Best Boy (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Your father had strict instructions.

First, that I recite this proverb.

The family is not an important thing.

It is everything.

And second, that as the oldest male,

his son Lawrence speak on behalf of the

family.

I tried to...

He's too big.

But he picked me.

is so gloomy well i'm so lonely lonely

for you

i don't know what to do please my baby

I would have done something different.

He didn't pick you.

We used to do this drive all the time.

Remember?

I do.

That's great.

There he f*cking is.

This wasn't in the will?

He gave it to me after that was all in

order.

Why would he give it to you?

To my boys, Lawrence, Philip, and Eli.

From the moment you were born, I have

molded you in my image.

Now I'm gone, and you must carry out my

legacy.

I've shown you how to be a selling man,

how to be strong, how to be men.

I don't want a shiver.

Sitting around is for losers.

I want you to compete for $100,000.

This is my tribute.

With no other option, your mother must

take my place as judge.

One of you will get this money by

competition's end.

Once and for all, one of you will be

crowned the best boy.

And it's notarized by our attorney.

You didn't know anything about this?

We can't. We're adults now.

I hated what it did to all of you,

but... It's what Dad wants.

It's been a long day.

Let's talk in the morning.

It's nice having you all together like

this.

It's been far too long.

But you know I don't drink that stuff.

Would you care to join us, Phil?

No, but thank you.

I give you a day, two tops.

It never takes too long to fall apart.

I'm doing really good, actually.

So where's Leia and the kids?

They're great. They couldn't make it.

That's great.

Hey, what are you doing? Rule number

three, no affection.

I thought now that he's gone.

That the rules are, too? They're all we

have left.

Well, I'm in.

Obviously.

We're not.

Why do you want this?

Because I do, okay?

Well, I don't.

I'll take the bus back in the morning.

You're gonna win.

It's yours.

It's f*cking yours.

You're gonna win.

You're gonna win.

You're gonna win.

You're gonna win.

Well, you were leaving.

Does this mean you've all decided?

No, it doesn't. I decided I was in last

night, so did Eli.

The race is first, if I remember

correctly.

I don't know, Juan. Let's go.

You can just be the boys if you want to

leave.

Toi qui dcide.

May the best boy win!

Ready!

Thank you.

You read Hebrew?

From memory.

Good job, honey.

Thank you, Mom.

I lost, so I am a loser.

I haven't seen Lior and Asher in quite

some time.

Oh, work's cool.

You know how it is.

No, in fact, I don't.

Explain it to me.

It's odd.

They couldn't make it to their

grandfather's funeral.

Philip, how is your alcohol addiction

going?

I don't drink anymore, Mom.

I haven't had a drink in over a year.

And where are you now?

You move around so much, it's hard to

keep track.

Squamish.

And what are you up to all the way out

there?

Well,

I'm... You know, I'm sort of between

things at the moment.

Is that code for unemployed?

It's a pity I don't get to see you

either.

Thank God, I have my darling Eli.

So, ready for the truth?

Why are we here?

Money.

There's no money.

How do you know?

The house is falling down.

They haven't gotten a new car in over

ten years. The business is fine.

I live with them.

I broke.

If there's no money, then why are you

here?

I want to win.

The truth.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the

annual Seligman Best Boy

Truth Contest!

Will the contestants please come to the

stage?

The eldest may begin.

Dad only wanted boys, so he had a girl

he called her Phillip.

Eli hated that music Dad made us listen

to so much he hid cotton ba*ls in his

underwear to stuff in his ears.

After Dad hit us, Salonce would go to

his room, hide in the corner, and hit

himself.

Switch. Eli wet his bed until he was 11.

I don't know, maybe he still does. Do

you?

When she was 12, Philip started drinking

vodka from the liquor cabinet and

filling it up with water.

Because Dad forbade masturbation,

Lawrence would sneak in the laundry room

and do it every night when he thought we

were all sleeping.

Switch. Philip lives in the middle of

nowhere because she can't face anything.

Eli's 36 and still lives at home.

Lawrence thinks he runs the business,

but really, it's Mom.

Switch. When he was young, Eli was so

afraid of me that he would hide for

hours. One time, we had to call the

police just to find him. Philip ran away

from home when she was 15 for five

months, and when she got back, Dad put

her in a mental institution.

When he was 10, Lawrence would cry in my

lap every night because he was afraid

Dad didn't love him. Switch.

Philip has done zip, zilch, absolutely

nothing with her whole life because in

her heart, she knows she's a f*cking

loser.

The youngest may begin.

Lawrence has no friends.

Eli hasn't had sex in 10 years.

Dad sent Lawrence on the road so we

wouldn't have to see him at work. Dad

let Eli stay at home because he knows

he's completely useless.

