Alien Private Eye (1989)

[bunniefuu]

(thunderous drumming)

(traffic whirring)

- Uh!

- All right, all right.

Where's the other half?
(dramatic music)

- Get away from me!
- Give it to us.

Or we'll k*ll you.
- Who are you?

Let go of me!

- Yo! Let her go.

Let her go now.

(fist whacking)

(fist whacking)

(both grunting)

(leg whooshes)

(fists whacking)

(knee thudding)

(fist whacking)

(foot thudding)

(fist whacking)

(g*n clicks)

(man groans)

(fist whacks)

What's your name?

- Rene.

- I'm Lemro.

What did they want?

- I don't know,
I never saw them before.

(upbeat dance music)
(Rene chuckles)

♪ I've got what you need ♪

You're strange.
♪ Yeah, yeah, baby ♪

♪ All your dreams ♪
- Me?

You're the one who's being
chased by th*gs

and doesn't know why.

♪ The one you got ♪

- (chuckles) Let's go dancing.

♪ Get me hot, too ♪

- Love to. Wait a sec
while I make a phone call.

(upbeat dance music)

♪ What you need,
let me take you deep ♪

(g*n clicks)
♪ What you need ♪

♪ Let me take, take,
take, take, take, ow ♪

Hello, Rob. How's it going, bud?

Can't make it over tonight.

I just met the most beautiful girl,

helped her out of a jam.

Now we're going dancing.

Yeah, major league yabbos.

Listen, by the end of the
night, she'll be so hot for me.

I just say so, that's all.

Later, buddy.

(upbeat dance music)

(crowd chattering)

♪ There you are forgiven
for cruel, cruel thoughts ♪

♪ Who are you to tell them
how to live their lives ♪

♪ They'll take me about their nose ♪

♪ They'll sh**t me in their veins ♪

♪ They'll praise me while I take joy ♪

♪ Rise through through
their brains, tell me ♪

♪ Do you know how good I feel dancing ♪

♪ Just tell me ♪
♪ Do you know ♪

♪ How good I feel dancing ♪

♪ Tell what do you know ♪
♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Nobody cares if you all think I'm dumb ♪

♪ Dancing ♪
♪ How can they care ♪

♪ When their brains are numb ♪
♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Don't even try ♪
♪ Dancing ♪

♪ They want to die nightly ♪

♪ Don't come around and
try to storm my fun ♪

♪ They're gonna do it dancing ♪

♪ They're gonna do, do it, do it ♪

♪ They're gonna do it no
matter what you say, hey ♪

♪ They're gonna do it dancing ♪

♪ They're gonna do, yeah, do it ♪

♪ They're gonna do it no
matter what you say, hey ♪

(upbeat dance music)
(crowd chattering)

(Rene screams)
- Oh, my God!

- What the hell?
Let's get the hell out of here!

(crowd screaming)
(fist whacking)

(knee thudding)

(foot whacks)

- We gotta get out! Hey, hey, Chico!

(fist whacking)
Oh, my God!

(suspenseful music)
(knife clattering)

(foot whacking)

(elbow thudding)

(fist whack)
- Ya!

(g*n firing)

(table shatters)

(g*n firing)

(b*llet ricocheting)

(suspenseful music)

Tell me who you are, as*h*le!

Talk!

(suspenseful music)

- Kilgore sent me.

- What does he want?

- He wants the disc.

- What disc?

- Ask the girl.

(suspenseful music)

- Mess with me again,
pal, and you're history.

(soft rock music)

I feel great.

- (Rene) How can you say that
when we've just been shot at?

- Where I come from,
this stuffs a piece of cake.

- Oh? Where's that?

- France.
(Rene scoffs)

Listen, before we do the story of my life,

don't you think it's about time for you

to come clean with me?

Who are these guys?
What do they want from you?

- I'll tell you...

but not until I trust you better.

- You're so beautiful.

(soft rock music)

- (moaning) Lemro, you're so good.

Take that stupid hat off.

(Rene gasps)
(dramatic music)

(soft rock music)

(Rene moaning)

(Rene groaning)

- That was great.

- I've never felt
anything like that before.

(soft rock music)

What are you?

- An alien.
- That's obvious.

- What, are you prejudice or something?

- No.

- Suppose I was an alien and
Jewish. How'd you like that?

- It has nothing to do with that.

- Suppose I was an alien
and black. How'd that be?

(Rene scoffs)
(wind whistling)

- I don't ever wanna see you again!

(knock on door)

- Dude. What was that all about?

- I told her I was an alien.

- Yo, dude. I told you never to do that.

- She saw my ears.

- Why don't you get those
things clipped, dude?

- Yeah, right. Then when I
go back to my own planet,

all the people there will
think I'm an as*h*le.

- You're never going back, dude.

Stay here.

