03x08 - Rum 'n' Raisin

[bunniefuu]

And a-one,
two, three, four...

♪ Bong, bong, bong, bong ♪

♪ Bong, bong,
bong, bong ♪

♪ Bong, bong, bong, bong ♪

♪ Bong, bong, bong ♪

♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

Flashy, what's going on?
Are you with us or not?

Sorry, mate, yes. Sorry, Gene.

I am not doing this
for my own pleasure.

Well, we are paying you.

And I thank you.

Gene, I think he's still
a little bit off the note.

Eh?

A bit sharp.

Sorry, who are you?

Never mind who I am.

Tut, tut, tut, tut.

Fellas, all notes
come through me, huh?

Huh? Let's keep it civil.

Andre, we did discuss you
getting a haircut.

Andre, we did discuss you
getting a haircut.

Why don't you get a haircut?

- Quite hurtful.

And thank you, Damon.

One, two, three, four.

♪ Troll the ancient
yuletide carol ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la ♪

Still a bit sharp.

Oh, f*cking go, you c**t!

- I'll f*cking...

Whoa-h*!
What's all this, then, Bretty?

Oh, it's, uh,
my latest experiment.

- Oh, yeah?
- Rum and raisin.

Nice. What's it cost?

'Cause I didn't approve
any of it.

I-I-I just thought that...

It's not your little
brew lab anymore, mate.

This is a line item
on Uncle Jared's spreadsheet.

This is a line item
on Uncle Jared's spreadsheet.

Yes. Yes, sir.

Just f*cking with you, mate.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If anything, we've got
too much cash, if anything.

- Oh, yeah?

Have your g*y little
art project, mate.

But I will say,
dogs shouldn't have raisins,

and I'm dead serious about that.

Oi! Get out of it, mate.

- Not good! Drop it!

Get out of it!

Oh, for real?

Yeah, it's worse for them
than grapes, man.

- Oh, they can't have grapes?
- Yeah.

Worse for them than chocolate.

- Oh, they can't have chocolate?
- Pfft!

Mate, you're not exactly
Dr. Chris, Bondi Vet, are ya?

- Who's that?
- Yeah.

I love animals.

I love dogs that love you back
unconditionally.

Huh!

Do you know I'm divorced?

No one asks.

I'm a good dad.

Oh, you got kids?

My dad was the bad one.

He was a rotten bloke.

Work... Hard worker, though.
Hard worker.

Hard man, hard man.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I'm lonely.

I'm lonely.

It's all right to say that,
isn't it?

Yeah, nah. You're all right.

Do you reckon
this is all there is?

- Ah...
- I'll get these out for ya.

- Oh, no, no, it's all right.
- It's all right, good onya.

- No, no.
- Boys! Merry Christmas.

Just a little something
Uncle Jared's whipped up for ya.

- Eh?

No. I-I did that. That was me.

Oh, God.

Ohh.

- Whoo!

- Okay.

- Yeah.
- Yeah!

Yeah!

And cut!

- Okay.
- Show me?

Yeah, I think I did pretty good.

Oh, can... Yeah, can you just,
uh, loosen the frame a little?

Does it really matter?

Yeah, Ash. This is my work.

How is it your work?

I don't need your judgment.

What judgment?

Because I'm an influencer now.

Meggles, the only person
that you are influencing

Meggles, the only person
that you are influencing

is in your arms

and he mostly
sees you on your phone.

Oh, okay, Ash. We didn't all
get to become GPs, did we?

Some of us chose to be mums

and if I want to do
this one thing for myself,

then, sorry,
I think I should be able to.

Okay. Okay, I'm sorry.
Sorry, bubba.

You know what, it's fine,
I'll... I'll do it. Just go.

I've got stuff going on
right now too, you know.

Yeah.

That's not the way I need
to go. I'm going this way.

You don't wanna be late.

I don't, actually, 'cause
I have a start time to my job.

Yeah, a very important job.

♪ Tip-tap toes
on the workshop floor ♪

♪ Little green boots
by the snowy door ♪

♪ Santa checks lists
with a jolly grin... ♪

Alyssa.

♪ I wind my key
and the song begins ♪

- Ha-ha!

Do you think that
we could, um, pull back

on some of the Christmas
decorations a bit?

I love Christmas.

Yeah, I know you do.
It's just it's a lot.

- I'm allowed to.
- Okay.

