01x09 - Safety Canary

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on Wonderfalls.
- What did you say?

- Girl needs a boy.
- I'm a l*sbian.

- What?
- Did you have that goiter before?

Were there peanuts
in the salad?

I'm his ex-wife. My name is on the
emergency contact card in his wallet.

- Are you his girlfriend?
- I don't have a girlfriend.

Up until quite recently,
I was married and living with a man.

- I'm not a man.
- Is this gonna be an issue?

Girl needs a-

Girl might actually find time
to have a boy if you'd ever shut up.

I just feel like
there's something here.

A spark or chemistry
or something.

We should absolutely
have a date.

Lauren, our wild-caught female...

is an unwieldy, some might
say destructive, bird.

A lovely, lovely creature.

She'll chew through
just about anything...

given half
a snowball's chance.

Sometimes even a prospective mate.

Um, her new friend
was domestically bred...

and hand-raised
in an aviary by humans.

Hi, Humphrey.

Humphrey's not so rough-and-tumble.

Humphrey previously paired
with another macaw...

but he rejected that bird...

so he's very eager
to, uh, mate.

Lauren appears to be, uh,
responding to his advances...

ever so cautiously allowing him
to feed her nuts and berries.

But her mercurial
mood swings...

tend to complicate
the courtship...

which naturally contributes
to the decline...

of these rare, endangered and, uh-

Well, really, really
just neat animals.

You can tell by their smiles
that these little comedians...

are a constant source of light,
always doing funny things.

- You taste good.
- I do?

Mm-hmm. You know, I read this thing
about saliva and saliva compatibility.

If someone tastes good,
they have compatible saliva.

If someone tastes bad, um,
you probably shouldn't be kissing them.

Shh!

I love how you brought me
to the zoo for our first official date.

All the animals are safely penned,
and none of them talk.

There's been no bill contact...

and Lauren and Humphrey have yet
to groom each other in the cloacal area...

removing the dense down...

that can inhibit
successful fertilization.

This could mean that
they've lost interest in mating.

What was that
about not mating?

Take a picture.

It'll last longer.

- I can't.
- Huh? Why?

- What are you afraid of?
- Afraid?

- I'm not afraid.
- Take a picture. Take a picture.

Take a picture.

Though maybe you should be.

- Why would I be afraid of you?
- Take a picture.

It'll last longer.
It'll last longer. Take a picture.

All right.
All right. God.

Happy?

Whoa! Ow! Get-

Ow!

They've left some seeds in my hair.
And a feather.

But you were very gallant.

- Prescription.
- I have to go.

The folks are going out of town
this weekend and asked me to drop it by.

Mom said to be sure
to take it with food.

It's a topical ointment.

She thinks you're too thin.
How did you do that to yourself anyway?

I was on a date.

Did you report the b*stard?

You cannot let a guy
get away with that.

- Think of the next woman.
- I am the next woman.

He didn't do this to me.

In fact, he was great.

Wow. You really are
a man-hater.

- You should talk.
- Meaning what?

You are a man-eater.

You lie.

Do you have any idea how many
of your discarded boyfriends...

I ended up consoling
when I lived at home?

Yuri, that exchange student
from Prague, still writes to me.

So, whoever this new guy is...

please do not give him my phone number
when the inevitable happens.

What if I gave his wife
your number instead?

- He is married?
- Only technically.

But I'm sure you could
take care of that.

You could recruit her in your l*sbian lifestyle,
like you did Beth.

- I did not recruit her.
- Oh, look.

Isn't that
your girlfriend's husband now?

Boy, this is gonna be
awkward, huh?

Oh, here. Let me
help you up, ma'am.

Sharon!

- Thomas, hi!
- Hi.

- The throat looks really good.
- Oh, yeah. The goiter.

Yeah. Thanks. You can
hardly tell it was there.

No flare-ups?

No, not since our, uh, date.

Good. So you've been
avoiding the p*nis.

Peanuts.

'Cause you're allergic
and there could be swelling in the throat.

It was peanuts, right?
P- Peanuts?

Yeah, that was kind of
a bad night.

- Yeah.
- Though it worked out pretty well for you though.

So how is Beth?
Are you guys still, uh...

girlfriend and... girlfriend?

Yeah. She's great. Yeah.

Good. Good. 'Cause I want her
to be happy. So-

She is.
We're- We're both happy.

