Alien Apocalypse (2005)

[bunniefuu]

Narrator:
In the beginning,

There was the heavens,
and the earth,

And it was green.

And the land was fertile
and abundant

With vast forests
and millions of trees,

And it was good.

( Soft music playing )

Trees of every sort
and variety:

Enormous Douglas Firs,
mighty Oaks,

Giant Redwoods
and fragrant Pines.

One could walk
for miles under the canopy
of the great woods,

Not knowing if it was
daylight or twilight.

But that was long ago--

Before the invasion
and the infestation

And the mites.

A plague of misery
had befallen us.

We, the chosen people
of Earth, humans

Were shackled in bondage.

Okay, let's get it moving.

Go on, step up.

Keep moving, move.
Come on.

( Exhales )

- You know,
I was just wondering.
- What now, Doctor?

I was just wondering
if there were as many
doctors practicing now

- As when we left.
- Why is that, pray tell?

It's the old theory
of supply and demand.

I mean, if there are more,
then I can't charge as much

'Cause the rates go down,
but if there aren't as many,

I can charge whatever I want,
whatever the market
will bear.

There is no market, and there
are no doctors here, right?

- Then my services will be
in great demand, won't they?
- Hey!

Civilization has
been destroyed.

Why else wouldn't
they have made
radio contact, huh?

Huh?
'Cause everything's
gone, that's why.

In the 40 years we've been
in cryogenic sleep,

The world
has been decimated,
and we're all gonna die.

Boy, did you wake up
on the wrong side
of the capsule.

Why don't you
can it, lieutenant?
Just take a break.

What are you
talking about, Doc?

Have I told you lately
that you look terrific
in a flight suit?

- Not in the 20 years
since we placed the probe.
- Well, you do.

And I won't wait
20 more to tell
you that again.

- My neck hurts.
- You probably slept
in the wrong position

For the past five
or six years.
Remind me,

I'll give you
an adjustment.
Where was I?

- ( Creature hisses )
- Woman: Supply and demand.

- Oh brother, here we go again.
- Doc: Well, come on.

Astronauts might be a dime
a dozen in the future.

Everyone might have
a spaceship in their
backyard.

Right, and everyone might
have a medical degree too.

The average person might
know more about medicine
than you ever learned.

Aha, what do you say
to that, Doctor?

The way I got
it worked out,

My services will be
at a high premium.

Okay? In fact, osteopaths
will be in greater demand
than MD's.

My current theory is
that the world will be
utopia, excluding MD's,

- And I'll be known
as "The Great Healer."
- Ha!

What, don't you
have confidence
in my abilities?

No, I don't think it
matters what you think.

Nothing ever works out
the way it's supposed to,

And neither will any
of your theories.

What I think, people,

Is that we're all
breathing high levels
of radiation.

And we'll all be
dead by nightfall.

You must be
a fun date.

Anyway, in utopia,
which is now,

I will be known
as "The Great Healer."

I'll charge
exorbitant fees,

Sickness will be eradicated,
and everyone will be happy,

Which leads me
to my next theory.

Guy: Holy mackerel,
this is gonna be
a long future.

Zip it, Doctor.

Wasn't Portland
in the middle
of the woods?

Yeah, I thought so.

I told you so.
What else could k*ll
all the trees like that?

It's radiation.

Radiation.
We're all getting
cancer right now.

I can feel it.
I can feel my skin
burning.

- Ow! What did
you do that for?
- I didn't do anything.

( Horse whinnies )

Come on, step up.
Move it.

What the hell
is that?

Guy: It's utopia.

- Let's get the hell
out of here.
- Yeah.

- ( r*fles c*ck )
- Huh...

- They sure dress funny.
- Yeah.

My name is
Captain Chuck Burkes,

United States Air Force.

- Greetings.
- What did you say?

Uh, greetings.

We're friends.

- He did it again.
- He sure did.

I don't know where
you're from with
your funny clothes,

But you don't never
talk to us, never!

Come on.

( Muffled )
Aida, get down.

Get back!

Move it, move it!

Narrator:
Our sense of hope
was almost gone.

We had nothing worthwhile
to believe in.

But that was all soon
to change.

That was the day
that the Doctor appeared.

He came forth
from the desert
to heal humanity's wounds,

To teach us once again
to stand up

Straight as men,
to set us free.

- Come on, move it!
- ( Whip cracks )

Move!
Do you hear me?

I said move!

Move it, move it!

Move.

Stop, sl*ves.

- What you got?
- Uh, 18.

- A puny lot.
- They were strong enough
to run through Portland,

They can stack
the damn wood.

( Whirring )

These ones here
are strangely dressed.

Must be from
a different district.

A different district?
Wow, that must be good.

