What We Wanted to Be (2024)

[bunniefuu]

It was the fall of 1998.

In a downtown cinema,

they were showing on Thursdays

that Hollywood cycle of classics.

And, of course, I wouldn't miss

a single one of those old films.

A light?

Oh, if you're so kind.

Thanks.

How I needed this!

Nothing beats

this damn vice.

I mean watching

a movie like this.

Did you like it?

A master,

this Howard Hawks...

First time?

That I've seen it?

I caught some

part when I was a kid

on TV, but I didn't get it...

because they talk too fast.

And you?

I know it by heart.

Still, I always discover something new.

Sorry.

Thanks.

I would have liked

to see it for the first time.

For you,

it wouldn't have been the same

knowing the surprise

ending, right?

Well... no...

Actually, no.

The surprise ending was in the one

they showed last week.

Which one did they show?

That one over there.

Ah, "Witness for the Prosecution."

What a great film. I missed it.

I never suspected for a moment

that she was the same woman.

Dietrich tricks you.

A total genius.

Even her voice changed.

Different accents.

Did you notice?

Even though she's German

and English isn't her first language.

German like the director.

They were close friends

with Billy Wilder.

It shows they had a blast filming.

Well, it was a pleasure to discuss it

with someone while it's still fresh.

We turned onto Corrientes

Avenue, discussing what we'd seen

together but separately.

We crossed 9 de Julio, recalling stories

in black and white, except ours.

WHAT WE WANTED TO BE

-Good evening, how are you?

Very well, thank you.

Dinner or just drinks?

Just a drink.

What are you thinking?

Nice place, huh? Classy.

Must be expensive.

Leave it, my treat.

-It's not necessary.

-No, I'm serious.

I went out without money,

but I can handle a couple of drinks.

Stop checking and order

whatever you want.

What were we talking about?

I was telling you that

the other day I read that...

some actors don't have

a personality in real life.

Really? You don't say.

They say they spend their time being others

until they forget about themselves.

Really? Is that so?

Look, without going

further, Dietrich, for example,

in "Witness"

how she transforms, right?

What's more, into two women at once.

They say in real life,

that crazy one had quite a personality.

And why crazy?

She slept with every

actor she worked with.

There you have. Every role

turned her into another woman.

We're all a bit like that.

What do you mean?

Actors.

They need to

please their audience, right?

We cater to ours.

To family...

Friends... Any other type of relationship.

Ah.

I don't understand.

That we choose to

be what they ask of us...

out of fear of being alone.

What did you want to be

when you were a kid?

-Me?

-Yeah.

-As a kid?

-Remember?

I don't know

I wanted to be so many things...

Something must have

won over everything, right?

Astronaut.

And what happened?

What do you mean

what happened?

Your parents didn't let you?

Are you kidding me?

Are you blaming being

born here, in this country?

Well of course,

it had an impact.

Look at how many

years have passed.

We don't have a single

Argentine astronaut.

What do you mean, none?

Seriously. I'm a space fan.

There isn't any.

And you, then?

Me what?

No, forget it.

I must be confused.

I thought I saw you

in the newspapers.

-Good evening.

-Good evening.

What will you have?

For me, a tea and

a toasted sandwich, please.

Sir?

They're talking to you.

Yes, bring me a whiskey.

-Which one do you prefer?

-A vernacular one.

An Old Smuggler.

White label?

Do you sell it?

-With or without ice?

-With.

Can I change the tea

for the same?

-Is the sandwich still on?

-Yes.

Where did you study to

become an astronaut?

I studied by mail.

Interesting, by mail.

I found the ad in a magazine.

-"Isidoro"?

-No, "Lupin."

Sure, they had those

kind of ads in those magazines.

"Study Astronautics,

the profession of the future."

"48 lessons."

My family never found out.

Afraid they'd forbid you.

Deep down, I was afraid

the course was a scam...

Sure. Space travel

was in its infancy, right?

And I was so young that I had a hard

time completing the exams.

Did you return them by mail?

Every week. With the return address

of a schoolmate.

-What grade?

-Fourth, afternoon shift.

-Did you graduate?

-Yes.

With the best grades.

But then...

the institute closed because

NASA raised objections.

Oh, really?

The last envelopes were

all arriving opened.

I suspect they thought there was

some Russian involvement and...

they were afraid that

once graduated, we could be

recruited as cosmonauts.

Well. Now you say it...

But let me tell you something.

Not even if they had offered me a trip

to Mars, I'd have moved to Russia.

You weren't a fan of communism.

Besides, there was the language issue. I

had just started learning English

with The Beatles' songs.

Imagine me trying to talk

that language. It was...

Thank you.

Here's to...

...our dreams.

Before we continue

telling each other stories,

we should agree on some rules.

-Do you think? -I like

rules. -Are you sure?

Yes, I had to follow so many

to avoid crashing with the capsule.

Then you tell me

which planets you visited.

No, not planets.

I mostly orbited...

Let me tell you what

I've been thinking.

I'm listening.

You don't have to play

along if you don't agree.

