04x04 - Two Pests in a Teapot/Partial Recall

[bunniefuu]

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom! [chuckles]

[giggles]
This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

[cheering]

This is my show!

Another horrid day.

Just like every
other one before it.

"Spa Day"?

Well, between my failure
of a grandson

and my nightmare neighbors,

Neptune knows I need one!

[wolf whistle]

Well, hello,
Miss Neighbor Tentacles,

how are you?

- [zapping]
- [grunting]

Jelly taser.

Never leave home without it.

[groaning]

What do you think you're doing?

Watching your house.

♪ tense music playing

I'm keeping our block safe

and secure.

♪ music swells

- [laughing]
- [alarms blaring]

Ugh, this place gets worse
every day.

Okay, sure, here's five bucks
for your trouble.

Keep the place safe,

and stop lurkin' around
outside my house!

If Granny Tentacles said
to stop lurking around

outside the house,

then I better lurk
inside the house!

Ah, well, how the heck
am I gonna get in?

Just gotta think!

Hey, wait a minute!

I don't gotta think!

'Cause it looks like
I'm already inside!

♪ tense music continues ♪

Now let's neighborhood watch
some stuff.

Boring old lady junk.

More boring old lady junk.

Doorknob.

Clown painting.

And two pillows!

Two pretty lumpy pillows.

Hm, a good neighbor
would fluff out these lumps!

[clunks]

No, still too lumpy!

[loud thumping]

There!

Perfectly flat, zero lumps!

♪ comedic musical sting

[gasps] Oh!

Wrong.

[creaks]

Anything in here
for a good neighbor to watch?

Oh, my gosh!

♪ dramatic musical sting

Oh, you poor, sweet,
innocent animal!

How long have you been
locked up in here?

Well, don't you worry!

Papa Patrick knows
exactly what you need

to feel all better.

♪ music stops

- [toilet shatters]
- Freedom!

Now go!

Run wild!

♪ playful music plays

Wow, I can't believe
Granny Tentacles

would keep an innocent creature
locked up like that.

[gasps] Another one?!

"Sweet old lady" my foot.

Hey, there, little guy.
It's okay.

[distorted] I'm not scary.

[worm whimpers]

[clinks]

- [creaks, thuds]
- [worm screeches]

Come on, little fella,
I won't bite.

- [thuds]
- Ow!

[growling and sucking]

[giggles]

You're kissing me.

I'm gonna call you "Kissy."

Come on, Kissy,

let's go neighborhood watch
some TV.

[theme music plays on TV]

Oh, look, Kissy!

[in hoarse voice]
The Patrick Show is on!

Patrick!

Where are you?

[Kissy squeaks]

I'm right here!

[chuckles]

But we've got a show to do!

Uh, I can't!

I got other responser-tilities!

- What?
- Hold on.

[grunts]

[Squidina grunts]

Yah!

[TV explodes]

I can't do the show today

because I'm watching this!

Meet Kissy!

Uh, what am I looking at
here, Patrick?

[chuckles] It's Kissy!

Ahh! Kissy! Where are you?!

Where is Granny Tentacles'
pet worm, Kissy?!

Oh!

Kissy is the name of the worm!

Kissy... [grunts]

...could be stuck... [grunts]

...in the walls! [grunts]

[grunting]

Maybe Kissy is hiding

with all this cotton candy!

Kissy, I'm coming!

Patrick, that's not...

[Patrick] Kissy!

Thank goodness I found you.

Now give us a kiss.

Mmm...

- [zapping]
- [Patrick yelling]

- That wasn't Kissy.
- [current flows]

Squidina, what are we gonna do
about Kissy?

Hmm... Ooh, ha!

I've got an idea!

We'll lure Kissy back
with his favorite food!

Which is...?

No idea!

So, we'll make everything!

♪ bright music plays

It's time for a...

[both] ...cooking montage!

- [thuds]
- [clatters]

[loud shattering]

[whirs]

[oven door creaks]

[clanking]

[clanking]

♪ tinkling music plays

♪ fanfare music plays

♪ sparkling music playing

Well, Patrick, even if you were
no help whatsoever,

we've prepared
every food imaginable!

[clanking]

Now to call Kissy!

[singsongy] Oh, Kissy?

It's dinner time!

[tinkling]

[fast sniffing]

I know you're hungry!

Come and get it!

[fast sniffing]

Come on, buddy! Come on!

[Kissy] Hmm?

We're not gonna hurt you.

We made your favorite food!

Right, Patrick?

[Patrick belches]

[screams]

[belching continues, stops]

What happened to all the food?

- [bowl shatters]
- [Squidina] Ugh!

Okay. [giggles] Time for plan B.

If we want to catch an animal,

we gotta think like an animal.

