[jaunty, jazzy music playing]
On a scale of one to ten, my friend
You're f*cked
In lack of other words I'd say
You're f*cked
You are, as they say in Japanese
f*cked from the head down to the knees
I am sorry to inform you
You are fundamentally f*cked
[man] I thought I was in control.
I suppose we all believe that we are.
But pit a major milestone
against a massive snowstorm,
a crappy Wi-Fi connection,
and too many drunken toasts,
and our true selves will emerge.
[sighs]
When that happens,
it's f*cking game over, my friends.
THE STORM
PART1: THE CALM BEFORE
[reporter] So this storm
that's barreling down on us is how big?
I don't wanna say doomsday proportions,
but at least one meteorologist said,
"Storm of the century."
Probably the best advice I've heard is
"Stay inside, folks."
Get your candles and your flashlights
and grab a good book.
And more importantly, stay off the roads!
It's gonna be messy.
So unless you've got somewhere to be,
stay safe at home.
And last but not least,
our most successful friend, Henrik Mller.
He's the one we most want
to impress tonight, honestly.
He's promised to invest in us
through his company.
Hello? Siri?
Heard of the Mller Group?
[phone Siri] Mller Group owns successful
hotel and restaurant chains
Jeez, sorry.
- across Finland, Norway and Sweden.
- Now I have.
Yeah? That's good.
I mean, it doesn't really matter,
'cause Henrik and Filip
have known each other
since they were
in business school together.
It is Filip's birthday party, right?
In a sense,
it's also sort of a soft opening
with a milestone birthday thrown in,
since 45's kind of a big one.
With champagne and cake and funny stories,
music, singing, dancing,
in a chic but impromptu
and super casual setting
planned to the nearest millisecond.
Which reminds me,
I need you to watch Henrik like a hawk.
Without the Mller Group, we are screwed.
[man] We've been through this.
It's unsustainable.
All roles need to be revised.
The board is meeting about it tonight.
- They can do that?
- Yes, they can.
- So, I'm f*cked?
- Maybe.
Daniel? Can these assholes fire me?
[Daniel] I really don't know
what they're planning, Henrik.
Keep an eye on your phone.
I'll be in touch.
Hey, papi.
Hey.
She knows we need to be
in the lobby in ten minutes, right?
- Yes, she does.
- Okay
I don't know why she isn't here already.
[woman] Hmm?
[man] Dougie, put that away.
The babysitter's coming to get you.
He feels warm.
You sure? Lemme see.
He's good.
We gotta be down in nine.
You're wearing those?
Of course, yeah.
I bought them special. What?
- [woman] Okay.
- Gucci.
They'll get ruined.
There's a snowstorm out there.
Yeah, but it's not
an outdoor picnic, is it?
- It's dinner.
- Suit yourself.
- [man] Is your bag ready to go?
- I thought Mom was doing it?
- For Pete's sake, Kina!
- [Kina] I'll do it.
I'm trying to get us out of here on time!
- Calm down, Ossi.
- We just lost another minute!
They reserved our rides
back here for 2:00 a.m., Nicholas.
- [Ossi] Douglas!
- [Douglas] What?
[Ossi] Turn that off. Get your shoes on!
We've got seven minutes until we leave.
So I'm stuck with your friends
'til the morning?
It's one evening, dear.
Try to find a way to act somewhat civil.
I've been waiting you to meet them.
Hmm?
Hmm.
Good God
Nattis just sent you a selfie, my love.
She's bringing that awful dog with her.
Who's the cutest dog there is? You are.
Yes, you are, honey.
[man] Hello, darlings.
Jacob, what happened to your face?
You look like a five-year old!
[Jacob] Very observant, thanks. Nattis.
Ravishing as always.
- [Nattis] New scent?
- I think we're a little under dressed?
I've got the denim jacket.
You got the priciest suit and shoes
you've worn since our wedding.
This is Oscar and Kina.
- [Kina] So nice to meet you.
- Nicholas von Rosenstjrna.
[Kina] Kina.
I finally understand
why you've been hiding this guy.
He's definitely out of your league.
Such a mountain of a man,
and ruggedly handsome!
I'm gonna own your asses tonight!
Mama's thirsty!
[Jacob] Wow, Ninni!
[Ninni] I know, right?
That's a lot of white.
Wow is right. Is that ermine or white fox?
Absolutely no touching.
It's Fendi, 35 grand.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I love my outfit as much as my munchkins.
- Great tag line for your Instagram.
- [Ninni] It's taken.
- Ninni.
- Nattis.
Gucci loafers, you like them?
I do. They're very comfortable.
- Even in winter.
- I hope so.
It's good to see you.
Henrik Mller.
You sure picked terrible weather
to be heading to the countryside.
I see the front seat has room for two,
so please let us sit there.
I hope you folks
aren't in too much of a hurry.
You have snow tires, don't you?
You can get us there quickly.
Wow, the weather.
- Ossi!
- I'm fine.
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
Yup. It's all good.
I think you should change your shoes.
No, my shoes are fine. It's the slush.
I'm fine, just get in the van.
We'll miss you, Papa!
What?
[girl] We love you, Papa!
- Papa loves you!
- Oh yeah.
We sure are doing something right, huh?
The Wi-Fi code, Papa!
[chuckles] Some of us have work to do.
I still can't believe Filip and Caroline
just up and left the city.
Watch the Fendi.
I'm dying to see this house.
I give them six months tops.
Who's ready to get
this f*cking party started?
Okay, so the hors d'oeuvres
come out at 6:15.
Quarter after.
- You got everything on here?
- I thought I'd wing it.
No. You're not winging anything.
It's all here, Petter.
That menu's boring. Throw it out. Pft.
Where do you find scallops and tuna
this time of year?
In the fridge.
Well, f*ck, my bad.
I didn't think to look in there.
- But it's fine, I've got some ideas.
- I bought everything.
I'll look in there
if I'm short of anything.
What the hell's in the jar?
Just a few magic mushrooms for the salad.
What the f*ck, Petter!
This isn't a hang out
for your stoner friends.
You can't make a salad
with magic mushrooms.
This dinner is important to us!
Japanese shimeji.
I'm just messing with you.
- Oh, thank God.
- You need to chill out.
- Can you imagine?
- Who do you think you're dealing with?
[woman groans]
Psychedelics go in this fancy jar, see?
Siri! Why are you
on the counter like that?
[phone Siri] I believe I'm on the counter
because you set your phone there.
I've been working
since 1:30 p.m. I'm exhausted.
It's 5:37, you're not even halfway through
the shift we agreed on.
[camera snaps]
- Millennials' f*cking weak-a*s bullshit.
- I think she's Gen Z.
- But you can't get all worked up.
- Breathe.
- It's not good for you.
- I'm trying to breathe.
- What if Henrik bails?
- Henrik gave his word.
[woman] If he doesn't come through,
this will all have been for nothing.
[man] He will come through.
- He'll be here any minute, won't he?
- [woman] Yes.
You've thought of every little detail,
and it's all going to work out, okay?
Inhale the vision.
Exhale the tension.
f*ck! You can't smoke here!
PART 2 - THE BREEZE
[indistinct, lively chatter]
It's a bar!
Whoa. This is impressive!
[laughing]
[Caroline] This is what we like to call
the c*ck cocoon.
- Feels like something out of Narnia, Fil.
- Papi.
Champagne to toast your arrival?
- Oh.
- Yes!
- For you, Henrik.
- Thank you.
Such a good job with the decor.
It's so warm and a bit kitsch. I love it.
Thanks, that's what we were going for.
Right? Okay.
Not yet, thanks.
We wanted to retain the original design.
I saw your brother when we came in.
He says he's cooking for us tonight?
You are our first official guests,
so we wanted to keep it in the family.
But once the next round of investment
comes through,
we'll try to lure a chef from Frantzen
to run the kitchen.
[all] Mmm.
I think I read that Petter's
quite [clears throat] experimental.
- Maybe even over the top?
- [Caroline] Yes, he is.
He likes locally sourced things.
His experimental cuisine did get him.
"Young Chef of the Year"
in the White Guide.
Wow, good for him.
Yes. Emerging talents
rarely stand the test of time.
Sorry, everyone, I don't want to be
the one to break up the party, but
Then maybe just have a drink with us?
I'm a little bit worried.
Sounds like the wind is really
going to wreak havoc on the roads.
- If it picks up it will.
- [Ossi] Reports are always wrong.
- No need to worry.
- Reports have been bang-on.
Wind's gonna die down.
- They're predicting blizzard conditions.
- I don't want alcohol.
- We should...
- Have some champagne.
It's delicious. There.
Isn't it good?
It is tasty, thanks.
Think the driver could maybe stick around?
In case the next one can't come? Smart.
Glad you think so. Can you take that?
I'll invite you all to follow me,
with your glasses, of course,
and I'll show you the dining area.
- I can't wait to see what you've done.
- Go ahead, I'll catch up.
- [Ninni] Honey?
- [Ossi] This is tasty.
I can't believe she didn't want it.
Tour. Come!
Do you think you could
stick around for a while?
I don't have much choice
with these crazy conditions, do I?
Yeah, you can leave the meter on,
to make it worth your trouble.
Oh no, sir, I couldn't do that.
Course you can! That's what it's for.
Finish your coffee inside,
where you'll be comfortable.
All right.
We'll see you inside.
Okay.
[friends singing]
Happy Birthday, dear Filip
Happy birthday to you!
And many more!
[Filip] Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot.
[all cheering]
So [chuckles]
First of all, welcome, to our home.
[Ossi] Your B&B, you mean?
[chuckles]
Did I hear someone say
cheers to grand ideas?