Okay, I got, uh,
something to deliver, so-

Good morning, Jaye.

So...

how's the nurse?

Oh, Jaye.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, that's-

Have a good day.

Do you know what happens
when a fairy's wings lose their dust?

The fairy dies.
That's what.

Restrooms are for
customers only.

No, I don't have to
use the bathroom.

Uh, well, I do, actually,
but that's not why I'm here.

I'm Rufus.

- Remember? I work at the zoo with Penelope.
- Oh, the bird lady?

The elephant lady now.

- Huh?
- Because of you...

they've got her mucking out
the elephant pen.

She's banned from
the aviary.

They say she can't
control the birds.

I'm sorry.

Okay, she- she was
the fairy from...

like I was saying,
and the birds-

Well, the birds, they're
the dust in her wings.

Look, zoo guy,
sometimes these things happen for a reason.

Being moved to the elephant pen could just be
the best thing that's ever happened to her.

No, it's not.
It's the worst thing.

Those birds were her life and she theirs.
Without her, they'll- they'll die.

I'm sure the birds
will be fine.

No. No, they won't be.

Those birds are endangered,
and she was trying to get them to breed.

Without her,
their love will die.

Save the lovebirds.

You have to do something.

Hi. I don't know
if you remember me, but-

Ew. Did that monkey just
throw its food at you?

- In a way.
- Good arm.

Why don't you take
a picture of this too?

Yeah, I'm sorry.
I heard you got banned from your birds.

- So, I was just-
- Please no flash photography in the aviary.

I said it three times.

- I'm sorry.
- The birds are traumatized.

And now they have
nobody to talk to.

Those birds talk?

They talk to me.

You wouldn't understand.

- I wish I didn't.
- Those birds are in the infancy of their relationship.

The bond is very delicate.

And now they're migrating
towards extinction...

like it's northwestern
Paraguay, thanks to you.

Hey, I'm the one who has to
put on topical ointment.

The female reacted defensively.

She saw a flash of white.

I'm sure she thought
you were a snowy owl.

And she's not gonna be
presenting herself for mating...

if she thinks she's being
attacked by a snowy owl.

Those poor birds.

You k*lled their love.

You really are a snowy owl.

Penelope, I thought we agreed for the time being
that you wouldn't be interacting with-

Aren't you
the young lady who-

Yes, it is. She's the awful woman
who was tormenting the macaws.

Would you excuse us for a minute?

This zoo is about
people, Penelope...

and that seems to be the one species
you cannot get along with.

I told you not to put me
with the customers.

Just let me go back
to my birds. They need me.

They're not your birds.
They belong to the zoo.

The Big Cat Adventure Show will begin-

And you don't work
for the zoo anymore.

You're fired.

Snowy owl love k*ller.

Who are you?

Why would you sneak peanut butter
into my groceries?

There was no sneaking.
I saw that you were out.

Yes, you said that
at the grocery store...

when you pointed to the shelf
and said, "Look, peanut butter. "

I told you I don't eat
peanut butter.

We were together the entire time.
I don't even know how you-

Here's another one.

- You snuck in two jars of peanut butter.
- Chunky and smooth.

- What are you doing?
- So you'd have a choice. You like choices, right?

Not if I'm choosing
between two things I don't like.

When was the last time
you had peanut butter?

I don't know. Uh...

before I married Thomas
I guess.

Right. But you are not
married now, so choose.

What do you want me to say?

- Chunky.
- Of course you would say chunky.

Well, if it's chunky
you want...

there's no point in having a jar of smooth
in the cupboard, is there?

'Cause we all know that smooth
can't compete with chunky, can it?

- God help us if our cycles sync up.
- Do not blame this on my period.

Is this what it's like
to date a woman?

Oh, gee. Look at that.
Look at the time.

It's time for you to start dating
peanut-allergic men again.

- I guess it is.
- Well, there you go.

There you go.

Thank you for allowing me
to be a rest stop...

on your road to
heterosexual bliss.

You're welcome.

"Love k*ller. "Can you believe that?

You're not a snowy owl.

And I'm not a love k*ller.

What?

Well, actually, the bird lady's
kind of right about that.

Well, half right.
You don't just k*ll love.

You stalk it,
you toy with it, then you k*ll it.

You're the huntress,
and love is your prey.

I mean, look at him.

I am.

Like a wounded gazelle.

Run, little gazelle, run.
There's danger at the watering hole.

