02x15 - Girl Fight

[bunniefuu]

No, really.
What did she say?

No!

Oh, my god, no!

Carmen, you were supposed to be
in bed an h*--

are you serious?

I wish I was there.

No.

And then what´d she say?

No way.
No way, man.

No, no.

Oh, my god. No way.

Are you serious?

No way.
That´s so, uhhhh...

Dad, that was Toby
long distance.

Thanks for hanging up
on my one friend.

You know the rules, Carmen.
Lights out at 10:00.

[ Stones hitting window ]

Carmen! Carmen!

I´m sorry. Are you supposed to
be sneaking out tonight?

´Cause I can go.

It´s Adam.

Adam? The guy who gave you
the hickey?

Carmen, we told you you weren´t
allowed to see him.

Dad, I know.

I broke up with him,
but he won´t leave me alone.

He won´t stop coming by.
He won´t stop calling.

He says
he´s in love with me.

[ Laughing ]
Really? Why?

He says i´m special.

Ha. No. Come on.
Really. Why?

[ Stones hitting window ]

Carmen!

All right.
I´ll handle this.

Dad, be careful!

He´s on
the water Polo team.

I´ll try not to fight him
in the tub.

Carmen!

Carmen!

Moron!

Don´t k*ll me, Mr. Lopez.

k*ll you?
Come on.

You ever see a kid fall into the
bear cage at the zoo?

The bear doesn´t k*ll him
right away.

He plays with him
for a while.

Come on. Let´s play.

I don´t want to play.

Relax. Let´s just talk.

What´s going on with Adam?

I love Carmen.

I just can´t stop
thinking about her.

I know it sounds crazy,
but she´s special.

Special? Look...

I´m her dad, so I have to say
she´s special.

But between you and me,

there are a million girls
out there just like her.

Sometimes when I pick her up
from school,

I have to look at the picture
in my wallet

to remember
what she looks like.

I just know if I could talk
to her, I could get her back.

Will you give her this poem
I wrote for her?

Adam, I think there´s
a psychological term

for what you´re going
through.

It´s called
"being a giant wuss."

I am not a wuss.

My poem!

Adam, that was for
your own good.

Come on, man.
She doesn´t want you.

And if you keep coming around
here begging,

it´s gonna get around school
that you´re a loser.

Get a spine, man.
Have some pride.

Just get over her.

I don´t know how
i´m gonna do it.

But I guess
I have no choice.

Now, you know if I ever see you
around here again,

i´ll be burying you
next to Justin.

Who´s Justin?

He´s what makes
my roses bloom.

[ Sniffles ]

What are you doing?

I write little notes
for Max to find in his lunch.

Why?

So he´ll know
that I love him.

Why don´t you write him
a note?

No, why don´t you just put
my name on it

like you do with the
birthday cards?

Mom, dad, I need to ask you
something.

What is it?

I know something
about someone,

but i´m not sure if telling
on them is the right thing.

Max, what have we told you
about being a tattletale?

It´s not about you, dad.

Then spill it.

Carmen ditched school
yesterday.

And this morning,
I heard her crying.

And last week, she used my
skateboard.

That´s not part of it.
I´m just mad about it.

Let me handle this.

Honey, I forgot to ask you,
how was school yesterday?

Fine.

Liar!

I was working on something,
but thank you.

Why´d you cut school
yesterday?

What are you talking
about?

I went to school
yesterday.

Oh, yeah?
What did you learn?

Algebra. X squared
minus 3 over y6.

If y is 2,
what is x, dad?

Maybe she did go.

Carmen, we have a witness --

someone who shall remain
nameless.

You couldn´t wait
till I left?!

She didn´t say
your name, bro!

Oh.

Okay, Carmen,
what´s going on?

Nothing´s going on.

God, I cut school.
What´s the big deal?

What, you never cut school?

No, I didn´t.

Dad?

No, your mom didn´t!

Hey, you been pranked.

Not now, mom.

No, I just want to see
what it says.

I couldn´t read it backwards.

Oh, god.

Now I get it.

Why would somebody do this?

It´s adam´s fault.

He lied and told his friends
I let him have sex with me.

Now it´s going around school
that i´m a h*.

That´s why i´m not going
to school, okay?

Honey, that´s horrible.

Why the hell would he do that?

He doesn´t want people to know
I broke up with him.

He wants everyone to think
he dumped me

´cause he got
what he wanted.

That little punk.

I thought
I straightened him out.

I know just what you´re
going through.

When I was in high school, they
called me easy, cheap, loose.

Of course, I was pregnant.

I´m gonna call adam´s parents
about this window right now.

Adam didn´t do it.
Piper did.

Piper? That snob who used
to be your friend?

That´s her handwriting.

I know because she wrote
"Carmen can´t say no-pez"

on my locker.

Hey, thank god our last name
isn´t Tucker.

Don´t worry, honey.
We´re gonna take care of this.

But you still have to go
to school today.

No!

