01x01 - Slings and Arrows

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Outrageous Fortune". Aired: 12 July 2005 – 9 November 2010.*
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Series followed the lives of the career criminal West family after the matriarch, Cheryl, decided the family should go straight and abide by the law.
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01x01 - Slings and Arrows

Post by bunniefuu »

(SIGHS) You'll need to sort out
that thing with Falani for those
mag wheels.

Shh.

Oh, and, uh, will you tell Eric to
deliver those bloody cases of Scotch
to that guy?

Shh.

And the money for those phone cards,
it's, um... Where did I leave that?

Shh, shh.

Wolf, it's all under control.

Would you shut up and f*ck me?

No.

No, no. Not today.

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

We have a warrant to
search this address.

Make yourselves at home.

Pascalle, come on.
Pascalle, get up. Wake up.

Why?
Cops.

Again?
Yep. ]

Loretta, get up. We've got company.
(GROANS)

Van? Van, come on. Wake up.

Wake—

Shit.

So, what is it we've stolen
and hidden in the cereal (?)

Where's Van?
No idea.

Isn't it enough what you're
doing to my husband?

When was the last time you saw Van?

I wasn't wearing my wristwatch (!)

Some guys raided the home of an
Asian businessman, put an old lady
in hospital.

We got a description, and
one sounds a lot like Van.

Whatever you think of us,
we don't beat up old ladies.

Right, cos the Wests have
got a code of honour (!)

You got a warrant for my son?

I'd like him to assist
in our enquiries.

I'll let him know that when I see
him. I'll be in the shower if you
need me.

Where's Jethro?
Leave him out of it.

The description matched Van,
and with them being identical...

They're not.

I bloody can't tell them apart.

Jethro has nothing to do—

'Course not. He'll make
a good lawyer, I reckon.

Had the right lack of moral
guidance from his parents.

Jethro has nothing to do with this.

Then tell me where Van is.

(YELLS) Put that back, you bastard.
You can't go through my stuff.

A search warrant, by definition—

This pervert went through my stuff.

I was searching the drawers.

I found this book.
I started to leaf through it.

He drooled over it.

I only looked at a couple.
A couple of what?

Nothing.
Evidence, Constable?

In a manner of speaking.

Oh, shut up, freak.

What is this?

It's my future.

SHOWER RUNS

It's my portfolio.

Well, not all of it. Rene's
right — we need to do more.

Everything OK?
We're good. Who the hell is Rene?

My photographer.

He's brilliant. He needs $ ,
which is almost half of the $
he usually charges.

You take your clothes off for
this man and you pay him?!

I knew you wouldn't understand and
get bent out of shape. I'm doing
this because of you.

You're always saying how I need to
get off my arse and do something
with my life. This is me doing it.

Pascalle, dreaming
about being a model—

It is not a dream.

Rene says I have the bone structure
to go all the way, and he knows

because he took photos of Rachel
Hunter. What about my $ ?

You're not paying
that man another cent.

Daddy?

Sorry, love. I'm staying
right out of this one.

I'll see you there.

Looking forward to it (!)

Remember to tell Van I want a word.

It's the top of my 'to do' list.

Haven't you got better things
to do, Sergeant Judd?

You know my motto — 'Where there's
a crime, there's the West family.'
And today, that's just the start.

I want you to pick up
Jethro's cake after school.
Why do I have to?

I've got things to do, and
you walk past the bakery.

Why can't Useless do it?
Shut up.

Pascalle can't be
trusted with money.

I'd rather go to Dad's sentencing
than Jethro's stupid capping.

Too bad. Go to school, then
come home, we'll dress up nice

and celebrate your brother's success
as a loving family, whether you want
to or not.

(MOCKINGLY) 'Mr West, I'd love
to say I saw some sign of remorse,

'but sitting here on my bench — on
my big, fat, hairy, pimple-encrusted
arse —

'all I see is a career criminal
who's spent his entire life thieving
from honest blah blah f*cking blah.'

