11x21 - Debbie

[bunniefuu]

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Oh, that's okay.

You just about totaled your own Fender.

Well, I'm not so worried about that.

I hope I didn't hurt your car.

No, you just left a lot of your paint on my bumper.

Oh, I just, I just feel like such a fool.

You're not going to cry, are you?

Well, I mean, your Fender could probably be fixed.

You know something?

You're very understanding.

Thanks.

No, I really mean it.

You're a very understanding person.

Yeah, well, I wish I could help you.

Debbie, I wish you could, too.

Well, my name is Ernie Douglas.

Oh, come on, now.

You're not going to tell me you're Ernie Douglas.

Sure.



Right.

Right.

Jeopardy, how did you know?

Are you kidding?

Oh, wow.

Well, never mind.

I don't want you to get a swell head.

A swell head?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Oh.

Oh, but what about the debt?

Oh, well, that's life, isn't it?

Oh, wait till I tell the girls that I met Ernie Douglas.

Yeah.

Well, uh, nice meeting you, Deb.

Bye-bye.

Where have you... Where have you been?

Driving past plate glass windows to catch your reflection?

I got into a little accident in the
parking lot with a very far-out girl.

What are you trying to tell me,
that our car got totaled by a Martian?

Our car's fine.

She was just real smooth.

I mean, real smooth.

I'll tell you what you do.

You go in the living room and tell the story to your dad.

I got a dinner to cook.

So the whole thing was obviously her fault, Dad.

I just felt sorry for her.

Well, Ernie, if there was no damage to our
car, I'd trust your judgment, but I still

think you should have taken a look at her driver's license.

How come, Dad?

Well, for one thing, it's the proper procedure.

Even if one of the cars isn't damaged?

That's right.

And even if the girl is real smooth.

What'll k*ll you, Dad, is a great-looking chick like
that already got wind of me through the grapevine.

Hmm.

That kills me.

That kills me.

Am I coming on like a dumb kid, Dad?

No, no, no, I didn't say that, Ernie.

I just think it, uh, well, it sounds like the
girl might have maneuvered you a little.

No, really, she was real sincere.

Well, I'll get it.

Oh, Friday.

It's probably the paper boy to hit you for
the three bucks again.

Yeah, for the paper we keep canceling and
he keeps throwing in the bushes.

That's the one.

He ought to be a millionaire by the time he's 12.

Yeah.

Debbie!

Hi, Ernie.

I hope you don't think it's forwarded me.

I don't think there's anything just stopping by like this.

Heck no.

I just thought I'd swallow my inhibitions
and meet the people that I really want to meet.

After all, you only live once.

I've said the same thing a million times.

Oh, come on in.

I'd like you to meet my dad.

Dad, this is Debbie.

Hello, Debbie.

How do you do, Mr. Douglas?

Mmm, that's nice smelling tobacco.

Is it different or something?

Well, it's kind of a special mixture I get
down at the shop.

Why, just a little.

I just love it.

Does it have burley in it?

Yeah, as a matter of fact, it does have some burley in it.

Oh.

You gentlemen will have to wait a while for the grub.

Oh, excuse me.

Uncle Charley, I'd like you to meet Debbie.

Debbie, this is my Uncle Charley, O'Casey.

Glad to meet you, Debbie.

Oh, Mr. O'Casey will meet an O'Reilly.

No kidding.

Mm-hmm.

Both of the grandparents on my father's
side were born in Dublin.

And I have to tell you the most amazing coincidence.

Well, what's that?

They have a photograph of a famous Irish
actor who was the handsomest man in his day.

You could be his double.

Oh, yeah.

Now, what was his name?

Maybe we're related.

I think it was Hannigan or Halloran, something like that.

The minute I saw you, the picture just flashed in my mind.

Well, that's natural.

Well, I have to go, but I just had to stop by for a second.

Oh, what's the rush?

Oh, I have to get home and make my... make myself
dinner and take the dog out before my folks get home.

They've been out of town.

Oh, well, stay here for dinner.

We got plenty.

Oh, no.

Giving in to your impulses is one thing, but
accepting dinner from people you hardly know is.

...

is really quite another.

Well, I've got a couple of pleats in your Fender
that prove we know each other pretty darn well.

It really won't be any trouble, Debbie.

But Charley says we have plenty.

Well, three handsome men asking a girl to
dinner, what can she say but yes?

And there I was, helpless as always,
on the highway, when this big,

burly truck driver type stopped and
changed the tires in five minutes.

Imagine, it would have taken me a half hour just to open
up the trunk, and he did the whole thing in five minutes.

Well, listen, it ain't a lady's place to change tires.

Oh, uh, have some more pudding.

Oh, no, thank you.

We women have to watch our way, don't we?

Mrs. Douglas, thank you.

This has just been a marvelous meal, especially the roast.

Oh, well, thank you, but Charley made the roast.

You didn't.

