02x19 - Secrets and Lies

[bunniefuu]

Okay, I started two piles.

This one´s trash,

and this one´s trash
that goes to goodwill.

This is all junk.
I´m just gonna throw it out.

Those are pictures of me!

I saved them from high school.

These are
the only pictures I have

because you didn´t take
any when I was little.

George, I took a lot
of pictures when you were a kid.

And I only got
four more left on the roll,

and then i´m
gonna get it developed.

Dad, phone for you.

Who is it?

He says he´s your dad.

Give me the phone, Max.

Wait.
Is this really my grandpa?

Yes, honey.
Give me the phone.

Hold on.
I know I don´t really know you,

but you owe me


Okay, Max,
give me the phone!

Sure, i´ll
call you "grandpa."

As soon as
I see those gifts!

Listen...

I´m sorry. George
isn´t available right now.

So, who wants
to see me in my yearbook?

Dad, what are you doing?

You´ve been driving yourself
crazy looking for your dad,

and now that you found him,
you don´t want to talk to him?

No, I don´t.

I don´t get it.

Look, when i´m ready
to talk to you about this,

i´ll talk to you about this.

That´s right.

He just found out that his old
man´s a jackass, dirtbag loser,

and when he´s ready
to talk about that,

he will talk about that.

Mom!

George, can you help me
in the kitchen, please?

Yes.

Hey...
I didn´t make this up.

You kids are old enough
to know

that your grandfather is living
in a car, an old, defeated man

with nothing
left to do but die...

Because
he left your grandma.

That´s right.

When you leave your grandma,
you die.

When are you gonna tell her
the truth about your father?

He could show up here,

and then she´s gonna
find out he´s not poor.

He´s a rich guy
with a big construction company.

He´s never coming here, ´cause
i´m never calling him back.

Doesn´t she
deserve to know

what your
half brother told you?

What? That while she was
working two jobs to keep

a roof over our heads,
he was making a fortune?

Angie, it would
k*ll her to know that.

Dad, grandma
says grandpa has a tail.

Does that mean
i´m gonna grow a tail, too?

That depends on you, Max.

It´s under your skin
right now.

And every time you lie,
it grows a little bit more.

I broke carmen´s cd player.

You just bought yourself
another day, monkey boy.

Benny.

Gina.

The only thing I like better
than working next to you

for 30 years is eating
next to you for 30 years.

Don´t you usually
coil yourself around that

and wait for it to die?

Thank you, Gina.

For what?

For servicing our troops
during the civil w*r.

Hey, uh...

Benny,
I was looking for you.

You got a call
from a...Manny Lopez.

Manny called me?

Hey, your baby´s daddy finally
got that carton of cigarettes,

and he´s on his way back.

Screw you
and the homeless people

sleeping under
your breasts.

Personal call, mom?

You could say that.

I´m calling your father.

What?

He called me.

He probably found out

that we both have decent jobs,
and he´s looking for a handout.

I was never gonna talk to him,
but now that I know he´s down,

why not kick him?

Don´t call, mom.

Hey! Don´t tell
me not to call!

You know what? I got


Look, I got
something to tell you.

I bet this loser is taking
his calls at the bus station.

Better -- he´s taking
it at some place

called "Lopez construction."

Ooh, that´s gotta hurt.

What are you doing?!

Mom, he´s rich.

What?

Lopez construction
is his company.

He owns it.

Look, i´m sorry I lied,
but I didn´t want to hurt you.

Manny´s rich.

Mom, wait!

Hey, everything okay?
You want me to stop her?

No, she´s probably
just going back to work.

Just gonna give
her some space.

Good idea.

[ Intro to w*r´s "low rider"
plays ]

♫ all my friends
know the low rider ♫

♫ the low rider
is a little higher ♫

Hey, "leaving Las Vegas"!

Lunch was over
two hours ago.

Fred, he´ll get my tab.

Oh, don´t worry about it.

He can afford it.
His father´s a millionaire.

