04x01 - Sitcom Stars/The Show Must Go Yawn

[bunniefuu]

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom! [chuckles]

This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

[cheering]

This is my show!

[announcer]
The Patrick Star Show

is filmed before
a live studio audience.

Alright, toaster!

Spit it out,
you little rascal!

[toaster]
Mm! Mm, mm, mm!

[audience laughs]

[snorts]
I said give me that toast!

[toaster snarling]

[Cecil in singsong]
Oh, Bunny! I'm home!

[audience cheering]

Mmm, toast!

Burnt, just the way I like it.

- Save some burnt for me!
- [audience cheers]

- [crickets chirping]
- [coughing in audience]

- [audience roaring]
- Huh?

Ehh.

Oh boy, oh boy!

I cannot wait to have boss
for dinner!

Boss? Dinner?

Yup, that's what it says
on today's menu!

[whimpers] I completely forgot
I invited the boss

from one of my temp jobs
over for dinner tonight!

[audience gasps]

He'll be here any minute!
Nothing's ready!

I just wanted to make
a good impression

and now I've blown it!

Nonsense, Mr. Frowny Face!

As long as you've got
your family...

[all] Everything's gonna be
just dandy!

[audience applauding]

[doorbell chimes]

Oh no! That must be him!

Welcome to our humble abode,
Mr. Nana.

Uh, just in time for dinner!

[audience laughing]

Cecil, please,

we're not at the office.

Call me Ben.

Oh, not a problem... Ben.

Come on in and meet my family.

This is Bunny, Squidina,
GrandPat, and Patrick.

[laughs nervously]

Right this way, Mr. Nana!

Make yourself at home.

- Phew!
- [doorbell chimes]

Who could that be?

[dramatic stinger plays]

[Cecil] Mr. Rilla?

My boss from the zoo?

[audience gasps]

One second!

Is everything alright?

I thought I heard a doorbell.

Oh, it's no one!

Must've been a ghost
that rang the doorbell.

[chuckles]
Sure am afraid of ghosts!

[audience laughing]

[whispers] Psst, family meeting.

Under the table, discreetly.

Uh, whoops! Dinner table's
on the fritz again!

Better go check under the hood!

Family, we got a problem.

I accidentally invited
two of my bosses over.

But listen, the bosses can
not see each other!

My good reputation is at stake!

And Mr. Rilla will probably
try to eat Mr. Nana.

[with mouth full]
What? The monster!

[audience laughing]

Don't worry, Dad.

We'll keep Ben out of sight
in the kitchen,

and you can keep Rilla
in the living room.

Ooh! And I'll make two meals.

One with bananas
for the gorilla,

and one without bananas
for the banana!

Great idea, hon!

We got this!

- [audience cheering]
- All good!

Might as well fix that ghost
infested door while I'm at it!

[pounding on door]

Uh, sorry for the-- [grunts]

Well... I wanted to make
a good impression.

[audience laughing, applauding]

[audience cheering]

Boy oh boy!

We sure are excited you're here.

When I told the kids
you were coming, they went ape!

- [audience laughing]
- [snarls]

They even, uh, prepared
some pre-dinner entertainment.

Right, guys?

No, we didn't.

[nervous chuckle]

Uh, w-what he means is,

it's right here in the trunk.

[babbling]

Tire swing!

And finger paint!

Enjoy!

[laughing, grunting]

[audience cheering]

Uh, honey, our guest needs
to go in there

and use
the little bananas' room!

Oh no!

The bosses will see each other!

Say, Mr. Rilla,
have you seen our, uh...

famous Star family
lamp shade?

Take a gander!

Right this way, Mr. Nana!

- Thank you!
- [glass shatters]

Precious potassium!

Is that...

- [suspenseful music]
- [audience gasps]

...not the most beautiful lamp
I've ever seen?

- [audience laughing]
- [soft music plays]

Can I turn it on?

Whoops! Sorry, lamp's broken!

