12x05 - Four for the Road

[bunniefuu]

Mark, I'm sorry to bother you on a
weekend, but this is Steve Douglas.

Say, I've been going over these figures on the S-11.

I may be wrong, but I think there's a...

Steve?

Yeah.

Look, would you go over your figures?

Steve?

Yeah.

Let me know, huh?

All right, Mark.

Goodbye.

Steve?

Polly, they're leaving.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, hi, uh...

Polly, I'm so busy, I get... Yeah, Dad,
when you concentrate, you don't mess around.

We're all going to the county fair.

The county fair, huh?

Well, that, uh, sounds great.

Hey, you boys be good for your grandma and grandpa now.

They're not as young as they used to be.

Oh.

Well, you know what I mean.

They're a handful for anybody.

We understand.

Ernie, are you really bringing that big bag of yuck?

Bag of yuck?

Well, it's perfectly clean garbage to feed
the geese at the goose exhibit.

Well, it's a matter of pure ecology.

Do you realize... Ernie, go.

Can we go?

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Have a good time.

Have fun.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well, tr*mp, there are three little playmates for you.

It looks like tr*mp isn't getting any younger, either.

I was just.

Asking what TV show you're not watching.

Hello?

Yes.

Oh, hi, Anne.

It is?

You mean this is my sanity?

Well, are you sure?

Oh.

Yes, yes, you're right.

All right, yes.

I'll be right down.

Okay.

All right.

Bye.

Oh.

Honey, listen, this is my volunteer day at
the hospital, and I'm an hour late already.

Oh.

What about the triplets?

Uh, I guess Charley will be able to handle them.

Of course, I could do a better job on his
reports without all those distractions.

Look, honey, tell Charley to keep them in
the kitchen with him most of the day, okay?

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I love you.

Uh, Charley.

Did you call me?

Yeah, Charley, would you, uh...

Are you, uh, going to the baseball game today?

I don't dress like this to bake a cake.

How do you like this?

Right behind home plate.

A friend of mine is in jail for 16 traffic violations,
so his wife sold me his ticket for half price.

Well, look, Charley, uh, Barbara forgot this was
her day at the hospital, and she just left, so, uh...

if you go to the ballgame, uh... well, I mean, I've
got all this work to do, and I'll... I'll be left all alone

with the triplets, and, uh... Are
you saying you want me to stay?

Well, no, no.

No, of course not, Charley.

I just thought, uh...

before you go, maybe you'd like to know
what the situation is.

So I can have a lousy time at the ballgame, huh?

Well, no.

Don't even think about me trying to get this work done,
and the triplets screaming and the dog barking, and, uh...

really, uh, don't give in to them, Charley.

I won't.

They're all yours.

Hello.

Steve, this is Chuck Fennity at Hard Aircraft.

Oh, hi, Chuck.

How come you're not on the golf course
like every other self-respecting engineer?

Because of that plane your company designed.

The C-713?

Yeah, we've been making some tests.

We've got trouble.

What kind of trouble?

I'll tell you when you get over here.

Well, okay, Chuck, I'll go home and see
you first of the week.

We're all set to start on the test plane Monday.

If we don't get this bug out by the weekend, it's going
to cost us thousands of dollars and hold up production.

Well, okay, Chuck, I'll... Oh, my gosh.

Something the matter?

Oh, no, no, it's just... Well, I'll
be down there as soon as I can.

Goodbye.

Fellas, take it easy now, will you?

I'd like to speak to Mrs. Stephen Douglas, please.

No, no, she's not a patient.

She's one of the volunteers.

I'm not sure what floor she's on today.

Well, she comes in with a group from North
Hollywood, and she has a little blue hat,

you know, and a gold badge on her chest, and...

Oh, I'm sorry, I'll have to... Goodbye.

Charley, look at you.

Oh, what are you doing?

Throwing at each other?

It's supposed to eat cake.

Look at you.

Look at you.

Let's go up and go in the bathtub.

Come on.