- I'm going back.

- Oh, yeah, right. When?

- I don't know, but I'm going back.

(soft dramatic music)

(Lemro chuckles)

(intercom buzzes)
- There's a woman

here to see you.

- Send her in, Suzy.

Rene! I knew you'd be back.

(dramatic music)

- Call me Electra.

- What can I do for you?
- You can find

something for me.

- Have a seat.
- I prefer to stand.

(traffic whirring)

- Tell me about it.
- It's an artifact

of an ancient Egyptian civilization.

The secrets it contains are
of the utmost importance

to our understanding of the
development of Western culture.

- What does it look like?

- It's a perfect circle about this big.

It's black; jet black,
with silver inscriptions

written out on both sides.

(dramatic music)

- How did you lose it?

- It was stolen from me.

- When?

- The day before yesterday.

- Where?

- In my hotel room.
Someone obviously knew I had it.

I was bringing it to New York.

I was going to meet with the
Museum of Natural History.

These men broke into my
room and took it from me.

- What did they look like?

- They wore masks. I don't know
what their faces were like.

May I have a drink?

- White wine?
- Scotch and soda.

But one of them had a skull
and cross bone set in gold

in one of his front teeth.

- Some trees grow up twisted.

- Can you help me?

- I can.

- May I ask you a personal question?

- Go ahead.

- Do you like Earth women?

(moody music)

I've been away from home a long time.

I've been getting very lonely.

- You're very beautiful.

Your snicks are very solid.

- Thank you.

(soft dramatic music)

- How did you hear about me?

- You've got a rep.

- Here?
- Not here,

at home on Styx.

- Why did you come to Earth?

- To bring the disc back
to its rightful owners.

- How did you get a hold of it?

- Don't ask me so many questions.

- How did you find --
- Lemro, look.

That man.

He's been following me, Lemro.

I'm afraid of him.

I think he wants to k*ll me.

- Why?
- He's coming up here

to talk to you, I'm sure of it.

- Who is he?
(door closes)

- It's him! He mustn't see me!

Let me hide in the closet.

- Forget about it.
(intercom buzzes)

- Quick!
- Be my guest.

(suspenseful music)

- (Suzy) Lemro?

- What is it, Suzy?
- There's another, uh...

- I believe there's a man
there who wishes to see me.

- Well, that's right, boss.
- What's his name?

- What's your name?
- Scama.

- (Suzy) The man says
his name is Scama.

- Send him in.

(ominous music)

- Mr. Lemro, private
investigator, I presume?

- That's right.

- I am here to see you on a
matter of urgent business.

A matter of the utmost importance.

The fate of the Earth
will not be unaffected

by the outcome of the matter

about which I wish to speak to you.

Mind if I smoke?

- No, go right ahead.

- Perhaps...
(match strikes)

You are not unaware of a struggle

which is occurring now
between the lowest elements

of organized crime in this city.

- What kind of struggle?

- A struggle for control,

for control of the most deadly
kind of force known to man.

- Like what?

- Like a thermonuclear device!

(dramatic music)

- I'm intrigued.

- I am not joking, you understand?

- And how did a bunch of cheap hoods

get their hands on an A-b*mb?

- By chance.

- Tell me what it looks like.

- It's black; jet black,
in the shape of a disc.

- Let me guess, with silver inscriptions

written out on both sides?

- How did you know?
- Why is everybody

after that g*dd*mn disc?

- How dare you speak to me that way.

- Let me see your ear!
- Oh!

- Doctor. Plastic surgery.

- I will not submit to
this uncivilized behavior!

- So, you're from Styx.

- And you know more
than you're telling.

I see you've already heard of the disc.

And now, I begin to wonder

if perhaps I was in error in feeling

I might be able to trust you.

(suspenseful music)

If you will raise your hands, please.

If you don't mind, I
will search the premises.

- You didn't finish
telling me how it got here.

- It fell here.

It's not from Earth. It fell out the sky.

And it was found.
Found by the wrong people.

If you care about Earth,

if you care about the people here,

if you care about our planet, about Styx,

you will help me recover it.

- And why should I believe that?

- Because that's the truth.

(suspenseful music)

- Surprised about this?

- So, Electra, we meet again.

- Since you followed me here.

- I am sure I don't know what you mean.

- You have never thought
to check up here on Earth?

- Yeah, you will surely
agree that our rivalry

has always been to our mutual benefit.

- What's he talking about?

- Really, Mr. Lemro, this
is none of your concern.

- Thermonuclear device, Egyptian artifact.

Who the hell are you guys?

- Lemro, we need you.
- What for?

- Oh, really, Electra? You
think it's actually necessary?

- Come clean! Tell me the truth!

- (sighs) I see no need to
listen to these rude demands

any further, do you?

- No.

- Good.

So good to have met you.