But, uh, the toilet sure isn't.

Go see for yourself!

So what did you think
of the lamp shade?

- Whoa!
- [thuds]

Maybe that idea
was a little... dim.

[audience laughing]

[audience cheering]

Here you are, Mr. Rilla!

Head of the table!

Dinner is almost ready.

[toilet flushing]

Strange toilet you have here.

Must be European.

[grunting]

Hey there, Mr. Nana!

We're gonna have dinner
out here instead.

Right, Squidina?

Uh... Oh!

[nervous chuckle]

Don't be shy.

Take a seat!

Some tea?

Glug, glug, glug...

Psst, fellas, huddle!

Son, I'm gonna need you
to entertain Mr. Rilla

in the kitchen
while pretending to be me.

Oh! [laughs]

[sneezes, crashes]

And, Dad, I'm gonna need you to
entertain Ben in the living room

- while also pretending to be--
- You!

[straining]

Uncanny!

[audience laughing]

Hey, what are you gonna do?

[Cecil] The most important job
there is...

Make sure no more bosses get in!

[audience laughing]

- [GrandPat screaming]
- Dad!

All I have to do is twist
and your feet'll pop right off.

[screams]

[grunts] I'm so sorry, Mr. Nana!

I don't know what came over
my dad-- uh, I mean, me!

- Cecil!
- [gulps]

I didn't know you had
that kinda fight in ya.

I hope you use those moves
on the competition.

[Bunny] Okay, everyone!

Dinner is ready!

Fantastic! I'll go get--

Honey, no.
You can't go in there.

Not while Patrick's
pretending to be you.

[gasps] You're right!

If Patrick's me...

Business meeting!



Synergy! [grunts]

Then I'll have to be... hmm...

[grunting]

...you!

And, uh, you'll be... the lamp!

[Bunny] Ooh!
What a bright idea!

Oh... [whimpering]

[Patrick grunting]

I'm happy to see you two
getting along so well!

Oh, you should give
him a raise!

I hope you're hungry

because dinner is served!

[Patrick screams]

[crash]

It's time to eat.

Finally. I can't wait to have
this dinner of--

[gasps] Buh-buh-buh-buh...

Uh-oh!

[Ben] Bananas!

Ooh!

Now, sir, calm down.

It's not what it looks like!

It looks like you cooked
my cousins!

You're disgusting, lady!

Lady?

I'm Cecil!

Oh, Jimminy Jellyfish!

You're Cecil, he's Cecil!

That thing is Cecil!

What is going on here?

Why would you serve me
a plate full of--

[Mr. Rilla] Banana?

Banana!

[screams]

- [crashing]
- [lively music playing]

[wailing like Tarzan]

[horn blares]

I knew they were gonna have me
for dinner...

[yelping]

...but this is ridiculous!

[audience laughing]

Huh? Uh...

There it is again!

The laughing!

There's something
really weird going on!

[grunts] What the-- [screams]

[announcer] If you think things
are crazy now,

then you'll flip when you see
the next episode of

The Patrick Star Show:
The Sitcom!

All the Stars are upside down!

I said, all the Stars
are upside down!

[screams, grunts]

Don't miss it!

[audience applauding]

[laughter]

Great dinner, Cecil.

Consider yourself promoted!

[audience cheering]

Gee! Thanks, Ben.

See ya on Monday!

Not if I see you first!

- [laughter]
- [audience laughing]

See, hon?

Everything turned out
just dandy.

[smooching loudly]

[light theme music playing]

[grunts] Are you kidding me?!

Did no one see
that commercial break?

Or those credits?

Am I the only one hearing
that laughter?

[audience laughing]

Um, it's probably just
the house settling.

[audience laughing]

Then how do you explain them?

[laughing and cheering]

Guys, I think we're trapped
in a sitcom!

[audience gasps]

Oh, my little Squidina.

You and your imagination.

- [static buzzing]
- Hey!

What happened to Squidina?