- I'm allowed to.
- Okay.

Gordon f*ck' Crapp.

Really?

Is it not Christmas in here?

Excuse me?

No decorations.

Yeah, this is my space.

That's an unexpected
color on you.

Next time you need a flu shot
in summer, just book a nurse,

'cause you'll be charged
the full consultation for this.

Ash, I think we both know I'm
not really here for a flu shot.

Just lift up your sleeve.

No, no, no.
I wanted to say sorry in person.

Fine.

Ash, I don't need
a flu shot, seriously.

- Well, you're getting one.
- No, I don't.

Ash, I don't need it.

I don't need it. Ash! Ah!

f*cking hell! Ouch!

Oh, my God!

Sorry. Sorry about that.

Uh, hold this on it.

Ash, I was sh*t-faced, okay?

It didn't mean anything.
I barely remember it.

You may experience,
uh, minor side effects

such as pain, redness or
swelling at the injection site.

Ash, I had just spent the day
with my mum who...

Ash, I had just spent the day
with my mum who...

She has dementia.

And Heavy who is going through
a really full-on divorce.

I wasn't in a great headspace.

Well, rare serious side effects

like anaphylaxis may occur.

Ash, I'm sorry, okay?

When you came in and told me
that you were all in,

I just freaked out.

Sorry, wait.

Were you drunk
and it didn't mean anything?

Or were you freaked out
so you did it on purpose?

I'm trying to apologize.

Is that what you're doing?

'Cause it just sounds
like a list of excuses.

What part of "I'm sorry"
doesn't sound like an apology?

So, okay, great, you're sorry.
And that changes what happened?

No, it doesn't change
what happened.

No, it doesn't,
because what happened

was I told you I was all in.

All in, Gordon.

And then hours later,
you made out with Chiara.

That's what happened.

I know. I-I know.

Are you sorry
that you kissed her?

Like, are you really?
Or are you sorry that I saw it?

Of course I'm sorry
that it happened, okay?

But I was f*cking drunk.

Have you never got drunk
and done dumb sh*t before?

Yeah, f*ck, in my 20s.

I'm not doing it
in ten years' time.

Don't throw this back on me.
You know, I'm done here.

I've got nothing more to say.
Please leave.

Okay, this was a mistake.

Okay, this was a mistake.

Do you know, it never
actually occurred to me

that you two have been in love
with each other this whole time.

But, like,
now when I think of it,

it's actually
really f*cking obvious.

Ash, that's not f*cking true.

You're supposed to stay in
the waiting room for 15 minutes

to monitor
for adverse reactions,

but you can probably
just f*ck off.

Ash, please.

Thank you.

f*ck off.

Noelene didn't throw
anything away, did she?

Oh, look at you! My God!

You were the first male anorexic
in Turramurra. Ohh!

God, I was in good shape.

Hoo-hoo! The mother's lode.

The Hitachi Magic Wand.

It's a classic.
It's from the '60s.

- Oh, dear.
- Yeah.

Uh, no, no. They're... they're
fantastic. No batteries.

Uh, no, no. They're... they're
fantastic. No batteries.

You see, you just plug it
into the wall, away you go.

They did overheat, though,
after about...

Okay, Lee, that's enough.

Oh!

And, of course, she has the
original Rabbit. Boing-boing!

- Lee, do you need a time-out?
- Yeah.

- Hello?

In here, darling!

Oh, there she is.

Hey, how's it going?

Exterminate.

- Lee, no!

Uh, you said
she had something for me?

Oh! Yes.

A photo album of you growing up.

Why are you giving it to me?

Don't you want it?

Oh. Yes.

Stuart, you take it.

- Oh, I'm at sea, Lilibet.
- Ohhh!

I'll just put it in storage.

I don't like old photos!

They make me melancholy.

Ohhh! Look at me.

I was so thin.

I was 51 kilos
when we were married.

Okay, stop. I'll take it.

Good girl. Thank you. Sit down.

I'll put the kettle on.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, here we go. Ha!

Oh, no, I think
that's just a vase.

No, it's just a vase.

Oh, good. You're back.

Okay, I've got to go.

- What? Where?
- Soccer practice.

I'm guiding Bertie's shithouse
team into second-last place.

- You're coaching soccer?
- Yeah.

Ever since Coach Nathan
took a d*ck pic

and accidentally posted it
on a parents' WhatsApp thread.