Play or Stop?

Sure, go ahead.

Tell me, and let's see.

Do you realize that...

...we haven't even said our names?

Oh! Bad!

What's your name?

Shut up.

-What did I say now?

-I almost believed you're an astronaut.

I mean, don't tell me

your real name.

In any case, make up one

that will convince me.

American or Russian? Can

it be Neil or Yuri?

Yuri! Yuri...

Commander Yuri.

Well, then I'm going to be called...

...Irene.

I love it.

My second-grade teacher...

-Don't tell me!

-What did I say now?

We are two complete strangers, Yuri.

Do you see that between us

we could be...

what we always wanted

without anyone holding us back?

Take it, if you want, I'm not

going to eat it all.

Tell me more.

But to stop being what was always

expected from us, first...

Bye to the past. Bye to...

...details.

No teacher's name,

nor parents', nor if we have...

children, if we're married,

what neighborhood we're from.

I think I get it.

And? What do you think?

I'm in.

I hope I don't mess it up.

Sure?

Let's try.

So, we agree on not

being the everyday us?

Why not?

At first, I kind of regretted

pretending to be an astronaut.

I should have chosen

something less fantastic

from all the things I

dreamed of as a kid.

For example, a forest ranger.

Or one of those divers

with Captain Cousteau.

But well, that was the first

thing that came to mind.

And off to fly.

Oh, you scared me.

Why are you up so early?

I didn't go to college. I stayed

reviewing for tomorrow's exam.

How's that going?

It's all figured out.

The curtain guy came!

As soon as you left. The janitor

let him in. Caught me naked.

Oh, I forgot they were

installing them today.

Do you like them, Seba?

Yes or no?

It's your thing.

Why do you say that?

For me, let it all be seen.

Or maybe nothing at all.

I don't understand

why you keep at it.

How are you, Mom?

I felt great all day.

See, going out at night

did you good.

You were right.

Where did you go?

I went to a cinema.

-Alone?

What did you see?

One of those oldies I like.

Long?

Why?

You came back late.

Are you checking up on me? Huh?

I worried...

Then I went to a bar.

I didn't realize how late it was.

Otherwise, you'd be going for a

William Gibson or writers like that.

I believe, honestly, that an

Algis Budrys would suit you perfectly.

If not, take something

by Robert Silverberg.

The one where Dr. Hawksbill

builds a time machine.

Nothing to do with Wells'.

Isn't that too much

for his age, Beto?

Please, Mabel...

Today's kids know

more about this than we do.

Am I lying, kiddo?

Well, maybe I got

a little carried away.

Still, it's always good

to buy them things for older ages.

Just like with clothes.

Suddenly, you dress them on Monday

to go to school and nothing fits.

That? Is it the Titanic?

This one here would

be its little brother.

Did all that fit inside?

Come here, get closer,

and I'll show you.

Look.

Down here are the cabins,

the kitchen, the engine room.

Is this a movie theater?

Of course.

They showed all in black and white.

Yes.

All in black and white.

And you, Irene?

What do you do?

Writer.

Novels?

Didn't you recognize me?

-Irene, what's your name?

-Irene Singer.

No, I can't believe it.

Really? The best-seller of the moment!

No, of course, of course.

Pleasure to meet you, Commander.

I'm blown away!

And have you read

anything by me?

Have I read?

Here's a huge fan!

And which of my novels, for example?

-"Another Woman".

-That one.

That novel is a masterpiece.

Really? Did you like it that much?

It pierced me.

It left me feeling dirty when I read it.

Feeling dirty?

And I also really liked your latest one,

I can't remember the name.

The one with the blind housewife?

Poor woman...

What suffering, right?

The husband cheats on her

and she doesn't see anything.

Terrible. Honestly, terrible,

yes. It's tough, huh?

To me... Yes, yes.

I read it in one go,

on a trial trip.

That's dangerous, man.

No, why?

No, because it goes on autopilot.

Oh, thank goodness.

For your work.

For our outer space.

What a coincidence, huh?

...where we ended up meeting.

I don't know if it's

such a coincidence.

We chose the same movie,

black and white,

in an empty theater.

I kept thinking

about what you said the other day.

About which nonsense?

Let me see.

No, no, no. No nonsense.

About how, at some point,

we do nothing but act for others.

Even though we never

touched each other, or even

used our real names, surely

at some point, they must have

thought of us as a couple in there.

The Brighton became the perfect set

to become what we always wanted.

Handsome.

We exchanged news

from made-up worlds.

We didn't even mention

if we had a partner.

And so with everything outside

the perimeter of those tables.

Autumn, winter, yes.

Around half past eight.

A bit earlier?

-No, it's difficult because I close

the shop at eight and... -No, Yuri!

-What's wrong?

-Don't tell me.

Oh, what an idiot...

Winter, then...

No, it's fine.

I can handle it 'cause I'll talk

to the guys in the space lab.

-Sure?

-Yes. I have to look into it.

Well, I'll let you know too

if I have to present

some book or make

a quick getaway to Paris,

for writing seminars.

