01x06 - Midnight Snack att*ck/Hot Pearl-tato

[bunniefuu]

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪ - [screaming]

kids: ♪ Will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ While milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

[screaming]

♪ ♪

kids: ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling, you'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪ [toilet flushes]

[whistling tune]

[thunder booms]

[upbeat music]

- Scrambled eggs?

- [squealing]

Whoop. Whee!

- Those eggs sure can scramble.

Maybe I'll just have some plain bread.

- It's full of fiber.

[chuckles]

- I'm sticking to Coral O's.

[screams]

- [grunting]

This tastes worse than a cold prairie patty.

Ooh.

- Yeah, disgusting.

- Attention campers, please report to Lake Yuckymuck

for slap line fun time.

campers: Slap line fun time!

Yay!

- Bunch of filthy brats.

[grunting]

[vacuum whirs]

[foghorn blares]

[sighs]

Oh, computer assistant. I'm home.

- Hello, Mr. Plankton. How was your day?

- The usual-- serving slop to slobs.

How's my Krabs clone coming along?

- [sighs] So far, it's a failure.

- Eh. Let me guess.

The Frankenwich is a second-rate failure too.

- I wouldn't say that.

- Really?

- I'd say it's a first-rate failure.

- [groans]

[grunts]

Ugh! No matter.

I still have my mind-bending vending machine.

The Bender Vender. [laughs]

[grunting]

[buttons beep]

[laughs]

[dramatic music]

What?

Come on, you stupid invention.

Work!

- Yikes. - [grunts]

[groans]

My mutant cream filling will transform

those fool campers into mindless drones.

First, I'll take over this camp and then go to college,

get my bachelor's degree in world domination in science,

and then take over the world!

[laughs]

Yes, that's it.

Eat, you fool. Eat!

[laughs]

Bow down before me, minion.

- [chomp] - [screams]

Curses.

There must be some simple way to world domination.

Maybe an equation, a theory-- no, that's not it.

Perhaps a code?

- A secret formula?

- Secret formula? Pfft.

Don't be ridiculous.

[grunts]

[wails]

- Whoa, slap line fun time!

- [laughs]

Yah! [laughs]

- Yee-haw!

Hi-ya! Hi-ya!

Hoo-yah!

- Banzai! - One at a time!

- Sorry, Mr. Tentacles.

I love you. - What?

- Watch out, y'all.

Here comes my bronco bustin' bulldogger!

[shouting]

- Ah!

- [babbling, grunts]

[both scream]

- Nice one, Sandy.

[whistle blows] - All right, campers.

Dinner time.

[indistinct chatter]

- Dinner can wait. Back to slap line.

[giggles]

both: Whee!

[grunts]

[stomach growls] - Ooh.

I'm getting pretty hungry.

- I could eat. [both yelp]

- Hello? Mr. Plankton?

We missed dinner.

- Eh, here's some mustard.

Now b*at it.

- Aww.

- Karen, I'm going to pick up some take-out food.

- What's wrong with the camp food?

- What, are you kidding? Stuff'll k*ll you.

[grunts, wails]

[computer shuts down]

- Eee.

- [grunting] - Huh?

- I have an idea.

Let's sneak in the canteen and grab some food.

- But isn't that against the rules?

- You poor, naive sponge.

There is rules-rules, and then there's stomach rules.

[chuckles]

- [grunting] It's locked.

- I have my breaking and entering merit badge.

[both yip]

Find anything good?

- Nope, just this empty can of Kelpo.

- That's weird.

It wasn't empty when I found it.

[burps]

- There must be some snacks around here somewhere.

both: Ooh.

- A sunken kitchen.

Ooh, there's even more kitchen down here.

- Hey, Mr. Krabs. How's it going?

Ooh, look at you.

[laughs]

- [yelps] [computer starts up]

- Oh, if we only knew where Plankton keeps the real food.

- Greetings, young campers. I can help you find some food.

- [gasps] SpongeBob, the roller skate is haunted.

- Oh, ghosts aren't real, Patrick.

It's a magic roller skate.

- Here.

both: [yelping]

[dramatic music]

Wow.

- That looks like food we can actually eat.

[laughs]

[sweeping music]

No!

Why must I always be denied?

- This is how Mr. Plankton does it.

[grunts]

both: [grunt]

- Uh, guys?

- Ah! - [laughing]

- Thank you, magic roller skate.

- I wonder if I should have told them

about the side effects.

both: [chomping]

[burp]

- [gasps]

both: We're hideous.

Yeah!

We're monsters, we're monsters, we're monsters.

- Would you two be quiet? I am trying to sleep.

What the--oh, good.

It's just a nightmare.

- [chomping]

Hey, what happened to my mutating snacks?