She looks... different!

I don't see anything different.
That's our Squidina!

I am telling you,
that is not her!

It's like she's been...

- recast!
- [dramatic stinger]

- [static buzzes]
- [gentle music plays]

Recast? That's ridiculous!

[static buzzes]

What is the deal
with airplane food?

There is something screwy
going on around here!

[static buzzes]

They call it airplane food

'cause it flies
right through ya!

[audience laughing]

[bass-heavy theme plays]

Well, one thing's for sure...

[all] When you got
your family...

Everything tastes like candy!

- [laughter]
- [light theme music plays]

[music stops]

You think he's ever
gonna figure it out?

I wouldn't bet on it.

He's not the brightest star
in the sea.

[audience laughing]

[breathing rapidly]

[snoring]

[grunting]
Stay back!

Not one step
closer,

you brute!
Yah!

[whimpering]

Hang in there,
Danny-saurus Rex!

Keep those little legs
a-pumpin'!

Thank you!

[grumbles]

Outta my way, cop!

[grunts]
You're not catching us now!

We made it, buddy!

From this day forward,

we live life
the way we want to live it...

In prison.

[Squidina] Cut!

That was good.

But you're busting out
of prison, remember?

It's okay, we'll fix
the dialogue in post.

I just need one more shot before
we film the grand finale...

your motorcycle jump
to freedom!

And... action!

Remember, you're taking your
first steps as a free sea-star!

Oh, wow!

Look at all this freedom!

[Squidina] Yes! Good stuff!

- So much freedom all around!
- [Squidina yelps]

Whoa! [whimpering]

[grunts]

Still rolling! Huh?

Whoa! Oh! Still rolling!

[yelping]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[grunts]

Still rolling!

Whoa! Oof!

Oof! Ugh!

[groaning]

- Did we get the shot?
- [tooth shatters]

[French narrator] One trip
to the emergency room later...

Don't worry, honey.

Your tentacles will heal.

They just need
a little time to rest.

Three, two, one.

Okay! Now that you've rested,

let's film the big
motorcycle jump finale!

Oh, Squidina can't help you
with your little show, dear.

You'll have to do it yourself.

- Myself?
- [dramatic stinger]

But who's gonna tell me
where to stand

and what to say

and when to breathe?

You can do this!

It'll be automatic,
like riding a bicycle!

Riding a bicycle?

I can do that!

- [upbeat music playing]
- Yah! Ha-ha!

Welcome to The Patrick Show!

We've got a great guest
coming up,

but first...

a card trick.

Pick a card.

[music stops]

I said, pick a card!

[audience member]
We can't see you!

Hello?

What am I looking at here?

[audience member]
C'mon! Pull the curtain already!

Oh, I see what's going on here.

[chuckles] Pull the red rope
for the red curtain.

[grunts]

[zapping]

Hmm...

[electricity buzzing]

Nope.

[screeching]

[Patrick screams]

You leave me no choice, Kurt!

Feel the fury
of a strong breeze!

[screaming]

[grunts]

- [grunting]
- [smashing]

[babbling]

- [whooshing]
- [screaming]

[pulley whirring]

[cheering]

[Patrick screams]

Is this your card?

[gasping]

[grunting]

[Teensy Tom] Only one of us

will make it out of here alive!

Or... we can learn
to come together

and talk out our differences!

[Squidina] Cut!

Again, Mr. Dartfish,

the seahorse
is not a speaking role.

Let's try what is written
this time.

And action!

- Welcome back!
- [slurping]

Please give a warm
Patrick Show welcome

to Nosferatu.

- [audience cheering]
- [dramatic organ music]

Whoo! Okay, I have got
a little surprise for you.

Someone from your past that
you haven't seen in centuries!

Say hello...

to your son!

Hmm?

Oops! I mean, say hello to...

the sun!

- [sun buzzing]
- [grunting]

[screeching]

[audience cheering]

[all exclaim]

[suspenseful string music]

[nonchalant whistling]

En garde!