Don't.

What?

Treat it like it's a joke.

Corky said a year.

Out in nine months.

We've had worse, haven't we?

Yeah.

Good girl.

Do you know where
Van was last night?

No.

Corky's here.

Thanks, love.

It's not fair. I never get to go.

You don't wanna go, trust me.

But I could break down in
tears and abuse the judge.

That's why we have lawyers.

I'm feeling good about
this one, Cheryl.
That's good.

All the ducks in a row. Thanks
for the cheque, by the way.

You just stay beautiful for me, OK?

I will.

It may not happen overnight...

...but it will happen.
PHONE RINGS

Can you get that, love?

I'll go do this lawyer
shit with Corky.

OK. I'll do what I need to for
Jethro's thing. I'll see you at
the court.

Mum?
Yes?

It's for you.
Can it wait?

Not really.

It's Grandpa's neighbours. They say
his unit's kind of burning down.

♪ Find it hard to deny you,
reply to your call.

♪ You want from me, but
you don't want me at all.

All I did was put some
chips in the fat to fry.

And walked to the bloody shops?

I needed milk.

Guess I'll have to
live with you now.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on.

♪ I just had to walk away. ♪

♪ I want you to need
me like I needed you.

♪ 'Goodbye,' I cried.

Nice suit.

Thanks, Dad.

What are you doing here?

Being a loving and supportive son.

First time I've been to one of these
things. I can call it research.

Nice suit.

OK, you — school.

Shouldn't I stay and
look after Grandpa?

School. Pascalle, set Grandpa up.
He can live in the caravan.

Why do I have to do it?

Because I've got lots to do and
you spend all day watching soaps.

I was going to do stuff.

Don't go near that photographer.

Why can't I go to see Dad?

You've been before, you know what
they're like, and you need to look
after Grandpa. School!

All right, all right.

I like prison. Always
someone to talk to.

Where did you get to last night?

Oh, I crashed at Munter's.

We got raided again cos of you.

Yeah? Ow.

What happened to your eye?

Oh. (LAUGHS) I fell...

down.

Van, think really carefully about
what you say to me next.

Then we'll be here all day.

What's that supposed to mean?

Ignore Pascalle.

OK, so, I'm not the one
graduating dumb university.

The only university
you could graduate.

If you can tell me anything about
two blokes doing a home invasion
on some Asian guy's place,

then you need to, right now.

Nah.

You might wanna run down to the
station, tell Sergeant Judd that.

OK.

Oh, what about Dad's thing?

I'm going to Dad's thing.

Come on, Grandpa. Welcome
to your new home.

♪ He said so.

♪ He said I oughta stop it.

♪ He said I...

♪ He said I oughta buck it up. ♪

Got held up. I was with Grandad.

Where is he? Is he gone?
Yeah.

Bugger.
He said to say he'll see you soon.

What'd he get?

What?

Uh, four.

Four? Four years?

Minimum non-parole of three.

What about your f*cking ducks
— the ones in a f*cking row?

Look, Cheryl, there—

Don't you 'Look, Cheryl' me. You
said one year, out in nine months.

What about four bloody years?
We will be app—

My oath, you'll appeal it. You'll
appeal till you're blue in the
f*cking face. Now, piss off!

I'll call you.

Jesus. Four years. How
the f*ck am I gonna...?

CELLPHONE RINGS
I can come and stay
with you if you want.

Oh, f*ck it.

What is it, Pascalle?

Come home right now or I'll leave,
even if our house burns down too.

What's he doing?

He's calling me Grandma and
putting the moves on me.

It's Alzheimer's. He gets confused.

You should hear the stuff
he wants to do. It's sick.

Where's Van? Can he help you?

Oh, yeah. He's such a
big help (!) He just left.

Whatever.

Either you come home
right now or I'm gone.

' s SURF-ROCK TUNE PLAYS

Is there anything you want me to do?

