04x10 - Visiting Vikings/It's Too Late... With Plankton

[bunniefuu]

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom! [chuckles]

[giggles]
This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa!

This is my room!

And this...

[cheering]

This is my show!

♪ Gentle music playing ♪

[clock ticking]

[clanging]

- [banging]
- ♪ music stops ♪

It's Leif Erikson Day!

♪ Seafarer music playing ♪

[strained grunts]

Hi, SpongeBob! Hi!

Happy Leif Erikson Day!

Hinga Dinga Durgen!

[grunts]

[speaking vague Nordic
gibberish]

[both chanting]
Vikings! Vikings! Vikings!

What's with all the commotion?

And what're you
supposed to be anyhow?

- [crashes]
- Oh.

Why, it's Leif Erikson Day,

Mr. GrandPat, sir!

We're being Vikings!

Vikings?!

With those plastic helmets
and that...

[in mocking tone]
"Hinga Dinga Durgen"?!

You wanna see a Viking?

- I'll show you.
- [metal clanking]

Now here's a realViking helmet!

Is that a bucket?

It's a helmet!

And I know 'cause I

was a fearsome Viking warrior!

In Viking times!

And a helmet like this
was the only thing

that stood between you
and certain doom!

So don't you soft-bellied,

- tender little cupcakes...
- Ow.

Tell me I don't know
about Vikings!

Why, the stories I have
would rattle your horns off!

The daring adventure
and the pillaging!

Battles...

Meatballs...

- [snoring loudly]
- ♪ lullaby playing ♪

We should time closet
to when GrandPat wakes up

so we can hear
his Viking stories.

Or we could time closet
to his Viking days

and see them ourselves!

[gasps]

♪ Viking times, Viking times ♪

♪ We're gonna go
to Viking times ♪

[giggles]

Here we go!

[indistinct battle cries]

Ooh!

[crashes]

Oh, Sven, you kidder!

Ooh, I can't believe it.
Patrick!

We're in a real Viking village!

Yeah!

And everyone looks like

they're having lots of fun!

- [Vikings grunting]
- [metal clanging]

[grunts]

Yeah! Lots of fun!

Ooh. Look, Patrick!

A skirmish! Let's go see.

- That looks intense!
- [Vikings grunting]

Yeah. Intense in-a-tent!
[laughs]

[yells]

[Patrick] Is that GrandPat?!

[both] Whoa!

[GrandPat-like laugh]

[coughs]

[in deep voice]
Oh, meatball boy!

Did somebody say meatball boy?

Hinga Dinga Durgen!

Here I am
with my bucket o' meat!

With juicy meatballs
as plump as my cheeks!

So shout hooray
and jump for joy!

'Cause here I am,
I'm the meatball boy!

Meatballs!

One heapin' spoon o' meatballs
comin' right up, big fella!

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa! Woopsie doodles!

Ow!

- Ooh! What happened?
- ♪ ominous music plays ♪

What happened is you got gravy
on my beard, meatball boy!

So you and your soft-bellied
tender little cupcake body

should stay out of my way
if you know what's good for you.

- Wow, that was embarrassing.
- ♪ music stops

Who are you?

We are from the future,

where you are
a fearsome Viking warrior!

But it looks like we got here
a little early.

So I guess it's up to us
to mold you

from meatball boy
into a real Viking warrior!

In Viking times!

So whaddya say?

We even got your Viking helmet
nice and clean!

Looks like a bucket to me
but whatever.

Sure. Not like life
can get much worse.

Okay! Let's start
with battle axe skills.

I'll do a quick demo
with SpongeBob here.

First, we swing back!

- Ow!
- Let out a tri-elephant scream.

[screams]

And swing!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Are you crazy, Patrick?

I don't want to damage
my protective helmet!

Oh! Good thinking!

'Kay. All good.

Alrighty.

- [grunts]
- Yah!

[French Narrator]
One second later...

One big swipe is all it takes.

Here. Now you try!

Round two, SB!

- [laughs heartily]
- ♪ seafarer music playing ♪

Let 'er rip.

