Sexual Impulse (1997)

[bunniefuu]

(ethereal music)
(wildlife chirping)

(whirring)

(sensual music)

♪ Beauty ♪

♪ A tantalizing tease ♪

♪ Desire ♪

♪ Is a dangerous disease ♪

♪ Searching for something
you cannot remember ♪

♪ A deal is made and you fade away ♪

♪ She's turned you inside out ♪

♪ You're no longer what
you're talkin' about, no no ♪

♪ You're playing with fire ♪

(groans)
♪ And you're gonna burn ♪

- [Person In Background] Sorry.

(snaps)

- [Person In Background] God, ow!

(panting)

- [Warren] Morning, Boss.

- Back at ya, laddie.

Ah, Grace, my love, I
don't know how you do it.

You get more beautiful every day.

- Don't give me any of that
Irish charm, Joseph Flanagan.

I'm getting older every
day and you know it.

- Ah, the older the fiddle,
the sweeter the tune.

- Second law of thermodynamics, Flanagan,

everything disintegrates in time,

including this club of yours.

- Now, lassie, we've pulled
through worst times than this.

Quite seems like only
yesterday an angel of a girl

walked through these very doors

and helped to make the Bull Moose Club

this city's finest private men's club.

- Yeah, now, it's the only one left,

and I'm getting too old
to help you save it.

You and your boys are on
your own this time, Flanagan.

- Oh, not to worry.

I'll bet there's plenty of new applicants

waiting to join the club,
right, Warren, me boy?

- Sure, boss.

There's one waiting for
you over there right now.

- Maybe we are in trouble after all.

Oh, Ms. Powers our new,
lady, district attorney.

Did the world suddenly
run out of criminals,

lassie, that you're trying to run

the last private men's club out of town.

- Flanagan, just open up
your sexist club to women

and I won't have to close you down.

Bull Moose Club is a men's club,

(sighs)

and it'll stay that way
(phone clacks)

until the day I die.

(phone clacks)
(ominous music)

♪ That's what it's like (indistinct) ♪

(indistinct singing)

- Mornin'.

- You'll get a kick out of this.

I was just talking to Dan here

about my new recipe for lobster Thermidor.

- Thermometer?

- Get this.

Instead of using dry white
wine, I use red Madeira.

- What's the matter with you boys?

Be men for God's sakes.

Whistle at women.

Drink whisky.

k*ll a grizzly.

Do something.

Do you think the likes
of Teddy, Hemingway,

and the Duke gathered
here to discuss recipes?

(upbeat music)
(giggling)

(siren wailing)
(squeals)

- The keys, the keys!

(keys jingling)

(beeps)

- I really have to go.

- So you gonna call me?

- Sure, what's your name again?

- I'll write it down for you.

- So how'd you do at the races?

- (sighs) All right.

Had a filly show on the 13th.

- I thought they only
ran 12 races in a day.

- They do.

- Fillies these days don't
run like they used to.

- Boy, you got that right.

Joe, let me buy you a beer.

- Why does it always cost me
money when you buy me a beer?

- Set us up, Warren.

Hey, Joe, tell us about
the time again when you

and Hemingway got drunk in...

- It was Madrid,

and we fought fascists by
days and laid wh*res by night,

discussed the meaning of life
and got drunk in between.

Those were good days, sonny.

(indistinct rasping)

- Yeah, days of wine and roses

before all this political
correctness stuff.

To the good old days.

- To the man's world,

when men were men and
women were damn glad of it.

- Nobody move or you're dead!

- Just hand over the cash and
jewelry and nobody gets hurt.

(indistinct shouting)

Shut up, stupid!

Here, geek, fill up the bag.

- [Lou] Yeah, yeah, sure.

- You, too, old man.

Open the register.

- No, you'll not be getting
my money, ya hooligans.

- Joe, they've got g*ns.

Give 'em the money; it's not worth it!

- You wanna be a dead hero there, gramps?

- No, just a man.

- Oh, Johnny, you forgot your racing form

with my number on it?

(screams)

- Nice catch, Mr. White.
(whimpering)

- Thank you Mr. Black.

(chair screeches)

- (laughs) Uh-uh, uh-huh.

- [Mr. White] You like this, huh, b*tch?

- Johnny, help me!

- Come on, come on!

- All right, sonny, you made your point.

- Let's, go, let's go!
- Don't do anything-

- [Mr. Black] Come on, move it!

- I'll give you the money.
- Johnny!

(laughs)

Johnny!

- Mr. White, I believe it's time to go.

- Come on, sweet pea.

You're coming with us.

(suspenseful music)

(g*ns firing)

(thuds)

- That's should teach those ruffians.

A man does what a man has to do.

- Joseph, you're shot!

- It's only a scratch, lassie.

It takes avoid than that
to bring down a bull moose.

(thuds)

- Quick, call an ambulance, Danny!

(clattering)

Oh my god!

Danny, hurry up!

Hang on, Joe, help is on the way.

You're gonna be okay.

- Oh my god, it's in his heart!

He's dying!

- Joe, Joe, why?

It wasn't worth it.

- I had no choice.

I'm a man.

- What?

What do you mean you had no choice?

- A man does what a man has to do.

(groans) It's the way.

The tao.

Now, it's up to you.

- [Warren] I don't understand.

What do you mean?

What's up to me?

Joe!

- [Joe] Become men for God's sakes.

I'm coming, lassie.

(upbeat, ethereal music)
(wildlife chirping)

(melancholic organ music)

(weeping)

- [Warren] He was the light
and inspiration of my life.

- [Grace] He was the last and
best of a dying generation.

