A Lady Takes a Chance (1943)

[bunniefuu]

Vacation Central, tour 49,
now loading for Kansas City...

Cheyenne, Pendleton
and the wonders of the west.

- Oh hello Malcolm.
- Hello Molly.

Oh how lovely.

- Come on in.
- All right.

- Where do you want this?
- Well, up here, I guess.

All right.

- Where's your luggage and everything?
- Oh, Greg has it.

- Greg?
- He stopped to get me something to read.

Brought me down a taxi,
wasn't that nice of him?

Oh, I don't know.

- You don't like Greg, do you?
- I hate him.

- Malcolm, why can't we all be friends?
- Because I hate him.

Malcolm.

I put the other bag in the
luggage compartment honey.

- Oh, thank you Greg.
- Hi Malcolm.

- Nice to see you Gregg, how you been?
- Fine, thanks.

This for you honey.

- A guide to the west.
- Oh, wonderful.

- 350 illustrations.
- Really?

- You don't say?
- You know, I always think it's...

interesting to see things you've
only seen pictures of before.

- Gives you a kick, you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah.

- Pardon me Malcolm, I'll get this up here.
- Can I help you with that?

No, I'll manage, thanks.

What's all this?

Oh, that's a present
from Malcolm, isn't it lovely?

Yeah, better not eat too much of
it though, that'll make you sick.

- Looks like you're out west already.
- Yeah.

- Molly?
- No, thank you.

- Malcom?
- No, thanks.

Gee, you look swell
Molly, doesn't she Malcolm?

- That's what I always tell her.
- Well, I guess it's these flowers.

- Mr. MacGarnigal gave them to me.
- Oh?

- Nice old guy MacGarnigal.
- Yeah.

- Hey Duchess, where are you?
- Hello Bob.

Oh, I see we have a quorum here.

- How are you men anyway?
- Fine.

- Nice to see you.
- Here Duchess, eat your head off.

Oh, thank you.
Oh, you shouldn't have done it.

Ah, don't be silly.

Ah, put it up there next
to the other one, will you?

Sure.

- Mine.
- Excuse me please.

- You pardon us.
- I'm glad I'm here anyway.

I didn't think I was
going to make it for a while.

I'm crude-up and aboard
in Bossroad in my taxi and a...

- Don't tell us about it.
- No.

Is there anything I can do
for you while you gone honey?

- Yeah, get married.
- Listen, brother...

Now listen, I'm not going to
have you acting like this.

Well I, well I, I guess you better be going.

- Well, good bye Molly.
- Good bye.

And think it over.

You know, what we were
talking about the other night?

- Yes, I will.
- Good bye.

Molly...

Yes Greg.

Good bye Bob.

So long Duchess.

- Good bye boys.
- Good bye.

- Goodbye.
- Watch out for snakes.

Yeah, all kinds.

Honey, you mind if I ask you a question?

- Why no, go ahead.
- What you going away for?

Oh, I hope you don't think I'm
forward for speaking first but...

after all, one of us had to speak first,
so what's the difference which one?

- My name is Molly J. Truesdale.
- Florrie Bendix.

- How do you do?
- Glad to know you.

Glad to know you.

How are you enjoying the trip so far?

- Oh, fine.
- Not me.

I wish I'd have known.
I bet I wouldn't have come.

- Why not?
- Why not?

Look at the no fellas.

That's all right with me.

Hello everybody. Hello, hello,
hello, hello, hello, hello.

Folks, I'd like to
have your attention for a minute.

You're going to have mine for the next 14
days so it isn't asking for too much, is it?

No, that's what I thought.

I'd like to introduce myself to
you, my name is Smiley Lambert.

But you folks can call me Smiley
Lambert, that's pretty cute, isn't it?

How are you? Good to see you.
All set for 14 breathless days?

Doesn't mean you have to
hold your breath, now does it?

How are you sir? It's glad to see you.
Yes sir, a big, happy family.

The idea is not to get in each other's hair.

Hair today, gone tomorrow, I always say.

Got an idea you don't like
me, eh brother? Well, I'll grow on you.

Yes sir, grow on you.
How are you girls? Having fun?

Good to see you, how are you?

Well, look at this little man here.
All set for a nice, little trip?

You're all right Sonny.

We...

Well, sex appeal folks, right over here.