Yes! Carmen, you can´t let them
intimidate you.

Fine!

Get ready
to clean more windows.

[ Door closes ]

This ends now.

You´re going to adam´s,
aren´t you?

I´m not gonna tell you ´cause
then it would be premeditated.

Let me go while it´s still
a crime of passion.

George!

You´re not going anywhere.

She´s right.
I´ll go.

I got a bigger trunk
and no plates.

Just stop, okay?

There´s a sensible way
to handle this.

We have to go to the school

and talk to the
conflict-resolution manager.

The what?

It´s a special counselor

who will sit these girls down
and mediate.

I don´t want mediating,
I want a*s-kicking!

What counselor handles that?

George, relax.

We have to go through the
conflict-resolution manager.

I´ll go to the website now
and make an e-ppointment.

This is crazy.

When George was a kid, I marched
right down to the school,

and I could see any teacher
I wanted to.

What are you talking about?
You never came to my school.

Nobody called you a wh*re!

[ Intro to w*r´s "low rider"
plays ]

♫ all my friends
know the low rider ♫

♫ the low rider
is a little higher ♫

[ Knock on door ]

Yes?

Oh, excuse me. I don´t want
to bother you during lunch,

but I want to talk to you
about my daughter, Carmen Lopez.

I have an e-ppointment tomorrow,
but I can´t wait.

All right.
Have a seat.

Man, you look familiar.
Have we met?

I don´t think so.

Maybe you´ve seen me around
the school.

Ha. No, I don´t come here,
dude.

Maybe you´ve seen me
at church.

No, that´s not it either.

I work at the polling place
every election.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, maybe that´s it.

Well, some people just look
familiar.

I´m sorry.
I´m being rude.

You want some of this?

What did you say?

You want some of this?

Ow. [ Whining ]

Let go of my friend!

You want some of this?

You want some of this?

No, thanks.

I´m allergic to knuckle
sandwiches.

Oh, no.

Ohh!

I´ll meet you at the nurse´s
office, George!

Ohh! Oh! Oh!

You´re rango.

I haven´t been called that
since I was a kid.

Hey, man, i´m George Lopez.
You beat me up when I was 8.

I don´t remember that.

No? Does this look familiar?

Ohh! Oh! Oh!

Oh. Spuds.

Yeah, spuds.

Maybe you don´t recognize me

because my head doesn´t look
like a potato anymore.

Yeah, I remember now.

I got kicked out of school
for that fight.

That made my life hell.

So, what can I do for you,
George?

Hey, listen, man,

you got any other conflict guys
I can talk to?

Ah, don´t be ridiculous.

That was 30 years ago.

I´m gonna do everything I can
to help your daughter.

What´s the problem?

She broke up with this boy,
Adam conners,

and he started telling everybody
he had sex with her.

Now a bunch of girls
are picking on her,

and one of them,
Piper morey,

wrote "hopez" on my house
in shaving cream.

Piper morey?
Are you sure?

Yeah, i´m sure. My daughter
told me she wrote it.

George, unless you have
an eyewitness,

piper´s an honor student,
class president,

and one of the stars
of this school.

Carmen...well,
she goes here.

My daughter doesn´t lie.

I want those girls brought
in here and punished right now.

I can´t do that.

You know there´s two sides
to every story.

So you´re siding with Piper.
This makes total sense.

You´re a bully, so you´re
siding with the bullies!

Bully?!

Why don´t you come on this side
of the desk and say that?!

Are there any other conflict
guys I could talk to?

I´m sorry.

Got a little out of control.

I got some blood-sugar issues
i´m working on.

Whew.

I´m worried about my daughter.
What can you do about this?

I´ll look into it.

But, rango to spuds,
i´m telling you,

this whole thing will blow
over in a week.

Before you know it, Carmen
will go back to being...

The same anonymous "c" student
she was before.

That´s all i´m asking for.

Carmen, where are you going?

Home.

Hold on.

We heard someone wrote "hopez"
on your house,

and we felt really bad, so we
got you a little present.

It´s a pillow so you´ll be
more comfortable.

You know, with all that time
you spend on your back.

Screw you, Piper.

What?

I walk in, and there he is --
Tommy "rango" durango.

Can you believe that?!

The conflict manager is my bully
from grade school.

I would have loved to have
met him, George,

but somebody didn´t wait
for our e-ppointment.

I´m sorry, Angie.
I couldn´t wait.

This guy said carmen´s problems
are gonna blow over.

But i´m starting to think

this guy´s doing nothing on
purpose just to get back at me.

Why would he do that?

If I get expelled for this,
you´re dead!

Hear me?! Dead!

Have fun in juvie!

Don´t drop the soap!

[ Both laughing ]

What does that mean?

I don´t know.

Come on, George.
You´re just being paranoid.

Who holds a grudge
for 30 years?

So you´re not still mad I forgot
to wear my jacket

in our wedding photo?

Absolutely not.

Doesn´t bother you at all?
Nope.

So you´re over it?
Of course.