Perfect.

No, no, no...

Don't you feel sorry?

What should make me feel sorry?

Bouncing back unread novels.

Not at all!

Thanks to that, we eat.

Happiness?

Does it bring me happiness?

Look. Sometimes, when I notice

they want to act smart,

like this guy, for example...

-What?

-Nothing.

He has nothing to say,

and he puffs himself up imitating style.

He wants to be a Joyce.

He thinks he can turn any

lousy sunset into a whole life.

And he fails miserably.

I don't know, read it yourself,

see if you agree.

Well, poor thing.

Maybe...

he's just starting.

He'll see sooner or later

that he has no talent.

Can you explain this sudden

outburst of compassion for humanity?

Leave it, I understand myself.

Anyway, I don't mind

that you think that way.

It took you time to understand

that you weren't born to be a writer.

Me? I never said that!

Yes, you did.

No, maybe I let it slip, kid.

You want or do you dont want to tell

others what you come up with.

Or what happens to you.

Well, you get what I mean, right?

In any case, I passed you

more than one gene.

-Me. -And why do you

study literature, then?

Here, read.

From the beginning.

I met someone.

A guy?

A gentleman.

Where?

No, it doesn't matter.

Of your age?

Yes, old like me.

What does he do?

He's an as... astrophysicist.

Oh, really?

What's wrong?

Can he handle the telescope?

No, that's it, enough. I'm not

telling you anything else. Done.

Don't get mad, mom.

Come on, I'm kidding.

-What?

-Tell me, I want to know.

-Sure you want to know?

-Yes, I'm sure.

I suspected something anyway.

What? What did you suspect?

Come on, Sherlock Holmes,

change your face,

I'm not telling you

anything else. Enough!

What do you want?

You never went out

and suddenly, on Thursdays,

you come back at any hour.

Yesterday we met

for the third time.

Oh... Well...

-In American terms, you're a couple.

-Oh, see! Okay. Enough.

-Come on, come on.

-No, it's over.

-It was a joke.

-It's over.

Give me the remote.

Come on, come on.

I swear I'll be quiet.

-Enough.

-I don't even ask if you fell in love.

Over.

Go to your room.

Go to your room.

Read...

Take it and read.

Just a little joke.

Enough.

Astrophysicist.

Enough, I told you.

Mind you, from time to time

she also put her foot in it.

Like when I cut myself and appeared

one of our Thursdays with a bandaged hand.

What happened to your hand?

You can't ask me that.

Sorry. I didn't realize.

How are you?

I got distracted cause the new

novel is driving me crazy.

It's over.

-Let's change the subject.

-Yes, better.

A white label for the gentleman.

-Can I order one for you? One for her.

I accept it, sir.

-What are you doing?

-Just in case.

Don't go around guessing

the rouge's brand.

I can see you scouring the

perfumeries to find out where I live.

It's not that serious.

You felt bad about the hand.

Which hand?

We're crazy, Yuri.

No. It's reality. Every time

it gets involved, we fight.

Isn't it too late

to be ourselves?

No. We have to let it go by.

Something of ours

will always come up.

Can I put it up?

Are you hiding the hand?

Come on.

Now, how stupid.

I could have just said

"I cut myself" and that's it.

Without making such a fuss.

Moreover, I cut myself with glass.

Did they give you a tetanus shot?

What are you asking me!

I always keep it up to date

the tetanus shot.

- Hazards of the trade, right?

- Yes, well.

With so much machinery

around you can get hurt, right?

Right.

My a*s is full of craters.

Poor thing.

- It looks like the moon.

- I can imagine.

- Do you want me to show you?

- No. Enough, Commander!

Another time, please!

Speaking of having a good time,

there's something I've wanted

to ask you for a while.

I'm listening.

The two of us...

are...

forbidden to fall in love, right?

I don't know, Yuri...

What do you say?

I'm asking

because you invented the game.

Why should we think

about that so soon?

Soon? It's been

like three months...

Well, you say it like

it's such a long time.

Well, okay.

No, it's fine, it's fine.

You're right.

Forget it.

No, I don't know if I'm right,

but put yourself in my place.

I do, I do, I do.

I don't think I can bear it.

What? Falling in love?

I mean waiting for you down here,

while you're spinning up there.

-I'm retired anyway.

-Don't sell me that crap.

No, I'm serious.

Can I tell you my age?

-Or is that also forbidden?

-You can. I would never.

On the 15th of this month, I turn 53.

On the 15th?

Yes.

Look at that.

-You looked younger.

-I'm no longer fit for galactic trotting.

Still, I'm in the business.

And what are you doing?

Training pilots?

Developing new space meals.

It must be quite complex, right?

Yes.

It's not easy to put a

roast with potatoes inside

a little bag

to eat it with a straw.

Did you manage?

I'm working on it.

But going back to what

we were talking about, I also

wouldn't bear seeing you

locked up all day

in a room feeding a typewriter.

I don't type.

Well, whatever. I have

a friend in your field,

and he said you need

isolation, lots of silence.

