05x08 - Certified Boogeyman

[bunniefuu]

If that report comes back and says that you have anything

to do with my sh**ting, you will be drowning in your own blood.

Previously on All the Queen's Men.

I sure would like to put frosting on that cake.

Man, somebody keyed my car.

Damn. And they slashed your tires, too.

It's a pretty standard contract.

Okay, I'm in.

You know how good I am with it?

I can't wait to see you again.

Let's go. Pissy. Elliott, you made bail.

Who in the hell set my bail for me?

I ain't going nowhere with these n*gg*s.

Aw, don't be like that, Carla.

We were nice enough to post your bond.

The least you can do is come outside and talk to us.

I ain't gotta do sh*t but stay black and die.

Hmm, one out of two ain't bad. Now, come on, Carla.

I'm sure these nice people got stuff to do.

[Carla sighs]

Hey, hey, Put me back in my cell.

-I wanna do my time. -What is your problem, Carla?

Why are you so adamant about staying in jail

when I just said you can go free?

Yeah Carla, why are you adamant?

Maybe you wanna give a statement

about Madam and Detective Davis can get it on record.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is she talking about?

Do you know what happened to your sister?

I don't know sh*t.

I don't know nothing. Oh, but I know what...

Did I make bail?

So I don't have to talk to neither of you m*therf*ckers.

[theme song]

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ They know not to play with me they know I get it started ♪

♪ Asking will I take it easy, told 'em that it's hard ♪

♪ Asking will I quit, oh no sir I beg your pardon ♪

♪ They sayin' dat it's light but I'll turn ♪

♪ This b*tch to darkness [darkness] ♪

♪ It go up, we don't play around ♪

♪ I won't play about my dinero [dinero] ♪

♪ Got some gangsters in the cut now [cut now] ♪

♪ And they're doing what I say so ♪

Now tree pose.

Open up a little more for me. And take a deep breath.

Good. Now big exhale.

-How does that feel? -[Madam] Amazing.

Nobody answered at the--

No, Enzo, it's fine. That's my attorney.

That's good.

Hey Lovett. Let us have a room.

Yes, Madam.

How's the recovery going?

[groaning]

Is that a hickey on your neck?

Oh, no. Crazy weekend.

I went through the farm contract cover to cover.

Mm-hmm.

Everything seems to be in order.

It just needs your signature at the tabs

and you're good to go.

That's what I like to hear.

Congratulations. You are now the owner of M and D Farms.

Thank you very much.

On your way out, go get Enzo's fine a*s.

I'm ready for some downward facing doggy style.

♪

[Tommy] Don't worry, I got her.

You thought you was slick, didn't you?

Trying to hide in the jail.

-Listen, I can explain. -Explain what?

How you shot your sister?

Yeah, that's some diabolical sh*t, you dirty.

What you think you gonna do, bull d*ke. Let me go.

I'll beat your a*s so bad, you'll be back like a dingling.

[laughs] No. I gotta see this sh*t.

Come on, Carla.

Let me see what them diabolical hands can do.

Come on!

Let me go.

-Oh! -Damn, you slumped her.

Hey, Carla. Guess I still like girls, huh?

I didn't know you had a right like that.

Get her a*s.

You see this? This is a pawn.

A pawn could easily be sacrificed.

Just depends on how you're moving.

You see this right here?

This is a bishop. Yeah, he like to be in control.

Now, see this one right here?

This is a knight.

Do you... Do you know what the knight's job is?

You're not even trying.

Saving damsels is in distress?

No, everybody know the night was for protection.

See, that's the problem with black people.

They don't never like to learn.

I-- I like to learn. Please, keep going.

It's fascinating.

[laughs] It is quite a fascinating game.

You see, most people think the king

is the most important piece on the table.

But he's not. No, they'll be mistaken.

See, the queen, she's the most important piece on the board.

You see that h*? She can move any way she want.

Yeah, the queen, the queen is the one.

You're no queen, Ms. Tandy.

And I see you reaching for that lamp.

Don't make me f*ck you up.

