01x02 - O Captain! My Captain!

[bunniefuu]

["Ever Since U Left Me "
by French Montana and Max B playing]

Dorothy Dandridge Davenport

has faithfully served this campus
longer than y'all been alive.

Put some respect on her name.
And suddenly she resigns?

'Cause some freshman
is out here smearing her?

Debra Wayne is an obnoxious, entitled bi--

[in unison] Debra Wayne deserves a medal
for ending Dictator Davenport's reign.

Our Hillman legacy is bigger
than the sins of one messy-boots person.

Hillman lost a grip in federal funding.

But that money
wasn't even for scholarships.

Mm-mm, the math ain't mathing.

LeDebra Wayne is a plant.

Yo, who name they child Debra anyway?

How hard is it to pronounce Deborah?

Once again,
I'm being thrown under the bus.

Well, you didn't have to call out
Davenport in front of everybody.

I mean, I wouldn't have,
but some of us were just raised different.

I was trying to help you, Rashida.

Look, I know you were trying
to be on the lookout,

but your help isn't very helpful, sis.

Now you got everybody
all up in my financials.

["Ever Since U Left Me "
continues playing]

I didn't think about it that way.

I'm sorry.

Okay, all right. So, done. Now what?

[door clangs shut]

-[washing machine beeps]
-[water sloshing]

See how helpful that was.

So… So I don't need these, or…

♪ It's a different world ♪

♪ Than where you come from ♪

♪ It's a different world ♪

♪ Than where you come from ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ It's a different world ♪

♪ Than where you come from ♪

♪ Oh ♪

["Top Play" by Darren Waller playing]

[grunting]

-[player speaking indistinctly]
-[whistle blows]

♪ We not fazed, they don't wanna… ♪

Five Star finally showed up.

Coach, man, let me know somethin'.

Tomorrow, first game.
I'm starting or what?

Okay, like I told your pops
every time he called this week,

if you hadn't missed camp,
there'd be no question.

But it's gonna be a game-time decision
between you and Andre.

'Cause just like they used to say
in the league, "100%…"

[all] "Ain't enough."

Let me ask,
how long you plan on being here

before you jump in the transfer portal?

Coach, we've talked about this already.

I told you, this is where I wanna be.
I'm here at Hillman to stay.

-That's good to know.
-Yeah.

'Cause that portal and them NIL checks

got y'all thinking
the game ain't the game.

[players chattering]

Hear me once, son.

No man is above the team, all right?

-Yeah.
-Good job out there. Let's go.

In five generations of Gilbert legacies,

you are the only one
to ever make our school look bad.

Ma.

Since our institutions
are held to a higher standard,

this damn story won't die,
and you're the face of it.

Sit. We've got big news.

Okay.

[Deborah sighs]

Oh God, I've prepped for this scenario
with Dr. Basler, but this is all my fault.

Rip the bandage off.
You're getting a divorce.

-[Dwayne] What?
-You're getting a divorce.

No, listen to me. Listen to me.

This thing between your mother and I,
it's not your fault.

-[Deborah] Oh.
-It's kind of her fault.

-Whitley.
-Anyhoo, back to our news.

Yes, please. Um…

[Dwayne chuckling]

Welcome to my new office.

Because the board has named me

interim president.

-And I'm first lady.
-[Dwayne chuckling]

Who would have thunk it?
Uh, Debo, you good?

Yeah. Half of Hillman

and all the Black people left on Twitter
are already coming for me,

and now, okay, uh, yeah,
they're really gonna hate me.

Thanks.

Deborah, this is bigger
than your 15 minutes of infamy.

This is about the longevity
of this great institution.

This is your final warning.

I need you to put your head down

and focus on why
you are actually at Hillman,

or else you will be back
in Connecticut on house arrest.

[people chattering indistinctly]

["Wat It Do" by Swayyvo playing]

[all laughing and chattering]

[locker lid closes]

[all murmuring]

-[Shaquille] What y'all got going on, man?
-You good, freshman?