- Ahh.
- It's quite a photogenic p*nis.

But other parents
didn't like it, so...

What's wrong?

I think it's over with Ash.

Ohh.

Oh, well.

Not meant to be.

- See ya.
- Sorry? Hang on, what?

Well, it... it, um... it doesn't
always work out, Gordy.

I just don't have time for this.

- Chi?
- Yeah.

Could you... I mean, you are
half responsible for this.

- Are you joking? What?
- No, I'm not joking.

Why... why the f*ck
did you kiss me? Why?

Grow up, Gordon.
We were both sh*t-faced, okay?

Grow up, Gordon.
We were both sh*t-faced, okay?

We were. And I pash people.
You know...

You've known me long enough.
I'm a pasher. That's my thing.

- Is it? Is that your thing?
- Yes, it is.

Could you call Ash and tell her
that that's your thing?

Are you serious?
Well, mate, she thinks

that we've been f*cking
this whole time,

or that you're in love with me
or something.

Are you in love with me?

I've been... I've been right
here the whole time, Gordy.

- How have you not seen it?
- What?

I'm just a woman...

- ..standing in front of a man.
- Okay.

Telling him
not to be so on himself.

- Okay.
- You are in love with yourself.

No, mate, I'm not.

This is why your relationships
don't work.

- You love yourself.
- No, mate.

- I don't know.
- Don't you?

No, I don't f*cking know.
I don't know.

I'm struggling, okay,
with neurodivergence

in an open, loveless marriage
and I'm generally lost.

And now I have
to go coach soccer.

I don't even like soccer.
And I don't know the rules!

I keep saying offside, offside.
I don't even know if it's true.

- You should not be coach.
- No.

You should hug me or something.

It's hard to hug a cactus,
but yes.

What Andre said.

Well, it's true, mate.

Well, inside, it's soft.

Yeah, all cactuses
are soft inside.

That's the whole metaphor.

Either way.
I've got to go to soccer!

Okay.

Bye!

Dad, I just don't know why
I blew up

this perfectly viable thing
I had with David

to lay it all out for Gordon,
who's just...

He's just not the guy for me.

Oh, darling, who cares?

So he pashed his bestie
at a drunk bucks.

That's a Tuesday for me.

Yeah, Dad, any wonder
why I keep choosing Peter Pans?

Dad, it just seemed like
it was meant to be,

me and Gordon,
like the way we met.

If I'd have been eight seconds
earlier or later,

we wouldn't have been there.

I wouldn't have flashed
my nipple.

What's that?

Go away!

Right you are.

And if I hadn't have done that,

you know,
he wouldn't have hit the dog.

It's like the butterfly
landing on the domino.

It's like the butterfly
landing on the domino.

It's... It just... It just
felt like it was meant to be.

And he messed it up.

And he just keeps messing it up.

Look, if it's meant to be,
then he can't mess it up.

As Mum used to say, what is
for you won't go past you.

She had a lot of wisdom...

..when she wasn't fudding
herself silly with sex toys.

Oh, hello!

Ahh! Mrs. Steinhart?

Ms. Steinhart.

I'm Detective Turner,
this is Detective O'Malley.

Has something happened?

Well, that's what
we're trying to determine.

Uh, I have you registered

as the head of the charity
known as W-A-W-A-M.

WAWAM. Women Against
Women Against Men.

Sure.

Uh, now there's been
some allegations,

uh, around your charity status
and, uh, misuse of donations.

Oh, dear. Ah!

"Oh, dear"?

Do you mind answering
a few questions?

Lee, the police are here!

Um, my husband,
Professor Lee Smellig,

um, he runs the day-to-day.

I'm just... I'm more
of the... the figurehead.

Lee, they want to talk to you!

I...

Uh, I didn't block
the signal, did I?

Sorry?

It's just...

I just wrapped tinfoil around it
because of the battery.

You see, it runs low and I
was just trying to conserve it.

What... Was that wrong?

We're not here about that, sir.

They're here about WAWAM.

Oh. Hmm.

Would you, um,
mind coming with us

and answering a few questions?

Yes, of course.

I'll just...
I'll just get my hat. Hmm.

Okay.

- Right.
- Oh.

- Go round the front.

- Come back here, you...
- Oh! Lee! Lee!

You're only making
things worse, Mr. Smellig.