Now, put your hands in your pocket

before I bite your thumbs off.

It's not easy to do. I can do it.

I'll bite your thumb right between that cartilage

right there and stab that some b*tch right off.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Pay attention.

This is a fascinating game.

[exhaling]

I didn't know you know how to fix sh*t.

Come on, man. I got all kind of skills

you ain't know I have, man.

But pass me that Phillips right quick, bro.

Don't you find it interesting how one screwdriver is named

after somebody and the other one is just called a flathead?

That one's named after somebody, too. John C. Flathead.

-You for real? -Nah, fool.

Give me the dang on screwdriver, bruh.

[chuckling]

All right.

Now, these keyless locks are right here

are pretty secure, so you should be good, man.

-Appreciate you, bro. -Man, no problem, man.

If anybody know about crazy females, it's me, bro.

Hey, you got the instructions to the doorbell camera, man?

Nah, man, it should be easy to put this staying together,

Man, I'm surprised you just now get one.

I got g*ns. I don't need no camera.

You gonna need more than that, bro.

She got up in here, stabbed you about

a thousand times, bro.

-Come on now. -It was only eight.

Besides, she ain't gonna catch me slipping again.

Yo, let's check out this camera, all right?

Okay.

All right.

-Oh, yeah. -Check that angle out.

See clear? Night. Days.

Tell me you got good news from me.

If by good news you mean our city's

highest elected official is not the sh**ter, then yes.

-Did you double check? -Triple checked it.

Was she your main suspect?

Not anymore.

These are the last two.

Well, good luck. Let me know if I can be any more help.

You wanna tell me where that blood

came from on your shirt?

[inaudible]

I work in the kitchen. Around a lot of knives.

Hey. I came to turn myself in.

I'm not going with these n*gg*s.

I'll be damned.

[dogs barking]

Get me out of this f*cking chair.

Or what?

Or you'll piss all over the place like you did

at the police station? You dirty b*tch.

Go right ahead. You see how that worked out for you?

Why did you sh**t Madam?

I want to talk to Marilyn.

You gonna talk to us.

So answer the damn question, you silver-back b*tch.

I ain't telling you sh*t.

I said I want to talk to my sister.

You are in no position to make demands.

No?

If you hurt me, she gonna k*ll you.

No if she finds out that you the one that shot her.

Get out of my face.

Your breath smell like dirty p*ssy.

Ah! [sobbing]

Now cut the bullshit. Tell us how you got this.

You really are as dumb as you look.

It's a scratch.

-And now. -[screaming]

This could be a whole lot easier if you told me the truth.

I'm not talking to you. Get my sister.

She don't want to talk, Tommy. That's fine,

But your a*s is going to scream.

[tense music]

[screaming]

[bird chirps]

[baby crying]

Mm. I'm glad to see you making some healthy choices.

Yeah, avocados are supposed to be the good fat.

Back in my day, all fat was bad.

I know it could be a little confusing,

but that's nice, you're doing good.

So are you sticking with your medication?

Yes, and I'm taking it every night before I go to bed.

Good.

What about rest, huh? You getting enough rest?

-Yes. -Okay.

And I am sleeping like a baby, thank you very much.

[indistinct]

That's good to know because....

I really want us to be a family,

You know, like you and me and Dime.

Ah, yes. The lovely Dime.

[indistinct]

So, are you....

Gonna do right by her?

Yeah, I actually...

I got her a ring.

What? You got her a ring?

Okay, let me see a picture.

Actually, I got better than that.

What you mean?

-Mmm. -Oh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, and this is beautiful.

Oh, she is gonna love this.

-[chuckling] -I hope so, mom.

I'm... I'm nervous.

-Oh. -Yeah.

Oh, baby, that's because she means something to you,

that's why.

Yeah, I know.

She really, really does.

All right, it's probably getting a little late.

Mm, mm, I'm gonna get out of here.

Okay.

I gotta run a few errands before work, so.

-Okay. -All right.

Hey, call me later, though.

Of course.

Just leave this here.

-Okay. -Yeah, I got you.

-Okay, cool. -Bye, honey.

