08x12 - Nonna Your Business/Alpining Away

[bunniefuu]

[opening theme playing]

♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like ping pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House In the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push and shove That's how we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House In the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy, ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Loud, Loud House ♪

Poo poo.

[whimsical music playing]

Hmm... Guys, we're in the right spot.

[grunting]

Buongiornofrom Naples, Italy.

We drove our double-decker bus all the way through England

and then through France to get here.

And now, would you believe me

if I said we've been backpacking for miles to get pizza?

Oh, you would.

Well, anyway, Gus, from the Games 'n Grub,

tipped us off to the secret location

of the world's best pizza.

But his directions are just a little hard to follow.

And not just because they're written in marinara sauce.

"Once atop the tomato-shaped hill,

follow the smell of oregano for pizza paddles."

Confusing, right?

[Mom] Oh, I smell the oregano.

It's coming from that way.

One pizza paddle, two pizza paddles,

three pizza paddles, four pizza paddles,

five pizza paddles, six...

It's coming from here.

[Mom] This must be it!

[bleats]

This is where the world's best pizza is made?

Maybe we misread the marinara.

[woman] The sauce never lies.

Benvenuti!I am Nonna Viola.

And you must be the Louds.

What? How did you know?

Are you some kind of mind reader?

No, no, no.

Your amico, SignoreGustavo Games e Grub, is my pen pal.

He said you might be stopping by.

Oof! Che schifo.

I just wish he stuck to the "pen" part in "pen pal."

Please, come in, come in. Per favore.

You must be starving.

-[all] Ooh! -[Dad] Oh!

This pizza recipe has been in my family for centuries.

It was even Julius Caesar's favorite.

Mangiate.Dig in.

[laughter]

[relaxed sighs]

[laughter]

[munching]

[gasps] This is the best pizza I've ever had.

Questa pizza è deliziosa.

Gli ingredienti Italian sono pieni di sapore.

Fascinating.

It appears the taste experience was so stimulating,

it rewired Leni's brain, making her fluent in Italian.

You have to tell us how you make that pizza, Nonna.

-Hmm, I don't know. -Please, please!

I'll never ask for anything ever again probably.

We can do this all day.

It's unfortunately true.

Hmm, okay. I'll tell you what.

I'll teach you how to make my pizza

if you help me gather ingredients.

I just ran out after making your pies.

Deal?

Yay!

Meet me here tomorrow, when the big dough rises.

That's pizza-talk for sunrise.

Ooh, I found some leftover crust.

[kids clamoring]

Okay. The first ingredient I need is wheat.

Harvest as much as you can.

[bleats]

Then bring it back to the farm where I'll be waiting.

Capiche?

Wonderful! Stupendo.

I don't know anything about harvesting wheat.

Me neither.

Come on, guys, we can figure this out.

We just need something sharp.

[dramatic music]

Please tell me you knew we'd be harvesting wheat today.

Uh... Sure.

Ow! What was that?

Oh!

-[groans] -Whoa.

It rains meatballs in Italy? Let's move here.

[groans]

-[grunting] -[gasps] Look.

[barking]

I'll cover you! Just get that wheat!

[screaming]

[grunting]

He's reloading with cannolis.

Run!

[screams]

Nonna, what's with the unhinged oldie hurling meatballs at us?

Oh, mamma mia,that must've been Old Man Giacalone.

He guards my wheat field.

I guess I forgot to tell him an American family

would be helping me today.

[sighs] Fusilli me.

It won't happen again, prometto.

[groaning]

Your next ingredient, tomatoes,

will be meatball free.

Great. So, where are they?

I don't see a tomato patch anywhere.

[whimpers]

[straining]

Whatever you do, don't look down.

[shrieks] Aah...

[gasps]

[screams]

Just grab the tomatoes and throw 'em!

[gulps]

For Nonna's pizza!

I got it. Me! Me! Me! [grunts]

Yeah, baby! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Tomato spike!

Glad I never have to do that again. [chuckles]

[groans]

[grunts]

-[Lincoln clears throat] -Oh!

We got the tomatoes. Can we learn the recipe now?

Hmm, grazie.

But I still need one ingredient. Milk from my cow, Burrata.

She produces latte that makes the tastiest cheese.

I must warn you, though,

Burrata is a little, uh, al dentearound the edges.

[grunting]

I've milked cows before. This should be a cinch.

You just gotta get to know them.

Moo. Mamma moo-a.

[shrieks]

Welp, got to know her. She doesn't like tourists.

[whimpers]

Ah, I have an idea.

[bells chiming]

I used to play this one to soothe you guys to sleep.

[snoring]

Milk secured, Dad.

Mamma mia, bravi! I am impressed.

I'll just bring these buckets inside

and then it's pizza making time.

Did you hear that? Pizza making time.

I can almost taste the soft crust,

all the ooey-gooey cheese.

[Nonna] Um... sorry to burst your pizza bubble.

I forgot I need one last, very last thing.

