04x30 - Rehashed History/Unplanned

[bunniefuu]

[♪ theme music playing]

♪ One, two...
One, two three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

[announcer] Hater Smasher!

- Oh, that's a big hater.
- Smash 'em, Cricket!

[Cricket] Trying. Eh, he's too quick.

- Remy, could you...
- On it.

- Ooh, Cricket, could you...
- Wipin' away your sweat now.

- Ah, I got an eyelash.
- Here, make a wish.

[blows] Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Watch out for his hater beam!

- [exclaiming]
- [announcer] You win!

- Whoa!
- Whoo! Yeah!

[both cheering, exclaiming]

My, my, my.

You two are the image of best friendship.

Y'all have been ever since you first met.

Well, that ain't exactly true.

Our friendship almost ended
before it even got off the ground!

Cricket's talking about our
first ever friend outing.

We don't bring it up much,
'cause it makes one of us look bad.

Yes, it does.

What exactly happened?

Well, the story begins right
after we moved to Big City.

Oh, geez, he's ten minutes late!

What if he doesn't show up?

[screaming]

- Cricket!
- Remy! Sorry I'm late.

I would have been here sooner,
but I saw this super shiny penny.

But then a squirrel took it
and climbed up a tree.

So I climbed up after it,
and then I caught this bird.

[cooing]

Anyway, what'd you wanna show me?

Oh, nothing.

Just my favorite place in the whole world,

the Big City Science and History Museum.

I come here all the time.

In fact, I'm a gold level member.

As a gold member, I'm allowed
to bring one free guest with me.

Remy, I would be honored to be your guest.

- Let's do this!
- Yeah!

[both stammering]

Heh. We'll work on that later.

Whoa.

This place is amazing.

Really? You like it? I mean,
I think the museum is fun,

but I'm not sure if it's fun for
other people and aah, now I'm rambling!

Oh, what the heck is this thing?

Allow me.

Welcome to the Big City
Science and History Museum,

where we strive to swell
every brain with knowledge!

Yeesh, what the heck's
wrong with that thing?

Why, absolutely nothing, my dear boy.

- [both yelp]
- [laughs]

Another excellent entrance, sir!

Cricket, I'd like to introduce
you to my idol,

Dr. Ponderstein.

Not only is he the museum curator,

but he also decides who gets
the Elite Platinum Membership.

That's correct, Remy.
If you play your cards right,

then one day you could be in
the Platinum Club.

Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh... Platinum?

Oh, and I see you've brought
a hungry new vessel

to our place of learning. Well done.

Now come along, boys.
There's so much to be learned.

[both laugh]

I don't know why we're laughing, but okay.

First up, Horse Couture
of the French Nobility.

- No touching!
- [groans]

Here we have Greco-Roman snail wrestling.

Some Baby Kings and my personal favorite,

the royal handkerchief
collection of Prince Dankmire.

[blowing]

Now, who here wants to see
the tiny heart of a worker ant

enlarged three hundred times to scale?

- [all agreeing]
- Wow, that sounds incredible.

Isn't this place great, Cricket?

Cricket? Come on, Cricket.

There's a strict no lingering policy.

I wanna show you something.
Get over here, pal.

- Puh-puh-puh-puh-pal?
- Quickly, right this way.

Move along.

Uh, coming. [chuckling]

Pal. So, Cricket, what do
you want to show me?

Oh, nothing. Just kidding. It's this.

I look so distinguished.

[gasps] You touched it.

The sign says we can't do that.

Yeah, but look what happens
when I touch that.

[gasps] Do touch!

Go on, give it a try.

[grunts] You can do this, Remy.

- Got it!
- Nice one.

Now go on, give her a spin.

[blowing]

Huh, it's a lot scratchier
than I expected.

Gosh, I've seen this hanky so many times,

but I had no idea what it
actually felt like.

See, you're learning
all kinds of new stuff.

What else in here have
you always wanted to touch?

Well...

[♪ music playing on record]

[both laughing]

[giggles] Mmm.