See?

Do you realize why it's not

worth it falling in love?

Luckily you realized,

our thing would have been a disaster.

Now, Irene, if we are...

forbidden to fall in love,

at least we have permission

to talk about it.

Yes, of course. Yes.

For example,

about sex.

For example.

I mean, our adventures,

some experiences, right?

-As long as we respect...

-The terms of our contract.

Pact.

Okay, pact.

Our pact.

Have you ever fallen in love?

I mean, loved someone.

Or did it never happen for you?

Desperately, you mean?

Never.

What a pity.

And you?

I had some stories,

adventures...

until I got married and

quickly got divorced.

Does it distress you?

It distresses me not

having been lucky.

You're not the only one,

I'm divorced.

What was he like?

A very peculiar man.

I imagine, he must have

been really intelligent.

Deaf-mute.

Ah.

Look at that.

Mute.

Must have been complicated.

No! On the contrary, we had a blast.

And why did you break up?

He found a good speech therapist.

Taught him to speak.

He told her he loved her

and left with her.

What a piece of scoundrel!

No, no.

Good guy...

Things happen.

And what did your wife do?

Trapeze artist.

Oh!

At a circus?

Freelance acrobat.

She did a bit of everything.

A relationship, let's say, very...

Flexible?

Um... Excuse me.

-Do you have "Seaweed"?

-Which one?

"Seaweed on the buttocks."

That one where

the planet gets flooded,

we turn into mollusks,

except for the Japanese.

No, it doesn't ring a bell.

Green cover. Dystopian one.

Wasn't very well understood at the time.

No idea.

About an Argentine dry cleaner

named Pocho Tanaka.

Tanaka...

Tanaka, yes.

Hiroshima survivor.

His genes mutated,

he got a nervous tic.

Did you search at the front?

You really don't have it?

Almost certain.

It was a finalist for the

Zozobra publishing award.

-Do you know who wrote it?

-Yes, of course.

-Who?

-Me.

Get out!

Check, at least.

Get out of here. Go away!

Are you into science fiction?

I liked it as a girl for a while,

then I got over it.

Do you read it?

It's not for me.

I find all the mistakes.

Right. They can't fool you

after so many flight hours.

Not to Daddy...

They come up with such nonsense.

Besides, if I'm going to read

a book, it's precisely to

forget the problems at work.

And of course... It's like asking,

I don't know, a plumber...

to only read about toilets,

faucets, washers...

Maybe that's why I get

hooked on your novels.

It seems so strange that

you like what I write.

Why don't you believe me?

Because I write about women.

They're the ones who read me.

And what are you up to now?

People alone in bars.

-Is that the title?

-Yes.

Nice.

I don't know if nice,

but the nights are

increasingly filled with

those who have no one.

How do you know she

has no one?

Believe me.

Do you know her?

I know us, Yuri.

Look at how she dives

into those pages.

The curve of her back, the...

the desire to transport herself, to...

become, for a while,

that other one that doesn't exist.

And there were many

of her characters.

So many more than what

I had wanted to discover.

The night filled with

its emptiness.

Without realizing it, I had also

become one before meeting her.

Only after a dozen Thursdays,

I would dare to make up

...a slightly more interesting

childhood for her.

I was born in Africa.

And that I am alive is a miracle.

I should be dead

many years ago.

What happened to you?

At six, I had

a nasty accident.

With my parents, we used to go

on safari every Sunday.

In Nairobi, it's

like going to a soccer match.

I can imagine.

The jeep overturned.

Rhinoceros.

It hit us head-on.

Tremendous beast.

I don't remember a thing.

They told me later because I

ended up in the hospital for two years.

-In a coma?

-They thought my brain was dead.

What you are telling me

is terrible.

My parents died on the spot.

You can tell me everything.

I can help you to make a catharsis.

I was saved by an Argentine nurse.

Juanita.

She worked in

hospitals in poor countries.

-What do they call it?

-Volunteer?

Right, like firefighters.

I had everything erased

from my mind.

It was a blessing

that it was her because

she taught me word

by word in Spanish.

Lovely lady.

She knew that Nairobian

wouldn't work for me because

after the trauma

I had with the wildlife,

I didn't have much of

a future in Africa.

All those creatures around

weren't going to help.

She adopted me,

we came here, and...

-You stayed alone with Juanita?

-I adored her.

She told me that many times

the doctors came to unplug my tubes.

And she would stand firm

and sweet-talk them

tell them that I had moved

an arm or blinked an eye.

And that would convince them

not to cut off the electricity.

Thank God

she persevered.

Soon after, she had this syncope.

She was 50 but

looked much older.

Due to the malaria she had

contracted in Africa from mosquitoes

and what we had to endure

here because of the economy.

Quite a feat to become an astronaut

in a country like this.

Yes.

Also I had the issue

of seizures.

-Sequels of the accident?

-No, no.

The rhinoceros had nothing

to do.

Attacks that I had since

I was bitten as a baby by a tsetse fly.

