06x05 - Fixes

[bunniefuu]

HE SIGHS

Go, dogs, go!

He's coming, he's coming!

DOG BARKS

There you go. Have you got it?

Morning! Here you go, Uncle Tris.
Jimmy's made you a lovely egg.

Ooh, what a delicious-looking
soft-boiled egg.

I can't wait to taste it.

Ah...

You tricked me, you little rascal!

Are you on kitchen duty?

You'll be giving your ma tips
when she gets back from London.

He's been a wonderful helper.
I bet he has!

Thanks again for looking after him
this week.

I'm not sure his grandad
would have managed so well.

It's lovely having you both here.
I only wish it were permanent.

Unfortunately, Helen may still have
one or two reservations about that.

But with Jenny gone,
and Mrs H here...

She knows I'll always look after
Jimmy and Rosie, don't she?

Aye, she does.
I think she just worries

that someone else always
has to be the centre of attention.

Jimmy! Got a challenging one.
Who on earth could she mean?

Er, what's this?

Oh, I've been teaching him
to identify spoor. Spoor?

You mean...
JIMMY: Animal poo!

MEN CHUCKLE

Don't worry, I won't bring it
anywhere near the table.

Come along, Jimmy.
Have you seen my glasses?

I hate it when he's in a good mood.

It's like being licked
by a shorthorn!

It's rather sweet.

I'd say a diet of pine cones.
What do you think?

Siegfried, d'you have a minute?

Run along, Jimmy, see if you
can identify it from the chart.

I must say, I'm rather enjoying
having him back. And you, of course.

When Helen comes home from London,
it'll be just like old times.

Being back here full time's given me
a chance to go over the books.

Damn glasses... We're in
a worse mess than I thought.

Is this going to be dreary?

I don't think you realise
how bad it actually is.

How much business
we've lost recently.

If you lived here permanently,

instead of running back and forth
to Heston,

we might have a chance
of turning this thing around.

I don't think that is the problem.
We're way into the red.

I don't know how we'll pay Mrs H
this week, never mind anyone else.

We have a new Prime Minister,
in case you hadn't noticed.

Mr Attlee is providing food for all,

health care for all,
and houses for all.

Look, I found this. It's from
the dog track at Hensfield.

They need an attending vet urgently.
Have you done anything about it?

I should think not.

It's cash in hand!
Exactly what we need right now.

I walked away from a similar job
in Ripon, if you remember.

I didn't like the way the horses
came second to the money.

I suspect whippets will be
even less of a priority.

I've trained at greyhound tracks,
I've seen the dogs well cared for.

The National Greyhound
Racing Club is one thing,

and an unlicensed flapping track
is quite another. A-ha!

More the reason to have
a decent vet there.

Besides which,
we don't have the luxury of choice.

I'm sorry.
I want nothing to do with it.

JIMMY: Is it badger?

No. Badger is altogether muskier
and less well-formed.

SIEGFRIED CHUCKLES

Let me have a look
at your chart, Jimmy.

I thought you were going to draw
a rabbit?

Oh, that is a rabbit.
Uncle Siegfried!

Come on.
Veterinary!

Thank you, young fella!

Want your car minding, mister?

Aye, all right.

BEEPS HORN

I says to him,
if you think t'dog's got it bad,

tha wants to take a look at my gout.

Eh?
Mr Coker?

Never heard of him.

James Herriot.
I'm here about the...

Ah, veterinary! Thank God for that.

Right, see you later, Stan.

Ah, I'm ever so grateful,
Mr Herriot, I really am.

You've got me out of
a tight spot here, you have.

I'm sorry I wasn't in touch earlier.
Your letter...

It's not that you can't find a vet.
I mean, vets are two a penny.

I mean, good vets, though,
that's different.

I suppose good vets are busy.

Aye. Daytime meetings don't help.

How you're supposed to run a track
when half your customers

were at w*r and the other half
were at work, I don't know.

I heard a lot of tracks
have closed down.

It's not easy, Mr Herriot, let
me tell you. It's not easy at all.

But I don't do it for t'money.
I do it for t'lads.

