04x16 - Evil Family/Greens Underground

[bunniefuu]

[♪ theme song playing]

♪ One, two...
One, two three, four ♪

♪ La, la , la , la, la, la, la , la ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

Oh, Normy, lunch is almost ready.

Aw, you're my little Chef Babe-ardi.

[laughing] Norm.

Well, I'm gonna head down
to the old man cave to do

some highly classified work on my project.

Whatever you're up to
must be making you really happy.

It is, babe.

- It really is.
- [♪ menacing instrumental music playing]

Wholesome Gregy, I'm home.

Hiya, boss. Did you find us a lair
that isn't a gross sewer?

No, Greg. I've found
something even better.

A revelation.

Have you ever wondered
how the Greens have bested me,

Chip Whistler, time and time again?

Not really.

[Chip] Well, I'll tell you.

After the Green family nearly k*lled me,

I tried to start a new life
as a normal guy.

But when the Greens returned to Big City,

so did my thirst for vengeance.

So, I came up with
another brilliant Chip plan.

- But was defeated yet again.
- [Chip thuds]

And I began to understand
why the Greens always win.

It's because they're a unified group.

Perfectly aligned
as a single force, a family.

And if I have any hope of beating them,
I'll need my own family.

- A family of evil villains united with me.
- [evil laughter]

Only then will I get
revenge on the Greens.

And all of Big City. [laughing maniacally]

I want it, Greg! I need an evil family!

[laughs] Oh. Okay, well,
love the energy, Chip.

Uh, luckily, I'm good at my job,

so I went ahead and hired
Big City's most notorious thieves.

[Chip] Ah, Bella and Bash.

That's us.

Welcome to my evil family.

To be clear, we're just trying this out.

The only thing
we'll commit to is each other.

Okay, listen up, lovebirds.

Before taking on the Greens directly,

I want to test our evil family

by taking down one of the Greens'
greatest support systems.

Cricket's best friend, Remy Remington.

But isn't breaking into Remington Manor
a dangerous play?

Normally it would be, but not for long.

Knock knock. Mail's here.

Looks important.

[Vasquez] Hmm.

"Dear Mr. Vazquez,
you have been illegally operating

"without a bodyguard license.

[reading]

I need a license?

How incredibly inconvenient!

What's wrong, Vasquez?

Eh, uh, nothing, Master Remy.

But I must leave to handle
[clears throat] a thing.

But I thought you were going
to test my survival skills today.

Uh, well... [clears throat]

You can continue practicing
what I taught you while I'm gone.

And remember, anything can be used
in self-defense.

[yells]

- [shatters]
- Neat-o!

Okay, I'll do my best defending myself.

I'll be back in a jiff. [panting]

[beeping]

[Spider Fang] The tiger has left his den
and the cub is finally alone.

[Wolf g*ng] Time to strike.

Well, it's just you and me, Snakey.

Mom and Dad are at a conference,

and Vasquez has his thing.

You know, this might be the first time
he's ever left me home alone.

What the...

Three mysterious figures
breaking into my home?

[gasps] Oh, that Vasquez.

His thing was just an excuse
to test my survival skills after all.

Hiring actors to stage a fake break-in?

It's brilliant.

I better get ready to show 'em
how much I've learned.

Bella, Bash, pick the lock.
[grunts, sighs]

[door clicks open]

- Whoa!
- [gasps]

The kid left the door wide open.

Well, then, this will be easier
than I thought.

- Huh?
- [all gasp]

[splats]

Yuck! I'm covered in ranch!

I think it's more like ketchup.

That's kranch, baby.
It goes great with potaties.

- What are potaties?
- [all grunting]

Good luck trying to catch me! [titters]

That rotten kid! Come on, let's get him!

Actually, we're out.

We didn't sign up
to get our clothes all sticky.

What? You can't just leave, we're family!

No, we're not.

Come on, Bella. Let's go rob a laundromat.

[both giggling]

Fine. I'll just have to do it myself.