Andre, I ain't
with all these goofy-a*s pranks.

Where my clothes at, man? Andre.

Can I at least get my drawers?

["BIG FISH" by Neptune XXI playing]

♪ Protect my energy ♪

♪ Energy, energy, energy, energy ♪

♪ I protect my energy ♪

Hey, pretty eyes. Can I borrow your towel?

Just let me hold it for a minute.

[both laughing]

["BIG FISH" continues playing]

[sighs quietly]

[song fades]

[students chattering indistinctly]

[chalk clinking]

So the question is,

in a world lacking love,

who have we become?

Sociopaths.

-Ooh. Oh.
-[students laughing]

Well, Mr. Rodale is not wrong.

Love is the heartbeat of liberation.

Love is what keeps us human
in the face of domination.

-[students] Mm.
-[Freddie] That's why everything,

from your dating apps
to your TikTok algorithms,

are designed to keep us
empathetically disconnected.

So it's not just oppressive systems
that damage our capacity to love?

No. No, no, no, not at all.

And hooks takes us even further.

[Amir] Uh…

-You'll get it back. Chill.
-No, she didn't.

[Rashida] She even says,

"Boys are trained
into patriarchy so young,

it severs them from love completely."

Yeah, well, I'm severed indeed.

-[students laughing]
-[Freddie chuckles] Okay. Okay.

Uh, what stands opposite patriarchy?

-Deborah?
-[Deborah] Hm?

Uh, the-- The patriarchy…

Beyoncé? [laughing]

-Yeah?
-[students laugh]

[Rashida] Feminism.

hooks frames it as a way to free everybody
from patriarchy's prison.

[Hazel] A prison?

My father led our home,

just like the Bible teaches,
and our house was full of love.

This girl quotes scripture
in her sleep, I swear.

I think she touched by an angel.

[students laughing]

I'm compelled to agree
with my sister in Christ here.

Men are not always to blame,

despite what third-wave feminists
would have us believe.

-[Freddie] Okay.
-[students murmuring]

See, hooks doesn't blame men,
but the system of patriarchy as a whole.

It is our job to write a new script.

But this is exactly
the tension that hooks lives in.

So for your oral presentations,
it is your job to answer the question,

"If we don't learn to love each other,
can we still make a difference today?"

Sayonara, my little earthlings.

Come here, my little moonbeam.

Uh-oh.

-Talk to me.
-[Deborah kisses teeth]

This convocation stuff throwing you off?

Yes. [inhales]

If I don't get my academia on,
Warden Whitley…

-[Freddie chuckles]
-…is going to come for me.

I just don't understand
how I'm supposed to focus on school

while the entire world is dragging me.

Oh, baby. Some extra study time
with my student assistant might help.

-[Deborah groaning]
-Ellington?

[sighs]

Yeah.

Damn.

-Uh, I… I mean, sounds good.
-[Freddie] Mm-hm.

Ellington, this is my moonbeam
and a very promising student.

I'm familiar.
Calling out President Davenport was tough.

Pleasure, Deborah.

Pleasure. [chuckles]

Oh, excuse me, you two.
The work never ends.

[Ellington chuckles]

So, uh, I need all the help I can get.

-[chuckles]
-Say less.

My office hours are tomorrow afternoon.

Tomorrow af-- During the football game?

Best time to study.

The library is actually quiet.

Got it, got it.
But, uh, it's my friend's first game.

And I-- I really can't miss it,
so maybe we can find another time.

Okay. It's your grade, not mine.

[Freddie] Rashida.

-Bye.
-Bye.

As much as I believe
in a cooperative society,

you can't keep snatching
your classmates' texts.

I know, but the grant money I lost
was partly for books.

-Ah.
-But I'll figure it out though. It's fine.

Honor that frequency, sister.

And I will look into this grant situation
with the provost, okay?

Okay. Thanks.

♪ I'm a big stepper ♪

What it do, Nellie? How you doing?