Sure, me and Barbara, we, uh, split up the
cooking, but tonight I happen to run up the roast.

I can't get over the man in this family.

Mr. O'Casey can do all sorts of things.

Ernie knows so much about cars,
and Mr. Douglas is an aerospace engineer.

Do you, uh, plan on going to college, Debbie?

Oh, right now, I'm at City College so I
can get some grades together.

I'm going to get into UCLA, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, I thought you were still in high school.

Oh, no, I graduated last semester,
so we're not that far apart.

What do you think you'll major in?

Well, Mr. Douglas, I don't know.

There are only two things that I've wanted
to be ever since I was a little girl.

A nurse and a fireman.

I imagine a nursing career would be a
little easier than being a fireman.

Well, again, this has been the most marvelous meal.

The food was perfect and the company was even better.

Would you walk me to the door?

Sure.

Sure?

Charley, I think she met Ernie.

Oh, man, you're having to run across that
picture of that Irish actor while you don't forget me.

Oh, I won't, Mr. Casey.

And again, thank you.

I hope to see you soon again.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Goodbye, Nettie.

Ah, cute girl.

You said it.

She's got a great, great personality.

I couldn't actually stand her.

Dodie.

Why do you say that, Dodie?

She's got a fake smile.

She's real nice, just like those
hall mothers before they tattle on you.

What kind of a kid are we bringing up here anyway?

Dodie, I don't think we should judge people too quickly.

Isn't that right, Mama?

Oh, no, absolutely not.

Uh, Charlie, she was right.

She was right.

The roast was delicious.

Thanks.

The Muppet Show, coming up next, here on Odyssey.

This doesn't look too bad, Debbie.

Oh, Chip, you mean you can actually fix it?

Well, I think we can straighten it out.

Oh, what a family this is.

Listen, if you can help somebody, why not do it?

Uh, don't you think it'd be easier to
pound the Fender out if we took it off?

Isn't it pretty easy?

And you're off to get off?

Why don't you climb under there and take a look, Ernie?

Oh, don't get your clothes dirty for me.

We'll handle it, Deb.

Mr. Douglas, I feel like I've put your
family into so much trouble.

Oh, we're glad to do it.

You know, sometimes Saturday mornings are
pretty dull around here.

Who's that girl out there?

Debbie.

She scraped a car on Ernie's at the market, and he has
some kind of a thing for her, and he wanted to help her.

She's certainly done a fine job of
corralling most of the family.

Barbara, does she seem like Ernie's type to you?

Who can say, Polly?

Well, I don't know why, but I can't stand her.

That's just what me and Myrtle were saying in our minds.

Well, that's what you and Myrtle better
stop saying in your minds.

I mean, Debbie's just a girl who, uh...

who needs help.

I put her right here in the lawn.

Yeah, this is pretty bad, you know.

It'll annoy the neighbors.

We're trying to increase your Fender.

Oh, hey, Rob, this is Debbie.

Debbie, this is Katie and my brother Rob.

Hi.

I got into the dumbest situation with my car, and
your absolutely amazing family has come to the rescue.

Uh, are you an athlete, Mr. Douglas?

Just Rob.

Oh.

Well, are you, Rob?

Well, not really.

I play a little golf and bowl once in a
while, but that's about it.

I guess the sloping shoulders kind of fooled me.

Hey, you know something?

After you get this thing pounded out and sanded
down, I know a guy who paints cars for a living.

Oh, that Jack, uh... Cornell.

Yeah, Jack Cornell.

Yeah.

Then we can borrow his infrared lamp to bake the paint.

Yeah, good.

You all are something.

I mean, you're really something.

Well, we help you, you help somebody else.

Didn't they introduce you?

Yeah, they introduced me.

Then tossed me to the wolves.

Who is she?

Well, she's somebody that Ernie bumped into yesterday.

She's got them fixing her car because men
are totally gullible.

Well, then I guess we all agree.

Is Gullible the same as stupid?

Honey, it's not that anybody's stupid.

You mean they just don't know that she's a fake smiler?

Honey, Debbie is a very nice girl, and you
mustn't think that we're gossiping about her.

Now, we like her because she's Ernie's
friend, and she's very pretty.

Right?

Right.

B.

.Y., her paint job has to cancel out our
family's picnic tomorrow.

What picnic?

Well, I sort of promised the boys we'd go
on a picnic tomorrow.

Well, I wish you'd told me.

What about next week for the picnic?

The boys have their hearts set on tomorrow.

Well, honey, I promised Ernie that I'd help.

Why are you being so stiff-necked?

Because my adult husband has been charmed
into ruining his family's picnic by some fake smiler.

A teenager who doesn't look old enough to
be a high school cheerleader.

Oh, come on.

Man, Polly, that's a rotten thing to say.

All we're doing is helping Ernie with the paint tomorrow.

But why?

How do you know I didn't have something
planned for tomorrow?

Do you?

No, but I might have.