- [Joe] Sex is the last vestige of manhood

most of you still have left.

Lose that and all is lost.

In the great sex wars of this decade,

the Bull Moose Club is your last resort.

Keep it if you can.

See you boys on the other
side if you can make it.

Signed Joseph P. Flanagan.

- [Dave] Man, did Flanagan
throw some funeral.

- Yeah, best one I've ever been to.

- [Dave] Yeah.

- Joseph P. Flanagan.

I'd like you all to drink toast
to the memory of the late,

great Joseph P. Flanagan.

(exhales heavily)

(indistinct chanting)

There's just one more thing now.

Surely, you know he wouldn't want to worry

anyone while he was alive.

There's a $50,000 note

that's due on the mortgage

next month.

(sighs) So I suppose you
could say the club is,

well, it's ours to lose.

(crickets chirping)

(dramatic music)

(water bubbling and splashing)

(sensual music)

(moaning)

(birds chirping)
(chattering)

(tapping)

- Okay, okay, let's
get this meeting going.

Where is everybody?

- Most of the men
apparently were scared off

by that newspaper article.

- Newspaper article?

What newspaper article?

- Read all about it.

(whacks)

- Yeah, those newspaper babes
really did a number on us.

- Yeah.

- Listen to this.

And I quote, "For too many years,

it's been a reactionary
blight on this community

that has poisoned the
minds of all too many men."

- Don't you guys get it?

There's a sex w*r going
on and you're the enemy.

Either stand up and fight

or just whine and wimp away.

- Hold on, that's why
we're calling this meeting.

Joe wanted me to revive his vision,

but I don't see how.

Press is against us, the
DA is out to nail us,

and we haven't got the money to make

the balloon payment on
the mortgage next month.

I just don't see how we're gonna do it.

We're barely paying our bills as it is.

- Hey, let's take up a collection.

- Anybody got $50,000?

$40,000?

20,000, 10,000?

How 'bout 10 bucks?

- Hey, put me in for 10.

- Great.

- Maybe we should just sell the place

and take the money and run.

- Hey, that's not a bad idea.

(clangs)

- That's it!

I've had enough!

Joseph was right.

You're not men!

- Wait a minute, we're doing our best.

There's a lot to consider here.

- Consider this.

I quit.

I will not stand here and
watch everything Joseph

worked his whole life for
be taken and destroyed!

- Grace, we need you.

- First, Joseph gets himself k*lled,

and now, you're k*lling his legacy.

Maybe in my next life.

- Grace?
(chiming)

Grace!

- Okay, we hold off selling the place

until I can figure out what to do.

We open tomorrow as usual.

Meeting's over.

- Well, that's it.

The fat lady has sung.

- Well, we're down the tubes now.

What a pity, the whole thing.

- Okay, boss, what do you want me to do?

- I don't know.

We go on down the road as usual, I guess.

Run an ad for a new barmaid, will ya?

- You got it.

- [Protestors] Bull,
bull, the bull must go!

Bull, bull, the bull must go!

Bull, bull, the bull must go!

- I don't believe this.

- [Johnny] Me neither, man.

Check out the t*ts on the brunette.

- [Protestors] Bull,
bull, the bull must go!

- What?
- The bull must go!

- You guys just stick around.

This is gonna be a great story.

Okay, girls, you're doing
a really good job out here.

I want you to hold down the
fort 'cause I'm going in.

We're gonna close down this sexist club.

(cheering)

- I don't know, Johnny,
what're we gonna do?

- Hi, I'd like to apply
for the barperson position.

- It's barmaid, and we don't
want your kind around here,

babe, so take a hike.

- Babe?

Think again.

Here's my resume,

and you'll see I am the best

and only applicant for this job.

And if I don't get it,
I'll see you in court,

'cause it's called job
discrimination, babe.

- Let me see the resume.

- [Protestors] Bull,
bull, the bull must go!

Bull, bull, the bull must go!

- Look, sisters, what we have here

is one of the last few pockets
of male resistance missed

by our frontal as*ault on men
over the last few decades.

Remember back in the sixties
when we burned our bras

to make men think that women's liberation

was really sexual liberation,

you know, free love and all that?

Well, in case you haven't noticed,

I'm not wearing a bra (chuckles).

- You mean it's a trick?

- You got it, honey.

Men are always suckers for sex.

And I'm kind of the rear guard

doing a little mopping up operation.

And frankly, if you don't
get outta here quick,

you're gonna blow my cover, right?

So scoot, okay, thank you.

- Well, under the circumstances,

we'll certainly consider you.

- If the job wasn't already taken that is.

How could you forget?

- Well, I-

- I'm so sorry, you know how men are.

They're always forgetting
our anniversaries,

birthdays, even hiring us it seems,

just like little boys.

Aren't they cute?

Oh, I'm sorry, I hope you
weren't put out too much.

Don't be a stranger now.

Please, come again.

(pops)

- Yeah, I really appreciate your help,

but who are you?

- I'm Kali, your new barmaid, silly.

- Yeah, of course, she's our new barmaid.

- But how?

I mean, who, did you...

- (laughing) Really, is life
worth so many questions?

Why don't you boys just sit back and relax

and let me get you a beer.

After all, that's why I'm here, right, hm?

(paper crumpling)

(gentle jazz music)

(hair dryer whistling)

(gentle jazz music continues)

- Honey, I...

- Hi.

- Just what the hell's going on here?

- Bad timing.

Warren, Bob.

Bob, Warren.

- Bad timing?

- Nice to meet you.

- You're doing this worm
because of bad timing?

- Yes, as usual, you came too damn early.

- Too early?

I don't believe this.

