12x13 - TV Triplets

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THE END.

Steve, the triplets have been kidnapped.

They've been what?

They're not in their room, Daddy.

Is that what we're basing all this excitement on?

They're not in their room?

Look, Steve, don't just stand there.

Call the police or something.

Charlie, the reason they're not in their
room is because Barbara and Katie went

shopping and took the boys along with them.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, how come you didn't check that out?

I'm just a little kid.

What's your excuse, Charlie?

Where'd they go shopping?

The supermarket.

Well, that supermarket ain't never going
to be the same again.

Yeah.

Oh, how about some crackers?

Want some crackers?

Yeah.

Katie?

Hmm?

What's it, Katie?

Ain't nobody's situation at home.

Well, we need some.

Yeah, well, what are we on this week?

Regular, crunchy, or creamy?

Crunchy.

Oh.

It was a very uncluttered world when we
didn't have all these choices.

Get down.

You want to get down?

Get down, Mama.

Get down, Mama.

You want to get down?

Well, what do you think?

I mean, they've been awfully good.

Please, Mama.

Oh, why not?

Honey, don't look now.

Now, uh, but a man has been following us
ever since we entered the market.

What man?

Where?

Well, uh, just look at the clock at the
back of the store and then look down.

He's, uh, about 35 and he's got on a check jacket.

Get down.

Black shoes and dark brown socks?

That's right.

Do you know him?

No.

Oh, maybe he just decided the boys were cute or something.

Either that or their mother caught his eye.

You really want to get down?

All right.

Okay, but now there are going to have to be some rules.

All right, rule number one, you stay close to me.

We all have to stay in a clump.

And rule number two, no touching anything.

All right?

Okay.

Come on, let's go.

All right.

And you walk around.

There we go.

Okay, there we go.

Oh, yes, you do.

Oh, you're not heavy.

There.

Come on.

Oh, man's gone.

Funny how your imagination can run away with you.

Well, I must say, he didn't look too sinister to me.

All right, now, you know the rules?

Okay.

Go.

Excuse me.

Thank you for having me.

Oh, sorry, I'm with Whitby Productions.

I've been watching your boys.

Yes, I noticed that.

They're her boys.

Oh.

They're identical triplets.

They're almost four years old.

They're inseparable.

And not one of them is smarter than the other.

You know, we better finish our marketing.

Steve's waiting.

You still don't understand what I mean.

I'm with Whitby Productions.

We make commercials for television.

See, I'm checking out this market again to
see where all the displays are.

We're trying to duplicate it at our studio.

Have the boys ever been on screen?

Um, no.

What did you have in mind, Mr. Lorne?

Just this.

I think they're perfect for a product we're about to film.

Um, what would they have in mind?

What would they have to do, Mr. Lorne?

At this point, I have no idea.

Ow.

Well, you see, we were going to sh**t this
particular product with just one child.

But when I saw the boys, I decided...

By the way, where are they?

Uh, they're...

Robbie?

Come here.

Would you look at this?

Come here.

I want to talk to you.

Come here right now.

Come here.

That's it.

You want to go show Grandma?

All right.

Ready?

Okay.

Come on.

Line up real good so she can see us.

Okay.

Come here.

Well, don't you look wonderful.

Yeah, do that.

Yeah, do that.

Well, we're all ready to go to the studio.

What did Dad say when you told him I decided to go ahead?

He thought we should find.

He did?

Well, good.

I'm still not sure it's the right thing to do.

Because it's an unnatural life for children?

Something like that.

Well, maybe it is, but I've never heard
any of them complain.

Katie, it's only one commercial.

I mean, if they're a smash, well, then you
can think about putting stars on their doors.

Well, I hope they're nice to the boys down there.

Mm-hmm.

Or vice versa.

Come on, guys.

Let's go.

Ready?

Come on.

Come on.

We're going to be in the movies.

Good morning, Mr. Douglas.

Good morning.

Hi, boy.

Oh, Steve.

There we go.

Now, Stevie.

Stevie, can you stay here?

I'm sorry, but they saw a cat in the parking lot.

Oh, that's all right.

You're here now.

That's the main thing.

Mrs. Douglas may introduce our director, Mr. Perlman.

Hello.

Mrs. Douglas.

This is Stevie and Charlie and Robbie Junior.

Fine.

