Lend Me Your Wife (1958)

[bunniefuu]

This is our town.

So firm and safe do you rest
sheltered by your mountains.

First high and blue.

Then misty grey.

And there's Parliament.

There's the castle.

And the old Akershus -

- embraced by the fiord.

There lies Norway's greatest
wholesale layette dealer.

Kids are a sound investment.
Though not for the parents.

And through generations, children
have used Rustad's rattles, -

- sucked on Rustad's
bottles and pacifiers, -

- drooled on Rustad's bibs,
and sat on Rustad's potties.

Hats off to the founder of Rustad,
merchant Rustad, -

- and his son, wholesaler Rustad,
who was succeeded by his son, -

- sub-manager Rustad,
the father of the present owner, -

- CEO C.V. Rustad. An industrious
and ever vigilant businessman.

And his secretary, Veronika Flint.

The director's right hand and,
yes, you guessed correctly, -

- his somewhat
very private secretary.

- Oh, it's you? I was just thinking.
- I've typed the market analysis.

- Say, did you get a new perfume?
- It's "Lovely". Do you like it?

Yes, let's see now.

It reminds me sorely of ...

It's a matter of tact, Veronika.

Your wife would have survived this
had she not been eight years dead.

You know my views on marriage.
It's one of the pillars of society.

And the marriage between Mathilde
and I was like a psalm, a song ...

But you didn't mind
averse or two with me.

You know what marriage means
to a company like ours.

It means children,
and they are our livelihood.

That's why we only have
married employees.

- My words exactly.
- Yes, you've said that.

At least a thousand times.
Marriage is a prerequisite here.

- Yet the boss is a bachelor.
- I'm a widower.

- That's a pretty excuse.
- I'm telling you once again.

1 will not remarry.
Not even with you.

Restrain yourself. Concentrate.

Concentrate.

- What in heaven's name is this?
- Yoga.

- Yoga?
- An Indian teaching of restraint.

I've just read about it.
It's very interesting.

- Enter.
- Good day, here I am.

Hello, Knutsen.
How was your trip?

Fine, thank you. A record-breaking
bottle order in Kristiansand -

- but a curious lack of interest
in paper diapers in Mandal.

Miss Flint, haven't you finished
your morning gymnastics?

It's yoga.

Concentrate.

Would you be so kind as to continue
concentrating in the reception?

Sit down, Knutsen.

There's something
I'd like your opinion on.

Since our friend Hansen died,
we have been without an office head.

This is another employee, -
secretary Lund,

- an expert on
statistics and analyses.

Not a child is born
in the country of Norway -

- that isn't registered by Lund
who calculates it's needs for -

- the company's specialties,
be it diapers or pacifiers.

But now it's half past eleven.
He always has his lunch now.

Two with goat's cheese,
one with Gouda.

I've heard that they're deciding
on a head of office.

- Really?
- 1 have certain aspirations.

- Do you think you'll have a chance?
- Why not?

- What do you say?
- What do I say about what?

Who will be appointed
head of office?

- My lips are sealed.
- Makes it difficult to have lunch.

The boss will prefer a married man.
That doesn't leave too many.

Oh, you?

Now that you mention it.
He won't choose any idiot.

I take it you're talking about me.
Bon appetite.

- Did the boss mention me?
- He did, actually.

He said that Holsen, that idiot,
had taken his umbrella.

- Spit it out.
- Are you nuts? It's Swiss cheese.

- You ought to have a chance.
- Well, I do have my education.

- Yes, but you're not married.
- No. Bon appetite.

Bjern, why haven't you married?
You're such a neat and handsome man.

- Haven't you met the right one?
- No, bon appetite.

He blushed.
I'm sure he must be in love.

But Lund is not in love.
He doesn't think of such matters.

He is just busy with
his work and his career.

Holsen as head of office.
It'll be unbearable.

It's your own fault.
Rustad doesn't trust bachelors.

I've told you that you ought to ...

- That's just nonsense.
- wouldn't say that.

Imagine having a manager's salary.

Having a manager's car
and a manager's tax benefits.

But the boss has to choose
between you and Holsen.

Would the director care to see
some pictures of my kids?

- That's my wife.
- Most appealing.

- Well, the kids as well of course.
- We have a third one coming.

Attaboy! You have always proven to be
a bit of a hard worker, Holmsen.

You know how to get them.
Lots of children are a blessing.

Enter! And marriage is
the be-all and end-all here.

I've never trusted
a bachelor in this profession.

You wouldn't let
a teetotaller sell beer!

That's a good one. Hear that?
Let a teetotaller sell beer.

This is the birth statistics
of the @stfold.

Let's see, then.

It's gone up 11 per cent.
Most notably in Halden.

The Haldenfolk
are industrious people.

Fredrikstad: 132 births,
of which 17 were illegitimate.

Indeed? They're busy in the bushes.