Well, butter my behind
and call me a biscuit,

if it isn't Mr. Five Star.

Got something there
for team captain Andre?

I sure do.

-All right, baby. That'll be $345.86.
-All right, thank you.

-They ain't pay?
-You think I like quoting numbers?

Now don't play with my money.
Come on, baby.

-Yes, ma'am. You… You got tap?
-Uh-huh.

-[girl 1] Look who showed up.
-[girl 2] What's she doing here?

-[boy] No, is that her?
-[girl 3] Girl, bye.

-[girl 4] Mm-mm-mm.
-Oh, just the girl I wanted to see.

As promised, two tickets.

You sure you want me there
right now though?

I'm kinda, uh, public enemy number one.

[Shaquille] Nah, you my good luck charm.

-I need you there.
-[Deborah chuckles]

-Yeah, come on.
-I'll be there. Promise.

I'll see you later, all right?

-Bye.
-Bye.

-Baby Wayne!
-Nellie. [sighs]

You want your usual order today?

Yes, please.

-[bell rings]
-Oh Lord.

I'll get your order right to you.

I'm gonna pull you down,
so gimme a minute.

-Yeah. For sure.
-All right.

-Sis.
-[Deborah] Mm?

Think you could put in
a good word for me with Nellie

so I could start
slinging hush puppies part-time?

[laughing] Slinging hush puppies?

I basically ran my parents'
corner store, okay? I got this.

Wait, so you'd rather work at The--

The Pit than take me up
on my offer to float you?

I mean…

Honey…

if I needed a sugar daddy,
it wouldn't be you.

[upbeat music playing]

Damn. Y'all really did
y'all big one in here.

Kind of offensive considering
I'm still unhoused, but go off.

Look, we've been ordering so much,

I'm pretty sure Amazon's about to make me
a brand ambassador.

-You?
-Yeah.

Nah.

Maybe Shaquille, considering he spent
all his NIL money out on this room.

Look, that's all about to change because

I'm about to be laughing to the bank…

-Oh.
-…selling these at the game tomorrow.

-[Amir] Oh!
-[Kojo] Introducing…

-sh**t.
-…Chop Lyfe's limited edition drop,

the Five Star tee.

-Okay.
-Mm-hm.

Does Shaquille know about this?

Mm, yeah, don't tell me.
I don't need to know.

-'Cause it's giving cease and desist.
-Okay.

-[drumsticks clicking]
-[crowd cheering]

[marching band
playing "I Got 5 on It" by Luniz]

[cheering]

[announcer] Hillman College,
make some noise for your Falcons!

[crowd cheering]

[chanting] Five Star!
Five Star! Five Star!

Five Star!

[player laughing]

Five Star! Five Star!
Five Star! Five Star!

Five Star! Five Star!

[chuckles] Pretty cool, huh?

-Come on now, you hear 'em.
-Yeah, yeah.

-Awesome. I made my decision.
-I know you did.

[Coach Coles] Mm-hm.

-Shaquille?
-Yeah?

Sit your heartthrob a*s down.

-Tisdale!
-[Andre] Coach.

-You're up.
-[Andre] Word.

Hey. On me. Let's go.

[players chattering excitedly]

[players whooping]

-[Andre] On me. One, two, three.
-[players yell]

[whistle blows]

["The Big Bang" playing]

-[indistinct chattering]
-[whistle blows]

[player 1] Three.

Hut!

[players grunting]

-[player 2] Yeah?
-[player 3] Out of my face.

Tisdale is out there struggling.

I don't know what Coach is thinking,
not starting our boy Shaquille.

Boy? He's a whole man.

He's all we came here for.

[player 1] And hike! [grunts]

-[player 4] Go, go, go!
-Hold on, hold on. Andre just lofted one.

Oh, that's a dime.

-Boom! Touchdown! Let's go!
-[crowd cheering]

I love my H!
In front of my I, L, L. In front of my M.

In front of my A.

Hillman!

[upbeat music playing]

[cheering]

Hear ye, hear ye.