That's crazy.
He's not a gazelle.

He's more like a fuzzy bunny.

I don't k*ll fuzzy bunnies.

Fuzzy love bunnies.

You're in the toying stage. I can almost hear
that clicking noise my cat makes.

It's not serious enough
for there to be toying.

We've only just found out
our saliva's compatible.

There's no love to k*ll yet.

What did you just say?

Saliva?

"Yet. "

You said "yet. "
Three little letters...

and the most romantic thing
I've ever heard fly out of your mouth.

And also the most terrifying.

It's the sound
of a fuse being lit.

- It is not.
- Better not be.

After everything
that boy's been through...

I don't think his heart
can take that... thing you do.

I don't do... a thing.

Oh, my God.

What?

Nothing.

He's safe with me.
So safe. I'm reformed.

- You better be.
- I am. Honest.

- I'm not a love k*ller. I-
- Hey.

Save the lovebirds.

I'm a love... saver, evidently.

And I'll prove it.

This is so romantic, coming back to the zoo.

- Picking up our date where we left off.
- Yeah.

Uh, but you, uh, don't maybe wanna
come back when it's open?

I'm pretty sure
sneaking in's against the law.

We answer to a higher law.

- We do?
- Love. Love is our higher law.

And we're here to save it.

Not that it was ever
in any danger from me.

This way.

So, this isn't really a private showing, is it?

Uh, no. Not so much
a private show as a federal offense.

We're here to steal an endangered species
and then force them to have sex.

Not stealing.
Liberating.

Hello, Humphrey.

Hello, Lauren.
I missed you.

Yes, it's the snowy owl girl.

I know she did.

This all must seem
a little odd, but, um...

as a person who champions
love at every turn...

- I'm here to say that it really isn't-
- I don't think it's odd.

- You don't?
- It's the most romantic thing I've ever heard of.

Really?

My love-saving nature
doesn't bother you?

Define "bother. "

Well, just so you know...

this isn't an isolated incident.

Things like bird attacks and abduction
happen to me all the time.

And if it's not birds...

it's a lion or a monkey...

and then there's that fish.

What I'm trying to say is that there is
constant interruption.

- I don't scare you?
- Only in a good way.

It's the feds.

- Who is that? What are you doing?
- Um, what are we telling people?

Put your arms down.
It's the guy who picks up garbage.

Hey, it's you.
What are you doing here?

Uh- Uh, they're with me.

Penelope?

- I thought you were fired.
- Yeah, I was.

- Are you Human Resources?
- No, I used to clean your paddock. My name is Rufus.

No time. We need your help.
These birds need me.

They need me to mate.
The bond is very delicate.

Of course it is. They're in the infancy
of their relationship.

Is that the feds?

No, that's security.

Okay, I have an idea.
Follow me.

Shh.

Use the Tikki Path.
It's the quickest way to the parking lot. Okay?

- Careful. I'll just make a distraction
for them so you- - Thanks. Thanks.

Okay. Good. Good.

Come on.

- Where are we gonna go?
- Where are we gonna go?

- I have three cats.
- I sleep in dry storage.

My trailer's messy.

Oh, I know.

Let us in.

Mom and Dad are gone
for the weekend, right?

- Yeah.
- Good. We need a place to mate.

Good. Good.

This works well.

What the hell's
going on?

Nothing. Go back to bed
or find some pants.

- Who's mating?
- The birds.

Did the cow creamer
tell you to do this?

No. The stuffed donkey did.

If we turn the dryer on,
let it vent into the room...

maybe it'll help simulate
their native environment.

- Or k*ll everyone in the building.
- Help me make room?

So, what do you think
will happen to Rufus?

I don't know any birds
called Rufus.

He's not a bird.
He's the guy who helped us escape.

Not an endangered species,
so I can't worry about that right now.

Do I even wanna know why
I spent the past half hour...

gathering worms
and tree branches for you?

Jaye's spearheading an effort
to save an endangered species.

Isn't she something?

My birds don't eat worms.

Oops. My bad.

Help me get this thing on.

- I'm not cleaning up your mess.
- I'll take care of the worms.

Not that mess. He only liked you before.
Now he's worshipping you.

Better be careful.

Somebody stop me!
I can't help myself!

Why would anyone
worship my sister?

Is she a cult figure?

You're not wearing pants.

I was about to get some.

Well, you're certainly
undressed for it.