You know how it goes:
"Go, Frekstad!

Sarpsborg isn't too bad, either.
It's risen from 113 to 121.

They've nothing else to do
in Sarpsborg.

- Only Moss seems to be behind.
- That's odd.

The saying goes:
"Those of Moss fought their best.”

I've been wondering ...
I've discussed this with some people.

- What have you concluded, then?
- Well, you see ...

My wife believes that it's due to ...

Due to what? Your wife?

Did you say ...
What kind of wife do you mean?

1 got ahead of myself.
It wasn't supposed to get out.

- What a shame. Let it out, then.
- I got married two months ago.

But I didn't want to say it here.
They've got this gift list.

Everyone has to give five kroner.
It's not too popular.

- What an excuse to have.
- It may sound a bit silly.

But the thing is
that now that I've married ...

I was going to say it later on
once I was sure it would last.

I was going to let it slip that
"oh, by the way, I've married."”

In an offhand manner.

Very amusing.

- Most splendid.
- Yes, indeed.

It's been fun for me to pretend to be
a bachelor, but not always easy.

And I thought
you were such a dry stick.

Well, then, congratulations.
Even if it is a bit post festum.

1 hope you will be as happy
as I was with my ... wife.

- Are you getting married?
- He has.

- You can't keep it a secret now.
- No, there no point in that.

I was sure there was something.
When we were having lunch.

You blushed, and there was
something about you. An aura of eros.

- Eros?
- What did you want, miss Flint?

I just wanted to remind you
of the board meeting.

I haven't forgotten. Thank you.

So, we were in the middle of
the birth statistics.

I hope that you will make
a personal contribution to it.

- Yes, ll shall do my best.
- By all means do.

lam looking forward to
meeting your wife next Thursday.

- Next Thursday?
- Yes, on the founding day.

The annual dinner for
employees and spouses.

I bet they'll all be
looking forward to meeting your wife.

-1 don't think ... It's no good.
- You can't keep her locked away.

No. Thanks a lot for the invitation.

It was a most confused mr Lund
who walked home that day.

What was he getting himself into?
He had never done anything like it.

That's how little we know
about our future.

Life has its traffic jams.

Watch where you're going.
That was a close call.

You can't do this on your own.
This wasn't in the curriculum.

Have you no one to ask for advice?
Talk to your friend Reinert -

- and his wife.
They may give you a drink.

Long live the "bride" and "groom".

Now there's no turning back.

What am I to say when Rustad
finds out that this is all a lie?

- Say you've been divorced.
- That takes time.

If you get divorced
through the court.

I'll testify to having
fooled around with your wife.

- You haven't heard the worst part.
- You're having a baby?

Next Thursday there's a dinner for
the employees and their wives.

- Oh dear.
- You're in a bit of a pickle.

- Just say she's ill.
- The Aisa-fever should do just fine.

- It won't do. I can't keep lying.
- No, you'd need a doctor's note.

There must be a way.

Couldn't we ...

No, that won't do.

But if we ... No.

I have it!

No, that's too far out.

I'll just have to tell the truth
and take it from there.

Anita is thinking.

You don't fraternize with
your colleagues.

- No.
- So it's just this one time?

Alright, then find a nice girl
and pretend that she's your wife.

Bravo!
Anita has her head screwed on right.

- But that would be fraud.
- Sure, but aren't you a businessman?

Just make sure
you don't get caught.

Now we'll just have to find
a girl who can pretend -

- she's desperately in love with you.

- That won't be easy for her.
-1 could do that.

You?

You?

No, I can't take any more of this.
You and Bjgrn? Good Lord.

- If I'm good enough for you.
- Yes, dear me.

But will you really do it, Anita?

Hey, you have to ask me.
It's my woman.

People can borrow your bike
but not your wife.

Bjern won't become a manager
if he shows up with your bike.

Imagine if people found out
that my wife was available for loan.

- No, no one must find out.
- What a joy.

To suddenly have two men. I've always
dreamt of being a bigamist.

- Well, do you mind, Tor?
- The things people do for a friend.

Go on. Take my wife. Just remember:
Return her in the same condition.

And one more thing:
You're not entitled to loan her out.

- Cheers. And good luck.
- Cheers.

Long live assistant secretary Lund
and his wife.

May they live
may they live

may they live until they die

and may you have a lot of children
and may you have a lot of children

and may you have a lot of children

It is my pleasure to present you with
the twelve enamelled spoons.

Thanks a lot. That's very ...

Rattle, Lund,
how mean to keep it a secret.

- A premonition of pregnancy.
- Here you are.

Thank you, thank you so much.
And from my wife as well.

She will have the opportunity
to meet several of you.

She is looking very much
forward to it.

- You take mrs Holmsen as usual.
- This year as well.

I'm so sick of hearing about
her trips to Rome and those ruins.

