03x11 - Massey 165: Earning Its Keep

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm Ant Anstead.

I've spent my life bringing
iconic cars back from the brink.

Yeah!

But now, every flip...

Hi!
What the hell you got there?

...needs to make maximum profit.

No way I'm paying eight grand
for this. There is a number here.

...because after three years,

I've finally got Mum and Dad
moved in.

Cheers.
[MUGS CLINK]

That wall is wobbly.

Is that safe?
Define safe.

But there's still a tonne of work
to be done.

There will be a point
the roof will just give up.

But to turn these bangers
into big bucks...

Are we in the scrap business now?
Don't be like that!

...and keep this renovation
on the road...
Here y'are, Arch.

Doesn't it look great?
It looks amazing.

...I need my family and my mate,
Duncan, on the tools.
That's sweet, that is.

Because failure...
[GRINDING]

The wheels don't fit.
We have a problem.

...isn't an option.
There we go!

Oh, yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

What a day!

So this path will exit the door
of the greenhouse

and join up to a small patio area.
We'll put a bench
with one of those arches over.

My parents are now moved in,

so I've turned my attention
to the garden,

where I'm building the greenhouse
of my mum's dreams.

Tell you what else, when you step
through the walled garden,

it's gonna draw the eye... Yeah.
...really nicely to that gate.

It's gonna lead you
up the garden path. [CHUCKLES]

Nice and steady.

And Dad's been busy as ever,
collecting thousands of bricks

that we need
for the greenhouse walls.

Two at a time, please.

Two at a time, please.
Can't count.

Three at a time.
Oh, Duncan!

I ain't got all day!
My shoulders are struggling,
old bean.

Unloading six tonnes of bricks
into the yard is one thing,

but the thought of moving them
to the back of the garden
makes even my shoulders ache.

But it's given me an idea.

So I'm on my way to Leicestershire
in search of a vehicle

that I've never worked on
or owned before.

Well, I've managed
to convince myself

that it makes sense
to go and buy a tractor,

but I know absolutely nothing
about tractors.

Nothing. But... on paper,

how hard can it be?

I mean, they're essentially
agricultural cars.

I'm on my way to see
a classic tractor,

built in 1967, and it's a brand
that I do know,

or at least I've heard of.

It's a Massey Ferguson 165.

Massey Ferguson was formed
in 1953,

when Canadian machinery giant
Massey Harris

joined forces with Irishman
Harry Fergusson's tractor company.

A decade later came
the iconic 100 series,

known as the Red Giants,

with the 165 becoming
one of its biggest hits.

Billed as a versatile
and easy to maintain workhorse,

its four-cylinder diesel engine
gave it the grunt

to tackle even the toughest of jobs.

And to this day, it's cherished
by both working owners
and collectors.

Now, the more I got to know
the farmhouse,

the move I've dived into
its history.

And there are pictures of the farm
with a tractor in it!

This is like a homecoming.
It feels like full circle.

Because there's so many jobs
the farm needs where a tractor
is gonna be helpful.

So every time I start the key
and get that tractor working,

I'm earning.

And anything I sell it for,
that's profit.

I bet you that's our farmer.

Of course, he's driving a tractor.

You're probably Tony.
Yes. Nice to meet you. I'm Ant.
Nice to meet you.

This is my 1967 165 Massey.

Oh, my God, she's wonderful!

This is the first time I've ever
considered buying a tractor.
Well, it's a good start.

Yeah, everyone raves about these.
Why are these so beloved?

They were literally so far ahead
of the time.

Good straight, solid tractors.
You can work on these.

You can't work on the new ones.

That's what all you farmers say.
The old ones are better
than the new ones. Yes.

I've put new panels,
put a new clutch in it,

done quite a bit tarting it up.

So these aren't original.
No, these are all sourced online.

You can get parts online
for everything.

'Cause they're still working.
Still using, yeah.