Let him finish his speech, honey.
- We can do toasts later.
- [Ossie] Speeches make me thirsty.
I timed my speech, Ossi. Think you can
hold on for two and half minutes?
- Sorry. Ignore me. My lips are sealed.
- You want to time it?
- Now, where was I?
- The floor is yours.
- You got this.
- [phone dings]
[Filip] Here we go.
Ever since those days
we were in business school together,
we've been talking about
fulfilling our dreams.
For some of us,
it's been a slow and sinuous process,
while others were lucky enough
to latch onto that objective from day one.
[Ossi chanting] Henrik, Henrik, Henrik!
- Ossi.
- All right.
[Filip] We've been through
lots of ups and downs together,
so I have to say that I'm so touched
to share such a special occasion
with all of you.
And especially with Caroline and I
expecting our first baby
in this new place we now call home.
I couldn't ask for a bigger dream
or better birthday.
Um
[clears throat] The restaurant.
So, the room you're currently in
will eventually become the restaurant
- This room?
- [Filip] Exactly!
Once we've got everything
running smoothly, of course,
which reminds me of an old anecdote.
Anecdote!
I'll take you back
to a dark and stormy night
in the dead of winter in the late 1600s,
when a group of crazy old friends,
not unlike those here tonight,
gathered in this very room to celebrate
the building of this beautiful house.
Was there a blizzard outside?
There was, actually.
[Petter] We're gonna start things off
with some lovely caviar!
You'll find your spoons on the table.
- Is that caviar or f*ck' goose eggs?
- Thank you, Petter. Go on, sweetheart.
- Wonder where he got it from.
- I lost my train of thought.
I've never been one for speeches.
Anecdote.
- 1800, old dudes.
- 1600s.
- [Filip] Right!
- And they weren't old.
Don't get your teal tuxedo in a bind.
400, 600 years ago.
- Petter
- So friends were celebrating here.
Then there was a huge snowstorm, but
I want to know why they were crazy.
They weren't crazy
when they first got here.
It happened when they got trapped inside
and ran out of air. Um
- What?
- No.
- Here?
- Yes.
- They suffocated?
- Not at all.
If you want to do stand up,
tonight's not the night.
- Oh sh*t.
- The restaurant.
I did want to talk about the restaurant.
But yes, there was a record snowfall
all the way to the roof
that sealed all the windows.
- It was a doomed dinner.
- What?
He's kidding. No one died.
- Right. I was
- He's pulling your legs.
Let's raise a toast, huh?
To dreams and friendship.
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Honey?
It only counts if you raise it.
- I know.
- Cheers.
- To friends.
- Hear, hear.
[Filip] It sounded
so much better in my head.
Do you want him to think
he'll die of oxygen deprivation?
- That plans didn't include ventilation?
- I wanted to wing it so I sounded sincere.
You sounded like a lunatic.
These mistakes derail an entire project.
We discussed this!
- This is what I told Petter not to do.
- It's fine, no one thinks anything of it.
Would you want to stay
if you'd heard that?
- They're good.
- They're gonna leave!
I'm telling you, we're good.
Nobody's going anywhere.
They all want to enjoy a great evening.
Don't get all worked up.
It's not good for anyone.
Ugh, stop touching my belly.
It's annoying.
So who wants a little refill?
- No, Ossi.
- Come on, Jacob, for Fil.
- You remember the chords.
- Put that away.
Just play for us.
You're the only one who can.
Fine.
We need everyone to have their caviar
on their hand for this one.
For good fortune, right?
And you need your drink.
- Caviar bump, my favorite. Let's go.
- Get ready, all.
C-E, C-E, a CEO, I'll be
I'll be leading all day
My way or the highway
Bonus for the big ones
Taxes for the small
Hurry up, hurry up
There'll be money for us all
Yeah, ha, ha, ha
It's time to shout yippee
For Barnevik and Wallenberg
And Mller and me
And Mller, of course! [Chuckles]
Whoo!
- Good stuff.
- Such a lovely band of capitalists.
[sighs] Honey?
To us.
Yep. It's up.
I can tell it's Russian.
Nothing compares to the flavor.
It's basically like eating gold.
[Nattis] Doesn't it bother you
with the current state of the world?
We're only having it tonight
because this is a super special occasion.
- After this, it'll be locally sourced.
- [laughs]
So tonight is just an exception.
But I feel a little guilty
eating it anyway.
Well, if that's the case,
think of another country when you bite.
- Didn't you go to Italy recently?
- Mmm?
- Oh, sole mia
- Okay, Oscar..
[phone dings]
Oh, a more!
Will we be eating anything
more substantial from our young phenom?
Of course, Nicholas.
What'd you serve
the White Guide critics, Petter?
[Henrik] g*dd*mn it.
IT LOOKS REALLY BAD!
WHAT'S HAPPENING?!
[Jacob] Henrik?
- Is everything all right?
- Why're you asking?
Let me rephrase.
How are you?
[faint chatter]
How's things?
[driver] And the last time,
they roughed me up a bit, too.
I hardly had any cash,
since people prefer
to pay with their cards now.
I tried therapy for PTSD,
but then it was so expensive.
And it brought out
all sorts of things I'd forgotten.
So I packed up my things
and moved out to the country,
and things are so much better.
People are much nicer,
and I have zero stress.
It's a suite.
Sweet suite.
All for me?
[chuckles]
Oh, wow.
[chuckling]
It's huge!
I've never seen anything like it.
Everything is so luxurious.
King Gustaf could live here.
It's so fancy.
You have the towels prepared already
and everything's so clean.
Kleenex.
[chuckles]
And its own bathroom.
With a bath tub! My god! What a treat.
I don't have a bathtub
where I'm living right now.
- Think fast.
- What?
Ah!
f*ck!
Hi sweetie, I just want to make sure
you're feeling better than before
and you're having fun.
I'm I'm thinking about you all the time.
And Papa, too.
Papa is really worried about you.
Do you know how hard it is
to squat in heels?
My teacher was a pro, man!
She shoved me against that pole and said,
"Stick close to it, honey,
and press your triangle package up there,
and twirl yourself around."
And by the way,
that pole is colder than you think.
Your twirling was really good.
Then she told me what gets big bucks
is twerking and squatting down low, so
- Disgusting.
- [Filip] And you went for it, Ossi!
Please, Jacob.
If there's someone here who would have
loved to have a go in stilettos
and a sparkly G-string,
rubbing up against that pole all slutty,
it's you, baby.
- Does it bring back the glory days?
- Come on.
- I'll admit, it turned me on.
- Enough.
I mean, if Kina had seen the way
I was getting on with that pole, phew!
I don't think we'd be together.
No. Not from the sounds of it.
Not a chance.
Wow. If I'd seen you that night,
I'd have been like,
"Hmm, I'm gettin' a lap dance."
You and your husband have
the same taste in strippers then,
because I gave him one.
- Huh?
- He loved it!
- You were generous.
- You looked so cute together.
I felt sorry for him.
No one else volunteered.
[Filip] You felt sorry?
Okay, so it was a mercy lap dance then?
Mercy had you putting wads of cash
down the front of my banana hammock?
[trilling]
I almost wish I'd been there to see it.
What do you mean?
We were all there.
Not that night.
You chose to forget,
he was there, wasn't he?
- You were.
- Absolutely not.
Absolutely yes.
You were there, Jacob.
And I know this because you and I
were sharing a hotel room,
and the morning after Ossi's thing,
you were frantically
crawling around naked,
looking for imaginary jewels
you thought you lost.
Oh Jacob, everyone misses
your drinking days
when you were the life of the party!
I mean, I'm glad you're sober,
but you were so much fun back then.
Oh, what's the matter?
You need to go look for some lost jewels?
I forgot exactly
how we ended up at that place.
Please stop sulking.
It gives you wrinkles.
You would know.
Papi, I think my lipstick
rolled onto the floor.
Can you look for it?
Do you have a pee pad for Mochi?
Our whole back yard.
Anywhere out there.
There's a lot of snow out there.
I'll do it.
- Are you sure?
- I love this guy.
Mochi, come on. Let's get you outside.
- Time to make a wee-wee.
- There's nothing down there.
Petter'll help us.
- Have a good wee-wee.
- We're off.
Uh
I don't know about the strip club,
but Bulgaria, definitely Mller's idea.
[Henrik] If you say so.
Like the right brain and the left
get melded into a single entity.
- This here? Gone?
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, man, you feel it?
- Oh, I didn't know, It sounds weird.
It's like a wave of heightened awareness
that makes everything vivid,
and so you think, you chill, you feel,
and you get 360 f*cking degree vision.
- It's magical, for real.
- That sounds like it might be too much.
What if I just want a little kicker?
Pump things up a little?
If you don't know what you're doing,
you can overshoot it.
So what I suggest is
you begin with a micro dose and chill.
Let it mellow until you feel
a sudden whoosh, smack, boom,
and see f*cking Alice in Wonderland.
- Or unicorns?
- Yeah.
Should I maybe do it
before the next course?
Here, here, here.
This ought a do it.
Are you sure this is considered
a micro dose, Petter?
- No, you said you wanted a kicker.
- Uh-huh.
- [Kina] Ossi? Honey?
- Take it, take it, take it, take it.
- [Kina] There you are.
- What's wrong?
Carmen just called. Dougie has a fever,
so I'm going back to be with him.
I don't think you need to do that.
I'm sure he's fine.
Can we talk, please? In private.
[spry, quirky music playing]
What is wrong with you?
You have no idea how he is.
It's just a fever, not an emergency.
I just meant the babysitter can handle it.
There's no need to leave the party.
We've been so busy,
don't you think we deserve a night out?