She's had her appendix removed so
you'll have a new topic to discuss.

The last time she had
her kidneys and liver removed.

And you sit by Knutsen,
he's the oldest.

- I'm sort of the hostess.
- And my treasured secretary.

Who occasionally grants me
a bit of joy and intimacy.

Secretary and partner in bed.
Practical and cheap.

Practical perhaps, but cheap?
No, that you are not.

What is she doing?
I can't stand being late.

You'll get used to that once you've
been married to her a while.

- It'll be a while.
- This is terrible.

Don't be so nervous.

Drink, it'll help.

- She could have started earlier.
- Beauty takes it's time.

1 told her to do a good job.
Bjorn's wife has to do him credit.

Here lam.

Good grief.

Bravo! You look as if
you're going to a royal ball.

Lord have mercy.

You're much too bare.

So, what do you think
your boss will say?

- He'll appoint you on the spot.
- Anita, you have to wear the scarf.

I can do that,
but then you won't get the job.

No director in this world
can resist Anita's broadside.

- Super stuff.
- The guests are here.

If only they were this precise
at the office. My, you look pretty.

Is it okay?

You're much too pretty
for this sorry bunch.

- I'm looking forward to it.
- This is your first time.

If this wasn't a family tradition
from granddad's time ...

Well, hello mrs Holmsen.

How is the appendix
and the rest of your innards?

Welcome.

Well, another year has passed.

Your tie. Now you'll have to pretend
that you're in love.

- In love?
- We're newlyweds.

You have to look deep into my eyes
as if no one else was here.

There, we're all alone
in this world.

Only you and ...
This will be difficult.

I'll call you "honey bear"
and you'll call me "sugar".

- That's the dumbest I've ever heard.
- Get a grip.

And once in a while
you'll have to steal a kiss from me.

1 will not. Tor is my best friend.
No kissing.

When I offer my lips, just do it.

Just a word of advice
from someone in the know.

Maybe we should
have a taste of the goods.

- Have you met mrs Lund?
- No, I haven't had the pleasure.

Maybe it isn't much of a pleasure.

- Hello. Nice weather today.
- Sure, but not as good as in Rome.

- Nothing beats Rome. I love Rome.
- Do you, now?

Nothing beats a dry Martini.

- Can we be seated?
- The Lunds haven't come.

That's not like Lund.
I'm sure it's his wife's fault.

There they are at last.

Mother of God.

Welcome, welcome indeed, mrs Lund.
This was certainly ...

- Thanks for the invitation.
- I'm the one who's grateful.

Well, this is my boss, Rustad.
And this is mrs Rei...

- Anita Lund.
- Yes, I'm aware of that.

Your husband is a trickster,
keeping you a secret.

But you don't let a jewel
out on public display.

- You're exaggerating.
- No, absolutely not.

Min husband
told me so much about you.

- What has he said?
- 1 got a fine impression of you.

- It might become better.
- Good evening.

- Good evening.
- This is my secretary mrs Flint.

- What a pretty wife you've found.
- It was I who found him.

Right, honey bear?

I guess I played
a part in it as well, sugar.

- Honey bear and sugar. Cute.
- You're a happy man.

- Haven't we met before?
- No, absolutely not.

You remind me of someone.
I can't recall who.

Maybe you'd like to meet the rest.
Have you met his colleagues?

Miss Flint, would you care to
show her around?

I just remembered something.
Excuse me.

I'm quite certain
that we've met somewhere before.

How can Lund afford
to dress her like that?

- What if I wanted a dress like that?
- You? But you haven't ...

Ladies and gentlemen. Be seated.
Will you escort mrs Holmsen?

And Holmsen will escort mrs Jensen.
And then it's the two of you.

And miss Flint will have her fun
with Knutsen as usual.

- How clever of you.
- 1 hope you'll escort me.

- It's too much of an honour.
- The honour is all mine.

- Hello. Cheers.
- Good evening.

- I guess it's us, then?
- It is?

- We're the only ones left.
- Forgive me, I was a bit absent.

Come on, then.

Ladies and gentlemen.

It's a great joy for me to meet with
my employees on this special day.

And not least their wives -

- who seems to be taking
great interest in the company.

On this occasion,
on this delicious occasion, -

- there are two things
that naturally come to mind.

Two things, topics may be
2 more appropriate word, -

- that I cannot
help paying attention to.

The first point is
the effort made by the staff.

A magnificent effort
in the past year. Your effort.

The second point ...

It's very much like the first one.

It's just opposite to it.

In brief: 'Nuff said.

You will sense that I am transported
by the gravity of this matter.

These words are meant to express
the company's gratitude for -

- your effort in the past year.

- Dad?
- Furthermore ...

- Dad?
- What is it, Wenche?

- The head of office.
- Certainly, certainly.

My daughter, who is now
a grown woman, -

- and who is here for the first time,
reminds me of the office head.