It's the only bit of pleasure
they get, some of 'em.

And none of that happens
without you.

Most important man on t'track,
the veterinary.

That's nice to hear.

You've got your certification,
have you?

Yes, and my references from...
Ah, we'll do that later.

Don't you worry about that.
We've got to get you started.

Sorry? Do you mean to say
I've got the job?

I thought this was just...

No, listen, you're the right sort,
Mr Herriot.

I can tell by looking at you.
I don't have my vet bag.

You're all I've got.
Can't race without you.

Well, thank you, Mr Coker.

Morning, Bert!
Morning!

Ah, Mrs Ainsley?

Thank goodness you're here,
Mr Farnon. We are beside ourselves.

RECORDER PLAYS

Hello, kids.
BOTH: Hello, Mr Farnon.

Hey, I'm so sorry
we couldn't bring him to you.

Just some days,
he won't let you near.

PARROT WHISTLES
He likes music.

Well, we think.

Hello, George.

Me and our Lucy, we made the toys.

We wanted to make it feel
like a forest.

And Bobby here,
you drew the pictures, didn't you?

Oh, let's have a look. Wow!
Well, he's a very lucky parrot.

Let's have a look.
Watch yourself with him.

Oh, don't worry, I've got
a special rapport with birds.

Here we go. Ah!
SQUAWKING

He didn't mean it!

See, this is what he's like.

We haven't had him very long,
but we love him to bits, don't we?

Problem is, he doesn't
seem to like us very much.

GEORGE: Silly arse.
KIDS LAUGH

Did he just say...?
Yes.

And I tell you what,
he says it like he means it.

Silly arse. Silly arse.

We do everything we can
to make him happy. I...

I don't know
if it's him or if it's us.

He's lost a few feathers there.

Ah, yes. He's started picking.

It's like he's that angry,

he'll take it out on anything,
even himself.

How's his appetite?
He's not really eating.

Droppings?
He's got the trots.

Bobby!
Right.

Well, parrots
are difficult to diagnose,

but it's possible
it could be psittacosis.

Sitterco...?

It's an infectious disease,
very common in parrots.

It can lie dormant for
a very long time, with no symptoms,

until it begins to cause
the bird distress,

which could account
for these behaviours.

Oh, George.

Unfortunately,
it can be transferred to humans.

That being the case...

I will have to take him with me
for further observation,

just until I'm sure.

You can't take George.
This is where he lives.

Look, it won't be for long.

The vet just needs
to check him over, and then...

well, he'll give him some medicine,
won't you, Mr Farnon?

Well, we'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.

Can we help you carry him?
Oh, no, don't worry.

He's in safe hands with me.
GEORGE: Arse!

Good lad. Thank you.
Which dog's next for inspection?

Blackpool Rock. He's sweet.
But he's hard as nails.

There we are, lad.

All right, lad. There we go.

DOG WHIMPERS

Has this dog been fed
within the last hour or two?

Nothing since breakfast.

I can feel a full stomach.

Can't have. He's had nowt.

If you want me to check,
I can vomit him.

I've got washing soda in the car.

I don't want you messing
with my dog.

Then I'm sorry, I'll have
to take him out of the race.

Listen, Mr...
Herriot.

I'm Willie Stockwell, Mr Herriot.
Ask anyone about me.

I've trained dogs all my life.

They are my life.
And I train winners.

When they come in, it might not
mean much to anyone else,

but to me, it's everything.

And Blackpool Rock's the favourite.

So I don't like
what you're suggesting.

Yes, but still his stom...
When I were in Africa,

a couple of the lads, they carried
a picture of their sweetheart.

I carried two.
My family and my dogs.

You served in Africa?

I did my bit.

I was discharged as well. RAF.

So you must know why I need this.

You must know it's about pride.
That's the truth, Mr Herriot.

Problem?

No problem. Good lad.

SIEGFRIED: Congratulations,

you've finally made it back with
a bird that hasn't dropped dead.

Yes, well, if it is psittacosis,
it's only a matter of time.

The feather plucking is a concern.

As is the loss of appetite.

The trots.
Mm-hm.

Characteristic green hue?
No, not that I've seen.

But of course, psittacosis can
present without all of the symptoms.

Silly arse.

It's wonderful to see the bond
you've built up with him.

Oh, yes,
he's an absolute charmer [!]

Has he been in contact
with other birds? I don't think so.

But the infection
can lay dormant for years.

He may have caught it
from his flock.

Do the owners know it's fatal?

I couldn't see the point in
telling them before we're even sure.

They obviously dote on him.
SQUAWKS

Heaven knows why.

Right, let's send a sample
for testing.

In the meantime, strict quarantine.

And you'll need to keep
a close eye on him

in case further symptoms develop.

Yes, I was thinking, erm...
perhaps we could swap duties.

As you know,
birds seem to take against me.

And, erm, well... I've got this
dinner with Charlotte later, so...

You brought him in.
He's your responsibility.

GEORGE TRILLS

Who has the incontinence problem?

Thank you, Mrs Wellings.
It's a cat I'm looking for.

Mrs Hall... we have a parrot
in strict quarantine.

Please make sure Jimmy stays away
from examination room two.

Right you are. Thought I might take
him out for a picnic tea anyway.

Oh, I rather thought I might
look after him when I finished here.

He's excited about going
on a hunt for fox droppings.

How can I compete?
I don't mean to spoil your plans.

It were just an idea.
I've plenty to be getting on with.

Perhaps if he's not too late
going to bed,

there might be time for cribbage?

It's not my favourite, cribbage.

Well, er,
to make it more interesting,

we could always try a variation.

I thought backwards might be fun.

Oh, I've never tried it that way.

You simply do everything
the opposite way round.

The winner is the person
who finishes last.

I think it might be quite jolly.

Certainly sounds it.

I'll have the cards ready.
SQUAWKING

What are you doing
to that bird, man?

TRISTAN: All in hand!

Is number one fit, vet?

I wouldn't have passed him
if he wasn't.

CHEERING

MAN 1: Eh, what happened to
Blackpool Rock?

MAN 2: Just never got going, did he?
Bookies did all right.

I want to examine that dog again.
He's done his race.

I saw. How many bowls of breadcrumbs
and milk did you give him?

He had an off day, it happens.

You said he was a winner.
He is.

Just not today. Look, if he ran with
a full stomach, he could have bloat.

Now, that can lead
to serious complications.

What's all this then, eh?
I believe this dog has been overfed.

Now, I gave him the benefit
of the doubt... This dog?

No, no, I wouldn't have thought so,
Mr Herriot, no.

Well, it's my professional opinion.

No, I can vouch for Willie here.
He's a good lad.

I wouldn't hurt my dog.

Then there's no problem
if I re-examine him, is there?

You're needed elsewhere.
Emergency. What emergency?

Got an injury I need you to look at.

It's Ambrose here.
He's had a nasty fall.

I'm a vet, not a doctor!

Well, we don't have a doctor,
Mr Herriot.

You can patch him up, can't you?

I don't want him
getting blood poisoning.

What'd happen to my bar takings
then, Ambrose, eh?

Get him on that seat there.

All right...

HE SLURS
Catch him!

I've got him, I've got him.

Right, let's have a look.

HE GRUNTS AND GROANS

You've knocked a bit of skin off,
that's all. It needs cleaning.

You like whisky, do you?
Aye, that'll do, aye.

MAN GROANS
Oh, you...!

What you trying to do, k*ll me?

I bet you don't get
this much trouble from the animals!

Here.

To what do I owe this honour?

I come bearing feeble apologies
and flimsy excuses.

You really know how
to sweep a girl off her feet.

Do you want your father running me
off the grounds with a pitchfork?

Well, if you'd like me to stop...
Oh, how painful can a pitchfork be?

Hang on,
what was that about excuses?

Yes, dinner tonight.
There's a small problem.

I say small, it's about that size.
Name of George.

And why is George getting in the way
of our social calendar?

Because he's literally as sick as a
parrot and I'm obliged to watch him.

It was all I could do
to get away for half an hour.