Yeah — get your father out of jail.

Nah, you go back to work.
I'll see you later.

Look, it's just a stupid ceremony.
I can skip it if you want.

No, no. We all wanna be there.

Well, you know. I wanna be there.
The others don't have a choice.

Hey.

He'll be all right.

Yeah.

In Marlborough in —

Excuse me, I'm looking for Loretta
West. I'm her mother. It's a family
emergency.

I believe she's sick again.

Sorry?
Asthma.

She doesn't get asthma.

She's doing work experience
at the shelter.

No, that's Wednesdays. On Fridays
she goes to brainy school.

Sorry — where?

The one-day-a-week school
for gifted kids.

Isn't she on periodic detention?

I heard she was dead.

ALL LAUGH

It appears, Ms Darling, my daughter
hasn't been at Shadbolt High for
some time.

As Deputy Principal, can you shed
any light on why I didn't know?

Uh, no, I'm sorry, actually I can't,
Mrs West. But I can assure you
I will look into this

and I will put a stop to it.

Sometimes I think Loretta's
too smart for her own good.

I know what you mean.
Today of all days.

Jethro's capping.

You remember Jethro?

Yes. Yes, I do. I always
thought he'd go far.

So, is there anything else
I can, um, help you with?

No, it's fine. I'll find her.

Good.

QUIETLY: f*ck. f*ck.

Thank you very much.
Enjoy the movies.

Where is Loretta?

Isn't she at school?

Film festival section.

Our script is at an important
phase. We've got a problem—

What I don't understand is that
you're the brightest. Why do you
wag all the time?

Because school sucks
and it's pointless.

You could graduate.

I wanna be a film-maker.
You don't need an education.

Do you wanna end up like Pascalle?

God, no.

Jesus. This family will be
the death of me. Come on.

How'd it go with Dad?

Four. Out in three.

No way.

Yeah.

Most definitely way.

f*ck.

How the hell did you get
away with it for so long?

GROANING

Oh, Jethro. Oh.

(GASPS ORGASMICALLY)

(GROANS) ]

Look, this was years ago.

When Jethro was .

And now the time has come
for me to use the photos.

What do you want?

Never to go to school again.

QUIETLY: f*ck.

It's a raid. Hide the krugerrands.

I won't live with a pervert,
even if he is my grandpa.

I'm going to get my hair done. You
two are not leaving the house until
it's time to go.

I want you both looking
decent for your brother.

Easy for some.

Shut up.
What happened to Dad?

He got screwed — that's
what happened.

Four.

Four years?

What are we gonna do without
him for four years?

Where the hell did Van get to?

He said he had business.

Shit. Shit.

Oi. Judd was looking for you.

I don't know anything about it.

Hey, sorry to hear about Wolf.

What happened?

Four.

Four?

Shit.

Yeah. Still, life goes
on, eh? Here you are.

Hey, um, let's not run
this one past Mum, eh?

It's just between you and me, eh?

Yeah.

Hey, uh,

do you reckon she'll get lonely,

you know, with your
dad away for so long?

Eh?

You said two grand.
Yeah?

There's only here.

No! God. Maths, you see —
never my strong point. (CHUCKLES)

Good thing your mum takes
care of that side of things.

Yeah.

Oh, hey.

One other thing.

How much for this, do you reckon?

What is it?

It's a priceless Chinese relic.
From The Warehouse?

No, no. Serious. This could be
from, like, the Wong Dynasty, man.

The Wong Dynasty?

Yeah. You know, one of those
old Chinese emperors, you know?

bucks.
bucks?! This could be
worth millions, mate.

.
Yep. OK.

What happened to your eye?

Shut up.

Nothing.

WHISPERS: Hey. This could
be worth something.

That?
Yeah. Could be, like, an antique.

Could be ugly, is what it is.

Just take it.

LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS

Thought you said no one was here.

They don't arrive till Thursday.

It is Thursday, you d*ck!

