02x13 - The Auction

[bunniefuu]

Elvin!

Hey, What Are
You Doing?

Icing My Cake.

- Your Cake?
- Yeah.

He Made It Himself
From Scratch.

You're
The Guy

Who Said, "It's A Man's Job
To Club The Antelope

And A Woman's Job To Cook It"?!

That Was
The Old Elvin.

Since We've Gotten
Back Together

Elvin's Decided His Attitudes
About Women Need Improvement.

Oh.

I Thought One Way

Of Becoming More Sensitive
And Understanding As A Man

Would Be To Experience What
It's Like Doing Woman's Work.

Oh.

" Woman's Work," Huh?

I Said Something Wrong?

This Is Not
"Woman's Work."

My Dad Cooks.

Many Men Cook.

I'm Sorry.

Elvin Just Started
Improving His Attitudes.

We Can't Expect Him
To Change Overnight.

Sandra.

Yeah, Rudy.

Promise You Won't Get Mad?

What Did You Do?

I Spilled Nail Polish...

We'll Clean It Up.

In Your Suitcase.

You Know What?

- Your Cake Looks Good.
- Thanks.

It's Chocolate
Chocolate Chip.

Hey.

Hey, Dad.

- Elvin.
- Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

What's All This?

He's Doing
"Woman's Work," Dad.

I Drove Sandra Home
From Princeton This Morning

And When I Got Here

So I'll Be
More Understanding...

And
Sensitive...

As A Man.

Why Bake A Cake?

So Mrs. Huxtable
Will Like Me.

Mrs. Huxtable Likes You.

No, She Doesn't.

She Always Gets Mad At Me.

It's Your
Attitude, Son.

I'm Trying To Change

But Between You And Me,
It's Not All My Fault.

Oh?

You Know Women.

They're Emotional.

Every Little Thing
Sets Them Off.

Then They Start Talking
Without Thinking.

This Is For Mrs. Huxtable?

Yes.

This Better Be Good Cake.

We'll Find Out At Dinner.

What Kind Is It?

Chocolate
Chocolate Chip.

Aha!

My Suggestion Is,
Elvin

That Before You
Try This Out

On Mrs. Huxtable And
The Rest Of The Family

You Should Have Someone Sample This.

Would You?

Well,
I...

You Know,
I Just...

Do You Want Me To?

Yes, Sir.
Please.

All Right.

I Just Happen
To Like

Chocolate
Chocolate Chip Cake...

I'm Glad.

And I'm An Authority
On This.

I Didn't
Know That.

Oh...

Elvin

We'll Have To Cut It Again,
I Guess.

Here It Is.
Here It Is.

We Got A Breakthrough.

I Made It Extra Dense.

It Seems To Have
Some Sort Of...

Humanness To It.

It Doesn't Want
To Give It Up.

Yeah.

There You Go.

There You Go.

We Got It Now.

Rather Heavy.

Now...

For The Coup De Grace.

That's Just Frosting.

I Think Not.

Pretty Good, Huh?

How Was It?

You Don't Want Mrs. Huxtable
To Eat That.

What Now?

I Don't Know.
You're Too Far Inland.

I'll Think Of Something.

Oh, Elvin.

Oh, Elvin.

Cliff!

Hey!

Cliff, Come Here.

You're Not Going
To Believe This.

What's The Matter?

Somebody At Work Had
This Catalog Today.

I'm Thumbing Through
This Thing At Lunch Time

And I Found This.

Ellis Wilson.

Yes. My Great-Uncle.

Ellis Wilson Is
In This Book.

This Painting Used To Hang
In My Grandmother's House.

When I Was Little,
I Spent Hours Looking At It.

Tomorrow It's Being Sold
At Auction, And I Want It.

It Says Here The Price Is
$ , To $ , , Dear.

Yes, That's The Estimated Price,
But I Really Want It.

Really?

It's An Auction.
It Could Go For Higher.

Well, Dear, I'm With You.

I'll Buy It Myself.

It's Been Out Of The Family
For Years.

I Want To Get It Back.

Sold.

Great!

I Want To See It Hanging
Over This Fireplace.

Get It At The Auction,
I'll Hang It.

Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.

Hello, Elvin. I Didn't
Know You Were Here.

Yeah, Elvin Drove Sandra Home
From Princeton.

What's With
The Apron?

I'm Learning
To Cook.

You?

Yes.

I Baked You A Cake

But I Accidentally
Dropped It On The Floor.

Oh, That's Terrible.