I live here.

- Early, late, who keeps track anymore?

You're always with your loser
Bullwinkle friends anyway.

- [Bob] Look, you two
should be alone at a-

- Yeah, well, maybe I'd
be around more often

if I didn't have to take a
number to sleep with you.

- [Bob] time like this.

- At least Bob is here for me,

which is a lot more
than I can say for you.

- Yeah.

- Get outta here!

- So how many has it been anyway?

- What do you want, a list?

(gentle music)
- Hi, boys.

What can I do for you?

- Yeah, what do you
have for a broken heart?

His wife just left him or something.

- Oh, is that all?

- Isn't that enough?

- Oh, now, now, now, now,
now, big boys don't cry.

Women come and women go.

That's the way things are meant to be.

Here, let me show you.

- Now, I'm here.

(chiming)

Now, I'm gone.

Easy come.

Easy go.

- [Johnny] What was that all about?

- I don't know,

but I think I like it.

- Look at this.

Does anybody know how
to play this thing, hm?

- Yeah, yeah, I do.

I once played for the shire.

It was right after the coup.

It was a little melancholy, so I...

Hey, what do you want me to play?

- Anything you want, just play something.

- Okay.
(chuckles)

(gentle piano music)

- Hey, baby, that's pretty good.

(humming)

(chuckles) Let me sing
you a little song here.

(humming)

Yeah.

What else can you do?

♪ Oh, I'm singing ♪

(laughs)

♪ A little song about swingin', yeah ♪

♪ I can tell you like what you hear ♪

♪ Won't you, dear ♪

♪ I got a little song on my mind ♪

♪ And all I wanna do is
sing it just for you ♪

♪ Until you find you're satisfied ♪

♪ Maybe it's a little like the blues ♪

♪ And that was misconstrued ♪

♪ Into sounding like a swing ♪

♪ I'd give about anything
to sing my song ♪

♪ For a man to play along ♪

♪ I'm singin' ♪

♪ A little song about swingin', oh ♪

♪ And all I wanna do is
sing it just for you ♪

(gasps)

♪ Ba-doo, ba-da, ba-dum, ba-bae, hey ♪

So what ya think?

(crickets chirping)

- Some bazonkas, huh?

- You're right.
(wheels screeching)

- Beautiful.

(gentle piano music)

- What the heck?
- I didn't...

The piano, I didn't
realize it was so dusty.

- Oh, gee, let me help you out here.

I'm really sorry about that.

I didn't mean to get it into the...

- I don't think it's gonna come out.

- I've got some old
barmaid's clothes here.

Belt, apron, dress.

Maybe they'll fit.

- Thanks.

I'm sure they will.

What's the matter?

Don't you like what we saw?

- See what?

- No!

Well, I mean, yeah.

I mean, it's not that.

It's...

That's a great fit.

That's a good fit.

- Thanks.

- You know, I have to hand it to you.

You really impressed the boys tonight.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- What about you?

- Yeah (laughs).

Me, too.

Me, too.

- Good, there's hope after all.

- Yeah.

Well, it's been a long time

since we've really had
some fun around here.

Thanks.

- It's a good beginning.

You boys have potential.

- What do you mean?

- You know.

- You're an enigma.

You know that.

- Life is full of little
mysteries, my dear.

(upbeat music)

Well, here's our new
waitresses, Annie and Bettie.

- Oh, really?

Just what may your
qualifications be, ladies?

- I was a double major in college.

- I hope we're not
overqualified for this job.

- You're hired, the
four, the two, you know.

(laughing)

- Okay, ladies, let's get to work.

(chattering)
- (drowned out) Education.

Makes it a little bit harder for you

to understand (drowned out).

(chattering)

(indistinct)

Be careful there.

You know how bad his breath is.

You never know where his hands have been.

(laughing)

- Well, what do you think?

- It's got potential.

Yes, indeed, it's got potential.

- I love it when a plan
starts to come together.

- What plan might that be?

- (chuckles) You know.

You know.

(ba*ls clattering)

- So there a modeling convention in town?

- No, we're waitresses.

- Waitresses?

- Why, you two oughta be stars!

You know, I know Spielberg.

- Steven?

- No, Joe, but he's a nice guy.

Come on, let's go!

- All right (giggles).
- Yeah, all right!

- I don't like this.

They look too happy.

- Disgusting.

We should bust that guy for
sexual harassment right now.

- Well, hold on.

Let's take our time and bust all of 'em.

- Yeah, cut 'em off at the ba*ls.

- Yeah, come on in.

Hey, I wanna fix you a
drink, okay (laughs)?

- No, we're gonna do you, Lou.

- Huh?

(sighs)
- You stand back in the back.

(clatters)

(upbeat music)

- [Lou] Yeah, baby.

Yes.

Oh, boy.

Whoo, yeah!

Oh, yes!

(moans and laughs)

(drowned out by music)

Wow!

(crickets chirping)

(ominous music)

(whacks)

- McClurry, shouldn't we
do something to help him?

- And ruin the fun?

(groaning)
(whacking)

(coughs)

- You're wearing me out, Johnnyboy.

- (panting) Why don't
you trade places with me?

I'll take over.

(laughs)

- I like that, a sense of humor.

- You like that, Kimo?

- Let me take over, Stan.

It's my turn.

- You'll get your turn!

Listen here, Johnnyboy,

it don't pay not to pay
your gambling debts.

You know what I mean?

- Yeah, Mr. De Angelo's
really steamed with you.

- Tell him the check's in the mail.

- Oh, really?

Hey, Stan-

- Shut up, Kimo!

- Listen here, Johnnyboy!