- They're not doing anything.
- They will. Be patient.

We've created the perfect
mating environment for them.

You don't suppose they're waiting
for the five giants to stop leering at them, do you?

She's toying with him.

Look at her.
What a tease.

- Seems like she's ignoring him.
- It's a ploy.

She's making him
want her more.

That way he won't see it coming
when she bites his head off.

Birds don't do that. Although...

in some species of praying mantis,
the female eats the male headfirst during mating.

God. Love can be cruel.

- And beautiful.
- But cruel.

I mean, I'm not saying
it's her fault.

She can't help what she is.
But look at that beak.

- It was made for pecking.
- That's the male.

Whatever. Point is, the only thing
endangered here is Humphrey's heart.

God. Why doesn't he just run?

Run, Humphrey, run.

Um, she's smelling me.

Hey. Hey, stop it.

Don't- Don't sniff him.

I know what it is.
I know why they're not mating.

It's all the male
pheromones.

Humphrey won't mount Lauren if he senses
the pheromones of another male.

He views it as a threat.

Uh, you're gonna have to leave.
Both of you.

Yes. Right.
Good call. Boys out.

You're putting your pheromones
all over everything.

Stop. Get off.
I'm not going anywhere.

- Mom and Dad put me in charge.
- Oh, wah. Get out.

I'm really sorry.
We'll do it again some other time.

Oh, I don't mind waiting.

You could be waiting
a long time.

These birds, they only mate, like,
once every five years.

And we don't really know
when it was they last got any.

- So, anyhow, we'll have to finish our date later.
- They're mating!

What?

- Lauren's cloaca is fully engorged!
- They're totally doin' it!

Jaye, now we can
finish our date.

I thought they needed
more time.

- You can't be doing it now.
I'm not ready to face him.

You need to cool off.

No!

Why are you still here?

I wanna see
an engorged cloaca.

I told you. Your powerful
sexual chemistry is too distracting.

I get that a lot, actually.

Oh, my God. What happened?

Who left the window open?

Humphrey's never been in the wild...

and Lauren's been in captivity
for most of her adult life.

They'll die out there.

We'll find them-
eventually.

- What are you doing?
- Trying to save the lovebirds.

- Why'd you open the window?
- What?

I can't believe you-
I didn't-

You-

That obvious, huh?

What's obvious is that
you're using these birds to avoid Eric.

- Why?
- Because...

I'm a snowy owl
love k*ller.

I'm a man-eater.

I just- I was hoping things
would be different with Eric.

I thought maybe
I could just nibble.

But a natural predator
can't just nibble.

Oh, my God, Jaye.
You cannot do this to him.

- You promised.
- I know. I'm trying to save him...

by avoiding him
so I could be with him.

But I can't go near him,
or I'll destroy him.

So if I could just manage
to stay away from him...

then maybe we could be together.

Please don't repeat
that back to me.

Look, you have got to
nip this in the bud right now.

Just get it over with.
Show some mercy.

Take him out into the woods
and put one painlessly in the back of his head.

It's such a cute head.

Cap him.

You're right.
That's what I need to do.

Jaye! Jaye!

Oh, my God!
I just found this outside in the gutter.

It could be a clue!

Oh! I came as soon as I found out
about the missing children.

Are you their mother?

Oh, those poor babies.

We will find them.

They're birds.

Yeah, I, uh...

probably shouldn't have
said babies so much as... birds.

It's a "B" word.

I can think of
another "B" word.

If you see a wolf,
don't bother to call me.

Wolf. Oh, God. Predators.

Lauren and Humphrey are smart birds.
Maybe they'll come back.

They're hyacinth macaws,
not homing pigeons.

Hyacinth macaws?

There was a huge spread on them
in the December National Geographic.

They are endangered.

Uh, yeah.
You'd be endangered too...

if your wings were clipped and you could only
cover 800 feet of ground per hour...

and the average flight
of the snowy owl is-

But that's good.
They're probably less than a mile away.

- They're probably in the woods behind the house.
- We should split up.

Yes. Split up.

We should split... up.

So, okay...

Sharon, you go with Penelope.

And, Mahandra,
you come with me.

Nobody move!

Oh, God. I lost a contact.

Eric, you go with Jaye.

Lauren.

Humphrey.

Lauren.

Humphrey.

I don't mean to look a gift mouth
in the mouth, but what was that for?

- It was, uh, for the birds.
- The birds?