It is a very important position,
and having such skilled employees -

- makes it seem unnatural
to look somewhere else.

As matters are now, I will make
no decision until after the holiday.

Ladies and gentlemen.
I ask you to lift up your glass -

- and drink to a year of high spirits
and a happy future -

- for the company Rustad and Co.
Cheers.

I didn't know
you were your dad's daughter.

- Whose daughter would I be, then?
- I certainly wouldn't know.

- You seem a bit distraught.
- What might the boss mean by that?

I haven't a clue.
He never confides in me.

- It must be nice being newlyweds.
- I'm not really used to it.

I mean, it's the first time
that I'm spending time with my wife.

In the company of others, that is.

- Oh, I see.
- Lund? Cheers.

- May I join you?
- Certainly. Cheers.

You have an enchanting wife.
You'll be having plenty of children?

Children? Loads of them.
My husbands loves children.

Isn't that right, honey bear?

Yes, we love children. And that is
a benefit to the company, isn't it?

- Mr Lund, telephone for you.
- For me? Thank you. Excuse me.

- I'm actually jealous of you.
- Jealous of me?

My husband is so much into his work.
He talks and thinks of nothing else.

Even in the middle of the night.
You have no idea.

You have no idea
how much she exaggerates.

There must be a limit to hapiness.
It's nothing but "honey bear".

I can almost see her before me.

But there's one thing
you have to be careful of:

She can't stomach liqueur.

Only one glass.
If she has two, she'll go bonkers.

Give her three
and anything can happen.

I'll take good care of her.

Just one glass of liqueur.

- A tad more liqueur?
- Please, I love it.

- Oh, I feel so good.
- Good, great, gorgeous.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Are you standing there by yourself?
Say, did you go to church?

- Church?
- Tell me all about the wedding.

Oh, that.
No, we went to town hall.

A church wedding is so festive.

But the result is exactly the same.

- Excuse me, but I'd better ...
- Let your wife enjoy herself.

You've had her incarcerated.

I hadn't imagined,
I would never have thought -

- that Lund would get
such a charming wife.

- Really?
- He's a fine gentleman. Absolutely.

But you're something
quite different.

A different beat, a different pace.

- He's like a quiet little horse.
- He may be at the office.

At home he breaks into a gallop,
like a wild mustang of the prairie.

You haven't been
on your honeymoon yet?

- No, but we're going to.
- You must go to Rome.

It's so wonderful with those squares,
the fountains and St Peter's, -

- the Colosseum, Forum Romanum
Monte Pincio and all those things.

No thanks, I've had two already.

Well, here's the mustang!

Your wife is ...

She has only one error:
She doesn't drink enough liqueur.

- She's not allowed to.
- Nonsense.

To know so little about you wife
after sharing a table and a bed.

I love liqueur,
and I love you, honey bear.

- And you too.
- Magnificent. Do continue.

Such vivacity, such intelligence.
Cheers, my little temptation.

Cheers.

- Careful now, Anita.
- I'm very careful.

Honey bear
must look after his sugar.

Put your arms around me
and give me a kiss.

Can't you save that
for when you get home?

I'm certain I've seen you
somewhere or other, mrs Lund.

- Impossible.
- Let's go inside.

- You'll catch a cold out here.
- I'm not freezing.

- It suddenly grew a bit nippy.
- You seem to be in heat, though.

Yes, lovely food,
lovely wine and lovely ...

- Don't get out where it's too deep.
- Not with you as my anchor.

- Thank God we're not married.
- My sentiment exactly.

Everybody would understand
that I'd divorce you.

- You ought to be grateful.
- Everybody will laugh at me.

What are you laughing at?
Answer me.

We're arguing
as if we really were married.

İt's no good for a man to be alone

that's the way it's always been
since the time of Adam

to stand abandoned
on the grave scene of life

may do for a while
but not for all time

that's why my friend
1 ask of you

lend me your wife

I feel so sad tonight
need to see a friendly face

lend me your wife

make all decency
seem like necessity

lend me your wife
just for a single night

aren't we friends
we will just ...

- What's that he's singing?
- Don't you know "Lend me your wife"?

She's got class, she's got laughs
she's so fine

I need her
to get me in motion

she's good, she's true
heart of gold

I can assure you
we won't fool around

lend me your wife
just for tonight my friend

then I'll send her back
once I get a wife of my own

then I'll pay my debt
I'll let you borrow mine one night

lend me your wife
I feel so sad tonight

I need to see a friendly face
lend me your wife

let all decency
seem like necessity

lend me your wife
just for a single night

aren't we friends
we'll just go dance a bit

most innocent and free
she's got class, she's got laughs

she's so fine
I need her to get me in motion

she's good, she's true
heart of gold

I can assure you
we won't fool around

lend me your wife
just for tonight my friend

then I'll send her back
once I get a wife of my own

then I'll pay my debt
I'll lend you my wife for a night

Now it's my turn!