We're in luck.

Yeah, let's go tell
the mites,

- Or should we wait?
- Nah, they're not gonna
bite our heads off.

Don't you do nothing
with these till we get back.

Take these three over
to the loading dock
and get'em working.

Get moving, sl*ves.
Come on.

Go on.

Come on.

Go on.

You can't stop working.
That holds up the whole
show.

Then I get in trouble,
so now you're in trouble.

Hey hey!

Get back to work!

Come on, let's go!
Come on!

Move it!

Come on.

Come on.

Move!

Get going, move!

Come on!

Unmask them.
Unmask them now.

Tell me now--
Who are you?

I said, tell me now--
Who are you?

- Who are you?
- Who are you?

Who am I? I am the leader,
the leader of this district.

Leader?
You're not even human.

No, nor would I ever
want to be a human.

Now, tell me now
what district are
you from?

Be quick.

- I'm from Michigan.
- Michigan.

That is a district
quite far away from here.

- Where are you from?
- Oregon. We are in Oregon.

No no no.
You're not from earth.

What planet
are you from?

( Screeches )

There, does that
help you to understand?

( Speaking alien language )

Yeah, that was funny.

Look, I want some answers,
and I want them now.

What's going on?
What are you aliens
doing here?

He does not have
the respect for
his superiors

That all humans
naturally come by.

That cannot be allowed,
never allowed.

( Screeches )

( Gasps )

That is our favorite
delicacy next to wood.

Never tempt us.

Now where are you from?

We're astronauts.
We've been in space
for 40 years.

We put a probe
in deep space.

Yes, we passed
this probe on our way here.

We did not stop
to check its message.

Do your work well
and you will live.

That is your only choice.

( Screeches )

( Alien speaking
alien language )

( Crunching )

( Chitters )

Come on!

You're really not
from another district?

You're really
from outer space?

By Jupiter,
that's better than
another district.

- We done real good.
- Yeah, we might get
promoted for this.

But you're working
for the aliens
and against the humans.

- Yeah, sure.
- It's a lot better
than being a sl*ve.

- You're not helping things.
You're hurting them.
- What do you mean?

I mean, if you're not
part of the solution,

You're part
of the problem.

( Unison )
Shut up.

Go on, get in there.

What do we do now,
lieutenant?

We befriend them.
We get them to trust us.

Ah, good point.

How?

Let's introduce
ourselves. Hi.

Hi.

You're doing great.
They love you.

How about this?
How about we go sit
near the biggest fire

And if they all run away,
at least we're sitting
by the biggest fire.

That's better
than your first plan.

Do you mind
if we sit down?

You're already sitting.

What's your name?

Jeff. What's yours?

I'm Ivan,
and this is Kelly.

What do you want?

Some food
would be nice.

It's all gone.
Where are you from?

Well, we're astronauts.
We just came back
from a space mission.

We've been gone
for 40 years.

The probe mission.

Yeah.
How'd you know?

It says so
on your uniforms.

I remember when the probe
mission was going on.

I was pretty young
at the time.

- Kelly:Really?
- Yeah, before the invasion.

When exactly
was the invasion?

Oh, 20 years ago now.

I'm one from the few left
that still counts the time.

What are these aliens
doing here?

Wood.

They're here for wood?

Uh-Huh. It's like gold
or diamonds to them.

I guess their planet
don't have no wood.

They ship it back for profit--
Supply and demand, you know?

Oh, I'm familiar
with that theory,
and it's a very good one.

Yep, wood's what this
whole damn thing's about.

Who'd have thunk it?

- Teen: They eat it too.
- Who's that?

That's Alex.
He's a real bright kid.

Got a pencil and paper
and knows how to write.

I taught him.
Go ahead, show 'em.

He lost a finger today,

- So he's a little shy.
- What's with all
the fingers?

Every time you escape
and get caught,

You lose a finger.

Yeah, well,
you lose any more,

You're gonna be
scratching your a*s
with a wooden spoon.

When I lose enough
of them, I can't work.

Then you're dead.

Let me see your hand.

Go on,
show him your hand.

Anyway, the aliens
got camps like this

In every wooded parts
of the world.

They're slowly but surely
stripping all the trees
on earth.

And they ain't planting
any new ones.

How'd it happen?

They dropped bombs
before they got here.

Kinda like neutron bombs,
k*lled the people,

But didn't hurt the trees.
Then they landed

And ex*cuted most
everyone else,

Except for the few they put
to work in the mills, like me.

- I'm the oldest one here.
- How old are you?

I guess I'm just 35 now.

Very few make it
to my age.

The work kills them.
I like to work, though.

It keeps me young.

Yeah, just like
the fountain of youth.

What about hope?

Hope?
Well, sure.