I thought maybe your pheromones
were chasing them away again...

so I thought maybe
if we dissipated them-

- Oh, good theory. The birds.
- The birds.

What is she doing with those birds anyway?

Is she gonna use
their babies in a ritual?

Only thing that's getting
sacrificed tonight...

is the heart of a certain
unsuspecting bartender.

Oh, right.

He did seem like a man
marked for heartbreak.

You saw it too?

Well, I mean,
he was with her.

Why does she always
do that to them?

You know that exchange student from Prague
still e-mails me about her.

She's like a bug zapper.

Long as I've known her,
guys have been throwing themselves at her.

Maybe if she was more like
some of us less magnetic types...

she wouldn't be so quick
to throw 'em back.

I think you're magnetic.

Yeah, well,
for all my innate magnetism...

I haven't really been attracting
a lot of the brothers...

in the Greater Niagara
region lately.

I'm somebody's brother.

Yeah, right.
My best friend's brother.

Like that's gonna happen.

Why not?

Well, for one thing...

if we ever even tried to kiss,
we'd never stop laughing.

Bet we could
get through it.

Doubtful.

I challenge you.

I challenge you to a kiss.

Shut up.

So, how are the pheromones?

Good. Salty good.

- Feel that?
- It's your heart. It's beating.

- Know what it means?
- Uh, that you're not dead?

Exactly. My life's not over.

I thought it was after Heidi...

but I don't think I've ever felt
as alive as I do with you right this second.

It's a good heart.
Strong.

We should keep it
right where it is.

I like you.
I like you a lot.

In fact,
of all the boys-

men-

well, boys, actually- that I've liked,
I may like you the most.

In fact,
I'm pretty sure I do.

You're sensitive
but not at all creepy.

Slightly damaged,
and that's always a plus.

And your smile.

Your smile.

Yeah? My smile?

Is about to fade.

Uh, what?

Run. Run now,
and don't look back.

- What are you doing?
- Letting you escape.

- I don't want to escape.
- You need to. You need to now...

before you have to chew off
your own leg to get free.

Are you breaking up with me?

No. God.

We're not even together,
so we can't really break up.

And this way,
we'll never have to.

I'm just keeping you safe.

Oh.

Thank you.

You don't know me
at all, do you?

Do I seem like a guy
who's lookin' for safe?

That's your excuse?
Well, it's total crap.

If you don't wanna be with me, that's fine,
but don't tell me it's for my own good.

It's not me
you're protecting.

Oh, God.

Their story can't end like this.
It just can't.

Oh. It's such
a beautiful story.

- It is.
- Oh, it had everything.

Humphrey...

so handsome and charming.

The perfect match for our sweet,
unattached Lauren.

- Hmm.
- Yeah, he was even starting to get over his former partner.

- Humphrey had an ex?
- Bridget.

She was no good for him.

They fought all the time,
so we brought in Lauren.

Then he just pined away
for his old flame.

Isn't that always the way?

Lauren is a scrappy bird.
Wild Lauren.

She wasn't about to
let the ex stand in her way...

- so she did something about it.
- She did?

Mm-hmm. One morning...

we found Bridget at the bottom of her cage,
pecked to death.

She had over 60 beak wounds to her body.

- Birds are so interesting.
- I know.

Of course, getting rid of Bridget
didn't solve all of Lauren's love problems.

There was still one more female
standing in Lauren's way.

- Who?
- Lauren.

She was standing
in her own way?

Well, she'd been
on her own for so long...

she was having trouble
allowing Humphrey to establish dominance.

Until now.

Who knows if it'll survive
this complication?

Oh, God.

Well- Hey.

Hi.

Hey. Uh...

look, I'm really sorry
about the drop-by...

but I- I found this in a box,
and it didn't look like mine...

so I figured
it had to be yours...

and I didn't wanna-

It's a button.

- Yeah. It's, um-
- It's your button from your tweed jacket.

Did you cut that off?

I know that it's over, okay?

I do. And I understand that,
and I don't expect that to change.

I mean, I-
I'm seeing other women...

and, you know,
so are you.

And I-And-

Hey. Hey.
Have you been crying?

You have.

You mean she made you cry?
How could she do that?

- Uh, what can I do?
- Don't do anything.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.
- Please stop saying that.

What do you want me to say?

Don't say anything.

Eric. Eric.

Don't be mad.

Where are you going?