Yes sir, sex appeal.
Oh, you pretty, pretty, pretty.

Well, we'll be leaving
in about two minutes...

- Change seats with me, will you?
- I certainly don't blame you.

This is the old necking department
folks, in case anybody is interested.

Yes sir, we used to call this a saloon.
Everybody came here here for scotch and sofa.

You're right with me, ain't you?
All right there all the time.

Now folks, we'll be off for the smoothest,
most comfortable ride you ever had.

Yes sir, the easiest, smoothest,
most comfortable ride you ever had.

And I'm the boy that's going to tell you
about it. Ok major, let her go.

Contact.

- Hot dog?
- No.

- Are you all right?
- I guess so.

- Folks, it was a happy landing...
- You sure you ain't busted no place?

- Well, I'm pretty sure.
- Ok.

Hey Duke, we all right?

- Sure, sure Waco.
- We ain't hurt?

We ain't even shook up.

We would've rode that other horse,
we would've taken the day money.

Yeap, we sure would've.

- Hey mister.
- Oh, hello.

- Would you mind giving me your autograph?
- My what?

Would you just sign my program please?
I want to keep it as a souvenir.

I don't mind.

Duke Hudkins.
Thank you very much Mr. Hudkins.

I, I don't get sat on every day.

Well,

goodbye.

Hey lady.

You want to sign my program?

- Me? Well, gee whiz Mr. Hudkins, I don't...
- I don't sit on people every day.

Oh, sure.

This is pretty fancy. I don't know
whether you can read it or not.

Molly J. Truesdale.

Let's go Molly.

- What?
- You like beer, don't you?

Well, isn't it funny what can
happen, just because somebody...

happens to sit on somebody?

Where you from?

- The east.
- Is that so?

Where you from?

- West.
- Is that so?

♪ Oh, if you troubled by the
blues watch those swinging feet ♪

♪ They'll have you dancing in your shoes,
telling you buddy, they can't be beat ♪

♪ King of swing you sing with
me promise not to abdicate ♪

♪ Fall in line and don't be late ♪

♪ Staying and swaying and
singing and swinging, yeah ♪

- Two beers.
- Coming up.

Well...

I must say this is certainly
an extra added attraction.

How's that?

Well, there was nothing like this
included in all expenses paid.

Oh?

- Do you mind if I feel your arm?
- Go ahead.

That's what I thought.

Well, here's to you.

- Maybe you don't like beer.
- Oh, no.

- No?
- Oh, no, no, I mean, this is fine.

You know...

I think it's, I think it's nice for two
people to just sit and talk, don't you?

Yeah, they have something to talk about.

Gee, you must've just about
a million things to talk about.

Well sure, I have.

Thank you.

Waco, come here.

- Want you to meet my better half.
- Anything you say Duke.

Waco, this here is Molly, sit down, sit down.

- Good to see you Molly, how you been?
- Just fine.

- I, I don't believe I got your name.
- Waco, like in Texas.

That's very interesting.

How did they happen to name
you after a place in Texas?

Other way around, they
named the place after me.

- Oh, really?
- Biggest liar in the world.

- Tell her a lie Waco.
- Oh, h*, h*, h*. Well now let me see.

Oh, I never will figure
the time we all slept in one bed.

- Hiya, Linda belle.
- Why, you bowlegged hunk of nothing.

- How you doing Duke?
- Good, sit down, sit down.

- Yes sir, you know, here we were...
- Other beer.

Molly, I want you to meet an old,
old friend of mine, Linda Belle.

- How do you do?
- Howdy, Molly.

- It was a folding bed Molly.
- Why do you want make out for I'm so old?

Why, you've been hanging
around here since they fought Indians.

Oh, speaking about Indians,
that reminds me with a story.

You hear tell about the old Indian
custom of scalping white people?

Well, I introduced the custom of
white people scalping Indians.

Really?

Yes ma'am and the first occasion took...

place not more than a hundred
feet from where you're sitting.

- Well, maybe 200.
- Hiya Duke, what cooks?

Well, what do you know?
Lill and Carmencita, sit down, sit down.

- Yes sir?
- More beer.

You know, as I was saying...

- Molly, I want you to know Carmencita.
- How do you do?

- And Lilly.
- How do you do?

- Lill, this here is Molly.
- Howdy Molly.

Molly, as I was a saying, this
here injun seen me...