They give us one
day off a month

And double rations
every other Sunday.

That's their holy day,

When they pray
to the giant termite
in the sky.

No, I'm talking
about hope for freedom.

( Murmuring )

- The president lives.
- The president--
The president of what?

- Of the United States.
- Oh, please.

It's true.
The President
and all of his men.

It's the Senators
he's talking about.

They escaped to a special
b*mb shelter in the mountains.
They live.

They're putting together
a fighting force
of escaped sl*ves

To begin a revolution
for freedom.

And you've been waiting
for this for how long?

Since the bombs
fell from the sky,
and the dark time came.

20 years. If old
President Demsky's coming,
he's taking his time.

Don't talk
like that, old man.
That's blasphemy.

Demsky wasn't even
a good president--

Republicans, sheesh.

But he lives,
and he'll lead
us all to freedom.

All: Freedom!

Freedom!

20 years is a long time.
I don't think we should
wait for this guy.

Me neither.

I say we tunnel out
of here.

Right, okay,
we'll work in shifts

And then we'll get out
of here in no time.

How do you get a pair
of gloves in this place?

You gotta wait
until someone dies

Then take 'em.

That usually don't take
too long.

Charming.

( Kelly grunting )

Overseer: Come on.
Get ahold of that.
Get it up there.

Move it, move it,
move it.

- Come on, keep it going.
- Come on!

- You over there,
what are you doing?
- Get going!

Keep it moving.

Come on!

- Hey!
- What are you
looking at?

- Keep it going.
- Come on, everybody,

Keep working!

You, yeah,
you over there.

Pick it up.

Move move
move move!
Get it up there.

Knock it off.

Come on.

( Man grunting )

- Stay away from him.
Let him alone.
- Keep working.

He's not your problem.

Move it!

Move that stack
over there.

Come on.

Pick it up.
Let's go.

( Whistles )

Come on, pick it up.
Keep going.

You, go,
prepare the body now.

You two, come with me.

Come on.

( Workers clamoring )

- Boy: Over here.
- Boy #2: Me.

( Clamoring )

- Get out of my way.
- Look out.

- Watch out.
- Let me have it.

So sad to see how low
people can get.

Yeah, it is.

It's mine!

I'm glad you guys
finally made it back.

Come on, girl,
come on.

Come on, over here.

Come on, come on.

All right, let's move it.
Go on. Get going.

Come on, move out.

You, tell the leader

There will be
more food. Go.

( Clamoring )

- It's mine! It's mine!
- It's mine!

It's food.
Mine, gimme.
It's food.

- Give it to me.
Give it to me.
- It's mine.

Stop standing around.
Work!

Move move move move!

Get it up.

Keep it going.

Work it!

Yeah, I want you
to move it over there.

( Whistles )

Hey hey hey!

It's not your problem.

No!

Freedom!

Freedom!

Freedom!

( Whispers )
What's this guy
talking about?

Overseer:
Stop standing around.
Get back to work.

- You, get going.
- Work it!

Freedom!

It's your fingers, kid.

- Well, all right.
- Welcome aboard.

Thanks.

You, what are you doing?

- They die?
- Everything dies.

What's going on here?

Come on, come on.

Hey hey,
what's with those two?

Get over here.
Somebody get 'em.

Get the horses.

Let's get 'em!

Get after 'em!
Come on, move it.

Move it, everybody.
Mount 'em up!

- Hyah, hyah.
- Hyah!

- What happened here?
- ( Speaks alien language )

Tell me what happened.

Hyah, come on!

Get up! Get up!

Out of the way!

- Let's split up.
- Okay.

Come on,
they're just up here!

- Keep moving!
- Hyah!

Come on!

See 'em?

Over there!
Hyah-Hyah!

Come on, we got 'em!
We got 'em!

- Get 'em.
- Hyah!

Get her.
Bring her down!
Look out!

( Grunts )

That oughta do it.

You won't be going
anywhere real soon.

( Grunting )

- ( Whinnies )
- Hyah, come on!

Come on!

Oh, come on with this.

You stupid piece of...

( Whinnies )

( Screaming )

- They're dead.
That's for sure.
- Mm-Hmm.

Woman:
Hey, over here.

Have we met?

I don't think so.

This is really weird.
Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure,
unless you're at least
50 years old.

My name is Bizzi.

Hi, I'm Ivan.

- I'm Alex.
- Hi.

Hey, thanks for
saving our lives.

- Did you just escape
from the sawmill?
- Yeah.

Why are you wearing
such funny clothes?

Alex:
He's from outer space.

Are you an alien?

Do I look like
an alien?

No.

No no no,
I'm from earth.
I'm a doctor.

Oh. What's a doctor?

You don't know
what a doctor is?