It's Professor!

- Oh, what's he doing, Ash?

I don't know, Mum.

I think you've done
really well to get that far.

- Do you want a hand down?

Yes, please.

Coming down.
That was just the warm-up.

- Oh, Gordo!
- Yeah?

Carmen, this is Gordon.

You're... real?

You're really...

You're Carmen?

Oh, my goodness!

Hi! Oh, my...

You're exactly
how Brett described you.

Same.
Thank you for giving Brett

the money to fly me here
so we can meet.

I mean, it's really,
it's nothing.

It's, uh... It was an advance,
anyway, so it's nothing.

It's not nothing,
it's something.

- Well...
- You're a miracle.

- I'm hardly a miracle.
- No, you are.

- I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

Okay.

- You believed in us.
- Yeah.

You believe in love.

Yeah.

Your girlfriend is very lucky.

I... I don't really have
a girlfriend, but...

Oh, well, you need to fix that.

Oh, well, you need to fix that.

Yeah, I mean, I'll... I'll try.

- Listen to me.
- Yep.

Fix it.

Uh, I will try.

Shh!
You deserve to be happy.

Okay.

Okay.

Where is the bathroom?

- I need to freshen up.
- Yep.

Just through there,
mahal.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! She's the one.

- She's amazing!
- I know, right?

- Oh, man.
- Yeah.

- I hate to kiss and tell.
- No, go on.

But what we just did
in the car park...

- What?
- Just then.

- Really?
- Ooh!

- Yeah?

- Hand job?
- Both hands.

With those hands
that were just on my...

Oh.

Sorry, bro.

It's all right. I...

- No, we didn't do anything.
- No, we...

No, we didn't do anything,
but...

Oh, we kind of...

- We haven't done anything.
- This is th...

- It's a f*ck'...

- Oh!
- And that's what happens.

- Sorry, bro.

- And now Colin's scared.
- Sorry, Colin.

- Clean that up.
- Oh, yeah.

I'm happy... I'm happy for you.
She's amazing.

- Yeah.
- I just...

- Yeah.
- I just...

Sor... Sorry.

It wasn't my intention
at the time.

- Oh, my God.

- Meggles, are you okay?

I locked myself out.

Babe, no!

Yeah. Everything's inside.

- Mummy!
- We've been out here for hours.

- Come on.
- Actually, Ash.

Could you just,
like, get your phone

and then just film coming
around the corner, find us

and it'll just be like a "Oh, we
have bad days too" kinda thing?

- Just for TikTok.
- No, mate.

Give me this last one
and then I'm done. I promise.

No.

Yep.

- Come inside.
- You're right.

I love him,
but I don't...

I don't really know what
everyone is talking about

because I know you're not
supposed to say this

but he's... he's not
everything to me.

All these mums I see online,

they talk about this,
like, magical connection.

It's like soulmates, like
best friends, and I don't...

It's like soulmates, like
best friends, and I don't...

- I think that's bullshit.
- Yeah.

Get off the 'Gram. Get off it.

Mmm.

- It's making you crazy.
- I know.

I think I want to finish med
school. Like, I miss my brain.

Yes!

Oh, my God.

It is a crime that I'm out there
practicing medicine

and you're making content.

Exactly.

And lunchboxes
in a rainbow formation.

Because I am way smarter
than you.

That's what I'm saying.

Right? Like, next to me,
you're kind of a dummy.

Okay, mate. Hmm!
I'm still the f*cking doctor.

Yeah, you're a doctor,
but, oh, my God, look at you.

You're always... You're so cute.

Gordon came in today.
Oh, my God!

He was trying to apologize.
I was filthy with him.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

Holy sh*t. Stop!

What's happening?

This photo of you
with Santa?

Yeah, see? They don't let kids
sit on their lap anymore.

Look at the boy elf!

Look at the boy elf!

Why?

Look at his face.

No.

- Yes.
- No!

- It is.
- Noooo!

It is! Look at him!

That's impossible.

That is 100% Gordon Keith Crapp.

It is him, isn't it? Oh, my God!

- Look.

Oh.

I've kept all the receipts.

Your name is in the clear.

It's all just a... a bit
of a... a storm in a teacup.

- Is it?
- Mm-mm.

It's just...

It's so hard
navigating the complexities

of the tax office.

I mean, what's a deduction?

What's a charity? Right?