Mom, getting plastered

is not gonna make you
hate Manny any less.

It sure did
the night you were conceived.

Yeah, that was
a bad night for both of us.

Okay.

Let´s just get it out.

Manny´s
a low-life piece of crap.

And I hated him for leaving
us for another family,

but when I found out he had
money, and he never helped us,

I wanted to break his neck.

George...let´s do it.

Let´s go to Phoenix
and break his neck,

and then we can
head to Mexico.

No, no -- Canada!
They´ll never suspect.

Mom, I think we both know you´re
not allowed back in Canada.

George...

That was supposed
to be our life.

I know.

All the money,
all the comfort.

When does my ship
come in, huh?

Where´s my pot of gold?

Where´s
my time-share in Orlando?

Mom, I think we both know
you can´t go back to Orlando.

Look, mom, it´s in the past,
and it´s out of our control.

You can´t let
it make you crazy.

There´s no damn justice.

You know,
he´s got a fortune,

and I got a purse
full of maraschino cherries.

Shh!

Come on mom.

Get your stuff from the office,
and i´ll take you home.

You´re drunk.

I´m not drunk.

Oh, yeah?
How does Fred look to you?

You mean the silver fox?

[ Purrs ]

Okay, i´m drunk.
Take me home.

Hey, George,
you find your mom?

Yeah, she´s a little depressed.
She´s out in the car.

I´m gonna grab
her things and take her home.

Hey, it must be hard

finding out that the dad that
left you is rich.

If he would have stayed, you
might have been rich.

And I would have been the friend
of a rich guy.

Hey, I don´t want to break your
heart man, but the truth is...

If I had money... I probably
wouldn´t be here.

I´d be out on Cape Cod having
highballs with the Kennedys.

Hey, it´s your mom.

Mom, I told you
to wait out in the car!

You don´t tell me what to do!
I wiped your butt.

Where you going?

To the bathroom!

All right, make it fast.

Don´t tell me
how to pee!

Hey, Benny, it must be nice
to have a three-hour break.

I wish my son
were the manager.

Oh, have you got a son?

I just thought a chunk of ugly
fell off you.

[ Laughs ]

Mom!

Everyone, back up.
Just give her some air.

Let me through.
What happened?

She fell, Jack.

She tripped over
the cart.

Oh, man.

Why can´t you people
hurt yourselves at home?

You in pain?

Oh, yeah.

Ohh...

Better go call 911.

All right, everybody,
back to work.

Come on.
Quit your gawking.

[ Groaning ]

Mom?

What?

Where does it hurt?

It´s only gonna hurt
the company´s wallet,

because this is what´s gonna
buy me my time-share in tampa!

[ Groaning ]

Hey, I want some oysters.

Stop!

Come on you guys.

Oh!

Hey look! It´s another episode
of "grandmas gone wild!"

Grandma, what´s the matter?

Nothing, i´m fine.

Nobody talk to grandma today,
okay.

Is grandma sick?

No Max, it was touch and go
there for awhile, but she pulled
through

so lets give grandma a nice
round of applause!

[Cheering]

Grandma drank too much
yesterday.

Alcohol is basically a poison

and if you drink too much of it,
you get sick.

What if you drink just the right
amount?

Nobody knows what the right
amount is, Max.

It´s somewhere between the first
sip and drinking milk directly
from a cow.

So, is your back okay?

Yeah, my back´s fine.

I´m just sweating
so much Tequila,

if you lick the bottom of
my feet, you can get a buzz.

Look, mom,
now that you´re sober,

I think you know it´s crazy to
try to get workmen´s comp.

Oh, no, no, no. I´m still
going through with that.

You just said
you were fine!

To you.

To everyone else,

I have a nonspecific
lower lumbar pain,

and nobody can prove
I don´t.

Don´t do this, mom.

George, I fell.

Everybody saw me.

Yeah, but you were drunk!

It was just like aunt rita´s
wedding all over again,

except this time,
you had underwear on.