- It's been lovely.
- Thanks you.

- Get home well.
- Thanks you.

- Would you like another drink?
- No, I must get home to my husband.

Your husband?
Yes, of course. I understand.

- Maybe a glass of champagne?
- Let's save it for another time.

- You promise?
- Oh, thank you. Yes.

Once again, thank you so much
for tonight. It's been really lovely.

You think so? I think so too.

It's feels so good talking to you.

- Honey bear, let's get home to bed.
- Thank you for tonight, director.

Listen, Lund. There's this matter
I'd like to ask you about.

There's a fair in Horten.
I'd like you to represent us there.

- I'd be happy to.
- Good.

I'll be there myself.
I have a country house nearby.

And you'll be bringing
your wife, of course.

- My wife?
- Yes, the company will pay for it.

Besides, a young married couple
will make an impression on customers.

Yes, but ...

No buts now.
She can't stay in town by herself.

I'm looking forward to seeing her.
She'll like it in Horten.

No, no, no, no!

This must come to an end.
Representing the company.

When pigs fly.

I take it you'll be smooching around
in some double bed.

- We'll get separate rooms.
- I'm just shocked.

I'm at a loss for words.
Thank you.

You're using my wife
to gain economic benefits.

That's tantamount to sl*very!
That's what it is!

Say something, dear.

What am I to do? Suffer profoundly
while you're smooching in bed?

- Tor, you trust me, don't you?
- The hell 1 do.

- You're some kind of man, right?
- But don't you trust Anita, then?

- Anita? Well ...
- Say something, darling.

You'd have to be
very undernourished if ...

But you're not.

But still. I won't do it! I can't.
There'll be no going to Horten.

Thanks.

- What a gorgeous room.
- This is our bridal suite.

Oh, dear God.
Could you get me some kind of screen?

- A screen? We don't have any.
- A couple of sheets, then.

- I've already made the bed.
- I want some sheets and pegs.

- I'll pass that on.
- And a rope.

- A rope?
- Yes.

- Are you going to hang yourself?
- That might be an idea.

- What would Tor say?
- "Lovely paradise mattress”.

He wouldn't
leave me alone all night.

-1 don't get why he accepted it.
- Tor is so kind.

- And then he trusts me.
- Good Lord, Anita!

It isn't easy to remember
when you're allowed to do what.

And with whom.

Now you'll have lots of privacy.
And so will I.

Thank you. I'd have pined away
if I'd had a single glimpse of you.

- I'll take a shower before dinner.
- You do that, honey bear.

But I want to have fun tonight.
Lobster and champagne. On the house.

Hello, it's me.

It's only me!

- And who's me?
- Rustad.

Director Rustad?

Oh, I'm just getting dressed.

Don't mind me.

Hi there. I'm almost done.

I've taken a few days off,
and I thought I'd bid you welcome.

- Thank you. I love flowers.
- So do .

Thanks for the dinner.
Have a seat, I'll be right there.

- Are you doing your laundry?
- We've just prepared for the night.

I see.

Can I offer you anything?

It's kind of you to ask,
but I think ...

Don't hurry. I'm in no rush.
I have all the time in the world.

It's almost too hot in here
for one man to bear.

Listen, my enchanting mrs Lund.
I've had an idea.

How would you like to have
a drink with me when you're done?

- That would be lovely.
- You husband can come as well.

Say, what do you use
those sheets for?

You know, I may be old fashioned,
but I'm actually rather shy.

I don't like being watched when
I undress. Not even by honey bear.

Is that so?
You have a chastity complex.

- I'm done now.
- Charming as always.

Honey, honey bear?
Director Rustad is here.

Good day, Lund.

I dropped it in the sink.

Don't worry.
Life is full of glasses.

- Well, cheers again, then.
- Cheers.

Call the office at nine
if you're out of bed at that hour.

- I'll do that.
- 1 have to hurry up.

Or miss Flint
will get flinty with me.

Your husband will be very busy
the next couple of days.

- I'll miss him every second.
- Keep the change.

There was one thing
about our catalogue.

Would it be an idea to ...

Anita, look ...

- Hello, have you got sunstroke?
- No, it's just a thing we have.

- Just a load of rubbish.
- Well, I hope you get over it.

No, stay seated.
This was most pleasing, madam.

I'll see you one of these days.
Adieu. Thanks for now.

- Hello, Tor.
- Who was that old shark?

- That was my boss.
- Boss schmoss. He was on the prowl.

- You saw how he ogled Anita.
- Nonsense.

- Have you caught a cold?
- It's just that damned hay fever.

Why have you come?

- Am I not welcome here?
- Sure.

But it just makes our story
so complicated.

My silly sweetness.

You wouldn't mind if I borrow
your wife tonight, would you?