- I wasn't
- Huh?
About time for some fun with our friends
we haven't seen in a while, no?
I didn't come here to ask you
to leave with me.
I came to tell you
I'm going back to the hotel.
This feels like a trick question.
- I'll be in the doghouse if I don't come.
- It's not. I will not get mad if you stay.
Okay? I won't have fun if I'm here.
You have fun for both of us, please?
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
- Just try to behave a little, yeah?
- I'll try. A little. Bye.
Have fun with him.
Right. Thanks.
Ready to head out there, buddy?
What do ya say, Mochi?
Wanna go make some yellow snow?
You have a big yard all to yourself.
You're gonna love it.
Let me just push this open,
and you pee like a champ.
But try to do it quickly, huh?
As soon as I put you down,
you just pee your heart out.
Whoop, let 'er rip.
I gotcha.
Hey!
Mochi?
[wind howling]
[jaunty, quirky music playing]
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
Hello?
Hello?
Oh my God. I'm so sorry.
- [driver] It's not what it looks like.
- It looks like you're taking a bath.
Yes, I am.
I figured since we're snowed in,
I would enjoy the tub and candles.
Okay, finish what you're doing real quick,
because I'd like to go.
- You're not planning to drive?
- Am I?
No, you're the driver on standby,
aren't you?
I was, but no one should go out
in these conditions.
You'll end up in the ditch
if you even get up the drive.
- Hey, sweetie, how are you?
- [Douglas] There's no Wi-Fi.
- So you can't play your games?
- There's nothing to do here.
[driver] I'm not being lazy.
It's too dangerous.
When are you coming back?
Now.
[jaunty, quirky music playing]
Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss!
My keys!
[driver] My keys?
You can't be out there in this weather!
[yelps]
Kina, thank God!
- Why do you have your coat?
- Are those the van keys?
- Yes.
- Great. Let's go. Quickly.
All right. Let's get out of here.
Our little Dougie needs us.
Hit the defrost.
Is there a button
that turns this thing on?
It's got one of those Breathalyzers.
It keeps you from driving drunk.
- Blow into it. Hard.
- This starts the car?
Blow.
- [beeps]
- Not enough volume.
- Restart. I did.
- I told you to blow hard.
- Then try doing it longer.
- It's resetting. Three, two, one.
[both] Zero.
Keep blowing.
Blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow.
Stop!
[sighs]
Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.
- Start the car. Come on.
- What's the number? Can you reset again?
Keep your hands off it, it's reading.
Can't you see the twirly thing?
- Refresh it, it's cold.
- When it goes really fast it's analyzing.
The twirling isn't just for strippers.
Okay.
- [beeps]
- What'd you get? Can we go?
Point-three-three.
Did you drink?
Did I drink?
Have you not been paying attention?
- You forced us to toast every two minutes.
- No, no, no, I didn't force you to drink.
- Don't try to gaslight me, Oscar!
- I just wanted you to have a good time.
You said you didn't want to get drunk.
- Loosen you up a fraction of an inch
- Listen to me! You never stop talking!
If you put a timer on your talking,
it'd never run
PART3. FRESH BREEZE
- [Kina] Hurry.
- [Ossi] Christ.
[Kina] The door's right there.
[Ossi] I've got no traction.
[Kina] Dammit, Ossi.
I told you not to wear those stupid shoes!
[Ossi] They're loafers!
[Ninni] I don't like to mix politics
and fashion these days.
Sweatshops aren't about fashion,
they're about human rights.
It's my right not to post about that.
To each her own.
[Nattis] You don't care about making
a difference, you just want likes?
This drivel makes me wanna drink again.
Your fern-colored funk
makes me wish you would.
Who knows?
Maybe a happy leprechaun would pop out.
Hmm?
Hey, could you drive me into town, Jacob?
If only I'd taken lessons.
You mean you don't drive?
- Think the next course will be soon?
- Mochi?
My blood sugar
It'll be here soon.
I'm sure you can smell it already.
You haven't seen Mochi, have you?
I'll go down to the kitchen
and see if Peter needs any help.
Mochi? Where'd he go?
Where's my baby?
Mochi?
Mochi?
I thank you for the sustenance.
You have been recruited to this team!
Salt.
Salt! In the clear thing. I need it.
Yeah, good!
Now we throw it like rice at a wedding.
You wanna let loose
and do it with enthusiasm,
'cause passion creates flavor!
So now we're gonna build
on our base with salt!
I mean shimeji!
- [Siri] Shime-what?
- [Petter] Mushrooms.
Beautiful Japanese mushrooms. So good.
So now we're gonna let these babies
hang out together for a while,
get to know each other
until their flavors rise into melded bliss
and are forever united in this vessel
that's so round.
[music playing faintly in distance]
These babies are done!
Great job watching them.
Now, the babies are coming out. Ha!
[Petter vocalizing]
Ah! [Laughing]
[groans]
I can see that it hurts!
A first degree, at least!
I really should've used gloves!
- [distant clatter]
- [Petter] That oven was hell a working!
f*ck! I think my hands are falling off!
[Petter screams in pain]
Petter!
What the hell's taking so long?
We're 20 minutes behind schedule.
People are hungry.
Petter burned himself.
Did you not look at the schedule?
It says right here, main course, 7:30.
- Why isn't it ready?
- How am I supposed to know that?
That's why you were hired!
To ensure the evening went smoothly.
If you said,
"Can I do anything once in a while?"
I would've told you, "Read the schedule,
get the f*cking food on the table."
The most I can do is salad. I don't cook.
Right! I'm gonna figure out
what my brother's making,
and we'll serve that.
- Can you help me out here?
- With what?
I don't know, croutons?
Jesus Christ. These f*cking snowflakes.
- How did he burn himself so bad
- He's pretty high.
On drugs?!
This is weird.
It says that my baby is "out of reach."
Nattis, what's actually weird is that
you've had your dog's leash fitted
with a GPS to monitor his every move.
- [laughing] That's like spying.
- You mean you can track him on your phone?
Oh yes. My dog walker had
that same look on her face.
I happened to mention that her position
on the map from the GPS
showed a coffee shop
instead of the doggy spa.
What do you say we turn this dining room
into a dance floor, people?
First we need to find some music
to liven things up with, so just a second.
- Oh yeah! Good stuff! Good stuff.
- [loud pop music playing]
Nattis, come here.
Your silvery dreams
Will bring love dreams
We'll be cuddling soon
By the light of the moon
The silvery moon
- [Nattis] I'm not in the mood.
- [Ossi] Come on.
Henrik likes to dance, don't you, Henrik?
Get the endorphins flowing with the music?
I'd rather keep the booze flowing.
What's that?
- It's booze.
- I'll have a double.
Are you okay?
Uh, yeah.
Really?
[Ninni] Yes! You go, girl.
Um
Dougie spiked a fever,
so I kinda locked the driver up
and stole his keys.
- In his van?
- Of course not, he'd freeze.
- So where?
- Bedroom, with a cane blocking the knob.
So downstairs in the suite we gave him.
- Suite four.
- I'll take care of it.
Look, the food's finally here!
[Caroline] Yes, please sit.
Honey, where're you going? We need to eat.
- Start without me.
- But
Hey! Here's the food. Oh, whoops.
Rabbit and a salad.
This is yours. Thank you.
The mushrooms are a Japanese delicacy.
- Oh, he moved! I see Mochi again.
- [Caroline] This is for you. And enjoy!
You sniff along the wall here,
and then cross over. Go down the hall
[driver] Hello? Can someone let me out?
Something seems to be blocking the door.
- Hello?
- Hello?
[driver knocking on door]
- [driver] Hello?
- Hello.
Hello?
- Hello?
- Hello?
- Sir?
- Yes? Could you let me out, please?
Thank you so much. There's a crazy lady
who ran off with my keys.
[Filip] Hello?
- Ossi?
- Yeah?
- What's going on?
- I f*cked up.
I
Mochi.
What?
[Ossi] Mochi.
- The dog?
- He's somewhere in the blizzard.
- Were you just
- Like a f*cking rag doll in the wind.
A furry rag doll. He was supposed to have
a quick wee, not take off.
I could barely open the door,
but he needed to pee so bad.
- All I did was nudge him a little.
- Oscar!
Take a few breaths, huh?
- Okay?
- Okay.
From the top. Slowly.
I volunteered to take care of Mochi.
You know, I'm good with animals,
especially dogs.
So we were bonding while I got him ready
with a nice little pep talk
before I pushed the door open,
which was hard,
because the wind was howling,
so I told him to hurry
and just pee close to the door,
and before I know it a monster rolled,
in and somehow he flew up like a kite.
He f*cking weighs two pounds at the most.
- I was left with a leash with no dog.
- Okay.
- I didn't know it had a tracker.
- Okay.
If we just explain all of this to Nattis
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
- We can't. Mochi's like her child.
- [Caroline] Filip!
Kina's gonna be even more upset.
The others will find out.
- You know how judgmental they can be.
- No one's going to be upset.
If we don't say anything,
they can't help us.
They've got their reasons.
Inhale. Ossi. I'll fix all this.
[Caroline] Filip!?
- How?
- [Caroline] Can you bring Parmesan?
First, you calm down.
Go upstairs. Act casual.
- Okay? That's it.
- That's it?
- Okay. Don't forget the parm.
- I got this.
[driver] Hello? Is someone still there?
[Caroline] Filip!
[driver] Hello?
[tense, funky music playing]
Wow, someone likes mushrooms.
The cheese?
The mushrooms are gone? Popular. Enjoy.
Sit down. I'll go check if there's more
if you want some, honey.
- It's all gone. I already checked.