You wanna keep this
pretty boy face of yours?

We want our 20Gs,

(slams)

and we want it now.

(slams)

Talk is cheap, baby.

Kimo, beat it outta him.

(laughs)

(indistinct) Him good.

(whacks)
(groans)

- What did I do, what did I do?

(clattering)

- Get Johnny, you idiot!

- Damn!

- Well, things are really coming together.

- Yeah.
(chiming)

- Hey, let me walk you home.

- What?

I won't hurt anyone.

(door creaking)

(whirring)

So what are you, a bookworm now?

- Oh, yeah.

I mean, no.

No, this is just a book that Kali,

I mean, Grace left behind.

It's kind of interesting actually.

- Hm, good book?

- [Warren] Yeah, it's a good book.

- Here, I found this tacked
on the door when I came in.

(chuckles)

- [Warren] Call an emergency meeting.

So it's official.

We have 10 days to pay
the 50,000-dollar note

or lose the club.

We've gotta fight this thing
like you would any w*r.

And in w*r, you damn the
torpedoes, charge full steam ahead,

and take no prisoners.

- I'll drink to that.

- Yeah, well, we're
surrounded on three sides,

and there's only one
way out, Colonel Custer.

- Oh, look, look, that's
the wrong attitude.

We can't stop now.

Look how far we've come in
just the last couple of weeks.

I mean, we've just taken
in five new members.

Now, if we just keep that up-

- And we'll have $50,000
in new membership fees

in just four and a half months.

- Oh, well,

are you sure?
- Yep.

- Nail the lid shut.

- Yeah, the fat lady has sung again.

- But we don't know what
it is that she sang.

- Aren't you boys overlooking the obvious?

- Yeah, yeah, we're just
overlooking the obvious.

Which is?

- Elementary, my dear boys.

Give the customer what he wants,

and he will beat a path to your door.

- Well, they don't want what we have.

Well, what can we do?

Anyways, it's the
nineties, not the forties.

I say take the money and run.

- Well, what do men want, pray tell?

- (groans) Sex for Christ's sake, sex!

Men want sex.

They always have and,
hopefully, always will.

- I get it?

We get 'em laid if they join the club.

- See, you're not as far
gone as I thought you were.

- Yeah, it's kind of like an
incentive program, I guess.

- Are you proposing that we procure sex

as an inducement to join the club?

(giggling)

Never!

- (sighs) When are you men gonna learn?

Men pay for sex one way or another anyway.

Whether it's dinner and the movies

or a home and half your
salary, payment is made.

So what is wrong with giving the customer

what he wants when he wants
it and at a fair price?

- Hell, I would've paid double that money

for those two chicks I had last night.

- Did you pay for sex?

I don't believe this!

- You know, for a smart
guy, you don't know much.

I mean, how the hell else
you're gonna get 'em to put out?

- Lou's right.
- That's right.

- Gentlemen, I'd say we have a plan.

All those in favor, say aye.

- [Patrons] Aye!

- Motioned.
(cheering)

(upbeat music)

- What's that?

- It's a party favor.

- Huh?

I get it.

I think I get it.

Well, well, ladies,
how are you doing here?

Everything all right?

- Fine, thank you.

- Well, they look, you look
great, fine, wonderful.

I'll just go over here.

- Great.

- Well, the die is cast, I guess.

- I guess.

Let's rock and roll.

(upbeat music)

♪ Hey, everybody ♪

♪ Welcome to the party, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, everybody ♪

♪ Welcome to Flanagan's ♪

(chattering and cheering)

♪ Everybody, come on in ♪

♪ Plan on having a good time ♪

♪ It's a party night, we
got everything right ♪

♪ So don't be shy, just come on in ♪

♪ Hey, everybody ♪

♪ Welcome to the party, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, everybody ♪

♪ Welcome to Flanagan's ♪

(chattering and cheering)

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Come right through that door now, baby ♪

♪ And show me what you've got ♪

♪ 'Cause now, the fun
starts (indistinct) ♪

♪ And now, you know what
you've found on this spot ♪

♪ Oh, what you doing to me ♪

(indistinct singing)

♪ Shake it loose, baby,
now show your stuff, hey ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Hey, everybody ♪

♪ Welcome to the party, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, everybody ♪

♪ Show me now, show me now, baby ♪

♪ Welcome to Flanagan's ♪
♪ Come on to Flanagan's ♪

♪ Oh ♪

(chattering and shouting)

- I can't fit my dentist's
office in that building.

It's too small.

- I thought it was perfect.

Let me show you something else.

- Listen, we've been
looking at property all day,

and I'm afraid you just don't have

what my company is looking for.

- Ralph, baby, you're not
giving up on me now, are you?

Come on, don't be a quitter.

I got plenty more properties, plenty!

- Like what?

- Like what, like what?

Let me think here.

Hold it, I do have another property,

and it'll be vacant soon.

Oh, yeah, this'll be perfect.

You're gonna love it, Ralph, come on!

- Okay, one last shot,

but then I have to get home,

or Myrna will have my hide.

- It's business.

She'll understand, Ralph, come on.

(upbeat music)
(cheering)

♪ We're making our plans to be ♪

♪ The party for eternity ♪

(laughing)

♪ We're giving everything we got ♪

♪ We're puttin' everything on the spot ♪

♪ Find it hard to settle down ♪

♪ Just look around ♪

♪ Trying not to lose control ♪

♪ Gotta make it rock and roll ♪

♪ We'll fix it all up to try ♪

♪ And party right on into the night ♪

- [Frank] Pardon me.

- Hey!
- Excuse me.

- What the hell is going on here?