[both laughing]

Remy, this is the most fun I've ever had.

Me, too. I've always wanted
to ride a dinosaur.

Dinosaur? I thought this
was just a really big chicken.

What? Delinquents.
Get off of that exhibit.

Wow. I didn't know people rode dinosaurs.

No! Unlearn that. It's inaccurate.

- Uh-oh.
- Come on, Remy. Follow my lead.

Hup. [yelps]

Whoa! [grunts]

Wait for me.

Whoa!

The jig is up, hooligan.

[gasps] Remy?

The museum and I are
very disappointed in you.

I'm afraid I have no choice but to
revoke your museum gold membership.

No! Not that!

I won't be allowed in
the Butterfly Garden anymore!

And the Monarch Chrysalis
has just hatched!

- I know. Emma's stunning.
- [Cricket] Psst, Remy!

Remy, get out of there!

[grunts, laughs]

What a dolt!

It's as if this boy's brain
is totally empty.

Which means he'd be the perfect specimen

for my new education experiment.

[Remy] Um, Dr. Ponderstein,

I'm really sorry I caused
all that trouble,

but I promise I will do whatever it takes

to get my gold status back.

Whatever it takes, you say?

Forget about gold, Remy.

I have a platinum opportunity for you.

[laughs maliciously]

Oh, man, oh, man. I hope Remy's okay...

- [Remy] Cricket!
- [gasps]

- Cricket!
- Remy!

Boy, am I glad to see you.
I knew you'd get away.

[chuckles nervously] Yep, sure did.

Everything is now good and not bad.

Now, uh... follow me.

I want... need... show you something.

Well, that all sounds
perfectly normal to me. Let's go.

Whoa. Oh, look.

These fellers don't wear shoes either.

These are my people.

Ha. I'm glad you like it, Cricket.

But I think you'll appreciate
the exhibit even more

if you take five steps this way.

Ooh, you're right. This ain't bad.

Look, Remy, I'm real sorry about before.
I never meant for you to get in trouble.

From now on, I won't do anything
to harm your museum status.

Wow, Cricket. That's so nice of you.

Don't worry.

Ponderstein gave me a second chance.

I'm just glad we're back together.
A couple of pals. [yells]

What's going on?

Oh, foolish boy.

A Neanderthal would never use
a 19th-century Portuguese butterfly net.

But you don't know that.
You don't know anything.

Great work, Remy.

As promised, here's your reward.

You've earned it.

Wha-- Remy, you did this on purpose?

- How could you?
- [laughing maniacally]

You traitor! I thought we were pals!

[echoing] Pals! Pals! Pals!

Well, I'm finally platinum.

Yay.

[yelps] What is this place?

You're in my private study,

where you'll be undergoing
my experimental education procedure.

No, I hate books.
They're just boring trees.

Time to teach you a lesson. Literally.

Wait, TVs? Huh. That ain't so bad.

[Ponderstein on TV] The History of Wax.

Wait, what is this?

Why we yawn. How dust forms.
Why ants dream.

How we see. Pregnancy: explored.

Carpets, rugs and more. How cars work.

No, it's all boring lessons and stuff.

Yes, it's called education.

Now sit back and let
your sponge of a brain soak it up.

- [laughs evilly]
- No, no, no!

Platinum Boy coming through.

And it only cost me my friendship.

Hmm.

[Ponderstein] Louie and Kirk were
famous 19th-century explorers,

but their profound,
world-changing discoveries don't matter.

What really made them special
was their friendship.

No matter what trials they faced,

the two never lost sight
of what was most important, each other.

[laughs]

I gotta save my pal.

Blegh, metamorphosis, mildew.

Oh, yes, it's working. He's absorbing it.

Oh, I need to commemorate
this occasion with a photo.

I'll be back with my


Hmm.

Now, smile and say cheese.

[gasps] Baby King?
What are you doing here?

[creaking]

- [Remy yelps]
- Remy?

Come on, Cricket. Snap out of it!