We'll have so much more space
when we get that wall knocked down.

The amount of space
will be the same.

But we'll have more
light, air and elbowroom.

Call an architect tomorrow
and have him take a look at it.

Can't it wait until Monday?
Knutsen is here tomorrow.

Knutsen will be here, indeed.

I just had an idea. Shouldn't we
invite Lund and his wife?

Well, you can't invite
mrs Lund all on her own.

How can you say that? I would never
invite mrs Lund without her husband.

There's something odd about her.

I've seen her somewhere.
If only I could ...

I have to concentrate.

Poor thing, she's merely shapely.
There's nothing odd about that.

The god-awful hay fever.

Poor you.

- It's those flowers.
- Carnations won't harm you.

Even parsley can trigger this.

Yes? Yes?

Lund? There's no Lund here.

It was the old shark.

Are you nuts?
He'll probably call again.

Hurry up and fetch Bjgrn.

- What are you looking for?
- My slippers.

- Go barefoot.
- Don't push me.

Hello. I didn't get to finish.
1 got cut out.

Give me the same number again.

Hello, miss?
I asked for manager Lund.

No, he wasn't alright. He was mad.
You put me through to a madman.

- Finally.
- Hello?

Yes, that's me.
No, I've been here all along.

Out of breath?
ljust did a little gymnastics.

Yes, I've caught
a bit of a cold. It'll pass.

I hope so. I wanted to invite you
and your wife over for the weekend.

The weekend?

Well, it's nice in the countryside.

- Have you gone mad? Say no!
- Have you gone ...

I think we'll have to pass,
but of course we'll come.

No, no ...

Hello?

Could you please stop fighting
and tell me what to say?

- Say yes, damn it.
- Yes, damn it.

I'm sorry, there's a lot of noise
from the street.

It's the Salvation Army.
I'd better close the window.

That would be a sight.
A weekend in bed together.

They probably have two beds.
Do as I tell you!

Don't you dare.
I'll rip your head off.

It wasn't the Salvation Army.
It was a bulldozer.

Yes, we would very much like to come,
but we're going to see my aunt.

Hello, good evening.
You know, we really want to come.

- My aunt? I'll have to k*ll her.
- Brilliant. Excellent.

But tell me,
what are you two doing?

It sounds a lot like ...

Oh, it's the radio?
A radio drama? I see.

But I'll be seeing you, then?

How kind of you.
We know we'll have a good time.

Yes, my husband sneezed to that.
Bye, then.

Yes, it's lovely out here
on a day like this.

You look wonderful in that dress.

You are like a summer's dream
of cornflowers and poppies.

Don't get too flowery.

Would you like a cold drink?

- You won again.
- That was pure luck.

You know, there are days
when everything just goes right.

- Yes, a kind of lucky day.
- Yes.

Sorry.

- That tasted great.
- Was it cold enough?

- It was perfect.
- There you are.

I thought you'd run off with her.

He's better at bowls than you.
Dad just fools around.

I'm allowed to do that
with my own ba*ls.

Doff that tie, Lund.

- You're not in the office.
- The mosquitoes really like me.

- They never bug me.
- Mosquitoes have good taste.

Give us a smile.
Stand still. That's it. Thank you.

Yes, so did they
spend the day until night -

- softly veiled everything
and it was time to go to bed.

Good night, my little Wenche
You sense that Lund fancies you.

But don't dream too much of him.
He's married.

You don't know that he isn't.

Good evening, architect Reinert.
So you're out on a late drive.

Well, it certainly is
a lovely summer night.

Bless you. Poor you.

Dear me, that hay fever.
It's no laughing matter.

Whoops!

You forgot your nasal spray.
Hey! Can't you hear me, man?

He should have been here.
This is terribly risky.

Well, I never ... How very decent.
Tor bought it for me.

He probably thought
my nightgown was too light.

I guess he was afraid you'd have
a few rebel hormones.

- Keep my hormones out of this.
- There he is.

Don't sneeze!
You'll wake up everybody.

Ivy is the worst
for people with hay fever.

- Never.
- Have you gone to bed?

What is it, miss Flint?

I just brought you a bit of fruit.
I suddenly thought of something.

You haven't gone to bed yet.
Then I can come in.

It's so good to have
some fruit to eat in this heat.

What was I going to say?

Now I remember. The KNA Christmas
ball, isn't that where we've met?

- The KNA? No.
- Impossible. We're not members.

You weren't married back then.
Maybe you went with someone else.

- Did you catch a cold?
- Hay fever. Summers are the worst.

Poor you.

I react to certain things.

Jasmine, for instance, and ...

Then it wasn't KNA either,
but I will remember eventually.

Good night. Sleep tight.

I hope you'll get better.

Try yoga.
You have to convince yourself.

I will not sneeze.

1 will not sneeze, I will not ...