[pants, groans] Ah!

- Which way did he go?
- [Remy, mockingly] Oh, no!

I foolishly ran into my bedroom
and now I'm trapped. [giggles]

You're mine. [yells]

- [Remy giggles]
- [Snakey hisses]

[screaming]

This test is way easier
than I expected. [giggling]

I'm doing what you taught me, Vasquez.

I hope you're watching.

I can't look at this anymore.

"Face"? "Car"? Uh, that one.

[grunts] Now give me my license.

- I need to get back to Master Remy.
- Of course.

You can get your bodyguard license

as soon as you finish
the rest of the exam.

[grunts, yells]

- [grunting]
- [hissing]

- [hissing stops]
- Phew. [sighs] I can't do this alone.

Are there no bad guys formidable enough

to join my evil family
and crush the Greens?

[Remy in sing-song voice]
♪ Oh, Mr. Intruder ♪

[in normal voice]
I'm all out of booby traps.

- [giggling]
- [liquid sloshing]

- [glass shattering]
- [coughing]

Huh? [gasping]

You found me, but you won't catch me.

Nowhere to run, tiger cub. [hisses]

Okay. This must be the final challenge.

I must survive. [grunts]

Aw, no fair. Can I retry that part?

[gasps] Whoa!

You got him on your first try?

- Who are you guys?
- Who are we?

- [grunts]
- [Wolf Fang] We are the Order of the Fang.

Whoa! [chuckling] Wow!
What... what are ya, like, 6'4"? 6'5"?

But what do you guys want with this kid?

The one you know as Vasquez
was once called Tiger Fang.

He left our order to become
this child's bodyguard.

His abandonment destroyed our master,

leaving us leaderless.

And then, today, Spider Fang got the alert
that the cub was left alone.

It created the perfect opportunity
for us to strike.

[hissing] Yes.

And now we begin our plan
to brainwash this child.

And train him to become
the ultimate k*lling machine.

With his mind in our control,

we'd unleash him on
the old and feeble Tiger Fang,

breaking not only his body,
but also his heart.

- [laughing maniacally]
- [Chip] Wait.

Why wouldn't you just destroy the kid now?

I mean, it would haunt Vasquez
for the rest of his life.

And, honestly, it would be way less work.

- [Wolf Fang] A lot less moving parts.
- [Spider Fang grunts]

- Hmm... Right.
- Not a bad idea.

Hold up, this is still
my survival test, right?

Oh, it's a test, all right.
One that you'll fail.

[gasps] Chip Whistler?

Wait, this is real?

That's right. Now, hand him over.

Did you try to command me?

[laughing, hissing]

The Order of the Fang
can only be led by someone

truly fearless, resilient and clever.

Not some stinky sewer rat.

- [thudding]
- [Greg screaming] Please don't--

I'm sorry I tricked you.

- Please don't use me as a human weapon!
- [both grunt]

- Vasquez!
- Tiger Fang!

You're too late.

This boy now belongs to the Order of the--

[ululates, screams]

Citrus! [hisses]

Excellent application
of your fizzy drink, Master Remy.

But as for the foolish villains
who tried to kidnap you,

I'll teach them
a different type of lesson.

This wasn't part of the plan.

We are not prepared to fight him head-on.

We have no choice.

All right. Prepare for combat.

- [Wolf Fang howls]
- Spider sound.

No need for that.

He's mine.

[scoffs] Are you insane?
Look at him right now.

- He'll tear you limb from limb.
- [growling]

If you don't think I'm strong enough,

then I'll just have to prove it.

Now, watch this.

Get ready for the Whistler--

[grunts] ...punch.

- [Vasquez grunts]
- [Chip screams, groans]

- Ooh...
- Ouch.

What a fool.

- Now, form a line.
- [knuckles crack]

[Chip coughing, groaning]

That all you got?

Hmm? I'm not gonna warn you again.

You better stay down!