What you do with yourself this nights Duke?

But he don't know I got a moving I hope
to see, so he up with his tomahawk.

Say, what's the idea
of giving me the brushoff?

He up with his tomahawk and I threw
my bowie knife right straight at him.

- Duke, you old snakebite.
- Sit down, sit down.

More beer.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?
What do you think what's the matter?

Oh, I don't know what I
think what's the matter.

Well then, it doesn't matter.

I take a girl places, it's kind of
unusual she don't have a good time.

- I butted in.
- Oh, you did not.

Well, to tell you the truth Mr.Hudkins,
this isn't what I came out west for.

It's just that I've been
sitting on that bus for so long...

you, you don't
know how big this country is...

until you got to
cross it in a sitting position.

Then, I don't know, you came along,
and I just thought, maybe I'd have some fun.

Sorry you didn't.

I'm sorry too.

Would you like to have another chance?

All right.

Go tension.

- Oh, no, no, no. Wait till he pays off.
- Now...

Ones, dice.

Oh, little Joe, once.

- Four, we win.
- Win on four?

Yeah, you see, I'll explain later.

- How much money we got?
- We, we got 283 dollars.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Here we go.
- Coming out.

- 77 once, dice.
- Come on...

Come on buddy, you're holding
up the game, what it be?

sh**t the bundle.

- You mean all of it?
- Sure.

- A buck he's right.
- You got it.

Hey.

What, what's the matter?

- You going to start betting against it?
- Oh. Oh. Change my mind.

- Hold it fella.
- You got troubles?

No, I just want to tell you the house rules.

- Like what?
- Like we got a $25 limit here.

- Oh, since when?
- Hold it brother.

Pick up your money and let's play nice, eh?

All right.

Give me paper for this.

Why don't you let
the lady roll? Be a gentleman, eh?

- Molly sure, go ahead. Roll them.
- Well, I'll try my best.

sh**t 15 only.

- Yeah but how you know until you...
- Honest.

sh**ting five only.

sh**ting a buck.

- See?
- Don't ever leave me Molly.

Don't ever leave me.

You know, it really pays
to have a good time with you.

Oh say, what time is it? Maybe I'd
better be getting back to my bus.

Oh, it's early yet.

- Shot of Irish.
- Right, two?

No, no. I'll have,
I'll have cactus milk please.

- Eh?
- Cactus milk.

You ever see them milk a cactus?

How's about it?
How's about it? How's about it?

- How about what?
- My rye ginger ale.

- You didn't order any.
- Want to make something out of it?

Oh, no sir, Boy, you look too tough for me.

How you like to step outside?

- How you?
- Never better.

- Never better?
- No.

Hey, you pretty lucky, can't lose, eh?

You know, you ain't fooling me big boy.

You're just lucky on account of
your little girl makes you lucky.

Well, you got something there.

- Where is she?
- I took all his dough and flew the Coop.

What's you said?

I said she took all
my dough and flew the Coop.

Why don't you lend me that
lucky girl of yours for a few minutes?

- I'd like to win something.
- You don't want to do that.

You want to go out and find
your own little old lucky girl.

That's just what I said. Why don't
you lend me that lucky girl?

You can't lose.

Oh, he's all right. Just having a good time.

- So am I Duke.
- So am I.

Well...

Well...

What's the matter?

Are you all right?

- You want a glass of water?
- Jeepers, what was that?

Cactus milk.

Well jeepers, what was in it?

Tequila, applejack, gin and cactus milk.

- Jeepers.
- Gosh, really had me scared.

Shaking like a leaf, give
me another shot of Irish.

- Right, anything for you Lady?
- Cactus milk.

- Eh?
- Make it snappy.

Well, here's your fortune
you little old lucky fella.

I'll show you that little old lucky girl.

Come on, blow some luck on these for me.

- Come on.
- Hey, that's enough.

Are you all right honey?

See you later.

Thank you.

- We're not leaving, are we?
- Think we'd better.

Liable to be some rough stuff here tonight.

Heads up.

- You all right Duke?
- Ok.

My better half.

Well. Well, I think this is just about
the most interesting evening I've ever spent.

Oh, it was nothing.

You got the time?

You're Ok.

You married?

Well, if I was, do you
think I'd be doing this?

Why? What are you doing?

Well, this.

- You're not married?
- Of course not.