(door closes)

- Find the disc, Lemro.

I'll pay you a million quiplets for it.

- A million quiplets?

That's a lot of money on Styx.

- I'll be in touch.

(suspenseful music)

(traffic whirring)

- No tricks, or we'll
blast you all to hell.

- Did you bring the cash?

- I brought it.
- Then where is it?

- Luger, show 'em the money.

There it is. Three million in cash.

Any other kind of a deal and
I wouldn't do

this kind of business with a dog like you.

- You're slime, Hanson!

- You young punks think
you own the world.

- If it wasn't for the fact
that I needed the cash flow,

I'd keep the disc and bury
you with it once and for all.

- Where is it? Where is the disc?

- I only got half of it.
- What?

- Read my lips.

- The deal is off.
- Take half the disc.

It's worth half the cash.

- Yeah, you get the
money and I get nothing.

- You get half the disc!

- Without the other half,
this thing is worthless.

How could you lose something like that?

- How do I know you
didn't steal it from me?

(suspenseful music)

- Easy, easy, easy.

- Oh, God, ease this life. Don't you fire.

- Eat lead and die!

(g*ns firing)
- Get back!

(g*ns firing)

- Buy the farm, Streak?

(g*ns firing)

- Guess again!
(g*n fires)

- Uh!

(g*ns firing)

- That was a great idea of yours, Kilgore.

(suspenseful music)

(g*n clicks)

(g*n fires)
Huh!

Uh!

(panting) I taught you
everything you know.

- You taught me too much.

Plant the dope. Leave $150,000.

(dramatic music)

(man gasps)

(engine starting)

Let the cops figure it out. Let's go.

He was gonna sell it!
- Not anymore.

The disc is worth millions.

- We're gonna buy all
the police in this city.

This is the answer.

(Steve breathes heavily)
(dog barking)

- More of it. I need more of it.

- Steve, you're my brother.

You can tell me.

You never did drugs.

How could this have happened to you?

- (breathes heavily) Me and my buddies

were in this bar night before last.

(customers chattering)

We ran into some bad dudes.

- Leave me alone! Get lost!

Uh!
- Come here.

- Come on, baby.

We're gonna show you a good time.

- Get your hands off me. Uh!

- We're gonna light your fire, baby.

- Please. Leave me alone!

- She just wants to be left alone.

- She's too tense.

- Man, guys like that
like that just make me

wanna kick a*s!
- Yeah, you and me both.

- You need a man who knows
how to make you relax.

- Get away from me.

- You're coming with us!

- That does it for me! Come on!

- All right.
- Yeah, let's...

(fists whack and thud)
(men grunting)

(table shattering)

- Your turn!
- Uh!

- Come on!

(fists thud and whack)
(man groaning)

I got a lot more for you!

(fist thuds)
- Uh!

(body slams)
- Don't go.

- No! No!

(fist whacks)

(bottle shatters)

(men grunting)

(man choking)

(dramatic music)

- Uh!

- Here you go, big boy.

- Okay, go ahead, knock it off.

(bottles clinking)

- (gasping) No, no, no!

- Come on.

- No! (gasping)

No! (gasping)

No! Stop, no!

(Steve groaning)

- Oh, my God!

Was it heroin?

- Not heroin, not cocaine. (panting)

Something awful.

Something worse.

I need it.

I need more. More!

(Steve breathes heavily)

Then after they left, I found
half of that black disc.

They must have left it by
accident after the fight.

Oh, I'm going to have to sh**t up again.

I need to. I need it, Rene.

(Steve gasping)

- Steve!

I'll help you.

I swear, I'll do something to help.

(knock on door)

- Good evening.

May I come in?

- Sure.

- What a lovely residence you have here.

This kinda space would be
very expensive at home.

- They don't give it away here, either.

Have a drink?

- Is that really...?

- Unearthly spirits,
liquor from another galaxy.

All the comforts of home.

- Thank you.

(Scama sighs)

Oh, it seems so odd to be drinking it

on such a strange planet.

(wind whistling)

I don't think I'll ever get used to

these funny looking ears they have here.

- Why'd you have the
plastic surgery, then?

- That's why I come to
speak to you, Lemro.

This is the case that could
make my career at home.

Everyone has heard of you.

Your exploits are even
more famous since you left,

but I am, as yet, not so well known,

but if I could just solve this case,

if I could recover the disc...

- What is it?

- But I already told you.

- Thermonuclear device?
Cut me some slack.

- It hurts me deeply, Mr. Lemro,

that you should doubt my words.

- Right, and Electra said it was

an ancient Egyptian artifact!

- Electra, Electra, Electra!

She is always interfering in my cases!

- Don't change the subject.

- That woman will drive me crazy.

She lies to you through her teeth,

yet you believe her instead of me.