[screams]

Whoa! Wah!

[GrandPat] Dadgum it!

-♪ music fades out
-Whoa!

Oh boy.

We better try
a less dangerous weapon.

This combination fork and spoon

is the perfect comproprize!

What the heck am I supposed
to do with this?

Run with it at full force and...

jam it into SpongeBob's face!

[giggles]

Okay. Here goes!

[engine revving,
tires screeching]

Charge!

- [laughs maniacally]
- ♪ rock music plays ♪

-♪ music stops
-[squeaking]

-♪ rock music plays
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Where am I?

♪ Lounge music playing ♪

You up for pillaging tonight?

I dunno. I kinda wanted
to braid my beard.

-♪ rock music plays
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-♪ rock music stops
-Hm!

-♪ fanciful music playing
-[giggles nervously]

-♪ suspenseful music playing
-[growls]

-♪ drumroll playing
-[laughs nervously]

[growling]

- [GrandPat] Ow! Ow!
- ♪ tense music playing ♪

-♪ music stops
-[GrandPat groans]

- That went well!
- Yeah!

Not bad
for a first Viking battle!

[yodeling]

The most important Viking skill

that you'll need to master
is pillow-jalopy...

I mean, uh... pigeon jail!

Bah! Pillar-jazz!

Pillaging.

What he said.

Pillaging?

I-I don't think
I'm ready for that.

You're not. That's why
we're gonna start out small.

You'll be pillaging
this clam house.

Clam house?

What am I supposed to pillage
from a clam house?

Oh, you'd be surprised!

They have really nice things.

- Hmm?
- Well?

What are you waiting for?

Alright!

♪ Drumroll playing ♪

- Let's see here.
- ♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Oops! My bad!

Mmm-hmm! Ooh!

This feels expensive!

[snickers]

Ow! Dagnabbit!

The clam's not in
on the exercise?!

Oops!
We forgot to ask for permission!

[grunts] Ah!

[barks]

[screams]

Anyhoo... Uh...

Gimme that thing!

There!

- How's thatfor pillaging?
- ♪ music fades out

Not. Bad. At. All!

You're ready for level two.

- [SpongeBob] It's time for...
- [audience cheering]

- Village Pillage Sweep!
- ♪ game show theme music plays ♪

How many things can you pillage

from an actual Viking village
in 30 seconds?

We're about to find out.

That's right, SpongeBob!

[SpongeBob]
Our contestant is standing by!

[Patrick] With a shopping cart
ready to roll.

Now let's put 30 seconds
on the time sand thingy!

- [bell dings]
- On your mark, get set!

[inhales and laughs]

[Patrick] And there he goes!

Look at him pilly-village-ing
all that underwear!

[shopping cart squeaking]

[Patrick]
This race is really heating up!

[grunting]

[SpongeBob]
Last call for tighty-whities!

Three, two, one!

- Huzzah!
- [bell dinging]

I pillaged all
the Vikings' underwear!

[voice echoing]
Vikings' underwear!

[low growls]

- I'm a real Viking! [laughs]
- ♪ ominous music playing ♪

- [Viking grunting]
- [laughter winding down]

Oh...

[grunting]

The Vikings are accepting him
as one of their own!

Yay!

Ah!

Oh!

Ow!

[screaming]

[groans weakly]

Ow!

[punches landing]

- My GrandPat is a Viking.
- ♪ seafarer music playing ♪

I'm so proud!

- Our work here is done!
- Yup!

- Now let's go home.
- [metal clangs]

[both] GrandPat!

GrandPat! GrandPat!

[startled scream]

GrandPat! You weren't lying!

You really area Viking!

You're darn tootin' I am!

Speaking of which!

It's time to pillage
the bathroom!

- [snickers]
- [Cecil] Hey!

I need that!

I don't know how this day
could get any better!

Who wants meatballs?

[both] Yay!

Best Leif Erikson Day ever!

- [audience cheering]
- [drumroll playing]

[all yodeling]

You kids have
such angelic voices!