- To be dominated.
- Hey, wait.

Blonde woman.
Uh- We haven't found the macaws yet.

Ah! There you are, Penelope.

Now, where are my damn birds?

I can't believe you...
squealed on us.

You... person.

Do you think animals
would do that to each other?

No, it wasn't-
It wasn't me.

The zoo surveillance camera-
It got the whole thing on tape.

The zoo?

You stole those macaws
from the zoo?

Liberated.

Penelope...

he said he wouldn't
call the feds.

- All you have to do is give back the birds.
- Hi. Sharon Tyler.

I'm an attorney, and I fully understand
the magnitude of what's happened here.

Review the tape.
You will see that I am not on it.

Excuse me.
I have some place to be.

I cannot be a part of this.

I cannot be a part of this.

- Where are my birds?
- They're, uh-

They're not here.

You leave me no choice.

No one else leaves this house.

How did they get in there?

Window's open.

They're mating. I told you.

And here I thought
they didn't want to.

How unusual.
They chose a car.

Why? This is the first place I did it.

Oh, there's a...

very strong
female musk scent.

It's patchouli.

What?

Their love is
so beautiful.

And acrobatic.

Well, they can't be removed
from this environment now.

Oh, my God.
Look at them go at it.

Thanks for donating your car, Ms. Tyler.

And thank you
for not calling the police.

It is a loan.
That means temporary.

When can I get my car back?

There's a 28-day
incubation period.

I will be back in one month.

I want it cleaned
and vacuumed upon return.

That is a custom
leather interior.

Leather is dead flesh.

I want my dead flesh cleaned.
Armstrong Taxi, please.

I have to say, I never did expect
those birds to mate. I'm still amazed.

Does that mean
I get my job back?

Are you kidding?
You're still fired.

Hey. Cheer up.

At least they're doing it.
That's what you wanted, right?

Yeah.

- I guess.
- What do you mean, "I guess"?

I've never seen anyone work so hard
to get someone else laid in my entire life.

You're like the total
mack daddy bird pimp.

Thank you.

- See how happy they are?
- Uh-huh.

And I know I should be too...

but...

I'm not sure I am.

Again, I go back to the working really hard
to get someone else a piece thing.

The payoff is never gonna be
as great for you as it is for them.

Don't you think you've been
using these birds...

to avoid interacting
with your own species for long enough?

- Do you think that's what I do?
- I do, yes.

Yes, I do.

I mean, human interaction
is scary.

And it's unpredictable and...

you have to interact
with other, well, humans.

And that's always messy.

You're probably
scared, and...

that's why you're using your animals
as an excuse to avoid risk.

I have to go.

Keep the change.

Be right there.

- Hi.
- Hi. Listen. I-

I don't want to be a rest stop
on your road to heterosexual bliss.

- I really-
- I wanna be one of those...

spiked mats they use
in high-speed chases.

- Sharon, I have-
- I want to rip the rubber off your hubs...

and I want your car to spin out of control
and into my arms...

- and I don't ever want to let you go.
- You don't?

Uh-uh. Because I am here...

to stake my claim.

And I will peck to death
any bird that gets in my way.

And I know that's a bird
and a car metaphor...

and I think there's a mining reference
in there somewhere, but...

- they all hold.
- Okay, I just-

You are mine.

- I'm never gonna let you go.
- I'd really-

And I'm not afraid anymore.

Just don't say
anything else.

Just dominate me.

Hello, Rufus.

Hi, Penelope.

I, uh...

wanted to thank you.

Sure. Okay.

You went out on a limb
for me and the birds.

Thank you.

Birds like limbs.

Will you look in on them
from time to time?

Of course.
Of course I will.

I'll make sure they name one of the chicks
after you, so they won't forget.

Penelope.

Yes, Rufus?

I love the macaws too.

But they're not
the only animal in the zoo.

Come on!

He's smarter than you,
you know?

Smarter than both of us.

He knew I was putting
something between us.

Making excuses.
Avoiding.

I'm lucky
he called me on it.

I'm lucky he's smart,
sensitive and confrontational.

Bet ya he wouldn't let some stuffed a*s
push his cute butt around.

What you think of that, huh?

Thought so.

What'd they lose now?
An alligator?

I accept your challenge.

Oh.

I'm not laughing.

No.

You're trembling.

Jaye?

This is Heidi, my wife.

Get the ball, Bud.