- It really did go away.
- There you see.

Concentrate Lund, concentrate.

1 will sleep. I will sleep.
I'm already asleep.

I've slept for a long time.
A long time.

I won't be able to sleep.

I think I've fallen in love.

- Not with me, right?
- No, not with you.

Hello? Are you awake?

You have to get up.

- What is it?
- Thunder. We're having drinks.

Wenche, don't be scared.
Come downstairs and have a drink.

There you go.

Don't bang like that.
I need to sleep.

- How it rumbles.
- It's right over us now.

- Take it easy.
- Good evening or good morning.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

- Here we are again. Cosy.
- It's not the least bit cosy.

There's no danger
as long as we have liquid.

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

- I certainly is loud.
- Like New Year's Eve.

This is no laughing matter.
I'm scared.

- Don't be scared.
- This will chase your fears away.

Knutsen, tell us
one of your ghost stories.

- No, they're horrendous.
- Then turn off the light.

- Oh no.
- There's no reason to be scared.

- Go on, Knutsen.
- Oh dear.

I'll tell you a true story about
the body that disappeared.

- 1 hate such nonsense.
- Itisn't nonsense.

Have you seen
a dead man on a bike?

- No, never.
- But ll have.

1 used to live with my uncle.

The house lay by the graveyard,
and every night I awakened to -

- cries from amongst the tomb stones
and the owls' hooting -

- above the bell tower.

Hell no. Get it away.

Don't you curse while I'm speaking
about my dead uncle's body.

One night he played cards with
the gravedigger. He was a gloomy man.

He bore the mark of misery.
He was in a state of torment.

My nasal spray.

That damned nasal spray.

Of course.

I suddenly heard my uncle
crying for help: "Help! Help!”

I was paralyzed.
I could not move.

But the cries cut through the raging
elements like the end of days.

Suddenly I heard screaming.
I clenched my teeth, -

- stalked to the window,
and there he stood, horribly beaten.

See for yourselves.

- Uncle? You're dead ...
- What's this?

- Concentrate.
- Don't take me.

- You saw it too, didn't you?
- 1 didn't see a thing.

- Did you?
- You were imagining things.

I'll go and find out what your uncle
is doing on my property.

- Morning.
- Morning.

- Can't you sleep either?
- No, I might as well get up.

Nice weather.

- Would you care for a walk?
- Certainly.

Let's see what happens next.
There they go.

A young man
and a very young girl.

And the sun is shining,
birds are singing -

- and hearts are beating.
Now is the time.

Be brave,
seize upon this opportunity.

Remember: Who dares wins.

- What are you thinking about?
- Nothing.

- It's warm.
- Yes, it is quite warm.

- Look, it's a reed warbler.
- So that's a reed warbler?

- Have you seen anything that cute?
- No.

- And it's got fledgelings.
- That usually happens.

Pull yourself together, Lund.
Otherwise you won't get anywhere.

Tell me, Wenche,
have you ever been in love?

- Oh yes, many times.
- You have?

- Does that strike you as odd?
- Not odd, no.

It's just that I've never been
properly in love.

- Aren't you in love with your wife?
- Yes, so to speak. Of course.

Honestly, Lund. This won't do.
You have to get it across to her.

- Wenche, you are very sweet?
-lam?

You're so sweet and pretty.
I don't know what's gone into me.

- Wenche, I love you.
- I beg your pardon?

- But if you only knew ...
- But you're married.

You fancy me as well, don't you?
Don't you, Wenche?

I don't know.
We have to think of your wife.

- She has no say in this.
- How can you say that?

- Wenche, listen to me.
- Leave me alone. You're horrid.

But, Wenche!

Wenche!

Mrs Nilsen? Postpone breakfast.
The director wants to take a swim.

Anita!

Anita!

- What's happened to you?
- It's no laughing matter.

- Good morning. Did you sleep well?
- Lovely, thank you.

You look so sprightly.
May I take a picture of you?

Lift your arm. Move left a bit.
And smile. That's it.

That must have been a she-gull.

Oh my. This is becoming
more and more mysterious.

And she's crying.
I have to get to the bottom of this.

Concentrate. Concentrate.

There's no reason to get so upset.

I'm sick and tired of this.
I've had it!

- Rustad might hear you.
- Why is this Rustad so important?

You had better show up
at the hotel one o'clock sharp, -

- or I'll call Rustad
and reveal this.

- You promise to wait that long?
- Yes.

Just let me get out of here
before it's too late.

The coast is clear.
There's a rope by the hall window.

Concentrate. Concentrate.

I knew something would pop up.
Here it comes!

Here it comes!

You, there! Hey!

Now I get it! Now I get it!

You come along with me.

Come on, then.

Sit down. Just a moment!

What have you got to say,
architect Reinert?

- It's a mighty fine photograph.
- And what will Rustad say?