Dad thought Lawrence was bad at his job.

Dad thinks Eli is sh*t at literally

every f*cking thing. The last time we

did Best Boy, Lawrence almost k*lled

Phillip. And to get away, she swam to

the middle of the lake and spent the

whole night there. And the next day, she

fell into a coma.

And when she woke up, she was never the

same, and neither was Lawrence.

You are weak.

Good job, darling.

Sorry. Go f*ck yourself!

Rule number two, no crying!

So I move.

What? Is there something you want to

say?

Stop, Lawrence!

Maybe I should have strangled you

instead, Big Mouth.

You're really hurting me.

I'm telling Mom!

Turn it off!

Do not f*cking touch it!

Turn it on, sweetheart.

It's a bit late for that.

Bonne nuit, mes amours.

Where'd you get this?

On the counter.

Were you in my room last night?

Still doing payroll at the company?

How many employees are there now?

Six.

Including Dad, Mom, you, and Lawrence?

Yeah.

Is that taking up most of your week?

Do you want to know why I want to do it?

I was too young back then.

It's my turn now. My time to prove that

I'm the best. Why? Because Dad said so?

Do you think it's good that you still

live at home?

They protect me.

From what?

Dad knows what's best.

He always has.

Did he know what's best when he made us

strip naked and yell that we're losers

when we were ten?

Why do you think you're like this?

Like what?

But look at you.

Okay.

Any job prospects?

No, not right now.

Boyfriend?

No. Anything on the horizon at all?

Seems like you've got it all figured

out.

Mom? Hi, sweetheart.

I don't know what to think about that.

What's up, baby?

When you were in school, we were needing

braces, and Lady did read to the

kitchen, and that's losing the cord wall

again. I just feel a little underwater

right now. I know, I know.

A little bit of money, and I would catch

up, and I would just never be able to

breathe. I understand, sweetheart.

Of course.

About the competition and what are

you... I think you will compete

just like the others.

I like it when your hair is out of your

face like that.

You look good.

Thanks.

Momo.

Can I have a hug?

But why?

I'm sure the boys want to keep on going,

but do you think we should stop?

But why?

You can always leave.

Isn't that your specialty?

You make it so easy.

I think I'm gonna stop being such a

b*tch.

f*ck YOU!

Are you kidding me? You have a big d*ck,

you have a big beautiful c*ck, and

everybody knows it. You run the largest

road-sold wholesaler in Quebec.

You run that sh*t.

Quebec company, you run.

He put you in charge.

He's not mom, not mom.

You, you're the m*therf*cking CEO.

Stop being such a f*cking b*tch.

Do nothing sad, sad f*ck. Yes.

Is that how dad raised you? No. Is that

how dad raised you? No. You gonna win

this for him? Yes.

Yeah.

You gonna win this for f*cking dad?

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's f*cking...

when this one is over.

Same here.

If either of you win this one, I'm

k*lling myself.

Don't hurt yourselves.

It's only money.

Money's real, right?

Of course.

Of course.

Okay, it's over.

Get your brother.

Lawrence, it's over.

You won.

Stop f*cking around.

Get him out. Now.

Good job, sweetheart.

Thanks, Mom.

Was it a strip?

No. It was sick then, and it's sick now.

I don't think it's good that he made us

do that.

You almost just died. So?

So we need to stop right now.

Why?

Because I'm not f*cking doing it. That's

why.

I'm not doing it either.

No. No!

This is the way Dad wanted. We're not

changing anything.

Mama? Mama?

You kids should sort this out

yourselves.

the money's even real.

Your father's letter.

Signature looked off to me.

He was so far gone by that point, he

could barely lift his arm.

Maybe he wrote it.

You don't trust your own mother.

You know all the angles, don't you, Mom?

What do you mean, sweetheart?

Don't you think this has gone far

enough?

What, honey?

Something's not right here.

I agree.

Then put a stop to it. It's my decision?

You're the parent.

Why does that matter now, all of a

sudden?

None of you listened to me back then.

Where are you in all of this?

You say you hate Bassaboy, but you seem

to be having a pretty good time with

that cape on.

Easy to say.

She doesn't love you, can't you tell?

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, what Eli said, that wasn't

true.

I barely remember the night that, uh, in

the forest where I scared you to death.

You almost k*lled me.

No, no, no, it's just a scratch.

Besides, what you said that night, that

wasn't true.

You're the one that Dad hated, not me.

He used to think, uh, he said you were

worthless.

Yeah.

He was right.

Hmm.

Or then, and you are now. I mean, look

at you.

See, I got a good job.

And I have a beautiful wife.

