01x04 - Astoria and the Beanstalk

[bunniefuu]

♪ Living a fairy tale ♪

♪ Side by side, together forever ♪

♪ Life is cool ♪

♪ This is Regal Academy ♪

♪ Light your sparkle
Make it shine and live the magic ♪

♪ You know you're gonna make it ♪

♪ Step by step, we will grow up together ♪

♪ Friends are great
This is Regal Academy ♪

♪ Find the key, unlock your dreams
And live the magic ♪

♪ The door is open ♪

♪ This is Regal Academy ♪

[Rose] "Astoria and the Beanstalk."

[Rose] Oh, no! I'm gonna be late
for heroism class!

[panting]

[grunts]

Gotta hurry, gotta hurry!
[panting]

Ugh! How does anyone have time for heroism
with so many good shoe sales!

Whoa! My key!

[muffled speech]

[groans]

[muffled voice]
Oh, I think it was bigger last time.

[grunts]

[gasps] What have I done?

My shoes!

I gotta catch up with my new shoes!

Huh?

Ooh, perfect!
I didn't have time to change.

[gasps]

Someone save my shoes!

-[Rose screaming]
-[campus dragon] I'm not a taxi!

Soft bushes!
Ow! Thorny bushes! [groans]

Huh?

-[campus dragon] Or a porter!
-[laughs]

Hurry up, Miss Cinderella.

-Class is about to start.
-Okay! Thanks!

Oh, the time, the time!

A hero is never late,
especially to heroism class!

[croaks]

Gotta hurry, gotta hurry, gotta hurry!
[screams]

-[croaks]
-[screams]

Ow.

[gasps]

Hey! Who just leaps on flowers?

Oh, sorry.

-Sorry? We're super delicate, you know?
-Oh, hey! Looks like it's raining.

[both groan]

It's raining shoes?

-This is the worst day ever!
-[Rose] My bad!

[Wolfram] Oral exam time, class.

You're going to need your thinking cap,
some heroic thoughts,

and an exploding Number 2 pencil.

Question one, demonstrate wrestling...

I hurt... [pants] some flowers.

Had to take them to the hospital. [sighs]

[Wolfram] What's the best way to defuse
a detonating Drama Queen?

-Anyone?
-[Gerald] Uh, be a good listener?

Excellent, Gerald!

And now, it's time
for the take-home portion of the test.

It's so insanely dangerous,
only the bravest of you will succeed.

You have to get a golden egg
from Beanstalk Castle

and have it in class by tomorrow.

[all gasping]

The eggs have shells made of gold,

but the yolks can be used to make spells
so powerful, they even work on dragons.

Oh, I really want one of those eggs.

But, Vicky, that's super dangerous.

I'm not going to fight the danger,
I'm going to join it.

Now, the eggs spoil very easily,
so you must get them back

and into the legendary magic container
of preservation.

[students chattering]

Isn't that just an old refrigerator?

[Astoria] Uh, refriga-what?

And to take notes, I've supplied you
with exploding Number 2 pencils.

Exploding? Cool!

Ah! Ooh, hot, hot, hot!

[Wolfram] Be brave, class.

And remember,
if a worm eats you, you get a zero.

[Ruby] Vicky, I don't know.
I heard the giant is, um, giant.

[Cyrus] Ooh, and I heard
he smells really awesome.

[Ruby] Cyrus, giants aren't supposed
to smell really awesome.

They don't even wash their hair.

Don't worry, I already sent a message
to the Master of Beanstalk Castle.

What was the message?

♪ Toodle-dee-doodly-doo ♪

I have a singing telegram for Vicky
from the Master of Beanstalk Castle.

I'm Vicky.

-Beans? Ooh, a snack?
-[Ruby] Ugh! No, Cyrus.

-[Vicky] Let's hear it.
-[clears throat]

♪ I'm master of the castle
And I'd like to team up with you ♪

♪ I smell really awesome
And I'm also super evil ♪

♪ I know that doesn't rhyme
But I don't care ♪

♪ Because, like I said ♪

♪ I'm evil ♪

Peace.

Well, that sounds promising.

[dragon] No, absolutely not!

I've summoned
too many magic armors today.

