04x13 - Slumber Party Stars/Doctor Patrick

[bunniefuu]

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom! [chuckles]

[giggles]
This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa!

This is my room!

And this...

♪ quirky music playing ♪

This is my show!

♪♪

[Patrick humming]

♪ Goin' to the
swimmin' hole ♪

♪ Goin' to the swimmin' hole ♪

♪ Goin' down to take
a little swim ♪

[hums]

♪ Going on a trip down
to the place ♪

♪ Where I can take a dip ♪

♪ Here I am
It's time to jump on in ♪

[crashes]

♪ And many more ♪

Alley-oop!

[burbling]

My golf ball!

- Right in the goo trap!
- [burbles]

Barnacles!

I'll never get outta here
under par.

[sighs] After all my big talk,

the guys are gonna laugh at me!

Wait, what am I saying?

Get a hold of yourself, man!

- You are a doctor.
- ♪ determined music plays

I can do this.

I'm a medical professional.

I've removed
all kinds of objects

from all kinds of places.

Ooh!

♪ Music fades out ♪

[splutters]

♪ And now I'm done ♪

♪ sneaky music plays ♪

[zipper zips]

[gasps] Oh, yeah, I drove here.

Huh?

White coat?

Mirror thingy?

Whatcha-call-it?

Oh yeah!

I forgot I'm a doctor.

Ow! Get a hold of yourself,
Patrick!

You gotta remember this stuff.

Yep! Off to doctoring!

[engine rumbles]

[tires screech]

[humming]

- [thud]
- [grunts]

♪ whimsical music plays ♪

[humming]

[choking]

Help! Help! We need a doctor!

♪ Music turns heroic ♪

Someone call a doctor?

[choking]

Dr. Patrick will see you now!

Thank goodness you're here!
My friend is choking!

Can you help him?

Of course I can!

You think they let just
any idiot wear one of these?

- Fore!
- [groans]

- Fore!
- [grunts]

- [grunts]
- Fore!

[whistling descent]

[applause]

Wow! Hole in one!
Thanks, Dr. Patrick!

Just doing my job.

[Patrick humming]

- Huh? What the...?
- [tires screech]

-♪ tense musical stinger
-Sweet Neptune!

This man has been cut to pieces.

I can rebuild him.

♪ Tense music playing ♪

Can I help you?

Yes!

Get me some butcher paper,



a stapler,
and if you can find one,

I'm gonna need a miracle.

Stat!

Uh, yes, doctor. Right away.

♪ Dramatic music playing ♪

How's it look, Doc?

Not good, nurse.
We're running out of time.

Stapler!

[grunts]

Steak sauce.

[sighs]

- [bottle shatters]
- Okay.

We're looking good here.

Come on, Meat Person.

Don't you die on me, buddy!

Oh! No pulse.

I'm going to try
mousy-mouth re-suffocation!

[inhales deeply]

[squelching]

♪ somber music playing ♪

- [gasps]
- We did all we could.

Goodnight, sweet...
[smacks lips]

and salty prince.

- [bell tolls]
- [door opens]

This part of the job
never gets easier.

♪ Music fades out ♪

But it's just meat, though.

- [gurgles]
- ♪ eerie musical sting ♪

[screaming]

♪ ominous music playing ♪

[growling]

♪ music fades abruptly ♪

♪ somber music plays ♪

Oh, Meat Person,
you never had a chance!

I'll never forget you!

[wailing]

♪ Waiting, waiting
I love waiting ♪

[sobs]

[screams, whimpers]

[gasps]

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

♪ music stops ♪

SpongeBob, are you okay?



- Ah! What's this?!
- ♪ tense musical stinger ♪

Oh, that's just a tiny paper cut
from last week.

No, SpongeBob, this is serious!

We gotta get you to a hospital!

[imitates ambulance siren]

- [phone ringing]
- Uh, Patrick?

- Your doctor bag is ringing.
- [Patrick] Thank you, Stella!

Mister Doctor Patrick Star.

Where are you?!
It's time to start today's show!

Sorry, Squidina, I'm heading
into emergency surgery

right now.

I can work with that!

Transition to title sequence!

The Patrick ShowPresents:

- Dr. Star M.D.!
- ♪ dramatic theme platys ♪

[machine beeping]

Hmm... [slurps]

Patient's vitals taste normal.

Nurse, one dose of boba, please,

- Just to be safe.
- Yes, Dr. Star.

- This may cause mild lumpiness.
- ♪ dramatic music playing ♪

Another dose of boba?!

Dr. Star, I've warned you about
your unconventional methods!

My methods get results.

What are yours?

Sending the patient home

in a shellacked wooden box?

Uh, no.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I need to talk to a mother
who's about to lose her son.