Rembrandt... Rem... Remy... Remy?

What are you doing here,
you traitor? You Brutus!

You Benedict Arnold!
Oh, sh**t, dang, I learned a lot.

I'm sorry, Cricket.
I got so caught up in trying

- to climb the ranks, I forgot--
- It's fine.

Just get me out of here, then
you and your platinum pals

can do whatever you want.

- Cricket, I'm...
- Aah!

End of the line, Remy.
I'll make it simple.

Give up your friend or
give up your platinum status.

Your choice.

Go ahead, Remy. I know how much
you love being platinum.

No!

I've had more fun today with Cricket

than I have the last


And that's saying something
because this place is sensational.

He's my pal.

And that means way more to me
than some stupid card.

So you can have it back.

Whoa! Ha, you missed.

[bells ding]

[Ponderstein] No!
Dinosaurs landing on the moon?

Impossible!

Electricity being discovered by wolves?

- Hey, I didn't know that.
- No, you know that isn't true.

Oh, this is all wrong.

- [crackling]
- [yelling]

- Uh, we should probably just...
- Yep.

Wow, that got pretty crazy.
Usually it's not like that.

Yeah, my brain hurts, but I still had fun.

- [siren wails]
- Thanks for bringing me.

Remy, are you really all right
giving up your museum card?

That's okay. I've learned all I can
from that place anyway.

I think I learned more
from hanging out with you.

Same here. Now put 'er there, pal!

[both exclaiming]

- Yeah!
- We did it!

- One more time?
- Don't push it, Remy.

So now you know why

we don't like to talk about
what happened at that museum.

Yes, that reason being you betrayed me

all for some stupid membership card.

It wasn't stupid.
And if you actually cared,

I wouldn't have had to betray you.

Oh, whatever. This was all your fault.

- This was all your fault?
- Now, now, boys.

Perhaps you're looking at this wrong.

The reason your friendship
is so strong now

is because of the trials
and tribulations of that day.

So really, whoever's at fault
is the person responsible

for solidifying a wonderful friendship.

So what you're saying is
it was my selfishness

that saved the day. This was all my fault.

What? I betrayed you.

Our awesome friendship is totally on me.

Oh, please.

Without me, we never would have
gone through our enemies-to-friends arc.

But I was the one who betrayed your trust.

Oh, come on. No, no, Remy.

- [continues indistinctly]
- It was me.

Now when it comes to handling
old electronic equipment,

one must use a delicate and precise hand.

[grunts] Come on.

Cricket, that thing's older than you are.

- Don't break it.
- Ah, I can't wait to see

what's on these old family videos.

- I'm surprised we still have them.
- Come on, boy.

Wrangle that gizmo.

There we go.

[all exclaiming]

Now, which to watch first?
Let's see here. Aha!

[Tilly] Aw! Is that you two
on your wedding day?

Why I let your dad feed me chocolate cake
in a white dress is beyond me.

Ow, don't flick.

Cricket, see if you can
find one from our trip to Ocean Beach.

[Bill] Hey, check out my moves.

[all laughing]

Sorry, wish I didn't. Moving on.

[Tilly] Aw, it's me and Gramma.

[Gramma] Hot dang, I was fine.

Huh, I don't remember this one.

[Bill] Ma, take the camera
for a sec, would ya?

Aw, I love being a dad.

This is the happiest
I've ever been my entire life.

Oh, just you wait, Dad.

Once I'm born, you'll be twice as happy.

Wait, is this the one?

[Nancy] Uh, Bill?

- Look, Tilly, wave to mama.
- Bill, we're, uh...

we're gonna have another baby.

- Uh, Cricket, turn it off!
- What?

- Why?
- You're pregnant?

No!

We're not prepared for another kid, Nance.

One and done! That was the plan, remember?

One and done!

[blows raspberry]

One and done?

- What the heck is that supposed to mean?
- Nothing!

It means nothing! Just forget about it.

This is old. It's all just old.

