04x19 - Split Decision/Skipped Over

[bunniefuu]

[♪ opening theme music playing]

♪ One, two...
One, two three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

Hey, y'all,
I found the controls to the scoreboard.

Guess the song.

[buzzer blaring]

- "Wheels on the Bus'?
- Cricket Green?

Agh! It wasn't me!

This is for you from Gabriella. Okay, bye.

[all] Aw!

A wuv note from your girlfwend.
How adorable.

You and Gabriella
are literally the "it couple"

of the community center.

Crick-riella's a match
like pumpkins in a patch.

[laughs] Oh, stop.

Let's see what old Gabs has to say.

That woman is crazy about me. Ahem.

[reading]

- [all gasp]
- Don't worry.

Just another top-tier prank.
She almost got us good.

- [all sigh in relief]
- Close one.

"P.S. This is not a prank." What?

[all clamoring]

Why the heck would Gabby want
to break up with me?

We were the perfect couple.

I'll say.

This is gonna
put a real damper on picture day.

Sue just selected superlatives
for the community center yearbook.

Cricket and Gabby won
cutest couple yet again.

Look how adorable last year's shot was.

Now I'll have to find
someone else for cutest couple.

No, no, you don't.

I'm sure this is all
a big misunderstanding.

I mean, me and Gabriella?

Just look at the fun we had together.

And I'm supposed to believe
that's just over?

Well, I say, nuh-uh!

I refuse to let Crick-riella die.

I'm gonna get Gabby back!

- [all cheering]
- Yeah.

I wish them all the best!

So, you two said something about
yearbook superlatives? What's that?

They're titles that recognize
how people stand out from the crowd!

Take Jimmy, for instance.

He can shake his rump better than anybody,
so I gave him the title of best dancer.

Work it! Work it like rents due!

Superlatives cover a variety
of traits and skills.

Those selected are photographed
and placed in the yearbook for all to see.

Immortalized on the page.
Creating a legacy.

Can I have one?

Well, I guess you could

if you prove you're superlative
at something.

But you gotta do it by the end of the day.

That's when the yearbook goes to press.

Yippee skippee!

[gasps] Could I be considered
for best catchphrase?

That's a no, cash flow.

Okay, that's taken. No worries.

I'll show everyone
Remy's worth remembering.

Gabby! Where are you?

- I'm right here.
- Heh.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Gabby?

Yeah.

What's with the clothes and the hair?
You look different.

I am different.

Cricket, I've changed.

I've fully embraced the darkness in which
this ever-tormenting world entraps us in.

But I just saw you on Wednesday.
You did all this since Wednesday?

Girls mature faster than boys, Cricket.

And I've matured.

Whoa! [grunts]

[laughs]

You seem like you haven't.

Yeah. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

So we aren't compatible anymore.

Oh, come on.
You always laugh at that stuff.

You just need a little refresher.

I know you ain't forgot about
all the good memories

we made with old Tootsie here.

Uh-oh. I'm taking a seat!

Do it, Gabby. I'm wide open.

- [gasps]
- I'm not into pranks anymore, Cricket.

We're too different.

Our relationship is nothing more than
a corpse stuck in rigor mortis.

That's why we have to break up.

Gabriella!

[exhales]

She really did break up with me.

Maybe it's for the best.

Wait, no! I'll just make us compatible.

Yeah, if Gabriella has changed,
then so shall I!

Congratulations, Samuel!

You've been awarded Best Smile.

Please present your teeth for a photo.

[Sue] Now say cheese!

Cheese!

Remy, what are you doing?

Just having a smile.

A smile some might say is superlative.

- Meh.
- Wait.

I can do something else.

Oh, Phoebe, look at you.

You are perfect for most athletic.

Not if I'm faster. Ready, set, go!

[panting]

[gasps] So dapper.

Clearly the best-dressed.

Oh, come on!

I'm perfect for best-dressed.

I've been wearing
a chic designer sweater vest

every day since you met me.

Hmm. Remy does have a point.

But can your sweater vest do this?

- [all gasp]
- Oh, so mesmerizing!

- Wow.
- Show those shoes!

Oh, I'm never going to win superlative
trying to catch up like this.

What am I going to do?

Knock, knock.

Hey, I've been thinking about
what you said, Gabriella,

about us being too different,
and I came up with a solution.

I'm gonna go goth, just like you.

Why?

Because I want us to stay together.

And if I gotta change
to make this work, I'll do it.

I see.