No way.

QUIETLY: Um...

We're not gonna hurt you.

We're leaving now.

OK?

Hang on. What is this?

I found the job. I get more.
But you wouldn't have
done it without me.

But I found the job.

Only cos you helped
move their furniture in.

And it was my van,

which I have to get
panel-beaten cos of you.

I didn't run over the letter box.

I ran over it cos you
were crying like a girl.

Shut up. I didn't run out when
the going got tough, did I?

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

Don't!
BONE CRUNCHES

Ah!

(YELLS)

I could've died in there, man.

You shit your pants and ran off, but
she was, like, Bruce Lee in an old
woman's body.

It's not funny.

I just wanna say how
sorry I am about Wolf.

Yeah. Well, is there anything
else I should know about, Eric?
How do you mean?

Any jobs done in the wee while
that I should know about?

Not offhand.
Right.

What are we gonna do?
When?

Without Wolf.

We'll continue on the way we always
have, starting with the banking,
then I'm getting my hair done.

You're very brave.

I don't have any f*cking
choice, do I?

Right. I'll get on with it.

Hello, Mrs West.

Can I help you?

Sergeant Judd is not the
most discreet of officers.

Once he started talking about the
Wests... He was most flattering
about you.

Bless him. And you are...?

Tracey Hong. I'm sure
you know why I'm here.

Sure I don't, actually.

Your son Van raided
my father's home.

He put my grandmother in hospital.

You've been listening to
Sergeant Judd too long.

This was found in our living room.

So?
It has Van's name tag sewn into it.

Evidence like that should go
straight to Sergeant Judd.

Evidence can turn up at any time.

What is it for home invasion
these days? years?

What do you want?

How much do you want?

Money is not important. Most of what
was taken can easily be replaced at
better-than-wholesale prices.

But one thing cannot.

This?

It is a priceless family heirloom.

Really?

Yes.

Really.

OK.

Recovering this item would
mean a lot to my father.

f*ck, Mum.

You did the job on
the Chinese house.

Mum—
I don't care who hears. It was you.

I challenge you to prove it.

You left your balaclava behind.

Oh.
You att*cked an old lady.

You're wrong.
She's in hospital!

She kicked me in the head.

You were in her bloody house!

She put her hip out kicking me.
She almost f*cking k*lled me, man.

And I still might. Listen to me.
There are two rules this family
has always lived by.

One — we never invade people's
houses; not while they're at home,
anyway.

She wasn't meant to be there,
OK? Munter got the days wrong.

Two — we never ever use v*olence.

OK, Mother — she kickedme.

Now I'm the one with the Hongs
breathing down my neck.

The who?
The Hongs. It was their house.

(LAUGHS) Hey.

The Hong house...

the wong house. (CHUCKLES)

Van, listen to me. Listen. You stole
an ornament. You put it back, this
whole thing goes away. All right?

OK.

What whole thing?

The fact that you pissed off
somebody you shouldn't have
pissed off.

What — you?
No, not me, Van. Mr Hong.

Does the word triad
mean anything to you?

Yeah.

Oh, wicked.
No, not wicked, Van. Deep shit.

You get that ornament back to them.
You can do that, can't you?

Yeah, of course.

BUZZER SOUNDS

Hey. Sorry I wasn't there.

All you missed was some stuck-up
judge who loved the sound of his
own voice.

But four years? I mean—

Oh, I fell over.

Don't worry about it. I'm OK.

How's your mother?

Um,... n-not the best.

Hey, um,

I need to ask you something.

Um, you know the Asian
job I told you about?

Well, it kinda might have
turned up something.

There's this statue.

And the guy's really keen
to get it back.

You know, it's pig-ugly.

I'm wondering if there's something
inside the statue, you know?

Such as?

You know — smack.

Why are you telling me this?

We never... We don't touch that
kinda shit. We always stick to
what we've always done, right?

How much do you reckon's in there?