- Really?
You sure?
[distorted] Science has never
managed to prove
that aliens from outside our galaxy
have never set foot on our planet.
- This meat is cooked to perfection.
- Are we square?
- With the van driver?
- Uh-huh.
We were thinking we could have rabbit
as a regular part of the menu.
Military intelligence and powers that be
guard that information jealously.
The occult hierarchy that controls
everything in humanity's field of vision.
As seeing is believing, is it not?
I feel I got lost right after
the Egyptians, or the Mayans.
Me too.
Are we the new Illuminati?
Mm-hmm, for sure.
The what?
I sense a note of sarcasm.
Perhaps you should just eat. [Laughs]
Food for thought.
The purpose of our existence.
Should we toast to the existence
of the farm that raised the rabbit?
So delicious.
Cheers, all!
No. No. No. No, no, no, no.
[clears throat]
Material pursuit will be our downfall.
Turn us all into little quislings
marching to the same beat.
Quislings?
You had better watch out, Mller Group.
Watch yourself.
You have such a lovely aura.
- What color?
- Brown.
Are you enjoying the meal?
Let me ask you,
do you have an opinion on the Illuminati?
[trippily] Whoa.
Whoa. [Petter laughs]
Hey, man. Hey, man. Yeah.
[Caroline] Okay, thank you for that.
- That was a vivid presentation.
- [Petter] Thank you.
- Great prism.
- You're welcome.
Oops, sorry.
- Dessert?
- [Petter] Love dessert.
Could you check on it?
Sure. But first I want to enjoy the food.
You want to sit with us?
- Hey, not here.
- [Petter] Can you move over?
Okay, I'll straddle the leg over here.
Petter. Hey, can you please not
So, where were we?
[Henrik] This place is more impressive
than I imagined, Carro.
[Caroline] You haven't seen
the spa yet, Henrik.
The perfect place for relaxation.
Is he staying here?
You talked to the doctor just now?
What's going on?
[babysitter] He's burning up.
If I can just ask you
to stay actively reachable by FaceTime,
so Dougie can see that I'm here
if he needs me?
Are you here?
No, we're stuck here,
which is not where you are.
It's where we are.
I'm on the phone now trying to be there.
Via Wi-Fi. We have Wi-Fi.
- Excuse the pun, but [laughs]
- [Kina] So don't hang up.
I think unstable's a better fit.
[laughing]
- Why do you say that?
- She's not a horse.
- Oh?
- [phone ringing]
Did you fix it?
Nicholas, I need to get back to my son.
Do you think you could drive me to town?
I might be having a stroke.
Is my face slack?
Uh I guarantee he's not having a stroke,
but you can't get in the car with him.
[Kina] He doesn't have a license either?
Nicholas, Nicholas, have some water.
Your face is fine.
It's okay. I got it, Kina.
[Daniel] You'll issue a statement.
You resign as CEO of the Mller Group.
- I cannot f*cking resign, Daniel!
- You can.
- The group's got my name.
- They'll change it.
I have built it from the ground up.
- So?
- This is my group.
But Nattis,
you have to admit it's too much.
I mean, we all have to just play along,
as if her new identity is real?
That's f*cked.
[Daniel] The press release
is about to go out. I'm sorry.
[Ninni] Does she sleep in hay?
- [phone beeping]
- [Nattis] What do you care?
[Ninni] I'm not trying to be judgmental.
If it makes her happy, who am I to say?
- I don't think I should feed her apples.
- [Nattis] But you're are being judgmental.
You're saying one thing
and doing the other.
You say she can be what she wants,
but you refuse
to acknowledge her identity.
Educate yourself, Ninni.
Get with the times.
Now you're getting mean, honey.
- Nothing personal.
- [Henrik] For Christ's sake!
Is it me,
or are we running out of oxygen in here?
Nothing.
Look who decided to join the rest of us.
Welcome to the festivities.
I'd forgotten what it's like
to try to argue with you, Nattis.
I'm all for self-expression
and being whoever you want to be.
- Provided that fits with your ideals.
- Within the constructs of our society,
and common sense.
Things have gotten so damn confusing.
- [Nattis] For whom? I'll explain.
- No one knows what's what anymore, Nattis.
There's your anatomical gender,
which includes your internal
and external genitalia,
and your gender identity.
This is the gender
with which you identify,
which may or may not be the same
as your assigned gender.
Your assigned gender is
Petter.
- [Nattis] then gender expression
- Enough.
which is how you express
your gender publicly and to others.
Legal gender shows on official documents,
such as your passport.
Which could also give a clue
to your language gender.
Along with your preferred pronouns,
of course.
- Isn't this what names are for?
- Exactly.
No confusion.
Henrik's mother named him Henrik,
and that's how we know he's a dude.
And the shlong.
Did you enjoy the rabbit?
- Oh, yes.
- Yes!
- Delightful, Caroline.
- Everything was delicious.
Hey, no! You're not just gonna shut down
my debate like that.
This isn't the office where you can
fling your ideas as the truth.
Jesus Christ! You're obviously
chomping at the bit for a fight.
Think I'll clean up.
All Ninni said was that
a woman in our neighborhood
has taken to wearing a bridle and blanket,
and neighing that her name is Duchess.
And that she honestly
finds it all a bit weird.
Now I admit, I'm no expert,
but I have heard of furries,
and gender incongruence,
which might be why I'm dumbfounded
when people like you think
if you can explain it to us,
we won't think it's weird.
If this woman identifies as a horse
or thinks she was born as a horse
- [Nattis] Henrik.
- fine! Good for her!
But tell me she's being wronged
because it doesn't say "horse"
in her passport.
People with "fursonas"
She isn't, and can never be, a horse.
Come on, Henke!
If she really feels that she is a horse,
why can't she just be one?
Why can't she just live as the animal?
I said she couldn't be one!
I didn't say she couldn't live as one.
If she chooses! Go for it!
Trot around in a saddle,
or hop over your neighbor's fence
to eat their grass, sh*t like that.
But don't expect everyone you meet
to accept your inner Palomino
and stroke your mane
and feed you apples at the airport.
Jacob, don't you want
to chime in on this one?
- [Henrik] No!
- [Nattis] You're awfully quiet.
Leave Jacob out of this.
The point I'm trying to make is that
it's fine if you think you were born
with the wrong gender,
or the body you were given
doesn't feel right.
But maybe try showing
a little appreciation
for what you've been given, also.
Because one day, it could all blow up.
Whoo! More bubbles?
- Hey! Honey?
- It's a 1963, aged in an earth cellar.
It should be a real treat.
- Ossi?
- Did I hear someone say "cheers?"
- Yes, you did.
- Yes!
- Of course.
- I heard it too.
[spry, eccentric music playing]
[muffled screaming]
[Nattis] How are you these days?
[Jacob] Rather fantastic, actually.
[Nattis] Tell me more.
We were recently in Turks on Caicos
on a sailing trip. Have you been?
Mm-mmm.
The water. Mmm Crystal clear.
Ah.
That feeling when you're lounging
on the catamaran,
reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez,
and the bartender delivers
an ice-cold lemonade.
Not much more you could ask for.
Right. Except for ending starvation,
and climate change and genocide.
Yes, there's that dream.
The world is in crisis.
Except for maybe
Turks and Caicos and its ice.
Which you think would be turquoise.
[chuckles]
What did you do with my friend, Jacob?
Where is the facetious,
witty comeback, over-the-top rebel?
Who was never afraid to speak out?
Who always wanted to be center stage,
could play any instrument in this room?
I no longer perform.
Huh.
Have you heard any of the nonsense
they've been spewing?
Does it not affect you at all? Jacob?
- Mmm.
- The real one? Is he still in there?
Where's my friend gone?
Who is this f*cking monochrome pill?
It's just me, Nattis.
No, this isn't you, Jacob.
We were best friends for years.
We told each other everything.
- Now you're sailing with this guy?
- [Jacob] Stop it.
- You're wearing head to toe beige.
- Loro Piana, it's cashmere.
And your hairline is creeping forward
instead of receding like it should.
What's happened to you?
- I discovered vitamins.
- [sarcastically] Oh, yeah.
It's due to vitamins?
And your very shiny teeth
you insist on showing, vitamins did that?
Drop the faade.
Enough with the pretentious Latin American
novels you read on vacation,
enough with drinking soda out of a straw,
enough with pretending to be
whoever this sad sack is.
One Hundred Years of Solitude
is a masterpiece.
What did you say? Book a table?
- [distorted] Intermediate are interesting.
- Long as they have a regular menu, I'm in.
I'm so sick of lousy intermediates.
It's like a filler.
You expect something original,
and all they have is g*dd*mn burrata.
FORCED OUT AS CEO
What?
The bedroom is, of course,
a fantastic place to get praise.
And praise is even better
than likes, right?
Who doesn't like praise?
And believe me when I tell you, Carro,
nothing will make you feel capable,
powerful and strong
like praise from your obstetrician.
Well, there's something
to look forward to.
Look at you. So big and round,
like a baby beluga. Can you hear us?
[Henrik imitates beluga whale]
[Ninni] It is. Labor is the first chance
to meet your baby.
[awkward chuckle]
Childbirth is a miracle,
and the frickin' most amazing thing
you will ever experience.
- I have my vape, do you mind?
- 'Course not.
You look tense, honey.
Why don't you take a break?
I feel funny.
Why don't you stretch your legs little?
You've been sitting here awhile.
How you see yourself as a woman
during childbirth
when you're pushing life out
through your vag*na.
- Where did Henrik go to?
- And the connection, I mean
It's so intense, you just lock in
like no one else ever existed.