Ladies and gentlemen, listen,
we've got these top-of-the-line

Five Star by Chop Lyfe T-shirts.

-Uh-huh.
-Get them before they're gone.

Limited edition, 20 a pop.

Yeah, that's American dollars,
no pounds up in here.

-Cash App, Zelle, Venmo, figure it out.
-We also take pounds.

-We do take pounds, thank you.
-No, we don't. No, we don't.

Don't listen to him.

Since when does Nellie have employees
that are this fine?

-I just got hired.
-[Kojo] Hm.

Plus, I need some extra green
for my textbooks.

I low-key got caught out
in Social Movements.

On your grind?

-Mm-hm.
-That's wifey material.

-How many kids do you want?
-Uh, boy, stop. I smell like fish grease.

-Oh, fish and chips are my favorite.
-That's nasty.

[both laughing]

Nah, but for real,
I am proper proud of you.

Thank you. But I better go.

Can't get fired on my first day.

-Wow.
-[whistle blows]

Yo, listen, I don't got no money,
but I got some weed.

-Oh my God.
-Uh-uh, durag.

-Just take--
-What do you think this is?

-I'm not running a non-profit.
-It's a… It's good.

-Oh, stop it.
-Absolutely not.

-Hey. Hey!
-How much you got on you?

-I know y'all ain't bootlegging.
-Oh.

Oh, hell nah.

Oh, nah. Nah, nah.
That's 12. I cannot catch a case.

-No, I only see two.
-I'm out! I'm out!

What, we're running? Where we running?

[player] Three. Thirty-eight. Hut.

Put Shaquille in, cowards.

-What are they doing?
-Yeah!

[girl] What she said!

-[Rashida] Excuse me.
-Put him in.

-[Rashida] Sorry.
-Rashida!

-Oh. Oh.
-[Rashida] Excuse me, sorry.

I'm sorry.

[Rashida panting]

These drunk alumni,
they getting real loose with they wallets.

I mean, the tips are giving.

Oh, and Nellie asked me to cover
her breakfast shift tomorrow. [laughs]

'Cause naturally,
I'm already her star employee.

[Hazel] I know that's right.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

I mean, it's a good thing that I finished
my Social Movements assignment last night.

Ugh, same.

As triggering as that assignment was,
bell hooks made me realize

that I want to inspire other girls like me
to let their love flags fly.

No, no, no, no. Hold on. Hold on.

You both finished
Professor Brooks' assignment already?

Girl, duh, it's due Monday.

You haven't? What are--
What are you even doing here?

Not… It's not even second quarter yet.
I haven't seen Shaquille play.

-[Rashida] Okay.
-[Deborah kisses teeth]

What's more important,
your GPA or your situationship?

Right. Mm.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Kojo] Whoo. Oh.

[Amir] You don't think Boo Boo
saw us run over here?

Nah, man.

-Don't think they got security cameras?
-For selling T-shirts?

-What if they got facial recognition, man?
-That don't work on Black people.

[Kojo panting]

Bruv. [panting]

Are you good?

Um…

Look, I told y'all
I deferred my acceptance a year.

Yeah.

That's why my housing fell through,
with the shortage.

I… I spent a year in juvie.

Sorry, what?

Look, I was at the wrong place
at the wrong time,

and now if I get in any serious trouble,
it gets reported to my probation officer.

But I had to transfer my supervision
to come down here,

and this new PO is already on my a*s.

[Kojo sighs]

[gentle music playing]

Damn.

I'm sorry. That is…

-It's heavy.
-Yeah.

[Andre] Hey!

Come on, y'all. What we doing?

Come on, baby, what we doing?
Everybody need to lock in.

Can't get no passes off
without no protection.

-[clapping hands] Tap in. Let's go!
-He do not get it.

A team is only as good as its quarterback.
Ours is playing like a*s.

-[player 1 laughs]
-[Shaquille] Trash.

Hey, you got something to say? Huh?

No, I'm saying if I was the one
out there playing,

that scoreboard
would look a whole lot different.

