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10x06 - Badass Brooke

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Penn & Teller: Fool Us". Aired: 7 January 2011 – present.*
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A magic competition television series in which magicians perform tricks in front of American magician-comedian duo Penn & Teller.

10x06 - Badass Brooke

Post by bunniefuu »

- From the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host, Brooke Burke.

- Welcome to "Fool Us,"

a show that gives
the world's greatest magicians

the chance of a lifetime
to fool two Las Vegas legends

and take home
the treasured "Fool Us" trophy.

Only one thing stands
in their way.

Well, actually, two things,

Penn and Teller.

Penn and Teller are ready
to rock,

and so is tonight's first act.

Let's meet them right now.

- We are Ramó and Alegria.

We are from Spain,
and we are so happy to be back.

This time, we are here
to win with my trick.

- It's an incredible trick.

- No verdad. No.
- Sí.

- Alegria has been
doing therapy.

I think it's helping.

We work better as a team now.

She even made me pancakes
the other day.

They weren't bad.

I think Alegria is trying
to be especially nice to me.

- I made some changes,
just for make it better.

I guarantee, it will k*ll.

- Coming to us from Spain,
please welcome

the always feisty
Ramó and Alegria.

- Ramó and Alegria.

That was great.
Is he OK?

Is he coming back to us?

- I hope.

- How often does he get hurt
in your acts?

Here he comes.

OK.

He's OK, everyone.

Come on over here
and join us, Ramó.

We were getting worried
about you.

- I don't know.

I'm just trying not to die
in the stage.

- Is there a story
behind this act

that we might not
have recognized?

- Yeah.
- It's like,

the girls in the magic always...

- The girls...
- Always in the back...

- Yeah.
- Always in the shadow.

- And now she's in charge.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- So this is a...

- It's like a revenge...
- Revenge in this act?

- Yeah.
- Got it.

OK, Ramó and Alegria, it looks
like the boys are ready.

Let's go and see
if you fooled them.

Penn and Teller?

- Ramó and Alegria,
good to see you again.

I just want to tell you,
and I mean this,

you can look for 50 years
all over the world,

and you will not find a better
stage magic routine than this.

This is the best
stage illusion ever.

It's just funny,
and it's just terrific

and so, so difficult.

We sit here all the time
with people, often from Spain,

who do incredible card tricks,
incredible coin tricks,

and we talk about
how difficult that is

and the practice of that...
And we're right.

It really is.

But this is harder

because it's just harder
to hide a human being

than it is to hide
a card in your hand.

You're doing this incredibly
difficult illusion stuff.

And you then have
this comedy overlay

that's just absolutely perfect.

So I can go on and on
saying good stuff.

And here's the moment
where I'm gonna need therapy

because my self-loathing
will be so overwhelming.

After saying
all this good stuff about you,

we then have to say,
you didn't fool us.

But we love you and please,

please come back
every time you can.

- Thank you.
Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Ramó and Alegria, everyone.

You didn't fool them,
but we sure enjoyed that.

Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Bye.
- Thank you.

Ramó and Alegria, everyone.

Coming up, more magic tricks

from the best magicians
working today,

including a trick by Penn
and Teller in tonight's finale,

so stay close, everyone.

- Welcome back.
Stopping by to try

to fool Penn and Teller
is this next magician.

- I was bullied as a kid.

It made me feel powerless.

So I know what drew me to magic.

A magician makes things happen.

There's this cool illusion
of being the one in control.

I've always liked that idea,

and it kind of got me
through some tough times.

If I meet someone
who's been bullied,

I tell them, things change,

and life definitely gets better.

So if you can use static
to charge your phone,

why settle for anything else?

- And I guess that's a fooler.

- I fooled Penn and Teller
last time,

and it was one of
the great moments in my life.

So much has changed
since that moment.

I now have a wife and a baby.

I show my daughter
magic sometimes

just to see her fun reactions.

I got a video of it on my phone.

You want to see it?

- She seems fascinated
by my "Fool Us" trophy too.

So I'd like to bring her
another one.

I want to fool Penn and Teller
this time for her.

- Please welcome
the magic of Bryan Saint.

- Thank you so much.
Thanks, Brooke.

Hey, Penn and Teller.

I'm gonna show
all of you a trick

that can only be done on TV.

Cube,

mixed.

One second.

Solved.

- It's green screen.

Don't get ahead of me.

As I said, this is a trick
that can only be done on TV.

Some of you may have
seen me do this trick on TV,

and you're thinking,
I remember seeing that trick.

I don't remember being
this disappointed.