[panting]

[barking, panting]

If you were Kissy,

where would you be right now?

Eating Granny Tentacles'
slippers!

- [grunting]
- [doorbell chiming]

- [barking]
- [doorbell chiming]

Hang on! Hang on!

I'm here to clip
Granny's toenails.

[Patrick barking]

Whoa! [groaning]

Oh, gross!

Down, boy!

I've got a bone for you!

Want the bone?

[barks]

- Go get it!
- [barks]

[laughs] What a bonehead.

[yelps]

[thuds]

[panting]

- Patrick, sit!
- [panting]

Stay.

And... stop acting like a dog.

[sighs] Let's face it,

fake animal instincts
aren't gonna lead us to Kissy.

We're gonna need real animals
to root him out.

[beeping]

- [brakes screech]
- Okay, animals, listen up!

We're gonna let you in the house

and you are gonna track down
this little rascal.

[crazed growling]

Okay, Patrick.

Let's let 'em loose!

[aggressive animal noises]

Gosh, I hope they don't trash
Granny Tentacles' house.

Nah. They're probably just
gonna sniff around for a bit.

[grunting]

[roaring]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[objects shattering, clattering]

[crazy animal noises]

[sniffing]

[roaring]

[grunting]

[Squidward yelps, grunts]

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have toenails to clip.

[both] Kissy!

- [thudding]
- [grunting]

- [thudding]
- [grunting]

We found you, Kissy!

And thankfully, nobody got hurt!

[groaning]

There! I think Granny Tentacles
is gonna be very happy!

Totally.

Hey. What's all that black smoke

coming from the kitchen?

Oh, no! I forgot to take
my casserole

out of the oven!

Huh? It's raining in the house?

Oh, no! The room
where I liberated that toilet!

[door creaks]

I really should do spa days
more often!

- [mirror shatters]
- I feel a century younger!

♪ dramatic music playing

[door creaks]

I never should have listened

to that manipulative toilet!

♪ music intensifies

[steam blowing]

What the--?

[shatters]

My house!

What happened to my house?!

♪ dramatic music plays

I know things look pretty bad,

but don't worry.

We saved your most important
possession.

- Your beloved pet, Kissy.
- [growling]

That's not my pet, you half-wit!

That's a vermin I trapped!

[sucking]

Oh.

I probably shouldn't have opened
the cage then, huh?

[Kissy sucking]

♪ tense musical sting

[panting]

Karen, this is
not a drill!

Get the doors open.

I'm coming in hot!

[panting]

[echoes] Hello!

Oh. It sure is dark
in my smelly button.

Oh, that's better!

[Plankton] Move it,
ya big pile of stupid!

I'm on a timeline!

Huh?

Food that delivers itself?

We do live in the future.

Well?! Don't just stand there!

- [bell dings]
- [Plankton boings]

Huh. Guess they don't have
all the kinks worked out.

[moans]

Hello? Hello?

[yelps]

Ah, no, you don't!

Thiever's keepers!

[groans]

Try that again
and I'll turn you into--

Ow!

Into-- [groans]

Into a-- [groans]

[chewing loudly]

...into a vegetable!

Vegetable?

Ahh! A pickle!

[hurls]

- [Plankton groans]
- Ooh, a stain!

- [grunting, groaning]
- [singing]

- [grunts]
- [beeps]

- I'm off to the store!
- [yells]

- Hey, Patrick!
- [groans]

- Look what I can do!
- [grunts]

Hey, son!

Have you seen my clog dancing?

[dancers] Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Ha!
- [bell dings]

[thumping]

[footsteps recede]

[clinking]

[crazed grunting]

[huffing]

[whirs, beeps]

[buzzes]

[mutters]

Actually, a tenderized pickle

sounds pretty good
right about now.

Bon appetit-- Huh?
Where'd it go?

♪ tense musical sting

[groans softly] What...?

Who are you people?

Why, we're the Dartfish family!

When someone's in trouble,
we'll be there...

[all] ...on the double!

And what is your name?

Who? What?

I don't know.

I-I think my name is...

Pickle?

Daddy, can we eat the pickle?

Ha! Oh, son,
we can't eat Pickle.

He's part of the family now.

Isn't that right, Pickle?

Pickle!

Hm. Plankton
should've been here by now.

♪ bright music playing

- [yelps]
- Oh!

[both laugh]

[static buzzing]

Huh?

[grunting]

- [farts]
- [laughs]

[both] Yay!

[all grunt]

- Welcome to the family, Pickle.
- [giggling]

[all] Aww!

♪ suspenseful music playing

[whirs]

Hey! I found him!

Can I have a reward?

[beeps] Plankton?

Where did you find him?

In my nose!