It's The Thought
That Counts.

That's True.

Maybe I Could Cook
Dinner For You Sometime.

No, That Isn't A Good Idea.

I Think It's
A Lovely Idea.

I Don't Think That You Think
That's A Good Idea.

You Can Cook Dinner
Tomorrow Night

After The Auction.

Auction?

Yes, An Art Auction,
And We're Buying This.

That's An Ellis Wilson.

You Know It?

Sure. I'm An Art Major.

He's One Of My Favorites.

Well, That's Mrs. Huxtable's
Great-Uncle.

You're Kidding!

That Painting Was
My Grandmother's.

Why Is It At An Auction?

My Grandmother Was Old, Sickly,
Had A Lot Of Medical Bills-

Too Proud To Ask For Help-

So She Sold It
Without Telling Anybody.

Dr. Huxtable, It's Wonderful

You're Buying This Painting
For Your Wife.

I'm Buying The Painting.

Did Dr. Huxtable
Say It Was Okay?

It's All Right, Elvin.
I Understand Your Thinking.

It's Okay If Dr. Huxtable
Buys This Painting

Because He Works
And He's A Man, Right?

Right.

Well, I Work

And I Can Buy This Painting

Not Because He Says So

But Because It Is So.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

May I Still Cook Dinner
Tomorrow Night?

No.

Elvin,
I'm Looking Forward To It.

I Don't Mean To Do These Things.
They Just Come Out.

I Understand, Son.

It's Sort Of Like Talking
And Not Thinking First.

Yeah.
I Get That From My Mom.

You Want To
Cook Tomorrow.

Yes, I Do.

Do You Know How
To Cook Anything?

Just Chocolate...

No, You Don't.

Is There Something Else
You Know How To Do?

Well... Salad.

Stay With The Salad, Boy.

Now, I'll Show You
Something Special.

We're Going
Into The Kitchen.

Okay.

Just Pay Attention To Me.

You Want To Impress Mrs. Huxtable.

Very Much.

All Right.

Now, My Boy...

You Are Going
To Learn From Me.

You're Going To Fix

Dr. Huxtable's
Secret Spaghetti Sauce.

Is It Hard?

No, Indeed.
It Comes Out Of A Jar.

Oh, It Does.

Dr. Huxtable's
Secret Spaghetti Sauce

Is Actually "Mrs. Farber's
Hot And Spicy Barbecue Sauce."

But That's Not Really Cooking.

It Is Cooking.

Although You Get The Jar

It's What You Add To The Sauce
That Makes It Work.

You Understand
What I'm Saying?

First, Make Yourself
Look Like A Cook.

Pots About This Size.

Put Water In Them.

People Think You're Cooking
When They See Steam.

Okay.

Now, You'll Put All Kinds
Of Leaves And Spices

And Herbs And Tree Stems
In All Of These Pots.

Garlic- Anything That
Gives Off An Aroma.

You Have The Lid On.

This Is Bubbling And Steaming,
Trees Brewing.

Lift This-
They Come Out.

Meanwhile,
Over To The Side...

"Mrs. Farber's Hot And Spicy."

You Understand?

Don't Let Anybody
See Your Tricks.

You're The Chef.

You'll See Them
Peeking Through Doors

And You Stand,
And You Just-

You Have Nothing In Here...

Whah!

And Do Like That.

And Keep Your Arm
Bent Like This.

And Every Once In A While

Go Down Here
And Come Back Up Again.

Never Look Like
You Can't Find Something.

They'll Say,
"He's Lost Something."

And You Got Steam Coming Out...

And Do A Lot Of This.

You Got It?

Mrs. Farber's Hot And Spicy

- Barbecue Sauce.
- ... Barbecue Sauce.

With The Little
Herbs And Bushes.

Okay, I'll Try.

But, Dr. Huxtable,
I'm Still Worried.

Even If I Make A Great Sauce

I Still Might Say Something
Stupid To Mrs. Huxtable.

When You Say Something Dumb-

Like You Usually Do...

Get Up From The Table, Son

And You Come Back Here,
You Understand?

Go Out This Door,
And Keep Going!

Hey, Dad.

Ready For
The Auction?

Yeah.
How Do I Look?

Good.

Yeah, But Do I Look Good?

Yeah, You Look Good.

Cockroach Said These Auctions
Are Really Fancy.

Everyone Drives Up In Limousines

Wearing Tuxedos And Mink Coats

And Eating Caviar.

When Did Cockroach
Go To An Auction?