I mean, they... they make it
confusing on purpose.

I mean, they... they make it
confusing on purpose.

- Do they?
- Mm-hm.

So, don't worry, darling.
It'll all be fine.

Pinkie swear?

Oh, Lee.

I turned a blind eye
to the Korean student.

And I turned a blind eye to the
nude photography, to so much.

But I am not blind, Lee.

I see what you are.

You're dirt.

Uh...

And I'm a diamond.

Goodbye, Lee.

Don't drop the soap.

Lyn...

Lynelle!

Chiara...

Don't get up.

- Alyssa?
- Um, yes?

I'm gonna need you to
spend a little more time

sending me my patient list
for the day

and a little less time on
the Christmas f*cking froufrou.

Um, obviously I didn't realize

that that was filled
with baubles, so... sorry.

Sorry. Sorry.

Let's go.

♪ Instrumental version
of "Jingle Bells" ♪

Okay, what do you want?

Well, not a flu shot.

I'm still on the fence
about autism and sh*t.

It's been disproven
so many times.

Okay, Ash.

It... it was my fault.
I kissed him.

I mean, we were both sh*t-faced,
but I let it.

And I don't know why I did it.
I just felt like it.

I mean, since Andre and I
have been open,

I mean, since Andre and I
have been open,

my impulse control
has been in the shitter.

What I'm trying to say
is that I...

..I'm the f*ck-up and
I need to quit the f*cking bar

and I need to do something else
with my life.

I'm clearly having
a midlife crisis.

I mean, maybe
I should just Eat Pray Love it

and f*ck an Indian guy.

I don't think
she f*ck an Indian guy.

I didn't finish the book,
but she got to the ashram.

That's where I got to
and I assumed that that's... No?

Maybe you should finish
a book sometime.

That's good advice.
Yep, that would be...

Do you love him?

No, Ash.

He's Gordon. He's so annoying.

Right.

But I think he loves you.

I mean, you should have seen him
three years ago.

He was properly broken.

And maybe he's self-sabotaging
because of that.

But please don't let me

or this f*cking stupid thing
get in the way.

I'm an idiot.

I appreciate you saying that.

- You're welcome.
- I didn't say thank you.

Appreciate/thank you.
It's just the same thing.

Appreciate/thank you.
It's just the same thing.

- No, it isn't.
- Not in this case. Nah.

- Hey...
- Hmm?

Do you think that that's Gordon?

Definitely.

Do you believe in fate?

f*ck, no.
I'm just too controlling.

Also I think fate's
what people believe in

when they don't want to make
decisions for themselves.

Hmm.

I'm just gonna...

Whoa! Okay.

- They're for kids.
- Yep.

The hit was a bit much. Sorry.

No. It's... Now we're even.

No, we're not.

Have a green one.

So, what do you think, Gene?

You know
I'd do anything for you.

- Yeah.
- You do know that, don't you?

I do. Of course.

I just don't know if the others

are going to be available.

Right. Do we need everybody
to do that song?

Right. Do we need everybody
to do that song?

Oh... is Jared free?

You talk about Jared a lot.

- Gordon!
- What?

It's Colin.
He got into the raisins.

- What?
- He doesn't look good, bro.

- What?
- Come on.

I don't know how many he's eaten
but he doesn't look great.

Well, has he thrown up?

No, I tried to make him vomit.

That was f*cking horrible.

Anyway, I'm rushing him
to a vet now.

Which vet? I'll meet you there.

Okay.

So I've administered apomorphine

to induce vomiting, but nothing.

So I would say the raisins
are in his system.

Nine times out of ten,
it's fine,

but we need to monitor his
vitals and his kidney function.

I'm going to need to have him
for at least 24 hours,

and if anything gets any worse,

we're going to have to have
another conversation.

Jesus.

Is... is there a way
you can, like,

cut the raisins
straight out of his tummy?

- Oh, like a C-section?
- Yeah.

Ah! Are you a vet now, Gordon?

- No.

I'm a doctor, though, and I knew
that you can't do that.

I'm a doctor, though, and I knew
that you can't do that.

And I realize now saying it out
loud, it was silly. I'm sorry.

- I'm just thinking about...
- Anyway...

- Hm.
- Yeah.

I was very surprised
to see you here.

Well, yeah, there were...

I've tried three other places
in the area,

but this is the only one
with Christmas hours.

