02x01 - Many Unhappy Returns

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise ♪

♪ Cowabunga ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise ♪

- Stand strong!

The Shredder will show no mercy.

- You betrayed me?

I thought we were partners.

- Ha! That's what we wanted you to think.

After we assembled the Dark Armor,

we needed a being of great mystic power to energize it

and bring the Shredder to life.

The Dark Armor consumed your life force.

And now it will destroy your body!

- Senseis!

My fury is unbridled and ready for--

[gasps]

you resurrected Shredder without me?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I wanna say I feel prepared,

but my chattering teeth won't let me.

all chanting: Shred, shred, shred!

- [growling]

all: Don't shred, don't shred!

- [yelps]

- [grunting]

- Such blind rage.

And going after his own.

That makes no sense.

- Thanks for doing the dirty work for us!

Big ups, Shreddy!

- Not now, Blue!

- What? I thought a nickname

might give us a nice rapport.

all: Cowabunga!

- Back off! You don't scare me...much.

- [growling]

[roaring]

- Huh?

- So...that was unexpected.

- You fools!

You have doomed all of humanity.

- Have we?

No, seriously, tell me.

This has all been very confusing.

- We must find out what went wrong.

Back to the Foot Shack!

- Hey!

[groans]

- Okay, what just happened there?

I thought Shredder was an evil samurai dude,

not some raging animal!

- Is he coming back?

I vote never.

- I do not know if he is coming back,

whatever he or it was.

That was not the Shredder I have heard tales of.

- I'm not sure we can handle that guy.

- What are you guys talking about?

We did great!

- What fight were you just in?

- The one where we made scrap metal

run home to its toaster mommy.

Wait, we gotta commemorate this.

[upbeat music]

and , baby.

- You declare victory too easily, Blue.

Humanity has never seen anything so destructive

and you are making T-shirts?

- [groans]

- Wow, one season later and I still got full battery.

Nice! Oh, and segue,

my police feed is going totally berserk.

Something major seems to be going down.

- [gasps] - Oh, my muffins!

[all screaming]

- [laughs] Gonna need to make

a " and " T-shirt after this.

- Look out!

- What?

Hey, kids, let's sing

Albearto's "Run To Safety" song!

♪ If Robot Bear comes to life ♪

♪ Or a mystic monster's causing you strife ♪

♪ Just run for the door, lickety split ♪

♪ And it's % off your next visit ♪

Go!

- Wait. Whoa!

Oh, cheater.

Don't think we're letting you keep those.

- This is serious stuff, Leo.

Will you shore up our right flank already!

- What? Mid-battle banter's my thing.

Like how yours is saying words like "flank."

We got this. Trust me.

- [roaring]

- Ow. - [shouting]

- [grunts]

- [gasps]

Oh, boy.

- [grunts] I will not allow you

to harm humans if it is the last thing I do.

[exhales]

I really want my last thing to be eating rainbow sherbet.

- [groans] Is he gone for good now?

- Based on his two zip-zaps, I predict that baddie's

gonna be back in fifteen minutes.

- Two data points?

You're hypothesizing with two data points?

Scoff.

[sirens wailing]

[all grunting]

Whoa, minutes. Scoff retracted.

[all gasp]

- This could be the end, fellas!

- I wish I had spent more time with my TV.

And maybe paid more attention

to my grandpa's stories about how to defeat the Shredder.

- [roaring]

[all shouting]

- I can't look. Did we make it?

No one's responding. I'm the only one who made it!

- Nothing we throw at Shredder is working.

- I don't know how much longer we can keep this up.

He's crushing us.

- Really? 'Cause I thought my overall

ninjosity was totally working.

- It wasn't.

- I'm pretty sure it was about to.

- Okay, what do we got?

Good ideas first.

- There may be one person who can help.

She's known for reining in raging beasts.

Big Mama.

- What? She'll never help us.

- She'll help me. I'm the face man.

People love me.

- Last time you saw her she tried to k*ll you.

- Who hasn't?

Dad's idea is great. I'll go in there,

turn up the Leo and she'll be begging to help us.

- Now's not the time for schmoozing, Leo,

or for splitting up the Mad Dogs.

This is Shredder. We need all hands on deck.

- If Dad thinks Big Mama can help us, we gotta try.

- What?

I need some time to think about...

Whoa!

- You can totally handle Shreddy on your own.

Trust me. You guys got this.

[both grunt]

- So you knew Big Mama back in the day?

- Uh, we were just friends. I mean...

uh...it will all be fine. [chuckles]

Just rat up and see her. How bad could it be?

Okay, super awful, but come on. Tuck in your tail and let's go.

- [clears throat] Two to see Big Mama.

We're totally on her schedule.

Sweet whisker mustache, BTW.

Makes you look young--or old, whichever you're going for.

- Two tattered-up mutants here for you, mum.

A rat and one of them bleedin' Turtles.

- Tell them to shove off.

- Mm-hmm.

She says to, quote, "shove off."

- [groans] Fine.

Tell her...

her snuggle muffin beefcake is here.