That's because if you saw
me do this trick on TV,

you don't remember seeing
that cheap green folder.

It was there.
You just didn't see it.

That's because with this
very specific shade of green,

this green folder was able
to be used as a green screen.

Now, on TV, a green screen
can be digitally replaced

with anything,
which is why it's one

of the unwritten rules
of "Fool Us"

that you can't use
a green screen in your act

because I could just replace it
with anything I wanted...

Solved cube, mixed cube...

"Fool Us" trophy.

Or I could replace it
with nothing,

make it look like
the table is empty.

And that looks great
when it's me and a TV camera.

Not quite as effective
when it's me, a TV camera,

and a live Las Vegas audience.

Because all of you see
that green screen,

so you assume that behind it,
there must be a mixed-up cube.

Which there is.

And if you assume
there's a mixed-up cube,

you probably assume
that all I'm doing is just

switching cubes
behind the screen,

but that's not what I'm doing.

I'm not switching cubes.

Switching cubes isn't
that practical anyway

because with what you see here,
a solved cube and a mixed cube,

you can only do the trick
one time.

The solved cube would
start behind.

The mixed cube would
start out front.

You can mix it more if you want.

It doesn't matter.

It's never going to get solved.

Then you'd put
the mixed cube behind.

You would make the switch,
bring out the solved cube,

and the trick would be over.

Because if you're
switching cubes,

you can't mix the solved cube.

Well, like I said,
I'm not switching cubes.

So what if I did mix up
the solved cube?

And what if I did
the trick again?

You see, a lot of you were
really fooled

for about one second.

Because one second is
all it took

for most of you
in this room to think,

OK, he's using a third cube.

All right, fine.

But what if I did
the trick again?

You see, at this point,
you're not thinking,

he's got a fourth cube.

You're thinking, how many cubes
does this fool have?

And if I was switching cubes,
it'd be a lot,

because I'd want to do
the trick over and over again.

The problem is, I wouldn't
actually be solving any cubes.

I would always be switching
for a solved cube.

So doing the trick
over and over again

just ends up being
a domino effect.

This cube gets switched
for cube one.

Then cube one gets switched
for cube two,

cube two for cube
three and so on.

So at this point,
you're not even impressed

by the trick anymore.

You're more impressed
by my organizational skills.

But you might be thinking,
if I'm not switching cubes,

can I do the trick
without the green screen?

Well, yeah.

What is the easiest way
to solve a cube on TV quickly

without using a green screen?

It's pretty simple.

Just make yourself a green cube.

Works the same way
as a green screen.

Every sticker is green,
so you just digitally replace

the stickers
with anything you want...

Solved cube, mixed cube...

"Fool Us" trophy.

Two problems... number one,
same live Las Vegas audience.

And number two, I'm guessing
it's one of the unwritten rules

of "Fool Us" that you can't use
a green cube in your act.

My problem is, I can't solve
a normal cube quickly

without hiding it.

So if I can't use
the green screen,

I have to use something else.
I could use my coat,

but this doesn't prove
that I'm not switching cubes.

It may prove
that I'm some weirdo

that likes to hide cubes
all over my body.

But I want you
to forget all that.

Just for a second,
I want all of you

to put yourself
in Penn and Teller's place.

If this really is a normal cube,

and I'm not switching,

then what is happening behind
this green folder right now

that allows me to do this?

Well, obviously,
I can't tell you.

But I can tell you,

I'm not switching cubes.

- What?

What?
Bryan Saint, everyone.

What?
- Thank you, Brooke.

Pleasure to meet you.
- My goodness.

Wow, you had me on the hook
the entire time.

Were you one of those kids

that could just crush
the Rubik's Cube?

Absolutely not, so...

- So how did this trick
come to be?

- This all came from a joke.

There's a joke that I see

a lot of magicians do
when they're doing cube magic,

and I always thought there was
something more to the joke,

that there was actually
a really good trick.

And it turned into
what you saw here.

What happens
when tricks go wrong?

I... I prefer
to have something go

not according to plan
in my real show.

Years ago, I used
to keep all my props

in a case on stage
when I would perform.

That case fell behind me.

Every prop I owned shot
into the first eight row

of the audience
like a tidal wave,

and the crowd went crazy.

And after the show, I had
at least a dozen or so people

come up and say, hey, we'd like
to book you for our event,

and we want to make sure

that you do the case thing
in our show.

- They probably thought
it was part of the act.

- So... yeah, they thought
it was part, you know?

And what's the worst
that can happen?

It can't be
much worse than that.

- That's a great attitude.

OK, Bryan, let's see
if your cube magic

mixed up Penn and Teller enough
to get you a trophy.