- [Chip grunts]
- [Viper Fang and Wolf Fang] Ooh.

Ooh, that had to do it.

[panting] You call yourself a bodyguard?

[both grunting]

Chip is fearless.

- [Vasquez grunting]
- [Chip chuckling]

[Wolf Fang] Chip's resilient.

[both grunting]

Chip is... incredible.

What's wrong, Vasquez?
You can beat him, right?

[panting] Why won't you break?

[Chip chuckling] Silly Vasquez.

You can't break what's already broken.

Order of the Fang, finish him.

Uh, yes, sir.

- [Vasquez groaning]
- I've been waiting for this day.

Pleasant dreams.

[Vasquez groans]

[screaming]

Ugh, Remington brat got away.

[Viper Fang] Never mind the boy.

We found something better today.

A villain that we can call... Master.

"Master Chip."

[chuckles] I like the sound of that.

[laughing maniacally]

- Norm? What's going on?
- Babe?

I went looking for you
down in your man cave,

but what I found down there,
it was shocking!

Uh, well, it's not what it looks like.

- I can explain.
- Really?

Because judging by your sewer lair,

this house you broke into

and these fanged soldiers
bending the knee,

it looks like you're
some kind of supervillain!

And if that's true,

then I am totally okay with it.

[grunts in surprise]

You like that I'm a supervillain?

Oh, if it makes you happy, sweetie,

then let's be supervillains together!

Thanks, babe.

- Aw.
- That is couple goals right there.

Hi, Norm's friends.

[gasps] Whoa. What are you,
like, 6'10"? 6'12"?

Well, would you look at this?

A true evil family of my dreams.

[Greg straining]

So, what's your command, Chip?

First, someone look online
for how to treat internal bleeding.

Then we plan.

- [line ringing]
- Hi, Remy. Look what I can do.

Cricket, Chip Whistler is back!

Did you hear me?

Chip Whistler's back
and he's coming for you.

- Uh, are you frozen? Did I lose you?
- [Bill gulps]

Heard you loud and clear.

Thanks for calling, Remy. Bye now.

I... I can't believe it.

I thought the nightmare was over.

But if Chip Whistler is alive,

then he definitely wants me dead.

It does sound rather grim
when you put it that way, brother.

- Grimmer than the Grim Reaper!
- This is bad.

It's okay. Everything's under control.

I have a plan.

I just need to breathe and remain calm.

Police! Police! Help!

- Police! [crying]
- Slow down, son.

I've really mastered
the art of accessorizing.

- Officer Keys, you gotta help me.
- Oh.

Why, it's the Greens.

My favorite urban farming and--

[grunts] No time
for your pleasantries, Keys.

We've got a major problem.

Chip Whistler's back in Big City.

[sighs] Which means
he's in clear violation of his ban.

And I don't take ban breachers lightly.
[grunting]

Fear not, citizens.

We'll hunt him down
and bring him to justice.

It'll be a slam dunk.

I'll get started right after
I make this basket.

What are we supposed to do while we wait
for the police to hunt Chip down?

[Officer Keys] So close.

He knows who we are, where we live.

It's like we have big targets
on our backs.

And for what?

[Officer Keys] Ooh, missed it.

We ain't done nothing but be ourselves.

[gasps] That's it.
What if we weren't ourselves?

What are you talking about, son?

To make sure we're safe
while we wait for the police to nab Chip,

we assume other identities
and go into temporary hiding.

Like a witness protection program?

I like who I am just fine,
thank you very much.

Don't worry.

I'm gonna come up with new personas
that each of you will love.

[laughing] It'll be like a fun vacation
from our lives.

But best of all,

Chip won't find and m*rder us.
[chuckles nervously]

That sounds complicated.

Uh, hold on, Ma.

He's putting on a brave face,
but Cricket's scared.

So, let's just do whatever we can
to make him feel safe.

Boomshakalaka!

Greens, you have nothing to worry about.

