03x01 - Tabula Rasa

[bunniefuu]

BASED ON QUITE TRUE EVENTS

SIMILARITIES WITH REAL PERSONS
ARE NOT ALWAYS PURELY COINCIDENTAL

And we all breathe in together

and slowly breathe out again.

I'm back again.
Not quite the same anymore.

What you see here
is just the shell of something

that you once thought you knew.

I've finally reached a point

where I could leave everything behind
with a single breath.

How I desperately wanted
to make the cover at the time.

You can do sh*t,
nobody'll help you now.

But my toxic relationships kept me from it.

f*ck you, Bax!

Pirmin, you have other qualities.

I wasn't myself
and didn't realise what I really wanted,

what mattered in life and
what made me truly happy.

- Bowling.
- Bowling?

A few colleagues died,

others almost did a few times…

I faced the pain and let go

what wasn't good for me.

It took a lot of effort and courage

but I prevailed.

Call me if you're in Bern

then we'll sip a coffee from a plastic cup.

But all this left a mark on me.

I knew I needed to start over again.

Tabula rasa.

I searched long in the emptiness

till for the first time in my life

I found myself.

Now let's free our animus together.

Hey!

Thanks!

2 of these, OK?

- Are you alright?
- Yes, you too?

Sorry.

Give it a good shake.

I've really arrived in my new life,

I was making the coolest smoothies in town.

I felt like the guy with the moustache
who fell into the magic potion.

Nothing could knock me.

But there was still something
that I couldn't quite let go.

Erasmo, I need your help now.

I have to go to the Valais.

I told myself every day: "Namaste,
the time will come."

Man! Piss off,
f*cking hippie!

COPS

Guys! Please take care!

Careful, there are…
My God!

I just told you.

Christ!

- You can get rid of all this right away.
- What?

No, the bowling ba*ls are in prime condition,

we can still use them.

But you never play anymore!
And why keep this vase?

I like it,
we won't throw it out.

That's junk from aunt Ursula.

But she brought it from Sri Lanka.

Stop! The things in that corner
stay here,

the raclette grill too.
Everything!

They inherited a massive villa
from this sugar daddy.

And after they merged the police station
with the Romands,

Pirmin decided
he'd rather change diapers

than speak French.

Benjamin, what are you doing?
What have you got there?

Come, give it to me.

He shouldn't put it in his mouth.

Look how good his grasp reflex already is.

Let it go.

Have you heard from him again?

This time it shocked me to the core.

Awesome, Schmidi,

how resolutely you're following this through.

It took me ages to get where you are.

It's incredible what you can achieve

with the right breathing and focused thinking.

- Yeah.
- How was it for you, Julie?

Better. But it's quite deep-seated in me.

I just can't get over him.

Over the guy from the internet?

Forget him,
he was just after your money.

Or try these h*m* drops from Stöffu.

They really do the trick!

Will you bring me another one?
I've hardly anything left.

But I told you to take at most 4 drops a day!

That's strong stuff,
you can't just down it like that.

Ms van Storchen?

I wanted to ask you again…
I've been sober for 3 months

and have developed a lot.

Mightn't it be time to meet Ms Brotz?

I've really created space in my heart

and the plant's doing great.

Ms van Storchen said
that when the plant was big and healthy,

my heart would be ready for a relationship.

I wanted to speed things up a bit
with the right fertiliser.

I wouldn't be in a rush now.

You're still too fragile
for a new relationship...

I'm not talking about a relationship.
But a first date…

- Maybe more may happen...
- She won't run away.

See you later, Mr Schmidhalter. 4 pm.

And don't forget to water your plant. OK?

- Yes? Von Roten?
- This is Annette Brotz from Fedpol.

- How, Fedpol?
- The Federal Police, Mr...

Sure, I know what Fedpol is.

Mr von Roten, we're looking for a file
from Biffiger.

We urgently need access to it.

OFFICIAL SEAL. OPEN ONLY
IN CASE OF MY VIOLENT DEATH. DIEGO BIFFIGER

COPY RELATED DOCUMENT M,
LOCKER BA1 J28

It looks great already.

No, Benjamin,
don't put this in your mouth.

Give it to me.

You look good in this overall.

The little tiger?

Mr von Roten?

Hi, Regina.
Listen, I've found a document.

A supplementary document
of your deceased father…

Come here as quickly as you can.

There's more?

I thought we'd signed everything.

We can come and see you again
next week.

We're in the middle of moving.