Whoops!

[sniffing]

What is that smell?

Um, Squidina?

I think I might need
a little help after all.

Why? Everything going okay
with, uh...

- Nosferatu?
- Oh!

Um...

Maybe you should ask him.

Patrick!

You cannot incinerate
the guests!

[grumbles] Okay.

I'll figure out a way
to help from here.

In the meantime,
just get back down there

and keep the show going!

Okay, okay!

What am I gonna do?

[grunting]

We're happy to help
any way we can.

[all Dartfish] Heave! h*!

Heave! h*!

Nice work, Dartfish.

Now let's see what
Patrick's up to.

Banana.

[audience] Banana who?

Knock knock.

[audience] Who's there?

Banana.

Looks like he's doing
his comedy routine.

Okay, Dartfish, now remember,

I'll watch Patrick from here,

and if he needs direction...

We'll relay the message
for you.

[all] Go Dartfish!

- [Patrick] Orange.
- [audience] Orange who?

"Orange" you glad
I didn't say banana?

[audience] Yes!

If you thought that was funny,
get a load of this.

[clears throat]

Why did the sea chicken
cross the playground?

Why?

[dramatic clang]

Uh...

[dramatic music playing]

To get to the other slide!

Quick, pass it along!

Okie dokie!

Honey!

What's the message, dear?

To get to the other slide!

Spaghetti covered in slime!

Got it!

Whoa!

Mom! Are you okay?

[toaster ticking, dings]

[coughs]

Spaghetti covered in slime.

[groans]

Two yetis...

committing crimes.

Okay, got it!

Thanks, Mom!

[upbeat music playing]

Teensy Tom!

At your service!

Two yetis co-- [grunts]

Two yetis co-- [laughs]

Committing crimes!

To get to the other slide?

[giggles] Hilarious!

Alley oop!

[grunts]

Patrick! Patrick!

- Uh...
- [Tom squeaking in high voice]

Ew! A bug!

[splats]

This is no way
to direct a TV show!

I need to be there!

But how?

- [thudding]
- Huh?

[bell dings]

Teensy Tom?

Why are you stuck to the bottom
of my foot, little guy?

To... get... to...

the... other... slide.

Ha! Good joke!

Oh, I could've used
that earlier.

[Squidina] Hey, Patrick!

Your director is back!

Squidina!

You're all better!

Yeah, now let's get the show
back on track.

I think you can win
the audience over

with a dance routine.

Oh, I'm already there, sis!

[grunting rhythmically]

[exclaiming and clapping]

[Squidina] Wow, Patrick!

The Lawnies are loving it!

[zapping]

- Hey!
- [fire roaring]

Uh-oh. Fire.

Fire? Okay, just keep it away
from anything flammable!

We can't have it spread.

Okay. It should be fine.

It's nowhere near
Dad's collection

of dried corn husks...

Or the decorative fountain
full of nitroglycerin...

[booming]

[all screaming]

Ahh!

Oh!

Hey, Squidina.

Um... what if we did
the show in here?

In here?
And what about the Lawnies?

[crashing]

Oh.

But still!
There's no room for the--

Big motorcycle finale
can happen

right here!

Patrick! I knew you could make
the show work on your own!

Well, what can I say?

I'm a professional.

Okay, I can do this.

Patrick! Are you ready
for the grand finale?

Yeah.

- [Squidina] Other way, Patrick.
- Oh.

[revving]

Ready, camera 1!

After this last jump,
you should be home free.

And... action!

[Patrick]
Come on, Danny-saurus Rex.

Let's make like a tumbleweed
and ride this motorcycle.

[tires squealing]

[eagle screeching]

[tires squealing]

[cheering]

It worked!

We did it! We got the shot!

[blues rock music playing]

[inhales sharply]

[sighs]

Feels good to be free,
huh, Danny?

[bell dings]

- [dramatic thud]
- [music halts]