[Nattis] It's highly pretentious
to insinuate
Okay, we'll start without him.
that you can only be connected
to your child
if they come out of your birth canal
under your OB-GYN's praises.
- I think she clinked her glass.
- I think I'd like to propose a toast.
- You're just twisting my words.
- I'm not twisting anything.
You insinuated that the only way
to connect is during childbirth.
Which is basically sh1tting on
all the other ways to become a mother.
- I think my wife needs the floor.
- Not to be rude, but I have to ask.
Why did you even want to have children
if you don't spend time with them?
- Does it bring you some validation?
- What the f*ck?
- Your "mommy" badge? Is that it?
- Nattis.
If you put an ounce of your hatred
into creating connections, you'd get it.
[Caroline] How about we change?
Okay, so you absolutely have no regard
for all the children who already exist?
Who populate this godforsaken planet
we live on,
and are desperately waiting to be adopted
into a home of their own?
Adoption is a difficult road.
As a matter of fact, I don't.
Did you visit a lot of orphanages
while trying to get pregnant?
Did you visit a lot of dog pounds
before you shelled out for Mochi?
Okay, so [Caroline clears throat]
- Ladies, can we just
- Ah! Easy, tiger!
What the f*ck, Nattis?
- Settle down.
- Why'd you do that?
It's ruined!
[laughing]
What the f*ck, Nattis?!
- It's Fendi!
- Calm down.
She spilled it on herself.
Let's all take a breather, huh?
- Could you laugh like that again?
- We were just having an intense debate.
- It's no big deal.
- It is a big deal.
Uh, if you want to keep it from staining,
you need to put some salt on right away.
- Salt?
- It absorbs the wine before it soaks in.
- I can do it if you want.
- Can we all be quiet for Caroline?
I've never tried fur,
but I'll give it a shot.
- You'll be careful?
- Of course.
Can we all get back
to our places and listen?
- Yep.
- Great.
Wow. [Laughing]
This is nuts!
Oh, wow!
Our plans went right out the window.
It's too bad the snow didn't block them.
- But go with the flow, right?
- Oh yeah.
So thank you for reminding me
that the most important thing
is that we're here together.
[cheering]
I'm sure Henrik'll understand
if I start without him.
My hormones are wreaking havoc
on my patience and emotions,
since you're the first ones we've invited
to this special and precious house.
Our forever home,
whose magic we fell in love with
and hope to share with so many others.
Like we are right now.
So, my beloved, sweet Filip,
my soulmate,
the one I both call
husband and best friend.
A true angel
Sent for us all,
who I'm lucky to call my own.
I'm so grateful that we are able
to take this leap together.
I have always wanted to do this.
You know that.
But I never would have done it
without my rock.
Everyone should be so lucky
to have married the person they know
will always be there for them.
Tonight hasn't been perfect.
But when I stare into
those beautiful eyes of yours,
it doesn't matter,
because as long as you're with me,
my life is perfect.
Thank you, honey. That means the world.
So, toast!
- Toast!
- Toast!
To achieving your life's goals!
[all screaming]
- What the f*ck was that?!
- Mochi?! Mochi?!
PART 4 - GALE
[Filip] Don't worry, everything's fine.
Just stay here, around the table.
I'll go down and start the gene...
[Caroline] You're not going.
I'll take care of it.
You fend off the panic.
If they freak out, they'll pull out,
and we'll lose their investment.
You get Henrik back in here
and do whatever it takes
to show your friends a good time, got it?
- Hello!
- Get in the kitchen. Start dessert. Now!
- Yes, boss.
- It's so dark, I can barely see my hands.
[Nattis, distorted]
My poor baby. Where are you?
Mochi? Where are you, honey? Mochi?
- [Nicholas] Mushroom
- This is enough. I'm gonna go find him.
- [Kina] Carmen? Can you hear me?
- Here
[Kina] Hello?
[Nicholas] And there
- [Nattis] Mochi, can you hear me?
- Where's the kitchen?
- [Ninni] Papi, where are you?!
- [Nattis] Mochi?
Down below.
- [Nattis] Come to Mommy.
- Oh, right. Excellent.
Huh?
I think we should get going before people
say more things they'll regret.
Not until I get the answer to my question.
- [Nicholas] No, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[Nicholas] Did you do this? Was it you?
Why won't my phone work?
- [Kina] Does anyone have service?
- Why did they make this door so small?
- Hey! What kind of mushrooms were these?
- sh*t.
They could at least have made a slide.
- [Kina] Anyone sober enough to drive?
- The stairs are floating.
I need your help!
I'm worried too,
but this is where we need to be.
- Do you think so?
- Yes.
I can't even get Carmen on the line
to see how he is.
He'll recover quickly, Kina.
His immune system is out of this world.
A b*mb couldn't k*ll this kid.
If it fell on him, it would!
- I need to get out of here!
- Okay, I meant like in those silly video
The fake bombs, like in the games.
Kina. Good times.
Honey? Right.
[Ninni] g*dd*mn mommy badge?
You're the one
who needs frickin' validation!
[distorted] Come back!
Did you do this to me?
[Petter, distorted]
Yeah, but I didn't mean to.
[Nicholas] I'm going out of my mind.
You little sh*t! Stop!
[groovy, psychedelic music playing]
Jacob, wait. You know that's gin.
Yes. It's what you all want.
- What?
- All I've heard is how I'm no fun.
This'll get the old Jacob to come out.
Might've been better if it didn't take
a power outage to loosen him up.
[Jacob] Showtime!
- Oh, Ossi!
- [Nattis] Where are you?
Uh, could you take over hosting?
Just for a minute?
Sure! Yes, yes!
[Ninni] I'm not gonna let you
get me all worked up like this.
[Nattis] Where are you?
Mochi?
Mochi, Mochi, Mo
[Nattis] Mommy's here, honey!
What? Mommy? Who's there?
Oh, f*cking hell! Just turn on.
Well, damn. Henrik?
[Henrik groaning]
There you are.
- Turn it off.
- What's going on?
We're so screwed.
- What're you talking about?
- I lost it all tonight.
Okay.
What do you mean
by, uh, "you lost it all"?
Lost what?
Everything I built.
Okay.
Everything.
I have a feeling
this might not be the right time to ask
if we can still count on your support,
if by everything you mean...
- Oh sh*t! Uh
- [choking]
Okay, okay, okay.
There. That's it.
[gasping]
Now is not the time.
You've, um, obviously got
something weighing on your mind.
Stupid f*cking piece of sh*t!
I'm sorry. I wasn't talking to you.
Inhale the vision.
Good vibes.
Good vibes.
Okay
Let's go!
I've got a little surprise for you.
It's my f*cking house,
and I want power.
Now start, damn you.
Forget it.
What?
Forget it. Let's call it a night.
- Already?
- Yeah.
Do you know how much I spent on lemon curd
for this ridiculous coulis concoction
for your idiot friends?
Have you lost your marbles?
[Filip] Uh
I know you're frustrated, honey, but
Stop it, please, come on.
Hey, look at me. Look at me.
Now please try to relax.
- Okay.
- Okay?
If we skip dessert, we'll survive.
- Survive?!
- Yes. It's just cake.
- Is surviving enough for you?
- I only meant that
We have invested our lives,
our heads and our hearts
in this shitty f*cking house.
- Uh-huh.
- Everything we own.
Surviving's not enough.
We need to succeed for this to continue.
And for us to succeed,
we need your friends' support.
I've designed this event
to secure their interest
- and finally lock in the funds to launch!
- And you did great.
I just think the joyful part's kinda gone.
This party is joyful!
Now, we need your friends.
So gather them up,
talk about the things you did in college.
- All the fantastic memories.
- No.
- Shoo.
- We don't need them, honey.
- Shoo.
- Don't shoo me, I'm not doing it.
This whole plan is so f*cked up!
This whole place could burn down,
I wouldn't give a sh*t!
I'd be relieved if it means
it would give me my wife back.
I miss her.
I need you to listen.
We won't get the investment.
- Henrik's company isn't going
- Not another word!
I want you back upstairs
as soon as you're done with this.
[generator wheezing]
[generator whirring]
Ha! Yes!
Hey.
Can I do anything to help, Caroline?
Ah, you know what'd be great?
If you f*ck right off, Siri.
[Siri] I believe that is
beyond my capabilities.
You can so f*ck right off,
you robot b*tch!
Whipped cream would be joyful.
Yep.
Is this it?
Finally.
[tense music playing]
f*cking hell.
[sighs]
Okay.
Oh, yes.
Hey!
Hey
[Kina] Where you going?
I'm f*cking off to my room.
[Kina] All right.
Enjoy!
[Siri] Crazy-a*s boomers.
[energetic, eccentric music playing]
On the dance floor! Whoo!
Get out here.
You had all the moves back in the day.
Remember this one? One, two!
Oh, and back up again. Whoo!
Yes! Let's go!
[Ossi laughs]
And time to catch some fish!
Whoo! [Ossi laughs]
The big one!
Yeah! Voil!
Whoo!
Go, Ninni! Go, Ninni! You got it!
Whoo!
Oh, I need a hat!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Jacob, this is your jam!
[gags]
What?
I was told he was serving
the free-range rabbit.
- I don't know how this...
- Oh my God. Please don't say another word.
I don't know
if I'm gonna puke or pass out.
- I hear you.
- I wrapped what's left in a cloth for you.
For me? Why would I want
the leftover pieces?
So that you can go talk to Nattis.
Okay.
So, I go find a quiet corner
to hand her this and say,
"Nattis, your dog was the main course.
You can call off the search."
Doesn't matter where you do it.
We ate her dog for dinner.
- She'll never forgive me.
- Probably not.
