04x16 - George Takes a Stroll Down Memory Pain

[bunniefuu]

Hey, what's that?

You won't believe it.

There was this box
in the garage

that I been throwing trash
into for years.

Turns out it's full of stuff
from when you were a kid.

Oh, my god, mom --
my first baseball glove.

Wa-cha!
Hey, batter, wa-cha.

My pocketknife.

Hey, wait a minute.

That's my pocketknife.

I lost it in your backyard.

That loco, "I lost it
in the backyard."

My mom gave this to me
for my eighth birthday.

No, but look --

I scratched "e.C." On it
right there,

for "Ernie cardenas."

You told me that was
Eric Clapton's pocketknife.

Eric Clapton will also
take back his retainer.

Mom, I told you
it didn't fit.

And I told you
to make it fit.

There's a lot of memories
in here.

Oh, my god, mom --

my "chico and the man"
lunchbox.

I thought this
was gone forever.

Watch it when you open.
"Lookin' good."

You know, George,
some people say

that memories are priceless.

I disagree.

I'll give you the whole box
for $1,200.

What?

I lost money at the track.
I can't pay my bills.

In a couple of days,

I'm gonna be sitting
in the dark,

no heat, no food,
no hot water.

Well, then you can gamble
on other things,

like, "how long can I live
on a packet of ketchup?"

George.

No, mom.
That's your own fault.

I'm not gonna pay you
for my childhood memories.

All right.

I'll just throw
this stuff out.

Fine.
I don't care.

Really?

'Cause you used to wuv me.

Mr. Bear-bear.

She already took one eye
for her dress.

Please, help me.

He-e-e-lp me.

All right.

$200.

Done.

Now, son,
can I borrow $1,000?

No. You know better
than to come to me.

No handouts.

You know what you can do?

You
can kiss me at pooh corner.

Hey, Mr. Bear-bear.
Cochino.

What's that?

This is all the stuff
from my childhood.

Well, where do you keep
our childhood stuff?

Your mom has a storage unit
downtown,

because apparently,
everything you do is special.

What's this?

Oh, mom was too cheap
to take pictures,

so I had to draw
my memories.

I'll never forget this day.

The day the stick man
choked your balloon?

It's not a balloon.
That's my head.

And the stick man is my
baseball coach, Mr. Trevino.

He's hugging me after hitting
the game-winning home run.

Sweet.

Whoa, cool.

Is this your mouthpiece from
when you played football?

No, that's your mom's
bite guard.

She started
grinding her teeth

right around the time we
moved in with grandma Benny.

You and mom lived with grandma?

When we first got married,

we couldn't afford
our own place.

You got married, but you still
had to live with your mom?

That's ghetto.

At least in the ghetto,

the dogs are outside
on a chain.

Mom was inside tucking me
in at night.

Hey, honey.

Do you have to smoke
right next to me?

I'm pregnant
with your grandchild.

Why should I change my life

just 'cause you couldn't
keep them crossed?

Did you hear
what she said to me?

Come on, Angie, can't you
sit someplace else?

I mean,
my mom's trying to relax.

What took you so long?

Oh, after work, I went over
to Ernie's, mom.

We wrote a new song called
"g.E.D."

It's like the other one
we got, "d.U.I.,"

except it's more
of a ballad.

It's got a positive message,
too, for the kids,

'cause at the end,
we graduate

instead of rolling the car
like the other one.

Honey, have you thought...

Of maybe looking for
another job after work --

maybe something
with benefits?

Baby, don't do this.

I need you to believe
in the band.

"Dos bad asses"
is our future.

Okay.

I'm gonna go eat
in the kitchen,

where I can protect our child
from second-hand Benny.

Too bad babies
don't come out of mouths,

'cause yours is already
dilated 10 centimeters.

Couldn't you at least say
something?

Eating.

* all my friends
know the low rider *

You got to help me out.

Where else am I gonna
get 1,000 bucks?

You always do this to me.
I can't help you this time.

It's too much money.

You better figure out a way,

or I'm gonna tell George
our little secret,

and I'm not bluffing
this time.

Benny, you swore
you wouldn't.

I wonder how mad George
is gonna be

when he finds out that you
lied to him for 16 years.

Let's see.
Oh, George.