Whilst it's reassuring
that I can get parts off the shelf,

the list of problems with
Tony's tractor isn't a short one.

Where you are there, there's
a panel missing, a panel here.

Grille's missing on the front here.
Headlight.

The electrics want sorting.

Got a slight issue -
when you reverse,

you turn, it steers tighter
one way than the other way.

How are the hydraulics?
They all work.

I need to be able to use it.
Yeah.

I'm not here buying a tractor
because I want to keep and own
a tractor.

I'd like to use a tractor
short-term,

and ultimately, I'd like to sell it
on to somebody who's actually
gonna use it.

Whilst the hydraulics may work,

it's currently missing any sort of
loader attachment

to help me move the bricks
for the greenhouse.

And just like any car buy,
I need to know how she drives.

Can I start her up?
Yes.

I don't know how to.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, my Go...
That's really uncomfortable.

That's the stop-and-start,
pull start and stop

that goes on top of
the fuel injector pump there. Okay.

[ENGINE STARTS]
That's it.

[LAUGHS]

She sounds like a tractor!
Yup.

And then, if you put that into low,
there, forwards...

Right, okay. And then...

...keep your foot on the brakes.
Yeah.

And lift your clutch up
nice and steady.

Whoa! Yeah!

Whoa!

[LAUGHS]
Now, for someone who's never driven
a tractor, you've done really well.

It's a bone shaker!
Yeah, yeah.

Compliments will only get Tony
so far,

and even though the tractor
just about drives,

buying it is dependent
on one thing - the price.

You've got it up
for five and a half. Yes.

If I'm gonna be selling it on as
a tractor to a tractor enthusiast,

I am going to have to
put a bit of cash into it.

Yeah.
So, can we cut to the chase?

There's gonna be some wriggle room.
What's the wriggle room?

Four? No. No.

Five... Five... Yeah.

Four and a little bit?

Four and a half,
we can shake hands on it.

Done. Okay.
Thank you very much.

I can't believe
I've bought a tractor.

I'm a car guy
and I just bought a tractor.

I never thought I'd see the day
where I would say those words.

Now, while there's a load of
similarities between the tractor

and restoring, say, a 1960s car,

there's also things our tractor has
that cars don't have.

Which means
I'm just gonna have to work it out.

[HORN TOOTS]

Hi!

What the hell you got there?

You know exactly what this is.

This is a tractor.

A 1967 Massey Ferguson 165.

Ah, it's hot.

We're branching into farming now?
It kinda of makes sense,

'cause we are restoring a farm,
plus, there's a profit in this.

I've been looking around
at all the jobs we have to do,

and we're gonna have a bucket of
money we'll have to spend
on hiring a tractor,

so why not buy a tractor
that needs restoring,

save on hiring costs,

sell it at a profit - it's win-win.

Have a look. What do you think?
I'm sort of wondering
what's the matter with it.

We do have a steering issue
that we want to resolve.

Go on.
It needs a general tidy-up.

You know, the body's dirty,
there's a broken light,

there's a panel missing here.

Seat's not upholstered.
Classic stuff that farmers
forget about.

The battery doesn't charge.
I think that's to do with
the wiring issue.

And I think, ultimately,
we want to go and find something

that makes this tractor purposeful.

I'm thinking a pair of forks. Yeah.
We need a pair of forks.
Yeah, that'd be handy.

This isn't like fixing one of your
little hatchbacks or something.

Everything on this is massive.
Look at the size of that bolt.

I don't even think I've got
a spanner that size.

I think I need to test drive it.
No, we want to get into it

because I think...
I'm gonna get into it.

But we can turn this round
quite quickly. Yeah, yeah.

You can't turn seven years old
all of a sudden.

Right, hit that in.
Right. That in.

This is high and low gear.
Right.

So, just turn the key?
Yeah, no, the ignition
is also broken, so...