- I don't believe either one of you!

- But you must, Mr. Lemro.

A terrible force is about to
be unleashed on your world.

And now, I must be going.

I am sorry to find you so uncooperative.

I had hoped that we'd
be able to collaborate

to our mutual benefit.

And now!

(elbow thuds)
Uh!

- Can't pull that sh*t with me!

Didn't you ever have John Huston?

(Scama groaning)

(suspenseful music)

- Oh, where am I?

(Scama groaning)

You're a very violent man.

- Unhappy childhood.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

Now, I really must be going.

I hope you'll reconsider your decision.

- Don't be so sure that I won't.

I'm sure there's some truth
to what you've told me.

- Now, may I have my g*n, please?

- Why, sure.

Don't even think about it.

- No, perhaps that would be better.

(Lemro chuckles)

(suspenseful music)

- Kilgore!
- Yes!

- (Crowd) Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,

Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,

Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,

Kilgore, Kilgore!

- The first one is for me.

What's in it?

- Saltwater.

- And the others?

- Real thing.
- Huh.

Good man.

- (Woman) Now who's gonna get it?

(crowd chattering)

- Oh! (inhales)

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

- (Woman) b*stard.

(crowd chattering)

- T-Bone!

(crowd chattering)

You were flawless yesterday.

- This one's for you.

(dramatic music)

(T-Bone gasping)

(T-Bone groaning)

- Delilah? Where's Delilah?

- Oh, yeah.
- Bring me Delilah!

(crowd chattering)

- (Man) Holy sh*t.

- Soma! Kilgore, I deserve it, too.

Give me some Soma.

- Oh, you do, do you?

- I k*lled 10.

No, 20.

No, 50 of Hanson's slimy weasels.

- 50?
- 50?

(crowd laughing)

- 50!
- 50!

- No, a hundred!

- Oh, a hundred! A hundred!

(crowd laughing)

A hundred!
- A hundred!

- I said it was a hundred!

And the first man who calls me a liar

has to answer to this.

That's right.

My bare hands.

- All right. Come over here.

Get ready.

(dramatic music)

(man gasping)

(man groaning)

(man screaming)

- Kilgore, me, me!

Give me some Soma.

- You? You pitiful wreck.

Why should I give you anything?

- Please, please, Kilgore!

- Get away from me!
- No! (sobbing)

- Delilah?

Where is she? Where's Delilah?

- (Man) There she is.

- Come here, my beauty.

(dramatic music)

- Uh!

Why don't you let me go?

- Let you go? Darlin', 'cause I love you.

- You call hate love.

- We have a love-hate
relationship, darling.

- All love-hate relationships

are hate-hate relationships.

- All right, then, I hate you!
(hand whacks)

(Delilah gasping)

(intense music)

What difference do you
think it makes to me?

(snaps fingers)
Give me some Soma!

- Oh! (gasping)

- Give me another one!

(Delilah gasping)

- (Crowd) Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,

Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,

Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,
Kilgore, Kilgore, Kilgore,

Kilgore, Kilgore!

(soft rock music)

(beer pouring)

- Dude.

Whoo.
- Rob, how you doing, buddy?

- Just raging, dude.

- What are you drinking?
- Cerveza, dude.

Breakfast of champions.
- One more.

- So what's shaking, bro?

- Man, are you ready for this?

I think I'm in love.
- No way!

With an Earth woman?
- Hey, not so loud.

- Totally. Right on, dude.

So who's your dream date?

- Same girl I told you
about over the phone.

The one I met the day before yesterday.

- The one you helped out of a jam, yeah?

- That's her. I really
think I'm in love, man.

I really think I'm in love with her.

- So lay on me her stats, dude.

What's she like?

- She's beautiful.

Sharp.

She's an interior decorator.

She wears great clothes,
she's got fabulous taste.

- Yeah.
And it's weird,

but even though her and I
are so totally different,

I really think she understands me.

- Whoa, take it slowly, bro.

The last time I saw
this chick, as I recall,

she didn't look too stoked.

Wasn't she the one I saw bailing

from your pad the other night?

- That's the thing.

I might not even ever see her again.

- Didn't she give you her number?

- (chuckles) She gave
me a lot more than that.

- Yeah.
- And she saw my ears.

- Why didn't you get those
things clipped, dude?

- If that's what it
takes to make her happy,

I might do it.

(brooding music)

(knock on door)

Rene.

(wind whistling)

I haven't been able to think of anything

but you since you left.

- Lemro, that's not why I'm here.

I've decided to trust you.

You're the only one I can turn to.

My brother's been poisoned.

He's been addicted to some kind of drug.

He's sick, Lemro.

He needs help.

Remember those th*gs who were
attacking me the day we met?

- What did they want?
- They wanted this.

(suspenseful music)

- What is it?

- I don't know.