Sh-sh-shh.

Okay, okay, I'll get you
the money somehow.

Just don't say anything.

What? Don't bother me.
I'm going through my box.

Mom, dad, guess what.

St. Theresa's is organizing
a field trip

to Rome to see the Vatican.

But before you say anything,
it's only $900 --

airfare, hotel, everything.

Well, if you're going,

you're gonna need
new clothes...

And some spending money.

And since we're
pretending...

How about an Italian sports car
made out of chocolate?

No.

But you guys spend money
on stupid stuff for yourselves

all the time.

Really?

What are you doing?

I'm gonna show her
the checkbook.

Look at this, Carmen --
$78 for the gas bill,

$200 for school books,
$1,000 for your mom.

Angela, if this is about
that new bigger chest

we wanted for the bedroom --
you know, the saline one...

$1,000 isn't enough.

I don't want the knobs
all crooked

and the drawers pointing
in two different...

It's not for that.

Then you're being selfish,
Angie.

You're wasting money.

It's for our vow renewal.

But if you don't love me enough
to celebrate our love publicly,

I'll understand.

I'm sorry, baby.

I didn't know.
I'm sorry.

Mom, it's the bank.

Grandma's trying to cash that
check you wrote her for $1,000.

But she's on their watch list.

$1,000.

Ange, you gave my mom
the money

even after I said no,
didn't you?

If you don't love me enough
to overlook

what seems to be an
inconsistency in my story,

then I can't talk to you
right now.

I can hear grandma yelling.

Ooh, I think she just bit a guy.

I'll take care of it.

No.

Hi, this is George Lopez.
Do not cash that check.

That old lady used to be
our babysitter.

But we got some
nanny-cam footage of her.

That woman's a monster.

You haven't told me
one good reason

why you'd give my mom $1,000.

Did she threaten
to put a curse on you?

Why isn't it enough that
I felt sorry for her, huh?

She needed help, George.

Is grandma in trouble?

Your grandma's always
in trouble.

And she knows she can
take advantage of your mom,

because your mom never
stood up to her

like I did a long time ago.

I was like,
"I can't hear you. What?"

Clean it up, stupid.

What's going on?

Oh, the cow knocked
over the ashtray.

It's nothing.
It's my fault.

I'm sorry.

Did she make you cry?

She is not crying.

Her eyes are watering

because she's allergic
to hard work.

You missed a spot.
Moo.

I'm sick of you
treating Angie this way.

We're out of here.

From now on, I won't do
anything for you.

And you don't do
anything for me.

I'm gonna make it on my own,
by myself,

and provide for Angie
because sabes quã©, I'm a man.

And I don't need anything
from you anymore.

Come on.

That day was the turning point
of my life.

After that,
I sold my first song.

We used the money
to get our own place,

and everything was perfect,
until the next day.

What happened?

You were born.

George, we need to talk!

Kids, go upstairs.

Grandma just lost $1,000.
We should get in the tub.

There could be sh**ting.

If you're gonna hear this, I
want you to hear it from me.

What are you talking about?

There's a reason I lent
your mom the money.

I am really sorry about this,

but you should know
what happened

right before you told
your mother off.

Okay.

George. George.

George!

Go across the street
and get me some smokes.

Mom, I'm practicing.
Wa-cha.

That's where the tear
comes out. Wa-cha.

I never get tired of hearing
that chord.

I'm going.

And don't stop to look
at the dirty magazines.

Mom, not in front
of my wife.

I can't do nothing.

I hate the way
you talk to him.

He is gonna be a father,

and you still treat him
like he's a child.

We got to get out of here.

Oh, yeah?
Where are you gonna go?

You don't have two cents
to your name.

Well, I could swallow my pride
and call my dad in Miami.

We could stay with him,

and he could get us jobs
at the hospital.

George isn't going
to Miami.

He's not gonna leave
this house.

I say he is.

I'm his wife and the mother
of his child.

Let's see who he listens to
when he gets back.

Okay.

Okay, Princess.

Don't get your big-girl panties
in a bunch.

You know,
there is another option.

I could give you some money

so you could get
a place in L.A.

You're gonna give us money?
Yeah, right.

Hey, I don't want you here
when that baby comes.