Oh, now the truth comes out.
Yeah, but using a screwdriver,

if I cross these two... Yep.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[SINGING]
♪ I've got a brand-new
combine harvester ♪

[LAUGHING] It's just ridiculous.

Mind my wall!

Just spin her to the end of the lane
and come back!

Ant?

We've owned the tractor
for about 30 minutes,

and already Duncan's parked
on the side of a field.

What happened?
Have you stalled it?

Well, it just stopped.

All right, put it in neutral again,
neutral gear.

Yeah? Yeah.

Done it.
Okay, foot on the brake.

[ENGINE STALLS]

[ENGINE STALLS]

[CHUCKLES] It's out of diesel.

[SIGHS] Take the key.

I'll go get some diesel.
Unbelievable.

Come on!
Just strolling down there.

Right, where's the diesel go?

Right, give me the key.

Wonderful.

Okay. Happy? Yep.

[ENGINE STALLS]

Oh, wait.

It's diesel.

It's gonna have air in the system
now.

Which means we have to bleed
the air out. Mmm.

Hold the key.

I'll go and get some tools.
Yeah.

You know what? What?

I quite like this driving job.

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

I thought you'd left me!

It is quite a trek to the farmhouse.

Our tractor's diesel injectors need
high fuel pressure to open.

Just like in some older diesel cars,
run the tank dry

and air gets into the system,

stopping that pressure building
and starving the engine of fuel.

Right, all those injectors
are now loose.

So, if you take the key...
[CHUCKLES]

We've got to upgrade this.
What I want you to do is,

crank it, and when you crank it,
it's gonna force diesel

up to those injectors.
It's gonna want to spill out
the loose joint,

and my job is to close it
as quick as possible.

It'll probably run like a bag of
nails, but as soon as I close one
that is spilling fluid,

so we know there's no air in it,
it should run on that cylinder.

I have a feeling someone's gonna get
covered in diesel.

All right, crank her over.
Ready? Yup.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

Okay. Keep going, keep going.

[ENGINE RUNNING]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Taste good?

Tastes disgusting.

That is our diesel fuel system bled.

All right. At least you won't have
to put any sun tan lotion on.

I'm gonna go and get cleaned up.

Spin around and get her back
to the farmhouse. Well done.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, have a look at the wheel.
It's like the wheels are...

The seller said it was worse
when you drive backwards.

Pretty bad going forwards!
All right, well, go backwards.

It's probably a geometry issue.

Oh, no, no! No, no, no, stop! Dunc!

That's really bad!

Get it up to the barn.
I'll try.

[LAUGHING]

Perfect.

Our Massey weighs over two tonnes,

so having a front wheel
with a mind of its own

isn't something I can ignore.

Just give that a little wobble.

There's our problem.
Look round the corner.

That's why it felt so weird.

It felt like the wheels
just flicking out.

It was only my skill that stopped me
going off the road.

[ANT CHUCKLES]

That loose arm is the track rod.

Just like on a car,

it transfers the steering movement
to the wheel,

but the tractors has
an extra complication.

At the front of the axle,
you've got different bolt holes.

You can obviously widen the track
on the front.

Yeah, that's probably
for ploughing fields.

'Cause you want the wheels
to go at different lengths

based on what the field...
Furrows. It's furrows.

I don't know if it's furrows.
Well, ooh aah.

To compensate
for different axle widths,

the track rod slides in and out, too.

Our bolt should lock it in position.

But something isn't right.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, yeah. The thread's gone.

It's not the bolt
that's the problem.

It's the thread it screws into
that's worn.

Why don't we just find a nut
and bolt that's the same size

and weld a nut
on the top of that collar?

That way, it's gonna have
the threads from the nut,

more than enough,
and go into those holes.

What, like proper farmer it?

There's no need to get fancy,

tractors are designed
for barn-style repairs.

The welded nut effectively replaces
the stripped thread,

allowing our new bolt to lock
the track rod firmly in place.