Mind you,

I never deceived her.

In any case, the only thing

I did was lie to Irene.

If I came up with those

adventures, it was because as a kid

I was always fascinated

by everything related to Africa.

In fact, my dream is

to dare to go on a safari someday.

At one point, I even saved

up to treat myself.

I almost traveled to

the Black Continent, but no.

At the last minute, I chickened out

due to this little problem I have.

I'm talking about

my fear of flying.

Do you want to tell me what

the novel you are writing is about?

I came up with it

while talking to Yuri.

Did he inspire you?

In any case, it was

what brought us together.

Have to do

with his thing?

Nothing to do

with the cosmos.

Though everyone

has their own, right?

I could write a whole shelf

about you and me.

Another one about how

I met your dad and

how he made me feel

the most beautiful woman in the world.

A book like this thick.

With his gestures.

The fights.

The laughter.

The desire to see you grow.

Until the accident...

I want to meet Yuri.

I couldn't tell him

what I'm going through.

Why?

Because everything's

more than fine between us.

And I don't want

to worry him.

They met one autumn night

at that fancy bar.

He approached her table

to ask her

what she was reading.

And the lonely woman barely

peeked, tilting the cover of her book.

"Too handsome,"

she said to herself.

A miracle to notice him so

interested in what little I think of me.

The lonely woman had struggled

so much to recover her body.

After a few years, she began

to feel that damn

disease was returning

to her insides.

Are you okay?

I'll be right back.

Anything else, Commander?

What's with all this

back-and-forth writing?

We use napkins

for emergencies.

Sure.

I think I understand.

Fermn.

What's up?

What do you understand?

I wanted to play

for Boca Juniors.

To avoid betraying the pact,

I had to swallow the pain

of seeing her emaciated.

And of course, crossed my mind

to confront the issue once and for all.

Or at least ask her

what was going on

through another of

our lifesaver napkins.

But no.

Of course, I couldn't do that to her,

especially when she needed to

believe in being

that other woman

for a couple of hours

every week more than ever.

A few Thursdays later,

she showed up with a

wool hat that couldn't

quite hide her shaved head.

I had no choice but

to head to the bathroom to hide

the anguish of not knowing

how to bring up the issue.

The paralysis.

The terror of losing her.

Are you okay?

-Yes, I feel fine.

-Did something upset your stomach?

-No, why do you ask?

-Because you rushed out.

Oh, no, nothing like that.

I just needed to pee.

Can you continue?

Yes, sure. I was telling you that,

more than once,

when I was in orbit,

I would start to think that...

our planet...

must have always looked

the same from above.

Unless it was nighttime, I suppose.

Of course, what a moron.

Because city lights didn't exist.

Must be quite a sight,

right?

Amazing.

You get used to it, though.

Like everything.

After so many missions,

it must have become routine.

Still, when Earth

faces the sun,

it's nothing more than a ball...

blue, covered in clouds...

with some patches of grass, deserts.

It becomes something eternal.

To put it in some way.

Exactly what...

cavemen would have seen

if they had had rockets, right?

To me...

What?

I feel something similar to

what you're saying, but with the sea.

With the sea.

Are you okay?

What was I saying?

-You were talking

about the sea. -The sea...

That it also must

still be the same...

Virginia Woolf might have seen,

I suppose.

Forget it, only I understand myself.

It inspires me...

...to believe from the shore in that

kind of eternity you're talking about.

That's the one that doesn't care

when we were born...

What...

what we are capable of sharing

beyond damn time.

You haven't been there for a while?

-To the sea?

-Yeah.

Three, four years?

Do you want us

to go together?

-On vacation?

-Yeah, now...

They're coming soon.

-Both of us?

-Yeah.

-You and me?

-Yeah.

We can't, Buzz.

Well.

Doesn't matter.

Maybe I'll take the chance, and...

get to know the south.

Where would you like to go?

Patagonia.

Maybe I'll take a little

trip to Bariloche.

Hi.

I'll take these six, man.

I took them from the bargain table.

All of the same price.

What do you want?

Uh...

To pay for them.

Are you going to read all of this?

Little by little.

Alright. Take them.

Go ahead. Have a safe trip.

Are you giving me them?

Yes, yes. There you go.

From then on, the cosmos

became the metaphor

for her illness

many Thursdays.

We can see many other worlds.

So many, and

as impressive as ours.

Although from here they only seem

like insignificant specks of dust.

They had just invented the telescope.

But we still know so little

about the universe where we were born.

Not even why we exist.

Not even what will happen

to us when...

No one ceases to exist so easily.

What do you know?

Believe me.

Spinning up there,

I understood...

that we are nothing but stars.

Are you okay?

So stars...

Not only Dietrich is a star.

Exactly.

What happened

to the wool hat?

It made my head itch.

Looked good on you.

What can you do?

I'll give it to you.

-For me? Seriously?

-Yeah.

Try it on.

-Here?

-Go ahead.

I'll check later.

But I promise I'll wear it.

You better...

What are you up to?

Heading to the sea?