- Uh...how do you know Big Mama again?

- In addition to being a crime-boss,

Big Mama is also, kind of...

my ex.

- What!

- Believe me, I rue the day

those eight legs walked into my life.

I met her in human form on the set of

"Crouching Shrimp Hidden Tiger Prawn."

- Hot soup!

- She was the Teamster who drove my trailer.

It was love at first tire rotation.

Oh, what a whirlwind.

We hit all the discotechs,

exercise-techs, Philly cheese steak-techs,

petting zoo-techs. [chuckles]

Big Mama and I were inseparable.

Then...one night at Dinner on the Green,

I was going to ask her to marry me,

but instead of accepting my proposal,

she revealed

she was a Giant Spider.

Kidnapped me to the Hidden City

and forced me to fight in the Battle Nexus.

[groans]

Not really the response I was looking for.

In hindsight, I may have missed a few clues.

[sighs]

I do miss our pre-kidnapping times.

I mean, how could anyone stay mad at those eyes,

that smile, and those...

- No, no, no, no more lovey and or dovey talk!

- Hey rat, Big Mama's got a message for you two.

- Probably her long overdue apology.

- Whoa!

[both shouting]

both: Whoa!

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [roaring]

[growling]

- Whoo!

[cheering]

- The Battle Nexus?

Okay, no biggie. We got this.

Trust me.

- I do not!

You don't know Big Mama like I do.

She's ruthless. [elevator dings]

- Snuggle muffin beefcake?

Where did you hear that naughty little nickname, Rat Man?

- [grumbles]

[grunts]

From you, as we tangoed the night away,

my sassy sugar badger.

- It is you!

And more fetching than ever,

my fuzzy Cuddleupagus.

- I did not come for the trip down kidnapping lane.

The Shredder beast is about to lay waste to New York!

- Well, let's have a look see.

Ooh, what a brutey behemoth. By the look of it,

his quantum energy is in flux.

If I had to guess, I would say

your raging beast is not tethered to this dimension.

In other words, he's flizzy-flopping

back and forth, my huggie poo.

- I assume you have something to contain him?

- I do have a splenderific mystic bauble

that you can have... for a price.

- And there it is.

Always has to be something in it for her.

- Prickly Petey losing his charm.

- Hey, hey, hey. Water under the bridge.

Big Mama, bubby, let's talk Shredder.

He's bad for us, bad for New York,

bad for your Yokai business in New York,

so if you got a solution, let's make a deal.

- Blue, don't! Nobody ever outsmarts her.

- Relax, I got this.

You know, I don't hear a lot of cheering.

Business is not booming.

What you need is a headliner.

Someone to put butts in seats.

Someone to take on your new champ.

Someone like your old champ in new form...

Rat Jitsu!

- What?

- Okay, fine, let me sweeten the deal.

- But she didn't even say no to your first deal yet.

- And Rat Jitsu is gonna be fighting with no weapons.

- But that beast has rat crushing tentacles!

- We have a deal.

- What?

No!

- Yes! Uh...

I'm not sure how this works. Which hand do I shake?

- [roaring]

- [yelps]

- Trust me, pops. You got this.

- I knew I should've brought purple.

- April O'Neil!

- Man, I don't know how many more

of Shredder's phasing-ins I can take.

- I can't believe we trusted Leo to get back here quickly.

All right, here's the new plan.

Everyone punch at a different place!

Maybe we'll find a weak spot!

- Uh...

- [roars]

- Punch it out, Mad Dogs!

[all grunting]

- [laughing]

- We found a tickle spot!

- Yes! [laughter]

- Mad Dogs...tickle!

- It's immobilizing him!

- Keep it up until Leo and Pops get back.

- What have you gotten me into?

- What?

This is one of my all-time great ideas.

You got out there, you wallop the champ,

and we get what we need to defeat Shreddy.

- You have thrown me into the lion's den!

- I think it's more of a Kraken's den.

- You in that outfit... that takes me back.

All those scrumptious victories.

Too bad this time, you will lose.

- Are you kidding me?

This is Lou Rat Jitsu we're talking about.

He could beat anybody.

- Leonardo.

- In fact, he could beat tons

of anybodies at once.

- Stop talking.

- Like your champ and those six guys.

- [growling]

Will you shush it already!

- In fact, we don't want this over too quickly.

You should armor up those rookies.

The whole shebang.

Especially with these pointy helmets.

Ow. - We have a deal.

- Oh, why did I ever trust you to handle this?

My other sons would have taken this seriously!

- He likes it, Shredder likes it!

[all gasp]

- The fireworks! He's distracted by the fire!

- [hissing]

- [grunts]

- Stop him before he gets to the people on the boat!

- I'm on it. Whiporama!

[upbeat music]

[train horn blares]

♪ ♪

- That's amazing, Mikey. - Whoa...

[shouts]

♪ ♪

- [growling]

- Where do you think you're going?

- [roaring]

- [grunting]

Come and get it, Shred Face.

Power punches ahoy!