You know, you throw one more pick
to that Dominion DB,

I swear y'all go together real bad.

Talking about holding hands,
skipping and everythin'.

You said, "If you was playing" though.
Remember, you on the bench, freshman.

You know, that's your problem, bruh.
You always worried about where I'm at.

You need to be worried about
where your receivers at.

That's why Coach Coles brought me in,
'cause you ain't handling business.

Here's the thing, superstar.
You know what the problem is?

You just sad 'cause Mommy and Daddy
can't see you play. Huh? Huh?

-[players] Ooh!
-[player 2] Yo, chill. Chill!

-[player 3] Ooh!
-[Andre grunting]

-[Andre groaning]
-[door opens]

Whoa, what's going on in here?

Huh?

Tension in here thicker than Fantasia,

who I had a thing with back in the day.

[Andre groans]

What?

-[Andre groans]
-Dre. What's wrong, son?

-Dre, you okay?
-Yeah. I'm good, Coach.

What happened?

Somebody better talk to me.

Nobody got nothin' to say?

Don't nobody know nothin'?

[knocking]

Oh. Foosball game over already?

Nope.

Just realized I need to get
my priorities straight.

I hear that.
So, what are you struggling with?

What I'm not struggling with
might be the easier one to answer.

I haven't taken a single note

in my aunt's class.

And it's… it… it's not…
it's not that I don't care, okay?

I-- I take my laptop out to take notes,
and my mind just wanders.

And I wish I could blame Davenportgate,
but the truth is,

I've been like this since high school.

I barely graduated.

And if it wasn't
for my creative portfolio,

I probably wouldn't have
gotten into Tisch.

I mean, honestly, I'm shocked
that I even got into Hillman.

I just feel…

[inhales]

…broken.

Uh… [chuckles]

Sorry, whoa, that was a lot.

When I was in high school,
my grades were trash.

It was like my brain didn't work
the way it was supposed to.

Everybody was ready
to give up on me, but my uncle,

he recognized what was really going on,
and, uh, long story short,

I got diagnosed with dyslexia.

Damn.

Are you okay?

-[chuckles] Yeah.
-[Deborah laughs]

Yeah. Yeah, um,

you know, I had to figure out
some tricks to deal with it.

Do you know the parking-lot technique?

You mean like…

[whispering] Like sex in public? 'Cause…

-No. No.
-No…

Um… [laughs]

Uh, look, when you… when you're studying,

okay, write down every distracting thought
that comes into your head,

and come back to it later.

Oh, the Pomodoro method's also great.

-Pomodoro?
-And my favorite, color coding.

-Color coding.
-Whoo!

-Love that one. [chuckles]
-I write all my notes in different colors.

[mellow music playing]

Thank you. That's…
Thank you, Ellington. [chuckles] Uh--

Um…

-Should we get into it?
-Absolutely.

[knock on door]

[mellow music continues playing]

[sighs]

What's up, baby? How you doing?

Wha-- What? You good?

What are you doing here?
It's way past curfew.

Oh, like, I took a selfie
with the girl at the front desk.

She making me a key card right now
as we speak.

Customer service here is immaculate.

-Nah, I came to see you.
-Mm.

Did you see that second half?


four touchdowns, overtime win.

-I was on fire. Yeah.
-Boy, that's crazy.

-Come here. That's crazy!
-[Shaquille chuckles]

-[Shaquille groaning]
-Wait. No, no, wait.

I-- I have a confession.

I may have bailed at halftime.

I had to meet up with my tutor.

We're trying to pull this assignment
together in time.

I'm sorry.

-Nah, it's cool.
-Mm.

[both laughing]

All good. Um…

If I'm being honest,
I'm kind of glad you missed it.

I mean, it's not exactly how I imagined
starting my college career.

-Oh, okay, come…
-[sighs] Yeah. It's…

[Deborah] Come here.

Today felt like being back at home
at the family store.

I mean, weekends were always busy, but…

we got through it together.