He Didn't.
He Saw One In A Movie.

Oh...

You Know What Else He Said?

He Said Every Woman There
Would Be Unbelievable.

Well, Just So These
Unbelievable Women

Will Not See You Getting Out
Of The Crowded Station Wagon

We'll Let You Off
Two Blocks Away From The Place

And You Can Go Into
The Caviar Store

And Pick Up A Six-Pack.

Thanks, Dad.

You're
Welcome.

- Hey, Elvin.
- Hey, Theo.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Elvin.

All Set
For Dinner.

What's That?

Elvin Is Cooking Dinner
Tonight After The Auction.

We're Having Spaghetti
With Elvin's Secret Sauce.

Sounds
Serious.

It Is.

It Better
Be Good.

Okay... Now.

What Do You Have?

All Right.
The Leaves.

With The Stems On.

That's
Right.

Garlic?

Garlic.

The Italian
Parsley?

Got That.

Where's
"Mrs. Farber's"?

Underneath The Boxes
Of Spaghetti.

Cookin'. Cookin'.

Well, I'm Ready.

Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.

Hello,
Elvin.

You Look Lovely.

Thank You.

I'd Just Like To Say...

Elvin...

Good Luck At The Auction.

You're Not Just
Buying A Painting

You're Retrieving
A Symbol Of Your Heritage.

Most People
Take Their Pasts For Granted

But I've Always Felt

That If We Only Look Forward
Without Looking Backwards

We're Really Looking Nowhere.

Elvin, That's Lovely.

And I Want To Say...

Elvin, Elvin, Elvin...

That's Enough.

That's All I Want To Say.

Wow, Mom!
This Is Cool!

Yeah, This Is Nice.

All Right, Now Look.

Before Anybody Does Anything,
You Just Remember-

Don't Touch Anything!

You Got It.

Where's Your
Picture, Mom?

There It Is.

Oh, Look!

I Haven't Seen This

Since I Was Eight Years Old.

That's The
Painting.

Rudy, Your Great-Great-Uncle
Painted This.

I Like It.

Someday You Can
Show It To Your Children.

I Won't Let Them Touch It.

May I Look Around?

There Are Some Things
I Want To Check Out.

I Hope They're
Unbelievable.

I'll Let You Know.

Dad, Can We
Look Around, Too?

Yes, Please.

Keep An Eye On Rudy.

I Always Have To
Watch Her.

Come On.
I'll Help You.

This Is A Good Sign.

What?

We're The Only Ones
Looking At The Picture.

Fine By Me.

Maybe There Was A Crowd Of
People Before We Got Here.

No, I Think Elvin's
Absolutely Correct This Time.

I Think We Should
All Mingle Around

And Find Out If Anybody's
Talking About This Painting.

You Mean Spy?

Yeah.

I'll Tell
You What.

We'll All Go Out
And Mingle.

We'll Meet Back Here
At Hours.

All Right?

And The Code Words Will Be

"The Wet Dog Sighs
In The Dry Fire."

All Right, Dad.

We'll Meet Back Here
At Hours.

Hi.

Hi.

What Do You
Think Of It?

Nice.

You Don't Like It, Do You?

To Be Honest

It Looks Like Something
My Little Sister Would Do.

But That's Why It's Good.

It's Simple And Innocent.

You Must Know
A Lot About Art.

My Dad's A Curator
At A Museum.

I'm Darlene.

I'm Theo.

There Are A Couple Of
Other Paintings Around Here

I Don't Know Too Much About.

Maybe You Could Help Me?

Sure.

Hey, Theo.

Hi, Theo.

Who's She?

This Is Darlene.

Darlene, These Are
My Sisters.

Hi.
Hi.

She's Teaching Me Art.

Ooh, Isn't That Nice? Art.

You Like Her?

There's A Painting
We Should Check Out.

Let's Go.

Nice To Meet You.

The Pleasure
Was All Ours.

Hello.

How You Doing?

Fine.

Ellis Wilson.

Oh, Yes.
Definitely.

Oh, My Goodness.

What A Nice Painting.

By A Very
Important Artist.

Yes.

But Seven To Nine Thousand-

That's A Lot Of Money.

Not Really.

Actually, A Steal.

It Is?

Yeah. Just Look At It.

This Painting Shows
Wilson's Mastery Of Light.

The Gaunt
Forms

The Simplicity
Of Composition

Give This Particular Piece
Rhythm And Motion.

I Just Thought
It Was A Nice Painting.

Oh, No, My Friend.