I help people.

Oh, how sweet.

- Follow me.
- Ivan: Never heard of doctors.

I could still become
The Great Healer.

Hey, Bizzi,
what you got there?

- He's a doctor.
- He looks like a spaceman
or something.

Just so happens
I am a spaceman.

He says
he's a spaceman.

This fella says
he's a spaceman.

Ivan: Okay okay, I get it.
Yeah, I'm a spaceman,
thank you.

( Laughs )
a spaceman.

Hello.

Second lieutenant
Ivan hood, D.O.

Who are you?

I'm Isaac.
I'm the leader
of freedom valley.

Nice to meet you.

- What are you doing?
- It's a greeting.

So now, are you
really a spaceman?

As a matter of fact I am.
NASA probe mission.

I just saw the bounty-Hunters
carrying away a woman
dressed like you.

Was she all right?

She was knocked out,
but breathing.

Thank goodness.

What does "D.O." Mean?

I'm a Doctor
of Osteopathy.

Does that mean you're
a doctor for animals
or humans?

Osteopathy is the study
of slugs and their
mating habits.

Oh really?

I've always been
interested in slugs.
How do they mate?

- Very carefully.
- Ah...

I'm kidding.
It's a joke.

An Osteopath is
a doctor for the people.
Can I show you?

Turn around.

Just relax.

- All right,
breathe in, out.
- ( Inhaling, exhaling )

In, out.

( Bones crack )

Thank you.

That feels fine.

No problem.
You'll get my bill.

Anyone else has a problem,
just come talk to me.

Matter of fact,
you can think of me
as the great healer.

Well, here in freedom valley,
we welcome any human,

No matter where
he escaped from.

You may live here
in peace for the rest
of your days.

Whoa, wait a minute.
I got a friend back
at the sawmill.

I gotta get her out
of there. I need
your help.

We in freedom valley
do not fight.

We live in peace
with everything.

Except the aliens
and the bounty-Hunters.

This is one of the very
few settlements of humans
left on earth.

We're not looking
for trouble.

You don't have to look.
It's already here.

Now this president
of yours-- What's
his name-- Kempsky?

You're trying
to trick us.

President Demsky was
after the probe mission.

You were in deep space
when he was elected.

Knock it off, old man.
Look, I'm probably twice
your age.

Now look, back at
the sawmill

All the sl*ves were talking
about President Demsky.
Where is he?

He's putting together
a fighting force of sl*ves

In the Cascade Mountains.

He's a myth.
He died with everyone
else in the capitol.

No, he didn't.
The president lives.

I've spoken with a guy
who knew someone

Who saw him.
He lives.

The President lives!

All:
The President lives!

The Cascade Mountains
aren't that far away.

I'll just go find him.

- All: No, you can't.
- Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't.

The bounty-Hunters
will track you down
and k*ll you.

That's a pretty good one.

You know, those
bounty-Hunters are f*gs.
I can get past them.

You will be k*lled.

Oh, you're a hopeful bunch,
I'll tell ya.

You know what?
I don't give a damn.
I got nothing to lose.

I'll either find
this president, or I'll
prove he doesn't exist.

And if he does exist,
I'm coming back here

With his fighting force,
and we're gonna take on
these aliens,

And we're gonna free
my friend and all the other
sl*ves at the sawmill.

You say you're free
here at "Freedom Valley."
That's a boatload of crap.

You're just prisoners
in a bigger cage.

Now who will join me
in my quest?

- I will.
- Me too.

Well, at least there's
two among you with courage.

But, Bizzi, we were
gonna be married.

There are more important
things to do now.
Don't you see?

The Doctor was sent here
to lead us to the President.

I don't think so.

I think he'll lead you
to your doom.

We'll let you know
when we get back.

Can we stay the night?

Of course.

Thank you.

I'm glad you guys
finally made it back.

Man, she looked a lot better
before we started.

Yeah. Too bad we
had to beat her with
the damn mites watching.

I'd like to have
done a spacegirl.

She'll get better.
Then we'll both do her.

( Laughs )

Yosemite, you sure
did her up royal.

The mites
was watching.

Well, now...

She and the other spaceman
k*lled one of the mites.

- I didn't know
you could do that.
- Yeah, me neither.

They die
just like us.

Except green crap
comes out.

Yeah, come on.

( Screeches )

( Chanting )

Where am I?

You're safe.
You're with us.

Where's Ivan?

He got away,
so did Alex.

Thank god.

No one has ever k*lled
one of the mites before.

It's got everyone thinking.

Man:
I saw the doc that
k*lled one of the aliens.

There's a chance.
He just stabbed him, yeah...

Narrator:
So we set out to find
the President.

But some people
did not believe.