And since when is some girl's Fender more
important than something I might have had planned?

But don't you like me to help people?

No.

Not Little Miss Helpless.

Come on, Polly, let's not argue about it.

What's your move?

You owe me a king.

Really?

Now,

you're saying this young girl came into our family and
flattered us just to get a dent taken out of her Fender.

That's right.

That little cookie knows exactly what she's doing.

Honey, referring to her as that little
cookie isn't like you.

When my husband does a toe dance to the
oldest music in the world, it's like me.

Barbara.

Oh, skip it.

For now.

Do you know that girl you like?

Debbie?

I think you should just quit liking her.

Man, Dodie.

Why should I do that?

Well, you never know.

She may be a creep.

Come on, Dodie.

The things children say these days.

Well, didn't Coder explain to you?

I couldn't play golf this weekend because, uh,
well, we had a little project going on around here.

How about next Saturday?

Uh, does anyone want to go with me to the
dishware sale on Thursday?

Hmm, I'll go with you.

You need somebody to watch the boys in case they break.

All the dishes.

Yeah, I'd better go, too.

We're down to one coffee cup.

Why don't you pick me up at recess?

I'll go, too.

Well, fine, Jonathan.

You make up the portion then, huh?

Goodbye.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, Mr. Douglas, the car absolutely looks like a noob.

Not good.

Oh, but look what I've done to all of you.

Look at your poor hands.

Yeah, well, I got some stuff in the kitchen.

It'll take that off.

Come on, Uncle Charley.

I'll help.

And, Rob, I'm going to wash your shirt myself.

Oh, Katie, I'll do it.

I just feel so awful.

She looks like the Pied Piper with everybody following her.

That's Piper, honey, not Piper.

Okay.

I must have baked some of that car paint right in my hands.

I know I've said this a thousand times, but
you all work so hard, and the car looks so good.

Thank you, Uncle Charley.

Thank you, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, thank you, Debbie.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Thanks, Richie.

So, Katie.

And most of all, thank you, Ernie.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, Debbie.

Hey, listen, how'd you like to go to a show tonight?

Oh, Ernie, I'd just love to, but I can't.

I'll see you soon, though.

Real soon.

I'm not gonna pull any punches with you guys.

I'm in love.

Mrs. O'Reilly?

Ernie Douglas?

Is Debbie...

Oh, sure.

Well, we'll tell her I called again.

She's busy, huh, Ernie?

Yeah.

I've been trying to call her all day and
all through dinner.

Maybe she didn't come home for dinner.

Well, that's possible.

Dad, um...

Did I do anything dumb when she left yesterday?

I mean, uh, well, she kissed you and Rob and
Chip and Uncle Charley, but she kissed me twice.

Yeah, I know, Ernie.

I'm sure everything's all right.

Well, I'll get it.

Hi, I'm John Corey.

I'm looking for a fellow named Ernie Douglas.

Well, that's me.

Well, then I gotta shake your hand, Ernie.

You're not an encyclopedia salesman, are you?

No, no, I'm the guy with the busted Fender.

I understand I owe a lot to you.

And to you.

And to your family.

Come in, Mr. Corey.

Hi, Mr. Douglas.

How do you do, sir?

Mrs. Douglas.

How do you do?

Well, I'm glad to know you.

Debbie just couldn't stop talking about
you and Robbie and Flip.

Chip.

Well, anyway, she raved about all of you,
especially you, Ernie.

Yeah, well, I've been trying to get hold
of her, but I can't seem to catch her at all.

She's been kind of busy lately.

Do you know her pretty well, huh?

Well, I should.

I should.

We've been engaged for the last six months.

In fact, I came over not only to thank you for the
car, but to invite the whole family to the wedding.

I just can't get over people doing what you did.

Oh, well, thank you.

Well, um, we'll send the invitations.

Thanks again.

Yes.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Ernie.

Well,

thank me for not saying I told you so,
because I'm just about to.

Not really.

But you were right.

I mean, she fooled all of us.

I...

Well, it's hard to believe.

Honey, maybe it's just as well that you met a
girl like this before you become really vulnerable.

Yeah, but...

Maybe so, but you still hurt.

Ernie, this is partly my fault.

Your mother tried to tell me, but I,
uh, I wouldn't believe her.

Well, I wouldn't have believed her either.

For a while, I thought she was real mule.

Real mule?

Where have you been, darling?

Real mule means real kicks.

You know, I kept thinking, that poor guy,
that, uh, John Corey, what a life he's gonna lead.

That was the most dishonest girl I've ever met.

Hello, Julie?

Hey, listen, I got to think it.

I haven't seen you for the past few days in school.

You been sick?

Yeah, well, you didn't miss much.

He's back!

And so are all his friends, Richie,
Foxy, Ralph, even Arnold, and Al.

So find your couch and sit on it.

Happy days.

Tonight at 6.

Here.

Here on Odyssey.