I'm going south.

Well, maybe

you'll wear it sooner then.

I leave tomorrow.

-Really? Where?

-New York.

Seriously? That's great.

Two weeks.

Alone?

Yuri... Yuri... Yu...

Buzz. My name is Buzz.

Behave, Buzz.

I'm going with my cat.

I have no one to leave him with.

Shall I take care of him?

No. He also needs

change of scenery.

Thanks.

"What do I fear?",

the lonely woman wondered.

"What? What? What?"

And she answered that it went

beyond the pain of ceasing to exist.

Not seeing her son anymore and

him suffering without her.

That since meeting

her fearless astronaut,

another fear had been added

to her list.

And it was the one of not being able

to help each other achieve

what they had always

dreamed of separately.

Oops, sorry.

It's nothing.

I don't know.

Something...

What a big bug!

They say it's safer than a car.

It never falls.

It has to be a...

Do you know about flying?

Just in case, I chose a means of

transportation safer to me.

At least I got to know

some parts of Patagonia.

And in Bariloche...

...I even dared to take my

first steps in the space race.

But beyond the courageous act

that filled me with pride...

...admiring in silence all

that expl*si*n of nature...

...I started to miss

Irene more than ever.

As a lonely tourist,

all that beauty

around me didn't help.

Everything I had predicted.

I felt a kind of

nostalgia for myself.

For the one who, facing

his favorite writer,

each quote represented

what he slowly believed he was.

What are you doing there?

That's strange...

Slow it down

with the whiskey.

Easy, she should be coming soon.

I don't get it, honestly,

I don't get it.

Have a coffee. I'll get you

another one of yours later.

What's up, kid?

Long time...

Everything fine. And you?

What are you looking for?

I brought you some books.

Uh-huh.

Didn't I sell you this one?

Uh-huh.

Kid! Kid! Hey!

Hey! The books!

"Don't worry. Your friend is OK

and she misses you.

She just needs a few more

Thursdays to get strong again."

At that moment, I didn't even

wonder who the messenger was

that was surprising me

with happiness.

It was enough for me to know

that Irene was recovering...

and that she missed me too.

That I was still

the naturalized African astronaut

who made her laugh in our

extraterrestrial world.

It cannot be...

Did you like Manhattan?

When I was packing,

they called me at the hotel.

So from from New York,

you had to sail to Paris.

What could I do, Buzz?

No, that's great.

I'd like to know.

You've never

been to Paris?

Well, I flew over it

100 times, but very high.

It must not be the same in orbit...

You miss a lot of details.

You can't even see

the Eiffel Tower.

And it's tall, huh?

I was born there.

I know that city better

than Buenos Aires.

I can't believe it,

I didn't know.

Didn't I ever tell you

that I'm French?

No, you're full of surprises.

Did you have your hair cut there?

Yes, it became fashionable, this short.

It suits you perfectly.

-Thanks.

-Keep it like that.

I don't know, I'll see.

Here, they look at me a bit weird.

Don't mind them.

In no time, everyone

will copy you.

No doubt about that.

How many here would

like to be French like you?

When I tell arround that I studied at the

Sorbonne, do you know how they get?

-They turn green with envy!

-I can imagine.

As if one had chosen it, right?

And where would I study?

It was around the corner.

-What did you study.

-Literature.

Of course!

I'm so dumb.

Have you decided

on your dinner?

First, I'd like a

Cointreau on the rocks, please.

Are you sure?

For me the same without ice.

So you kept coming every Thursday.

Staying in the fight.

I should have let you know.

From there?

How were you going to do that?

I could have asked for the bar's

phone and tried to get you.

Maybe you didn't

want to worry me.

With what?

I mean...

The thing is that

I landed this morning.

That I came by just in case,

you appeared,

and here we are another Thursday.

You knew I wouldn't

let you down.

Did you see family there?

I just have some cousins.

No one I really want to see.

I came back 'cause

I was invited to give that talk.

About what?

Structuralism.

Ah. I dont understand nothing about it.

There's not much to understand.

It's what, in some way,

we all think,

but written with more important,

complex phrases.

That's why the subject

hooks me.

Mostly it's poetry.

I don't get you.

I like playing with words,

turning them around,

inventing theories like that.

Still, sometimes I think that

silence explains what's important better.

Maybe that's why I chose space.

Because up there,

everything is silence.

In the vacuum,

sound doesn't travel.

We'd have nothing else

but to be mute.

We should manage...

in a different way without

going around in circles.

Now that you mentioned it...

I confirmed it

during spacewalks.

Ah.

Did you walk in nothingness?

Did they let you out of the capsule?

What's up, Buzz?

Only we let ourselves

out of the capsule.

Did they let you out or not?

Yes, of course, babe.

It's not a big deal.

I went out, took a couple of turns

and came back

before the bug bit me.

Another tsetse fly?

No... I mean that if

you get used to being

floating in nothingness,

you can become addicted.

To nothing?

To solitude.

It's been ages

since I had one of these!

Too sweet for you.

Nothing's too sweet for me.