The three of us
were convinced that he
was up there... somewhere.

( g*nsh*t )

( g*nsh*t )

So much k*lling.

Come on, sl*ves,
move it.

- Let's go, come on.
- Let's go.

Bizzi, you got a knife?

Oh, just make it quick,
will ya?

I don't suppose we have
anything antiseptic
with us, do we?

Like alcohol?

- Potato liquor?
- Oh, that'll do.

Ohh, smooth.

- Here, drink this.
- Huh?

- Drink, it'll k*ll the pain.
- Why do you want me to drink

- If you're gonna
stick me with a knife?
- Because I'm a sadist.

Now come on, drink up.

( Coughs )

Oh, that's pretty good.

Okay, let's hold him down.
Alex, take his hands.
Bizzi, take his feet.

- Bizzi: What you gonna do?
- I'm gonna operate.

- What's that?
- Well, you-- Just watch.

( Moans ) Oh, you
could cut my finger off.

You could cut all
my fingers off.

I'll work
in the mill, please.
( Screaming )

Oh god!
( Screaming )

Here we go.

Good as new.
You want this
as a souvenir?

- Ain't you gonna k*ll me?
- He's a doctor.
He's just gonna heal you.

A doctor?

There ain't no doctors
no more.

Oh, yes, there is.
And I'm it.

- Are you some kind
of spaceman too?
- Yeah, I guess I am.

Okay, let's go.
Just clean that every so
often and you'll be fine.

Wait.
Where are you going?

- To find the President.
- The President, he lives!

He'll bring freedom
to us all! ( Moans )

That's what
we keep hearing.
We're gonna find him.

Can I come with you?

- Sure, what's your name?
- Tyler.

- Tippecanoe and Tyler too.
- Huh?

A long time ago there was
a president named Tyler, see?

And he...

- Oh, forget it.
Tyler, you think you can walk?
- Sure sure, I feel great.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Come on.

Let's go.
( Moans )

( Thuds )

That's my kind of guy.
Let's go make friends.

- How you doin'?
- Nobody move or you're dead.

- What do you want?
- We wanna make friends.

You want my fish.

Well, we wouldn't mind
sharing them.

What are you offering?

Friendship.

Friendship, huh?

- What are you doing here?
- We're looking
for the President.

The President.

The President's dead.

- Are you sure?
- No.

- Are you sure he's alive?
- No, but we're gonna find out.

All:
The President lives!

Hey hey, can we stop
with that "President lives"
crap, okay?

You're not
slogan-repeating sl*ves.
You're free people.

Start acting like it.

All right,
I'm with you.

I like the way
you talk.

Besides, I don't have
any b*ll*ts anyway.

And you can have all
the fish you want

As long as
there's water around.

I catch 'em,
but I don't much
like eating them.

- My name's Bob.
- Welcome aboard, Bob.

Okay, I gotta stop
doing that.

Let's make a fire
and eat some fish.

Ivan:
You know, there were
so many things

In this world that
I always took for granted,

And now that they're gone,
whew, I miss 'em.

- Like what?
- Well, like they had
these restaurants.

People called them
greasy spoons,

And you could go in there
and get eggs, toast,

Hash brown and coffee
for $9.99.

The waitress would come
around four times

And ask you if everything
was all right and then forget
to give you coffee.

And scanning up
and down the radio dial,

Looking for a good song
and only finding ones

That you don't like,

Like basketball.

Even though my team
never won. We never
got in the playoffs.

Your crappy TV shows,
I don't know.

Are you sorry
that you're here?

I don't know.

It's just that nothing
ever seems to go the way
you think it's gonna.

I mean, I finally
fall in love,

Or at least I think
I have,

And I get away,
and she gets caught.

I always wanted
to be a doctor, though.

Ever since I was a kid,
I'd watch doctor shows

On TV and think to myself,
"hey, I wanna be like
that guy."

- What's TV?
- None of your damn business.

Of course, my grades
weren't good enough,

So I went into
the air force.

Thought maybe I could
fly jets and helicopters,

But no, my grades
weren't good enough
for that either.

Luckily, they put me
through osteopathic school.

Of course, all the MD's
made fun of the DO's

'Cause they thought
they were quacks.

And then I joined that

stupid space probe mission,

Mainly 'cause all the real
doctors didn't wanna be gone
for 40 years,

But I thought I'd come back
a hero to a better place,

But no!

Sometimes I just think
that god or fate

Or whatever is just
cruel because no matter
what you want,

It's never what you get.

And you know,

- I have a theory
about that too.
- ( Thuds )

Whoa whoa, we can't
come back empty-Handed.

We'll be in trouble
for sure.

I don't wanna hang
around this area.

There's hostiles here.