If anybody is gonna crawl around
this house with a bottle,

it's gonna be me.

H-How much is this?



Benny, uh, thank you.

I don't know what to say.

Just keep your mouth shut.

Don't tell anybody
what's in this book

or I will k*ll you
with what's in that book.

George can't know
about this.

He'd be mad at me for taking
money behind his back.

Make something up.

You told him you could handle
the birth control,

and he believed that.

But I want him to walk
out of here like a man,

not because his wife found
money and told him to go.

So I'll make him mad enough
to want to leave.

Okay.
I'll kick it up a notch.

You mean
you've been holding back?

Clean it up, stupid.

So, the moment I thought
I became a man was all fake?

It was you and my mom
playing me.

I was trying to help,
George.

What else was planned
behind my back, huh?

Did you and my mom arrange
my promotion to manager?

That took 15 years, baby.

That was all you.

I am so, so sorry.

Look, sorry doesn't cut it

when you go behind my back
and take money from my mom.

Wait a second.

If she gave you
the 5 grand,

that means you never met
Tommy Lee at the dry cleaners.

You never sold my power ballad
to motley crue.

It never made the charts
in Germany, did it?

It doesn't matter anymore.

You became a wonderful father
and husband.

Plus you're pretty damn good
in the sack,

and I'm not just
saying that.

More lies!

Angie, I've been lied to
so much in my life.

I don't even know
what's true anymore.

Is this a box full of memories
or lies?

Was I really the champion
spaghetti eater

in the third grade?

Did I earn the golden noodle?

Did my little league coach
really leave me

$10,000 on his deathbed?

Someone left you $10,000?

I've never seen this card
before.

"Georgie,
I hope this $10,000

"makes a difference
in your life.

"I put the check
in your mom's name

because you're only 12,
but it's your money."

Angie, he never called.

But we weren't home anyway.

That was the week my mom took me
to Vegas in her new car.

Oh, no!

What did she tell you?

I told the truth.

Okay.

Well, now that you know
that I gave you money,

you can start paying it back.

$1,000.
And you know what?

In the memo you can write,
"for being the bestest mommy."

That really doesn't cover
what you mean to me.

How about if I write, "to the
most evil woman in the world,

who stole money
from her own son"?!

Cash would be better.

I found the card
from coach trevino.

'Member?
You 'member.

Mom, you stole
$10,000 from me.

No, I didn't.
I gave Angie $10,000.

You gave me $5,000.

Your lying is becoming
a sickness.

Mom, that money was
for my future.

I could've gotten a tutor
for my dyslexia.

I could've gone to college.

But you didn't.

Because you said
we didn't have the money.

Where did the money go?

George, I put food on your
plate, a roof over your head.

What about the money you earned
from working two jobs?

Well, I was saving it
for your college.

I didn't go to college.

Well, then,
why was I working two jobs?

Look...

We're just talking
in circles here.

The money is gone.

You know, mom, you didn't
just take money from me.

You took the moment
I thought I became a man.

That's it.

I'm putting my foot down
for the last time.

I want you out of here.

I should've let you go
to Florida.

Yeah, why didn't you?

Then you could've kept
all the money

and gotten me
out of your life forever.

Maybe that's not
what I wanted.

Then what did you want?

Forget it.

What, you didn't want me
to leave?

Your lips aren't moving,
so I know you're not lying.

You would've missed me.

Why can't you just say that?

You know, I don't have
time for this.

I got to go
make 1,000 bucks.

I'm gonna go flip off
a cop.

And I'm gonna take him
on a high-speed chase

and hope that
when he catches me,

he beats me
into the big bucks.

I'll write you the check, if you
say you didn't want me to leave.

I'd rather take the beating.

That way I won't remember
this crap tomorrow.

I'll write you the check, then
I'll hit you with a shovel.

All right.
Write the check.

No, you say it first, and then
I'll write the check.

We do it
at the same time.

If you would've moved
to Florida,

I would have...

Missed you.

Thank you.

You just bought a kind word
from your mom for $1,000.

Shut up.

There's an extra $100 in it

if you take me to the zoo
and buy me a balloon.

Wow.

She stole from you,

but she finally admitted
she needs you around.

How does
that make you feel?

You're not off the hook.

Damn it.
I can't do nothing.