My granddaddy treated all his employees
like they were family. You hear me?

[Rashida chuckles]

And you're a part of that now too.

Now, could you please grab that mop
and wax them floors?

-Okay.
-Thank you.

[Rashida laughing]

-Oh God.
-Guess what.

I sold out my entire drop,

and I got you a little surprise.

-Mm-hm.
-[Rashida gasps]

-My Social Movements book?
-[Kojo chuckling]

No.

[mellow music playing]

I'm not a charity, Kojo.

[Kojo laughs]

Listen, this ain't got nuttin' to do
with charity, yeah?

-I'm trying to hit.
-Boy, shut it up!

[both laughing]

"If men were socialized to desire love
as much as they were taught to desire sex,

we'd see a cultural revolution."

bell hooks.

So in other words,
if you think that I'm that easy…

[Kojo chuckles]

…guess again.

[exhales]

[Deborah] I just wanna do well here.

-I saw the trolls trolling.
-[Deborah kisses teeth]

-Look, but they wrong though.
-[Deborah sighs]

You gotta show them who you are,
all right?

And use your words…

-Mm.
-…not your fist like me.

-I can't…
-No, you can't.

-Put 'em up?
-Nah, you're better when you're not…

[Deborah laughing]

[mellow music playing]

-[Deborah sighs]
-Uh… Uh…

Uh…

Can I stay?

Like old times?

♪ All my fault ♪

♪ All, all my fault ♪

♪ All, all my fault ♪

♪ All, all my fault ♪

♪ All my fault ♪

♪ All, all my fault… ♪

[door opens]

Oh, I think the hell not!

Not up in here you don't.
Abort mission! Abort mission!

Stranger danger!

You so damn big. What? What?

That's my good wig.

[phone buzzes]

[muttering under breath]

[chuckles]

[tender music playing]

[banging on door]

Who banging on the door like that?

Yo--

[clears throat] What's up? What up, Coach?

What's up?

Damn, son.

Dirty as hell in here. It don't matter.

If you keep playing the way you did
in the second half on Saturday,

you gonna be the league's next…

Well, me.

[laughs] Well, I'll take it.
Appreciate-- Appreciate that, Coach.

Yeah, yeah. Uh, listen, Andre is, uh--
He gonna be out several weeks.

-Fractured wrist.
-Weeks?

Yeah. Anything I need to know here,
Shaquille?

Nah.

Well, then, congrats.

You're our new starting quarterback.
I'll see you tomorrow, right?

A'ight, yeah, I'm there.

And, uh, crack a window.

Smell like underachievement
and shame in here.

[door opens, closes]

[Rashida exhales]

-My book, as promised. [laughs]
-Hey!

And as I promised, I looked into
the grant situation. [inhales]

Unfortunately, the school isn't
in a position to restore the balances.

However,

I pulled some strings in my department,

and we are awarding you
with a stipend scholarship

to cover the grant you lost.

Oh! [exhales sharply]

-Professor, thank you.
-Yes. [laughs]

-Oh!
-[laughs] You are welcome.

-[Rashida gasps]
-[Freddie chuckling]

-[door creaks open, closes]
-Hey, hey, hey.

Okay, earthlings.

We have a lot of presentations
to get through, so let's dive right in.

Deborah, you kick us off.

Okay.

All right.

So, according to bell hooks,

lovelessness is a symptom
of a culture of denomination,

and so I guess the question is, as…
as Ashanti once pondered…

[chuckles] "What's love
got to do with it?"

-Bruh, isn't that Tina Turner?
-[girl] Right?

-[Freddie] Hey.
-I love that song.

-Yeah.
-[Freddie] Okay, okay.

hooks did not excavate
the truths of our time

to hear them mumbled.

Put those cards down.

Take your time, and speak from your soul.

[exhales]

Okay.

Look, I'll be real.

When I first got this assignment, it felt…

inaccessible.

But then I'm scrolling last night,
and I see this video of this kid

getting jumped on the Metro.