If you did go goth, I guess
we would be compatible again.

I'm cool with giving it a try.

Whoo-hoo! Crick-riella back at it again!

But Cricket, to become goth,

you must say goodbye to childish things
and embrace the void.

Can you do this?

Hmph!

Please, teach me, Dark Mistress.

- [bats screech]
- [♪ gothic music playing]

♪ Love is gone
You must turn into something new ♪

♪ Transform your face
into looking like a raccoon ♪

♪ The silly goose life,
it will no longer do ♪

♪ Become engulfed
in the darkness through and through ♪

♪ Dark pants, dark shirt ♪

♪ Dark heart, dark words ♪

♪ No more goose
Don't smile or even smirk ♪

♪ No emotion left
The darkness do all the work ♪

♪ So be goth or be gone
Be goth ♪

♪ You must listen to this song ♪

♪ Be goth or be gone ♪

♪ Gabby's right and you're wrong ♪

[farts]

Your transformation is complete.

So we're like...

- back together?
- Yep.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh... I mean...

whatever.

[bats screech]

Man, I'm still so bummed about
Cricket and Gabriella breaking up.

Yeah, you and the rest of the world!

[♪ gothic music playing]

[dryly] 'Sup?

- Wook! It's Cwick-wiella!
- [gasps]

They're back together!

And goth, apparently?

I'll take it!

That's right. We've reunited.

The dark times have begun.

Now that the cutest couple
is back together,

let's get that yearbook photo!

So, where do you kids want to take it?

Behind the bleachers,
where it's dark and desolate.

- Just like us.
- [both exhale]

- Hmm?
- Eh.

it's your picture.

Okay, now smile.

Come on, cutest couple.
The camera's your friend.

Serve up some looks.

What gives?

Go on, have some fun.

We are having fun.

We are?

Perhaps last year's
novelty props will inspire

the merrymaking within you.

No, Tilly.

We reject the frivolous whimsy of youth.

We find beauty in the shadows,
and our very souls yearn

for the shroud of death itself.

Isn't that right, Cricket?

Oh, uh, um, um...

- Cricket?
- Huh?

Uh, yeah,
darkness yearning in the shroud, um...

But maybe I do a little yearning for

just one teensy prank.

Hey, Gregly, you thirsty?

I scream all the time!

I'm incredibly parched, you idiot!

Cricket, if you succumb
to your Harlequin urges,

then our love will truly be nevermore.

- Eh?
- [drooling]

- [yelps]
- No!

Don't give in.

[grunts]

Why don't you take a refreshing sip?

Sheesh! Took you long enough.

[screaming]

Get it off! Get it off!

[laughing]

Oh, man!

Well, I don't know what just happened,

but I got a decent shot.

It's a far cry from
last year's cutest couple photo, though.

Come on, Tilly.
Let's send it off to Brent.

- [laughs]
- [sighs]

[Remy] Wait!

Give me one more chance. I can be...

most flexible.

[grunts]

See?

Remy, you must stop this.

Not until I get that title.

[groans]

The only title that fits you is
Mr. Doesn't-Know-When-To-Quit.

[gasps]

I love it. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

No, Remy, that's not--

Finally, I have

a legacy!

[sniffles]

Give us a smile, you insatiable loon!

- [camera shutter clicking]
- Ah.

Hey.

Look, Cricket,
I don't know how to say this,

- but I think we should--
- Break up?

Yeah, I think so, too.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

I guess I just thought since
we used to have fun,

we'd always have fun as a couple.

So I tried to force us back together.

But you've changed,
while I'm still the same old Cricket.

And that's okay.

It just means we really
ain't gonna work together anymore.

Thanks for being cool
with all this, Cricket.

Though, I'm not sure how the rest of
the kids are gonna take the news.

[Benny] Yeah, whatever.

Cwik-wiella is so irrelevant.

We like Snegly now!

What? No!

Me and this prank snake are not a couple!

Ha-ha! Wheezy-seezies.
You found your main squeezy.

I think I'm rightfully appalled right now!

Snegly forever!

- Snegly, Snegly!
- Yay!

Well, that was easy.

At least we can stay friends?

[exhales] Mm, maybe?

No, yeah, totally. That's fair.

Goodbye, Cricket.

Man, dating's weird.

[all] Snegly, Snegly, Snegly!

Shut up!

[croaks]

- [grunts]
- [laughs] Great throw, Papa.

Whoo! Eight skips.
That's a new personal record.