That joint is now solid and tight.
Love it.

Right, line this wheel up centrally.

We fixed the steering problem,
but we now have an alignment issue.

Changing the length of the track rod

changes the directions
the wheels point.

Let's go 63 inches.

Measure the wheels at the front
and rear,

and the difference tells us
if they are toe-in or toe-out.

So if it's toe-out, this
measurement's gonna be smaller.

What is it?
No, I'm the other way.

It's 65.

It can't be two inches out.
The tape doesn't lie.

It says 65.

So it toes-in by two inches?
Yeah.

Wow. So she's gonna be going...
ploughing.

No wonder she drives like
a bag of nails.

Just thinking about this,
two inches is a lot out.

You know where we put the bolt in?
Yep.

Is there another hole
on the outside?

Yeah, there is.
And does it happen to be two inches?

Yeah, it's two inches.

It's slipped a hole, hasn't it?
So we just have to undo that,
move the wheel in.

That should bring it
somewhere close.

Right, if I get on the wheel,
I'll move the arm across

and you can line the hole up.
Go on, then.

Keep going. Keep going.

[DUNCAN GRUNTS]
Keep going, one more.
Okay, there. Perfect.

Is that somewhere near?
No, you're way off.

Is your wheel still facing forward?
My wheel's pretty parall...

Oh, wait a minute.

There's something wrong here.

We'd assumed the repaired track rod
had slipped by one locating hole,

but moving it out two inches

has moved the wheels
too far the other way.

That is nowhere near.

I've just worked out
where we made a mistake.

If we reduce the rear,
it also increases the front.

'Cause where we remove
from the rear, we add to the front
'cause of pivoting.

Well, this side's got
a track rod in that's threaded
for adjustment.

Like a normal car.

Right, well that end's locked
where it was. Let's adjust
the threaded end.

The locating holes
only give us rough adjustments,

but this threaded track rod
lets us fine-tune the alignment.

We've got about an inch
to play with.

If we want to close the rear,
let's wind it in about half that
for now. Right.

There we go. Right.

We are on...


So the front is three-quarter inches
bigger. Check the back.

We are... 64 and a quarter.

So we're still bigger at the rear.
We need to keep winding it in.

Yeah, another two turns.

One. Two.

Right, here we go.

What is it now?
Sixty-four.

Where we at?
Sixty-four.

Eight turns. Eight turns in
has aligned our tractor steering.

Right. You can now take her racing.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

With our first ever tractor repair
under our belts,

I reckon we've earned
five minutes to cool off.

Is the water at
a correct temperature?

While the heat builds outside,
the farmhouse is keeping its cool,

thanks to the natural properties
of Duncan's eco-friendly
lime plaster.

What I'm gonna do is
heat this bit of plaster up

on one side. You can be
my attractive assistant.

Point it on there, and I'll show you
the difference.

So, pull the trigger.
Twenty-four on that side.

Twenty-four, 23.

Right, so we'll heat this right up.
Okay.

Pull the trigger now. Where are we?
Over 300 degrees.

Three hundred and fifty.

Wow.
Now you've got to trust me.

Put your hand out.
Now tap the top of it.

Ooh, that's hot.
[CHUCKLES WHEEZILY]

You swine! [LAUGHS]
But it's not burning your hand.

No, no. That side
is room temperature.

Yep. That's why the lime's working
on the house.

It allows it to breathe, but it's
all insulated as well.

That's why it's cool in here.
That's brilliant. [CHUCKLES]

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

Back in the barn, we're finally
ditching the screwdriver key

and sorting the Massey's
dodgy electrics.

This is a 1967 tractor.

This is basic engineering,
basic wiring.

You could bump-start this
without the battery and it'd run.

We already know that
the starter motor works.

What we don't know is if
the solenoid works.

'Cause inside here
is an electromagnet.

When you turn the ignition key,
it sends a current to the solenoid.