I'm tired!

We're not allowed to ride
our mission dragons without regal armor

because we're still beginners.

It's too dangerous.

So then what? Climb the beanstalk?

How about this guy?
He looks... low-key.

[snoring]

Uh...

Maybe too low-key.

[Rose] You worry too much, Travis.

This dragon will get us there
with no problem.

[laughs]

[Travis] Okay, I'll save my worrying
for everything else that could go wrong.

[Hawk] Come on. We get to fight a giant.
Today is gonna be great!

-[Rose] So, how do we get in?
-[Astoria] Hawk is right.

Now let's go to be heroes!

[all panting]

[all gasping]

So, how do we get in?

[Travis] Uh, knock?

[Joy] I could pretend to be
a travelling frog salesman.

Hmm. [gasps]

This is salon-grade shampoo.
Really expensive stuff.

The trail of soap goes all the way
around the castle.

[humming]

[yelps]

[Astoria] Well, I guess that's the giant
everyone's talking about.

But I thought giants
didn't wash their hair.

I better tell the others.

[Magic Harp singing]

[Hen] What took you so long?

Sorry. I had to visit
the little harp's room.

But I delivered your message,
Master Evil Magic Hen.

Ha! Everything is going according
to my insanely evil plan.

You have a plan?

-Of course I have a plan.
-[insect buzzing]

[laughs]

[choking, coughing]

I swallowed a bug.
I swallowed a bug!

[Rose] So, now what?

Now... this.

[Travis] Watch me.

Don't be stupid.
There's probably a trap.

Why would a giant need a trap?

Regal Academy students
constantly take his eggs.

[Joy] So, it's a bad idea
to blow down the door.

Travis? Uh...

Hmm, afraid I'll show you up, Hawk?

No, Travis, don't!

[all screaming, groaning]

[Hawk] Told you.

[Travis] Maybe the giant didn't hear that.
[chuckles]

-[footsteps approaching]
-Uh-oh. The giant's coming!

[Astoria] It's up to me to play hero.

-[Rose] Yay!
-You're always the hero, Astoria.

Quick, climb up.

[grunting]

No, one at a time is too slow.
Hurry!

All right, I've got an idea.
Rose, Joy, grab on to my feet.

[Rose] Okay. This is incredibly awkward,
but I guess it's working.

[screams]

-[Hawk] Rose, what's wrong?
-[gasps] Help!

A giant worm is going to ruin my shoes.
And possibly eat me.

-[grunts] Oh, no. Then we'd get a zero.
-Hold on!

[both grunt]

Got it. [chuckles]

[Astoria] Tickle-t*rture.

[laughing]

Please! [laughing]

-Yay!
-[screaming]

Ouch!

-Whoa!
-Huh? [groans]

Over here!

[Hawk] What's up, Astoria?
Did you find a way in?

Ha! You know, this morning,
my granny said

I should lock myself in a tower
so a hero could come rescue me.

But I told my grandma I could be the hero.
Grab on.

-[groans]
-[laughs]

[Joy] Is it me, or are we holding
on to a lot of feet today?

[grunts]

Now I've got them-- Uh, they're gone.

I knew these boots would slow me down.

But they fit so nice
and they make you look really tough.

Duh? You think I don't know that?

You guys are cutting off
the circulation to my feet.

-Oh, they're heading into the tower.
-The tower? [groans]

Now I've got to run up all those stairs?
I just had a huge bowl of chili.

[groans, grunts]

[Hen] Already rumbling.

Everyone, inside.

-We're safe.
-For now.

Cool as ice, Astoria.
You saved us twice.

So, how did you know this tower was here?

She's a Rapunzel. She knows towers.

Yes, that. And I also looked up.

-It's a giant tower. Hard to miss.
-[Travis] Right.

-So, where are the eggs?
-Well, Joy's right.

As a Rapunzel, I do know tower layout.

There's usually a magic egg room
right about...

here. [gasps]

[Rose] Wow, that's a lot of eggs!
Can we just take one?

[Astoria] We need a fresh one.
Let's find the hen.

[Travis] So, any idea how to find...

-Never mind.
-[panting]

You saved me. [panting]

[gasps] The magic hen!