- We've just moved into Dad's villa.
- Listen.

You must come here at once. At once.

- And not a word to anyone.
- OK, fine.

Mr von Roten?

Hello?

- Strange.
- What?

The notary called.
I think something's wrong.

Did you see?

Take off your shoes!

Great that it finally worked out.

I'm Juni, Valmira's manager.

Sit down first.

Valmira, cool that you're here.

Romi and I saw your video.

Sitting in the Panda, money,
bills, dollar, money!

Dari, dari, money, money!

Ferrari, party, yo b*tch!

Claudi and Romi.
After studying at the University of St. Gallen,

their grandmother paid for a music studio.

But they've spent more time at the gym
than on big stages.

We at RoClaRecords
are following a new concept now

and are looking for new artists.

I don't know why nobody's thought of it,

but you need to be marketed internationally.

Internationally?

Several countries, not just the Valais.

Well...

Actually, we know quite well what we want.

It's all in this dossier.

I carefully wrote down everything
you need to know.

Like what we want to achieve,
where we want to perform,

with whom we'd like to work,

- how many jelly babies for backstage...
- Paper?

The only place where I still use paper

is on the can
when I wipe my a*s.

Nobody cares about something like this out there.

This is no paper talk.

Record something today
and next day

it's on the desk of all the big labels.

A few calls, video sh**t in Mallorca,

to the moon.
We'll make a star of you.

- Well, actually I am her manager.
- No.

Didn't you see the sign at the entrance?
RoClaRecords.

Producing and management.
That's our concept.

That sounds like a price tag.

- 40,000.
- 40,000?

That's nothing in our world.

- Expenses.
- Know what?

We're gone.

- f*cking con artist.
- Juni.

Valmira! Are you coming?

Juni, come back to the table.

Know what? Forget it!

I don't know yet if it was my beard,

my sure instinct for the right ingredients

or my promotional video on YouTube,

but especially female customers
flocked to the shop.

This one's a real winner,
it sells like hot cakes.

The right breakfast for champions.
Here, take a pen with you.

Thanks. Have a nice day.

A banana dreamy creamy for you, right?

No, I'd prefer a mango-kiwi deluxe

- and...
- The kitchen's closed.

But you've just made a smoothie
for those 2 women…

- Hello?
- Yes?

What kind of an attitude's this, man?

It's worse than at the Rote Fabrik.

OK, if you don't want to earn some extra

to be able to get a proper haircut,

I'll go to Starbucks.

At least there they donate
to the bean farmers in Guatemala.

f*ck.

Bax?

Oh, Ms Brotz!

- What are you doing here?
- I'm not here.

Well, I'm here now,
but not normally.

Banana Time?
You're selling smoothies in Bern?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Sorry. I have an emergency.

I need to go to the University Hospital
because of my ear lobe.

Bye.

- Hey, everything alright?
- Yes.

Yes, actually I'm fine.

Why are you running away from me?

I didn't know
how to deal with the situation.

I had to think of you.

I'm onto a case in the Valais.

I'm finished with the Valais.

I'm no longer a cop.

That's what I heard.

It was all too much for me
and I put a stop to it.

And does that apply to me too?

No, of course not.

But I'm not at the point yet

where I could do things with you.

- OK.
- I mean

sipping coffee from a plastic cup or so...

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I'm here. Call me when you've got time.

OK.

First he rushes us like this
and then he's not even home?

He must be here.

I don't think it's OK how she treats you.

- It's always the same with her.
- I keep telling you:

This is a toxic relationship,
she's calling it on and off.

This really messes you up.

She did want me as a manager.

But then she didn't even
really look at the dossier.

She's just playing with you, Juni.

No, come on!

Oh, f*ck!

Smetterling, f*ck!
You should've warned me.

Sorry! Look after yourself.
I'm not your mother.

Juni, it's me!

I know, Claudio's a fool.

But it would be really stupid
not to try it with him.

F0r 40,000? Give me 2 months
and I'll bring you the contacts.

That's not everything.

A manager must be a b*stard,
and you just aren't one, Juni.

I am a b*stard.

Man, Claudio wants to invest in me.
If we bring him 20,

he'll chuck in the other 20.

I thought we might tap some of your internet flirts.

For example the one from Bern.

Because Fricker's firm went bankrupt,
Juni lost his job too.

To compensate for his high fixed costs,

he had to earn something extra
with online dating.

Forget it, I haven't written back to her
for 2 weeks.

She knows we're playing her for a sucker.