Placing civilians
into witness protection is so easy,

we let kids do it. Right, Officer Tommy?

I've been making folks disappear
since I was in diapers.

Okay, old family, meet your new family,

the Bloats!

I'm Eddie Bloat.

Super-cool, spunky kid
and leader of the unit.

I'm rad, bad and ruler of the pad.

Dad, you're Darryl Bloat.

Respectable single father
and successful businessman.

Hmm. How successful are we talking?

Very successful.

[chuckles appreciatively]

Tilly, you're Helen Bloat,

Darryl's vivacious daughter
and champion ribbon twirler.

Another part I was simply born to play.

- And I saved the best for last.
- Hard pass.

Ain't no identity better than Alice Green.

Well, you might change your tune

once you hear about Roxy Bloat,

Darryl's fun-loving younger sister.

Younger?

Well, hot dang!
Let's get this show on the road, Bloats!

Wait, guys, where are we supposed to go?

The Bloats can't live
in the same house as the Greens.

Papa's right.

Even if we stay with Mama in the country,

- Chip could easily find us.
- Oh, yeah.

I know. We'll go where no Green
has gone before.

- The suburbs.
- [♪ fictional theme song playing]

♪ Come and meet the Bloats ♪

♪ A nice suburban family ♪

♪ They're not here to gloat ♪

♪ They're just living happily ♪

♪ Don't ask 'em how they moved into ♪

♪ This ranch house in the suburbs ♪

♪ Every day's another normal day
spent with each other ♪

♪ They never heard of the Greens ♪

♪ They're the Bloats ♪

- And I'm Bill!
- [song ends]

- Dad!
- Right, sorry. Uh, who am I again?

Darryl, you're Darryl Bloat, remember?

I just can't keep this up, Cricket.

Shh! My name is Eddie.

[stutters] I'm not an actor.

I don't know the first thing
about pretending to be a businessman.

Listen up! There is a lunatic out there
who's trying to destroy us.

The whole point of our fake identities
is to blend in while we hide out.

But if you can't pull yours off,

we're gonna stick out
like sore little pinkies.

Okay. Okay. I'll do better.

You gotta do better than better.

You gotta believe you're Darryl Bloat,

because if you don't, nobody will.

[sighs] I'm Darryl Bloat.

And I work in an office, doing taxes.

Hey, that's a start. What else you got?

I have a reserved parking space

- and an assistant named Andre.
- Atta-Dad!

Helen, Roxy, get a load
of Darryl here fitting in.

You go, big bro.

I'd clap, but I'm twirling here.

Nice job, fam.

But remember, like I told Darryl here,

we want to blend in, not stick out.

Show 'em how it's done, Darryl.

Hello, neighbors! I'm--

- Bill Green from Big City?
- What a surprise!

Oh, my gosh, are those Gloria's parents?

Bill Green? [chuckles]

No, I'm Darryl Bloat...

[in sing-song voice]
♪ From a nice suburban family ♪

- [Cricket groans]
- [both laughing]

You Greens are always
doing something strange.

Oh, we must tell Gloria you're here.

- [line ringing]
- Hey, Mom.

[grunting, panting]

Oh, uh... [chuckling] Sorry about that.

But, uh, you can't tell anyone
where we are.

Not even Gloria.

If anyone finds out we're here,
then Chip will...

Chip will...

[gasps] No!

No, Chip. No!

Hi, neighbors.

Hi, Carol.

[in Japanese]

- [in English] Look! It's Alice Green!
- Ugh!

[Gloria's mom] And there's Tilly Green.

Ah, I'm invisible.

- Wow, it's the whole Green family!
- Hi, Green family.

That's it. Huddle up.

- [all grunting]
- All right.

Okay, here's the deal.

Psycho maniac still on the loose.

Our cover is blown, and now
the Bloats' house is compromised.

Who are the Bloats?

We are. Keep up.

[grunts] Cricket has a point.

We should relocate somewhere else.

But where can we go?

You're welcome to stay with us.