-Love you. -Love you, too.

Excuse me, Can you take this mess away?

Bring me some chicken and waffles. It's nasty.

And a mimosa. Asap.

[electronic voice] Welcome to your guided

meditation experience

for accessing memories.

All right, this sh*t better work.

[electronic voice]We'll start with three deep inhales.

Breathe in for five, four,

three, two, one.

And exhale for five, four,

three, two, one.

[dramatic music]

[phone buzzing]

What the f*ck do you want?

[Smoke] Damn, this is good.

Ain't no black people eat sourdough.

Want a bite?

-I'm not. -You sure?

Yeah. Thank you.

Okay.

Well,

maybe your last meal.

It's up to you.

You haven't eaten since yesterday.

-I know you're hungry. -I'm fine.

Well, sometimes everybody gotta have a--

An opportunity to repent.

Look at it this way.

At least you have the opportunity to do that.

Now, you're running out of time.

So I suggest you pray or do whatever it is that you do.

[phone buzzing]

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Oh, nothing. Just here eating sourdough, playing chess.

Okay.

Okay. I got you. Madam.

Thank you.

Bad news?

Please, I don't want to die.

No, no, no.

Not bad news for you but bad news for me.

I don't get to k*ll you today.

You get to live after all.

The g*n came back clean.

Ah! That was close, wasn't it?

All right, sourdough.

You... you got a b*llet in that picture.

You might want to get that looked at.

There's more where that came from.

You ready to talk yet?

I... I... I got [indistinct] to say.

Finally. So what you got to say?

f*ck you.

-f*ck you. -[Blue] Carla, Carla, Carla.

That smart a*s mouth of yours is gonna get you k*lled.

Ah! [crying]

Cut the bullshit, Carla, and just admit it.

Admit you did it.

Even if I...

Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

Try us.

How about I guess.

You loaded up a g*n, aimed it at your sister,

and then mustered up enough courage to pull the trigger,

huh?

Get my sister.

This b*tch think I'm playing with her?

If she wanna play...

-[Carla] No. -Let's play.

What the f*ck! No!

No, don't scream b*tch.

I'm about to make you uglier than you already are.

I shot her. I shot her.

I knew you did.

Madam's gonna enjoy k*lling you.

But you don't understand.

That ain't for us to understand.

We lead our sh*t for Madam.

[Carla sobbing]

Hey! I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, my God.

Whoa, whoa. What's up with you?

I can breathe. I can relax again.

I'm so happy.

Oh, you sipping already?

I'm drinking. I'm alive.

And I didn't sh**t Madam.

Oh, yeah? How do you know?

Listen, look.

Look at that painting right there. You see it?

You see that b*llet?

There was only one b*llet in my g*n.

Oh, yeah, you was drunk as hell that night.

You was trying to sh**t a fly

and missed and shot that painting.

Wait,

you knew about that?

Yeah, I saw it happen,

but then I left because I wasn't trying to catch the next b*llet.

You little b*stard.

You knew I didn't sh**t Madam this whole time.

Mm, I don't know what you did after I left,

but congrats on beating that rap.

All right, well, I'm going to go

to the guest room and get some rest.

You should do the same. You look tired as hell.

And lock that g*n up when you drinking.

[Tandy laughing]

Okay? It's all good now. You can come in.

But don't be making a whole bunch of noise now or later.

My auntie's sleeping.

[knocks on door]

-Oh! -Hello.

Tony? Amp's not here.

I know. I came to see you.

Huh.

What are you doing here?

Well, I had lunch with Amp today

and he mentioned that he wants us all

to get along, so I brought you this,

Okay? Is that it?

Because I'm getting ready for work.

Look, I'm trying here, okay?

Well, you can try somewhere else

because I'm not falling for that crappy fed your son.

Excuse me? Watch a tone.

This is my house,

so my tone will be whatever I want it to be.

Amp seems to want you back in his life, so I'll play nice.

But that's far as this is gonna go.

Look, I don't give two shits about you either,

but my son wants me to make an effort with you.