Tell her you phone was blocked
and that your brother's not well.

I have no brother.

Come on.

In the kitchen our colleagues found
not only alcohol bottles

but also antidepressants.

At present, our investigation points to suicide.

On the phone he was already
all confused and panicky.

It's not unusual

that a suicidal person calls confidants.

Ms Guisolan. We've searched everything
but we didn't find any documents.

The register "Biffiger" is empty.

Are you sure?

He called us. We had to come and get
some document.

Well, we've just been in his office.

But we can look again together.

Thanks, Jean-Claude.

OK, we'll contact you
as soon as we find the document.

Will you walk them to their car?

To the car.

It's OK, I know where my car is.

Mr Lötscher.

Dominique Schnydrig,
senior public prosecutor.

We used to have to go to him

if a radar party got out of hand,

if your partner took drugs at work

or if you f*cked up in some other way.

But more on this later maybe.

Look at the little one.

He's got a firm grip!

You dad could take a leaf out of your book.

Pirmin, you know our door's always open
for your, right?

- Thanks, Dominique.
- So remember me.

The elections are in a month.

Hey, Jean-Claude.

What a mess!

Darling, can we go home?

- He went golfing.
- What?

The notary was wearing his golf outfit.
And then he just hangs himself?

It doesn't make sense.

They'll clear it up.
Don't worry, little tiger.

I'll be back in a moment.

Damn!

Damn!

- Dammit.
- Hey!

What are you doing here?

Damn.

Found it!

I keep losing it.

What the f*ck… What's this?

You're coming with us, kid.

f*ck off! Leave me in peace.

Want to spend your summer break
wiping butts in the rest home?

The juvenile court judge
won't like these photos.

- What do you want?
- You'll see.

May I come in?

Only the police have access down here.

A Flat White from Tizianos?

It's illogical that he asked us

to come and see him
because of a vanished document.

- What did the blood work show?
- You know how it works.

He'd have to go to the lab in Lausanne.

But as long as the cops don't ask
for an examination,

nothing will happen here.

But it really is a bit strange.

- What do you mean?
- When you hang yourself

you die from a broken neck.

But his fingernails are blue

which could point to cyanosis.

A lack of oxygen in the tissue,

due to anaesthesia,
due to aconitine.

What?

Also known as monkshood.

With 2 grammes of it

the central nervous system stops working.

I'm sure it grows in his garden too.

Maybe check what your neighbours

are planting next to the cauliflower.

So, not suicide?

Dr Schmidhalter, the X-ray.

Thanks, Jacqueline.

What's this?

Incredible what people put in their rectums
these days…

So, let's see.

It was so silly, I stood there
like a total idiot

and didn't know what to say.
I'll text her now that I

- want to have coffee with her.
- No!

Ms van Storchen said
that you're not yet ready for that.

Yes, but she's a young, intelligent woman.

She won't stay single for long.

But look at you,
a young handsome man.

She'll wait for you, 100 percent.

She's calling me!

Answer it!

- Let her dangle!
- Dangle?

Call her back when you're ready.

No, that's childish.
I'll take the call.

That's the worst you can do.

I keep waiting for Romeo to text me back.

So you want him all the more, right?

- Damn, she's hung up.
- Schmidi…

She wants you!
And if you keep your cool now

and give yourself time,
she'll want you all the more.

That's what you call "letting someone dangle".
Like in fishing!

No, my granddad was a fisher.

He didn't let the fish dangle
because else they just suffer.

OK, so it's different with women.

I wonder why you're suddenly acting

as if you understood women so well.

Where did you get this theory?

It mattered to me at that moment

to listen to the advice of
my loved ones.

I thought they wanted the best for me.

But I didn't yet know

that Stöffu got his theories
from weird guys

on TikTok.

Not good…

- Come on.
- The tubes, can you…

- Open your mouth.
- Can you… Yes, exactly.

A bit sadder.

DEAR ANNETTE,
IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU TODAY!

HOW ABOUT TOMORROW…

Thinking of that night

I did realise
that something was wrong.

I wish I had listened to my gut feeling!

But well…

My granddad always said:

"Would have and would be are brothers

and got buried a long time ago."

If you want to know

how to leave toxic relationships,

If I was ready
to rediscover my body,

how Pirmin couldn't sit still

and what those 2 wanted from him,

how his blind date ended,

why he wet his pants,

how it smells
when he wets his pants

and what stings more
than all of this,

then join us for the next episode
of COPS.