So you're saying I should—

What I'm saying is,

check it out.

Be careful.

Van, you're the one who's
looking after everybody now.

You're the man.

I'm the man.

I'm trying to work.

On a movie that will never get made.

I'm not telling you where
I hid the remote.

I can't turn on the TV without it.

Why don't you go to your room,
remove your brain, take off your
clothes and practise modelling?

At least I'm trying to do
something with my life.

What — whining about how you need
bucks so some sleazeball can
take more nude photos of you?

Give him a handjob. See if
he'll give you a discount.

Ew.

I beat him down from $ .

You've got $ .
No, I don't.

Liar. I've seen your
bank statements.

You read my mail?!

Gets boring here all day. I'll
pay you back after my first job.

PHONE RINGS

Ask Work and Income. They subsidise
your life as a lazy cow, don't they?

House of suffering and torment.
We need to talk.

Ah, kia ora, bro. Wondered
when you'd call.

Finally got caught, eh?

Temporary setback.

Caroline's very worried.

Thinks I'll take her
down with me, does she?

Come and have lunch.
We'll talk about it.

Hold on. Where are you going?

I can't. Mum says
I have to stay here.

She also said you
had to go to school.

Do I have to wear the dumb T-shirt?

That's what I pay you for.

It's really simple.

You want an advance on your benefit?

Yes.
To pay for...?

My portfolio.

To properly launch my career, I need
more photos of myself. More sides.

There are more sides?
More emotions.

Oh, right. Sorry, um,...

what career are we launching here?

Modelling, of course.

Ms West, here at Work and Income,
we don't actually give out advances
to launch modelling careers.

Don't you want people to get jobs?

Yes, of course—

This is the job that I want.

Yes, that may be—

So what's the problem?

Ms West, though I applaud your
initiative, we usually have jobs
here that people fill.

Stink jobs in fast-food places.

Entry-level positions in service.

Do you have any idea what working
around all that fat would do to my
skin? Please.

I'll see what I can do.

Thank you.

So, you want this back?

Yep.

Why?

I decided I like it. Yeah.

bucks, right?

That's what I paid for it.

So?

Gotta make a profit, Van.

.
Five.

What?!

This is a precious relic
from the Wong Dynasty.

[ No—
You're an expert on
the Wong Dynasty?

But you paid me bucks for it!

Maybe we should get
your mum to appraise it.

One,...

two...
TYRES SCREECH

f*ck!

Ow.

For God's sakes.

How long does it take
to get a simple yes?

Oh, Ms West.

I'll be with you in one second.

Man, the Government's useless.
It takes all of you to fix a
photocopier?

Yes, but if you wait in the office,
I'll be with you in a minute.

Yeah, but can we get a move on?

Rene said I should—

Uh, we needed a copy
of that for our records.

You bastard!

Um, Ms West. Ms West, don't do that!

Please, just calm down.

Prick!
Argh!

(GRUNTS) Bastard!

Are you the new parole officer?

Yeah, something like that.

[ It's her own bloody fault.
How is that?

You said your girlfriend was smart.

Youngest deputy principal ever.

Why couldn't she think of an excuse?

Something to buy some time.
I gave her my cellphone number.

What is it with you? I loved school.

And school loved you back.

Stop blackmailing Caroline.

Mr Stierson!

Jethro — those contracts
you wanted me to sign?

Yep, right here.

You remember my sister?

Yes. Kia ora.

When are you gonna let my bro work
for the good of the tangata whenua?

Yep, thanks, sis.

Anything else I can
help you with, Mr Stierson?

No.

Ka kite.

I am not blackmailing her.

You threatened to send the photos
to the Ministry of Education.

That's only kind of blackmailing.
It's two people getting what they
want out of a tricky situation.

I get around the law that says I
have to stay at school till I'm ,
and she gets to keep her job.

You know, it would break Mum's heart
to know the entire career of her
favourite son is based on a lie.

Are you gonna start
blackmailing me too?