Well, if you're stuck at home,
I could always come to you.

Erm... the parrot and me, we have
a special one-to-one relationship.

He might get jealous.
SHE GIGGLES

I'd like to come.

You've met my family lots of times.
When am I going to meet yours?

You've met Siegfried. Yes, and if
that hasn't put me off, what will?

The parrot's actually
very infectious.

It's probably not a good idea.

I see.

Well, I'll tell the kitchen.
Don't let me keep you from George.

Maggie. And Albert. Hello!

Hello!
Sorry to bother you.

Erm, you don't happen
to have a dartboard, do you?

I'm sure Tris mentioned once
that he used to play in the kitchen.

Well, you know what? I think I
might just have an idea where it is.

Come on.

It's for a fundraiser
at the Drovers.

Women's Voluntary Services.

Score a bullseye, get a prize.
Oh!

You'd think we'd have
a board at the pub, wouldn't you?

So, you're doing WVS, are you?

It's still needed. w*r's not over.
Not everyone's on their way home.

Any news from Arthur?

All we know is he's in a camp.
Burma.

Not had a letter in months.

I'm not entirely sure he was
totally honest in it either.

They say Japan's on the back foot.

I'm sure he'll be home
before you know it.

Here we go.

Oh, you're all set up!

I find it very good
for taking out my frustrations.

All right? Mind out, Albert.

Mrs Hall! Where did you learn
to play like that?

Sunderland.

My Edward's Betty likes a game
of darts.

She's taught me quite well.
Quite well?!

Makes Edward mad he can't beat me.

It were good fun, that.

Why don't you come down
to The Drovers tonight?

You'll clean up, you will.
Oh...

I would, but...
I promised Mr Farnon a game.

We've a long night of cribbage
to look forward to.

Cribbage?
Perhaps I do...

occasionally wonder if we might
expand our horizons...

just a little bit.

Well, ask him, then! It's not just
about what he wants, is it?

Pretty boy. Say "pretty boy".

Pretty, pretty boy!

Silly arse.
Oh, bugger!

I told you strict quarantine,
and here you are up close.

Well, he's not worsening.

I'm beginning to doubt
it is psittacosis.

I've been trying to train him
so he's a little more polite

while he's staying here with us.

On what are you basing
your diagnosis?

No swelling around the eyes,
no discharge.

And, no, the droppings aren't green.

I thought perhaps it might be
diet-related,

but I didn't see
any potential toxins.

No house plants or anything
he might be nibbling on.

All right. I think we can assume
he's not contagious.

But you'd better continue
your observations regardless

until we do know
what's wrong with him.

Silly arse!

You're not making this easy
on either of us, George.

Are you going to behave or not?

Bugger!

WHISTLES
Bugger!

TRISTAN SIGHS

Good boy.

Can I just clarify, I am here
for the wellbeing of the dogs?

Well, it's not for t'wellbeing
of my bank balance, I know that.

I should have taken that dog out
of the race. That was my mistake.

But it should have been re-examined.

I'd have thought that was
more important than Ambrose's knee.

I'm sure there were nowt
to worry about.

Isn't that for me to decide?

Mr Herriot,
it's not t'Greyhound Derby.

It's a bit of enjoyment,
that's all it is.

And God knows we all need that
at the moment, don't we?

Yes, but... Now we wouldn't want
to mess that up, would we?

Times is hard for everybody,
Mr Herriot.

Even a busy vet like yourself,
I shouldn't wonder.

JIMMY HUMS

Wait outside, Jimmy, I'm coming.

Wilco.

Off to the woods again.
He'll sleep tonight.

You both will.

See, this is what
I don't understand.

Being here is good for the children.
It's good for Helen.

But James won't have it.

He must have his reasons.

He's plain stubborn is what it is.
Selfish, in fact.

Uncle Siegfried!
Coming!

Seeing as you're run ragged...

why don't we leave
backwards cribbage tonight?

Maybe go to The Drovers
for a change.

I were talking to Maggie, and
she fancies a little game of darts.

Darts?
I'm actually quite good.