A bounty-Hunter got
k*lled around here
just a few weeks ago.

You're just yellow.
I ain't afraid of no sl*ves.

( Rustling )

Hey, there's something
moving in those woods.

I'm gonna go
check it out.

Don't do it.
I'm telling you.

I know you're in there.
Get out of there before
I blow you away!

I said get out of there!

You k*lled me!
You gone and k*lled me.

You gone
and k*lled me.

You're not dead.
I won't let you die,

Even though you deserve it,
you traitor.

- Traitor? Traitor to what?
- To humanity.

- I don't get ya.
- Yeah, and that's the problem.

All right, look,
I'll make you a deal.

I'll save your life
if you stop working
for the aliens

- And come with us.
- How can you save my life?

I just can.
Now do we have a deal?

Yeah, sure,
we got a deal.

( Screams )

Why do you even
bother with him?

He's a stinking
bounty-Hunter.

Because he's a human,
and humans have the ability
to change.

Bizzi, you got any more
of that liquor?

If the Doctor says so,
then it's true.

I'll drink to that.

Ahh, just what
the doctor ordered.

- Okay, we are not prepared
to climb that.
- No.

- Anybody have any ideas?
- ( g*nsh*t )

Man:
Who are you?

We're friends
and fellow humans.

Who says? See, I ain't
hardly human,

And you
are not my friends.

- We could be.
- And if I blow
your head off,

Would you still
be my friend?

- You're not gonna sh**t me.
- I'm not, huh?

- How do you know?
- I just know.

Ain't you just
a little scared?

Not even a little.
I'm Ivan.

- I'm a doctor.
- A doctor? What's that?

I heal people.

Oh, yeah?

I got taken
to folks like you
when I was little.

Didn't do me
no good, though.

You were taken
to doctors or to healers?

To folks who said

- God healed through them.
- Just as I suspected.

So what are you all
doing up here?

We just came to the mountain
to find the president.

- The president? Why?
- He's putting together

A fighting force
to overtake the aliens
and make the earth free.

All:
The President lives!

Hey hey hey!

No kidding.

You wouldn't know anything
about the president?

It depends on which
president you mean.

I may know
a different one.

- Demsky's the one
they're talking about.
- Sure, I know where he is.

You do?

I'll take you there.

Then we can all join
the fighting force
together.

( Chuckles )

The tanks
and the howitzers

For the President's
fighting force are
hidden over here.

( Laughs )

Made you look.

Hey, demsky.

Get out here.
You got visitors.

"Hey, Demsky."
What, are you two
on the same bowling team?

( Laughs )

That's great.
You're a funny guy.

By the way,
what's bowling?

( Laughs )

Who have you
betrayed us to now?
Who?

You deformed dwarf.

Up yours, you old fart.
Go get Demsky.

Don't tell me
what to do.

I'm the senior Senator
from New York.

Who's this?

You're nothing now,
so move, get Demsky.

Boy, if only they
could pass bills
that fast.

So this is it,

The whole
Washington D.C. Bunch--

Senators, Congressmen,

Judges.

Look at 'em.

Rats with beady
little pink eyes.

They come to me
begging for meat.

"Please please please."
Who's in charge now, huh?

- Shut up, dwarf.
- Up yours.

Mr. President,
this disgusting creature

Has brought us outsiders,
intruders.

You were on
the probe mission?

Yes, sir, I was.

Crowd:
Probe mission.
Probe mission!

Why is everyone
so interested?

It was the probe
that...

Is the reason
why we're alive.

Their warning
allowed a few of us

To seek shelter.

Well, it's nice to know
our efforts weren't wasted.

Listen, Mr. President,
I am here leading

A group of escaped
sl*ves that want to join
your fighting force.

Fighting force?

Yeah, the one that's
gonna battle the aliens

In the upcoming rebellion.

Rebellion,
what rebellion?

The one
that you're leading.

The one that plenty of sl*ves
I've talked to believe in.

I'm not leading
a rebellion.

I'm not leading anything.

But these people
believe in you.

- What the hell am I
supposed to do about it?
- Lead 'em to victory.

There can't be a victory
against these-- These--
These--

Disgusting vermin.

- You can't fight them.
- Have you tried?

Well, have you seen them?
It's no way.

What are you talking about?
I've k*lled them myself.

They die just like
anything else, only
a little louder

And they spew green crap.
I mean, look at that--
That's not coming out.

But you didn't tell us
you k*lled an alien.

Big deal.
It's not that hard. A rock
or an arrow is all you need.

I used a drill bit.

Mr. President,
the time is now.

No no,
it won't be me.

I've given all
I can give.

I...

I have no more.
I'm through.

My friend...
the woman I love

Is being held c*ptive
back at the sawmill,

And I have
to get her out.