You should yodel
on your TV program sometime!

Hm... Wait!

What are your fans gonna watch
while we're on vacation?

Well, we got a guest host who,
uh, wasn't my first choice.

But it's only for a couple
of days.

[chuckles nervously] Hopefully
the Lawnies can make do.

[cheering]

[band playing music]

[Karen]
Live from the Chum Bucket,

Bikini Bottom's favorite
replacement

for their favorite show...

It's Too Late!
With Sheldon J. Plankton!

And now, here's Plankton!

- [Lawnies cheer and applaud]
- [Plankton laughs]

Ooh! [snickers] Alright!

Ooh! [laughs]

Enough!

[music stops]

Thanks for having me,
Bikini Bottom!

You know, this is my first time
hosting a TV show.

They say TV rots the brain,

but when I look
at this audience,

I'm not too worried.

- [cymbal and drum hit]
- [laughs]

- [coughing]
- What's wrong?

- Can't you idiots hear me?!
- [microphone feedback]

Don't tell me
this microphone's broken.

We can hear you,
we just can't see you!

Well I can take care of that.

Let's get
a little magnification!

- [buzzes]
- [Lawnies screaming]

Ya know, Krabs didn't pay
a cent in income tax last year.

He's not just cooking patties
over there, folks.

He's also cooking the books!

[cymbal and drum hit]

[laughs]

Still can't see me, eh?

- Spotlight, please!
- [buzzes]

[screams]

[laughs]

Grr!

I hope that stupid seastar

is enjoying his stupid vacation!

[tweeting and squawking]

Here we are, family. The Alps!

Dad, this place is a dump.

It's pronounced "dumph."

It's Swiss.

Just smell that fresh air.

[inhales]

[raspy tone] Now that's clean!

Time to hit the slopes!

Yodelayheehoo!

♪ Yodel music playing ♪

[Patrick] Stinky snowball fight!

[laughs]

[GrandPat] Watch it, punk!

[laughs]

Good thing
I packed my hazmat suit.

Hey, Patrick! Hyah!

♪ Yodel music fades out ♪

Please welcome our first guest,

a self-described
"multidisciplinary auteur"

here to promote
his new short film,

- it's Squidward Tentacles!
- [drumroll playing]

[one fish applauds]

[laughs giddily]

Thanks for being here,
Squidward.

So I hear you work
at the Krusty Krab?

Part time.

It isn't much, but it helps pay

for my art projects.

Like my new film!

Can we roll the clip?

[projector whirring]

[dramatic music playing]

[Squidward narrating]
Wretched existence.

A mind in...

What the... Hey!
What about the rest of the clip?

[chuckles]
Great stuff, great stuff.

Tell me more
about the Krusty Krab!

You know, floor plans,
safe combos,

secret formulas...

Well, my new film
is a deep exploration

of the time
I spent working there.

Why didn't ya say so?

Karen, roll clip!

- [projector whirring]
- [dramatic music playing]

[Squidward narrating]
Wretched existence.

A mind in agony.[echoing]

A mind in agony.

- Nope, can't do it.
- [music stops]

- [Squidward screams]
- [seat squeaking]

And now, for our next guest!

Heiress of a fast food chain,
it's Pearl Krabs!

- Hi!
- [Lawnies cheering]

Hi, Plankton!

So, Pearl. Krusty Krab.

Secret formula.

Secret formation?!

Like cheerleading?

Oh, I couldn't!

My squad would beach me!

No, the formula...

Well, maybe I'll just show you
this one part.

[cheering] Rah! Rah!
Rah, rah, rah!

Karen! Cut to commercial!

I don't always
have time to cook,

so when my family needs
a fast, wholesome meal,

there's only one place we go.

♪ Who's got the best chum
on the ocean floor? ♪

♪ Chum Bucket
It's the Chum Bucket ♪

♪ Full of protein, nitrates,
preservatives and more ♪

♪ Chum Bucket
It's the Chum Bucket ♪

♪ Who's got the edible glop
that is delicious? ♪

♪ Chum Bucket
It's the Chum Bucket ♪

♪ Special ingredients,
so mysterious ♪

♪ Chum Bucket
It's the Chum Bucket ♪

[narrator]
Chum is made from ingredients

and is part
of a possible breakfast.