And I have two amazing kids.

You... Well,

you couldn't even hold your breath the

longest.

You used to always win that one, huh?

Wait, wait, one last thing.

How's your sobriety going this time

around?

Baby, it's slow When

lights go low

There's no help,

no

Why don't you love me?

If I check the handle, you'll die.

Mr. LeBlanc, it's Lawrence Seligman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what time it

is. Listen, I just have one question.

Does my mother have access to $100,000?

I called the lawyer.

He never heard of any f*cking letter.

It's true?

Yeah, he also said that there's no way

you have that kind of money. He wouldn't

know about Cass your father squirreled

away, would he?

What's that?

It's for the money.

It's in there.

Yeah, no.

Bullshit. I knew who you were calling.

And I knew you'd come back.

You don't give up that easy.

Hey, you know where it is.

It's where the competition ends.

Isn't this just like him?

Only makes sense the lawyer would know,

right?

Why say it was an unraised demon?

Make sure you all bought in.

And you did.

Why should I trust you?

Everything I do is for you kids.

Mom? Mom?

Mommy!

Mommy!

Where were you? What the hell happened?

Where's mom?

She's not here?

We thought she was with you.

She f*cking took the money.

Where was it? Lawrence, where's Mom? I

don't know! What do you mean you don't

know? How do you know she took the

money?

I called the lawyer.

He never heard of me, Larry. He didn't

know what the f*ck I was talking about.

So I speed back here. Mom thinks that

Dad buried money on the forest

somewhere. So we go digging for a couple

hours. She's like, take a rest. And she

must have found the money because when I

woke up, she was gone. I told you there

is no money!

Well, Mom said there was!

I didn't do something to Mom.

Because I'm telling you I didn't.

You look like sh*t.

Yeah, because I've been digging a hole

for seven hours. What happened to your

ankle? I fell.

Oh, okay, okay.

You want to talk about who's losing it?

Let's talk about you pissing on my

drawing from grade two. How about that?

It was you.

You spat on my clothes.

You what?

Oh.

You wasted just like you were when you

were 60. I didn't drink.

I'm better now.

Different.

Right.

Just do it. Just go ahead.

I can't really go through that much.

You sure?

We're not normal adults.

I'm doing great.

Philip's right. It wasn't good for us.

What wasn't good for us? Don't. Don't.

Loser's strip?

No. Best boy, the rules?

Disagree. All of it! It's dead!

You know it's dead!

No! We've been at this way long enough

and look at us! Seriously!

Stop it!

He's gonna be fine.

It's just a scratch.

You okay, pal?

Well, I'm fine.

That is really... I'm really sorry about

this. No, it's okay.

I mean, who could blame you?

I'm glad you see it that way because I

didn't mean... I just was trying to keep

you quiet a little bit. You were saying

stuff I didn't want to hear.

You understand, right?

Oh, yeah. For sure. You always know

what's best.

Well, I don't know about that.

You really think so?

Yeah.

I've always looked up to you.

Really?

You've been a role model for me in so

many ways.

You took over Dad's business, and you

built a family.

You taught me how to lead.

to hear you say that, really.

I have to get away.

And this is where you ended up.

Here. With me.

I have to get back.

What are you talking about?

I'm going the same way. No, it's okay.

Get in the car!

No!

You're the one walking down the road in

the... in the middle of the night.

I can't come with you.

You sure?

Yes.

You look familiar.

So do you.

Do I know you?

I know that Dad won.

I know that Dad won.

Huh?

So he's breathing fine

Grab his legs

Okay. I just, just to say, I, I, I

really, um, I respect the time and

energy you put into your sobriety.

I know, I know. Listen, listen. I'm your

big brother. You gotta listen to me now.

You're gonna get back there.

You're right back there. You're strong

and, and you, whatever I can do to help,

uh, you know, starting with not taunting

you and offering you booze.

I appreciate that.

Thank you. And, you know, whatever is

going on with Leia and the kids, you can

turn things around.

If you care about anything, it's family.

This feels pretty good, huh?

What? Oh.

You know, you and me.

It doesn't have to be the way it was.

They come up more often, right?

Yes.

We could be there for each other. Yes,

yes, yes, yes, for sure.

And spend time together. No, yes,

exactly.

My kids don't even know they're in

Phillip, and they should.

I would like that. I would like that,

too.

Hey. Huh?

It's the first time we ever said that to

each other. And?

Rule number one, know I love you. I

know, but doesn't it feel f*cking

amazing?

It's not too late for you to change.

Why do I need to change?

You have anger issues?

Like, Dad?

It's not even your fault.

I don't have anger issues. Neither did

Dad. We just know what it is to run a

family. The rest of you, they can't stay

in line. I was just being honest, like

before. Yeah, no, no.