If none of you are
even thinking about
fighting back,

Then you've just given up.
Well, I haven't.

I'm gonna keep fighting back,
and any of you that wish
to join me,

You're welcome.

Mr. President, someone's got
to lead this rebellion,

And if it's not gonna
be you, then it might
as well be me.

I say freedom
for humans, freedom!

Freedom!

Okay, look,
I changed my mind.
Altogether now, freedom!

All:
Freedom!
Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom!
Freedom!

Overseer:
Hey, what are you doing?

Get back to work.

I'm warning you.

( Man whimpering )

All right, two of
you guys, go get him.

The guy's cracking up.

The rest of you
get back to work.
What are you looking at?

( Panting )

Narrator:
After so long believing
that the President

Would lead us to victory,
there was nothing left to do

But go back.

Well, Doctor,

I wish you the best
of luck with your rebellion.

- I'll catch you later.
- But I thought you joined us.

Nope, I just took you
where I said I'd take you.

That you did.
Thank you.

Bill.

- Yeah.
- Before you go,

Would you let me try
and help you?

I don't have any
medical equipment,
but I still think

- I can do you some good.
- Nah, it's been tried.

Let me try.

Just relax.

- Breathe in.
- ( Breathing )

Out.

In, out.

In, out,

- ( Bones crack )
- ( Bill screaming )

( Groaning )

Oh...

My god!

Oh my god.

See, you're not even
that short.

I don't think you qualify
as a dwarf or a m*dget.

Thank you.
Thank you, Doctor.

You're welcome.
Don't mention it.
It was nice to meet you.

Well, catch you
on the flip-Flop.

Wait, can I go with ya?

- But you just said--
- Please?

Sure, hop on board, chief.
Glad to have you.

Okay.

Gather around.
We have news.

But their beliefs,
their hope, their faith--

Is misplaced
and they should know it.

Gather around, everyone.
We have news of the president.

All:
The President lives!

The President does
in fact live.

All:
The President lives!

He lives, but there is
no fighting force,

No rebellion.

But the President
will lead us all
to freedom.

No, he won't.
As he said himself,
he leads nothing.

Look, I hate to break it
to you,

But the President is just
an old man who stares
out the window.

He is alive, yes,
but he may as well be dead.

But what about freedom?

Freedom will only come
to humans

As long as humans are willing
to fight for freedom.

You have no president
to pin your hopes on,
only yourselves.

The only rebel army
is standing right there
in front of you.

Now we will fight
for freedom,

And if any of you are
willing to join us, join now.

But there's not
enough of us.

If one person is
willing to stand up

And fight for what's
right, that's enough.

But as long
as you hide here
in the this valley

And wait for someone
to bring you freedom,
you are still sl*ves.

Freedom only comes
to those who are willing
to fight for it.

Now who will join us?

Please, you're my people.
We need you.

You must join us.

This is stupid.
There's not enough
of us to do anything.

I'm going fishing.

You know what?
Go ahead and go.

I'll be the whole rebel army
myself if I have to.

I've come back
to a world of cowards.

I'd rather die fighting
than be any part of this.

Adios.

Kelly...

Just be okay.

( Muffled screaming )

Mind your own damn
business, boy.

What's wrong?

He just r*ped bizzi.

I tried to stop him,
but I couldn't.

Is that true?

What of it?
She's used to it.
She's a sl*ve.

That's how
it's done here.

- Not here it isn't.
- You think you have
something real special, huh?

You're all just
escaped sl*ves.

You're gonna get caught
or k*lled tomorrow anyhow.

- What's the difference?
- The difference is we're
free now, and we have laws.

And we treat each other
with respect.

Oh, yeah? Drop dead.

I'm going back to
the sawmill and tell 'em
where you are right now.

Hey, scumbag.
You forgot something.

What?

( Grunts )

You said you're a doctor.

You're supposed
to heal people.

I am. Your stupidity
is terminal,

And now you're cured.

Try and get some sleep,
everybody.

Tomorrow's gonna be
a rough day.

I'm sorry.

Ready. Aim.

Fire!

All: Charge! Charge!

( Screaming )

Spread out!

Ivan!

( Screams )

Fall back!

Come on, let's go, go!

( Sighs )

Fall back, fall back!

Come on, get inside, everybody.
Inside, come on!

- Come on!
- Hey, let me in.

Man: Come on!

Charge!

( Screaming )

I'm so glad you're alive.

( Murmuring )

Kelly:
This is really great.

( Screaming )

Guard:
You guys know
what's gonna happen?

( Man speaks indistinctly )

( All chanting )
k*ll them! k*ll them!
k*ll k*ll k*ll!

k*ll k*ll k*ll
k*ll k*ll!