Nah, you're family.
[ Thanks.

And you are paying me to be your
staunch little sister, so I'm kind
of implicated.

How can an erroneous assumption,
technically, be considered a lie?

When you feed it with bullshit
and get a job out of it.

Thanks for coming in, um,... Jethro.

You'll be notified in due course.

But I'll tell the iwi not
to get their hopes up, right?

The iwi?

Yeah, the iwi.

Are you, um,... are you Maori?

Half.

There's no mention of this anywhere.

No, well, I'm not in favour
of preferential treatment.

I think my people need to stand on
their own two feet in the Pakeha
world.

He is so going to bust
the fact you're Pakeha.

I'll deal with that. You just keep
playing your part. See you this
afternoon?

Come on, Grandpa, let's go. Are you
gonna sing a waiata after they cap
you?

Go back to school. Get a good
education — it's the way forward
for our people.

Pascalle?

Loretta?

Anyone?

Jesus, it's like
herding bloody sheep.

Have you got that statue?

Uh, bit of a problem there.
Such as...?

Yeah. Uh, I don't have it.

Where is it?

Um, I kinda... smashed it.

You what?
Smashed it.

You broke it?
Well, kinda.

Well, can it be fixed?

Um,... oh.

No. The pieces, they're very small.
So I think they'd probably notice
if...

Why are the pieces small, Van?

Um... Ooh.

Uh...

I kinda— You know how, um,...

I, like, um, sort of...
hit it with a wheel brace—

Jesus, Van! Did I not make it clear?

You get years for home invasion!
The statue goes back and they don't
give the evidence to the cops!

Why the f*ck did you smash it?

I thought there was
something inside it!

Such as what?
Oh, f*ck off.

What did you think was
inside the statue, Van?

Why should I tell you, eh?

With Dad inside, someone's gotta
make the decisions around here.

That's what he said.

He told you that? When?

When I went to see him. Yeah.

He said that I'm the man, so I
gotta look after the rest of youse.

What did you think
was in the statue, Van?

Maybe dr*gs.

This family doesn't deal in dr*gs.

Yeah? Well, maybe we should.

Look where Dad ended up, sticking
to the West family-code bullshit.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Sergeant Judd. You better
have a search warrant.

If you touch me once more...! I was
defending my right not to be perved
at by sickos.

Work and Income have agreed
to waive the damages bill.

They should be paying
me after what they did.

[ Who did what?

The Government freaks
were dribbling on my photos!

One did require medical attention
after being hit by a stapler.

I was aiming for his nuts.

I love your family, Cheryl.
They're a class act.

OK, what did I miss?
Is he gone?

Van, get my stuff. If anyone leaves
this house while I'm gone, I will
make your lives a bloody misery.

And this is new how (?)

I'm not kidding.

And when I get back, we're going to
your brother's capping ceremony, so
you better be bloody well dressed.

Four years, eh? There's
a turn-up for the books.

Don't worry — Franklin's
already working on the appeal.

You OK? He said
you were pretty upset.

Yeah, I was. But I got some good
news — Van's gonna be able to keep
you company in here (!)

Not immediately — when he
goes down for home invasion.
What happened?

He'll be in here longer than you
because some prick suggested he
started dealing dr*gs.

I never said that.
Really? Because that's
sure as f*ck what he heard.

You've never given that boy any
credit, have you? Not like your
precious Jethro.

I love all our kids equally, Wolf.
But I love them where they are —
not in prison or dead.

Van will be fine. He was just trying
to do the right thing by all of you.

Jesus, Wolf. It's a
miracle I still love you.

Cheryl, you go where the money is
or you get out. Van knows that.

You're a good wife, and you do your
bit with the money and everything.

But this is our side of
the business — me and Van.

You're not strong enough —
you don't have the balls.

So you should probably
just stay out of it, love.

♪ Hope the day I am counted

♪ starts just

♪ happy where we are.