I don't want you to get the idea that
I've never been asked because I have.

What happened?

Oh, I just never
met the right fella, that's all.

- You married?
- No.

Of course, I don't want you to get
the impression I ever asked anybody.

- Why not?
- Don't believe in it.

Well, lots of people are
married, they seem to like it fine.

No, they don't.

They just make out they like it because
they're ashamed to admit they made a mistake.

I was just been
thinking I wish instead of this old...

hay wagon being here
I wish it'd been your horse.

We, we have landed on him
and gone riding someplace.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Riding through the night like the wind.

What, what your horse's name?

- Sammy.
- Sammy.

Well, that's a wonderful name for a horse.

Heigh-h* Sammy, heigh-h* Sammy.

- I got a horse too.
- No fooling?

What's his name?

- Gwendolyn.
- Gwendolyn?

- Must be a mighty fancy animal.
- Oh, she is.

She's white.

White all over except
for a little splotch right here.

- Nice.
- Yeah.

You should see her go
riding through the night.

Yeah?

I've never seen an eastern horse
yet that was any good for roping.

Gwendolyn can do anything.

- Oh?
- How high can Sammy jump for instance?

Well, I don't know. I...

Well, I don't mean it as any
reflection on Sammy of course but...

- Gwendolyn can jump ten feet.
- Holy smokes.

- Straight up.
- Can she run?

- She can even run backwards.
- Backwards?

- Well, not very fast of course.
- Oh?

Oh, she's wonderful.

Her, her nose is like velvet.

And her coat...

Is so soft.

And her eyes.

You ought to see her eyes, they're...

well like hamburgers.

Lady, that's a lot of
horse, where you keep her?

In my head.

She's the loveliest white
horse that ever was.

With that, that little splotch right here.

Of course, the only, the
only trouble with Gwendolyn is...

nobody can see her but me.

When did I ever meet a girl like you?

Where did I ever meet a fella like you?

I, I think we better go put me on my bus.

Let's go.

I, I think we better go.

- All right, let's go.
- Yeah, I think we'd better.

- We're early.
- Yeah, I guess.

I'm always early for buses, trains too.

- It's just the way I am.
- It's a good way to be.

If you ever come east to New York, where...

Oh sure, I will, you got a pencil?

- No I, I...
- Oh, well, I got one.

Plaza 33098.

Plaza 330...

- 0.
- 98.

98.

If you call about 6, I'll be there.

Oh, I may not be
heading east for a year maybe.

Oh well...

- Well, I'll be there if you call around 6.
- All right.

I wonder where my bus is.

- Maybe it's around back.
- Maybe if we'd ask somebody.

- Hey.
- What?

- My suitcase.
- Where?

In there, on the floor.

Do you suppose that bus
went and left before 10 o'clock?

- How do you know that's your suitcase?
- My pajamas are hanging out.

I always leave my pajamas hanging
out so I'll know which one is mine.

- Look it mister...
- Are you the lady with Rainbow tours?

- What happened to my bus?
- Well, here's your suitcase, they said...

Whose the idea of them going off
before 10 o'clock like they said?

Eh? 10 o'cl...

You must've been having
a right good time Lady.

What am I going to do?

Well, they said to tell you can catch
the bus when it gets to coming back.

- Back?
- Yeap, comes back through Gold City.

Gold City? We're playing there
Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Well, she can catch her bus
there Saturday, 8 A.M.

But I'll miss the
Columbia gorge, the pacific ocean...

the Puget sound.

- And the waterfalls of Seven Delights.
- Lots of folks is missed them.

Me and Waco, we're
driving to Gold City tomorrow.

All that ways across the country.
What do I get for it? Gold City.

Good night Lady, you got hay on you.

You just, you just don't
know Duke, how I've been...

counting on the waterfalls of Seven Delights.

Oh, they ain't anything.

Yeah I know, but when you haven't even
seen a waterfall with one delight...

Well, I guess I'd better go look for a hotel.

- May have a little trouble.
- What?

Oh, this here being a
rodeo town, hotels are usually full.

But you going to have my room.

- Oh, where will you sleep?
- I don't usually have much trouble.

- Duke.
- Eh?

I just wish all ladies in distress
could meet up with fellas like you.

Let's go.

I feel very conspicuous.

Hey Chief, a bottle and two glasses.