That energises the solenoid,

which, in turn, sends power
to kick over the starter motor.

But if I take this wire off...

...add this, this will replicate
an ignition key.

Yeah, and we're isolating
all the switch and all the wiring

from there to the starter.

Exactly. So if you put that
on the positive... Yeah.

If this works, it means
the solenoid's fine.

You ready?
Yup.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Right.
So, starter motor's fine,
solenoid's fine.

Which means it can only be
two things.

It could only be the wiring
or it's the ignition key.

There's one end of a wire there.

There's another end of a wire there.

We've got some wires here
that look really nasty.

And this panel's missing.
So somebody's been in here.

This tractor's probably been started
with a screwdriver in the last
decade. If it works.

Turning the key sends 12 volts
down the crank wire

triggering the solenoid
and powering the starter.

The wire is connected
at the solenoid

but it's come loose
from the ignition switch

somewhere in this tangled loop.

You take that.

I'll hold this on the wire.

And test each one of those
loose wires. Mmm.

In that spaghetti of wiring.

By connecting the multimeter
to one end,

we can test each loose wire

until it detects an unbroken
connection to the solenoid.

Ain't that one.

Ain't that one.

[BEEP]
That's it! That's our wire.

That proves we completed a circuit.

At this end of the solenoid
and that end of the wire.

So, connect that to the ignition.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

That should be it.

Ready?

[ENGINE TURNS]

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Turn it off! Turn it off!

[ENGINE TURNED OFF]

[COUGHS]

[DUNCAN COUGHS]

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Turn it off! Turn it off!

[COUGHS]
That all went bright red.

It shorted out.

Duncan and I are trying to get
to the bottom

of the faulty wiring
on our Massey Ferguson 165...

Bloomin' hot, that is.

...with varying degrees of success.

At least the ignition switch works.
Yeah, we've fixed something.

You can see what's happened.

The farmer probably had an issue,

it probably started to glow
or smoke,

he just pulled it out, got rid of
the issue by overriding
the ignition switch,

and spent the next 10 years
starting it with a screwdriver.

So we need to find out
what that wire does. Right.

So let's just check everything
that requires electrics. Yeah.

Right, just check continuity.
[METER BEEPS] Okay.

Put that on that one.
Try that again.

[CHUCKLES]
Put that on that wire. Yeah?

So, right, we've got a blue wire.

It's blue in here.
It's this one, isn't it?

[METER BEEPS]
It's the alternator.

Yeah, I reckon
it's gone through this hole...

Chaffed against the chassis
and burned itself out.

And in a panic, somebody's probably
yanked at wires.

No wonder we had charging issues.
Mmm.

The alternator recharges
a vehicle's battery
when the engine's running,

so our disconnected wire
explains why

our battery has a tendency
to go flat.

Right, let's take that old wire out
and put our new one in.

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

Right, I made this wire
a little bit longer,

so you can pull out that old one...
Yep.

...and go straight to
the ignition switch. Right.

Stick that one...
Right, this is looking safer
and neater.

So the battery is currently


Go on then, run her up.
Are you ready? Yep.

Have you got the fire extinguisher
ready? We do not need
a fire extinguisher.

[ENGINE STARTS AND RUNS]

Now, if the alternator's working...
Nothing's getting hot.

...this should read higher.

Twelve point nine. No, 13. Whoo!

Our wiring is done,
and our alternator is charging.

I quite like these now.

With Mum and Dad moved in,

Dad's finding that keeping the
farmhouse clean mid-renovation

is easier said than done.

Oh, Nigel, be careful
on that stepladder.

It's the only way
I can reach the top.

It does attract the dust, though.

Everything in this house
attracts dust.

Rather you than me.

Our tractor now runs and steers
like a dream.

And I've just taken delivery
of a second-hand loader attachment

so it can finally start pulling its
weight around the farmhouse.

[CLANG]
What have you gone and bought
this time?