I spend most of my day

inserting needles
with varying degrees of accuracy,

I'd rather not do it
in my spare time.

No, cribbage it is.

JESS BARKS
Not today, Jess.

Thank you, veterinary.
Thank you.

MAN: All in all,
we've had a good day.

Little sweetener for you.

This is for you.
Ah, thank you very much.

Very good. Thank you very much.
Have a good evening.

Excuse me.

Excuse me!
See you tomorrow, veterinary.

Oh! I've just about had it
with that jumped-up pigeon.

I don't suppose you'd watch him

while I grab a swift half
at The Drovers?

Sorry. I've got calls to make
before I go to the dogs.

If I wasn't parrot-sitting,
I'd come with you.

Well, I could use with the support.

It's not like
I don't know the tricks,

but it's the first course
I've worked at

where management turn a blind eye.

What tricks are these?

Dogs that run like they've had one
of your Sunday dinners, Mrs H.

What, they're being slowed down?

Yes, it's called stopping a dog.

Making them lose deliberately
so their odds jump up. I see.

Then the next race, it runs normally
and they're quids in?

And who cares about the dog?

People have a way
of putting thoughts like that

out of their heads
when there's money at stake.

Well, I won't be hoodwinked again.

That goes double for the owner
I had trouble with last time.

His dog's running today?
Aye, in the six o'clock.

And if he tries the same trick
again, he's out.

I don't care what anyone says.

The Rover looks like
it's had a mud bath.

I'd have thought
you'd take better care of it.

I'll wash the car, Siegfried,
don't worry.

You never told me
how it went at Hensfield.

It went fine.
And you're going back, are you?

I have to go back, don't I?

Perhaps Mr Farnon could go with you?

I'm sure you could use
the benefit of his experience.

I thought it went fine?

A little help would be very welcome.

I've made my feelings clear,
I don't want to be involved.

You can hardly say
I didn't warn you.

Right. Thanks so much [!]

SIGHS

Don't you have a bird to attend to?

SIGHS

Some fresh tea would be lovely,
Mrs Hall, if you have a moment?

WHISTLING

Silly arse. Silly arse.

Oh, come on, I'm the one
who let you out of that cage!

GEORGE SQUAWKS
What is wrong with you?

You're so lucky.
Everyone loves you.

Why do you have to be like this?

GEORGE TALKS
GOBBLEDYGOOK

Silly arse.

Oh! Where did you even learn that?

WHISTLES

Actually...

..where DID you learn that?

Veterinary.

"Mud bath"!

Unbelievable.

Mister, won't you...

Don't even think about
touching that car.

SIGHS

Mr Coker.

Never heard of 'im.

I want a room where I can treat
the animals if required.

I want to meet the judges
and the officials.

Now, listen here...
If you want a vet, you get a vet.

How's that?

Now, that is a good rabbit!

You see,
it's all in the number of ears.

You're becoming quite the artist.
Yes!

I wish I lived here all the time.

Yes, well, your father likes
being over at the farm for now,

so that's the way things are.

It's not my dad. It's Mum.

She said she's not coming back
cos you're a shellfish.

"Shellfish."

Hm.

What's a shellfish?

It'll do.

Mr Coker?

Key?

MAN ON PA SYSTEM:
'Attending vet to dog area

'for inspection
for the six o'clock race.'

You'll find no problems.
Tonight's the night he wins, is it?

Here, boy. That's it.

DOG WHIMPERS

The abdomen is distended.

Don't start this again.

The dog's in no fit state
to compete.

You can vomit him all you like.
He's swollen.

I strongly suspect that's bloat.
He's out.

I'm not having that!

Do you want him to die?

Well, it's not up to you!

Willie, I believe what you told me,
that dogs are your life.

I know you must be under a lot
of pressure to support your family.

You couldn't go back
to your old job, am I right?

You can't fight
and it makes you feel ashamed.

You can't provide
and it makes you feel ashamed.

I get that.

But you talked to me about pride.

Are you proud of this? Really?

It were meant to be this one time,
I swear.

It's too late for that now.

He needs treatment.