Too pointy. [grunts] Too chunky. [grunts]

Ew, too rocky. [grunts]

It's not just about the rock, Cricket.

It's about the gripper of the skipper.

The speed and angle of their throw.

- Their--
- Cool story, Dad.

I just huck 'em. [grunts]

[chuckles]

[Tilly] Eleven skips!

Congratulations, brother.
You have bested Papa's record.

Yeah!

I knew this arm was meant for greatness.

Oh, now hold on!
Cricket couldn't have beaten my record.

Tilly, you must have miscounted.

No, Papa. I'm an excellent counter.

Number one.

Dang it, you're right.

You're still banned from
Big Mart's jelly bean counting contest.

Wow, Dad.

I think this is the first time
I've beaten you at, well, anything.

Yeah, that's... true.

So, seeing as I beat you
at skipping rocks,

does this mean I can... skip my chores?

- No.
- Dang.

Well, if you need me,
I'll be in the chicken coop.

And I'm off to do some other thing.

This doesn't feel right.

Dads are supposed to be better at stuff
than their kids.

Well, surely it won't happen again.

I should test it, though.

Hmm.

Where in the heck did I put that thing?

Put what?

My dang casserole dish.

Well, when's the last time you used it?

I think when Trey crashed his four-wheeler
into the feeding seat.

Oh, and I made him that
get-better tater tot casserole.

[chuckles] Crash?

But, uh, wasn't that six weeks ago?

Sorry, Nance.

That dish is long gone.

No, it isn't. I'm sure they just forgot.

I'll simply ride over
and ask for it to be returned.

- Problem solved.
- Then I'll tag along.

You know, just in case
things end up getting... violent.

I loves me a good fight.

No one's fighting, Dad.

[scoffs] No one ever fights anymore.

[Cricket babbling]

[laughs] That'll never not be weird.

- Hey there, son.
- Hey, Dad.

I was thinking you and I
could have a friendly competition.

Balance an egg on a spoon race?

Just for funsies.

Uh, sure. Sounds like...

Race to the back door, go!

Ohohohohoho! It's on, old man.

Hah! We'll see who's the old man
when I beat you, boy.

Not even these hay bales can stop me.

[chuckles] Huh?

[laughing]

This is fun!

[grunts]

[panting]

[panting]

[chuckles]

[exclaims]

[effort grunts]

Ha! Hey, I won!

[groans]

Wow, I can't believe it.

That makes one, two... Two times!

Oh, looks like you got
a little egg on your face.

Heh. Silly guy.

Well, I'm going to go finish my chores.
See you, Pops.

Oh, Papa, Cricket beat you again?

Today is not your day.

[groans]

All right, here we are.

We're just gonna ask for the dish
and be in and out. Easy.

Oh, my stars! Nick and Nancy?

Hi, Tracy.

What a treat. Get your tushies in here.

Welcome to Shangri-La.

That's French for living room.

[all grunting]

Oh, you remember the triplets.

Don't mind them. Just teething.

[snarling]

Oh, precious as ever.

And I must say, I just love
your strong sense of decor.

Thank you.

- Ugh!
- Hey, Trey.

Y'all here for some tubbing? Oh, sh**t.

We're going to need more bubbles.
Hit me, baby.

Oh, bubbly.

Actually, we were just passing by
and I thought I could get back

that casserole dish
I lent you a while ago.

Wait, what?

Lent us? That was a gift, wasn't it?

It certainly was.
Now you want to take your gift back?

No, no, y'all. The casserole was the gift.

The dish was supposed to be returned.

Babe, I don't think
Nancy knows how gifts work.

[scoffs] Of course I know how gifts work.

From where I'm tubbing,
it don't look like you do.

[all grunting]

Yeah, I've got my own gift to return.

Which way to the can?

Hmph!

All right, I'll just
let you guys sort out your business

while I, uh, sort out mine.

Nancy Green, you are something else.

Slide over, sugar.
Mama needs some wet heat.

[both] Harrumph!

Oh!

Come on, Bill. You're the dad.

You cannot let your son beat you again.

Think, Bill. Think.

What's something you know
you're better at than Cricket?

[gasps] Of course.

I think I have a whittle idea.

[laughs]

Wow, Dad.

You've never asked me
to whittle with you before.

I know it's kind of your special thing.

It is my special thing, isn't it?

Spent years whittling.

Put in at least 10,000 hours,

which some would say makes me
a master of my craft.

Whoa! Nice work, Dad.