Can you please make a golden egg for me?
Please, please?

Come on, just for me?

[Hawk] Uh, Rose?
I think she needs a minute.

-[Hen panting]
-Did you just sprint up the stairs?

No. I've been trapped up here
for, like, 100 years.

You just startled me, and...

-I've got asthma. Oh.
-[gasps]

Uh, can we have an egg?

Oh, well, I can just lay you an egg
once we escape the giant.

[all gasping]

[sniffing] Hmm...

Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell...

-Awesome!
-I know, right?

It's his shampoo.

How can he be evil if he washes his hair?

Mm-hmm, makes sense.

No! It's just a wig.
And he only wears it to eat people.

He's totally evil!

[all gasping]

-[Joy] Do we get to run now?
-[Hawk] No way! It's hero time, guys.

Then let's see
how he likes our expl*sive pencils.

Huh? Whoa! Ow!

[grunts]

-[groans] Oh, that was scary.
-[all screaming]

[Astoria] That was too close!

[panting]

[giant] I liked that floor.

[Hawk] Everyone okay?

Good thinking, Travis.

You cushioned our fall with your torso.
Thanks.

Ugh. No... problem.

Hey, where's Astoria?

[Hen] You useless giant!

Get up here, you big oaf.

That's rude. [groans]

Uh... [sniffs]

[Hen] Now start sniffing.
Smell them out!

Smell something? What is it?

That'd be me.

And it's called "Eau d'Evil"
if you're wondering.

So, Master, I'm Vicky.
I got your reply to my message.

-[Hen clears throat]
-[gasps]

-Huh?
-Actually, I'm the master.

I sent the harp.

So here's the deal,
you help me dispose of your classmates,

and then I'll send you an egg.

That's mean.
Those kids seem nice.

And the one girl has super beautiful hair.

Hey, that's me.

Silence!

Do as I say, or you will get no more
of the eggs you so desperately need.

Yes, Master.

[Hen] Okay, here's the plan.

[Hawk] We have to go back
and attack the giant.

[Rose] Wait! It's the Hen!

-Hi, Hen.
-Quick, we have to escape.

-[footsteps approaching]
-Huh?

Hey, that sounds like a chicken
in combat boots.

Oh, wow, it does.

-But it's the giant.
-[Travis] Let's go.

[all panting]

[grunting]

-[Travis] We're going.
-[Hawk shouts] Aw!

[all panting]

-He's right behind us.
-The Hen will lay us an egg.

Now all we've got to do is escape
to get a perfect score.

-[Joy] Astoria will be happy.
-[Travis] Astoria?

Oh, no! We have to go back!
We forgot Astoria!

[growls]

[both panting]

You were saying? [whimpers]

I'm sure Astoria is fine. [panting]

Everyone, stand back. I've got this.

[footsteps approaching]

All right, awesome-smelling-hair giant,
make my day.

Pumpkin Magic!

[grunting]

[chomping]

-[Rose] Uh, what are you doing?
-Pumpkins give me energy.

Uh...

[Rose] I'd like to see you try that again.

Yeah! Superpumpkin power!

-Rose, stop helping.
-Uh...

[Hawk] You know,
this doesn't feel very heroic.

[all whimpering]

Wow, I'm going to get a magic egg
and be rid of that Cinderella

at the same time?

Being evil is so awesome.

Good luck siding down this beanstalk now.

[laughs]

I'm open to any ideas.

I'm not finished yet. Watch this!

[Rose] If aiming high doesn't work,
I'll go low.

[grunting]

Yes! How do you like...

that?

[laughs] Yeah! Roller skates!

Huh?

[wailing, groans]

[all screaming]

Whose side are you on?

Hey, we're flying towards the beanstalk.

Yeah, but we're about to crash.

-Travis, quick, use your torso again.
-What? Hey!

-[grunting]
-[Travis groaning]

-Chicken!
-Oh!

Awesome torso save, Travis.

[groans]

Bad luck Beast. [grunts]

We're almost free.
Quick, slide down the beanstalk.

-[Travis] Sure, no problem.
-No, wait! The giant isn't evil! [pants]

The Hen is!