- What do we do with them?
- I know. Let's just
k*ll them b*stards.

Let's throw them
into the fire!

- Let's butcher 'em!
- Let's cut 'em into pieces
and feed 'em to the fish!

No!

Let's ask
the Doctor.

These are the first
moments of freedom

Many of you
have ever experienced.

I don't think this is
the right time to be
executing anyone,

Alien or human.

- What do we do with 'em?
- It's up to you.

You're humans
just like us.

You can join us
if you want,

But you're gonna have
to convince us that
you mean it.

Let 'em think it over.
Put 'em in the guardhouse.

- Let's get em out of here.
Take 'em to the guardhouse.
- Do what the Doctor says.

- All right, take it easy.
- Aren't you the wise leader?

You can just call me
The Great Healer.

Yeah, Great Healer,
just kiss me.

That's Mr. Great healer
to you.

Hey hey, he said we could
take the sawmill,
and we did.

The Doctor knows what
he's talking about.

Look at me.
He cured me.

He took us
to see the president.

All:
The President lives!
The President lives!

The President...
the President is just
an old man

Sitting in his chair.
He's a coward.

That's why the Doctor
led the attack himself.

He chose not to k*ll
them b*stard bounty-Hunters.

He must be a just man
because I would have
k*lled them in a second.

He k*lled one last night,
one he had already saved.

He gives life,
and he takes it away.

Right before he came out
of the desert,

I saw a sh**ting star
in the daylight sky.

I think it was a sign
from heaven.

All our troubles
are over.

Heaven on earth is here.

Take cover.
Something's coming!
Prepare to fight!

( Rumbling )

Humans,
give up immediately.

Do not attempt resistance.

You are defeated.

You like wood so much,
eat this!

Look out!

( Screams )

( Coughing )

Never before have we
encountered an armed revolt.

I will have to make very sure
that this never occurs again.

Which of you incited this?

Who is your leader?

If I don't get
an answer immediately,

I will be forced
to k*ll all of you.

k*ll all of you.
Now speak up.

I suspect that it
is you.

I'm the leader,
thank you very much.

- Alien: You.
- No, I'm the leader.

- No, I'm the leader.
- No, it's me.

Jeff:
Heck, no, I've always
been the leader here.

I'm the leader.

- No, it's me.
- No, actually, I'm the leader.

- Man: No, I'm the leader.
- Woman: No, I'm the leader.

You humans have more
integrity than I
ever suspected.

I ought to k*ll
all of you right now.

k*ll you now.

But I will use
my own best judgment.

I believe you,

And I sentence you
to be ex*cuted immediately.

- No!
- No!

- No!
- No, no!

- No!
- No!

My judgment was correct.

- You are their leader.
You are their leader.
- Yes, I am.

But I won't be the last.

Humans will rise up
against your tyranny

And k*ll every last one
of you slimy bugs.

I do not think so, human.

You are the troublemaker.

Humans are naturally
a timid breed

And best suited
to subservience.

You are an exception.

k*ll him now.

Ready, charge!

President Demsky:
Ready, charge!

( Speaks alien language )

( Glass shatters )

( Screaming )

Doctor.

You seem to have changed
your mind since we last spoke.

Yes, you changed it.

Thank you.

Your timing was impeccable.

Now if you'll forgive me,
I think I have to lie down.

Tell everyone
to get some rest.

We go to a new sawmill
tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

That soon.

Yes, that soon.

The battle isn't over
until we've won,

Until every last alien
is dead. Get it?

Got it.

Good.

The Doctor told us that
living in Freedom Valley

Was hiding from reality,
not facing it.

And he was right.

He laid his hands on me,
and I was cured.

Yeah, he cut a b*llet
right out of my gut.

I wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for him.

And he told me if
I was ever in a canoe,

I shouldn't tip it,
and that's certainly
good advice.

When we first met,
I already knew him.

He got me to believe
that life is worth living

And worth fighting for!

- Yeah!
- God bless the Doctor!

( All chanting )
God bless the Doctor!
God bless the Doctor!

God bless the Doctor!
God bless the Doctor!

- ( Chanting continues )
- Narrator: The Doctor had
indeed led us to freedom.

And the next day,
we moved on toward
another sawmill.

And after another
desperate battle,

We freed that sawmill too,
and the next

And the next.

We went on
to liberate all the sawmills
in the Pacific Northwest,

And now we're heading
back south to free the humans
of California.

It looks like
there's no stopping us.

Soon all the humans
of earth will be free,

And we owe it
to the Doctor,

Our liberator,

Or as he has become known
over the course

Of many bloody battles
waged and won

With multitudes
of aliens k*lled,

"The Great Exterminator."

( Instrumental music playing )