[Cricket] Wow, you were really
freaking out, Dad.

It's almost like
you didn't want a second kid.

Uh... [clears throat]
now why would you say that?

I don't want a second kid!
This family's at max capacity!

- Bill, give me the camera!
- No!

The world must know!

[gulps]

I have no memory of this
because I was two at the time

and my hippocampus wasn't fully developed.

But I'm glad you were born, brother.

Yeah, Nancy was an oopsie baby, too.

Must run in the family.

Heh. Good talk.

Cricket, sometimes in life,
a surprise baby arrives.

It was a curveball for everyone,
especially your dad.

But we are all so happy you're here.

- Right, Bill?
- Uh, that's right.

Cricket, listen to me.
Just ignore this old video.

You're fine, and you're here,

and all that, right?
So how about we just move on

and watch something else?

- [♪ music playing]
- [gasps] Goat ballet!

Ha-ha, that's fun!

Yeah, animals, am I right?

Hey, buddy, you okay?

Uh, yeah.

How about I go make us
a snack? Be right back.

[Cricket] "One and done"?

"Max capacity"?

"I don't want a second kid"?

Well, if that's the case,

I'll give dad exactly what
he wanted in the first place.

One kid.

Ah, I love mornings. A fresh start.

It's like yesterday never happened.

- All right, family, breakfast time.
- Where's Cricket?

He's usually three pancakes deep by now.

I think he's upstairs. I'll go get him.

It's not like Cricket to miss breakfast.

You think he's okay
after seeing that video?

You did say some
intense stuff in it, Bill.

Come on, that video's like a decade old.

Cricket knows how much I love him.

Look, I just made him a special pancake.

Um, Cricket's not in his room.

I'm not really sure where he is.

Guys, Cricket is fine.

He's probably huckin' junk
into the pond or something.

But I suppose breakfast can
wait while we look for him.

I'm sure he's just somewhere
around the farm.

Man, I can't believe Dad
didn't even want me born.

I feel like somebody yanked
a rug right out from underneath. [yelps]

[groans]

Ah. [munches]

Cotton candy?

Is that a circus?

Holy-Cricky-fun-time-treasure-trove!

Wow.

Did I die and go to little boy heaven?

[gasps] This trampoline looks amazing!

Eh, Dad would never let me jump on it.

But that's not a problem anymore.

[grunting]

[laughing]

- Yeah! Whee!
- [man] Hey, kid!

[screams]

[growls]

I'm sorry. Please don't eat me!

Enrique, knock that off.
You're scaring the poor kid.

Don't mind him. He's a freak.

- In fact, we're all freaks.
- What?

It's the circus. What'd you expect?

You got good hops, kid.

But what exactly are you doing here?

Well, I'm running away from home.

I found video evidence
that my dad wished I wasn't born.

Aw, jeez! That's rough, kid.

Well, you're in the right place now.

Here at the Fantasmico Family Circus,
we're our own family.

- Isn't that right, Long-Beard Bob?
- You darn tootin'!

We take care of each other.

[horn tooting]

Hah. Precious weirdos.

Oh, boy. Got to prepare for our next show.

Now, you're welcome to stay and watch,

but you'd be more welcome
to be in the show.

You want me in the show?

Ladies and gentlemen,

kids of all ages,
we proudly present to you

the Fantasmico Family Circus.

[horn tooting]

Roar!

[all cheering]

Now, please welcome our special guest,

the death-defying, magnificent,
daredevil extraordinaire,

The Hopping Cricket!

- Yeah.
- [all gasp]

Whee! [grunts]

[laughing]

- Ta-da!
- [crowd cheering]

They love ya, kid.

[crowd chanting]
Cricket! Cricket! Cricket!

[Bill] Cricket?

Cricket?

Dang it, would you please just come out?

He's not in the treehouse.

He wasn't in the cellar neither.

And he wasn't on the couch
watching monster truck rallies

and eating chocolate pudding.

- What?
- Papa, I rechecked Cricket's room

and found this.