It's A Lot More Than That.

This Is A Very Important
Work By A Major Artist.

Thank You.

Philip, This Would Look
Marvelous Over The Couch.

Yes, Dear.

You Know

You Can Never Tell What
These Things Will Go For.

That's True.

I Was Here
A Few Months Ago

When A Painting That
Was Estimated At $ ,

Went For $ , .

That's What I Call
Auction Fever.

Right.

That Could
Happen Tonight.

Good.

This Room Is Hot.

Yes, It Just
Might Be.

Darling?

$ , .

$ , .

The Bid's Up Front Here
On The Left At $ , .

Sold Now
For $ , .

Our Next Painting
Is Lot # -

A Landscape
By Edward Doufner.

That Would Look Nice
In My Waiting Room.

It Really Would.

What's The Estimate
On This?

The Estimate's
$ .

$ ?

I Think I Should
Try And Get It.

Think I Should?

Yes.

We'll Start The Bidding
At $ .

Who Will Say
$ For Us?

Who Will Say $ ?

$ On
The Left.

Lady's Bid At $ .

$ Against You, Sir.

How About
Seven?

$ Now.

$
I Have.

The Lady's
Bid At $ .

Will You
Say Nine?

$ In
Front.

Now
$ , .

$ , I Have
Over Here...

Hey!
Stop It.

That's My
Daddy's Picture!

I Have $ ,

And A Young Lady
Who Loves Her Daddy.

How About
$ , , Sir?

Eleven!

That's The Way.

I Have $ , .
Say Twelve.

$ , Over
Here Now.

$ , .

$ , .

$ , .

$ , .

$ , .

$ , .

$ , .

$ , .

I Have $ ,
Over Here, Then.

Twenty-One?

Sold For
$ , .

Lady's Bid
On The Left.

A $ Painting
That Went For $ , .

Yours Is Going
For $ Million.

I Don't Care, Cliff.

I Want It.

Doesn't Make Any
Difference To Me.

I Hope It Looks
Good In Jail.

Our Next Number
Is Lot # -

A Work By
Ellis Wilson.

Dear, He Hasn't Asked
For The Bid Yet.

I'd Like To Start The Bidding
At $ , .

I Have A Bid
At $ , .

Thank You.

Who Will Say $ , ?

$ , On
My Left.

Now It's
$ , .

Say Seven?

$ ,
I Have.

Now Eight.

$ ,
Over Here.

You Already Have A Painting
For Your Couch, Darling.

The Lady's
Bid At $ , .

Who Will
Say Nine?

Now At $ ,
On My Left.

Who Will Say
$ , ?

$ , At
The Back.

$ , .

Who Will Say Nine?

$ , .
The Bid's Up Front.

$ , .

On My Left Now At $ , .

Now $ , .

$ ,
At The Back.

$ , At The Back Of The Room.

Now Ten-Five.

Ten-Five
On My Left.

$ , .

Eleven?

Eleven.

$ ,
In Front.

$ , Now Against You, Sir.

At $ , .

Will You Say
$ , ?

It's $ , Here, Then-
The Lady In Front.

Sold For $ , .

All Right!

All Right!

Welcome Home,
Uncle Ellis.

And This Is The Paddle
That Brought You Home

And It's
Still Smoking.

Huxtable Residence.

Yes, He Is.
May I Ask Who's Calling?

Oh!

Theo, It's Darlene-

Your Art
Teacher.

Oooh!

I'll Take This One
Upstairs.

He's Going To
Take It Upstairs.

Whoa!
Whoa!

All Right.

I'll Take It
Down Here.

Oooh!

Hello?

Oooh!

Yeah.

I Had A Great Time, Too.

Whoo!

Would You Cut It Out?

Would You Cut It Out?

Theo, Maybe You Should
Take It Upstairs.

Darlene, I'm Going
To Take This Upstairs.

Hold On, Please.

No. You Guys
Stay Here.

Oooh!

Elvin!

I'm Impressed.

Thanks,
Mrs. Huxtable.

Smells Delicious
In Here.

Mrs. Huxtable,
Would You Like A Taste?

I'd Love A Taste.

Hmm.

Elvin, This Is Good.

I Know.

Cliff, This Is Almost
As Good As Your Secret Sauce.

I Gave Him A Few Pointers On It.

You Two Could Collaborate
And Market This.

That's A
Great Idea.

I Could Go
For That.

Of Course, As An Attorney

I Suggest You Get
Mrs. Farber's Permission.