01x12 - Isshou no Omoide

[bunniefuu]

The day I kissed Kakeru,

I'd ended up fainting at home from anemia.

The CT scan results showed
that my cancer had metastasized,

and I was diagnosed with Stage IV.

All I could think about was Kakeru.

What would happen
if I confessed my feelings to him?

What if, by some chance,
he felt the same way?

He might end up wasting his time on me.

I can still turn back now.

He'd be able to find someone
else who's right for him.

I have a very important
announcement to make!

I, Kakeryu Sorano...!

I, Kakeru Sorano,
am in love with Koharu Fuyutsuki!

And I want to go out with her!

Why...

Why...?

I'm happy... I'm so happy...

There's no way I wouldn't be happy.

But I can't let this go any further.

I'll only hurt Kakeru.

So I made up my mind.

I'll quietly disappear
from everybody's lives.

And even if I happen to see Kakeru again,
I'll pretend I don't know him.

Until he gives up on me.

Until he forgets me.

It must be so painful for him...

Even though he told me he loved me...
Even though I love him so much...!

Why won't you just give up on me?

I don't have much time left...

I'm going to die anyway...

It was like she was running through
the night with her eyes closed.

She chose to face it alone because
she didn't want to drag anyone else into it.

What can I do to help her in that situation?
I loved her so much.

Fuyutsuki, can you see me?

What are you smiling about?!

Because...

Because what?!
None of this is a joke to me!

Because they say that smiles
scare cancer away, right?

It's hard to smile when
nobody else is smiling, right?

Then why not joke around with me,
even if it's just silly jokes?

Maybe you need someone
you can do that with.

You really are a big dummy, Kakeru.

Kakeru, huh?
I knew it.

What do you mean, you knew it?

Sometimes I saw you
smirking on your face.

And the other day, you said
that bookmark was your bookmark.

You told me a long time ago that
you made it after you started college.

Did I really say that?

You did.

I remember everything you've ever said.

Dummy, dummy, dummy!

Do you know how hard it was
for me to hold everything in...

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

For lying?

Well, for that as well.

Then what?

For being so sick.

It's okay.
You're going to get better, right?

My chances of survival are incredibly low.

You'll be fine.

You'll get better.

I'll try my best.

I believe in you.

I'll try my best, so please believe in me.

It's mid-October.

Once Fuyutsuki had
recovered enough strength,

she was scheduled to transfer
to a hospital in Hokkaido.

The day before her transfer.

How do I look? Does it suit me?

It looks good, right?

You look stunning.

I finally got to wear it.

I finally got to show
it off to you, Kakeru.

I want you to remember this
for the rest of your life.

Yeah. This is something I'll never forget.

Yaay!

We won't be able to see each other starting
tomorrow, so I wanted to make some memories.

The breeze feels nice.

This is our first time
coming here at night.

When I get better and come back,
will you go on another date with me?

I dunno~

You're such a meanie.

I'm sorry. Let's go on dates
whenever you feel like it.

We can go anywhere, anytime.

Where should we go?

Anywhere.

The mountains, the river,
shopping, and a theme park.

I want to visit the place
where you were born.

Sure. There's a sea there
that I used to gaze out at.

I'm looking forward to it.
I have to stay alive until then.

Did you bring the fireworks
we bought in Asakusabashi?

No.

I was hoping we could set them off here.

We can't do it here.

Yeah.

I guess not.

But I think we'd get away with sparklers.

We made them together the other day.

I think they'll let us off just this once.

Are you trying to make me
your accomplice?

If anything, I'm trying to turn you
into the main culprit.

There you go again.

Here, a sparkler.

Do you have a lighter?

I brought one.

So you were planning
to do this after all.

We need to get a little closer,
or the wind will blow it out.

You could just say
you want to get closer.

Alright then, let's get closer.

Okay.

Let's have a competition to see
whose sparkler lasts the longest.

Sure.

I hoped Fuyutsuki's sparkler
lasted longer than mine.

Even if it's just one second
longer than mine.

If those scattered sparks were what
caused the sparklers to burn out faster,

then I wished they'd just hold them in
so they could keep burning.

No, I was wrong.
This is how it should be.

I want her to burn brightly with all her
strength, lighting the way for someone else.

I want her to keep shining
until she's lived a full life.

Burn. Keep burning.

Don't go out.

Ah, mine went out first.

Kakeru, you're such a sweet liar.

We still have more sparklers.
Let's do it again.

Don't lie to me this time.

Come a little closer, then.

Kakeru, what did you do?

I was wondering if sticking the sparklers
together would make them burn longer.

It's not a competition
anymore, then, is it?

I know.

But I want yours to burn longer.

Even if it only lasts a second
longer than mine.

What will you do if I die first?

Don't say that.

It's just a hypothetical.

I don't think I could handle it.

If you die, I'd want to die with you.

I knew you'd say that.

Was that too heavy?

No, but it doesn't make me happy.

I want the person I love
to live a long life.

That bookmark...

Bookmark? Do you mean my bookmark?

Aside from the things you wrote on it,

isn't there anything else
you want to do in the future?

No, there isn't.

Your tone of voice suggests otherwise.