- Let's hope so.

- All right, boys?

- As the one who does
most of the talking

for Penn and Teller,
I want to tell you, Bryan,

I believe that's the best
patter we've had on the show.

- Whoo.

Wow.
- That is the...

- Wow. Thank you so much.

- That is the best script,
the most beautifully delivered,

just the timing
and everything, just...

Just wonderful
all the way through.

- Wow.
- A nice, clear concept

people could understand,
and then re-explained,

and then expanded, and just
beautifully put together.

And if... if we were giving
an award for patter,

that would come down right now.

But that's not what it is.

- OK.
- We really think

we have a good idea
how you did it.

But...

what we're saying to each other

about how you did it,

feels half-assed.

And even though we use logic

to figure out how you did this,

we just cannot figure out
how you did it.

So you fooled us.

- You made us work for it.
You stumped Penn and Teller.

Amazing.
Congratulations.

Wow.

I didn't know where you were
going with that one, Penn.

Bryan Saint, everyone.

- That was fabulous.
- Thank you so much.

- We really enjoyed that.

Thank you, Bryan.

He's so good.

I love it.

Bryan Saint just put
the "fool" in "Fool Us."

We've got more coming up,
so stay close, everyone.

- Welcome back.

So far, one magician has
already fooled P&T,

but there might be another one
coming your way right now.

- My younger sisters were
a great audience

for my early tricks.

They loved it,

until they didn't.

Then my c*ptive audience
disappeared.

You have to work
to hold your audience.

I was happy
my college in Korea had

an excellent magic department.

Not many universities
offer such a program.

There, I was able to learn

classical and modern techniques.

It has paid off.

I have enjoyed
seven wonderful years

as a professional magician.

I like to create my own tricks

using everyday objects that
people can see in a new way.

Tonight, I have
a fun new trick up my sleeve.

I'm ready to blow away
Penn and Teller,

and maybe it can
get me a trophy.

- Coming to us from Korea,

put your hands together
for Sion.

- Sion, everyone.

We want more.
This was so much fun.

You seem like you get
a lot of joy from magic.

- It's the most joyful thing
in the world.

- The audience really,
really loved that.

You had them clapping
and moving.

And how important is
the audience energy

in your performance?

- I'm curious
if you could share with us

one of the strangest places
that you have ever performed.

- Was that more nerve-wracking
than performing with...

For Mr. P&T?

Our generals.

- He really wanted
to show it off.

So instead of being nervous,

he was more ecstatic to perform.

- Sion, let's find out if Penn
and Teller know the secrets

to your sponge ball magic.

Here we go.

Ready?
- Yeah.

- Boys?

- Sion, that was...
That's a great routine.

You know, I don't think
I've ever seen a magic act

themed entirely around color.

Color is usually
just part of it.

You had color as the whole
theme, which is really nice.

And using a paintbrush
as a magic wand

was just a really smart idea.

And the idea of taking
a sponge-ball routine

and a quick-change routine
and a film-to-life routine

and putting those all together
as one idea framed by color

was really, really good.

And I think you could see
that the audience loved it.

There's so much in this.

There's dozens and dozens
of magic moves.

And as much as we love them,

they're all magic moves
that we knew

and just thought
you were terrific

and wonderful
and loved the color theme.

And sadly, for us,
you didn't fool us.

Well, you didn't fool the boys,
but we certainly enjoyed that.

The audience had so much fun.

Let's... let's give him
some more love, Sion.

And you can see that
they love you as well.

We really enjoyed that.

So much fun.

Come back for more, Sion.

How about a quick break
and then more magic?

Sound good?

Well, we'll see you
in one minute.

- Welcome back.

Our next magician is ready
to fool Penn and Teller.

Let's see if they
can fool you, too.

Take a look.

- I'm Vilgot from Sweden,
and I'm 17 years old.

I come from
a family of inventors,

entrepreneurs, and artists.

Combine all of them,
you get me, a magician.

The fourth ingredient is my own.

I'm an optimist.

I refuse to believe that
anything is impossible.

The first time I decided to
compete in magic, I was 11.

So I was so nervous, but I won

the Swedish Junior Championship.

I told you I was an optimist.

I think what plays a big role
in my performances

is that I portray this
image of confidence.

Now I'm facing one of the
biggest challenges of my life.

Penn, Teller,
I might be nervous,

but you'll never know.

- This 17-year-old from Sweden

just might be
the future of magic.

Give it up, everyone,
for Vilgot Michelin.

- Hello, "Fool Us."

As you can see, this table
has a line down the middle.