- Who are these guys?

- Some silly club that's supposed

to be out of business by now.

Come on, let's go.

- Excuse me, gentlemen.

- Well, since we're here,

it's not gonna hurt to
check out the party,

uh, the property is it?

- I like your attitude, Ralph.

Come on, lemme show you
around a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, we can put your
waiting area right over here.

- Waiting area.

- And maybe over here, you can
have your examination area.

What do you think?

- [Ralph] Examination.

- Examination?

I'm ready for an examination.

- Well, how 'bout that?

- Well, lemme show you around some more.

Maybe we can put your
computers over, let me.

We'll put your computers over here.

(laughing)

- [Johnny] Ladies.

- Hello.

- Is everybody having a
good time (indistinct)?

- Yes.
- Wonderful.

- Great, very good.

- Oh (drowned out by music).

- Lucky.

(laughs)

♪ Ready to roll ♪

♪ Just about to lose control ♪

(excited squealing)

♪ We gave it all we had to give ♪

♪ Livin' like we wanna live ♪

♪ Only way to get around,
just boogie down ♪

♪ Music makes you wanna groove ♪

♪ Put you in the party mood ♪

♪ Livin' on highs and lows ♪

- Frankie!

- Ralph!

- Here, loosen up.

Have a little drink.

- All right.

(sighs)

Thanks, I needed that.

So how do you like the building?

- I really like it.

- Don't wander off.

I gotta make a call.

I thought you took care of this.

- Where are you?

What's all that noise?

- I'm at the Bull Moose Club.

You better get down here fast.

- Why?

What's going on?

Frank?

Frank?

Moron.

(phone clacks)

(sighs)

(buttons beeping)

Smith, it's me.

Look, something's going on
at that damn Bull Moose Club.

Meet me there in 10 minutes.

I don't care if you're
having a bad hair day.

I said meet me there in 10 minutes, b*tch.

(phone clacks)
(upbeat music)

(groans)

- Oh my god, it's worse than I thought!

Look, you go that way and see
what evidence you can find.

- What are we looking for anyway?

- You know that sexy,
I mean, sexist stuff.

- Well, there's plenty
of that around here.

No problem.

- Oh my god.

(ba*ls clacking)

- So baby, what's a nice girl like you

doing in a place like-

- Frank, it's me, Helen.

- Helen?

- What's gotten into you?

- Helen, you don't look like you, Helen.

- I'm undercover, you idiot.

- (groans) Sorry, must be this party.

It's getting to me.

What are we gonna do about this mess?

- Look, we've got 'em
with their pants down.

The cops'll be here any minute.

- You look great.

- Frank, get a grip.

- Okay, okay, I guess I'm ready.

What do I have to do?

It's $200 cash or charge.

- [Waitress] He's ready.

- Yeah, put it on that.

- Come on, I won't let you down.

We'll have a good time.

No, green.

You wanna go green?

Let's go green.

- Green it is.
(drowned out)

- Y'all have a good time.

(slow saxophone music)

- [Blonde Waitress] Hi, what's your name?

- [Ralph] Ralph.

- Are you having fun, Ralphie?

- Yeah!

Hey, how come they're throwing the party?

- We're trying to save
the bar from foreclosure.

- Is there gonna be a raffle?

- No, we're gonna save
the bar by (indistinct).

- Whoa (laughs).

- Come on.

- We'll show you.

- Myrna will have my hide.

- Oh!

Sorry.

- I say, madam, you're one
incredible looking lady.

- Really?

But I thought I was having a bad hair now.

- Au contraire, madam.

Your hair invokes visions
of unbridled passion

and sensuality.

- Sensual, me?

- I say, could I perchance
procure you a drink?

- You wanna buy me a drink?

- (laughs) But of course
(speaking in foreign language).

- So how we doing?

- Oh, great.

We got over 10,000 here.

15,000 in new memberships.

Flanagan would be proud.

(lighter clicking)

- Making a hill, pal.

(slaps)

(upbeat music)

(cheering)

(gasping)

(light-hearted music)

- Oh, wow.

Doesn't she do that well?

- Yeah.

(laughing)

- Whoo!

(squealing)

Bettie, I think you k*lled him.

- Oh, no, his heart's still beating.

- Oh, geez, thank goodness.

(snoring)

(laughing)

He just passed out from
a terminal hard-on.

(laughing)
I've seen this

lots of times before.
- (groans) You always do this

to the guys.

(laughs)

- He'll wake up in a little bit.

(sighs) Okay.

- See ya, Ralphie.

(upbeat music)
(chattering)

(laughing)

(liquid sloshing)

(moans)

(water trickling)

- Oh, wow.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi.

- What's up?

- Just taking a break here.

- Yeah, just gotta rest up from the party.

- Oh, come on, guys, it's a party!

- Whoa!
- Let's party.

- Boy, whoo!

They sure know how to
heat this place up, huh?

- Yeah.

(upbeat music)
(chattering)

(cheering)

(water bubbling)

(glass clinks)

(water bubbling)

- Well, Johnny, how are we doing?

The bottom line, did we make it?

- We got it!

(slaps)
- Johnny!

Oh, that's great.

Excuse me, I've got an
announcement to make.

(upbeat music)
(chattering)

Let me have your attention.

Please, please, please, let me have your.

(shouting)

Let me have your attention please.

I have an announcement to make.

(drum rolling)
Ladies and gentlemen,

I am happy to report that
we have taken the hill!

We have our $50,000!

(cheering)

The ex men are dead.

The Bull Moose lives.

Drinks are on the house!

(cheering)

(upbeat music)

(laughing)

- Night now, and do come again.