Well, what does it look like?
I know what it looks like.

A load of trouble.

How much do you think that was?
[SIGHS HEAVILY]

Dunno. Go on.
Three hundred and fifty quid.

Does it work?
I dunno.

He says it works.
Oh, not that one again.

Look, for 350 quid,
we can't lose.

Yeah, I'll give you that.

If you go jump in the tractor,
drive around,

and ease her in frontways,
we'll see if we can fit it.

All right, I'll get the tractor.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

We're a good 18 inches off
those forks going in.

The wheel's gonna hit
the engine crane.

Yeah, this ain't gonna fit
like this.

So we're pretty stuffed.

We need the engine crane
to lift the loader into position

but the tractor's wheels
hit the crane before
the mounting points can meet.

All that hydraulic stuff.
Does that all work?

Why? What are you thinking?
Just wondering

whether we can use
the hydraulics on that

to lift it up.

I mean, if it works,
you're a bloomin' geniius.

Eh?

If this was rigidly mounted
to the tractor,

activate the hydraulics

would open that ram
lifting the arm.

But if it's not mounted
to the tractor,
it would open the ram,

closing down that gap.

I mean, I don't want to
hand out medals just yet,

but in theory...

I reckon you best get polishing
them medals.

By connecting the hoses first,

the tractor can send pressurised oil
to the loader and move its arms,

even though the loader itself
isn't bolted on yet.

Can you see that coming through?
Yep, got it.

If Duncan's right, we should be able
to use that hydraulic power

to raise the loader until it lines
up perfectly with the mounting
brackets on the tractor.

Wanna try it?
[SIGHS HEAVILY]

Go on, then. Right, let me...
This was your idea.

No, no, no.
No, your idea was to fit this

because you wanted to move this.

It makes sense. On paper,
this is gonna work.

Well, I couldn't see any other way
of doing it.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Right, slowly.

Right, will it go down?

Lose the engine crane.

Right, nice and slowly.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa! Right. Hang on.

Gotta come up a little bit.

Mind your fingers!
Come back again a little bit.

Go full lock.

Now go full lock and then forward.

Right hand down a bit.

Right, now forward.

Perfect.
That's it! The pin is in!

Right, put the pin
in the other side.

Whoa!

Yeah! Right!

Look at that!

Do the forks work?

Look, I'm nodding.

We just made our tractor
valuable and useful.

I am officially all farmed out.

What are you talking about?
Your idea worked.

Well, I'm gonna go and wash up.

'Cause I've had enough.
Really?

Yeah. I'm not. I'm gonna play
with my tractor a bit longer.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Don't forget to duck!
[CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

That's hard in high gear.

Over this way a little bit.

Whoo-hoo! I'm a farmer!

Never to be seen again.

With six tonnes of bricks to move
to the far end of the garden,

right now our Massey
is worth its weight in gold.

[LAUGHING]

I can hear him.

Here he is.

You could be like one of them
delivery people, to your door.

Like Bricks R Us.
Right, let's get these unloaded.

Look at that. Way quicker.

I thought you might have actually
come through the fence.
No, this is a precision operation.

See? I told you it was worth us
getting a tractor.

A few tractor loads later,

and it's finally time
to start laying bricks.

My pal Ollie's doing
the bulk of the work

but I've swooped in to lend a hand.

Now, the renovation isn't just
about the house.

It's about creating an environment
for my parents to retire in,

and they both love gardening.

So I'm putting
a load of extra effort

into making this garden
as magnificent as I possibly can.

In the summer, this is where
they'll spend most of their time.

This is the last brick.

This is ready for the wooden
and glass top to be fitted.

And it's not just a greenhouse
that's being installed.

Dad has been assembling
some raised beds

so Mum can start growing
a few things for the kitchen.

What's in there?
Coriander. Coriander. Seeds.

Seeds are hidden under there?
Yes.

Camomile.
Okay. Parsley.