Medical treatment not included.

And we're back!

Now because you've been
such a great audience...

[audience member] We hate you!

We decided to give you all
a little something special.

[gasps]
An all-expense-paid vacation?

A new boat?!

Even better!

Take a look under your seats.

[indistinct chatter]

Ew!

- [screams]
- [retches]

Ew! What is this?!

It's chum!

You get some chum
and you get some chum!

And you! And you!

- Oh, you're not leaving.
- ♪ menacing music playing ♪

- It's too late for that!
- [buzzes]

[monstrous laughter]

Oh!

[whimpers]

[buzzes]

[clamoring]

[screams]

[screaming]

[whimpering]

[yelps]

♪ music fades out ♪

You won't get away with this!

Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me?

[all yodeling]

Don't forget we have
to pick up the Lawnies!

- On it!
- [tires screeching]

[all scream]

So tell us, Mr. Krabs.

Why are you so cheap?

I don't know.
Why are you so puny?

[laughs]

I'll show ya puny!

[grunts in anger]

Look. We've got some new
audience membererers.

Huh? This is weird.

[whispers]
Run. While you still can.

[yells] Run!

Maybe we should go?

[Plankton chuckles] No.

I think you should stay!

Right, Eugene?

Sure. If they like bad jokes
and a boring host.

[laughs]

Oh shut up, you!

- [buzzes]
- [machine whirring]

[clanks]

And now, please welcome

your former host
and current hostage,

Patrick Star!

[gasps] Patrick Star?
I love that guy!

[laughs] Oh!

So, Patrick, tell me
how it feels

to lose everything
you've ever worked for.

I feel...

hungry.

We can fix that!

[buzzes]

[gasps] Chum!

[chomping]

I don't know
what's less appetizing,

my chum or watching him eat it.

- [buzzes]
- [dings]

You don't like my jokes?

- Try my laughing gas!
- [buzzes]

[hisses]

[hysterical laughter]

[Cecil laughing] Squidina!

- Huh?
- Isn't this hilarious?

[laughs maniacally]

I think it's time to return to
our regularly scheduled program.

- Stop!
- ♪ heroic music playing ♪

The Patrick Show
may have a pretty low bar,

but even we draw
the line at kidnapping.

This is over!

We're taking our show back.

Oh yeah?

How're you gonna do that

when I have your audience,

your time slot, your host,

and these really big
robot arms!?

-♪ music fades out
-[gulps]

- Get her, boys!
- [buzzes]

[Plankton] Slice her!
Flatten her! Smash her!

- [yelps]
- Poke!

- Prod! Bury!
- [gulps]

- Mangle!
- [sighs]

Ooh, maybe that button
will get me more chum.

- Clobber!
- [Patrick's body squeaks]

[pants]

♪ menacing music plays ♪

[laughs maniacally]

- No!
- [grunts]

Huh?

Wait, what's going on?

Where's my remote?

- [buzzes]
- Uh-oh.

- Ooh! Ouch! Ow! Ow!
- ♪ whimsical music playing

Ouch!

Ooh! That felt pretty good.

Ow! Ouch! Ow!

Patrick! You did it!

Not yet.

- Where's my chum?
- [buzzes]

[Squidina yelps]

- Aww!
- Sorry, Plankton,

but your services
will no longer be required.

♪ Jazz music playing ♪

[sighs] It's nice to have things
back to normal.

Yes, I wrote
and directed it myself.

Fascinating.

Show the clip!

[Squidward narrating]
Wretched existence.

A mind in agony.[echoing]

A mind in agony.

My mind is a prison.

[SpongeBob laughs]

- Oh brother!
- Pew!

Uh-oh! We're losing 'em.

[buzzes]

[Squidward screams]

[laughs]

- Hey, a good idea's a good idea.
- [cymbal and drum hit]

♪♪