Oh, sorry.

Did the romantic come back?

I am romantic.

I'm teasing you,

don't get mad.

And of course, I also

like playing with words.

You see, I knew it!

I'm talking about crosswords.

At one point, I was a fan.

I had a hard time

with the names of battles.

And also cities

that no longer exist.

It was complicated for me

with painters

of whom I had seen something, but

the name didn't come to mind.

Also had

a hard time with last names.

Who was the one that invented the

scientific name for the firefly?

Van Puffelen.

It's written with two Fs.

Ah, you kept quite a bit!

I learned because I was

embarrassed to ask what I didn't know.

Then I got used to it, and it was a

great company on space missions.

More than a pastime, right?

To think that using only

deduction, a pen,

one ends up learning

without anyone telling you anything, right?

How's the new novel going?

With so much travel, the truth

is that I made little progress.

I put together some

sentences, took notes...

I kept thinking about the title.

Do you still like it?

Many characters?

I focused on a

somewhat sad woman.

How do you imagine her?

She has something of mine...

What?

Details.

But not so beautiful.

That's for sure.

Besides, you're not a sad woman.

You're a strong.

Writer, Sorbonne, Paris, travels...

Oh, no, I can't believe it...

No. She can't do this to me.

Who can't do what to whom?

That old hippie?

Don't you like

that someone cares for her?

Oh, please, see if that eye sore

is going to love her!

I said "care for," "care for."

Fermn?

Tell me, ma'am.

Who's that long-haired

guy over there?

Apparently, he hosts

children's parties.

He says he sings in a band.

-When I was young, I also played

the drums in a... -Shut up, moron!

You?! Playing the drums?!

You're making up

any nonsense now.

Enough.

The fact that he was kinda hippie

made him look to your mom as

a sentimental delinquent.

Because that woman

had been her character.

The loner who unintentionally...

-Uhmm...

-Who unintentionally what?

Had helped her recover.

Did they know each other?

Nothing like that.

Mom needed her to

finish the novel.

Unknowingly, that other woman gave her

strength to move forward.

Seeing her with that weirdo

stopped her for a while.

Until she figured it out,

changed to first person, owned it...

-She didn't have to hide in her anymore.

-Did she let you read her stuff?

Since she was admitted, at the

hospital, she started writing non-stop.

And then, when she got better...

She continued at home.

Here's to our outer space.

And Thursday after Thursday,

following that year 2000,

the economy of 2001 came upon us.

Then became

quite difficult for all of us

to avoid the reality of

a country in ruins.

-What will you have?

-Bring us an Old Smuggler. We'll share it.

Get a half and half with a bonus!

What can you do?

This country never learns.

Don't you want to change

to a cheaper place?

-Do you think so?

-I think so, Buzz.

You charge him whatever you want,

Cosme. I'll leave up to six here.

Put them on the menu for me.

But I have some of the

other whiskies.

Buzz is a fan of this one.

What do you say he's called?

Buzz.

Gringo?

He was born in Africa.

Just play along.

Don't let it slip that you

met me as a kid, okay?

Yes, "don't let it slip,". Since you moved

two blocks from here,

you haven't come to say hello.

Excuse me, but I was swamped with work.

Is he black?

-Black?

-The guy is black?

No, no, he's not black.

He happened to be born there.

Are you guys dating or something?

-What's up, fool? Say sorry!

-It's OK.

Two fugazzettas,

and one humita for Sousa's table.

If you need a great waiter,

I have the candidate

for you, Cosme.

Bring me someone worthwhile.

What are you doing, idiot?

You can't even make coffee...

This pizza is a luxury.

Michelin star.

Oui, oui, mon chri.

C'est magnifique.

Oh, la la, la mozzarella.

You handle French well.

You should give me lessons,

since you graduated from the Sorbonne.

I didn't graduate.

-Really?

-I gave up on the diploma.

Why?

It had to do with the

political context of the time.

Ah.

-Do you understand?

-No.

I'm talking about May 68.

Of course. Sartre didn't

accept the Nobel Prize.

You couldn't settle

for a bourgeois title.

Exactly.

Did you go to the protests?

Front row.

So great!

Hand in hand with Simone.

The Beauvoir?

Eat slowly,

it'll make you sick.

Look.

Goosebumps, thinking that

you were there marching,

and me here suspecting

the Russians.

Did communism

never appeal to you?

Answer me.

No, all good with the Soviets.

Especially at the beginning.

But I won't deny

that I was a bit tempted

to play the revolutionary

to pick up girls.

Oh, I can't believe you.

What did I say now?

If you'll be like that,

let's stop talking.

But wait. You can't

deny that communism failed.

-So communism failed?

-Yes.

Is that why you're Buzz and

you won't be called Yuri?

No, no, no.

Now you're mixing politics

with interstellar

interplanetary exodus.

I'm talking about communism

and non-communism.

That you wanted to pick up girls

with communism or not.

I'm talking about what

I intend, which is to leave this planet.

And if you want to come with me,

we'll run away together.