So this is a herb garden.
Yes.

So this will all sort of settle in.

Right, well I'll keep
filling these up with the mud.

You have your uses.

Back in the barn,
it's the final push

to get the tractor ready for sale.

Right, I come bearing gifts.

I like big boxes.

Yeah, I spent a bit of cash,
because think about it,

most tractors,
and unfortunately ours,

have this make do and mend
philosophy. Farmers
keep the tool working

and don't really care about it
being refined.

They come off the field
at two in the morning,

and something's broke, just gotta
fix it with what they've got.

Right, but if we're gonna get
really good money,

inside this box, I spent 122 quid.

And I have got us...

a new steering wheel.

A new seat.

And two new gauges...
to fix the two that don't work.

That'd be like nearly a grand
if you was doing a car.

Well, luckily we're not doing a car.
So what I'm proposing first

is we fit the gauges.

Right, here's the tacho.
And I've got the temperature.

This gauge is fancy.

Look. It does engine revs,
and speed,

and PTO speed, depending on what
gear you're in. All in one gauge.

Do you know what else we've done?

We've just clocked our tractor
as well. It's very low mileage.

Actually, that counter is hours
not miles.

'Cause a tractor can work
while standing still.

So it counts the usage in hours.

Well, we've got a very low-houred
tractor. We have now.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Right, now for the badge.

I don't know if you know,
but these triangles here,

these three triangles represent
the mutually beneficial relationship

between the farmer, the dealers
and the brand.

Amen.
[LAUGHING]

Amen indeed.

The new seat is an upgrade
on the makeshift bag of hay.

Yeah, shame we didn't fit that
before we went trundling round
the field.

No, we wanted the full
agricultural experience.
My back didn't.

The second-hand panels
and headlights I found online

complete the look.

I reckon we should get it outside
and give it a bit of a wash.
All right. Get the jet wash ready.

I'll bring her out.

Oh, sorry, mate.
That was deliberate, wasn't it?

Hey, Dunc, underneath all this grime
she's actually quite tidy.

She's actually coming up
pretty clean.

It now looks and feels like
a classic tractor. Yeah.

I don't think we should sell it.
I am reluctant to sell it.

But ultimately, we do need to flip
it, we do need to make some profit.

I mean, how much did we actually
spend on it in the end?

It wasn't as much
as I thought it would be.

We paid four and a half grand
for the tractor.

But the parts
were remarkably affordable.

The most expensive thing we bought
was the front loader, 350 quid.

All the new parts were 122 quid.

The second-hand panels,
they were 80 quid.

The headlight was a fiver.
It was second-hand.

And then miscellaneous,
which I packed into one bracket,

I put in for 100 quid,
which meant we only spent

£657 on this tractor.

So it owes us £5,157
as it sits here today.

If we can get six grand for it...
I think the best thing to do

is advertise it...
and accept offers.

I mean, she is pretty smart now.
She does look the business.

You know what one of the coolest
things about this tractor is? Go on.

She's got number plates.
Road legal.

Which means I want to give it
one last drive.
But it's only got one seat.

Yeah.
I'm gonna have to meet you there.

Where's there?

We have to go to the pub, don't we?
We'll have to have a cider.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

This is possibly the most
uncomfortable, loudest,

certainly the most vibrational drive
that I've ever had.

But I'm smiling.

I'm smiling
because I'm driving a tractor.

[HOOTER TOOTS]
Oh, hello.

And she's come a long way.

Sorting out the diesel issue
because Duncan ran out of fuel.

Resolving the steering.

And actually, for a big, heavy,
clumsy machine,

it steers quite nicely.

But I think the bit that's gonna
maximise the profit on this tractor

are the forks on the front.

It turns it from a classic
agricultural vehicle

to an actual, tangible work tool.

I mean, you're not gonna get
anywhere in a hurry.

I mean, look around.

I'm in the middle of
farmers' fields.