George...

This is my chance
to even the score.

I couldn´t go out and start
a million-dollar company

like your dad.

I was too busy struggling
to raise you.

I deserve this money.

So, what are you gonna do?

Stay inside for
the rest of your life?

Those insurance companies
are gonna be watching you!

Hey, insurance, IRS, the th*gs
from the kids telethon --

get in line.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hey, Jack,
what are you doing here?

I heard Benny
was staying with you.

I just came by to see
if she was okay.

Oh, yeah, that´s nice, Jack.
Come on in.

I think she just
went in the kitchen.

Oh, well, it´s good to hear
she´s walking.

Oh, my god!

[ Groans ]

Oh, just headed to
the little girls´ room.

Jack...can I get you
something to drink?

Aw, Benny!
No, thank you, i´m fine.

Let me help you up.

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

How about this,
huh, Jack?


I work in the factory,

and not one accident
till this.

Guess it was just
a matter of time, huh?

Yeah.

Ohh, ohh. Ooh.

What´d the doctor say?

Oh, what do they
always say?

"Take off your clothes."

[ Laughing ]

Oh! Ohh!

Oh, god...

Please don´t
take away the laughter.

Actually, mom,
after two weeks off with pay,

you should be
back on your feet again.

I wouldn´t count on it.

I haven´t been so lucky
in my life.

Yeah, but you´re tough.

Four weeks and you should be
back on the job, right?

Six weeks is
plenty of time to heal.

George, take it easy.

Yeah, take it easy.

Your mom should stay out
as long as she needs to.

That´s what insurance
is for.

Well, you´re the boss,
Jack.

Not the manager,
the boss.

I´ll check in
with you later in the week.

Oh, who´s covering me
at work?

Oh! I know!
What about Gina?

Well, that´s a great idea
except,

she´s supposed to be
on vacation.

[ Groans ]

Of course, i´m sure
she´ll understand.

Oh, i´m sure she will.

And tell her "thank you"
from me.

I´ll see you later,
George.

Okay. Thanks, Jack.

Have a good day.

Yes!!

I´m not gonna tell you
not to do it,

but I think what you´re doing
is wrong.

It´s not wrong.
It´s payback.

This is god
setting things straight.

You know, they say
he works in mysterious ways.

Yeah, but what if it´s
a test,

and he´s giving you a chance
to do the right thing?

George, you don´t know
anything about god.

He got me drunk
and tripped me.

Hey, George.

Here´s the papers
you need to sign

so your mom
can get workmen´s comp.

Poor, poor Benny.

I wouldn´t wish a back injury
on my worst enemy.

Yeah, now I don´t
have to.

I´m really sorry about
your vacation, Gina.

Oh, yeah, well,

my daughter will probably
get married again anyway.

Tell me, George,

does Benny need help
going to the bathroom?

Taking a shower?

Is it humiliating?

You know, I don´t know why you
two hate each other so much.

Someday, you could
run hell together.

Hey, how´d it go
with my mom this morning?

I took her to the clinic,
and I took her home.

You got the note?

The one the crooked doctor
gave her?

Shh!

What are you trying to do,
get my mom caught?

I wish
she would get caught,

and I am done
being your messenger.

I think what the two of you
are doing is disgusting.

What did the doctor say?

Whatever your mom
wants him to say.

She has soft tissue damage
in the lower lumbar region.

And if we want, I have
chronic fatigue syndrome,

you have post-traumatic
stress disorder,

Max has
postpartum depression,

and Carmen has
hysterical mood swings,

although he may have got that
one right by accident.

Look, I don´t want
to do this, Angie,

but I owe it
to my mom.

It´s my fault.

She asked me not to go
looking for my dad,

and I did it anyways.

And she´s the one
that ended up getting hurt.

George, it´s not your fault!
You didn´t make him rich!

And what if she´d found out
on her own?

Would you
still be helping her?

No you wouldn´t, because it´s
wrong, and you know
it´s wrong.