Just take it.
You have to do it!
- What?
- Come on.
Good. Now don't let go.
Fine. You'll be fine, okay?
- Okay?
- I don't f*cking know, man.
Mochi
Seriously?
What the hell am I doing?
[pensive music playing]
Ossi! Ossi, Ossi, Ossi!
Come over here! Come! Come on.
Okay
Okay [clears throat]
You can do this.
Nattis
I am so sorry.
[spry, lively music playing]
Hello?
Oh, what now?
[Kina] Hello?
Help!
- Can you let me in?
- What the f*ck, Kina?!
How'd you get there?
- Can you let me in?
- Yeah, of course.
sh*t. I think it's frozen.
[Kina] Keep trying!
[Kina] Ah!
[Filip] Holy crap.
- Hold on. Let me help.
- I can't feel my fingers.
You could have frozen to death!
Why were you out in the storm?
- I was digging a tunnel.
- Why?
If it keeps snowing, we'll suffocate.
- [shushing]
- [whimpering]
And my phone has no service,
and I wanna reach Dougie.
If I die here, he'll never know.
No one's gonna die.
We have top-notch ventilation.
[Nattis] One, two, three, four.
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
And blow, blow.
That makes me want to dance.
- Mouth to mouth.
- I got it.
Okay.
[groans]
[Ossi chuckles]
All right, he's back. He's back!
- Hi.
- Hey, hey.
How ya' doin', buddy?
You were kinda dead for a few seconds.
- f*ck! That was close.
- Hi!
- Holy sh*t. It's a miracle.
- [Ossi exhales]
- It's Stefan, right?
- Uh-huh.
You were unconscious,
and you have blood on your face.
- But you're okay.
- [Stefan] Last thing I remember is
- [Ossi] Too many drinks from?
- [Nattis] The hell is this doing here?
Now let's find something
to clean you up a bit.
- You got towels?
- Uh, excuse me
- Thanks.
- Where's my dog?
- [Ossi] Why're you asking about Mochi?
- What?
- What did you do to my dog, you pervert?
- Don't think he's in any shape to answer.
- Maybe it's his heart, or a concussion.
- The one in the carrier?
Jesus Christ! He's barely conscious!
- I promise I'll catch you. Just do it.
- [Nicholas] I'm not letting go, forget it!
[Nicholas groaning blearily]
[Petter] How do you plan
to get down, then?
Anyway I can that avoids
trusting the idiot who fed me drugs!
Go away. I'll figure it out!
Cool. I'll be in the kitchen
with the lemon curds
if you change your mind.
I changed my mind!
[groans] I'm getting claustrophobic.
Ah! [Groans]
Oh, sh*t! Dude! [Petter chuckles]
Nailed the landing.
Shut up and give me the antidote!
Why would I have something like that?
Listen, you shouldn't try to resist
the mushrooms' flow.
Just let it come, then join me.
- I shouldn't resist? Just flow!
- Flow with it, man. Enjoy the ride.
- [Petter] Be the flow, bro.
- Bro, bro, bro
- Yeah, bro. Don't fight it. Flow, huh?
- Don't fight it.
Chill, I served you my best stuff. Enjoy.
Idiot! I'm going to k*ll you!
[Henrik] I'm so damn sick
of everyone judging me.
[Henrik sighs]
You think you could do better
in this market?
You don't know sh*t.
You wouldn't last a week in that jungle,
building your own empire.
You are not g*dd*mn Henrik Mller!
Stop staring!
[yells]
I'll k*ll you with my bare hands,
you stiff m*therf*cker!
- You and Filip enjoying country life?
- [Henrik] I'm not scared!
- [Henrik yelling in distance]
- [Caroline] Yes. We absolutely love it.
No need to pretend.
You two are not doing good.
Of course it's impressive
to be self-sufficient
and make your own bread and such.
Mother Earth will be
very thankful for your efforts.
But if we're being honest,
it's all just smoke and mirrors.
The planet's turned into sh*t,
but we still think we can save it.
When we all know that we're going to drown
in the flood of sin.
Or end up cooked alive
by the sun piercing the ozone.
Like a bucket
of original Kentucky Fried Chicken.
You think you can hide here
in your fancy new country house?
It's a lovely thought, but guess what?
Peekaboo!
We see right through you.
We can see straight into the depths
of that abyss that surrounds your heart
and that nothing will ever be able
to shine a light on.
And we see what you've been thinking.
You're thinking, as soon as you con
enough folks into fully financing you,
you'll get busloads of morons
to throw their money out the window
and fill the coffers
of your sustainable economy initiative
while you repopulate the countryside
with multiple babies
and rule the staff
and four-star chefs with an iron fist.
As goes on your vision board. [Chuckles]
But none of this free-range fantasy
is going to happen.
You're going to end up
so goddamned lonely.
Morally and financial bankrupt.
Poor and bitter
and so f*cking mean to each other
that you won't be able to set foot
in the mountains again
without having some kind of
panic-inducing aversion
or psychosomatic psoriasis.
- You don't know sh*t about us.
- [Jacob] Oh, don't I?
I know you're as insecure
and scared sh*t less
as an orphan waiting for the adoption
to come through.
After you invested your and Filip's
entire life into this hobbit hole
with the notion you could
turn it into Grand Hotel on ice.
But it's obvious to all who've been made
to spend an evening in these drafty halls
that if you can't get
this bed and breakfast delusion
off the ground and profitable
within a year or two, which you won't,
then the only logical conclusion is
You're f*cked.
[laughs]
Would you have any sparkling wine
or ice-cold lemonade
with vodka to spice up?
I'm all out of lemonade.
[Ninni] Wow, I like your true self, Jacob.
I see you.
And I like it.
[eccentric, lively music playing]
[crying]
I was asked to keep the meter running
and given this lovely suite.
I haven't gone
I haven't been outside the room
since I got here.
Shouldn't we ask the others
if one of 'em knows what happened?
- I mean, it could be anyone.
- Good idea.
I couldn't have done it, because I have
severe allergies to fur and dander,
and my eyes start to water
and then I sneeze if I even touch animals.
- Rabbits are the worst.
- Oh, really?
[muffled] Then cats, then dogs.
If I had done it,
my allergies would have kicked in.
I'm going to ask you one last time.
What'd you do to Mochi?
I didn't do anything.
I've never even seen it.
I think it'd be easier to understand him
if you took the tape off.
Nobody asked you!
[Nicholas, distorted]
Are we playing hide and seek?
You're a chick now?
I love chicks.
Here, little-little-little chicky.
Ah!
I know you're in here!
Here, chicky!
I really don't like tunnels!
Let me go!
Yoo-hoo?
Chicky.
[Nicholas laughing]
I got you, huh.
That's the worst hiding place ever, silly.
Chicky! I got you now.
I know you're in there. You hear me?
What? Can I see?
Whoa!
This is the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
I need to get under that tin skin.
I see you, Jakey.
[Ninni moans]
Do you see me?
Tell me I'm pretty.
I'll never be drunk enough for this.
Find someone else.
Anyway, what's with your constant need
for f*cking validation?
Jesus!
Get some likes off your f*cking socials.
And try to scrounge up
a sandwich or something.
You look scrawny.
Thank you.
You need a new stylist.
You look like a discount Kardashian.
Without the curves, this dress gives
more blingy effendi than Fendi.
Yay!
I've got her work history memorized.
She pays her bills on time.
Works as a nurse and nannies on the side.
It says on her background check.
I know the wind is now blowing
at 25 meters per second,
because I have eight different
weather alerts checking for updates
and pinging at me on the phone
every two f*cking seconds.
I also know that in order
to tunnel out five kilometers,
you need a snow shovel
and snow gloves and snow boots
and a blizzard-proof GPS
so you don't freeze to death.
I'm not an idiot, but
Just sitting around waiting
for some, I don't know,
someone or something to get me out of
this sh*t show and where I wanna go.
Are you okay?
Hmm.
Carro seems to be doing well.
[Filip] Hmm.
[Kina] I've never seen
a more beautiful pregnant woman.
She really has that glow.
[Caroline groans]
[Filip] Yeah.
I tell her that all the time.
This place really is
the ultimate dream, for both of us.
But sometimes
YOU AND ME AGAINST THE WORLD
[Caroline cries]
[Filip] I mean, you know I love her.
I really do.
- It's just, marriage isn't
- Easy?
- No.
- [Kina chuckles]
- It's not?
- No.
Since when are relationships ever easy?
It was, once.
Yeah, at the beginning,
when you're head over heels and blind.
Then the annoyances come.
And you either find a way
to accept it or find a good lawyer.
Wow.
That's so romantic.
I think it is.
Honestly.
You've been friends with Ossi
for a long time. You know him.
- Mm-hmm.
- He's such a pain in the a*s.
Drives me f*cking insane.
[groans]
The only reason I don't leave
is he's the one I hate the least.
We choose each other.
We hold on through the days,
through the years,
through disaster after disaster,
and we choose each other.
Over and over.
To me, that is very romantic.
But now the big question is,
will I finally lose him
because I'll have lost
both of my feet to frostbite?
He is squeamish.
Why don't I give those piggies a rub
and see if I can save your marriage?
You're so sweet.
- Yeah.
- Are they still there?
All ten, yes.
[Kina moans]
I'm such an idiot.
Filip?
Seriously, you f*ck?
PART5: STORM
[playing spry, lively tune]
[Caroline] You f*cking as*h*le!
"This whole place
could burn down this minute."
[funky, quirky music playing]
Shiny.
[Henrik] What the hell
do you want from me?
Stop judging me, I said.
Shut your ferret face, you little sh*t.
[Petter] You think I'm a nerd.