Come on.

Look.

Everybody in the bathtub.

Hang on to my back.

Get on.

Get on.

Hang on tight.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Oh, okay.

Come on.

Oh, wait.

Stay right here.

Okay.

Come on.

What TV show am I watching?

Don't touch anything.

Don't touch anything.

Let's go in the tub.

You can't.

But it seems to me a big operation like a county
fair would have some facilities for paging people.

But this isn't a big operation.

This isn't an emergency.

Am I having trouble with an airplay?

Yeah, I guess that doesn't make much sense, does it?

I'll tell you.

Could you switch me over to the main gate?

Uh, Robbie, uh, Stevie, uh, whichever one,
uh, put that back, will you?

Hello?

Oh, a main gate?

Uh, my name is Stephen Douglas,
and I'm trying to locate part of my family.

There are five of them, and I just wonder if
you'd seen them go through the main gate.

Uh, no, I suppose not.

I'll tell you, I wonder, uh, if you have someone
you could send up to wherever you have the geese.

I know they were going there.

Well, I know it because they had a big bag of yuck.

I mean, uh, they were going to feed the geese.

Oh, you don't, you don't allow that.

Well, anyway, uh, Thomas, uh, boys, listen.

Uh, uh, boys.

I'll take the money back.

Uh, come on, boys.

Oh, uh, oh, did you hit your head?

Oh, that's all right.

Now, come on.

Come on, fellas.

Come on, Mr. Uh, Mr. Penitentiary's expecting us.

Come on, boys.

We're all going up and see Mr. Penitentiary.

Come on, fellas.

Come on, boys.

Come on, fellas.

We're out.

I've got to go.

Charley.

Oh, you, you want to drink water, huh?

Mike, uh, hold that for me, will you?

That's good.

That's enough, I think, huh?

How about you others, you fellas, huh?

Oh, Charley.

Charley.

Here,

friend, we've got to keep on our toes.

This is becoming a young man's business.

That's true, Henry.

You're hiring him.

Charley.

Charley, come on.

Come on, boys.

Wait, wait, wait, boys.

Wait, Charley.

Charley.

Charley.

What a handful here.

You.

Must be Mr. Douglas.

Yes, I am.

And these are the triplets.

That's right.

There's Charley and Stevie and Robbie.

I'm Betty.

I wasn't expecting a dog.

Well, Betty, I wasn't either, except the boys wouldn't
leave the house unless they brought them along, so.

Aren't they adorable?

Yes, but just don't turn your back on them.

They're... They're escape artists.

Oh, hi, Steve.

I thought I heard you out here.

Yeah, hi, Chuck.

Well, so these are the grandsons.

That's right.

Yeah, they're nice-looking little fellas.

Yeah.

Hey, how do you tell them apart?

Well, I have a little trouble at times, Chuck.

Well, I guess we better get to work, huh?

Oh, say, before I go, I'll give you my phone number.

Chuck, come here.

Would you take my briefcase, please?

Oh, sure.

Thank you.

I'll give you my phone number,
and I'll give you my son's number.

And...

They should be home by now, but if they
aren't, will you keep trying, and when you

do, just get them to come down here and rescue you, huh?

Oh, I'm not worried.

The boys will be fun.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, kind of keep your eye on Robbie.

He likes to eat erasers.

Um, which one is Robbie?

I'll give this one to Robbie now,
but if later on you don't know which is

which, just look in their mouths, and
the one with an eraser on it will be Robbie.

You know, Steve, it could be just about
the same trouble we had with the G-19.

Yeah, it's beginning to look that way.

Look here, Charlie.

Gentlemen, I don't like to disturb you, but
it is 7 O'clock and I'm leaving for the day.

You're leaving?

Well, Betty, have you been calling those
numbers I gave you?

Yes, but there's still no one home.

Oh.

Well, fellas, put that down.

They put it down.

Well, Betty, you don't suppose you could
stay a little while longer?

I mean... I'd be glad to reimburse you for it.