- (laughs) You bet.

I had a great time (laughing).

- [Dave] Hey, Johnny.

- Hey, Dave.

Hey, take over for me, would ya?

I'm gonna go outside and have a cigarette.

- Sure thing.

- Hey.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

- Nothing.

- I like the way you do nothing.

(laughs)

I've gotta go for a walk.

You wanna go with me?

- Sure.

I mean, no, I can't.

Some other time?

- Yeah, sure, some other time.

- [Cameraman] Hey, Dave, I got
the best babe in the house.

- See that, oh, boy.

And for only $200,
she's all yours tonight.

- I'm in!

- There you go.

- I'm gonna rock your socks off.

- Ooh, I look forward to that, yeah.

- Have fun.

- Mn-hm.
- Lucky fella (laughs).

(antenna clicks)

(button beeps)

- Hi, it's me.

Come now!

We've got 'em with their pants down.

(chuckles)

(ominous suspenseful music)

(laughing)

- You guys again.

What do you want?

- Aw, you had your warning, Johnnyboy.

Now, you pay the price.

- Should I rough him up now, Stan?

- Where's your manners, Kimo?

First we get the money.

Then, we rough him back up.

- All right, all right, you
made your point, all right?

You want money?

I got money.

(chiming)
Here, here's some money.

Here.

Here.

- A day late and a
dollar short, Johnnyboy.

Kimo, start roughing.

(chuckles)

(cracks)
(groans)

(laughing)

(whacking)
(groaning)

(sirens blaring)

- What's that?

- Jesus, it's the cops!

(rustles)

You lucked out, JohnnyBoy,

but we'll be back.

Let's go!
(grunts)

(upbeat music)
(cheering)

(disgruntled shouting)

- [Cop] You have a right to remain silent.

You have a right to an attorney.

- I already have an attorney.

Danny, Danny!

- [Dave] All right
(drowned out by shouting).

- Watch (drowned out)!

- [Dave] I didn't do anything!

- [Cop] That's what
neanderthals get for exploiting

the women of this town.

- We didn't exploit 'em.

We paid 'em!

- Yeah, right.

(whacks)
- Oh!

- Come on, turn around!
- Oh, my head!

(shouting)

- [Cop] Let's keep moving!

- [Cop] Come on, buddy,
we're going downtown!

- [Cop] Come on!

What are you, a dead moose?

Come on, let's move (indistinct)!

(melancholic music)

- Damn it!

(ominous music)

(gasps)

- You been holding out on us, Johnnyboy.

- Don't you know cigars
(coughing)

are bad for your health?

- Yeah, sure (coughs).

Mr. De Angelo don't like it
when you boys hold out on us.

- This place is great!

(screams)

(drowned out)

Oh!

Help me, you idiot!

- What about Johnny?

- sh**t him!

- Eh?

(chiming)

(indistinct)

- Oh, my boss is gonna fire me,

and my wife's gonna k*ll me.

I'm dead.

- Yeah, grown men acting like adolescents.

I told you this would happen.

Nobody listens to me.

- Don't worry, guys.

I'm gonna get you outta here.

- [Dave] Well, thanks, Warren.

You really screwed us this time.

- Look, gentlemen, here's the deal.

I can charge you all with pandering,

running a house of
prostitution, sexual harassment,

indecent exposure, lewd
and immoral conduct,

and operating without a dance license.

Add it all up and you're
looking at about 20 years.

- Oh my god.
(drowning each other out)

- Or you can walk right now.

(keys jingling)

Well, it seems Flanagan still
has friends in high places.

Look, you quit the Bull
Moose Club never to return

and you walk with a ticket

for misdemeanor loud
and obnoxious behavior.

- Hell, no, we can't quit!

Can we?

- It wouldn't be right.

- (indistinct) I'm not
gonna blame you, go on.

- Hey, I got a wife and kids at home.

I can't go down for this.

You guys understand, right?

- Yeah (indistinct).

- Get outta here.

- You got some stuff (indistinct)?

- Name?

- Warren Gray.

- Your hearing's tomorrow
afternoon, one o'clock.

- Who bailed me out?

- Broad outside there.

Kali, I knew you!

Oh, Judith.

Well, how nice to see you.

What are you doing here?

- Someone had to bail you out.

I'm sorry all your little
Bullwinkle friends deserted you.

- They didn't desert me.

They just-
- Of course they deserted you.

What else are rats going
to do on a sinking ship?

Look, you've had your fun

with your little Bullwinkle friends,

but they're all gone now,

and it's time for you to
come home and grow up.

- And what if I don't wanna come home?

- (laughs) Where else will you go?

Come on.

(sensual saxophone music)

(bed creaking)

(moaning)

No.

(panting)

What are doing?

Let me do it.

Let me do it.

(panting)

(moaning)

What?

What are you doing?

Don't stop, come on, Warren!

(moaning)

- I can't.

I can't, that's it.

(sighs)

- You haven't changed.

You came too damn early.

(melancholic music)

- Damn it, Johnny!

(thuds)

(moaning)

(clatters)

- Danny, Danny!
(indistinct singing)

Danny, wake up!

It's Warren.

- Come on, we've got a case to win!

- A case?

Well, I'll settle for a six-pack.

- No, I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about a law case!

- Ooh, lord, love me.

I haven't won one of
those in a whole year.

- Well, it's time you started.

(shouts)
Come on!

- Oh, Warren, I thought they
sent you to Devil's Island.

- No, no, Danny, come on.
- You're here.

Let me buy you a drink.

We'll drink together (indistinct).

- Jesus H. Christ.

What do I have to do to get
your butts outta my building?

- Listen, this is still our building,

and if you don't get your
outta here right now,

I'm gonna kick it out.

- Fair warning.

You have 48 hours to clear out,

or I'm gonna have the cops kick you out.

And clean this up a
little bit too, will ya?

- You're gonna get a
little kicking up yourself

when you're trying to clean it that way.

I couldn't believe-
- Come on, he's not worth it.

- I couldn't (indistinct).

- [Judge] I'll hear the opening statements

from the prosecution.

- You see before you a man
who not only broke the law

and exploited the good
women of our community,

but he did so in a cavalier,
sexist, and unrepentant manner.

I will prove that the
defendant, Warren Gray.

(slaps)

(thuds)

- Warren Gray

is an innocent man.

- Prosecution can call your first witness.

- Tell us in your own words what happened

at the Bull Moose Club
the night of March 1st.

- It was disgusting.

You can imagine my shock when I brought

my client by to see the property

and walked right into the
middle of a booming brothel.

(gasping)

- I suppose that after witnessing
this horrible situation,

you and your client left right away.

- No, we stayed but only
to safeguard my investment.

- There was women disrobing
and being exploited for money.

Several men even put their
unsolicited hands on my body.

I've never been so
humiliated in all my life.

- Can you tell us what you
were doing in this photo,

which was taken, of course,
at the party in question?

- Yes, I'm dancing.

(hums triumphantly)

- And what is the object
that you're waving

so furiously over your head, hm?

- It's my blouse.

It had long sleeves.

I was getting hot.

I was being exploited, okay?

- But weren't you being exploited for sex?

- They didn't exploit us.

They paid us.

- So in your professional opinion,

did the defendant sexually harass women

at his Bull Moose Club?

- Without question.

(dramatic music)

- We'll recess until tomorrow morning.

I'll hear final arguments then.

(chiming)

- [Warren] You were great today.

You were just great, Danny.

- Thanks, I just don't know
how much longer I can last, eh?

- What do you mean?

- Danny, look at me, look at me, look.

I want you to take a long, hot bath,

climb into bed, and get some sleep.

(ominous music)

- You know what to do.

Nail that b*stard.

- My pleasure.

(door clicking)

(knocking)

Hi.

- Hello.

- Your friend sent me over
to give you a massage.

- (sighs) I love you, Warren.

I was just running a bath.

Why don't you come on
in and I'll shut it off?

(sensual music)

- Good morning to you, laddie.

- Well, well, well.

Top of the morning to you,

and what in the world is
this you've brought me?

- Some orange juice.

- Oh.

- Drink it all up.

It's good for you.

- Doesn't taste right without the vodka.

- Drink it all up.

- Well, if you say so.

- I say so.

Mn, that's a good boy.

(knocks)

- All right, Danny (laughs).

Danny, Danny.

Wake up, laddie!

We got a court date.

We've got a club to get back.

- That's right!

That's right, full speed ahead!

We'll send the cavalry in
first and (indistinct singing).

- Danny?

Danny, Danny!

Danny, ya promised not another drink!

- I didn't have another drink!

Or (sighs).

- And I suppose this is just orange juice.

- I suppose it is.

(gentle music)

- Oh, Danny.

Danny, it's the oldest trick in the book.

Sweet dreams, Danny.

- [Judge] Is the defense ready?

- Your honor, the defense
requests a recess.

- We're back, Warren!

- (indistinct) Buddy.

- Take the hill, Warren.

- Warren, the results are here.

- Come in and sit quietly,

or I'll throw the lot of you out.

Is the defense ready or not?

- Yeah, I guess so.

- I'll take that as a yes.

I'll hear the prosecution's
closing statement.

- Your honor, I have shown
beyond a reasonable doubt

that Mr. Gray did indeed
operate a house of prostitution.

Women were bought and paid
for like so many chattel.

He flaunted our community's
standards of decency

with blatant sexual harassment
of almost every woman

who crossed into his
sexist, chauvinistic domain.

Chauvinism is akin to racism.

And by this very nature of activity,

he has degraded women in general

and of this community
into subservient position

that the people will
not and cannot tolerate.

(excited chattering)
I demand for the defendant

to stand accused on all accounts.

- I don't wanna go to jail.

Sometimes,

I mean,
(drums pounding)

a man does what a man has to do.

We come from a noble heritage

where men have gone out into
the world seeking its truths,

bringing about resolutions,
rendering decisions,

whether it be in battle
to affect social change

or to win the hand of
(drowned out by music).

- Hi, judge.

- Men have always paid for
sex in one way or another.

And today, if a woman is willing to part

with that special gift
for dinner and a movie,

or a home with children,

or with cash on the hoof, then
I say make your best deal.

Give the customer what he wants,

and sleep in the bed you make.

Just as it's part of man's
nature to conquer and give,

it's part of women's nature to receive

in whatever form it may come.

That's the tao.

That's the ancient law of yin and yang,

an unchanging, immutable
truth that no court

in this land can legislate away.

I say it's okay to be a woman,

and I say it's okay to be a man

and that the two are
separate and distinct beings.

And thank God for that distinction!

(speaking in foreign language)

Yes!

(applauding and cheering)

(gavel banging)

- I've heard enough.

I'm ready with my judgment.

- Hi, judge.

- Oh, what the hell?

Case dismissed!

(cheering)
(upbeat music)

(excited shouting)

- Remember to be out of my
building by midnight tonight.

- You may have won the battle, throwbacks,

but you lost the w*r.

And I'll make damn sure you are out

on the streets by 12:00 sharp.

- Come on, boys, we got this.

Let's go!
(drowned out)

- Well, well, what do you know?

The mountain comes to Mohammed.

- Yeah, I was in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd stop by
and check on your hand.

- Don't worry about my hand, Johnnyboy.

I still got two hands
here to get even with you.

- Can I plug him now, Stan?

- I don't have time to play with you boys.

I came to get my money.

- So what can I do for you, Mr. Cruz?

- Your boys took some
money that wasn't theirs.

I'd like to get it back.

- And I'd like to let
him have it (laughs).

- You're a little mixed
up I'm afraid, Mr. Cruz.

You see, what my boys took
was just what you owed me

on your little gambling debt
plus the usual late fees.

- It wasn't my money they took,

but I don't wanna argue with you.

I just want another game
with you to square things.

- What are you gonna use
to play with, Tiddlywinks?

- No, I thought since
my debt was paid off,

I could get a little more credit from you.

- No money, no game.

- I'll back his action.

- Kali.

- My, my, what's a beautiful girl like you

doing with a loser like Johnny here?

- It's just a little missionary work.

We all do what we can.

You understand.

(ethereal music)

- This should cover it.

Well, who am I to stand in the
way of a woman on a mission?

(light-hearted music)

- This one's gonna cost you 10Gs

to stay in the game, Johnnyboy.

(chips clattering)

- No problem, I got you covered on that.

- Read 'em and weep, Johnnyboy.

(laughing)
- Hold it!

Straight beats three of a kind in my book.

- Huh?

Hey, what do you think you're doing there?

- Well, you know how time flies

when you're having a good time,

but we really do have to go.

- Yeah.

People to see, places to go.

- Listen to them, Warren.

You're all losers!

Now, get the hell out my building.

- We stay until midnight.

(suspenseful music)

(drowned out by music)

- Ten, nine, eight, seven-

- Hey, we got it!
(shouting)

(chiming)
(thuds)

(excited chattering and cheering)

- Now, for the last time, take your money

and get the hell outta
here before I kick you out.

(slaps)

It's over, man, it's finally over.

- Not so fast.

Why is everybody always in
such a hurry these days?

You know, you never told me

you were a member of
Flanagan's club, Johnnyboy.

- Yeah, gee, I guess
it just never came up.

- You mean, he never
told you about the times

that we used to get drunk
with Hemingway in Madrid?

- You're the Marco De Angelo,

the one Flanagan always
talked about fighting

the fascists in Spain with?

- Well, you could call it
a folly of youth, you know?

Fighting fascists by day,
laying wh*res at night,

discussing life and-

- [Johnny And Marco]
Getting drunk in between.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Hey.

I can see you've heard
of some of our stories.

- (laughs) Yeah, just a few times.

- You know, after the w*r,

Flanagan went his way and I went mine.

He became a real man.

I became a rich man.

He was my best friend.

Hell, he was probably my only friend.

I loved that man.

Helen, what are you and
McClurry doing here?

I thought I told you to keep
out of the Bull Moose club.

- Nobody told me anything,

except McClurry said
that someone from high up

was trying to protect the club.

McClurry, why didn't you
tell me it was Mr. De Angelo?

- I didn't think it was that important.

- I'll show you how important I am

when I have your badge, McClurry.

Get him the hell outta here!

His type don't belong
in these hallowed halls.

- Yes sir, Mr. De Angelo.

Sorry for the little mix up.

- Rally up to the bar, boys.
(upbeat saxophone music)

The drinks are on me.

- All right!

- Ladies and gentlemen,
here's to the Bull Moose Club

and (drowned out by music) once again.

(cheering)

- (drowned out) To real men.

(cheering)

♪ Everybody's singin' ♪

♪ Havin' a good time ♪

♪ It's a party night now, baby ♪

♪ We got everything right ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Everybody's feeling fine ♪

♪ Having a good time ♪

♪ Come on, baby, shake it down ♪

♪ Come on, it's party time, oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Everybody (indistinct) ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Do it, do it, do it, do it ♪

- You wanna sit here a while

or you wanna go into the club?

- I really think I should be going.

- Maybe you think too much.

♪ A man that I need ♪

I think you're right

♪ Completely from my toes ♪

♪ All the way up to my nose ♪

♪ Could it be you ♪

♪ For if you were my man ♪

(panting)

♪ I would tell you, you cannot ever go ♪

(moaning)

♪ How could I ever know ♪

- Who are you?

♪ Could it be you ♪

(laughs)

(drowned out by music)

I think I love you.

♪ Can't you see ♪

♪ Baby, (indistinct) me ♪

♪ Let me give you my love ♪

♪ Oh, I know I can teach you ♪

(moaning)

- [Helen] Yes!

(laughing)

♪ I really can ♪

♪ Could you be the man of my dreams ♪

♪ So thoughtful yet
sweet and he's so true ♪

♪ Is it you ♪

♪ What's a girl to do ♪

♪ Would you tell me, oh ♪

♪ Could it be you, oh ♪

♪ Could it be you, oh ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ I told her I said, baby,
we gotta find a place ♪

♪ Where we can have a
little time to ourselves ♪

♪ A little space where
a man can be a man ♪

♪ And not have to worry
about nobody else ♪

♪ We wanna walk that
walk, talk that talk ♪

♪ Drink us a little
bit or drink us a lot ♪

♪ Flanagan has the place ♪

♪ Oh, what a place ♪

♪ Flanagan has the piece ♪

♪ For the (indistinct) real man ♪

♪ Oh, real man ♪

♪ Oh, real man ♪

♪ A real man ♪

♪ A real man ♪

♪ A real man ♪

♪ A real man ♪