[rumbling]

Uh-oh.

- [laughing]

♪ ♪

- All of my tech is standing by.

And I mean all of my tech.

- [hissing and growling]

- Eat science!

Sad face emoji.

[yelping]

[shouting]

[screams]

Ha, ha! Reap the whirlwind of my hanky.

[yelling]

[groans]

- "Why would you get a crane license, April?"

Because this!

- Sweet craning, April!

[thunderous boom]

- [roaring]

- Raph, Donnie, no time to rest!

[whimpers]

[moans]

[gasps]

♪ ♪

[all cheering]

What is taking Dad and Leo so long?

- Ow.

- I knew splitting up the Mad Dogs was a bonehead idea.

Leo probably talked his way

straight into Big Mama's dungeon.

- Ooh, the arena has never been this woozy-faddled.

- And now, entering the arena,

the all-time winning-est Battle Nexus Champion,

back and even hairier...

Rat Jitsu!

- Dad! Dad, Daddy!

Up here!

- Can someone tell my son I am not talking to him?

- You got this, pops. I love you.

- No!

- Remember, a deal's a deal.

- Of course, Big Mama never goes back on a deal.

She does, however,

alter the terms at the very last second.

- I'm sorry?

[groans] Not my odachi!

- One last wrinkly-doo.

You'll be fighting alongside your Papa.

But you still get my bauble if you win.

- An out-of-nowhere betrayal!

No!

[grunts]

- Oh, the old last second trap-door betrayal?

- Please, this was my plan all along.

- Just admit it already, son. You were played!

- How come nobody trusts me?

None of you guys have any faith in me, why?

- Uh...maybe...

this whole situation!

[all roaring]

- This whole situation was my plan all along.

If it wasn't, then why'd I ask your tailor

to make me this outfit?

- So we could both perish looking super fly?

- Or, so I could sneak this baby in...

- [gasps]

- [groans]

- To sneak this baby in.

My deal was no weapons for you, not me.

- Oh, big whoop.

They're still no match for Kraken-Tom and the Evil Six.

[all growling]

- Oh, h*, boy!

♪ ♪

If you would do the honors, Papa.

- [groans]

Hot soup!

[grunting]

[laughs] Still got it!

- [roars]

- Now grab the helmets, Daddy-o.

- Oh, is this one of those moments

I'm supposed to trust you?

- Bingo.

Time to get Kraken.

- [roars]

- [grunting] Whoa!

♪ ♪

- [roaring]

- Superhero landing.

One more helmet. - Wait, what?

Can we try a new plan?

- Yeah!

- h*--h*--h*, it's a knockout, folks!

[crowd cheering] - They love you, pops.

- [laughs] It was all you, my son.

- Silence.

- Just the spider I was coming to gloat to.

- I am not one to be outmaneuvered, my Turtley-Boo.

Well done. And now, a deal is a deal.

And as a sign of respect, I shall return

this Shredder beast to his prison dimension

if you catch him.

- Sweet.

Come on, pops, let's jet.

[thunder crashes]

- After inputting Shredder's previous coordinates

on the X, Y, Z and D for Donnie axes,

I have calculated that this is the site

of our final resting spot.

I mean, go team?

all: Huh?

[crackling]

- [gasps] - Oh, my muffins!

- You love us, you missed us. We're back, baby!

Rat Jitsu and Blue saving the day!

- It's about time.

We've been getting our butts kicked

after you left us high and dry.

- High and dry? Come on, dudes,

when I said, "You got this," I meant that.

Look, I bet the only reason we're right here right now

is 'cause Donnie inputted coordinates

of blah, blah, blah, blah. Mikey razzed his tazz.

April finally used her crane license.

And Raph is gonna put it all together in a plan

to defeat that lead-head with this mystic collar.

- Wow, Leo, that's remarkably accurate.

[thunder crashes]

He's back.

- [roars]

- Prepare for Operation Fire-Hanky-Tickle-Collar!

- Yeah!

- Leo, sure you can get that on him?

- Trust me.

- I do.

[dramatic music]

- [roaring]

Lure him in, Mikey. Flame on!

Okay, Donnie, the hanky!

- Donnie's on it. One small step for turtle kind!

- Boom!

Power Tickle Jitsu!

- [laughing]

- Leo, now!

- [shouts] [laughs]

♪ ♪

- My sons. - We rad.

- They will write scrolls about this one day.

- Oh, I'm sure they will.

all: Huh?

Perfectly fasmagoric.

You turtles are not to be trifled with.

- One tamed, no longer phasing,

scrap metal psycho ready for your disposal.

- You did your part, so I will do mine.

[upbeat music]

- Bam!

Back into his prison dimension,

never to be heard from again.

- Whoo! What an epic three days

of nonstop fighting!

[all snoring]

- I wish I could say it was a pleasure to see you again,

my sassy sugar badger.

- [gulps]

- [grunts]

- You fought valiantly, my huggie poo.

You really forced Big Mama to own up to her own deal.

Even if she did alter the terms at the last second.

[laughs menacingly]