05x03 - Tassels in the Air

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, Thaddeus,

I have the most marvelous
surprise for you.

For me? Mm-hm.

We're going to have
the whole house redecorated.

Oh, but, Maggie,

we just had the whole house
redecorated.

But that's not the point.

It's a political move.

You see, Omay, the famous
Parisian interior decorator,

has just opened
an office in town.

Well, Luella Pindle thinks
he's about the last word.

Now, when Luella finds out
he's done our house,

she'll think we're really
people of quality.

It may mean
we'll get into Who's Who.

You might be invited
to join the golf club.

Maggie, do you realize

before we came into
all this money

I was a letter carrier?

Golf club.

[SCOFFS]

Yes, madam, this is Omay.

[HAMMER BANGING]

Who?

Oh, Mrs. Smirch.

Yes, how do you do?

How are you?

[HAMMER CONTINUES BANGING]

I'm sorry, madam,

but some clumsy men
are working in the corridor.

Would you please speak louder?

[BANGING]

[YIPPING]

[YELPS]

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, could you please
come to my office,

uh, say, at : ?

Oh, thank you. I'll be there.

Thank you so much.

[HAMMER CONTINUES BANGING]

[GROANS]

I'm a king. Now crown me.

You're lucky.

[CHUCKLES]

You guys don't get to work,
I'll crown you.

Get it outta here.

[YELPS]

[SHRIEKS]

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

Come on.

Quiet! Quiet!

What's all the fuss,
mademoiselle?

Name of a pig.

How's it possible to make
so much noise painting?

You don't know us guys.

We make noise
stuffin' a mattress.

[GROANS, WHINES]

[GROANS, BARKS]

Hold him.

LARRY: Moe, hold his chin.

[BARKING]
Tickle his chin. Hurry up.

Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[BARKING] Here, kid.

[STAMMERS]

Easy. Easy. Easy.

[WHIMPERS, GIGGLES]

See? He don't mean nothin'.

Those tassels drive him nuts.

When he was a baby, somebody
tickled him with a p*ssy willow.

This is the only thing'll
bring him out of it. See?

[HUMS] [SPEAKING FRENCH]

Fou on you.

[BARKS]

Easy, kid.

Thank you.

Hey, you.

Who, me?

MAN: Yeah, you. Come here.

It's the boss.

Show a little interest
in your work.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

What's the trouble, boss?

The tenants are all kicking
for signs on their doors.

We'll have to use
these stencils temporarily.

Okay. Wait a minute.

They're all in order.

Now, put 'em on
just as they are.

These go on this side.
These go on that side.

It's a cinch. Heh-heh-heh.

These go on this side.

These go on that side.

That's right. Make it snappy.

Okay. These go on this side.
These go on that side.

These go on this side.

These go on that side.

These go on this side.

These go on that side. Right.

Hey!

We gotta get goin'. Here.

Put these stencils on the doors
on the left side of the hall.

You take the right side.

Where are you goin'?

I'm gonna get my brush.
I'm the period man.

Which is the left side?

That's the left.

Which is right?

The one that's left.

That's right.

No, that's left. Th-that's--

[BARKS]

Well, boys, there's
a pretty good morning's work.

How about some lunch?

That's a good idea.
Where'll we go?

Let's try the Ritz.

Oh, I'm gettin' tired
of the Ritz.

How about the Waldorf?

I'm tired of both those places.

Let's go to Biltmore.

Have you got a quarter on you?

I had three cents when I come in
this morning.

Somebody borrowed it from me.

Immegay the altsay.

LARRY: Eepkay rightshay on.

Hey, what are you guys doin'?
Talking behind my back?

Nobody's talking
behind your back.

That's pig Latin.

Sure. Anybody can understand it.
It's very simple.

Well, I can't and I'm simple.

BOTH: Now, listen...

Uh, you tell him.

My name is Moe. How are you?

Fine, thanks. I--

My name is Moe.
In pig Latin, that's Omay.

LARRY: My name is Larry.

Now, what's that in pig Latin?

Omay.

[GROANS]

It's Arrylay.

Boy, are you umbday.

Oh, you mean I'm Umbday
in pig language?

You're umbday in any language.

Oh, thank you. Hee-hee.

Now I'll explain it
so even you can understand it.

[YELPS]

Now, follow me.

Larry, Arrylay.

Moe, Omay.

Curly...

Curlicue.

CURLY:
Hold him. Hold him. Hold him.

CURLY: Hold him. Hold--

Hold him. Hold him..

[GASPING]

Omay?

Omay?
Oh, you're wise to it too, eh?

Omay's inside. I'm Umbday.

Come right in.

We even wasn't expecting
any company.

Uh, Omay?

Sure.

MOE: I'm Omay.

MAGGIE:
Oh, I'm so glad to find you in.

I mean to ask you about...

[GROWLING]

[SHRIEKING]

Look out, lady.

[GROWLING] Brush.

Get the ticklers.

[MAGGIE SHRIEKS]

[SHRIEKING]

[SHRIEKING]

Easy, now. Easy.

[WHIMPERS, GROWLS]

[BARKS]

[MOANS]

[PANTS]

See? He don't
mean any harm, lady.

He's a little tetched
in the head about tassels.

Oh. Now, what can we do for you?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Ah, many thanks.

Yes?

What's the meaning of that?

Don't explain. I--

I'm giving up my lease
right now.

Oh, where are those guys?

Larry,

Curly, Moe!

Excuse us, lady.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

What are you yellin' about?
What's the meaning of that?

Don't explain. You're fired.