Postpone breakfast.
I'm going for a morning swim.

I also know
how to play a double game.

- Good morning. Who are you?
- This is architect Reinert.

Welcome. Weren't you
supposed to come tomorrow?

It was better today because of
personal engagements.

Very personal engagements.

We were discussing
the redecoration.

- You agree, don't you?
- Absolutely!

- That door should be boarded up.
- Have you gone mad?

The wall has to go. We need space.
Explain it while I go for a swim.

I'll breast the waves
with a wonderful woman.

- He's very fond of your wife.
- What a coincidence. So am l.

Mrs Lund. Hello, fair lady.
The salton waves await us.

The North Sea swells
like the violin of the fields

see how it reflects
our love and the sun

-1 am always prepared.
- Hurry up. I'm awash with longing.

- Now, there's a sight.
- That's nothing.

- Are you suggesting ...
- No.

No, you're telling it straight.

Hello. A sight for sore eyes.

Thank you for tonight.
My, what a bang.

- What did he mean by that?
-1 don't know why you accept this.

I'm not going to.

- I'll teach him a lesson.
- No.

-1 won't let him get away with it.
- Sweet revenge.

- How so?
- 1 know just what to do.

Take your clothes off.

You look so crestfallen, Lund,
but don't be sad.

Tell Wenche the whole thing,
and everything will be fine.

Come on in.
No, I got ahead of myself.

Let's see then.
Go on and knock, man.

Well, if you haven't the guts ...

- That was a very long swim.
- Here they come.

- Very romantic.
- Well, now it's our turn.

- Let's drink first.
- Cheers.

- What do you say?
- This sounds like a proposal.

- That was my intention.
- But I'm married.

But I don't think you're as happy
with your husband as you should be.

-1 heard you arguing.
- Did you, now?

And my name was mentioned.

- So I'm right, then?
- What about miss Flint?

Miss Flint?
I never promised to marry her.

She has her high salary
and her pension.

- I'm serious.
- Come off it now.

Just think about it, then.

What in the name of God?
What is going on here?

Don't disturb us.
We're redecorating.

- You call that redecorating?
- We're just going over the details.

I won't accept this.
This is immoral.

How dare you r*pe my secretary?

I'm the one raping here.

Shame on you!
Go to your room at once!

With pleasure.
Come along, my little architect.

Out!

You old heartbreaker.

- How dare you speak like that?
- That's none of your business.

This is no house of scandal.
I have an innocent daughter.

Imagine if she saw you
making out here.

I don't think you should be
speaking too much of -

- decency and innocence!
Those are both lacking in this house.

- What are you implying?
- Just what I've seen and heard.

- Are you still wet behind the ears?
- At least I'm not a dried out husk.

And I'm not chasing married women
like a certain old merchant -

- in the panic age.

You! Come here!

Go for it, gramps!

Cheers.

- What's going on?
- Things are about to explode.

I'll leave before the dam bursts.

- You should do the same.
- Not at all.

I'll set things straight.

Even if it'll cost me my job
and Wenche and the lot.

Good luck, and thanks for
the good company.

I'll beat you to a pulp,
you architect b*stard.

Be my guest.
That is, if you can catch me.

My most expensive painting.
An H.C. Hansen.

You got framed.

- Tor?
- Get in!

Wenche, I have to go. Would you mind
coming out and bidding me farewell?

You're leaving?

I just wanted to tell you
that I love you.

Nothing else matters.

Now I've had it.
Are you two in on this as well?

- Ilove your daughter.
- Love my daughter.

Get down, Wenche!
Go down to the living room.

This next part
is not for you to hear.

What do you think
your wife will say to this?

I don't have a wife.

You don't ... But what in the ...

I just told you to get that job.
I've deceived you, Rustad.

- 1 will tender my resignation.
- Resignation? I won't hear it.

So you're not married?
You are phenomenal, Lund.

- Where is she?
- She's gone to Horten.

-1 must tell you something.
- Say it quick, quick, quick.

-1 can't say it quick, quick, quick.
- I understand.

Of course I'll appoint you
head of office, Lund.

Congratulations.

That wasn't it!

Carl, you musn't.
There's no point doing it.

- Don't interfere with me.
- He's going to k*ll you.

- k*ll me? Why, I never ...
- Honestly, Carl.

You, there!
Are you lying here as well?

Can't you get enough?

- Apparently you can't either.
- Hold this 2 moment.

Here you are, mrs Lund.

You should know that
I'm a middle weight champion.

I'm the table tennis champion
of last Easter.

It was her husband.
I'm through with women forever.

Will you marry me?

- That's it, poor you.
- Yes, poor me.

What's your name?

Bjern.

A final kiss
we've seen so many times.

Let's gaze into the future.

The future that looms
in a rosy glow -

- and which we hope will bring us
many and great joys.

Oh, did! say joys?