Okay, well, unfortunately for you,

it's not just about what Amp wants.

-I don't trust you. -[scoffs] Well, good to know.

Because I don't trust you either.

You don't know anything about me.

Just like you don't know anything about your son.

Well, I know he's had better women than you,

and I'd rather be bringing one of them a basket, but,

here we are, so.

For Amp's sake, I'm just gonna smile and play nice.

You can keep your cheap a*s baskets.

I don't want sh*t from you.

And as far as your son goes, I will be civil.

But if you hurt him again, I'm coming for you.

Get your hands off of.

Huh.

You gotta come into you.

Mark my words.

Trash, you gotta come into you.

Okay, dusty a*s, lying a*s, dirty a*s. b*tch.

♪

That's the last time I let you choose a movie.

Don't act like you ain't like it.

I seen that teardrop when that baby turned into a zombie.

I was not crying.

Yes, you was all extra emotional.

And I saw you jump a little bit.

You jumped like times when you got scared.

No, no, no. I was not scared.

I was just cold.

-You cold? -Yeah.

-You cold? -A little bit.

You want my jacket?

Okay.

Here, put that thing on.

-You know... -That's okay?

-Thank you. -Your welcome.

I like this chivalrous side of you.

-You do? -Yeah.

Well, you ain't see all my sides yet.

Oh, yeah. Like what?

Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

Man, long story short, she threw up on my d*ck.

-Oh, bro, that's disgusting. -I know.

So you two moonlighting and trying to cut me out?

Don't look at each other. Answer the question.

Nah, Madam, we would never do that.

Then what the f*ck is this Midnight Rendezvous sh*t?

That's my app. It's just a prototype.

It's not even supposed to be out yet.

Why am I finding out about this on an ad

and not from you directly, huh?

We was just trying to work out the kinks.

And I was gonna get investors lined up

-before I brought it to you. -Investors?

Wait a minute. You came up with

a money making idea from my club using my VIPs

and you took it to someone else?

-I was just a model. -[Madam] Uh-uh.

You are just as guilty as he is.

Night I named you, I made you.

And I own all of you.

You do not do sh*t behind my back. Understood?

Yes, Madam.

Before you go, get with me very soon,

let me know about this f*cking side business.

Yes, Madam.

Just a model. n*gga, for real?

I don't want to get into it with Madam?

That sh*t did look cool, though, didn't it?

I know, right?

But I didn't know Virgie was releasing it already.

Let me call her.

[on phone]The number you have reached has been disconnected.

Wait, hold on.

[on phone]The number you have reached has been disconnected.

That's weird.

What's up, man? Are we getting paid or what?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Sound check. One, two, one, two.

Check.

Ah, hey, the doors are about to open.

You're supposed to be backstage.

Yeah. I know. Yeah.

Oh, damn.

That's what you get.

Over here, eating up Madam's profits.

I just wanted some cherries

and I accidentally chopped it on my vest.

Okay, got it.

Would you stop? Stop wiping it.

You're only gonna make it worse.

Grab this, club soda a little salt.

Come here.

Whoa, that's like magic.

Here, finish the rest.

Where did you learn this from?

I'm full of surprises.

-And you're welcome. -Oh, thanks.

I would have been dancing, looking like a fool.

-Can't have that. -Hey, hey, hey.

I knew you're with Amp and everything,

but, you know, I thought we could still be friends.

-We cool, right? -Yeah, we're cool.

Well, I respect that.

You know, that's why I ain't gonna push up on you

like that no more.

But, you know, even though you looking thicker

than a Snicker.

Well, thank you.

And you might wanna hang that up in the back.

Oh, all right.

-In the back, D. -Oh, ah, for sure.

For sure.

Come on.

-Hey, Madam, it's me. -Is that a face?

I don't know if you know,

but last night somebody vandalized my car.

Yeah, I heard about that.

You think it was one of our patrons?

Honestly, I don't know.

I was hoping I could check the security cameras,

-if you don't mind. -Sure.

That's right here. That's the parking lot footage.

That's my car right there.

It is? Is it a rental?