Now, come into my office
and get your pay.

Aw, give us another chance.

I'll give you
a chance all right.

[SCREAMING]

[THUDS, GLASS BREAKS]

I think you better tell her

we'll take that job.

When did he move his office
to the basement?

A week ag--

[BOTH SHRIEKING]

Easy.

Don't ever do that.

Must be a shortcut.

All right, boys,
let's start on that table.

Gentlemen, you're not gonna
paint that table.

Why, certainly.

Oh, but you can't do that.

It's a rare antique.

What, that old thing?

It once belonged to Louis XVI.

Oh, secondhand, eh?

Go on, now.
Take a spin around the pantry.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Gosh, I'd sure like to help.

You know, I haven't had
a paintbrush in my hand

in years.

Sure, you can help.

Go on out there and mix us
a batch of spotted paint.

Oh, swell. Swell.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, look what you're doin'.
Now, why don't you be careful?

All right, I'm sorry.
Come on, snap it up.

The old lady's gonna
have a card game.

All right.

[GRUMBLES]

Hey, wait a minute.
What's the idea?

Don't get excited.
Don't get excited.

[WHINES]

Hey, look. Look.

I ain't got time to look.

I'm busy. My hand, my hand.

Oh, my error. Go on, get busy.

Hey, what's the idea?
What's the idea?

Now, wait a minute.
What's the--?

It's all a mistake.
He didn't mean anything.

All right,
but it'll happen again.

Okay, we'll bury the hatchet.

Oh, no.

I mean shake hands and make up

Go on. Be a sport.

Well, all right.

See? He starts all over again.

Wait a minute.
Take it easy, now.

Oh, boy. Lunch.

There we are. Thanks.

You can go. We'll eat our lunch
while we work.

Come on.

Hey, why don't you watch
what you're doin'?

Oh, I'm sorry.

But I don't drink coffee,

so you can have mine.

[WHIMPERS]

Oh, a practical joker, eh?
I'm sorry.

I'll get you for this, Fine.

Wait a minute. Go on.
Get back to work.

You always stick up for him.
Go on, numbskull.

You guys'd watch
what you're doing,

you wouldn't make
so many mistakes.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, here we are.

And, oh, by the way,

you're gonna have a chance
to meet Omay the decorator.

He's going to call
this afternoon.

Really? Mm-hm.

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

My part's done.

How are you gonna get down
without spoiling the paint?

I got it. You carry me down.

Am I dumb. Hop up here.

Upsy-daisy. Yes, sir.

You're gettin' to be
a mental giant.

Thanks.

S-s-something went wrong.
Can I help it?

Oh, there's Omay.

Omay?

Yes. Come and meet him.

[GRUNTS]

Hi, Mrs. Smirch.

Omay, I want you to meet
Mrs. Pindle.

She is the one that said
that your work

is very recherché.

Oh, anybody's liable
to make a mistake.

Yeah-- Shut up.

Hold that.

Hi, Mrs. Pindle.

Meet my partner. Hello.

Get out.

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

MAGGIE: Well, that's that.

Beat it to that hallway, lady.
[SHRIEKING]

[GROWLING, BARKING]

He's mad.

[BARKS] [SHRIEKS]

[GROWLS]

Oh, save me, Omay,

from this idiot. [BARKS, ROARS]

Get rid of the tassel.
Get rid of it.

He's mad, I tell you. He's mad.

[BARKS]

[GROWLING]

Tickle his chin. [BARKS]

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

[SIGHS]

Thank you.

Ah, go on. Get some work done.

Here.

Hey, what about my hair?

I gave it back to you, didn't I?
Come on.

[GRUNTS]

There we are.

[LADIES SHRIEK]

We've got everything finished
except this room.

But you kids can go on
with the game.

You won't interfere with us.

Get back there and get busy.
Get that ladder up there.

Hmm.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[SHRIEKS]

What are you tryin' to do?

I thought it was golden bantam.

Get up there
and paint that cuckoo.

He'll be out any minute. Mmm.

Get up there.

[CUCKOOS]

[CUCKOOS]

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, Rembrandt, what's the idea?

I was paintin' the cuckoo,

but it won't be out
for another hour.

[CLOCK CUCKOOS]

[YELPS]

[CUCKOOS]

[CLOCK CUCKOOS]
I do hope I win today, dearie.

You know, I just remembered
I owe you from last week.

Mrs. Smirch.

LARRY: Okay?

Oh, let's see.

Spotted paint.

But I insist upon seeing
Mrs. Smirch.

Mrs. Smirch does not wish
to be disturbed.

Aha! Then-- Then she's in there.

Yes. [LAUGHS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Isn't that a hand?

Oh!

So this is what takes place.

This is a fraud.

Who are you?

[RIPS]

Something's goin' on here, boys.

It looks like something's
comin' off too.

[YELPS] Shut up.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[SHRIEKS]

Aha. I see it all now.

You have double-crossed me.

You sent these cheap painters

here in my place.

Are they paying you
a bigger commission

than I?

Get the idea?
That old dame's a crook.

Let's give her
the razzle-dazzle.

STOOGES: Right. Right.

Look out there.

Move fast now.
They'll be out any minute.

So you see, madam,
I am the original Omay.

Well, I never was so insulted
in my whole life.

Come, girls.

Get back. Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Shh.

Well, that's the last time

I'll ever come to this house.

I'll say so.
Of all the filthy places...

Hold it. Ready?

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

It'll be a bull's-eye.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

A bull's-eye, eh?

Yeah, but we got
the wrong bulls.

[♪]