- How many?
- Give me two.

- It's a very nice hotel.
- Glad you like it.

We're giving up our room Waco.

- That's awfully nice of him.
- Yeah.

Well Duke I, I just can't tell you how
wonderful you've been and...

I'll help you.

- Oh, no, don't bother, I'll do this later.
- This side up.

Nice hanging closet here.

- Plenty of room.
- Yeah.

Well, it's just been
wonderful, you don't know how...

We'd better get the wrinkles out of these...

Oh no, I'll, I'll do it.

A swell chiffonier.

Plenty of drawer space.
Room for all your little things.

Come in.

Duke.

- Duke.
- Gee, you look beautiful.

- Duke.
- What's the matter?

Well, what do you think, what's the matter?

Well, I don't know what's the matter.

Just trying to kiss you.

Where you going?

I can sleep in the park, can't I?
All they got there is bears and hyenas.

There no park.

Stay here.
I'll get, I always drink by myself.

- Hop in, we're going to Gold City.
- Never mind.

- Oh come on, hop in.
- No, thank you.

- She's wacky.
- Why? Because she said no?

She ain't my type, too suspicious.

- Mighty pretty.
- She's wacky.

Got to admit Duke, I feel kind of
sorry for the poor little critter.

All alone, big heavy suitcase.

She don't want to ride with us.

- As far as I'm concerned, she can take her..
- Where, where is she from?

Oh, I don't know, New York City someplace.

Well, as the man said,
east is east and west is west.

And never the two should meet or something.

Shut up.

Hop in.

Thank you very much.

- I'll never forget the time...
- Clean up the tinware, will you Waco?

Oh, anything you say Duke.

Look it Miss Truesdale, is there
any good reason for you and me to...

sit around here insulting each other?

I insulted you Mr.Hudkins? I'm sorry.

Quit calling me Mr. Hudkins.

Anything else I could call you Mr. Hudkins,

would hardly be
appropriate for a lady to utter.

- Lovely night.
- Yeah.

Dishes all washed?

Well, they ain't exactly washed
but they won't draw flies, I guess.

- I remember way back...
- Time to bed down.

Hope you don't mind sleeping
on the same desert with me.

- He's pretty fresh, isn't he?
- Well, he's in the open air all the time.

Funny, last night for a while I...

thought he was just about the
nicest fellow I'd ever met.

He generally has
that effect on them at first.

Here Waco.

Go on, beat it.

Oh?

- What's the matter with him?
- Just showing off, that's all.

Jealous.

Easy boy. Oh Sammy.

Got yourself
all excited for nothing, didn't you?

Now, go on, relax.

Good night boy.

Aren't you going to put a rope on him?

How you like to have me put a rope on you?

- I wouldn't.
- Well?

- Well, I'm not a horse.
- What's the difference?

- Plenty.
- Not about a thing like that, there ain't.

Well, I guess it's all
in the way you look at it.

Anything that ties you down is no good.

Like a steady job or if I owned a ranch or...

Well, I thought every cowboy
wanted to own a ranch someday.

Every cowboy? Not me.

Think if I own a ranch, could I go
where I want when I want to or do?

Well, I guess not.

Think of instead of just Sammy, I
own 20 horses, I'd be in the horse business.

I don't like any business
except the one I'm in.

- What's that?
- Living the way I like to.

By myself.

Oh?

It's great, you ought to try it sometime.

No, I don't think so, sounds lonesome.

Maybe.

But me, I don't like ropes.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Say, say could you...

Sorry Sammy, but it's either you or me.

You're bigger.

What, what's that?

Sammy.

What you do with your
blanket, you doggone fool?

What's all the commotion?

Holy smoke.

Waco, Waco.

- Sammy sneezed, pack the car.
- By gum, I thought it was injuns.

Get going, we got to get to Gold City
and fast. Come on boy, get in the trailer.

Of all the silly...

Sammy, god bless you.

No respect for nothing,
stealing a horse's blanket.

Sammy sneezes, no breakfast, no lunch.

- Ain't you afraid you'll lose your bus?
- It doesn't come until tomorrow.

Never saw such a fuss made
just because a horse sneezes.

After all, it's just a cold in the nose,
I had plenty of colds in the nose.

- I'm sorry to kept you waiting for so long.
- I don't mind, it's just...