That's what I heard
'Cause you've never heard my spoken word.
With rainfall
and harvest.
How do I look?
Smashing!
I know you had
nothing to do with it, Stefan.
I will not let my deranged friend
hurt a hair on your head.
[Henrik] I've held up
my end of the bargain.
I've managed my assets.
I buy houses and horses
- Three, four, five, six.
- and f*cking fur collars!
I go to the ends of the earth to take
my wife and kids on five-star vacations.
And what do I get in return?
"How you see yourself
as a woman during childbirth,
when you're pushing life out
through your vag*na!"
[Ossi] What the hell, Nattis?
Holy f*ck!
I don't I don't know
what to tell you, miss.
- Pretty sure he's telling us the truth.
- I don't
If you just
[Ossi] No, no, no! Nattis, come on.
You're going to tell me where my dog is,
or you start losing fingers 'til you do.
How the hell am I
supposed to think straight
when there's a constant buzzing
inside here, like a hurricane?
[imitates buzzing]
I'm going f*cking insane here!
I've got a storm blasting a hole in here!
You're sucking the light out of my soul!
Stupid dream house! f*cking farm demon!
Bring it on!
So? I forgot why we were down here?
'Cause of the mushrooms.
You did this!
[Stefan] Please.
- [Nattis] One. Two.
- [Ossi] Nattis, come on.
- I don't know where your Mochi is.
- f*cked-faced f*ck, start talking.
I know where Mochi is, stop counting.
- [snip]
- He's right here.
Holy f*ck!
- [Ossi] Jesus Christ!
- I snipped his f*cking finger off.
[Ossi] I told you, stop counting!
Why did you do that?
Are you out of your mind?!
- I'll put it back.
- [Stefan] My finger!
[screaming]
[Nattis] It's not sticking!
- How do I glue it? I need glue.
- Push it back on.
- Oh my God!
- Push it hard.
- It's bleeding so much!
- You can't just push it back on!
I need a doctor!
[Nattis, Ossi, Stefan
all yelling in distance]
[Stefan] I need stitches! And a doctor!
Yep. We got a gusher.
[Nicholas groaning]
[Petter] We need ice.
You need to help me up. [Nicholas groans]
- [Petter] I'll be back.
- Don't leave me like this.
I'm too young to die.
[Stefan groaning]
- I can
- Shh!
- Filip
- Not a word. Ah!
Let me think, okay?
Uh So let's do this. Um
You two, get out.
Mm-hmm.
I'll just, uh Oops.
Sorry. Take my package.
[Ossi clears throat]
All right, he's all yours.
Okay.
[sighs]
I really did have every intention
to come back to see you earlier,
but my plans got derailed.
Don't I know it.
I had to miss Scrabble tonight.
[Filip] Sorry. I love Scrabble.
- Oh?
- Now, let's fix this mess.
You need stitches.
I wouldn't bother.
Unless you're good
with a needle and thread.
There's no way an ambulance is
coming out for a finger.
[phone line droning]
- [operator] Emergency services.
- Hello?
[straining]
[distorted] Ah! Stupid thing!
I'm a unicorn.
Hello
[Nicholas chuckles]
I'm flying through rainbows. Whoo!
- [Petter] Okay, I got this.
- Am I going to die?
- Am I still bleeding?
- No, no, no. You're too shiny to die.
- You're so sweet. I love you, man.
- Bro.
This armor's so hot.
Ice! It'll fix this!
[fraught, eccentric music playing]
Hey.
The cake
I can't serve this.
- [Nicholas groaning in distance]
- Lichen.
[grunts]
Birdie.
Giddy up!
And this goes there.
It's my best work ever.
So fluffy.
[Nicholas] Help!
[Nicholas struggling]
sh**t, I forgot! Uh, I'm coming!
Yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming!
- I'm coming! Hold on!
- Help!
Son of a b*tch! Calf cramp!
[groans]
Phew.
[chuckles]
That was a close call. Petter
Meh.
The other one's cramping. I need to
Ah!
[splashing in distance]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no! Buddy!
I'm getting the first aid kit.
[operator] Good.
- And you're sending an ambulance?
- Yes, but it might be a while
- because of the storm.
- Oh, f*ck!
I lost everything.
- [operator] Hello?
- [Filip] Okay.
- I'm going to die alone.
- Hello?
- Alone with no money.
- Hello?
Henrik, you have a family,
a wife and two beautiful children
who worship the ground you walk on, okay?
They really do.
- It'll be fine.
- It'll be fine?
- Let's hear it again.
- It'll be fantastic.
Even better. It'll be great.
- Good job.
- It'll be fine.
It'll be fine in more or less 20 minutes.
[entrancing, psychedelic music playing]
Papi, where are you?
[Stefan groaning]
[Stefan] Hello, miss.
What's going on?
Holy sh*t.
Why are you bleeding?
Oh, well, it's a bit confusing.
Where do I begin?
At the beginning.
Your friend, Filip, offered for me
to leave the meter running
in case someone needed a ride,
and he gave me this suite to stay in.
And I said,
"Wow, the king could live here."
And I saw the towels and the bathtub,
so I took a very hot bath with candles.
And while I was, um, uh, enjoying that,
I was rudely interrupted,
and I made the mistake of getting out
without putting a bath mat down
and slipped and hit my head,
trying to prevent the blonde woman
from stealing my keys.
And she locked me in here,
then someone opened the door
and threw a leash at me.
Who opened the door and did that?
It was the guy,
who looks like that actor.
What's his name again?
The one in the movie
where they cuss a lot.
Dead Deadpool?
Ryan Reynolds.
Only this guy does have a beard,
and when I saw him again,
he was with another woman.
Not the blonde one.
This one has dark hair.
And she's on the shorter side.
But not that short.
And she asked me lots of questions.
And she was very angry.
I didn't understand, really,
but maybe she was having a bad day.
Maybe she doesn't have anyone else
to take it out on.
You need medical attention, right away.
I doubt this bandage was clean
when they put in on,
so let's get you fixed up
before you lose more fingers.
Yes, I think one is enough.
Thank you. You are so lovely.
Did you just call me lovely?
- He's comfortable, right?
- Super comfy.
He just needs a little
He doesn't like a lot of pressure.
I know. I'm just tucking.
There. Nice and snug.
Forever.
Uh, so, um
Bon voyage, Mochi.
Hold my hand.
[Nicholas in distance] Coucou!
- [Nicholas laughs]
- I lost my mind. I totally went berserk.
- [Nicholas] Where'd the party go?
- I cut off an innocent man's pointer.
[clattering in distance]
[groans]
Stuck the landing.
[groans]
Well you're not the only one
acting a little weird.
Okay, so, uh, I made it to the kitchen.
- [operator] You're doing great.
- What do I
Once you put the severed digit in a bag,
you need to put it on ice.
- Okay. Ice, ice, ice.
- Now get some ice to put in a bag.
Do you have any?
Do you have ice trays?
Who in the f*cking hell
would put an empty ice tray in
- Inhale
- Are you there? Sir?
Some idiot took all the ice and didn't
- Try to remain calm, sir.
- Okay.
Snow could work. Do you have some nearby?
You can put some in a bag.
Okay.
- Do you have ice, sir?
- Okay.
We need to keep it cold.
All good.
Nothing to it.
I have the finger in the snow now.
- Good job.
- Um
- Are they en route?
- Yes, they're on their way.
I'm sorry, I haven't been able to get out
to put anything on the road,
- so they'll need to go...
- [barking]
Hello?
Sir?
Are you there?
- This isn't feeling right, Miss.
- Who needs feelings?
I can't help thinking
your husband won't agree with this.
- Enough talking, tell me I'm gorgeous.
- Now I'm confused.
Do I stop talking
or tell you what you said?
Say it like I'm your goddess!
Henrik.
Your corporation was your entire identity.
I always knew it, and now so will
The world.
[Henrik grunts]
[Jacob] You're drunk.
Now, where's that spa?
[Ninni] I'm your goddess!
Tell me you need me!
[Stefan, haltingly] I need air.
[Ninni] You need me! Say it!
- [Stefan] I need you to
- [Ninni] Again!
[Stefan] let go! I'm going to...
Don't you dare!
God, you're hot, baby.
So hot.
I will miss him.
- [Ossi] Mmm?
- But I can't stand animals.
I only got him when I realized
I was never gonna have kids.
I just needed something
to keep me company.
f*cking rat! What the hell?
- My brand new Guccis?!
- You're alive!
- Stupid dog.
- It's a miracle.
- Do you know how much these cost?
- Hey! Hello, darling.
I swear, that f*cking mutt.
Ossi, he's alive! My Mochi's alive!
Oh, my little fluffer butter,
what would I ever do without you?
- [weakly] Hey, we missed you.
- Hey, puppy.
- Where were you, buddy?
- You're so sweet.
You came back to Mommy. Aw
We thought you were in the fire, pumpkin.
We have to celebrate, Ossi.
Get some bubbles!
f*ck!
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Christ!
Ah! f*ck that's hot!
Oh no. We are so screwed!
Oh
- Yes.
- [Filip] I'll be with him in a second. Ah!
[operator] Is the person responsive?
- I don't know.
- How is he?
He lost his pants.
Check his pulse, if you can.
- Okay.
- Sir, can you feel a pulse?
- So I can feel his pulse, but, uh
- That's good, sir.
he's got a leash around his neck,
and he's passed out?
He's okay.
- But he has a pulse?
- Are you okay?
- [Nicholas] Help!
- I got noodles!
Can you lift your arms?
- [Nicholas gasps]
- That's it.
Swimming in armor?
Boys will be boys.
- Oh, there it is.