And I watched all of it,

then just… kept scrolling.

And I realized, um,

for the first time just how numb

I've been…

[gentle music playing]

…my whole life.

So-- So I guess that's the point, right,
of this assignment?

When we can't feel, we stop resisting,
we become complicit.

[Deborah chuckles]

Or-- Or on the other end of things
completely, we…

attack…

and pile on.

But hooks says love

is action.

And I know a lot of folks
have a lot of opinions

about my choice to call out
President Davenport at convocation.

-[Rashida] Mm.
-Say what you will.

At least I felt something.

And I had to act on it.

So call me whatever you want.

Plant… [chuckles]

…nepo baby, entitled.

Just don't call me Debra.

Dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang.

-[Amir] All right.
-[all clapping]

-[Hazel] I always believed in you.
-[Freddie] Yes!

[Amir] I'm proud of you, girl.

I'm proud of you, homie.

[Davion] Okay, I'm not saying I was wrong,

but I may have spoken too soon
about Debra Wayne.

If these rumors are true
about President Davenport,

it's giving six-part
true crime docu-series.

[in unison] It's like Debra said,
"Where's the money?"

-Okay, y'all.
-[can thuds]

LeDebbie was right.

My homegirl work in financial aid,

and what Jaquetta--

What my homegirl had told me
is this is bigger than government cuts.

The streets is saying Davenport
was low-key embezzling.

Is this true?

Well, it's not exactly embezzling per se,

but it has become clear that Davenport
was… mismanaging funds.

-[Freddie scoffs]
-Yeah.

And with the federal cuts,

Hillman is in the red
to the tune of 100 million dollars.

-What?
-Yeah.

If we don't get major donors
to fill the gaps,

I don't know how Hillman's gonna survive.

-This is crazy. This is crazy.
-I know.

-[Dwayne] Mm. Mm.
-[door opens, closes]

["I Got 5 on It" by Luniz
feat. Michael Marshall playing]

♪ Player, give me some brew
And I might just chill ♪

♪ But I'm the type that like to light
Another joint like Cypress Hill ♪

♪ I steal doobies, spit loogies
When I puff on it ♪

♪ I got some bucks on it
But it ain't enough on it ♪

♪ Go get the S, the T-I-D-E-S ♪

♪ Nevertheless, I'm hella fresh
Rolling joints like the cigarette ♪

♪ So pass it 'cross the table
Like ping-pong ♪

♪ I'm gone
Beating my chest like King Kong ♪

♪ It's on, wrap my lips around a 40 ♪

♪ And when it comes
To getting another stogie ♪

♪ Fools all kick in like Shinobi ♪

♪ No, he ain't my homie to begin with ♪

♪ It's too many heads to be popping
To let my friend hit bit ♪

♪ Unless you pull out
The fat, crispy 5 dollar bill ♪

♪ On the real before it's history ♪

♪ 'Cause fools be having
Them vacuum lungs ♪

♪ And if you let 'em hit it for free
You hella dumb-da-dumb-dumb ♪

♪ I come to school
With a Taylor on my earlobe ♪

♪ Avoidin' all the thick teasers
Skeezers and weirdos ♪

♪ That be blowin' off the land
Like, "Where the b*mb at?" ♪

♪ Give me two bucks, you take a puff
And pass my b*mb back ♪

♪ Suck up that dank like a Slurpee ♪

♪ The serious b*mb will make a niggy
Go delirious like Eddie Murphy ♪

♪ I got more Growing Pains than Maggie ♪

♪ 'Cause homies nag me
To take the dank out of the baggie ♪

-♪ I got 5 on it ♪
-♪ Got it good ♪

♪ Grab your 4 and let's get keyed ♪

♪ I got 5 on it ♪

♪ Messin' with that Indo weed ♪

-♪ I got 5 on it ♪
-♪ Got it good ♪

♪ It's got me stuck and I'm tore back ♪

♪ I got 5 on it ♪

♪ Partner, let's go-- ♪