Every moment you wait
puts him more at risk.

Take him.

Mrs Hall... am I selfish?

SHE SIGHS

Let's say...
compromise don't come easy to you.

You know you can lie?

I think you care very much about
other people and what they want.

Mostly when it's the same thing
you want.

That's hardly fair.

James asked for your help
and you said no!

I said he shouldn't go!
I said it was a terrible idea.

I know what you said,
I don't know you heard him.

What's going on at the track?

I don't think he's looking forward
to the six o'clock, put it that way.

It's not far off six now.

Hm.

Hold your horses.

What on earth are you doing?

What I should have done before.

How much Scotch have you had?

I'm aware of my limits.

Cos you're trying to get in
on the wrong side.

Right, I'm driving.

What? No, Mrs Hall...
Jimmy'll be all right with Tristan.

I absolutely forbid you...
Are we going or not?

ENGINE STARTS

Now, remember,
this is not the Rover,

it needs to be handled
with proper... Argh!

Herriot, what you playing at?

I've told you,
I don't want you ruining my races.

I know what the game is.

I don't know if you're in on it
or you choose not to see.

Either way, I need to get to work.

What's the problem?

Let's be having the dog, veterinary.

BRAKES SQUEAL

BEEPS HORN

Oh! Next time you drive, Mrs Hall,

remind me not to have four
double Scotches and a pickled egg.

It must be nearly six.
No, no, no, you stay in the car.

I'll handle things in there.

'There'll be a prizegiving in the
winners' enclosure in five minutes.'

I'm not saying you're wrong.

I'm just saying you don't know dogs
like these people do.

I know dogs.

But in this case,
you've made a mistake.

Easily done.

The dog's ill.

The dog's fine.

It runs.

I'm sure you came into this business
because you liked the animals once.

Let's be having the dog.

MAN: Come on, let t'dog run!

WOMAN: Yeah, come on!

I don't wanna have to hurt anyone.

Walk away now
and we'll say no more about it.

I warn you, I am fully versed
in whippet racing code.

'The prizegiving is about to
begin in the winners' enclosure.'

On your way, then. Chop, chop.

Go!
Who are you?

You don't know who I am?

You bloody should.

And I'll bloody well tell you why.

Run!

Now, then, now, then.

Welcome to the 12th anniversary
Harry Coker Championships.

Let me have it. Split up.

..trained by Lincoln Walley.

Well done, well done.

Ah, he's took it off him
straight away!

The posh berk's got the dog!

If you head over to t'bar,
I'll tell you what.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MAN: Come on, let's go.

Oh. Right, kids,
go take Jimmy and play on t'green.

Come on, Jimmy.
TRISTAN CHUCKLES

It's not bad news, is it?

We've had the results back
from the tests.

It's not psittacosis.

Oh, thank goodness.
So he's all right?

Where did you get George,
Mrs Ainsley?

Oh, he belonged to old Mr Walton.
George was his pride and joy.

Would I be right in thinking

that George may have learnt his
fruity language from old Mr Walton?

Probably, yes. Never in front of
the children, mind.

He used to let them visit.
That's how we got to know George.

Mr Walton could get him on his hand.
Brave man.

He died, sadly.
So we took George in.

I mean, we're glad we did. But...

But he's not a happy soul, is he?

HE SIGHS

All right. Thank you, Mrs Ainsley.

He's hiding somewhere. Where is he?

There!

Ow!
Sorry.

Ah!
HE LAUGHS

GRUNTS

Ow, my knee! Argh!

Are we kidnapping a dog?

Looks like it.
Excellent!

Start the car, Mrs Hall!
What about the Rover?

We'll come back
for the bloody Rover. Get in.

Ah, get off!

What are you doing here?
Drive!

Get it!

Get the dog!
They're after us!

Go, go!

HORN HOOTS

Shut the gate!

Run!

I think he's going for the gate.
Step on it, Mrs H.

I tell you what,
beats backwards cribbage.

Shut the gate!

Did I mention that we won't be able
to pay you this week?

Who cares?!

THEY LAUGH

Don't you dare tell Siegfried
where I hide that.