All you think about is getting laid.

Me?

Two.

You just go with the flow.

Gunslinger.

Good pizza, huh?

Without understanding it,

the economic situation brought us down

from the galactic

to the political.

All of a sudden, I thought about

accusing Fidel of imprisoning h*m*.

And your mom would fight it.

But the next Thursday,

we'd change seats, and

she criticized the Russian revolution

while I defended the feats of communism.

...you're one of those

who prefer to forget

what that son of a b*tch

Stalin did.

Do you know who you are?

Those who don't get that if it weren't

for him, Hitler would have won.

-What?

-Hitler would have won, yes.

I'm going to make you

a synoptic chart...

What do you know about Russia?

What do I know about Russia?

Russia was a country

with 95% illiteracy.

And so?

See, you're thick, I can't talk to you.

You don't understand anything.

In 5 years, they manufactured

2 million tractors.

You know why? 'Cause

they copied from Henry Ford.

-Who did they copy?

-Henry Ford.

The Soviet Union put a satellite

in orbit in 40 years.

Such a waste, the Sputnik!

Pure propaganda.

Ah, no, no, no, no.

Don't mess with what's mine.

If you don't know, ask me,

I'll teach you for free.

What do you think you are,

mail-order astronaut? Please!

By mail? Yes, go, go.

We landed on the Moon.

You didn't.

Can you explain what the heck reaching

the Moon served for? Neoliberal recruit!

Wait, I don't

understand how you called me.

"neoliberal recruit."

But what can you get,

Bolshie, indoctrinated!

And it remains to be seen if they

really reached the Moon. I have my doubts.

Ah, precisely you bring out

that conspiracy theory?

Fake astronaut!

-No theory.

-I unlearn with you.

-No theory.

-I'm going backwards.

I saw in a documentary

that it was filmed in a studio.

The flag doesn't wave, and the footsteps don't match.

By not having to be what

we were taught but didn't live,

we didn't care to think what

we wanted according to the moment.

The skeptics.

There you have it. We could

call the Yankees imperialists

one week, and defenders

of humanity the next.

I could tell your mom without

guilt that believing in God

was something for fools and

she was shocked.

And the next week

she'd get in my place,

and I pretended to cross myself

calling her a heretic.

Hi.

Hello.

Everything okay?

You?

Good.

Good evening.

What are you doing here?

I'll bring you the usual,

commander.

-What's he doing here?

-We'll kiss each other later.

Now start ordering, I have two

hands and the bar is full...

How did he get here?

I don't know, ask him.

But it's weird...

A little surprise I had for you.

Getting a job for the waiter

is in her novel.

Yes, your old lady

was awesome then.

We talking about social justice,

trying to fix the world

one side and the other of the table,

and Fermn was unemployed...

How were you two going

to fix the world,

if didn't even let each other know

that you were from the same neighborhood?

If we didn't cross paths

with your mother before,

it was because science

fiction wasn't her thing.

Anyway, destiny managed.

You're quite romantic, too.

I take after someone.

Yes.

No doubt.

Hey, Beto.

Tell me.

Why did you stop seeing each other?

Didn't she tell you?

No.

I let slip a really stupid detail.

What are you talking about?

One of our Thursdays...

I mentioned that my birthday

was on the 15th of that month.

On a day I had told her I was retired,

I almost showed her my ID, and well...

I gave my date of

birth, and she caught it.

What does that have to do with

deciding not to see each other?

That year, my birthday...

was on a Thursday.

And when I went in, I noticed that

your mom was waiting for me with

a square-wrapped gift.

I had a little problem at the lab.

What was your mom's name?

Seba...

Please.

Her name was Irene.

So that was her name.

Writer?

No.

She wasn't.

Until you gave her strength

and, by the way, a story.

Empty of topics.

That night we chose...

...to tell each other experiences with

analysts who never treated us.

Lacanian.

Was the type of therapy?

She told me.

I don't know much...

-A she?

-Yes.

Did you like her?

Yes.

Yes, she was cool.

She felt more traitorous

to the pact than ever.

Of course, I also accused myself

of the same when I understood that...

...I had leaked her real data, like

my date of birth, something that...

Excuse me.

Good evening. It's been a while.

-How are you, commander?

-Well, Fermn.

Does your son also drink?

-He's not...

-Yes, go ahead.

Pour me one.

Here's to your mom.

My mom.

What can I say...?

From then on, our Thursdays

were never the same.

I understand.

Do you really?

What do you understand?

Tell me, you who always

saw us from the outside,

without giving away the game.

That reality covers what

we really want to tell,

and if I want to be a writer, I must

be careful not become its sl*ve.

Did you learn this at the university?

No.

Mom.

Not university...

You and mom made me

understand that...

...the moments that

really matter are the...

...ones when you dare to

invent your own world.

And that's how we stopped

seeing each other.

Without knowing which life

the other would return to.

But well, Seba...

...the moments I shared

with your mom...

...became forever...

How can I explain?

What should I call them?

The Secret of What Is Real

by Irene Singer