Never mind that, Steve.

We'll charge it to the government.

They broke an ashtray.

Well, we'll charge that to the government, too.

Look, can't you make some arrangements, Betty?

I was going to suggest I take them home with me.

Maybe when Mr. Douglas is finished, he could pick them up.

Well, that's very nice of you,
but I don't want to impose on you.

Oh, yes, you do.

Yes, I do.

If you think you can handle it.

My boyfriend loves children.

He'll be glad to watch them while I fix dinner.

Here is my name and address.

I'm in the Lancashire Estates, and my house is the one
with the pitched roof and the white picket fence around it.

Oh, fine.

Well, I just can't thank you enough.

I won't be too late.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Good night.

Betty, when this plane is soaring through the wild blue,
we'll remember this sacrifice you made for your country.

Thank you.

Good night.

Now, you be good fellas.

Where did you get a secretary like that, Chuck?

It was not too easy.

Well, that does it.

Well, it was just a process of elimination.

Once we knocked out the theory of weight,
it had to be direct heat caused by the

friction of the rough wing surface as the
airstream passed over it.

Yeah, something like a blowtorch being
applied to the bolts of the wing.

Yeah, just about the same thing.

Let's get out of here, huh?

Yeah.

My wife and I were invited out to dinner tonight.

I promised I'd meet her there.

If I'm lucky, they may have saved me something to eat.

Yeah.

Oh, say, Chuck, I want to call my wife.

Is it all right if I use the phone?

Oh, sure.

Go right ahead.

Just lock up when you're through.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Thanks again, Steve.

OK, Chuck.

You finally got home, huh?

Oh, Steve, I got your note.

Oh, I'm sorry you had such a complicated day.

Where were you?

I mean, why were you so late?

I had a flat on the freeway.

Honey, have the boys given you much trouble?

Well, Mr. Kennedy's secretary took them off my hands.

They're at her home now.

Oh, well, give me your address, and I'll pick them up.

Well, good.

It's right near the house.

She lives in the Lancashire estates.

She said it should be easy to find.

She has a house with a pitched roof and a
white picket fence around it.

Now, hang on.

I'll get the address for you.

Barbara, I'll tell you, I'd better pick the boys up.

You must be tired after running around
that hospital all day.

Oh, no, really, dear.

It's no problem for me.

Yeah, but I can tell from this address that
it might be difficult for you to find the house.

You just said it'd be easy to find.

I should just look for a house with a
pitched roof and a white picket fence.

Yeah, but you know it's night and in the dark.

I don't know.

It might be hard to tell whether the roof
is pitched or not.

And if the fence is dirty, it might not look white.

Steve, you're being evasive.

Yeah, I'm trying to cover up a little stupidity.

I'll pick the boys up and I'll be home
pretty soon, Barbara.

Goodbye.

My Three Sons will continue here on Odyssey.

With Depend.

OK, thank you.

Well, Steve left the plant about 45
minutes ago, according to the guard.

Well, where could they be?

Oh, Katie, I don't think there's anything to worry about.

Well, looking at it from a standpoint of
pure deduction, Dad's either lost,

run out of gas, had a flat, or an accident.

Come on, Ernie.

Forget the chocolate cake I promised you.

It's gone.

Gone?

Yeah, it's not on the table where I left it.

Somebody's a cake crook.

Steve.

Hi.

Honey, we've all been beginning to worry.

Where are the boys, Dad?

Well, you know, a kind of funny thing happened.

It's nothing to worry about.

It's just that I don't know where they are.

What?

Well, I know where they are, but, well, not exactly.

What do you mean, not exactly?

I mean, you said they were at the secretary's house.

Yeah, Steve, pull yourself together.

Well, they are at the secretary's house,

but I don't know where they are.

Well, now, Dodie, don't cry.

The boys aren't lost.

You lost tr*mp.

Well, Dad, if you know where they are,
why don't we drive over and get them?

Well, Katie, it isn't quite that simple.