Isn't there anything you can do
for my sweet little sponge?

There is one operation
we could try.

But it is the riskiest procedure
ever attempted.

But I thought
I just had a paper cut.

Exactly!

Time to scrub in.

♪ Dramatic music plays

Now, let's see what's going on
in here.

Oh dear. No!

No! Claw grabber!

Wish me luck.

[grunts] Ah! [groans]

Just look at all that!

Nasty!

Hm, I would've thought
I needed that stuff.

What's this now?

Net.

[grunts, screams]

[muffled grunts]

Gah! This infection
is very aggressive!

There must be something
you can do, Doctor!

This will require
laser treatment.

[laser whirring]

[laughing]

That's it. Come to Papa.

Muh-mow!

Gary! Okay, buddy.

You officially win this round
of hide-and-seek.

[meows]

[voice echoes] Looks like
you're all cleaned out!

Now let's check on that boo-boo.

[gasps]

This is the toughest case
of my career!

There's the guy
who stole my golf cart!

- Hmm...
- [Doctor Man] Hey, you!

I'm gonna get you!

Do you mind, sir?
This is a hospital.

Good.
'Cause you're gonna need one.

[screams] I gotta hide!

Wait. That's not in the script!

[grunting]

It's over, ya little pink fraud!

Eh. I can work with that!

[laughs nervously]
I don't see any pink frauds.

Is that so?

♪ Goin' to the swimmin' hole ♪

[screams]

[grunts]

[SpongeBob pants] Patrick! Wait!

You're gonna... Whoa!

[audience screams]

[grumbling]

[screams, grunts]

Why are you so mad at me?!

Because you're no doctor!

- [Patrick whimpers]
- [Meat Person growls]

♪ tense musical stinger ♪

- [Doctor Man grunts]
- Meat Person?

- [Meat Person snarls]
- [Doctor Man groans]

He's the best doctor!

[screams]

Gee whiz! I'm just trying
to get my doctor stuff back!

-♪ gentle music playing
-You saved my life, doc!

Meat Person! You're alive!

Excuse me.

Am I to understand
that youfashioned

this living creature out
of mere butchered meat?

Sure did!

This is my medical license.

I'm signing it over to you.

You are a genius.

Does this mean I get
to keep the golf cart?

[TV announcer] Tune in next week
for moreDr. Star, M.D.!

- [tires screech]
- [crashes]

[police sirens blaring]

♪♪

[Squidina] Time to triple check

my slumber party list!

Is there anything I'm missing?

Leaning tower of pizza? Check!

- [radio playing dance music]
- Dance music? Check!

[giggles] Practical jokes?

Checkaroonie.

Oh, most importantly...

pillows for the pillow fight!

Everything's ready
for a legendary slumber party!

Ooh! I'm so excited
for you and Pearl!

Our little girl's throwing
her first slumber party

all by herself!

They grow up so fast!

- [rings]
- It's Pearl!

Calling to tell me
she's on her way!

Hey, Pearl!

Hey, Squidina,
I can't come over.

Wha?!

My dad's molting again

and he needs me to rub butter
all over his soft shell.

- But-but...
- I'm really sorry

but duty calls.

- Bye.
- [beeps]

Buh-bye.

[chokes up] I-I'm okay!

It's not like some kind
of devastating setback

to my social development

that will also crush
my young vulnerable heart!

- I'll be fine!
- ♪ melodramatic music playing ♪

[cries]

Hey, can I get a pool
in my room too?

- [spits] So what's her problem?
- [water splashes]

It'll be okay, sweetie!

Say, I know what'll
cheer you up.

A classic family movie!

Sir Urchin and Snail Fail
Meet Plankenstein!

I hate that movie!

Why, you!

What did I do?

I'll help you eat your pizzas.

Oh.

I could always just put you
outta your misery!

That's awfully sweet of you,
GrandPat.

But none of this stuff
will make me feel better.

Oh, I know!

We can have our own sleepover!

With the whole family!

- Oh, great idea, hon!
- Yeah!

- Eh, I guess.
- Uh, yeah.

Just one teeny problem.

We live together

so we technically
have a sleepover

every night.

Yes, but it's not every night

that we have a...

[in unison] Slumber party!

[grunts, laughs]

Actually, being put out
of my misery

doesn't sound so bad.

[Patrick] Hey!

Let's move this shindig

down to the living room!

What do we do first?

I'll get the board games!

I'll get the pillows!

I'll get the slumber.

[snores]

And I'll get depression.

Let's get this party started
with a dance-off!

- [air horn blows]
- [screams]

Hit it, Bunny!

Hitting it! [grunts]

- [radio playing dance music]
- [cheering, laughing]

[sighs]

Ooh, nice twist, GrandPat!