No, I meant together.
I heard that you broke up.

Oh, no, we did, but, hm, yeah.

What happened to the redhead?

- It's complicated.
- Yep.

Oh, it's so funny. It's like
nothing's changed in four years.

- Hmm.
- Still "Will they? Won't they?"

Who cares? Still endangering
your dog's life.

No.

It's actually quite funny to me.

- Is it?
- Yes!

Because I'm totally different.

I've got two kids now, a boy
and a girl, James and Jamie.

And Micah and I
are really good together.

Like, really good.

- We're really good!
- Oh.

So strong.
You know, really in sync.

I mean, he's the man
that I've always wanted.

He's the man that I deserve.

He is man enough
to take all of me.

And, I mean, all of me, Gordon.

Why are you telling me this?

Because I've always wanted to,

Because I've always wanted to,

you stupid, sh*t-faced,
big-d*ck loser!

This is actually really
satisfying for me

because I've practiced
this conversation

so many times in the shower.

That's why it's so eloquent.

- It really is.
- Yep.

Good job, girl.

Do you feel better?

No, I don't.

Are you okay?

Ohh, not really, Gordon.

I mean, I'm still mad
about the Chiara thing.

I'm worried that
our dog's gonna die

and I don't even know if
he's our dog or just your dog.

And I hate that.

And I'm confused because

I don't believe in fate
and all that sh*t.

But yesterday, I found a photo

that, like, made me feel like
we're supposed to be together.

But are we? I mean...

I'm a doctor.
I don't believe in magic.

So what the f*ck am I
supposed to do...

..with this?

Is this you?

Yeah.

And you.

- Oh, my God.
- What are the odds of that?

- I mean, that's...
- Oh, sh*t.

Yeah. It's gotta be,
like, a sign. Right?

- Uh...
- We probably talked that day.

- So...
- This... this isn't me.

Yes, it is.

No, it's not.
I... I understand now.

It would be incredible
if it were me, but it's not me.

- It is, isn't it?
- No.

I never worked as an elf.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

I don't remember
everything that... I did.

I never did... did this.

I'm sorry, Ash.

Are you?

Yeah.

Sorry to
keep you waiting.

Did... did you want to pay?

Yeah.

And what card
would you like to use?

And what card
would you like to use?

Um, I think
I still have the card on file.

And you are...?

Gordon Crapp.
Don't you remember?

Please calm down.

I see a lot of highly emotional
pet owners every day

and I can't remember them all.

I'm not highly emotional.

Well, now you've interrupted me!

And... Ow!

And a*usive behavior
will not be tolerated.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. It's okay.
There's no problem.

Someone ran up the back
of my Camry this morning

and the last thing I need
is to be verbally assaulted...

- Sorry about your car.
- ..by you.

Just the card on file.
Gordon Crapp. Let's go.

Yeah, okay, I'll look for it.

Every time with you. Every time.

What are you doing now?

Uh... I don't know.

Might put on some heavy boots.
Go for a swim.

Sounds dangerous.

Yeah, I hope so.

Oh, okay.

Well, before you do that,

um, do you want to come with me
to the brewery?

There's something I want
to show you that's there.

Did you poison our dog
to get me in your car?

Did you poison our dog
to get me in your car?

I actually kissed Chiara to
set in motion a chain of events

to ultimately get you
in my car, yeah.

- Too soon.

Wow. This is cute.

- No, there's more than this.
- It's a lot.

Wow! You really love Christmas.

Yeah. It's so weird
that you don't.

- Christmas hurt me.
- Okay.

All right. Stand here.
Here, give me this.

There you go.
Okay, go here. Stand there.

- Why?
- Because...

- You ready?
- For what?

What is...

- Okay.
- Oh, God.

Why?

Because you're so grinchy.

And, honestly,
I just wanted to look at you

with snow falling
all around you.

- Ash...
- Don't propose again.

No, I'm not. Shut up. Sorry.

- Okay.
- Relax.

I don't believe in fate either.

But when you showed me
that photo...

- You said it wasn't you.
- No, it's not me.

Don't interrupt.
I'm doing a speech.

Sorry. Yeah.

When you showed me that photo,
you... you wanted it to be me.

And I wanted it to be me.

Because it's so comforting
to think

that the universe has a plan.

But it doesn't.

It doesn't, does it?

Nah.

We don't need an excuse
to be together.

I choose you.