You see, this whole thing is so stupid,
I can't believe I'm involved in it.

What happened was, well, she gave me her
address at the secretary, and instead of

putting it in my wallet, as I should have, I
threw it there on the table while we were working.

And then Mr. Fannaty was chewing gum,
and he accidentally, of course,

tore off part of the address and put his
gum in it and threw it in the ashtray,

and then I dumped all my hot pipe ashes on
it, and, well, I ended up with half an address.

And I'm sure the boys are safe.

It's just that we'll just have to wait
till somebody calls, that's all.

I'm sorry.

Hey, if we never find them, can I have their tricycles?

Oh, please.

Hello.

Hello.

Mr. Douglas, this is Betty Barham.

Barham, that was the name.

I'm glad to hear from you, Betty.

It's the secretary.

I can't figure out what happened to the three boys.

What happened?

Are they all right?

I don't know.

They're gone.

I turned my back for one minute and... They're gone?

Well, have you called the police?

Betty, give me your address again.



Valley Lane.

Valley Lane.

That's the Lancashire Estates.

Right.

Now, Betty, they must have walked out of
the house under their own power.

I told you they were escape artists.

Think back to the last moment you saw them in the house.

Ask her about tr*mp.

Where are you going?

I can't stand this.

I've got to find them.

Me too.

I think I'll drive around and see what I can see.

Come on, Pop.

Yeah, come on.

I'll go with you.

Yeah, me too.

I'll check in every few minutes.

I'm staying here.

This is where the action is.

The crying isn't really helping.

Don't worry, honey.

Why is she crying?

Maybe she knows something she's not telling us.

Betty, nobody's blaming you.

If it's anybody's fault, it's mine.

Now, the main thing to do right now is to
find the boys, right?

Well, you do what you can at your end and
we'll do the same here.

Yes, now take it easy.

Goodbye Betty.

Yeah.

Three little boys out in the street somewhere.

And a dog.

She did say she had a dog.

She called the police.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I'll call them, too.

Steve!

Steve!

There you are.

Hey.

Come on.

Come on.

Looks like that g*ng is yours.

Yeah.

I found them wandering around in the Lancashire mistakes.

Well, tell me, how did you know where to bring them?

There's a tag on the dog's collar with this address.

Oh, that's very clever of you.

We can't thank you enough.

Oh, you're wonderful.

A kiss is a real swell, lady, you know what I mean?

But you folks got a little bill to settle.

Well, anything's all right.

How much do we owe you here?

Well, thanks a lot, but them kids broke my
little plastic hula girl.

Your little plastic hula girl?

I've had her for three years.

Oh, we're sorry about that.

Yeah, and then the dog.

The dog, he tore up the cushion in my back seat.

Those things cost $12, at least $12.

Oh, that's too bad.

Sorry, here's $12.

Uh-huh.

$12.

And, uh, how much for the hula girl?

Oh, I got her on sale, $1.89.

Well, here's $2.

That'll cover it.

Thanks.

And now the little kid there with the most hair,
he threw both of my ashtrays right out the window.

We're sorry.

How much for the ashtrays?

$2.50 apiece.

Well, here's $5.

Now, how much for the fare?

Oh, the fare, $6.00, son of the rent?

Uh, yes, you're fine.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Oh, and there's one more thing here at the bottom.

The kids.

They wrecked my rearview mirror.

Pour it right on.

I'm $7.50.

$7.50.

Well, I've got the $50, but, uh, honey,
I'm... Uh, yeah, I'll, uh, I'll, uh, get my purse.

I'll, uh, I'll call Betty.

Excuse me.

Well, sounds like the boys are smashing up
the pots and pans in the kitchen.

Yeah, certainly sounds.

It's fine with me.

I'll gladly take her anything they bring.

And so are all his friends, Richie,
Foxy, Ralph, even Arnold, and Al.

So find your couch and sit on it.

Happy Days, tonight at 6, here on Odyssey.

Odyssey.