- It sounded great.
The trick is to bank it off the tasset.
Away evil spirits.
Away c*ck cocoon.
Be gone.
[screaming]
- Help is coming.
- Who's driving in this weather?
- The ambulance.
- Oh.
- They'll be here soon.
- They're very brave.
What's that smoke? Is she on fire?
Filip! Carro's burning!
[Ninni] Caroline!
Sir? Is everything all right?
I have a feeling
the leash set off my allergies.
Okay, let's take this party
to the next level
[cheers]
with DJ Ossi!
[Nattis] Oss, we love you!
I want to dedicate the next song
to my fuzzy little buddy,
the m*therf*cker who almost died tonight.
- He's f*ck' alive!
- A little song that goes
[in Swedish] Who let the dogs out?
[in English] Who? Who? Who? Who?
Who let the dogs out?
Who? Who? Who? Who?
Who?
Woof, woof, woof, woof.
- Who let the dogs out?
- Dogs out! Dogs out!
Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?
[Ossi] Mochi! Mochi! Mochi!
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, sh*t!
- Carro!
- Whoa, Carro! You're on fire.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Get in the water!
[Caroline continues screaming]
[Nattis] Is that smoke?
Hey!
In the water!
Be careful of the baby. But get in there!
- All the way in.
- No!
[distant, muffled clamoring]
[Filip] Caroline!
[serene music playing]
- [door beeping]
- Can someone open the door?!
[faint, muffled clamoring]
[Filip] Let me in!
Grab my hand.
[Filip] Honey! Honey!
- You're safe! The baby's gonna be okay!
- Over here!
I can't feel my toes. Ossi!
Reach, come on!
- Put that down here!
- Caroline!
Oh my God, Kina!
Kina, what's wrong? Why're you limping?
You won't divorce me
even if I never walk normally again?
Of course not, you're my soulmate.
But you will be able
to wear shoes again, right?
[Henrik] Stay calm!
I've got you, I've got you.
We're almost there. Hang on.
- Are you ready to go? Because I am.
- [Henrik] I'm hoisting you out!
- Okay
- Now help her get her legs down.
- Careful. Slowly, slowly.
- Ah! Hold on!
- [door beeping]
- I hate these f*cking assholes.
[Ninni] Okay, move your legs that way.
You're okay. All right, you're good now.
You're good. Okay, how's the baby?
Move really slowly, okay?
[beeping continues]
Lie down on your side.
Uh, Carro? Are there plates down here?
I can serve the lemon curd cake now.
[Henrik] I'm a man!
[shouting, grunts]
Somebody call an ambulance!
- She needs a doctor!
- What's wrong with you people?!
I'll just put it over here
while you dry off.
[Ninni] Just keep breathing!
Just keep breathing!
[Henrik] Give her a little space.
She needs some air!
She's okay, Filip, she's okay.
I saved her!
[Ninni] She needs a doctor for the baby!
[Filip] She doesn't need a f*cking doctor.
She's not even pregnant!
It's a fake belly insert to fool people!
[party music halts]
A fake bump?
Prank of the year, sis.
sh*t.
[Filip] Yeah.
We went through a surrogate.
I imagine Nattis finds that
a very un-PC thing to do.
Or nuts?
- Or desperate?
- Jesus.
[Filip] But you might understand better
if we'd had a chance to share
all of the miscarriages,
IVF and adoption failures
that I wish I could have shared
and gotten off my chest,
if any of you had ever bothered
to ask how I was doing.
To ask about me.
- How have you been, Filip?
- Shut your judgy face, Nattis!
I'm so sick of your bullshit!
You act like you don't need validation,
but you're actually seeking it constantly
through your haughty judgment
and confrontation.
But when push comes to shove,
what do you do?!
Buy a bumper sticker?!
Post a few broken hearts on your Insta?!
- You are all PC talk, and no action!
- [Nicholas] She's mean, too.
You're kind of vicious.
- And very opinionated.
- Fil's got you.
Stop agreeing and nodding,
you're all a bunch of hypocrites!
[laughing]
You have your heads so far up your asses,
you're blinded to what's
right under your noses!
Mller.
Henrik Mller
You've been so busy building your empire
and living in your fantasy land
that you missed out on the fact
that your wife numbs her loneliness
with pills and booze
and f*ck anything that moves.
No offense, Ninni.
I get it, you just want to be seen!
We all want to be seen.
It doesn't make us f*cking narcissists.
True.
She loves you,
but you are completely checked out.
- She needs you to see her.
- I see her.
She doesn't care if you're a CEO,
a CFO or a g*dd*mn UFO!
Her husband used to worship her,
and she wants him back.
She wants your attention.
That's how we feel loved and appreciated!
That's the motto I try to live by.
In the beginning you did!
Now your motto is.
"Watch while I helicopter
on the dance floor
with a lampshade on my head
while Filip rubs my wife's frozen feet!"
What?
When are you gonna take off
the clown costume, Ossi? When?
Land the f*cking helicopter.
We need you down here.
And I'm pretty sure your wife needs you.
But I don't know
if she actually wants you.
Because she thinks marriage is about
putting up with each other.
If someone annoys you to the point
- you can't stand them, leave!
- Filip
I will not be silenced!
This is my party! I'm the guest of honor!
Your honor.
Now, you two
Us two?
I think we're next.
Next?
No, no, no, no, no. sh*t.
You're off the hook.
I got nothing.
Unless, uh, you have
something else to contribute?
Jacob?
Any other brutal truths
to get off your chest?
- I had some work done.
- [Filip chuckles]
No f*cking sh*t.
Your new face is pulled so tight,
it looks it'll crack if you smile.
You haven't changed expression
since you got here.
- [Petter] Have anything for me?
- I don't.
Because your lifestyle
actually makes sense.
You're the least crazy person here.
Yes!
Filip, please stop.
Oh-h*-h*. Is it finally too much for you?!
That's enough.
I would die for you.
But our issues aren't going to
magically disappear once we have a child.
You've become so obsessed
with ticking off the boxes
of what you think you're supposed to
have accomplished by now,
and I jumped on-board the crazy train.
Against my better judgment.
I've had to pretend none of it gets to me,
none of it wakes me in a panic at night,
but I can't pretend anymore.
It's k*lling me.
So, yeah.
You're right.
It is enough.
[sirens wailing]
- Oh my God!
- What the f*ck?
- It's the cops!
- Who is that?
The cops are here!
They're busting up the party!
Shiny.
- It's okay, baby.
- Are you sure, Papi?
- What was that? A g*nsh*t? What?
- [Henrik] It's an ambulance.
- I thought we were gonna die.
- [Henrik] No, baby.
- [Ninni] I was so scared.
- [Henrik] I'll always protect you.
Thanks for coming.
[Nicholas] Thank you for having us.
Let's do it again next year.
[Ninni] My hero.
[Nicholas] Could I borrow your sword?
[Kina] Look.
The wind isn't howling.
The storm's over.
Hello, everyone.
I heard an ambulance?
[somber music playing]
[Petter] Is he dead?
Is anyone dead?
Ossi?
Look out!
[Filip] The good news is, nobody died.
Not this time.
But we did suffer a loss.
The illusion that we're in control.
That we're sensible and civilized.
That we know who we are,
what we're doing
What's important.
Truly important.
So, my friends, what did we learn?
Nothing.
But we survived.
And apparently, sometimes,
that is enough.
[quirky ukelele music playing]
Because after the storm
PART6: THE CALM AFTERWARDS
comes the sunshine.
- [Stefan] Cute dog.
- Oh, thanks.
What kind is it?
[Filip] And when the fair weather returns
And then the Wi-Fi was good,
and so was my fever.
[Filip] what happens?
I was worried about you. I'm glad.
- [Filip] Well
- Darling.
that's when the self-deception kicks in.
- Exquisite! [Laughs]
- It was.
We suppress.
- What do you go by?
- Usually Nicholas.
Or else Nico,
or Ricoco for my close friends.
- We fall right back into our same routine.
- Take my hand.
Don't worry, the snow broke my fall.
But, uh, I don't recommend loafers
in blizzard conditions.
- And we pretend we did learn something.
- See ya! Bye.
- Good to see you.
- You too.
We feel the warmth and tell ourselves,
"Things are going to be different."
I smell an influx on the way, hmm? Soon.
[Ninni] Papi, c'mon!
We're blinded by that glimmer of hope
Up.
for a brighter future.
[Stefan] My biggest fare ever.
Are you going to share the charges?
We conveniently brush
the disaster under the rug.
I'll take 'em.
We don't even think about
how we managed to survive it.
It's going to be busy,
with winter break soon.
You've never seen anything like it.
It'll be nuts.
And when we're standing in the sun
with a smile on our faces,
pretending to be unscathed,
it's as if our troubles
have been blown away with the wind.
When are we coming back?
For Easter!
[Filip] Call it self-preservation.
Survival instinct.
Or pure idiocy.
What the hell do I know?
The only true certainty
Is that there will always be
another storm coming.
["Tip Toe Thru' the Tulips With Me"
by Tiny Tim playing]
Tiptoe through the window
By the window, that is where I'll be
Come tiptoe through the tulips with me
Oh, tiptoe from the garden
By the garden of the willow tree
And tiptoe through the tulips with me
Knee deep in flowers, we'll stray
We'll keep the showers away
And if I kiss you in the garden
In the moonlight
Will you pardon me
And tiptoe through the tulips with me
Knee deep in flowers, we'll stray
We'll keep the showers away
And if I kiss you in the garden
In the moonlight
Will you pardon me
And tiptoe through the tulips with me
[song ends]
[spry, lively outro music playing]
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Storm, The (2026)
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