But they'll do anything to get it.

- What are you doing with it?

- Staying alive.

My brother found it in bar after
they beat him half to death

and shot him full of poison.

(Lemro sighs)

- Here, let me see it.

(wind whistling)

(suspenseful music)

It's Krell.

- You recognize that writing?
- You bet.

- What is it?
- You know

the international "not allowed" sign?

- You mean the red circle
with the line through it?

- That's it.

- Well?

- Well, this is like the
cosmic version of that.

There are seven or
eight thousand planets

where if they catch you owning
anything marked like this,

they k*ll you.

- How'd it get to Earth?

- It fell here.

- Well, what is it? Why is it so bad?

- I don't know yet.

It's gotta be pretty serious.

My planet's equivalent of the FBI

is here looking for it
and they're not talking.

We'll have to see the other
half of the disc to find out.

- How are we gonna do that?

- Not we. I'll handle these
sons of b*tches myself.

You take care of yourself
and your brother.

- How will you find them?

- You remember the fight in the disco?

- I think so.

- Before I turned that hairball
loose, I put a bug on him.

If I can get near him again,
it'll lead me right to them.

- Thank you.

(suspenseful music)

(wind whistling)

Lemro, they're coming for me again soon.

I can feel it.

- My son, you must turn
from these evil ways.

- Bug off, father.

- Look within yourself at
the light that beckons you.

It is God's light.

The light of your eternal salvation.

God can forgive the most heinous of sins.

The most horrible crimes.

It is not too late for you to
turn from this path of evil.

But stop, stop now before it is too late.

(suspenseful music)

- No, Kilgore, not the
tooth! Not the priest!

- Arr!

(Kilgore spits)
(skin hissing)

(priest gasping)

(priest screaming)

How could you do it?

How could you do it to a priest?

Don't look at me that way.

I know you've only got
room in your mouth

for one false tooth full of poison.

I've been with you a long time, man.

How could you do that to a priest?

(suspenseful music)

(g*n fires)

(dramatic music)

(wind whistling)

- Lemro.

- What? You?

- How nice to see you again.

- What are you doing here?

Who in the hell do you think you are?

And why are you after this g*dd*mn disc?

- Forget about the disc, Lemro.

Let's talk about us.

(soft dramatic music)

I miss the touch
of a man from our world.

- You remind me of home.

How much I love it.

Electra, I'm in love with another woman.

An Earth woman.

- Where is she?

- Well, whether or not
she's in love with me

is still an open question.

- In that case...

- You promise never to
come here like this again?

- I promise.

(soft dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)
(birds chirping)

(traffic whirring)

(suspenseful music)

(g*n fires)

(dramatic music)

- Oh! Lemro!

(suspenseful music)

(Scunge breathes heavily)

- Don't try it, you as*h*le,

or I'll blow her brains
all over the floor!

(g*n fires)
(Scunge groaning)

- Do it! Do it!

(Scunge breathes heavily)

(dramatic music)

(bushes rustling)

Why didn't you do it?
- Are you kidding?

I'd have loved to, but I
want him to lead me back

to where they live.

See, he's still wearing that same jacket.

If he'd have left at home in the laundry,

I would've nailed that son...

(tires screeching)

Is that your car?
- Yeah.

- Give me your keys!
- Over there.

- I'm out of here. Meet me at my place.

Stay inside. Lock the doors and stay low.

- Be careful.

(intense music)

(tires screeching)

- He's moving pretty fast.

Got to keep him in range.

(Scunge panting)

- Mmm!

(Scunge groaning)

- Coming in today, but
it's coming in tomorrow.

- No, he couldn't get it to us tomorrow.

But we'll have to see
what we can get done.

- We got our assurance, man.

- A couple of coke dealers
face down in the river.

You'll never see them again.

- I went there. I got to her.

I almost had her, but
that guy from the disco,

he shot off my ear.

He shot off my ear!
- Oh, yeah? So what?

Get out of here!

(suspenseful music)

(knock on door)

(wind whistling)

- Any trouble?
- Not yet.

How'd it go?
- I found it.

I went and tracked him right
back to where they live.

I'm going back there tonight.

- You sure it'll be safe?

- Don't worry about me. Come on.

Let's go out.

(crickets chirping)
(traffic whirring)

- It's nice out.

- Rene, I've got something
I need to tell you

about the day we met.
- What is it?

- I'm sorry I didn't tell
you more about myself (sighs)

Before we got involved.
- Oh.

Oh?

- I'm really sorry, Rene.

- It was a shock.

You terrified me, Lemro.

- I know. I'm really sorry.

(soft rock music)

I mean, I know you
can't exactly look it up

in, like, Emily Post,
under the chapter "Aliens."

When do you tell the girl?

But you know, all the same,

after you get involved,
it's not the right time.