[Bill reading]

Ran away?

Is Cricket really that upset
about something I said years ago?

Come on, let's get moving.

Hopefully Cricket hasn't gone too far.

Yeah, okay.

Great show, everyone. Now eat up.

- You guys deserve it.
- Sheesh, this is the life.

A super fun show followed by
heaps of super delicious food.

Also, real talk, does that guy
ever take off the suit?

No.

The only thing better than
circus food is circus company.

And Cricket, I know I speak
for all of us when I say

you already feel like part
of the Fantasmico family.

Wow, that means a lot.
And I'm having so much fun.

Do you think I could stay
and perform in another show?

I still gotta give the cannon a try.

Well, you're welcome to
stay with us as long as you'd like,

but we're packing up
and leaving town tonight.

Speaking of... Come on, people!

- Time to get a move on!
- Toodle-oo!

All right, babies, time for night-night.

Wait, you guys are leaving already?

Yep, that's life on the road.

But hey, we got plenty of room for you.

It's your call, kiddo.

Life on the road?

- Cricket!
- We know you're out there!

- Cricket! Cricket!
- He's not in this row, Papa.

- Or this one. Or this one. Or this one.
- [sighs]

Where the heck could he have gone?

If you ask me,
you're going about this all wrong.

See, I've been running away
from stuff my whole life.

The way I see it, we gotta
stop looking for Cricket

and start looking for trouble.

'Cause that's where he's headed. Trouble.

Yeah, well, that or jail. Or dead.

He could always be dead.
Sorry, I'm kind of rambling.

- Usually somebody cuts me off by now.
- Shut up!

Look, there's Dweezil.
Maybe he's seen Cricket.

Yo, Dweez, you see my grandson anywhere?

- Yay high, bad haircut.
- Hmm.

Matter of fact, I did see a kid like that.

It probably wasn't your grandson, though.

What makes you say that?

'Cause he was performing with
that circus that's in town.

Talented little fella.

Circus? Cricket loves the circus.

Plenty of trouble to get into there.

Come on, family! Let's go get him.

[panting] Cricket!

He's... gone?

Oh, Bill. Being a parent is hard.

You make mistakes and you never
quite know the right thing to say.

Like right now, I don't know whether

to comfort you
or tell you to move your butt,

and chase down that circus train!

[gasps] Cricket! Hang on, son!

- Wait!
- [train horn toots]

- Huh? Dad?
- [panting]

- Cricket! Get off of there!
- Why are you chasing after me?

You made it crystal clear
that you don't want me!

No, Cricket.

I've always wanted you,
even when I didn't know it.

What the heck is that supposed to mean?

When I learned your mom was pregnant, I...

I was shocked.

And I... I...

I didn't mean any of that stuff.

You were a surprise. I was surprised.

I swear, I never meant to hurt you.

Yeah, well, it doesn't matter anymore.

I found people who actually
want me around.

So go ahead and run,
but you're not gonna stop me.

[panting, grunts]

You're right. I can't stop you, Cricket.

Nobody can.

Nothing was gonna stop you
from coming into this world.

Because you're unstoppable, Cricket.

Unstoppable!

Just know...

[panting]

I...

I love you.

That's the guy who doesn't
want you around?

He's a heck of a runner.

So what do you wanna do?

[panting]

What?

- [grunts]
- [chuckles] I love you too, Dad.

- Well, don't forget about us.
- Nance, you're crushing me!

Okay, Cricket, that's it.

[laughs] Good job.

[laughing] Yah!

[Bill chuckles] Oop, sorry, Ma.

And finished. What do you think, son?

Mmm... [gasps]

[grunts] Oh, you're helping out?

Hi, Mama.

And this one's from Cricket.

[croaks]

- [laughing]
- Oh, he's tickling me.

Okay, ready?

[both laughing]

Keep the line. Hold steady. Yes!

- You're amazing!
- [laughs]

[Nancy] Okay, boys. Nice smiles.

[both exclaiming, laughing]