We talked about this
last night,

and you said, "I think what
you´re doing is wrong,

but i´m done
talking about it."

What happened to that?

Fine.
I´m done talking about it.

Go ahead and give her
worker´s comp...

But it´s wrong!

Now i´m done
talking about it.

[ No audio ]

What are you doing?

Checking to see how much
worker´s comp i´m gonna get.

Hey, you know how much money you
get if you lose a thumb?

´Cause a thumb´s worth more
than a finger,

but a hand´s worth more
than a thumb.

How much if you´d lose your
tongue? Then we´d all win.

So, how much money you think
you´re gonna get for this?

Well, I don´t know.
I´m getting to that chart.

Okay, here we go.

Here´s my salary.

My compensation would be --

holy crap!

What?

I´m only gonna get


How come they don´t tell you
that before you hurt yourself?!

You´re right, mom.

I don´t want to
live in a country

where nurses, teachers, and
liars can´t earn a decent wage.

I don´t have to settle
for workmen´s comp.

The doctor said
I had a good case.

I´m gonna go
for a big, fat lawsuit.

So you´re gonna
sue the company

that has been putting food
on your table

for the last 35 years?

I´m not greedy.
I´ll settle for a million.

And you still think
you´re doing the right thing?

Absolutely.

You´re not ashamed at all?

No, sir.

All right, that´s it.

Kids? Get in here.

What are you doing?

What´s wrong?

Grandma thinks it´s all right to
cheat the powers brothers

out of a million dollars,

so this whole family´s gonna
follow her example.

From now on, we´re all gonna
lie, cheat, and steal.

Carmen...keep doing
what you´re doing.

Max, you see a toy you want,
just take it

and say your mom
already paid for it.

But, dad, I can´t lie.

My tail.

Don´t worry about your tail.

You can use it to take off
the security tabs.

And you know what
i´m gonna do?

Right after you settle
your lawsuit,

i´m gonna go over to your house,
and i´m gonna fall.

Then i´m gonna sue you,
huh?

How do you like what i´m
teaching the kids now?

I was okay up until the part
you were gonna sue me.

Kids -- never sue family.

It makes Thanksgiving
even more uncomfortable.

You guys know
what just happened here?

Yeah, you used us to shame
grandma Benny into something,

but it didn´t work.

Very good. Dismissed.

What are you doing?

I´m gonna find a lawyer.
Ooh.

"You may have been hurt,
and you don´t even know it."

I think I can work
with this guy.

Mom...

You´ve done some pretty
messed-up things.

You never celebrated
my birthday,

sometimes you left me at home
without any food, and...

I think I remember
you giving me beer

and making me do some funny
baby dance for your friends.

But I could
always look up to you...

Because when it came to
the big stuff,

you did the right thing.

You never passed me off
to another relative.

You worked hard.

I respect you.

That´s more than I can say
about Manny.

After all this time...

Don´t let him make you
do the wrong thing.

I never gave you beer.
You got it from the trash.

Mom, I hope I see you
at work tomorrow.

You´re late.

Hey, I had to get another note
from my doctor

so he could give me this.

Please don´t call me
handicapped.

I want to be treated
like everyone else.

Well, i´m glad you showed up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

´cause i´m a hard worker,
i´m a good person,

blah, blah, blah.

No, I need you out there.

Gina had an accident
covering your shift.

What happened?

She lost a finger
in the drill press.

Was it a thumb?

Yeah.

Crap!

That´s $30,000!

Why?! Why do all of
the good things

happen to bad people?!

Mom?

What?!

Gina´s gonna be
needing this.

Hey. What you having
for lunch?

Um, Turkey sandwich.

Yeah? I got ham.

So...big plans
for the weekend?

Nah, i´m not doing
anything special.

Nah, me either.

Ever been with a woman
without a thumb?

No, I haven´t.

You know...When you lose
your thumb,

other parts of your body
compensate.

No! No, they don´t!