- Oh, two adorable little campers

dropped by and bought all of them.

- [gags]

I've got to find those campers before it's too late.

Karen, lower the Plankto-scope.

- The what?

- The periscope. I renamed it last week Tuesday.

[dramatic music]

[Plankto-scope beeping]

girls: [scream]

- [laughs]

- Oh, if Krabs finds out I mutated his campers,

I'll be fired and I'll never go to college!

I created those dopes.

Now I just need to make an anti-dope.

Hee-hee. [whimpers]

Hmm...

[yelps, screams]

[growls]

Ow!

One last chance.

Yes!

I've actually created something that works.

[crying]

Yeah. [laughs]

[grunts]

Time to un-mutate some mutants.

[laughs]

- [humming]

both: Hi, guys. - Huh?

campers: [screaming]

[seahorses neighing]

- Yeah! [laughter]

campers: [screaming]

- Simpleton spotted.

[coughing]

- [roars]

- Huh? Aww!

Cute!

[rock music]

- [laughing]

- Hi, Sandy.

- Hoo-whee, SpongeBob.

What happened to you?

Y'all go prancing in a patch of poison kelp?

- We're trying out a new look!

both: Whoo-hoo!

- Ooh, doggy!

Nice noodling, SpongeBob.

- I've got you now.

- Flying squirrel at :.

- Oh, no. - Sorry.

[determined music]

- [grunts]

Can somebody spot me, bro?

both: [grunting, screaming]

- Now where did those grotesque g*ons go?

[dramatic music]

both: [laughing]

Aha!

Time to target those tushies.

- Huh?

Aww, we're not hideous anymore.

- [laughing]

Ooh-oop!

You'll never believe it, Karen.

Those nitwit campers are back to normal

and Krabs never noticed a thing.

- Oh, that's wonderful, Mr. Plankton.

- This one's going in the win file.

[laughs] - Yay. [laughs]

- [blows]

Uh-huh.

♪ Victory dance ♪

[screams]

Put me down, you fool!

- [singing indistinctly]

- [cooing]

- Hm?

germs: [squealing]

- Ew, this money's covered in kid germs.

Papa will see you later, Pearly-kins.

Who needs a bath?

Precious little babies need a bath.

[objects crashing]

[gasps]

- [laughing] - What a mess.

I can't leave you alone.

We better find you a babysitter.

Now, which one of these campers can I con into--

I mean, convince to babysit you?

[quirky music]

both: [laughing]

- [grunting]

- [sighs]

- Hey, Camp Master Krabs, I can finally tie

an oysterman's half hitch bubble line slip bend knot.

[choking]

- Sorry, kid, but I'm a little busy right now.

- [inhales] - I have to find a sitter.

- Oh, I'm a great sitter.

Oh.

See? [wind whooshes]

- [groans]

That's nice, but I don't think you're babysitting material.

- Oh, I love babysitting.

Just between you and me, I used to be a baby.

- No thanks, camper.

I need someone more responsibler than you.

- Casholi, madame? - Oh!

Mmm. - Hmm...

Those campers in the yacht cabin are rich.

They must be trustworthy.

[clears throat]

Ow! [chuckles]

Greetings, Counselor Upturn.

Could you look after me beloved baleen baby for the day?

- Mm, I don't think-- - That it would be a problem?

That's fantast-er-ic.

Just be sure to give Pearl her air bottle on time

or she can get, you know, a little air slappy.

- [laughs]

- And make sure you don't give Pearl to SpongeBob!

- Would you take care of this for me, Regigilled?

- Oh, I'm so sorry, miss,

but I don't wash windows or sit babies.

[grunts]

- Oh. - [babbling]

- [giggles]

- Eww. Ugh.

- Oh, Missy.

You really do have the strangest taste

in fashion accessories.

- She's not an accessory. She's Mr. Krabs'...

[flatulence] Ugh, progeny.

That's not a teething ring.

[beads clattering]

- [burps]

all: [yelping]

Ugh. You, my dear,

are a little too crass for our cabin.

You belong somewhere with no manners at all--

someplace uncouth.

- [grunts]

- Well played, young Harvey.

You've survived the cardboard boxes of doom.

But can you conquer the stairs of procrastination?

[knock at door]

Excuse me.

We are engaged in a life-or-death game of

"Escape from Mom's Basement," deluxe edition.

- Well, now you are playing Hot Pearl-tato.

- Does it come with instructions?

Ew! - Yes!

Don't give her to SpongeBob!

- Hmm.

- [giggles]

- It would appear our tournament

has gained a new player.

You may roll when ready, young basement dweller.

[playful music]

[together] Oh.

- Holy hit points.

The newbie's rolled a .

- [whimpering]

- Child appears to be in some kind of distress.

