02x06 - Dibship Rising

[bunniefuu]

[crackling]

Kids, I'm glad we can have

this dinnertime
recording together.

Now, Gaz, if you can
just put that can of beans

in the proton oven.

Be sure to take them
out of the can

or the expl*si*n will
destroy all human life!

[echoing] Human life...

[explosions]

[beeps]

Dib!

Sorry, Gaz.

Just doing a few
adjustments on Tak's ship.

[squish]

That didn't wipe out
all life as we know it.

You lied to me, Dad!

[grunting]

[boom]

Aah!

Unauthorized access!

Get away or I'll chop
your legs off!

Let's see how you
like this! Nyah!

[sparking]

Huahh!

Tak had downloaded her
personality into the computer,

so it might be possible
for me to download mine.

Gaz, are you listening
to me explain all this?

Tak's ship: No!
Stop what you're doing!

You'll never destroy me!

[slowly fading]
You'll... never...

Ungh.

No!

[garbled yelling]

[garbled yelling continues]

Stop!

Computer:
Personality transfer complete.

Rebuilding-- Hey!
Who are you?

I'm Dib.

No, you're not.
I'm Dib.

I feel funny.
What's happened to me?

Dib, come eat
your stinking food!

Um, I can explain later.

Stay calm.

Wait! Stop!
That's my dinner!

Do you love me?
Do you love me?

Do you love me?

It won't give us dinner

until you enter
your approval code.

Do you love me?
D-Do you love me?

Do you love me?
Do you love me?

Do you love me?

And I love you, kids!

The eating begins now!

Computer Dib: Hands
off my food, imposter!

Hey, you're getting
chunks of wall in the food!

Don't panic, Gaz.
That's not really me.

He must be part of Zim's
latest plan to replace me,

or something!

Whatever.

[chewing]

Give me that.
Yum!

Look, put the food down,

and I'll explain everything.

I know. The philosophical
implications are quite...

philosophical.

But I remember everything.

I remember being a baby,

my first ghost-baby sighting,

my first baby-alien encounter,

riding an alien elephant baby

at Dad's genetic-mutation fair.

Your memories are really of
me doing all of those things.

You have a copy of my
magnificent brain inside you.

No! It's all lies!
You're a clone!

Zim must have sent you.

I'm gonna stop you,
because I'm the real Dib!

I'm the real Dib, not you!

I'm Dib! I'm Dib!

I'm Dib! I'm Dib!

I'm Dib! I'm Dib!

I am Dib!

I'm Dib!

[machine powers down]

I'm keeping you in sleep
mode until I can sort this out.

Am I really that annoying?

Computer Dib: All right.
Time to go to work.

[snoring]

Computer Dib: No!

[gasps]

Ooh!

[breathing loudly]

That should stall him.

Heh heh heh heh.

Hey, I don't remember
having tentacles.

[crackle]

[retches]

Good morning.

Aah!

[all screaming]

I guess I'll be walking.

[kids screaming]

Hey, Dib's being all
weird and giant again.

[crash]

Hmm, Dib's looking
a little bit different

this filthy Earth day.

Wait a minute!

I spotted your fake
Dib double, Zim.

You already tried
that once before,

and it won't work
this time, either.

Hey, that's an Irken power
signature inside of you.

You're Tak's ship!

What are you talking about?

I'm Dib! I'm Dib!

[garbled muttering]

Of course you are.

Of course you are.

[garbled muttering continues]

Gaaah!

[crackling]

What the--

I'm late!

[panting and stammering]

[chitters]

Huh? How did you get out here?

Wait. You shut my
alarm off, didn't you?

Computer Dib: I'm sorry, Dib.

I tricked you and escaped.

I thought I was the real Dib,

but I was confused.

Would you like to get inside,

and I can take
you to school... pal?

Wow. Really? Are you sure?

Then we can repair my
flight systems together.

Just Dib and Dib.

Man, this is too amazing!

With your help, we
can get you flying again!

Just think of all
the places I can go.

Aaagh!

[garbled yelling]

Dib: Stop! No!

Wait! Where are you
taking me? No! Aah!

Ohh! Uhh! Aah! Stop!

Bad ship! Bad!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Aaah!

Zim! That figures.

You're controlling the ship
from your base, aren't you?

No, Dib, I am riding

on the back of
the ship right now!

Dib: Huh, that's pretty stupid.

Couldn't you just control
the ship from your base?

Well, uh... silence!

Soon you will be dumped
in the City Cesspool,

where your innards will
melt for millions of years.

Ha! The ship would
never do that to me.

Aah! Unhh!

Computer Dib: I must
obey the Irken empire!

You see?

Your ship obeys me now!

Ship, make him sick!

I obey!

[all screaming]

[screaming continues]

That was stupid... again!

Yeah.

Silence! I'm a genius!

There must be some little
piece of me still inside of you!

Ship, can you remember
our fifth birthday

when we fought off that swarm
of alien ghost bee babies?

Computer Dib: No!

No! I...

Obey me! You are Irken property!

Aaah!

Ungh!
[Thud]

And do you remember
the time we saved

a busload of horrible kids
from a nut-eating moose?

The kids gave me a wedgie!

Computer Dib: Wedgie.

Oh. Hurt so bad.

Obey me, ship thing!
[Birds caw]

Ah, the Cesspool.

Prepare for your smelly demise

of smell!

I like corn!

I do.

[Zim and GIR cackle]

Dib: Uh, no!

Ship, it's not too late!

[laughing maniacally]

[gasps]

Aah!

[birds cawing]

Dib: Ship! Remember!

Remember who I am!

Who you are!

[struggling] Who we are.

Who I am!

No, listen to Zim!

Hear me!

Hey! [Stammering]

Aaah!

Aaah!

Computer Dib: I am Dib!

Yes!

Everyone thinks I'm a freak!

Yes!

I'm a loser.

Um, that's kinda mean, ship.

This knowledge is horrible!

I can't live like this.

Must erase personality
programming.

Life passing before
my eyes backwards.

There's that lunch
I had yesterday.

There's that wedgie.

And there's Zim
coming after Earth,

and that other wedgie.

And there's me
eating a sandwich.

Hmm, leftovers.

There's me in the bathroom.

I was sick that day.

Can you hurry?

The smell's getting to me.

[GIR screeches]