- Not to mention during.

- Right. Not to mention during.

- It was fun, though.

- I know. It was for me, too.

- Wait a minute, Lemro. Slow down.

I don't think I could ever
be involved with an alien.

- Just gimme some time, Rene.

That's all I ask.

- So Lemro, what brought you here?

- You mean like to Bel Air?

- No, I mean like to Earth.

- What do you mean? Earth is fun city.

- What?

- I'm having a good time.
I'm on vacation.

Seeing new places, doing new things.

- What are you a private eye for, anyway?

- Lets me meet people
and get to know them.

I meet more people and get to
know them better in a month

then I'll bet you do in an entire year.

- (chuckles) This is too much.

- Cut it out.
- Get serious here.

- Come on. Let's go hear some jazz.

(suspenseful music)

(men chattering)

(group chattering)
(Kilgore spits)

- Food! More food!

(suspenseful music)

(group chattering)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

- Man, could you believe
how good that thing tastes?

(suspenseful music)

- You.

- Oh!
(foot whacks)

(footsteps tapping)

(fist whacks)
- Uh!

(foot whacks)
- Uh!

(dramatic music)

(Lemro grunting)

(dramatic music)

- You're Kilgore.

- You're dead.

(men grunting)

Hold.

(Lemro gasping)

I don't think this is enough for you.

Well, you'll feel this.

(Lemro groaning)

Take him upstairs and lock him up.

It won't be long before he'll do anything

for another taste of Soma.

(Lemro breathes heavily)

(men grunting)

(body whooshes)

(foot whacks)
- Uh!

(fists whacking)
Uh, uh!

(fist thuds)
Ya, ya!

(foot whacks)
Uh!

(foot whacks)
Yah!

(fist thuds)
Uh, yah!

(body slams)

(intense music)

(plastic rustling)

(foot thuds)
Yah!

Yah, yah, yah!
(foot thuds and whacks)

(engine stalls and starts)

(tires screeching)

(engine revving)
(intense music)

(tires screeching)

(motorcycle buzzing)

(tires screeching)

(horn honking)

(horn honking)

(tires screeching)

(cars banging)

(engines revving)

(tires screeching)

(cars banging)
(tires screeching)

(cars banging)

(car crashing)

(motorcycle scraping)

(tires screeching)

(cars crash and explode)

(intense music)

(fire crackling)

(Lemro breathes heavily)

(Lemro groaning)

(sirens wailing)

(motorcycle buzzing)
(Lemro grunting)

(knock on door)
(wind whistling)

- Lemro!

(Lemro breathes heavily)

Are you all right?

(Lemro groaning)
(wind whistling)

- Uh, uh!

(suspenseful music)

(Lemro sighing)

(Lemro grunting)

Oh.

(wind whistling)

(Lemro sighing)

(Lemro grunting)

(grinder buzzing)

- Good morning.
I'm making us some breakfast.

(wind whistling)

How are you feeling?

- Great.

- What happened to you last night?

- How'd I get here?

- (sighs) You just came in, passed out.

Lemro, are you feeling okay?

- Yes and no.

You know that stuff they
shot your brother up with?

- Yes.
- Well I got

an armload full of it yesterday, too.

- No, Lemro! Not you, too!

- I didn't respect those guys enough.

Tell me what the stuff does.

- You mean what it did to Steven?

- Yeah.

- Do you really wanna know?

- Yeah, I really wanna know.

I have to know.

- By tonight, you'll do
anything for another hit.

By tomorrow morning, you'll be nuts.

- Nuts?
- Nuts, crazy, insane.

And if you don't sh**t up again then,

I don't know what'll happen next.

- Great. Was I wearing a jacket
when I came in last night?

- Yes, over there.

- Check this out.

(dramatic music)

- Lemro, you found it.

- Yeah, I came out with the goods.

Where's your half?
- It's right here.

- Let's see it.

(suspenseful music)

(disc clicks)
Of course.

It's part of a device that makes Soma.

- What's Soma?
- It's what me

and your brother are pumped up with.

- Well, okay, but what is it?

- It's an alien designer drug.
(dramatic music)

- I've heard of designer drugs.

That's when a scientist
looks at a molecule

of an ill*gal drug and moves an electron

from here over to here.

And it's still just as deadly as before,

only now it's legal.

- Right. You've already got
drugs like that here on Earth.

Imagine what kind of drugs they'll be able

to make here in a thousand years.

This drug was designed on my planet

with 30th century technology.

It's what you guys on
Earth are headed for.

Renegade scientists designed this to be

the most addictive drug possible.

Given human body chemistry,

the body chemistry of life forms like us.

It's been ill*gal on my
planet for 10 centuries.

- But how could anything be worse

than, say, heroin or cocaine?

- How could anything be
worse? This is worst.