Mrs. Douglas, we run a business here.

When you are given a 9 O'clock call and
you are not here, you hold up an entire

crew, not to mention the production company.

I'm sure you understand that.

Yes, of course.

Well, see, Stevie saw the cat in the parking lot
and he got away and the boys chased after him.

Well, anyway, here we are.

Yes.

Do they talk?

Oh, yes, sometimes too much.

Well, we don't give them any actual lines.

What is he doing?

Where is everybody going?

Hey.

Oh, yeah, I'll get them.

Come on, fellas.

Mrs. Douglas, I hope these are well-behaved children.

We're only allowed to use them a few hours
per day because of their age.

Boys, now listen.

If you run off again, stand up here.

I want to talk to you.

If you run off again, I'm not going to let
you play with tr*mp when you get home.

All right?

Now, you be good boys and stay right here.

And you listen carefully.

What would you like them to do?

It's a scene in a supermarket.

Oh, good.

That's where Mr. Larning found us.

So I hear.

At any rate, Mrs. Douglas, we strive for
naturalness in our adverts.

As I say, I won't give the boys any lines,
per se, but if they wish to talk up,

that would be quite all right.

Would you take the boys to meet Mr. Willerson?

Sure.

Mr. Willerson?

Well, he's the actor who's supposed to be
the grandfather in the scene.

Come on, fellas, I want you to meet somebody.

Come on.

Okay, you go with Mr. Larning, boys.

Not you, Mrs. Douglas.

What?

We find the mothers to be too much of a
distraction on the set.

Oh, well, if I'm not near them, I'm
afraid that they won't do what you say.

Um, I'll break my rule just this once.

I'll let you remain on the set, but over
there, out of the sight of your boys, okay?

Okay.

Coming up next, here on Odyssey.

Hey, Mr. Willison.

Here are the boys.

Oh, so these are my little co-workers, huh?

Hello, boys.

They sure speak up, don't they?

Uh, Blake, you round the corner with the boys.

Where are you, Blake?

Mr. Peregrine.

Blake, what's going on?

Make your entrance.

They won't come with us.

They keep wandering off in all directions.

Mr. Peregrine.

Go get them, Mrs. Douglas.

All right, but, um, are the boys going to
have to walk past that big stack of cartons?

Yes, Mrs. Douglas.

Please go find your boys and put their
respective little hands into those of Mr.

Willerson.

Yes, but if...

Please go get them, Mrs. Douglas.

Are your boys all right?

Oh, my goodness, let me see.

My dad fell down.

I see it fell down.

Now, listen.

I miss dad.

Yes, all right, now, listen, please.

Now, Mr. A, you turn around here and pay attention.

Mr. Peregrine is very upset with you.

Now, we've got to do it again, all right?

No touching anything.

Now, you come with me.

Come on, back here.

We have to start over.

You did sit... Well, how do you... How did that fall down?

Come on.

How's it going?

You want the expurgated version, or do
you want the whole miserable business?

Is that bad?

I haven't even gotten one shot yet, you believe that?

Not one foot of film.

They hate the actor they're supposed to work with.

They wander off.

They break things.

They have to go to the bathroom.

They want a drink.

You've got to start all over again.

All right, come here.

Stevie.

I think they understand now, Mr. Peregrine.

Mrs. Douglas.

You're there.

Mother, can't you tell them not to knock down the display?

Well, of course.

I mean, I did.

They might not remember.

Blake, when you come down the aisle, keep the boys on
this side so they're not tempted to knock over the display.

Keep them on this side?

I'm lucky if I can keep them in this studio.

Let's not make things worse, Blake.

Okay.

Take them to Mr. Willerson, Mrs. Douglas.

All right.

Come on, boys.

Let's go to Mr. Willerson.

All right.

Okay.

We're going to try another rehearsal.

No.

No.

Let's sh**t it.

We might hit lightning in a bottle.

You boys be good for Mr. Willerson now, okay?

Okay, Mama.

Okay.

If you hang on to Stevie, I think the others will be okay.

Mrs. Douglas, I'm supposed to be pushing a
shopping cart, and it's almost impossible

to push a shopping cart without using both hands.

Besides, don't tell me to look after Stevie,
because I can't tell one from the other.

So, um, Mr. Stevie, can you hang on to that hand?

Jack, get her out of there before I say
something I shouldn't.