I have no problem with the fact
that the happiest day of my life

was just casual Saturday
to you.

Every time I walk past that
wedding picture,

I die a little.

I´m glad you´re over it.

Carmen, what happened?

I got in a fight with Piper.

She kept calling me a sl*t,
then she pushed me.

Oh, my god.
Are you all right?

You have blood on you.

That´s piper´s.

Really?

Yeah, I punched her
in the nose.

Damn!

My girl´s a scrapper!
Whoo!

George!

Come on.
Let me have this.

She drew blood.

I didn´t start the fight.

I didn´t even want to fight her,
but, ugh! She made me.

You believe me, right?

We believe you, honey.

Good.
´Cause Mr. Durango didn´t.

I´m suspended.

What? You´re suspended?
That´s not right.

He´s paying me back by getting
back at my daughter.

You still think
i´m being paranoid?

Hey, what´s going on?

Carmen got in a fight, mom.

Oh.

Look, you got blood on you.

It´s the other girl´s.

Damn! My granddaughter´s
a scrapper!

Mom, we don´t encourage
violence in this house.

Benny, take Carmen upstairs
and help her clean up, huh?

Sure.

Let´s go, champ.

Okay. I agree, this rango´s
got a history with you.

Maybe he even thinks
that he can still bully you,

but he has never messed
with me before.

He is gonna fix this
and fix it now.

Wait. Don´t tell me you´re
going back to the website.

To hell with the e-ppointment.

When my baby´s hurt,
I go medieval.

We´re going over there.

Let me get my jacket.

Oh, now you remember
your jacket.

[ Knock on door ]
Come in.

Hello, Mr. Durango.
I´m Angie Lopez.

You know spuds.

I´m glad you´re here.

We need to talk about your
daughter.

No, no more talking.

I told you I wanted
those girls brought in,

and you didn´t do it,
and my daughter got hurt.

Now you´re gonna do something,

starting with
unsuspending Carmen.

I can´t do that.

Yes, you can.
Carmen is the victim here.

She is not.

I spoke to Piper and the other
girls who were there.

Carmen started the fight.

What?

That doesn´t make any sense.

It does if you know that Adam
broke up with Carmen

to go out with Piper.

Piper and her friends
are lying to you.

You´re not exactly
an unbiased party,

so unless you have a witness
to back up carmen´s story,

I have to take piper´s word.

I started the rumor about Carmen
´cause she broke up with me.

Then I saw Piper and her friends
making fun of Carmen.

And?

And piper´s lying.

I saw her push Carmen and throw
the first punch.

She started the fight.

And no one put you up
to this?

No, sir.

Okay.

Mr. and Mrs. Lopez,

i´ll speak to the
vice principal,

and i´ll get carmen´s
suspension reversed.

I´m sorry.

[ Sighs ]

I´m really sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Lopez.

Can you give this note
to Carmen?

Sure.

Carmen, come down here!

Is everything okay
with the kids?

Was I babysitting?

Yes.

Well, in that case,

they were a handful,
you owe me 20 bucks.

Carmen, good news.

You´re not suspended.
Piper is.

You can go back to school.

Mr. Durango´s gonna make sure

none of the kids ever mess
with you again.

I´m not going back.

Carmen, everything is gonna
be better now.

Adam´s gonna tell everyone
that he lied.

You don´t understand.
It´s too late.

I´m the school wh*re now.

Carmen, I think you´re getting
a little carried away.

[ Beep ]
Yeah, this is Jason.

I´d like to leave a message
for the school wh*re.

Who are those boys?
I´ll get them suspended.

Then suspend everybody!

You know what else happened
today?

A boy followed me
in the bathroom

and asked me
if I wanted to do it!

Honey...

Another boy pulled up my shirt

when I was walking down
the hall!

Please don´t make me
go back, please.

It´s okay, baby.

We´ll figure something out.

Go upstairs so your mom
and I can talk.

She´s not wrong.

She can never get her
reputation back.

I don´t want to see her
suffer for three more years.

Me either.

What are you thinking?

Private school.

That´s what I was thinking.

Can we afford it?

No. We´ll have to sell
the boy.

George, really,
what are we gonna do?

We´ll be okay.

We´ll cut back on a few things.
We´ll make some adjustments.

Maybe I can go back
to work.

Mom...you say you love me,

and you say you love the flower
vase in the hall.

If one of those things
broke the other,

would you still love me?

You can think about it.

Sell the boy.

You remember that guy
rango durango?

Man, rango durango.
I remember that guy.

Oooff!
I put a hurt on him.

Rango durango?

You remember.

He was picking on you,
so I beat him up.

Oh, so that´s what happened.

You didn´t run away
like a little girl?

Hey, Ernie the eliminator
doesn´t run away.

So that´s what happened.

You beat up rango durango.

That´s what i´m saying.

What would you do now
if you saw him?

Hey, I kicked his butt back
then, and i´ll kick it now.

Don´t drop the soap.

Ayway.