No, Madam, that's all me.

I've been making better financial decisions.

Ain't you proud of me?

Well, I would be a little more proud

if you were in a luxury pre owned vehicle

but, I guess.

Come in.

Hey, I need to talk to you. It's important.

What's up?

Here, look at the footage.

You can press fast forward, but do not press any other buttons.

I got you, Madam.

[Madam] What's going on?

I found your sh**ter.

Well, it's about time.

Who was it?

I think this is something that you need to see

for yourself.

-They're in the basement. -Then let's go.

Man, trust me, it's easy.

All you need is some butter,

some heavy cream, little parmesan cheese,

salt and pepper. Chop up some garlic.

All right, man.

I can only imagine it's probably better

than the Alfredo sauce in the jar.

Man, don't even compare that.

I give it a shot, man, I hope she like it, bro.

Trust me, she will, brother.

What's up, fellas? Y' all ready to make this money?

You already know it, right?

Oh, hell no.

-Damn. -This is bullshit.

They got you.

You can't mess with n*gg*s

and not expect them to give you some payback. Come on.

But I never touched their personal sh*t.

Trouble, your little a*s crossed the line

as soon as you had those amateurs

out there waxing your car.

Look, I get that you mad, but you gotta shake that sh*t off.

We gotta get back here

and do this work for real, all right?

Nah, f*ck that. I ain't letting this sh*t ride.

Bro, she more angry than me.

For nothin'.

-Hey, sexy. -Whoa.

I think there's been a mixup. Let me go get Babyface.

No mixup, I'm here to see you.

Sometimes I like a little cream in my coffee.

-You have a problem with that? -We talked about this.

I know, but I'm a grown a*s woman.

And what I want, I want.

Mmm, mmm.

French vanilla.

Look, Samantha, I think you're a very beautiful woman.

But since you Babyface's tipper--

Look inside that bag over there.

Is all this for me?

Well, that depends.

Is all this for me?

Oh, come on, Big D.

Mmm, your name suites you.

All right, It's all yours.

Mmm. Thought you was slick.

Got your a*s.

What the f*ck?

You sucking that d*ck like you mean it.

[moaning]

I'ma k*ll that m*therf*cker!

Who put this nasty-a*s bucket in my locker?

Clearly it was somebody you had washing your car.

Maybe they thought you wanted your clothes washed too.

Oh, you think this sh*t is funny?

Yeah, I think it's hilarious, actually.

Hey, back up, bro.

Nah, man, f*ck her.

If you weren't out there washing cars with the rest of us,

so you back up, bro.

What you gonna do, n*gga?

Since you wanna get all up in somebody's face.

I don't want to hit a girl,

but you keep coming at me,

I'll fight you like a man.

Your b*tch a*s ain't gonna do nothing.

Give me a reason.

You know what? I'll even let you get the first punch.

But you won't do nothing 'cause you a real b*tch.

Damn.

And winner by knockout. Trouble!

Come on, bro. You gonna let her take you out like that?

Get your punk a*s up.

I told you my a*s is real. Don't f*ck with me.

I thought I told your a*s I don't like sharing.

Huh?

Wait, man, let me explain.

She gave me a stack of money

and I swear it was just a one time thing.

No, I don't give a f*ck what she offered you.

That's still my tipper.

What the f*ck are y'all doing?

Man. f*ck that n*gga.

He don't know how to follow the rules.

And he damn sure is not loyal.

I told you, it's just a one time thing

for the money.

You guys need to chill.

Y'all know how important this next performance is.

Now stop this sh*t.

Get your m*therf*cking a*s to the stage.

Go.

Hurry up and get your a*s ready.

Hello, Toni.

Anoush.

-I... -I didn't mean to startle you.

I just came to collect my money.

Yeah, about that.

I, I have half of it,

but I can get you the other half by the end of the week.

But I told you, next time I see you, I want my money.

I know, but I, I, I just wasn't expecting to see you this soon.

But I can get it, I promise.

I, I just need a little more time.

That's unfortunate, Toni,

because now comes the unpleasant part.