[Hen] That's crazy talk.

Whoever heard of a nice giant?
Or an evil Hen?

Slide down the beanstalk.

Yeah, what are you talking about, Astoria?

Look at his hair.
I mean, really, look at it.

[grunts, chuckles]

[gasps] It's beautiful!

-Mm-hmm.
-[sobbing]

[Astoria] You wouldn't hurt us, would you?

I heard the Hen do a deal with Vicky.
She's booby trapped it.

How do you booby trap a beanstalk?

[Travis] Oh, that's how.

Wow, if we'd slid down this,
we'd have been totally doomed.

-You tried to doom us?
-[gasps]

-You're going to pumpkin prison!
-No, wait, not pumpkin. [screams]

Ah! No, I'm allergic to pumpkins!

They give me terrible gas.

[gasps] Oh, no.
[grunts] The gas can't escape.

-[farting]
-[all gasping]

-[Hen groaning] It's horrible!
-[all] Ugh!

[farting and groaning continues]

I'm going to pass out. [farts]

[all laugh]

Oh, what am I going to do?

The hen's eggs used to keep my hair
all shiny and bouncy.

Woe is me.

Perhaps I can recommend
some hair care products.

They're made with botanicals, organics,
and a little bit of Rapunzel magic.

[laughs] Thank you!
I guess I don't need this, then.

You can have it.

-[gasps]
-Uh, okay.

So, how are we supposed to get down now?
The beanstalk is a nightmare knife slide.

Well, you are a Rapunzel.

-[Rose] Let down your hair!
-Oh, no.

[Astoria] Not again. I'll have split ends
for weeks from the worm save.

This time we're taking the ivy train.
Tower Magic!

All aboard!

Assignment accomplished, team.

[all cheering]

Wow, how many times
did Astoria save us today?

I don't know, but I'm glad I didn't have
to hold on to anyone's feet this time.

That was getting weird.

Still, you're a real hero, Astoria.

Well, don't tell my grandmother.

[sniffs]

Ugh, this egg is starting to stink.

[all groan]

-I think it smells frog-tastic.
-Then you hold it.

We'd better get it to Professor Wolfram
before it goes completely bad.

-Leave it to me.
-Uh...

[Travis]
Why am I not filled with confidence?

Pumpkin Magic!

[Rose] Oh, yes!

-[Joy] I think she's improving.
-[laughs]

Ah!

[Hawk] Whoa, is that a pumpkin drag racer?

-That looks incredibly dangerous.
-[engine revs]

The egg is spoiling.
Do you want an A or not?

-[all chattering]
-[Astoria] Left!

Go left! No, your other left!

[all screaming]

[Hawk] Well, that wasn't so bad.

How do we stop?

It's got a parachute, silly.

[Hawk] Ah!

Okay. Guess we're gonna crash.

[all screaming]

[all screaming]

[tires screeching]

[Cyrus] What's that?

Awesome. Evil wins again.

[all groaning]

-Sorry, Professor, we, uh, lost the egg.
-Lost?

This is disappointing.

You not only failed,
look at your uniforms!

You hardly look the part of heroes.

And I had such high hopes
for your team, too.

[Magic Harp] Hey there, nice girl.
♪ La, la, la, la ♪

-[gasps]
-Shh!

A thank-you gift
for imprisoning my mean old master.

[gasps] Thank you. Oh.

I guess I have to give you all a zero.

Or you could give us perfect scores.

Huh? [gasps]

Ooh! We've got to get it in
the legendary container of preservation!

There we go.

-We did it!
-Yeah!

But why is it such a big deal
if the eggs go bad?

[laughs]

[cauldron bubbling]

The egg's magic is too powerful
to waste on heroism class.

I'm going to create a new spell
to control the Regal Academy gate.

♪ Regal Academy ♪

♪ The story's just begun
It's magic powers, friends and fun ♪

♪ This is Regal Academy ♪

♪ Regal Academy
Is just a magic whole new world ♪

♪ The dreams are right beyond that door ♪

♪ So place your hand in mine
We're gonna shine ♪

♪ We're gonna fly, we'll touch the sky ♪

♪ This is Regal Academy ♪