This might be a bit too heavy...

I welcome as much as you can give me.

Don't laugh at me, then.

I won't.

It's clichéd, but I want
to wear a wedding dress.

Okay.

I want to go on a honeymoon, too.

Where do you want to go?

Anywhere is fine.

Somewhere warm and peaceful.

Got it.

I want to have at least one child.

Okay.

I want my child to wear the same kimono
that I wore at my Shichi-Go-San Ceremony.

Okay.

When they start elementary school,
I want to go to their school events, too.

But I wonder if I could go if I can't see.

I'll figure something out.

I want to go on lots of family trips.

I got your back.

I want my daughter to wear a formal
kimono at her Coming-of-Age Ceremony.

I'll learn how to put one on.

We can't devote ourselves
solely to our family.

I want the two of us to go
on dates every so often.

Understood.

I want to attend our child's wedding, too.

They'll write letters to their parents,
and when they read mine out, I'll cry.

I'll probably cry too.

That's embarrassing.

There are lots of things you want to do.

I guess there are.

You have to stay alive.

Yeah.

I'll live a long life.

I promise.

Did it go out?

Yeah.

Then are we done for today?

Oh, right.

Here.

What is this?

The Diary of Anne Frank.

I recorded myself reading it aloud.

The whole thing?

Yep. My throat was sore afterward.

No way! You really recorded
the whole thing?!

Thank you so much.

I'll send flowers to your
hospital room in Hokkaido.

You will?

Spider lilies.

Do you know what they symbolize?

'I believe in you,' right?

You knew?

Well, I did always have them
decorating my room.

Do you know their other meaning, then?

Huh? There's another meaning?

'To a faraway place.'

A faraway place?

'I believe in you as you journey off
to a faraway place.'

Get better over there, okay?

I'll keep believing in you
when you're off in a faraway place.

Kakeru...

I'm really glad that I
fell in love with you.

I'll keep fighting a little longer.

Yeah.

After that, Fuyutsuki's cancer
came back over and over again,

and she fought it every time.

Eventually, the wretched illness...

...snatched her life away from me.

LOVE UNSEEN BENEATH THE CLEAR NIGHT SKY

I've had enough.

Let's just end this.

Please don't give up, Mr. Sorano.

Please take a good rest today.

Thank you as always, Doctor.

Ah, it's okay.

Thank you for always coming in this heat.

Why do you look so lifeless, Dad?

Sakura...

Mom in heaven is going to be mad at you.

Soon after Koharu passed away,
I was diagnosed with colon cancer.

KAKERU SORANO

It spread to my liver, then to my lungs.

It was already at Stage IV

what they called terminal cancer.

With repeated surgeries and
the severe side effects of the medication,

it became so unbearable that
I stopped caring about treatment.

To tell the truth, I was exhausted.

Koharu had continued fighting her
illness and miraculously recovered.

She was finally discharged
after two years of course.

After that, we got married,
and Sakura was born.

But when Koharu was forty-five,

she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Three years ago, she passed away,
leaving Sakura and me behind.

If I were to die as well,

I'd only leaving Sakura with
even more grief to deal with...

Oh, right.

I found this in Mom's dresser.

I'll change the flowers.

"The Diary of Anne Frank."

What a terrible narration.

I couldn't believe Koharu had
to listen to this reading for years.

Dear Kakeru.

First of all, please forgive me
for leaving this world before you.

I'm sorry. Things were
hard for me this time.

I'm sorry for bidding you
a slightly early farewell,

but please don't be too sad.

You haven't cried over
my passing, have you?

Well, I suppose you
might cry at the funeral.

But once you've said goody-bye properly,
you don't have to cry anymore.

It's really okay if you don't cry at all.

Because I don't have a single memory
that makes me want to cry.

Instead, you should praise me
for living longer than I ever expected.

That summer of my first year at college...

If you hadn't been there, my life probably
would've come to an end right then and there.

After that, I've...

COMING-OF-AGE CEREMONY

Say, Kakeru.

You're not assuming
I had any regrets, are you?

It's true that leaving you and
Sakura behind is undeniably sad.

Oh, I've been so happy.

I've had such a wonderful life.

Thank you, Kakeru.

Thank you for coming into my life.

Thank you for choosing me.

My journey might be ending here,

but I believe yours will continue
on to a faraway place.

I believe in you as you lift your head
and keep moving forward.

Please.

Please live your life with
a smile on your face.

Dad, why are you crying?

Sorry.

These new flowers smell great.

Do you know what those flowers mean?

Spider lilies?

'I believe in you as you journey off
to a faraway place.'

Believe?

Yes.

Your mother lives on in both our hearts.

I'm sure she'll keep sending
that message to us.

Huh? Dad, are you smiling now?

They say smiling scares cancer away.

Koharu was blind.

She suffered through a terrible illness.

And yet, she never gave up on life.

Can I become someone like her?

Can I pass that spirit on to someone else?

Oh! Fireworks!

Dad, look!

Sakura.

Could you fetch the doctor for me?

I want to discuss my treatment.

Okay!

Thank you.

I am also glad that I met you, Koharu.

A MEMORY THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME