02x05 - Theo and the Older Woman

[bunniefuu]

Daddy, Suzanne's Coming Today!

The Girl From Your Class.

You're In Your Pajamas.

You Said You Wanted
To Observe Everyday Activities.

You're Wearing This?

Today's Saturday.

You're Lucky
I Have On Anything.

Daddy, Please?

I'll Put On
Something Presentable.

Hiya.

By-Ya.

You Can't Go!

Why Not?

My School Project.

On Saturdays,
I Don't Have To Think.

Now, That Is Normal!

We're Doing A Report

On The Lifestyles
Of A Large Family.

Say You Have No Brother!

Daddy...

I'll Say

I Have No Son.

Come On!

Thanks, Dad.

Son-

This Is Very Important
To Your Sister.

Like The Time I
Helped You With History.

Okay-

I'll Stay!

That's Her!

Go Get
Dressed!

Only For An Hour.

I May Need You Longer!

I'm Not Staying Long!

Hi, Denise.

Hey, Suzanne.

My Brother, Theo.

Hello, Theo.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Theo.

Why Don't We Go
Meet My Mom?

Let Me Know

If I Can Help.

I'll Be Here All Day.

) It's Been Minutes.

I Know.

They're Not
Doing Anything!

We Can't Write A
Paper About Nothing.

Ask Them Some
Questions.

Good Idea.

Hey, Rudy,
How You Doing?

Fine.

What's It Like Being
In A Big Family?

There's Never Enough Cereal.

I See.

Know Something?

What?

Nobody Lets Me Talk.

Why Not?

Every Time I Try

They Say I'm Too Small.

Could You Write That
I Want My Own Room?

Don't Use This
For Personal Gain.

Okay, Just Say I
Want My Own Phone.

Put Down That Vanessa
Hogs The Bathroom.

I Do Not!

Do Too!

Do Not!

Do Too!

This Is Great
Stuff, Denise.

You Don't Live With It.

Hey, Guys.

Thought You
Might Be Thirsty.

For You.

And Suzanne...

This Is For You.

That's Sweet Of You.

Where's Ours?

Get Your Own.

There's Never
Enough Soda, Either.

When Is It My Turn
To Be Observed?

Soon.

How Soon?

In A While, Theo.

I'm Ready Now.

In About Minutes.

No Problem.

I'll Be In My Room,
Suzanne.

Are You
All Right?

Yeah, Sure!

Yes!

How's It Going?

They Gave Us
Fascinating Stuff.

They Can Be Pretty
Fascinating At Times.

We're On Our Way

To Theo's
Room.

You Going Inside?

Yeah.

The Condition
Of Certain Rooms

Do Not Necessarily Reflect
The Views Of Management.

Theo-

It's Us.

Just A Minute.

Be Right There.

Come On!

Come In.

What Did
You Do Here?

Straightened Up A Little.

You Can Actually
See The Rug.

Yeah, It's A
Nice Room, Theo.

Why Did You
Change Your Clothes?

I Wanted To Wear
Something More Comfortable.

A Tie?

Suzanne, Make
Yourself At Home.

I Was Just Going To Do Some Studying.

Theo, We're Here To Observe
Normal Behavior.

She's Always
Giving Me

A Hard
Time.

Can't Wait To
Read Your Report.

You're Interested
In Sociology?

Yeah, Sure!

Since When?

Sociology Is

The Study
Of Human Behavior.

Since We're All Humans,
We Should Be Interested.

Well Put!

Thank
You.

Did You Enjoy The Soda?

Yes.

Denise-

You Never Told Me
Your Brother Was Charming.

You're Right- I Didn't.

Theo, I Just Realized

You're The Only Male Child
In The House.

That's Right.

How Do You Feel?

It's Beautiful.

I Find This Stuff Interesting
Because I'm An Only Child.

What's It Like?

I'd Rather Be Here.

Large Families Do
A Lot More Sharing.

That's How I Feel-
Especially The Sharing.

Some Guys Might Find It Hard

But It's Made Me
More Sensitive

To The Wants And
Needs Of Women.

Suzanne-

I Need To Talk
To My Brother

For A Minute.

Do You Mind?

No, Not At All.

What Are You Doing?!

What Are
You Doing?

What?

You Changed Your Clothes;

Cleaned Your Room.

Cologne?!

It's Left Over From Last Week.

You're Trying
To Impress Suzanne!

I Am Not!

Why Did You Say
You're Sensitive?

What's Wrong?

You're Not Sensitive.

You've Never Used The Word.

I Am Sensitive

And If You Were Sensitive,
You'd Know That!

Stop Coming On To Suzanne.

I'm Just Trying To Help!

You're Helping For
The Wrong Reasons

And I'm Telling You
It's Not Going To Work.

Suzanne Would Never
Be Interested.

Why Not?

You're A Sophomore,
She's A Senior.

Only Two Years Difference.

Physically, Not Maturity.

Those Years
Are Like Dog Years!

Suzanne Is Actually
Years More Mature Than You.

Denise, I'm Not Interested
In Suzanne.

You Swear?

Yes!

You'll Be
Your Normal Self?

Yes!

I Want To Get Back To Studying.

Ta-Dah!

Brought You A
Little Present.

Made It Myself.

You're
Too Kind.

Well, It's To Frighten
The Children Away.

Thank You.

Yes.

Well...

Here I Am, Standing Out
On The Huxtable Spread

Watching My Wife
Plough The Back Forty.

Seems Like Only Yesterday

Me And The Missus
Packed Up The Young'uns

And Put A Wagon Together
And Just Drove On Out Here.

If This Is So Lovely

How Come You're Not Helping Me?

Because...

That's Dirt.

No, To You, It's Dirt.

To Me, It's Life!

Ah...

Then Why Is It
That You Get Upset

When The Children Track "Life"
Into The House?

You're A Doctor
Who Walks Around All Day

In His Prissy
Little White Coat

Holding Your Hands Up Like This.

I Do Not Do That.

You Need To Feel
The Pleasures Of Nature.

Come Down Here.

I Don't Want
To Feel Life.

Put Your Hands
In The Life!

Put Your Hands
In The Life!

Whish Through
Your Fingers.

Now, What
Do You Feel?

Worms.

Mom, Dad-
I Need Your Help.

What's Up?

Theo Is Ruining My Project.

Oh, Dear...

How Is He Ruining
Your Project?

Trying To
Impress Suzanne.

How?

He Changed
His Clothes

Cleaned
His Room

And Now He's
Studying.

We'll Have To Get
Her To Move In!

He Might Ask Her Out.

What's The Worst
That Could Happen?

He'd Ask Her Out,
And She'd Say "Yes."

So What?

Theo Could End Up

At My Senior Prom!

What If Suzanne And I
Go To The Same College?

Then Theo's Going To
Be Hanging Around There.

This Could Be The Beginning
Of Life With Theo.

Denise?

Yeah, Dad.

Better You Than Us.

Denise!

I'm Coming.

Thanks, Dad.

And What Are
You Laughing At?

The Boy Is Years Old.

And At Years Old,
A Boy Will Hit On A Snake!

But The Boy Does
Have Good Taste.

Better Than You Did.

I Beg Your Pardon?

I Saved You.

You Saved Me?

Before I Came Along,
You Were Chasing

Every Low-Life Woman
Of Uncertain Reputation

In The
Neighborhood!

Yes,
You Were!

I Was Not.

You Were Sad, Pitiful,
Desperate And Tired!

Why Do
You Think

They Called You
"Overheated Huxtable"?

I Remember

The Woman You Were Chasing.

There You Were-

Little Bright-Eyed,
Knobby-Kneed Boy Of -

Chasing A Woman
Years Old

Who Was Still
In The Ninth Grade!

I Saved You,
You Sad Thing!

I Still Wonder
About Her Sometimes.

And What Do
You Wonder?

I Wonder If She's Still
In The Ninth Grade.

Her Name Is Suzanne.

I'm Telling You

You've Never Seen
Anything Like This Girl.

We're Talking Fine-Tuned Body.

And Her Eyes- Ooh!

You Guys Will Fall Out
When You See Her.

You Know George's Girlfriend?

She Makes Her Look Like George.

I'm Thinking About Asking Her
To Freddy's Party.

When I Walk In,
Heads Will Turn.

If You're Nice To Me,
I Might Let You Meet Her.

What Activities
Do You Enjoy

Without The
Children?

All Of Them.

Daddy!

It's True.

Dr. Huxtable
Means

You Enjoy Those Moments
Alone As A Couple.

That's Not
What I Mean.

Daddy, Would You
Cooperate, Please?

Oh, Suzanne!

Oh!

I Didn't Know
You Were Still Here.

Why Is Your Shirt Open?

I'm Hot.

That's What We Heard.

Dad, I Need To
Ask You Something.

Go Ahead.

Did You Borrow My Razor?

I Never Borrow Your Razor-

Your Beard Is Too Hard
On The Blade.

I'll Find It Somewhere.

I Don't Need It
Till Later Anyway.

Suzanne, Just Do
What You're Doing.

One More Thing-

You Don't Have To Answer
If You Don't Want To.

Go Ahead.

Do You Have Arrangements

For Your Children

In Case Of Your
Untimely Passing?

We're Taking
Them With Us.

Why Don't You
Stop This?

We Both Have
Insurance Policies.

Mom, Dad,
I Want You To Know-

If Anything Happens,
Count On Me

To Give The Family The
Emotional Support It Needs.

I'm Glad
I'll Be Dead.

What A Wonderful
Thing To Say.

It Wasn't That Wonderful.

Not Many Guys Have His
Sense Of Responsibility

At His Age.

His Age Is .

I'll Be
In Seven Months.

Just Around
The Corner.

I'll Get It.

Suzanne, I'll Be
Right Back.

Hi.

Denise, Somebody
For You.

No- Is
Suzanne Here?

Yeah, Mark, Hi.

This Your
Brother?

No, My Boyfriend.

I Want To Introduce You
To Everyone.

Denise, Do
You Know Mark?

You're On The
Wrestling Team?

Yeah.

Nice To
Meet You.

Dr. And Mrs.
Huxtable-

My Boyfriend,
Mark Roberts.

How Are Nice To
You? Meet You.

Hi.
Hello.

And Denise's
Brother, Theo.

How's It
Going?

How You Doing?

All Right.

You And Mark Are Interested
In The Same Thing.

We Are? What?

Sociology.

Sociology?

Remember, Earlier?

Oh, Yeah-
Sociology Is

The Study Of Human Behavior.

Mark Will Major In It
At Central State.

Oh!

In Wilberforce, Ohio?

Good School.

I Got A
Scholarship.

If I Could Put Guys
In A Headlock

I'd Get A Scholarship, Too.

It's Not
For Wrestling.

It's An Academic
Scholarship.

Oh.

Why Don't You Teach Him
How To Shave?

Mark, Do
You Want

Anything
To Drink?

No, Thanks.

I Have Things To Do
In The Backyard.

Suzanne, Nice Meeting You.

You, Too, Theo.

Mark, See You.

Okay, Theo.

Theo Is Ruining
My Garden.

That Basketball
Landed Right In It.

Dear, It Didn't Land In The Plants.

It Landed
In The "Life."

He's Not Even
Playing Basketball.

He's Just Banging It
Against That Backboard.

Don't Worry
About It.

This Is
What Boys Do

When They Have
Problems With Women.

They Burn Energy Off.

All Right.

But If He Does
Any Damage

I'm The Next Woman
He'll Have A Problem With.

Oh! Oh, Cliff!

My Radishes!

Come Here,
Dear.

Don't, Please!

Don't Worry
About The Radishes.

We Weren't Going
To Eat Them Anyway.

Why Not?

The Radishes Look Pitiful.

I Pulled One Up.

It Didn't Have Any Color.

You Pulled One
Of My Radishes?

I Was Doing
Quality Inspection, Dear.

I Have Worked On This Garden
For Six Months

And I Won't Let
My Labor Be Destroyed.

I'm Talking To Him.

You Can't Go Out There
In This Condition.

This Calls
For Cool Minds.

This Is
Our Only Son.

Just Let Me
Talk To Him.

What Will
You Say?

I'll Tell Him

To Stop k*lling
His Mother's Radishes.

Thank You.

And Her Little Sad Corn.

Hey- Hey!

Man, That's Your
Mother's Garden!

Come Out
Of There.

Oh, You Stepped
On That.

We Have To Eat
That Stuff.

Why Don't You Take
A Little Break?

Don't Feel Like It.

Let's Have Lunch Together, Okay?

Not Hungry.

No, I'm Talking About
Dad Firing Up The Barbecue

And Making Your Favorite-

Bacon Burger Dog!

Huh?

No, Thanks.

What's The Matter
With You?

Usually, I Say
"Bacon Burger Dog"

And Your Tongue
Comes Out

And You Lick
Your Face.

Come On!

I'm Not
In The Mood.

What Do You Mean?

You Know What
Suzanne Did To Me.

What Did Suzanne
Do To You?

She Came
Over Here.

She Hung Out
In My Room.

She Acted Like
She Liked Me.

You Know
What's Worse?

Denise...

Never Found Out If
The Girl Had A Boyfriend.

I See.

They Made Me A Fool.

Theo-

I Think You've Lost Your Mind.

The Girl
Came Over Here

To Help Your Sister
With A Report.

She Didn't
Come Here

To Become
Your Girlfriend.

You Put Cologne On

Cleaned Up Your Room-

"Hi, My Name Is Theodore... "

You Did That.

She Has A Boyfriend.

Now You're Pounding The
Basketball Against The Wall

k*lling My Wife's Garden.

If You Love Her

And Want To Get Rid Of The Guy

Do Like The Old Days-

Say, "I Love That Woman

And I Challenge You To A Duel."

No, I'm
Serious!

Whoever Is Alive At The End

Can Call Her Up Toll-Free

And Say, "I'm Your Man."

I Just Need To Play
For A Couple Hours.

No, I Want You
To Take That Energy

And Go To
The Library.

Are You Serious?

Go To The Library

And Pour That Energy
Into The Books.

I Have
Books Here.

That's Not
The Same Thing.

You Need To Sit
In A Hard Wooden Chair.

You Need To Hear
The Silence Of The Pages

Flipping.

You Need A Hint

Of The Mildew.

Are You Tricking Me
Into Doing My Homework?

No, I'm Just
Trying To Help You

Because I Used To Be
In That Position.

Now Go Upstairs

And Get Those Overdue Books

And Go To The Library.

Huxtable Residence.

No, Theo Went To The Library.

Yes, I Am Positive.

The Place With The Books.

Well, Try Again Later.

Hey, Mom-

I've Been
Reading The Notes

For Our Report.

How Does Our Family Look?

I'm Not Using Our Real Names.

I Can Understand That.

This Is
The Kitchen.

This Is
Where I Sit.

Hello, Theo.

Hi- This Is
Tory Beckwith.

Hi.

Hello.

She'd Like To Look
At Your Garden.

That Could
Be Arranged.

Aren't You Going
To Introduce Me?

This Is
My Sister.

Denise.

Do You Go To School Together?

I Met Him
At The Library.

Oh!...
Oh?...

I Was Walking
Tory Home

Telling Her
About Your Garden.

My Father Owns
A Nursery.

Mom Really Knows
Her Vegetables.

It's So Nice

When My Children Take
An Interest In What I Do.

Tory, Let's
Take A Look.

Great!

You Two Go Ahead.

I'll Make
Some Beverages.

Hey, She's
Pretty.

Thanks.

She's Lucky,
Too.

What Do You Mean?

She's With You.

Thanks, Denise.

Okay.

Theo!

Hey, Dad.

All Right.

Tell Me-

How Was The Library?

Great!

It Was?

Oh, Yeah!

Dad, You Were Right.

The Library Is The Place.

So You Really Enjoyed It?

Oh, Yeah, Definitely.

You Brought Something Back With You.

Sure Did.

Oh,
Boy-Oh-Boy!

Uh, Son?

Yeah, Dad.

There's A Girl
In The Yard

With Your Mother.

Her Name Is Tory Beckwith.

Is She A Friend
Of Your Mother's?

No.

I Met Her At The Library.

Oh, Yeah?

I Didn't Even Make
The First Move.

She Walked By
And Dropped A Book.

You Picked It Up?

I Had To-
I'm A Gentleman.

And?

I Handed It To Her.

Yeah?

We Introduced Ourselves

And Here We Are.

Is This Serious?

I Can't Speak For Her

But As Far As I'm Concerned

I'm Not In Love Yet.

We're Going To Take It Slow?...

I Will.

All Right!

Oh, Dad?

Yeah?

Could We Have A Barbecue?

I Think That
I'm Sharp Enough

That I Could Whip Up

The Best Bacon Burger Dog
I've Ever Made.

Dad, Let's Take It Slow.

We Should Start Her Off

With Just...
A Burger Dog.

A Burger Dog!

A Burger Dog!