♪ intense musical sting ♪

That's a booger.

What's the difference? [laughs]

[munching]

- [zapping]
- [fish groaning]

- ♪ classical music plays ♪
- Dinner's ready!

Who's hungry?!

[together] Ooh!

[all] Yay!

Is that all the food
I get to eat?

No!

Phew.

That's all the food

we get to eat!

Here's your meager portion.

[munching]

Mmm! What's for dessert?

That was our dessert!

And our meal
for the entire week!

And where do you get your food?

From the Stars, of course!

The Stars provide!

- [clinks]
- The stars, huh?

[laughs] No, no.

Not those stars.

Let me show you.

♪ sparkling music plays

Ooh, Mama!

[panting, grunting]

Sorry, Pickle,
that food isn't for us!

Then, who is it for?

[Bunny yells] Sooey!

- [triangle clinking]
- [shaken gasping]

[panting]

Dig in!

[munching, chomping]

[cranking]

Hooray! The Stars provide!

What a bountiful harvest!

Let's skedaddle home and dig in!

Wait a second!

You mean, those big oafs

get all the good food

while us little guys
have to subsist on crumbs?

It isn't fair!

Don't we deserve a taste
of the good stuff too?

But we love crumbs!

Besides, how else
could we possibly get food?

Hmm.

[static zings]

Oh!

Leave it to me.

[evil chuckle]

Pow-wow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...

[gasp]

Ow, ow, ow...

[all] Oh...

[grunting]

- [grunts]
- [Dartfishes groan]

Let's dig in!

Thanks, Pickle, but...

[grunts]

...we can't.

Why not?

[gasps]
Are you allergic to turkey?

We have a little rhyme about it.

[grunts] "We can only taste

what the Stars drop in haste."

- [grunts]
- I don't get it.

If you steal the Stars' food,

you are being quite rude.

Huh?

Hmm.

You don't wanna let
all that turkey

go to waste, do you?

That would be a sin!

You're right.

[evil laughter]

Now, how do I put this?

Ah!

"Don't be jerky,

eat the stinkin' turkey."

[chomps]

[all gasp]

It rhymed, so maybe it's true.

[gasps]

It did rhyme!

He has a point!

A little turkey
couldn't hurt, right?

[frantic chomping]

[loud burp]

Wow, Pickle, that was delicious!

Glad ya liked it, kid!

I've never felt so nourished!

Yeah!

I couldn't eat another bite!

Unless that bite was dessert!

[evil laughter]

[licking]

[beeping]

[rings]

- [whirring]
- [groaning]

- [panting]
- Ah!

- Yeah!
- [evil chuckle]

Yum! Huh?

- [rumbles]
- [munching]

Ah!

[laughs]

[grunts]

[groans]

[thuds]

[groaning softly]

- [rumbles]
- [hums]

[smacks lips]

♪ playful music

[coughing]

Ha!

- Aw.
- [stomach rumbles]

Say, Pickle, how do you know
how to do all these things?

Instinct, I guess.

Something about it just feels...

[in evil voice] ...so wrong.

[normal voice] I mean, right!

Pickle, sweetie,

don't you think
we have enough food now?

No!

It's never enough! Never!

[yells] Never!

[whirring]

Have you seen my husb-- Ahh!

[groans]

What's going on here?

[growls]

- Hello?
- [groans]

[weakly] So hungry...

[chomping]

[fly buzzing]

[yells]

[evil laugh]

[gasps] Plankton?

[whirring]

- [munching noise]
- [beeping]

There you are!

[munching] Huh?

- [whirring]
- [zapping]

Alright, Plankton,
what's going on?

Who's Plankton?

My name is Pickle! [chomps]

It's time to go home, Pickle.

- [clinks]
- Back off!

Listen, lady, I don't know you,

but I know my family!

Hello! Are you a friend
of Pickle's?

They took me in
after my head injury.

[gasps] Head injury?

[Plankton] And nursed me
back to health

when I had nothing.

Aha!

I could never leave them!

[grunts]

[zapping]

Alright, I'm leaving.

Wait!

Uncle Pickle, don't go!

Pickle?

The name's Plankton.

[gasps] The Plankton?

But he's bad!

Does that mean like
we're bad too?

Maybe, but he's still
Uncle Pickle to me!

♪ dramatic music plays

Listen, kid,
you don't have to be bad

to know you're worth
more than crumbs.

[whirring]

Bye-bye, losers!

If you wore the helmet
I got you,

this wouldn't keep happening!

Sorry again for stealing
all your food

- for months on end.
- [weak groaning]

- [weak groaning]
- It'll never happen again!

[gasping, groaning]

- [clinks]
- [evil chuckle]

- [thuds]
- [Patrick] Yow!