You got a pretty sick horse mister,
I thought first, maybe it was just a cold.

Maybe it is, I, I can't be sure yet.

- Easy.
- There's no use beating around the bush.

Maybe pneumonia started and maybe not.

If hasn't, he ought to be Ok.

But if it has...

well, there ain't much I can do.

I can't tell you yet just what the chances
are, I'll be taking X-rays and smears and...

Why won't you come back
here around 5 or 6 this afternoon.

Then either he'll be Ok or...

or we'll know, you got a fine horse mister.

Well, I'll be doing everything I can.

It's getting late Duke, better go.

Wish it was me that was sick instead of him.

I could tell him where it hurts, he can't.

Oh Duke...

was all my fault.

If anything should happen, I
don't know what I could do to...

It's all right Molly.

It's been nice knowing you.

- I was right about him.
- Eh?

- He's the most unusual man I ever met.
- Sure is.

He certainly is the
right fella for the right girl.

Yeah. Eh?

Hey Molly.

- I, I'm not leaving just yet.
- You better.

No, you go on. I'll stay here,
anything happens, I'll let Duke know.

- Molly, I want to give you a little advice.
- What?

- Go home.
- I'm going home tomorrow.

- Go now.
- Why?

Molly, I'm an old man and I like you.

But I know Duke and I know
women, all kinds, I know your kind.

You're a fine gal, but if you don't watch
out, you're going to get your heart broke.

Love is the best thing there is, I guess.

But you're barking up the wrong cowboy.

Any fella that can
love a horse can love a girl.

Bet you.

Bet you.

Watch for the twist down now.

Here comes the fall to the
ground and he's put him down.

Try to watch him he don't stick
down his head, he ain't too trusting.

- What time is it?
- Oh, you got another hour.

- What time is it?
- Oh...

Ten after 4.

Then we ain't got another
hour, he said 5, didn't he?

Ok, Ok.

And kind of watch him you don't drift
to the left. Just keep an eye on him.

I'll handle him, thanks.

It's nothing at all
Duke, I'm sorry about Sammy.

- I heard about Sammy.
- Yeah?

- When you going to know?
- Pretty soon.

Here's your next bulldogger, Duke Hudkins.

High mounted well, placing his
horse in now behind the barrier.

Time is ready, flags going up.

- You ready?
- Unchain him.

Duke, Duke...

- Duke.
- What is it?

- Sammy's...
- Sammy's what?

- Sammy's...
- There he goes and watch this one.

Here he goes, take the jump and the...

Jeepers, Duke.

- Sammy's what?
- He's Ok.

- Ok?
- The vet says he's going to be all right.

- Waco, he's Ok.
- Glory be.

Well, don't start crying Molly,
there's nothing to cry about, come on.

Oh, see Slim gets his horse, will you Waco?

That Humboldt is a good doctor.

Sure got Sammy feeling frisky in a hurry.

He's the man I
want to see if I ever get sick.

Come on.

Hiya boy.

Waco says to tell you he's waiting
for you down at the restaurant.

Got so hungry, he couldn't wait no more.

- Oh, friend of mine.
- How do you do?

- How do?
- Have you a vacancy?

- Haven't got a thing Lady.
- Oh dear. I was hoping you might have.

- Yeah.
- It's just for overnight.

- You sure?
- Oh yes, you see, my bus...

Well, I got a party coming into
number 12 about noon tomorrow.

- Oh, I'd be out by then.
- Ok.

Of course, if you change
your mind, I can't help you.

Oh, no. You see my bus, I have to...

Yeah, it's the fifth one
over, right next to Duke's.

- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Want go downtown and have some supper?
- You mean right now?

- Oh, Waco's waiting and...
- Well, I thought we might eat later.

- Oh.
- Hey Duke.

Where you been? I been a waiting.

- I'm not hungry.
- You look hungry.

- We're going to eat here.
- Where?

Right here, going to have a little
home cooked dinner for a change.

- Yeah.
- Is there a grocery store near here?

No.

Find her one, will you Waco?
I got to get cleaned up.

- Oh, I'll go get the car.
- I'll be with you in a minute.

I want four nice lamb chops please.

Your a move.

Ah, look, could I have four
nice lamb chops please?

Josephine, well, I'll be
gosh darned, you sure look different.

- Well I, my name is not Josephine.
- You changed your name too, eh?