This line separates
the present from the future.

And this is very important
because I'm only 17 years old.

So it's unlikely I can fool

Penn and Teller in the present.

But I think I have a chance
to fool you here in the future.

I even brought a piece
of my own future.

Penn and Teller, would you
please join me in the future?

What I am about to do
is a magic trick

that will take us
through time and space.

And, Penn and Teller,
we're going to start with you.

- OK.

- Here in the future,
we have a blue-backed deck,

and I want you to see
all 52 cards,

seeing they're all the same
on the backs

and all different on the faces.

Teller, I would like you
to cut off some cards.

And, Penn, you take the rest.
- OK.

- In a moment, I'd like you
to look through the cards.

Look at the faces.

Look at the backs.

Make sure that this is an
ordinary deck of cards.

Go ahead.

Teller, you too.

Wow, you guys really
don't trust me.

- Not at all.

OK.

- Thank you, Penn,
and thank you, Teller.

Finally,
I will give the cards a mix

before they go back
in the empty card box,

which, Teller,
you can see is truly empty.

Yes, perfect.

I'll square these up.

Please keep an eye on them
here in the future.

I'll be back.
- OK.

Ooh. Well.

Here I am in the present,
and, Brooke,

would you please
come and join me?

- I'd love to.

Nice.

Goodness.

- You are going to select one
of these 52 red-backed cards,

and that card is going
to be our time traveler.

So as I run my pen
over the cards,

please just tell me stop.

- Stop.
- Here?

- Yes.

- And then pen comes down
at the 6 of diamonds.

And the 6 of diamonds
will be our time traveler.

And, actually,
since it is your card,

I'll try to draw
a picture of you on it.

- OK.
- OK.

OK, hold still.

OK, OK.

I think this looks good.

What do you think?

- Honestly, that does
not look like me.

- OK.
No.

But you're adorable.

- Now we'll put it
back in the deck.

I'm gonna cut up
bunches of cards.

And again, please tell me, stop.

- OK.

Stop.

- OK, would you like one more?

- Sure.
- OK.

And exactly there,
I will put our time traveler,

leaving it face up
in the middle of the deck.

- OK.

- Our final act is to launch
our time traveler

from the present
into the future.

So, Penn, please pick up
the blue deck in the future.

Brooke, pick up the red deck
here in the present.

Hold them up like this.

I'm going to count
from 3, 2, 1, drop.

And when I say, drop, both
of you drop your decks, OK?

- OK.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

- 3, 2, 1, drop.

I hope it worked.

- Me too.
- Me too.

- And if it did,
your card, Brooke,

which was face up,
should now be gone.

Can you see the 6 of diamonds?

- No.
- No.

We can go through every
single card, and you'll see,

there is no 6 of diamonds
anywhere to be found.

- Wow.

- Not even in the card case.

- Nope.
- No.

Well, this could
only mean one thing.

It's time to go
back to the future.

Ooh.

Now, Penn, you and Teller
examined these cards

thoroughly before
we even started.

- We sure did.
- All ordinary blue cards.

Please take them out.

And I'll take the cards.

I bet you will.

- And if this miracle of magic
and time travel worked,

we should find one card
face up, the 6 of diamonds.

- 6 of diamonds.
- Wow.

Look.

That's me.

- We found our time traveler.

By the way, because
if Brooke's card actually

traveled through time and space,

it must come from the red deck.

And it does.

- Wow.

- Well, Penn and Teller, here.

Ooh, be careful.

My future is in your hands.

Yeah.

Thank you.

- Vilgot Michelin.

Well done.
Come and join me.

Let's have a chat.
Wow.

OK, well, you fooled me.

That was amazing.

- That's a start.

- What inspired this trick?

- Well, I started out
with the concept

of "Back to the Future."

I really liked the movie.

And so I thought, what can
I create in magic that can,

well, you know,
share my love for it?

- What else do you do
besides magic?

- Well, you know,
outside of magic,

usually I just be really
annoying to my little sister.

- I play some instruments.

I play the piano.

- Yeah, and I also
play double bass.

Ba-doo-boom-boom-boom.

Yeah, like Penn.
- Nice.

All right, Vilgot,
let's see if there's

a "Fool Us" trophy
in your future.

Penn and Teller?

- 17 years old?
- Yeah.

- When I was 17, I'd never
even been to Sweden.

That's... really, really,
really good.

We just loved it,
and you're so young.

We hope we're on the air
long enough,

you can come back
another zillion times.

But there are so many movies
we could talk about.

We talked about
"Back to the Future,"

but you could also talk about
"Star Wars"...

Would also be important
for this.