-Aw, man! -Come on!

I promise, this is the finale.

You're lucky I'm such a patient

and understanding person!

What we get now?

I cook my pizza on special flat stones

found only on the top of Mount Vesuvio.

I just need one stone from the summit.

Uh, come again?

I know it sounds dangerous, and that's because it is.

The ground is rocky.

The air is thinner than good crust.

And it is a volcano, so it could go boom!

[gasp]

I understand if you don't want to go.

So, never mind. Thank you for coming.

Have a beautiful life. Ciao!

I didn't take meatballs to the dome to give up now.

Are we doing this or what?

I don't know.

Lisa, what are the chances it erupts?

Hmm, nearly zero percent.

Hah, I was really hoping for a solid zero there.

But I guess I'll take it.

[all] For Nonna's pizza!

We're getting close.

Keep your eyes peeled for a large flat rock.

Like the one you're standing on?

Ooh, ow, ow! Hot, hot!

[rumbling]

Mamma mia! Il vulcano sta per eruttare!

She's saying it's gonna blow!

[screaming]

[grunts]

This is just like when we play "the floor is lava,"

except the floor is actually lava.

Ooh, game on.

Ahh! Lynn!

Yes. I'm in first!

[gasps, sighs of relief]

Giant flaming boulder!

Is everyone okay?

Other than having my eyebrows singed off, yes.

Eh, they'll grow back.

The important thing is we got the stone.

[cheering]

Whoo-whoo! Loud for the win!

-[grunts] -[loud thud]

[groans]

-Whoops. -[all groan]

Oh, la famigliaLoud? I thought you went home.

What happened to you?

Abbiamo scalato il vulcano e raggiunto la cima.

Poi il vulcano ha fatto,boom!

You climbed the volcano

and reached the top before it went boom?

Oh, it boomed, lady. It boomed.

And you still tried to get my stone?

We had it, too. But then it broke.

Freak chest bump accident. It's nobody's fault.

Sorry we failed you, Nonna.

We're just gonna pack up and go home.

Wait, wait, wait!

Follow me.

[gasp]

What? You had the stone this whole time?

What gives?

Well, to tell you the truth,

I never intended to give the recipe to you or anybody.

My family has guarded it for centuries.

It's very precious to us.

But after seeing how much you appreciate it,

and how far you'd go to get it,

I am going to break my rule this one time.

[cheering]

Now everyone, grab some dough.

Let's make a pizza!

[cheering]

Oh, mamma mia. Mi dispiace.

Who's ready for some pizza making music?

[bells chiming]

-Ha ha! -[moos]

[lively yodeling music]

-[music fades] -[bus horn beeping]

[passengers whooping]

[all groaning]

[retching]

Ooh, who knew those Swiss Alps roads could be so twisty?

[gagging]

I told you guys before.

If you want an iron belly,

you need to up that annual meatball sub intake.

[groaning]

Wow, can't believe I'm actually here

and gonna compete in The Snow Fury.

I'm gonna kick butt in every one of those events.

Uh...

[Lynn gasps]

Oh...

-[screaming] -[barking]

Schnitzel, come back!

[screaming] Ugh!

[growls]

[screams]

[grunting]

[groans]

Danke schoen,Henrik!

-[sighs] Henrik... -Lynn?

Hello? Are you okay?

What's going on with her?

-Dazed look. -[sighs] Henrik...

Smitten sigh.

Excitedly whispering a boy's name.

OMGosh, I think Lynn has...

-Eeh! A crush! -Eeh! A crush!

Eh! Lynn Loud crushes people,

she doesn't crush onthem.

[sighs]

[giggles]

Okay, maybe just a little one.

But what do I do about it?

I'm such a rookie when it comes to this kind of junk.

Well first, you have to approach Henrik

to start a conversation.

-How would you normally do that? -I dunno.

Guess I'd start off with a friendly chest bump.

[grunts]

Totes do not do that.

You have to be gentler.

It's about creating the perfect meet-cute.

A cute opportunity for you to meet each other.

Leni and I could coach you through it.

OMGosh, yes! Like "crush coaches".

We can help you dribble a touchdown

right into home base?

Yeah. Not even close.

But sure, having your help would be awesome.

-Ooh. -Here it comes.

-Eeh! -Eeh!

Okay, Lynn, all you have to do

is pretend you're browsing clocks

and wander over in Henrik's direction.

Hmm...

[shrieks]

[inhales, exhales sharply]

Uh... [gasps]

[grunts]

[groans]

Oh, yeah? One more peep

and you cuckoos are gettin' your clocks cleaned.

[cuckooing]

-[blows raspberry] -[grunts]

-[groans] -[crash]

[polka music playing]

Okay, let's try this again.

All you have to do is casually join in the polka,

then dance your way over to Henrik

so you can talk to him.

[sighs] Okay. Here we go.

Polka game on!

[chuckles]

[snickers] Huh?

No, fräulein.We polka this way.