- My gosh, you kids.
- You think I'm somebody else.

- What's the matter?
- Nothing, he thinks I'm somebody else.

- Well, she's not.
- Oh.

Look, could I please have four nice
Iamb chops? I'm in an awful hurry.

Sure.

Lamb chops, what are you
going to get for Duke?

- They're for Duke.
- Oh, he won't eat them.

No, most certainly will, I fix
them in a very special way. Excuse me.

And I don't care how you fix them,
he's liable to throw them at you.

Not me. I'm not his better half, not yet.

- Hey, what about it? I'm hungry.
- Not yet.

You look pretty, right pretty.

I might as well tell you Duke,
I don't approve of this whole thing.

- What whole thing?
- You going over there for dinner and all.

- Well, a man's got to eat, don't he?
- Not like this, he don't.

I tell you that little gal
over there means business.

So do I.

Listen Duke, you're a wild horse
and you ain't never been busted.

But that don't mean that
you ain't never going to be.

- Oh, don't worry.
- Oh, she ain't for you.

Remember what you told me?

Women is like socks, you
got to change them regular.

- This gal is different.
- All ready.

This gal is different
and you're going to find it out.

You sound like a wife.

Come in.

- Would you like to sit here?
- Why? Supper ready?

Yes, but I thought we might
have our c*ck here.

Oh?

- Smells good, what do we got?
- You'll see.

Well, here's to you.

- What is it?
- It's tomato juice.

Oh.

- It don't taste like it.
- It's the way I prepare it, with lime juice.

- It's good this way, isn't it?
- Yeah, if you like tomato juice.

- Oh, you hungry?
- Well, to tell you the truth, yes.

Oh, let's start then.

This is your place, here.

Hors d'oeuvres?

- What's the matter?
- Lamb chops.

Yes.

- I never eat lamb chops.
- But they're good.

- Come on, let's go downtown and get a steak.
- Oh, try them.

But I don't like them.
I never ate them, that's why.

Why?

I don't like them, I like steak.

- Hey, they're all right.
- You see?

- They tasted just like steak.
- Sure.

Maybe we ought to
eat outside, more light out there.

- What's so wonderful about light?
- Nothing, except I just bit my thumb.

- Too bad we haven't got some beer.
- Yes, isn't it?

- You got everything.
- Thank you.

- Got any more meat?
- No, no but you can have one of mine, here.

Now, eat your salad Duke, it's good for you.

I'll get the dessert.

- Apple pie?
- No.

- Rice pudding?
- No, something else.

- I don't like anything else.
- Why?

Because I never eat
anything else, that's why.

Well, I hope you like this,
because it's a surprise.

- What is it?
- Well, it's a kind of a surprise for me too.

I got it at the store, it's called
sunset on the desert special.

- Made me think of you.
- Of me?

- Demitasse now or later?
- Oh, it don't matter much.

It looks just wonderful, doesn't it?

It's good.

It's good.

Duke?

You know, all we've been together and...

All the fun we've had and everything and...

there's about a million
questions I'd like to ask you.

Oh.

Oh my, Duke.

Here, here, take
some of this, maybe it'll loosen it.

Oh.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

- Gee. Gee, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.

It's just that...

I wanted everything so fancy for you.

Let's...

Let's get the dishes washed and then...

- Maybe we can talk and...
- Yeah.

This will only take a minute.

Hurry up slowpoke.

Duke, what's the matter?

- Plenty, I'm drunk.
- What?

I'm drunk, haven't had
a drink all day and I'm drunk.

Well, gee whiz, I thought...

I know what you
thought, but you thought wrong.

I guess you don't want any more
than any other girl wants.

But you come to the wrong
place, I'm not built that way.

- Built what way?
- I'm not going to get hook, that's what way.

Maybe this sort of thing works where you
come from, but it don't work around here.

- I...
- Leave me alone, quit trying to hook me.

- I'm not trying to...
- I got my own way of living...

And I'm not going to
have anybody changing it.

- I don't want...
- And don't start crying.

Who's crying?

Just let me say it, I want to get hook...

I'd let you hook me,
I don't know of nobody that...

But I don't want to get hook.

Hey look, Molly.

- Oh, hello.
- Gee.

How are you kid? Say, what goes on with you?

I simply missed the bus, it can happen.

Oh, gosh honey we were
so worried, you've no idea.

