probably do it wrong.

So, I'll just head
to the back this way.
[gasps, thuds]

Don't look at me! [sobs]

Oh, geez. Gloria!

Uh... [whew]

I'm the boss?

Come on, Tilly.
You got 'em on the ropes!

This next point can win it!

[panting, groans]

It is over!

The little girl
can barely stand!

Do you feel that, grannies?

Storms are coming.

Tilly tornado!

Yeah!

Brother, your tootsie
is avenged.

Way to go, Tilly.

But, uh, are they okay?

[both groan]

[gasps] Oh, no! Girls!

I shouldn't have put
so much mustard on that shot.

I'm sorry.

What are you talking about?

Zat was great shot!

You're not mad?

Of course not, dearie.

That game was
a hoot and a half!

People always go easy
because we are old.

It was nice to not be
treated differently for once.

Yep, [chuckles nervously]
that was always
my intention.

Cricket, I just learned
a valuable lesson.

Phyllis and Olga may be old,

but they're unique
human beings,

not senior citizen
stereotypes.

Children,
it's almost 2:00 p.m.

Want to join us for dinner?

Well, mostly unique.

[sighs] That's the last time
I take advice from a photo.

Gloria, did somethin' happen
while I was gone?

Yeah, I realized I'm useless.

I made up some
fake complaints about Jade

to try and dial her back,
but it backfired.

What? Why would you
need to dial her back?

She's great the way she is.

Because she's better than me.

You even said it yourself.

"Jade is the best worker
this place has ever seen."

Gloria, I meant that
as a compliment for you.

What-- What do you mean?

You're so good
at bein' the boss,

you knew to hire
someone like Jade.

You ain't competin' with her.

You're on the same team.

And from the looks of it,
your teammate

could really use
her team captain right now.

[all clamoring]

I don't know what to do.

I usually just follow
directions from Gloria.

Go on, boss lady.

Why don't you
give her some direction?

Everyone, we'll have
your drinks out soon.

Please form a single-file line
in front of the register.

- Now!
- [clamor stops]

Jade, forget
the suggestion box.

I'm back in charge,
so you can go back to normal.

Oh, thank goodness
you're back!

I can't handle this place
or this headband without you.

And you shouldn't have to,
because it's my job.

However, I'd like
to give you something
for doing your job so well.

You've inspired me to start

a new Employee
of the Month tradition.

It's a little something
we used to do
at the old place.

Aw, thank you, Gloria.

What an honor.

Gloria, my foot hurts.

Give me some free food.

Coming right up.

No, he gets nothing.

You're the boss.

♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
in seven of ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