We got "The Karate Kid"
with wax on, wax off.

You got "Batman"
with my favorite.

You know, not... not the Joker.

My favorite was Two-Face.

You've also got
"Terms of Endearment,"

which I hated.

I hated that movie,

and it's got nothing
to do with his trick.

I just wanted to point out
how much I hated that movie.

You were so good,
and we loved you.

And such a great performance.

But it's gonna be next time,
we think, that you fool us,

not this time.
- OK.

Well, Vilgot, let me ask you.

What do those movies have to do
with your magic method?

Because that means nothing
to me and maybe our audience,

but does that mean...
- We weren't talking to you.

- Well, I'm trying to
figure this out, Penn.

- We weren't talking to you.

We're talking
to a magician here.

- Vilgot, does that
all make sense?

Do you think you fooled
Penn and Teller?

- Well, I look forward
to the future.

- We look forward
to having you back.

Thank you.

Vilgot Michelin, everyone.

Penn and Teller put their heads
together for that last trick,

and they're gonna put
their talents together

when they take the stage next.

So stay close, everyone.

- Welcome back.

Getting ready to host this show,

I watched a lot of episodes
of "Fool Us."

And one thing that I noticed,

along with a ton
of incredible magic,

was that some magicians do
tricks that are pretty intense

and sometimes even
a little bit gross.

Now, in our first meeting,
Teller even said...

Yes, he actually said...

That they were
a little bit worried

that I might be uncomfortable

with some of those intense
tricks and that I might even

be a little bit squeamish.

Well, boy, they don't know me.

Well, guys, I just might be a
little tougher than you think.

So to prove it, I worked up
a little trick of my own.

And to close the show,
Penn and Teller,

would you please join me
on stage?

Whoo.

Boys, I'm a little bit nervous.

Now I know how
the magicians feel.

But I have prepared
a trick for you,

and this is a little bit
of a dangerous trick...

I hope you can take it...

One that you should
not do at home.

We are gonna take
a sewing needle.

And we're gonna put
the sewing needle...

We're gonna thread some
dental floss through it

and put it through my ear lobe.

And then like magic,

we're gonna rip it
through my ear lobe.

- Sure.
- So a little dangerous.

Could be a little bit gross.
Could be a little bit bloody.

Is that cool?
OK, I'm gonna need your help.

Do you mind, Teller,
just taking out my earring?

Because I want to show
everybody at home

that I do have pierced ears.

Teller.

I'm just kidding, guys.

Come on, you guys.

You've probably never
assisted someone

doing magic before, have you?
- No, we're good.

- OK, so now we're gonna
thread this dental floss

right through
the sewing needle, OK?

And hopefully I can get it
right through there.

There we go.

So that was easy enough.

So nothing funny here.

Now what I'm gonna do, boys...

And if you don't mind...
You see that, Teller?

Legit needle, yeah?
Dental floss.

I'm gonna thread this needle
through my ear.

- Is that why I got this mirror?

- I need you to hold
that mirror up because

what if I poked it into
the wrong place, right?

So a little bit higher.

Right there.

And here we go.

Needle through my pierced ear.

- It's going through there?

- So check this out, everybody.

I just want to show you.

That's through.

- I know, look at that.

- Yeah, that's through there.
- Does that look painful?

This one's not comfortable.

So now I'm gonna
remove the needle, OK?

- OK.

- Teller, can I give you
the needle?

And now, look at this guys,
right through the ear.

See that?
- Yes, I can see it.

Yes, I can see it.
I see it.

- Do I trust you guys or what?
- I've seen it.

- Teller, take a look at that.
- You've shown me.

You see... we've seen it.
- Come on.

Does that gross you out?
- We have seen.

- All right,
all right, all right.

So now what I need
you guys to do,

you can put the mirror down,
it's OK.

We're gonna just even this out.

And then if I could
get both of you

to take one end
of the dental floss.

Yeah, and you're ready
to rip that off for me.

Thank you.

OK, now, guys, this is serious
because if this goes wrong,

you're gonna rip
through my earlobe.

There's gonna be
blood everywhere,

and we're gonna need stitches.

So let's count it down together.

Are we ready?
I'm trusting you, Teller.

Even though you doubted me,
I'm trusting you.

Here we go.
Are we ready?

- Yep.
- All right, here we go.

3, 2, 1.

- Go.
- Pull.

- Boys?

- Brooke Burke, ladies and
gentlemen, Brooke Burke.

- It's time for my magic ears
and I to say goodbye,

but we'll be right back with
another fantastic episode

when "Fool Us" returns.

I got some good ones.