Yeah, we even put
through a long distance call.

Yeah, I paid.

Well, I hope you're none the
worse for wear kid, like they say.

- Just what do you mean by that Mr. Lambert?
- Nothing.

- My goodness I never saw such touchy people.
- Come on Molly, come on over here.

- Molly, you got to tell me everything?
- Well, there's nothing to tell.

Oh sure, I bet you could
talk all the way home.

- Well, I'm not going to.
- All aboard, all right folks.

Step on it, here we go.
Plenty of things to do, plenty to see.

- Still at it, isn't he?
- You have no idea.

All right, come on. Recess is over.

Come along. Move along. In you.
Bought a little flower there, eh?

All right folks, here we go. Everybody up.

You all right Joe? Let's take it away.

All good things must come to an end.
Yes sir, that's right, so let's face it.

And until we meet again,
folks, remember one thing...

♪ There's no place like home,
there's no place like home ♪

♪ And though it's very humble,
there's no place like home. ♪

I must say, this is my
favorite part of the whole trip.

Remember Molly, if you ever get stuck for an
extra female some nights,

- you've got my number, haven't you?
- Yes.

- Well, goodbye now.
- Bye.

Molly.

- Gee.
- Hello Malcolm.

Oh, thank you, that's sweet.

Gee.

Hello baby, welcome home.

- Bob.
- Gee.

Come on, my cab is parked outside.

- I guess I was here first Bob.
- I said, my cab was parked outside.

- I don't care.
- Listen, fat boy.

- Who do you think you're pushing?
- You're going to get worse than a push...

- If you don't give me that bag.
- Bob, everybody is looking please.

- You touch me once more...
- Give me that bag.

I've never liked you Bob,
you may as well know it.

Listen, maybe you can't understand English,
I said my cab was double-parked outside.

I don't care if it is double-parked,
you shouldn't have brought it.

- Shouldn't have brought my cab?
- No, your big, yellow taxicab.

Look, my cab isn't yellow and
when I toot, get out of the way.

- Break that up.
- Oh, hello Bob.

Bob, just a minute.

Now listen, we're all going
together or else I shall go by myself.

But I was here first.

What are you doing here? I thought you...

I know what you
thought but you thought wrong.

- Just a minute.
- Well...

I, I met him out west.

You, you better put me down Duke.

I...

I want to introduce you to my friends.
Mr. Hudkins this is Mr. Stone.

- How you do?
- Howdy.

- Mr. Hastings.
- Hello.

- And Mr. Starkey.
- How do you do?

Molly, who is this guy?

- Well, I just told you...
- Who are you?

Well I, I don't know.

- Duke, what are you doing in New York?
- I just came to take you back.

- Now?
- Pretty soon.

Tour number 49 leaving for Kansas
City, Tulsa, Phoenix and Los Angeles.

Now.

- Just a minute Buffalo Bill.
- Bob...

- I wish you'd let me take care of my own...
- Where do you think you are, on the prairie?

Why no, I...

Duke.

- And have a nice trip.
- Just a minute, I'm not going anyplace.

What's the matter with you? Are you crazy?
Haven't I anything to say about this?

I can tell you one thing, I'm
certainly not going to get on any old bus.

I just got off a bus.

As a matter of fact, I don't
even know whether I should be...

speaking to you after the things that you...

No, honest Duke...

I mean it. If you want to sit down
and talk things over for a few minutes...

that's one thing, but I,
I'm not getting on any bus.

Now look, if you...

You're certainly mistaken
Duke, that's all I've got to say.

Hello, hello, hello, hello. Folks, I'd
like to have your attention for a minute.

You're going to have mine for the next 14
days so it isn't asking for too much, is it?

Even if I change my mind, even
if I wanted to go back with you...

- I, I couldn't, I'd lose my job.
- That's all right, I got a job for you.

- Eh?
- I divorced Waco.

I got an idea you don't like me. Well,
I'll grow on you brother, yes they grow.

- Howdy partner, glad to see you.
- Hello.

We'll be leaving in about two minutes folks.

So don't get impatient, just as
anxious to get started as you are.

Yes sir, in about five seconds...

we'll be off with the smoothest,
most comfortable ride you ever had.

Yes sir, smoothest ride you ever had and
I'm the boy who's going to tell you about it.

Ok Major, let her go, contact.