Stay with you guys?

Oh, it's the least we could do,

seeing that you've been
so kind to our daughter

and helped her open her own business.

Although her cousin Emily
has opened five businesses.

Yes, let us hide out in your bunker!

I mean, we'd love to be
welcomed into your home.

[♪ dramatic string music playing]

All right. Sato's house is secure.

Nobody comes in. Nobody goes out.

Hmm? Aw...

Ain't that adorable?

Didn't know they made braces that big.

- They don't.
- We had to pay extra.

Hey, focus up.

Sure, we're safe from Chip for now.

But for how long?

This place needs to be more secure
than a bank vault.

Chip could attack at any moment.

Don't worry. We got your back, Cricket.

Uh... I mean, Eddie.
I mean, uh, oh, who are we?

We are... [inhales deeply] at w*r.



Add it to the log.

Ooh, I've got it!

[Mrs. Sato] This game is so fun.

The Greens are such amusing houseguests.

[grunts, yells]

Tilly, status report.

The practice dummy is fully operational.

[dummy laughs evilly] Ooh!

- Practice attack!
- Yeah! Take that, ya monster.

And that! [grunting]

Mmm, pretty good.

If Chip comes back, we should be ready.

I'm gonna check in with Officer Keys.

Maybe they've already caught Chip.

[♪ upbeat ringtone playing]

- [beeps]
- Hi, Cricket Green.

What the-- [sighs] Oh, my gosh.

Seriously, Keys? It's Eddie, remember?

Oh, that's right. I totally forgot.

Listen, Eddie,
we canceled the hunt for Chip.

We got a bigger emergency.

"Bigger"? What's bigger
than finding Chip Whistler?

The mayor's lovey is missing.

[crying] Won't somebody save my Shmooky?

- There, there, Mayor.
- [bawling]

He can't sleep without it.

- [Cricket] Are you kidding me?
- Sorry, kid.

I'm afraid you'll have
to hide out a little longer.

- No more than a month, or maybe a year.
- [beeps]

A year?

Everything okay, son?

[laughs nervously] Okay.

Keys is of no help to us anymore,
so change of plans.

We're gonna hide out here forever.

This is our new home.

Our new home. All right.

That should be fine.

Yeah, we just need to say goodbye
to our old lives.

I guess that'll mean
leaving the cafe behind.

Of course, it'd be a long time
before we see Mama again.

Yep, life will be different.

But at least we'll be safe from Chip.

We'll just make a life here
cowering in the dark,

living off packets of processed foods
and stale crackers.

Living like rats in a sewer.

No, we ain't doing any of that.

[all] Hmm?

We can't go on actually
living like this forever.

I mean, just look at us.

Yeah, we're alive.

But why have a life
if we're not gonna live it?

[in Japanese]

Big City, Smalton, Mom, the animals.

Even Grandpa Nick. That's all out there.

We're in here,

spending all our energy
hiding from someone who wants to harm us.

Chip wants us to be scared.

He wants to make our lives miserable.

- So by hiding and living in fear...
- We've let Chip win.

I don't wanna let Chip win!

Me neither.
So, let's do something about it.

- [grunts]
- [all gasp]

We won't beat him by hiding out
and cowering in terror.

We're going back to our normal lives

and living like he doesn't exist.

We're not the Bedford Park Bloats!

We're the Big City Greens!

[all cheer]

What the...

You mean you all had your normal clothes
on underneath this whole time?

Whenever Chip shows his nasty face,
we'll deal with it then.

But I won't give another second of my life
worrying about Chip Whistler.

I'm done being scared.

Same here, son.

And we'll be by your side
every step of the way.

Can we go home now so I can change?

- That's our grandma.
- [both laugh]

Oh, yeah.

[all laughing]

Eh, okay.

[all] Greens, Greens, Greens,
Greens, Greens!

The Greens are so strange.

[♪ closing theme song playing]

♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scrapped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow, I'll do it all again ♪