I know you think
I don't understand...

..but I do.

Parrots are social animals.

And you've been abandoned twice,
haven't you, Georgie?

GEORGE SQUAWKS

First you lost your flock,
and then you lost your human.

That's the absolute worst thing
to happen to a parrot, I reckon.

Twice. Pfft!

Silly arse.
Oh, there we go, a funny.

Maybe that'll stop people seeing
you pulling out your feathers.

No, it won't wash with me.

I, erm...

..I lost my flock, too.

Quite a lot, actually.

Sometimes right in front of me.

So I do know how it feels.

It feels like
your heart died with them.

Shh, shh, shh.

DOG WHINES
Easy.

He's deteriorating rapidly.

He's gone into shock.
What?

He's had a gastric dilation.
What's that mean?

The stomach's swelled,
blocking the blood supply.

Stop the car now.

We need a stomach tube.

My bag. I've left my bag.

There must be something in the car.

Hurry, Siegfried.
I need to deflate it right away!

It's all right, lad, it's all right.

Oh, there's this?

Should do the trick.

AIR HISSES

There you go.

Easy.

Is he all right?

Once we get him back to Skeldale,
he might have a chance.

Let's go.

Ow! What the hell are you using,
bloody vinegar?

Will you sit still?

I've been thinking, Mrs Hall.

If you wanted to go to The Drovers
for an evening of darts...

..I'd be happy to join you.

I'll tell Maggie tomorrow.

How's he doing?

He's had a gastric lavage,
poor thing.

But he's a tough old customer.

Probably in better shape than us,
frankly.

I could have handled
that young upstart.

I must have told you I was
AVC middleweight runner-up 1918.

Isn't runner-up losing?

That's another way of putting it.

You were right about Hensfield,
Siegfried.

You wonder how many other dogs
this is happening to.

You can't help them all.

But you did right by that one.

They don't ask for much, do they?

Loyal. Dependable.

Willing to fight for their pack
if required.

When a human betrays that trust,
it's heartbreaking.

It makes you want
to wring their neck.

I hope the man in question
can change.

I'm sure he will.

I'm going to write to Helen.

I want to apologise
for my behaviour.

I'm mortified to think I might've
made her uncomfortable here.

There were a lot of reasons
Helen needed to be at home.

I still think of this as her home.

I hope one day, she might, too.

Is he better now?

The good news
is I don't think there's anything

physically wrong with him.

Oh, that's such a relief.

It's been so quiet round here
without him, hasn't it?

I could put a collar on him
to help with the feather plucking,

but usually the bird starts again
after it's been removed.

I would say your best bet

is to just try to help him
feel safe and relaxed.

What's the bad news?

Well...

George has been through a lot.

The truth is,

it's going to take him some time
to learn to love people again.

No matter how much you love him.

But we can keep trying, hm? Yeah.

GEORGE: Silly arse.

THEY LAUGH

Bugger!

Ah!

That's a new one.

MUMBLES: I don't know.

MUFFLED SOBBING

Jimmy, armchair.

Well, I have seen it all now.
I don't know what's so remarkable.

It's a partnership.

Although one partner has
the handwriting of a five-year-old.

Is that a nine?
Ah... yes.

Look!
Very good, Jimmy.

Jimmy, that's an important document.

Is everything all right, Mrs Hall?

DOOR OPENS

Right, I want you all
on your best behaviour, please.

Everybody, this is Charlotte.
Charlotte, everybody.

How wonderful to have you here!
Come in, come in.

Sit on the receipts,
it doesn't matter!

How do you do, Harriet.

No, wait, Harriet's Mondays -
which one was this?

Jim!
I'm joking!

I'm kidding.

Can you make paper planes?

Oh, I make fantastic paper planes.

Sit there, Charlotte.

OK. I'm going here.

Like this one, Jimmy?

Not like that one, I hope!

That was an appalling plane!
Don't get me!

Yes, get Dad, good idea!
Get Uncle Tris!

No!

Stop it!

I'll give you money
if you can hit your father.

ALL TALK AND LAUGH

Stop it!