Mrs. Douglas, come on now.

Blake, will you get in position?

We want to sh**t this.

Now, don't worry about them.

They'll be all right.

Now, listen.

Okay, Blake.

Come on.

Roll it.

Okay, come on, Blake.

Come on, yeah.

Come on.

Come on.

That's it.

That's it.

Now, now, don't let go of the little guy's hand, Blake.

Stevie, here.

Go in.

Here.

Come here.

Come on.

No, no, no, boys, come back.

Blake, go and get it.

Here.

That's it.

Grab ahold of them.

Come here.

Come back here.

Blake.

Come back here.

Blake, go and get it.

I'll get it.

Oh, honey.

No, no, no.

Come here.

Come here.

We're supposed to be here.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut, cut, cut, cut.

You're all right.

Come on.

It's okay.

Please.

Cut, cut.

Quiet.

Come on, you guys.

Come on now.

Time out.

Hold it, hold it.

You walked right into the shot, Mrs. Douglas.

Well, I thought I could help a little.

We now have you on film.

Oh, really?

It was not our intent to have you on film.

Oh, hi.

Hi, sweetheart.

You'll never believe what happened.

What's with the ice bag?

Well, Dodie has a little fever and Dr.
Phillips told me to keep it cool.

Oh.

What happened?

Well, normally I wouldn't be too happy
about a thing like this, but a whole

consignment of medals was delayed back
east at the palm tree.

Essential stuff.

And?

And so we were forced to close down the
project for a few days and I thought maybe

we could take a little trip, but how much
of a fever does Dodie have?

Oh, it's nothing.

Oh, good.

Where are we going?

Well, I thought we'd go up in the mountains.

Ah.

You're a love.

I'd better get started on my hike.

Good.

Hey, Steve, did you hear about the disaster?

What disaster?

Yeah, the one with the triplets.

Oh?

Oh, well, they practically wrecked the studio.

Oh, look, do you want me to bring you dinner in here?

Oh, no, I'll, uh... Oh, look, it's only stew.

I can put it in a bowl and you can eat it with a spoon.

Uh, Charlie, uh...

What did the triplets do exactly?

Oh, they just busted a couple of things
and they ran around a lot.

Sometimes Katie is too sensitive.

Charlie, what's wrong with Katie?

Oh, the director yelled at her and she
came home half hysterical.

I'd better get you stew before it hardens.

I, uh, I understand that commercial thing.

It wasn't too great a success.

Yeah, well, the triplets are too excited to be good.

Charlie says you're going to eat in here.

Do you want that?

Well, no, but I have a feeling he doesn't
want to set the table again, even for one.

Barbara, did the director actually yell at Katie?

Well, I, I guess so, in a manner of speaking,
but it certainly wasn't anything a*usive.

Well, I just don't like any man who takes advantage
of the fact that he's bigger and stronger than a woman.

It wasn't that bad, Dad.

The boys asleep.

That laugh.

Oh, good.

Well, that man was perfectly justified in being angry.

The boys were terrible.

Oh, how could they be terrible, Kate?

I mean, they're not even four years old,
and I know they obey you.

Well, normally they do, but a studio is so
exciting for little boys.

There are lots of lights and cameras and
make-believe areas.

Dad, they knocked over this, this great big
thing on a stand that must have cost a lot of money.

Under the circumstances, I think the
director was quite nice.

Mr. Lerning.

How are you, Mrs. Douglas?

Fine.

May I come in?

Of course.

Thank you.

Dad, this is Mr. Lerning.

He's the man that found the boys in the supermarket.

This is my father-in-law, Mr. Douglas.

How do you do, Sam?

How are you?

Would you like to sit down?

Oh, thank you.

Mrs.

Douglas, you won't believe this,
but we want to try it again.

Again?

Well, after the way things went today,
why would you want to try it again?

Because the boys look so good on film.

No, we didn't get any that we could use, but we
did print a little footage, and the boys look terrific.

The boys photograph well, do they?

You know, you wouldn't believe how cute they come across.

We do have a problem, though.

Oh, what's that?

I had a feeling the boys didn't like the
actor that we chose for the grandfather.

Am I right?

Oh, I think the boys are too young to not like anybody, but
I guess there's some people they like better than others.

It's a funny thing, you know, they react
almost as if they are one.