Look, pal, I'm tryin' to do some meet-cutin' here.

-Beat it! -Whoa!

[grunting]

[laughs]

Ich binokey-dokey.

Oh, dang it!

Strike two.

Oh, hey.

Just doing some pre-cheese stretches.

I like to get limber for Limburger.

[shrieks]

I'm so sorry.

It's just the luck I've been having all day,

for some strange reason.

Well, the strange reason is me.

I've been trying to meet-cute you

but I just meet-bruise you instead.

Strike three. Lynn Loud's out.

-But I didn't get to thank you. -Huh?

For what?

For knocking me into warm cheese.

It's thawing me out

after you knocked me into that pile of snow.

[both laugh]

Yodel-lay-hee-hee...

So, uh, yeah. I yodel-laugh.

Well, I think it's cool.

Hey, would you wanna, like, I don't know,

maybe hang out or somethin'?

That sounds wunderbar.

Meet-cute accomplished.

Cheers to us.

[inhales]

[alpenhorn honks]

[inhales deeply]

[alpenhorn honks loudly]

-[both laugh] -Yodel-lay-hee-hee...

[giggles]

You are amazing.

I've never seen anyone

eat an entire apple strudel in one bite.

How do you do it?

It's all about loosening your jaw.

I could show you, like, you know,

if you wanna hang again tomorrow?

Ja.That would be great, though I can't until later.

I'm competing in the Snow Fury during the day.

No stinkin' way! I'm gonna be...

-Whoa, who the heck was that? -Hans.

He beat me in the competition last year.

Seems like you got beef.

And not in a tasty Double Belcher kinda way.

I swear, I will never have anything to do

with that Hans ever again for as long as I live!

Sorry, what were you about to say?

Something about "stinking"?

Oh, uh, no, I was thinking

that I hope you kick butt tomorrow.

Danke schoen.That's very kind.

Well uh, see you then.

[Lori and Leni laughing]

Hey, Lynn. What do you think of our new

"Best Crush Coaches Ever" hats?

[upbeat music plays]

-Whoo! -Whoo!

You're not dancing with the hats.

Is everything okay with Henrik?

I found out I'm competing against him

in the Snow Fury tomorrow.

So?

Well, so he just saw the kid who beat him last year

and he said he won't have anything

to do with him ever again.

Big deal.

It just means that Henrik

doesn't like anyone who beats him.

-Oh. -Oh.

Bingo.

You guys are my crush coaches. What's my next play?

Oh, this one's a toughie.

I call a timeout for a quick coach huddle.

So if she wins in the competition,

Henrik won't like her anymore.

But she's Lynn. She's obvi going to slay it.

It's not like she can just suddenly

become a different person.

Ooh, that's it! "Different person."

[crowd cheering]

Guten Tag.My name is Henrik.

[in German accent] Hello. I am Helga.

You look kinda familiar. Have we ever met before?

No, no, no. I am from far, far, far away.

Many miles-- kilometers-- from this place.

Well, nice to meet you, Henrik.

Much of the good luck to yourself.

[honks]

[crowd cheering]

[rock music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[gasps] Oh...

Oh...

[yawns]

[crowd cheering]

Ha-ha!

Ah!

Hah! Beat that.

[grunting]

-[crowd cheering] -[Henrik gasps]

[crowd clamoring]

Helga! Helga!

-Helga! Helga! Helga! -[grumbling]

-Aw... -Helga! Helga! Helga!

I'm sorry the Snow Fury took up the whole day.

I wanted us to hang out more before you leave tomorrow.

Uh, me too.

It's been awesome getting to know you and junk.

Here's to our last date.

-[burps] -[ice crackles]

Aw, yeah.

That one had hints of cocoa with apple strudel notes.

Oh, sorry. Too gross?

Yodel-lay-hee-hee...

No way. That's what I like about you, Lynn,

you're always yourself.

You never try to be somebody you're not.

And I respect you so much for that.

Oh... maybe you shouldn't.

[gasps] You're Helga?!

[snickers]

But why did you do this?

So you wouldn't be mad at me if I beat you in the Fury,

then not wanna have anything to do with me.

Like Hans.

That wasn't about him beating me.

-It wasn't? -Nein.

The reason I don't like Hans is because he's a total monster.

As little kids,

he was always leaving spiders in my lederhosen.

How many times did I polka like this...

-[shrieking] -[laughs]

Okay, but you definitely looked mad every time I won an event.

I was mad... at myself.

I knew I could do better.

Hey, now there's another thing for me to like about you.

You challenge me to be a better athlete.

[giggles]

So... does that mean we can stay in touch after I leave?

You bet your bratwurst, ha-ha!

-[Lynn grunts] -Ugh!

-Yodel-lay-hee-hee... -[laughs]

-Best crush coaches ever! -Best crush coaches ever!

-[both] Eeh! -[rumbles]

[both giggle]

♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee, never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is in the Loud House ♪