And I chose you three years ago.

And I somehow let that
all get away from me.

And I'm...
I'm not gonna do that again.

Would you like to step about
the town with me...

..again, but properly this time?

I'd love to.

Me too.

Great. Kiss now?

- I'd bloody love that.
- Mm-hm.

- I'd bloody love that.
- Mm-hm.

- What was that?

- I tried holding it back.
- Gene?

- Hello, Ashley.
- What...?

So you still wanna
go through with this?

Yeah, f*ck,
we might as well now.

- Come on, boys.
- Oh!

Ta-da! It's the Man Choir.

Is that why you were texting
so much in the car?

Yes, I'm sorry about that.

Please don't do
a Christmas carol.

No, it's not. It's specifically
for you. Stand over there.

Stop telling me where to stand.

- Just stand there.
- Okay.

- Oh.

One, two, three, and...

♪ Ba-da-da, ba-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-da-da-da-da, ba-ba-ba ♪

♪ Ba-da-da, ba-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-da-da-da-da, ba-ba-ba ♪

♪ Hey, I got a lot
of faith in ya ♪

♪ I'll stick with you, kid,
that's the bottom line ♪

♪ Yeah, ya have a lot of fun,
don't ya? ♪

♪ Living with you
is a ball of a time ♪

♪ Hey, beauty,
when the mood gets you down ♪

♪ Hey, beauty,
when the mood gets you down ♪

♪ Your bottom lip's near
dragging on the ground ♪

♪ That's when I gotta
play the clown for you ♪

♪ Black humor made you
kick your blues ♪

♪ Howdy, angel, oooh ♪

♪ Where did you hide
your wings? ♪

- ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba... ♪

♪ Her love shines
over my horizon ♪

♪ She's a slice of heaven... ♪

- Hello, Mr. Crapp?
- Shh, shh, shh.

Dr. Yvette has asked
if you can come back in here

as soon as you can.

- Is he okay?
- How soon can you be here?

Yep, we can be there
in five minutes.

Oh, no.

Hey.

- Is he okay?

I'm so sorry about this.

Oh, no.

Oh, f*ck' hell.

Oh, Colly.

Is...

Can we see him?

Of course.

Lisa? They'd like to see him.

Lisa? They'd like to see him.

Colly!

He's okay!

He's okay?

Yes, he's fine.

Sorry, was that not clear?

Not at all.

Lisa, you told them he was okay?

Mm-hm. Yeah, I told him. Yeah.

Okay, well, his kidney function
is normal

and I could have
monitored him overnight,

but it's Christmas
and I've got two kids now.

Did I mention that?

Why did you say sorry just then
when we came in?

- Did I say that?
- Yes.

Oh. Sorry. Oh! I did it again.

No, no, I just meant
for rushing you to come back

because we're closing early
for Christmas.

The kids love Christmas.

And I've got two of them,
so... eeh!

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Do you want to take him home?
- Yeah.

- Anyway, merry Christmas.
- Okay.

- How would you like to pay?
- Card on file.

- He's okay.
- He is.

- He's okay, Gordy.
- Yes.

- Oh, my God.
- Ohh.

You gave us a fright.

Oh, my God.

♪ Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds'
"Into My Arms" ♪

♪ I don't believe in ♪

♪ An interventionist God ♪

♪ But I know, darling,
that you do... ♪

Ooh! So sorry. Sorry.

You go.

Yeah, good. Sorry.

♪ But if I did,
I would kneel down and ask Him ♪

♪ Not to intervene
when it came to you ♪

♪ Not to intervene
when it came to you ♪

♪ Well, not to touch a hair
on your head ♪

♪ Leave you as you are ♪

♪ And if He felt
He had to direct you ♪

♪ Then direct you into my arms ♪

♪ Into my arms ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Into my arms ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Into my arms ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Into my arms... ♪

Come on, Colin.

♪ And I don't believe
in the existence of angels ♪

♪ But looking at you ♪

♪ I wonder if that's true ♪

♪ But if I did,
I would summon them together ♪

♪ And ask them
to watch over you ♪

♪ Well, to each
burn a candle for you ♪

♪ To make bright and clear
your path ♪

♪ And to walk like Christ ♪

♪ In grace and love ♪

♪ And guide you into my arms ♪

♪ Into my arms ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Into my arms ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Into
my arms ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Into my arms ♪