You still have
some dancin' in ya!

Dancing?

I'm just trying
to re-align my hip!

[strains]

[sighs]

[babbling]

[music stops]

Oh. Well.

Look at the time,


I oughta go to bed.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Squidina!

I'm sure we can hunt down some
fun for you at our next event:

the scavenger hunt!

[groans] Fine.

On your mark, get set, hunt!

♪ Lively action music plays ♪

[grunting]

Nothing here!

Or in here!

Did you find anything,
GrandPat!?

Nothing over here!

[in squeaky voice] Whoa!
Or in here!

Wait. Don't scavenger hunts
usually start with clues?

Clues?
Where's the thrill in that?!

The scavenger hunt
would be too easy.

Aha! Found one.

A scavenger!

Evening, folks!

[chomps, munches]

[grunts]

Hey, I found one
under the floorboards!

♪ "Toccata and Fugue in D minor"
plays ♪

For my collection.

- [giggles]
- ♪ song fades out ♪

Finally! I found one!

Dad, I don't think
that's a scavenger.

That's a Scandinavian.

[Viking speaks Norwegian]

Looks like he's both!

Dad, please, I appreciate this

- but it's not working out!
- ♪ melancholy music playing ♪

I'd rather cry myself to sleep
in a waterbed of my own tears.

Aw, Squidina, come on.

Why cry there

when you can cry here?

I even got plenty of paper
to blow your nose!

- Toilet paper?
- ♪ goofy music plays ♪

Don't get too greedy
'cause we're gonna need

- some of it for...
- [toilet flushes]

pranks!

- [giggles]
- Whose house is this for?

A bunch of jerks I've been
waitin' to get for years!

[laughs] Those chuckleheads
won't know what hit 'em!

[laughing]

♪ "The Sleeping Beauty
Ballet Suite" plays ♪

[sighs] Of course.

- Our house.
- Yah!

[slurps] Huh?

[barks]

[whooshing]

[barks]

[in unison] Aw, Tinkle!

- [Tinkle hacking]
- ♪ suspenseful music plays ♪

- [in unison] Duck and cover!
- Huh?

- [Tinkle retches]
- ♪ music fades out ♪

Now can we call it a night?

Oh, not yet, Squidina.

- We still haven't told...
- ♪ eerie music plays ♪

scary stories.

Alright, scaredy snails...

open your ear holes!

[thunder crashes]

One dark and stormy night,

a sad and lonely little girl
was playing

in a puddle in her backyard.

[laughter]

Away from
her overbearing family.

[GrandPat] When suddenly,

she heard a mysterious sound

coming from inside
the old tool shed.

[whimpers]

[GrandPat] So she wandered in
to investigate.

Ooh! Me next!
I'll keep the story going!

The little girl
shook with horror.

No one had cleaned
the shed for years.

[yelps]

There were dust bunnies

in every nook and cranny,

cobwebs hanging
from the shelves.

There was mildew forming
on the shower curtain!

There's a bathtub in the shed?

Real scary, Mom.

I know! Your turn, Cecil.

Thanks, hun.

Without warning,

a large silhouette emerged,

bearing the shape of
a horrifying, bloodsucking...

- Bat.
- [Cecil] No!

A mustache!

- [snarls]
- [screams]

[Squidina pants]

- [whimpers]
- [roars]

[Cecil] The little girl
ran inside

and mustache-proofed
the entire house.

[Squidina grunts]

[Cecil] But forgot to lock...

- [door creaks]
- the front door!

- [screams]
- [lightning crashes]

As usual.

- [shudders]
- Your turn, son.

Candy corn! Bu-bu-bubblegum!

Ha-ham and cheese and waffles!

[screams] I can't think!
I'm too scared!

Okay, let's wrap this up.

Suddenly,
the doorknob rattles...

- [thud]
- Huh?!

Uh-uh, and then what happened,
Squidina?

- And the door creaks open?
- ♪ suspenseful music plays ♪

[creaks]

And something scary creeps in?

[thunder crashes]

[screaming]

-♪ music stops abruptly
-Psych!

I finished with my dad's
molting issues early

and I thought we could still
have a sleepover!

[in unison] Phew!

I'm not interrupting anything,
am I?

Oh, uh-uh, not at all.

I suppose Squidina wants
to get back

to her original
slumber party plan.

Let's get a move on, g*ng.

I guess I'll go to my room
and stare at the wall.

[light bulb dings]

I really appreciate all you guys
did for me tonight.

But there's one thing we forgot.

What's that, Squidina?

[grunting]

[both] Pillow fight!

[both grunt]

You asked for it!

♪ "1812 Overture" by Tchaikovsky
playing ♪

♪ song ends ♪

This really was the best
slumber party ever!

♪♪