- [sighs]

- I hope that diaper is two-ply.

[screams] - [laughs]

- A critical hit!

Could you watch her for me?

Our basement has a flooding issue.

Oh, and don't give her to SpongeBob.

[anchovies meeping]

- Num-num. [chomps]

[anchovies meeping in panic]

- [gags]

- Of course I'll watch her for you.

And I'll make sure she has her bottle.

Don't worry. I won't give her to SpongeBob.

[laughs]

- Ugh! - Hi, guys.

Guess who came for a visit?

- Sorry, SpongeBob, we're busy playing chess and somehow,

Patrick has won games in a row.

- I love chess.

It's so gooey and melty. It's great on pizza.

- That's cheese. Not chess.

- Oh.

That's why my sandwich tasted funny.

- Okay.

- [playing clarinet off tune]

Get out.

- Oh, stop.

Mr. Tentacles is such a kidder.

[clarinet playing] - [laughs]

- Oh, Pearl really likes your imitation

of a dying manatee, Squidward.

- It's called jazz!

♪ ♪

- [whimpering]

Isn't she the cutest little beluga-wuga?

- Why don't you take your little beluga-wuga

out for a walk?

Hmph!

- [cooing] - [panting]

Whew, you're getting heavy.

I got to think of a different way to carry you around.

Nope.

No.

Ah. [grunts]

Thank you.

[blows] - Bye-bye.

- [shouts, grunts]

How do, Camper SpongeBob? - Oh, hi, Narlene.

- What you got in the buggy?

- Oh, that's little baby Pearl.

- Hm, that's a big old baby.

I could just eat her right up!

- [gasps]

- [groans]

- Someone's getting a little air slappy.

Time for her air bottle.

Ooh, better check the temperature.

Oh, now where am I going to get more air?

- Don't you fret, SpongeBob.

Your old pal Narlene has just the thing.

[grunts]

I happen to have a vintage bottle of air right here.

[blows] - [coughs]

Oh, what luck.

[bell dinging]

- [babbling]

- Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

- [babbling]

- [babbles]

[ding]

- [giggle] - [grunts]

- [babbles]

- Here you go, youngin.

- Narlene, how can I ever repay you?

- Oh, don't you fret none, SpongeBob.

I'll just take one of these.

[grunts] - [gasps]

[ding]

- This will be my sunny go-to-meeting tooth.

- Okay, Pearly-wearly.

Time to breathe your num-nums.

Oh, hi, Nobby.

Nobby?

[grunting]

Where's Pearl?

- [babbles] - [laughs]

Don't you worry none, SpongeBob.

See, Nobby says little Pearl is just going off

on a little ramble through the forest.

- Oh, thank Neptune.

Little ramble through the forest?

[screams]

- That boy should not be watching children.

He's irresponsible. [grunts]

- [laughs] - [yipping]

- [panting]

- [burps]

- [growls] - Ah, that's a cheese mate.

- That's "checkmate!"

- Sandy, I lost baby Pea--

- Not now, SpongeBob!

- Okay, I'll go ask Squidward.

Mr. Tentacles, I took baby Pearl for a walk,

but she was too heavy, imagined a stroller,

time for bottle, out of the air.

Narlene... [blows]

Num-nums, but she was gone!

I lost baby Pearl!

- Yeah, that's nice. [grunts]

You lost Pearl?

Oh, Krabs is going to annihilate us.

both: Pearl! Baby Pearl!

- Hmm. Oh!

Pearl loved those weird sounds you make.

Try playing some more. - It's called jazz!

Hmph.

[playing clarinet off tune]

[Pearl giggling]

[oysters caw]

- She's that way.

[laughs]

[panting]

- [babbling]

- Pearl, there you are. Come to SpongeBob.

- [grunts]

[groans]

- Oh, no! She needs her air bottle.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- Oh! Hmm?

Ah.

- [screams, grunts]

both: [grunting]

[screaming]

- Whoa! both: [grunt]

- [playing clarinet off tune]

- [growls]

- [laughing]

both: There she goes. [panting]

- Gotcha, you little wiggle whale.

both: [yelp, grunting]

[bell dinging]

- Ooh!

both: [screaming]

[heroic music]

- Huh?

[screams]

- [cooing]

- [groans]

both: [snoring]

- [babbling]

Whee-ooh!

[grunts]

[sea moose moos]

- [singing]

- Great work, Camper Upturn.

This babysitting badge is well-deserved.

Ooh.

[horn blares]

- How vile.

- [babbles]

- And as for you two,

instead of sleeping all day,

you should be more responsibler,

like Missy here.

- Hmph!

- Bye-bye!

- [laughs] Cheese mate.

- [screaming] - [laughs]

♪ ♪