As the sun sets on another
brilliant, very hot British summer,

to the pub,
to have a pint with Duncan.

I'm not entirely sure
it gets any better.

And, sure enough,
Duncan is waiting for me

with a cold pint of cider
at our favourite local.

All good?
Oh, you've lined one up.

Well, I've been sat here
about a half hour.

It's not exactly been
the fastest car.

Cheers, man. Cheers.

What I've done is,
I've advertised the tractor online

and a fellow called George
seems really keen,

so I figured
I would stage the tractor

in the perfect location
to sell a tractor.

Look over the river.
She does look a picture.

I know, it's perfect.
I challenge anyone
who wants to buy a tractor

to not want to drive it away.

I tell you what,
if you haven't sold it,
that pint's staying here, mate.

You go and meet George
and I'll look after these.
Keep that on ice.

Yeah.
Well, I'll try not to drink it.

Farmer George has travelled
over from Oxfordshire

to look at the Massey.

And as she gleams in the sunshine,

I'm hoping her charm
will seduce him.

So, what attracts you to, er,
a tractor first of all?

Well, I've got a few
little smallholdings,

so it's gonna be perfect
for what I want to do with it.

So you've already got tractors?
I've got two...

Well, a smaller version of this.
A little Grey Fergie as well.

So why would this tractor qualify
and your old one not?

It's got the size,
got a bit more power.

It's got the extra gears to it.

And notice it's got some extra
equipment on the front.
Yeah, I did notice that one.

Makes it a bit,
a bit more appealing.

So what would you do
on your smallholding?

Well, a lot of topping, 'cause we've
got a few Jersey cows on it.

A bit of fertilising,
haymaking.

A little bit of everything.
So how many cows have you got?

Got eight in total, pedigree
Jerseys, all showing animals.

So we prep 'em all, clip 'em,
wash 'em, take 'em out in the rings.

They've got to be
the most spoilt cows in history.
Er, they're quite well fed.

Right, well I want to stay focused
on selling my tractor,
not talking about your eight cows.

Do you want to sit in it
and see how she feels?

Quite good visibility still.
It's pretty good, right?

Dashes are all nice and clean.
Yeah, this dash has been tidied up.
These gauges are new.

It looks really clean for the age
and the work... [HORN TOOTS]

Horn works. Horn works.

Well, look, I've got it advertised
online for six grand. Right.

It's great value. You know this is
a proper bit of kit for six grand.

And, um, I'll take six grand.

With or without the loader?

Technically,
it's probably without the loader,

but it is a bit of a faff
getting it on and off.

Well, I reckon you'd take
five five for it.

Five five?
Five five.

No, okay,
I'm gonna include the loader.

[SUCKS TEETH] Five eight.

Did you just suck
through your teeth?

Have you just gone full farmer
on me?

Five eight with the loader.

I'm gonna stand firm at six grand.

Yeah, I reckon we can do six, then.

Six? Deal? Yeah.

Good man. Congratulations.

You've now got a bigger tractor.
Yeah. It's always a bonus, innit?

I'm gonna have to walk back
to the pub, there isn't a spare seat
for you to drop me.

I think so.
Enjoy the tractor, dude.
Look after those cows.

I may be walking home,
but the tractor has earned its keep

and made us some money.

So I think that's cause
for celebration.

Right, hand over that victory pint.

Because I have just
successfully sold our tractor.

Did we make a profit
before we cheers?

Yeah, we did. In fact...
[GLASSES CLINK]

...I accepted £6,000 for it,
which means we made

about 850 quid, and we didn't have
to rent any other equipment.

Well, that definitely deserves...
[GLASSES CLINK]
...a cheers.

So, the tractor experience
has been a positive one.

So is this a new business venture?

Yeah, I quite fancy buying
another tractor.

When I come past you, when you was
holding all the traffic up,
you did look like a farmer.

[LAUGHING]