First of all, doing this drug

feels almost as good as having sex.

- It's designed with
30th century technology

and it doesn't feel
better than having sex?

- Nothing feels better than having sex.

Okay.

It feels great at first, then
it leaves you alone for a day

or so, then it hurts like
hell until you do it again.

You do this drug five times,
you're hooked for life.

You do it a couple hundred times, you die.

You go cold turkey, you die.

The only cure after five times

is a 100% total blood transfusion,

and only Keith Richards can afford that.

- Lemro, are you telling me

that you and my brother are gonna die?

- How many times has he shot up?

- Twice.

- And they gave me a double dose.

So we're about even. We're okay.

We haven't shot up five times yet.

(sighs) We can still kick it.

We can still go cold turkey.

- Lemro, I don't know if my
brother has the strength.

They keep sending him packages
of the drug to taunt him.

And I don't know if he has
the strength to resist.

- We'll give him the strength.

- It's gonna hurt like hell.

- And in three days...

we'll be clean again.

(group chattering)

- Yes, yes, please!

Just one more shot!

(man gasping)

- Get ready.

- Uh, yeah. (gasping)
(dramatic music)

(man groaning)

Thank you. Thank you! (groaning)

(man screaming)

- He's dead.

- Some wimps can't handle it.

Give me some Soma.

(Kilgore breathes heavily)

Delicious.

- It didn't k*ll him. sh*t.

(group chattering)

- Look, there's Delilah.

(footsteps tapping)

- (panting) Give me some.

Give me some Soma. (gasping)

(dramatic music)

(Delilah gasping)

- She doesn't have much longer.

- She's all used up.

- Get rid of her.

How much Soma do we have left?

- About a quart.
- Quart?

We gotta get the other half of that disc.

You know how much it's worth to us?

- Tell me.

- The most addictive drug in history.

Better than heroin.
Better than cocaine.

It'll make the heroin business look puny.

The coke business bunk.

It's worth billions.

Wait here.

(hand slams)

Oh, what?!

Ah!

(papers rustling)

(Kilgore grunts)

Uh!

Oh, Hitler,

who art in Hell,

help me find this disc!

(Kilgore sighs)

Scunge!

Lemro's got the disc.

He's got all of it.

Find him and k*ll him!

- Let's do it!

(group chattering)

- Does your brother live far from here?

- Only about 15 minutes.

How do you feel?

(engine revving)

- So far, so good. A little hot.

- (Scama) You said he'd call.

- He'll call.

(crowd cheering on T.V.)
(whistle blowing)

(birds chirping)

- Hi.
- Hi, Steve.

So good to see you.

This is Lemro.

- Rene told me a lot about you.

She told me some things I
found pretty hard to believe.

- I told him about your ears.

I told him you were from somewhere else.

- Yeah, right. She told
me where you're from.

France. (laughs)

Look, pal, I don't care where you're from.

If you're a friend of
Rene's, you're okay with me.

- I'm going to the car,
I'll be right back.

- You play football, don't you?

- That's right.

- Look, that's me right now.

- I've seen you play.
You've got great hands.

- Thanks.

Not looking so great right now, though.

- When was the last time you shot up?

- Yesterday.

- That's when they shot me up.

- (sighs) I thought I was gonna die.

I had to have another hit.

- And that was your second time?

- That's right.
So you've only had one hit.

- It was a double dose. We're about even.

- You don't know what
it's like when this stuff

starts to twist itself around inside you.

You feel like you'd
rather taste it than live.

- I'm not sh**ting up again.

- (scoffs) That's easy for you to say now.

Just wait 'til tonight.

Wait 'til tomorrow morning.

- You wait!

I'm making up my mind now.

I'm not gonna quit 'til I'm clean.

- All right. Me neither.

- Whatever it takes.

- Whatever it takes.

- We're gonna have to move to a hotel.

They know where you live.

This is the place.

This is where it's going to happen.

(Steve quivering)

Stay with it, buddy.

- I can handle it if you can.

No g*dd*mn alien's gonna out-macho me.

(Steve quivering)

I can't handle it! I can't handle it!

It's driving me crazy! Oh!

No, uh, uh!
(fist pounding)

- Lemro!

(Steve groaning)
- No, stop it!

(Steve panting)

- Thanks, I needed that.

- It's still 104 degrees.

And your temperature's no better.

This is k*lling you both!

- No way.

We're going to make it.

- You've gotta stop this
before it kills you!

- Lighten up.

(birds chirping)

-Mmm.

- I feel good.

- We made it.

- We're gonna be okay.

How you feeling?
- Wonderful.

I don't know if I could
ever thank you enough, Rene.

- I'm so glad you're well gain.

- I'm going out for some air.
You want anything?

- Steve, can I ask you something?

- You bet.

- How do you like Lemro?