♪ I'm leaving tomorrow

♪ and everyone else behind.

♪ The world can wait. ♪

Eric? Cheryl. Listen very carefully.

Cheryl, I know it's been a shock—

Have you got it?
...but have you gone a bit mental?

Probably. Have you cleaned out
the accounts like I told you to?

(EXHALES)

Is this all there is? ]

Yeah, well, tide's a bit
out at the moment, eh.

f*ck. All right. It'll have to do.

[ Do what, exactly?

These are all yours.

What?

You have what I seek?

No. No. It's gone — destroyed.
Look, I figure there are two ways
we can deal with this.

One, you send my boy to prison and
start a w*r between our families,
and we will fight you all the way.

Or two, we can go
down the other road.

Nice being in a room
full of young people.

Much better than sitting
on your own all the time.

Worth burning down your house for?

They're only possessions, love.

How's Dad?

You guys know I love you more
than anything in the world, right?

BOTH: Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, your dad said something to
me today which made a lot of sense.

'You go where the money is or you
get out.' That's what he said. It
got me thinking.

We've been where the money is,
and look at where it's got us.
Look at the state we're in.

So, starting today,...

we're getting out.

You mean we're moving?

Out of what we do — what we've
done, what this family's become.

I called Work and Income today.

And I explained that you'd be only
too happy to take whatever job they
offer you next.

Then I rang Ms Darling at school
and assured her that your attendance
record will be spotless.

Even if you're dying,
you go to school.

And I paid the Hongs off. And that's
all it was, Van — a family heirloom
from China. So we're all square.

Cool.
Yeah. And you start work
for them tomorrow.

Eh?
They need someone around the house —
driving, cleaning the swimming pool.

I won't be a bumboy for the triads!

You start work for them tomorrow,
which is a bloody sight better than
prison, wouldn't you agree?

Your dad went into prison
today for four years.

He's going to miss out on the next
four years of your lives, and we're
treating it like...

like it's an occupational hazard.
Well, not any more.

It all stops, right here, right now.

From now on, we play it straight.

What do you mean, 'straight'?

I mean we are out
of the crime business.

We are not bludging off welfare
any more. We are getting a f*cking
education. And I'm out of the shop.

No more dirty money. I'm
gonna get myself a real job.

And today... today, we're gonna...
we're gonna celebrate the example
that your brother has set us —

that just because we're Wests
doesn't mean we have to be
criminals.

Right.

Good.

I'll do my hair, and then we'll go.

(LAUGHS)

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

VAN: Jethro... West...

Lawyer.

LAUGHS: Should be 'w*nk*r'.

How can you be a model
when you eat like a pig?

I have a fast metabolism.

She's gonna, like,
get over this, right?

Maybe she's in, like,
shock over Dad.

Yeah. ]

Nah.

All those years at university,
training to defend my family,

then you go and change
the bloody rules on me!

You still might get your chance.

Do you want me to—?
No, no, it's all right.

Van, stay. It's all right.

If you're here for Van — please,
not now, not in the middle of this—

The Hongs changed their story.

Apparently the old lady is a bit
doolally, and we should be looking
for an ft-tall Tongan.

But I'm sure you know that already.

Good day?

Had its ups and downs.

I meant with Jethro
graduating and all.

The Wests won't be
bothering you any more.

Are you moving?

No, in the legal sense.
All that's behind us now.

Come on, Cheryl, get outta here.

It can't be done.

I say it can.

♪ I'm a great believer
in believing in you.

♪ But I don't have a compass —
no plans for pushing through.

.

♪ Bad weather's on the way.

♪ I need your shelter now.

♪ But first you save yourself,

♪ then you save the world.

♪ First you save yourself.

♪ First you save yourself,

♪ then you save the world.

♪ First you save yourself.

♪ You're such a brilliant pearl. ♪

(LAUGHS)

Dad—

I'm sorry. She actually
thinks this is gonna happen?

Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

Dad.

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.' ♪
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