Oh, thank you, Cricket.

But remember, if your carving
isn't as detailed as mine,

- that's perfectly--
- Here's mine.

[exclaims]

Whoa!

I made a rooster just like you.

[Bill] The subtle inlaid feathers.

The fine grit sanding
on its rounded edges.

It even has details separating
the wattle from...

[gulps]

Its neck.

Well, I guess not just like you.

I added a few embellishments.

[funny voice] Hey, Dad!

Ain't I the coolest rooster
you've ever seen?

You used a combo dovetail biscuit joint
for the beak?

How did you do that?

Oh, it's easy, Dad.

Just put your hands here,
move the knife like this,

but watch out. The pointy part is sharp.

Now, why don't you try?

[grumbles]

Oh!

Aw, don't worry. You'll get it, champ.

[grunts]

Okay, that's it.

You! Me! Barn! Ten minutes.

Hey, Dad. It's been ten minutes.
Where are you?

Oh, my gosh!

A wrestling ring?

This is gonna be fun.

So, you think you're better
than your old man?

What's that, Dad?

[clicks tongue]

[bleats]

[bell rings]

Whatcha gonna do
when Bill-mania runs wild over you?

- [roars]

[laughing]

What?

Look, Nance, we all agree
the food was a gift,

and the gift came in a dish.

So are you saying that
if you got me a present,

I'm supposed to return the wrapping paper?

I ain't ever heard of that.

Oh, that's not the same thing.
That's my dish.

You can't just take it.

Are you calling us dish thieves,
Nancy Green?

You best be careful what you say next.

[Tracy] I know a lawyer.

[Trey] He was here tubbin' just last week.

Where's that dang casserole dish?

[snarling]

Hah! This'll be like taking
a casserole dish from a baby.

Ah! Three babies are
much stronger than one.

- [gasps]
- He's stealing our kids.

And more importantly, our casserole dish.

He's not stealing it.

He's taking back what's rightfully mine.
Run, Dad, run!

Keep the kids!

[all barking]

[screaming]

[groans]

Whoo!

Did you really think you could beat
Big Papa Bill Green?

I don't understand

what... is...

happening!

[grunts] Are you mad at me or something?

Can't we just hug it out? [grunts]

Do you understand now, boy?

I'm the papa, and I'm number one!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- Haha!
- [exclaims]

Now admit defeat! Say uncle!

But that doesn't make any sense!

Say it!

Say uncle!

But you're my dad!

[grunting]

Huh?

What am I doing?

I have no idea.

[gasps] Sweet baby boy. Oh, I'm sorry.

What the heck was that about?

I don't know.

You've been so darn good
at stuff lately, and, well...

I'm not used to you being better than me.

But the only reason
I'm any good at that other stuff

is 'cause you're my dad.

I mean, you taught me everything I know.

- You. Me. Pond.

Ah, jeez! What now?

Can you imagine borrowing a casserole dish

and never giving it back?

[laughs] Who does that?

- I'll tell you who does it.
- Uh-huh

- Nancy Green, that's who.
- Hmm?

"Property of Good Ol' Joe"?

[tires screech]

What? Let me see that.

Hmm. Oh.

Crud, that's right.
This dish was never mine.

Good old Joe let me borrow it
like eight months ago.

But he probably meant it as a gift, right?

Okay, looks like we have
one more stop to make.

[sighs]

All these tarts
and nothing to bake them in.

- [clunking]
- Hmm?

Good old Nance.

You sure you want a rematch, Dad?

Mm-hmm.

All right, here comes the huck!

- [gasps]
- [Tilly] Cricket wins again!

With nine skips to papa's seven.

And the crowd is going wild!

[imitates rock voice] Cricket rocks!

So, you're not mad that I beat you again?

Not at all. This is great.

- What?
- You see,

you helped me realize that your successes

should be my successes.

When you outdo me,
it shows that you're growing.

And I'm proud of that, son.

And there goes Papa,

delivering a healthy
and well-measured perspective.

And the crowd is...

[whispers] speechless.

So, you really don't care that I beat you?

Nope. Because when I lose, you win.

And when you win, I win too.

Okay, but you know
that I actually won the contest, right?

And so did I.

But I, like, "won" won.

Me too.

But I skipped the stone
more times than you!

Which is why I won.

[sighs] You sure did, champ. You sure did.

[♪ closing theme song playing]

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet
and got bit by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog
Bit by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my leg
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow, I'll do it all again ♪