No, please! [screams]

No!

What are you going to do with that, huh?

Stay back or I'll call the police.

Oh, we both know you're not going to do that.

Ah!

Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies.

I don't know about y' all,

but I'm in the mood for something sweet.

Mm-hmm.

You know when you're hungry and you can't decide

what it is that you have a taste for?

Maybe something rich

and decadent that melts in your mouth

and goes down real easy.

[all] Woo!

Well, tonight you can have as much

as you want because the treats are calorie free.

We've got Eden's famous delectables.

And we've got them in every flavor you could dream of.

Chocolate, caramel and even butter pecan.

So open your mouths and your wallets.

And show some love for the men of Eden.

♪

♪ Yeah. Wow ♪

♪ I'm pulling up wacky in grease ♪

♪ I came a long way from the east ♪

♪ She leaving her cream on the sheets ♪

♪ My brother say he on her knees ♪

♪ When I'm with you it's a safe space ♪

♪ Baby, you bringing me peace ♪

♪ You know how I get in the streets ♪

♪ Ain't none of it shallow is deep ♪

♪ Yeah, I want to cuddle for weeks ♪

♪ Your mama don't think that you innocent ♪

♪ I know you turn into a freak ♪

♪ Don't really care about your exes ♪

♪ Whatever it is it can be ♪

♪ They plan on making them see ♪

♪ I know you swinging the whole by the D ♪

♪ I had to comb out the dreads ♪

♪ She felt in love with the braids ♪

♪ Cut a b*tch she cooking clean ♪

♪ And she'll load up the case ♪

♪ Your body got me in the days ♪

♪ It don't matter the look you get sl*ves ♪

♪ Her face car never decline man ♪

♪ All that makeup you find ♪

♪ Better tell all them you mine ♪

♪ She a dollar way more than a dime ♪

♪ When I'm with you, I get nervous ♪

♪ It gotta be love, It's a sign ♪

♪ Yeah, I don't care where we going around ♪

♪ What you bring to the table ♪

♪ Cuz b you the table, I'm eating this ♪

♪ You know you my baby, You know you my twin ♪

♪ If they dis expect me ♪

♪ Then it's come to if them play with me ♪

♪ Baby if Only you know ♪

♪ How much I do love you ♪

♪ How much I do trust you ♪

Dime,

you're the love I've always dreamed of.

[all] Aww.

And I knew I knew you were different

the first time I laid eyes on you.

Now at this point,

I really can't see my future without you.

Your face is the first thing I want to see

when I wake up.

And the very last thing I wanna see when I go to bed at night.

You always held me down.

And I just wanna do the same for you.

I wanna be a lover.

I wanna be your best friend.

And I definitely wanna be your protector.

I just want to make all your wishes

and dreams come true, Dime.

So with that said,

Allison Nicole Knight...

Will you marry me?

Say yes, say yes, say yes.

Well, please don't keep me in suspense.

Are you two f*cking serious?

Look, we might hate each other, but Carla wouldn't sh**t.

I'm sorry, Madam, but I'm afraid she did.

What evidence do you have that it was Carla?

She confessed.

Did she confess?

Or did you beat a confession out of her?

No, Madam. There's real evidence.

She was the one driving the car

that was parked across the street of the sh**ting.

Unscrupulous behavior.

Okay, so she took a car and went for a joy ride.

That does not mean that she shot me.

It was a sedan. Nobody goes joyriding to sedan.

And she got a wound in her shoulder

when you got her shot off.

What did you forget?

How the f*ck did--

b*tch, it was you.

Untie her hands.

Hold it that way.

Tommy, hold her down.

Stop moving.

Squeeze her f*cking wound.

Now, is this the finger you used to pull the trigger to sh**t me?

Your own f*cking sister?

Stop moving your f*cking fingers before I take off.

Tommy give me your switchblade.

[Tommy] My pleasure.

Go get a tarp. I'm about to bleed this b*tch like a pig.

Now, do you have anything you would like to say

to your beloved sister?

Before I splatter your brains on this wall?

[hip hop music playing]