Me too.

See, now it seems to me like you're the

one with the issues.

But you just said... I knew you'd fall

apart.

It's just like Dad said. You are weak.

I mean, have you ever had, like, a

normal, healthy relationship?

Have you ever had a normal, healthy

anything ever?

You know why? Because you're sad.

And people can smell it on you.

And you're sad because you think life's

been so hard because of us, but you

wonder if it's you.

Maybe you're the problem.

You're the only reason for your own

pitiful misery.

Your entire life is a lie.

Every decision you've ever made has been

wrong.

Your wife is wrong.

Your kids are wrong.

You can't face anything.

When people see you, they see one big

joke.

You think you're better than me.

I am better than you.

Nobody made you come back here. Nobody

made you compete. And yet, you look

pretty happy to me when you won that

race.

You want to win this thing just as bad

as I do. The only difference between you

and me is that I know who I am.

I'm nothing like you.

You're exactly like me. Me and you,

we're the same. No, we're not.

The problem is, I never cared what Dad

thought.

But you did.

That's why you tried to k*ll me that

night in the forest.

You knew it was true.

He hated you.

He thought you were a f*cking loser.

And deep, deep, deep, deep down inside,

you know it.

Is this what love is supposed to feel

like?

Ever since that night in the forest...

The thing I've wanted most in my entire

life is to k*ll you.

There's nobody around.

Go away.

Right.

Does this mean I should k*ll you then?

f*cking finally!

The

name

is Amour.

Where's the money, Mom?

Sit. No.

Sit down!

There's no money.

And that's because we don't have any.

We've been in the red for years.

You of all people should know that,

right?

Where did you go?

You hadn't seen each other in so long.

I wanted to give you time to reconnect.

Biz Boy was your father's way.

It's time to let go of him, of his way

of seeing the world.

Says who?

Me.

Your mother.

This is my family now.

Dad made us who we are.

Exactly.

You lost it.

I'm trying to save all of you. We don't

need saving.

I washed your sheets.

I know you still wet the bed.

And it's been 13 years, not 10, since

you've had sex.

Never had a job.

Not a real one.

Never made a decision for yourself once

in your life.

You know nothing about the business you

run.

A second mortgage on a house, a third.

Who do you think kept it going all these

years?

You.

You and your father would screw up.

And I'd be left to clean up the mess.

I've propped you up your whole life.

And you didn't even notice.

You just thought you were great.

You're not.

What about me, Mom?

You left. So long ago.

I have to get bits of Dunes from Eli.

I really don't know very much at all

about who you are, but the one thing I

know is that you never changed your

name.

You're still Philip Seligman.

You blame us for what you've become.

But you can't leave us behind either.

You can't let go of the past.

We're fine.

Right?

Very well.

Let's finish what we've started.

but there's no money you knew that all

along

you all did

Of course I love you.

You're my son.

It was selfish of me to keep you so

close.

All these years living with your father.

I've always been jealous of you.

Of me?

Why?

Because you got away.

Why didn't you leave?

I wasn't as brave as you.

I didn't know I could.

You've got to get up. You've got to get

up.

You've got to get up.

You've got to get up.

Yes, well... YES!

Give me that f*cking feather. Lawrence,

it's just a game. No, it's not.

Lawrence, stop.

Stop.

Did you...

Did you ever think of having me in your

little secret whisper club?

I can't breathe.

Oh, you two are so close, eh?

I tried to k*ll myself after he died.

My kids think I'm an as*h*le.

They want a divorce.

I just went to sh*t after I took it over

from Dad.

Oh, I know I'm a loser. I'm not a moron.

Lawrence, I didn't mean what I... I'm

like a worse version of him.

Okay, yeah, no, no, let's go let's Let's

finish it. Yeah, no

We're done Before one of us really gets

hurt Lawrence. No, no, no what no

there's gotta be a winner Because dad

would never allow a tie you want us to

say you win no problem, right? I mean no

no no not like that. No, no

I'm not gonna hurt you.

But you're gonna hurt me.

You're full of sh*t. No. No. I swear.

I'm not.

Look.

See?

I... Hey, where are you going?

I'm making a decision.

Come back!

What do you think?

No.

I want this.

I want this just as bad as you do.

It's wrong.

It finishes just the way it started that

night.

Listen, listen, listen. In your heart,

you know this is the most right thing

you've ever done in your whole life.

Yeah?

I can't do that.

This is who we are, Phillip.

This is us, Philip!

No, it's not. This is what Dad would

want!

You were right.

Where's Philip your sister will make her

own way

One

last

thing

Let's go home.

Who won?