What Charlie likes, Stevie likes, and what Stevie likes...

Did I say something wrong?

A thought just hit me, Mr. Douglas,
that could solve all our problems.

Oh?

You do it.

Me?

Yeah.

Hey, uh, Steve, that's okay.

Oh, here you are, Steve.

This will keep the marks out of your bread basket.

Oh, thanks.

I'll eat it later, huh?

Later?

What do you mean?

I just heated it up.

Oh, uh, pardon me, who's this?

Oh, Uncle Charlie, this is Mr. Lorney, and he
wants Dad to act with the boys in the commercial.

Dad, I think it's a great idea.

Well, I don't.

Why?

Well, if he don't eat something,
he'll be too weak to show up.

I'll eat it myself.

Mr. Lorney, I appreciate your thinking of
me for this, you know, whatever it is,

but I've really never done anything like this.

Look, all you have to do is walk down the
aisle with a shopping cart and the boys,

pick up the product, and look at it.

When are you planning on doing this?

We have it all set up for tomorrow morning.

Oh.

Well, that takes care of that, but
my wife and I are planning a little trip.

We're going up in the mountains.

Oh.

I'm afraid not, sweetheart.

Why?

Well, Dodie's temperature's up.

It's all right.

Let me change a thing.

That's it, huh?

Oh, you look fine, Mr. Douglas.

You're, uh, you're sure I don't have to say anything?

No, not a thing.

You see, we dub in the sound later.

I see.

Okay, are we ready?

Okay, I don't see, but yeah.

Mr. Douglas, one of them's missing.

Oh, um, Dad, can you hold these two?

Here.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Here, we go over here, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, all right.

Come on, fellas.

Well, I see you're all set, Mr. Douglas.

Yes, we're all set.

Now, all we need is...

Who was the other one?

Oh, Mrs. Douglas.

I thought the idea was we wouldn't keep losing them
if their grandfather was here, as well as their mother.

I mean, three against two shouldn't be too much to ask.

Well, the boys are naturally pretty exuberant, and...

Well, he thought he saw a puppy, only it
turned out to be some lady's calfskin purse.

Shall we start?

Mr. Douglas, please take the boys to the
place I showed you earlier.

All right.

Mr. Douglas, stay out of sight, if you don't mind.

Don't you think we ought to tell Dad,
Mr. Douglas, about the carton?

Oh, fine, yes.

Mr. Douglas, when you come down the aisle,
try and keep the boys on this side,

on your left, so they don't knock over this display, okay?

Well, I don't think they're going to knock
over the display.

Come on, boys.

Hold on, hold hands.

Careful of the carton.

Okay.

Let's have it quiet.

We'll try one.

Mr. Douglas, everything all right back there?

Are the boys still with you?

Yes, sir.

They're all three here.

Good.

All right.

Roll.

Action, Mr. Douglas.

Around.

The corner like we rehearsed it.

That's it.

That's fine.

You're doing fine.

Now keep coming.

Now you see the product.

Now take one off the top.

Good.

Now let us see the label.

Show it to the boys.

Good.

That's it.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Put it in the cart.

Now.

Some tr*mp is out chasing cats and Dodie
is helping with the dishes.

Hey.

Did them guys ever pay you for that TV
thing you did a couple of months ago?

Yeah.

I felt a little guilty taking the money
after the way I messed it up.

What did you think of that, Charlie?

Oh, they're advertising those coconut clusters.

Oh.

Hey.

It's you.

Coconut clusters.

Coconut clusters.

Your mom and dad love coconut clusters.

Hey, everybody.

Come on.

Quick.

Look.

Barbara.

Katie, come here.

Hey, hurry up.

Come here.

Look at this.

Well, here.

Look what we did.

Coconut clusters.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

He decided to use it after all.

Eat them with hot chocolate just so you eat them.

And when you fall for coconut clusters, you really fall.

Oh, you're so beautiful.

You really do.

You know the kids look like me.

Dad, you're terrific.

He's going to be an actor.

Boy!

Honey, he's right.

You are really very photogenic.

No, thanks.

I'm not an actor.

Did you know we were going to do this?

And so are all his friends, Richie,
Foxy, Ralph, even Arnold, and Al.

So find your couch and sit on it.

Happy Days, tonight at 6, here on Odyssey.

We'll be right back.