- (sighs) If it wasn't for him,

I don't think I'd be clean now.

I guess I'd still be
using that miserable drug.

Maybe the real question
is: how do you like him?

- The first time I met him,
I thought he was wonderful.

And then I was furious at him.

And now he's done so much for us.

Don't you think so?
- Yeah, I do.

He has.

- I mean, he got into all
of this just for my sake.

- Don't forget what he is, Rene.

- I can't.

- Okay. See you in a few.

- Where's Steve?

- Went out for some air.

- I called some friends.

They'll be here in an hour and a half.

- You feel good now?
- I feel wonderful.

- Lemro?
- Yes?

- Is your planet very beautiful?

- It's beyond anything
you've ever imagined.

- Do you miss it?

- Very much.

- Tell me what it's like.

(soft synth music)

- Silver grass, mountains 10 miles high,

five moons, 10 suns.

At night, the air is rich and sweet.

You want to drink it more than breathe it.

- Don't you have pollution like we do?

- We whipped pollution 500 years ago.

Our air is as clean as yours was

when the dinosaurs breathed it.

- Do you have oceans and ships?

- Enormous oceans.

My world is three times as big as Earth.

And our oceans are enormous.

Some of the fish that swim
in them are intelligent

and raise crops undersea
that we trade with them for.

And we have sailing ships with broad sails

the size of a football field.

- What's the name of it?
- It's called Styx.

- Lemro...

I love you.

Now we know what it is,

tell us how it got here.

- It fell here. Just like Scama told you.

After they were
outlawed 10 centuries ago,

all but one of them was destroyed.

- The last one resided in the
Museum of Planetary History

until last month.

- It was stolen,

but the robbery didn't go
as smoothly as planned.

When the thieves felt
us closing in on them,

they encased it in a rock-like substance

and launched it into space.

- It was on a trajectory
that would've returned it

to Styx in five years.

- But instead, it entered
an unchartered black hole,

which flung it into an
entirely unexpected region

of the universe.
- Your region.

- It fell to Earth here two weeks ago.

Only my discovery of
the uncharted black hole

permitted me, amongst
the thousands of agents

assigned to this case, to
trace it to its destination.

- Why didn't you tell us before?

- It is forbidden.

- Our orders were to do
nothing that might enable

anyone who found it to learn what it was

and how to use it.

- I think it's safe to
assume they figured it out.

(suspenseful music)

Man, am I glad we're outta here.

- Not outta the woods yet.

- That's right.
- Oh, what a night.

- This is incredible.

(engine revving)
(g*ns firing)

- This way!

(g*ns firing)

(g*ns firing)

(g*ns firing)

(intense music)
(g*ns firing)

- Steve, Rene, run for cover.

I'll hold 'em here.

(g*ns firing)

- Oh!

(Steve groaning)

- Everybody hold your fire!

Come here.

Now give us the disc,
or your friend gets it.

- Oh, oh!

- Don't do it, Rene!

- Do it, Rene,

or we'll blast that poor
b*stard brother of yours

from here to hell.

- No.

- Steve.

- Get your friend outta the street.

- Lemro, forget about
me! Stay where you are!

- Now, switch 'em.

(truck rumbling)

(suspenseful music)

(truck rumbling)

- Say goodbye to your girlfriend, as*h*le!

(g*n firing)

- Rene!

(trunk slams)

(engine starting)

(tires screeching)

- (Woman On Intercom) Dr. Davis,
telephone, please.

- Your friend Steve will be fine.

It's a superficial leg wound.

You can set your mind at ease.

(intense music)

(group chattering)

(door opens)

- Hey!
(g*ns firing)

- Hey, get down! Move it, move it!

(Lemro screams)
(g*ns firing)

(laser g*n firing)
- Uh!

(g*ns firing)

(b*ll*ts ricocheting)
(g*ns firing)

(laser g*n firing)

(g*ns firing)

(laser g*n firing)

(body thuds)

(g*ns firing)
(b*ll*ts ricocheting)

- I'm gonna r*pe ya and
then I'm gonna k*ll ya!

(intense music)
(g*ns firing)

- Let me k*ll her.
- No.

- Let me k*ll her.
- No.

- I'm gonna k*ll her!

- Uh!

(Scunge gasping)

(Scunge groaning)

- You k*lled Scunge!

(g*ns firing)

- You two clean up here.
Kilgore's mine.

- Back off, Lemro, or the girl gets it.

- Rene.
(dramatic music)

You're alive.

- Get out of here,
darling, run for your life!

- Better listen to her, hero.

- Oh, right.

Touch one hair on her
head and I swear to God,

I'll blow your brains out.

- Think you're so tough.

I challenge you to a fair fight!

Hand-to-hand, man-to-man,
right here, right now.

(suspenseful music)

You got the guts for it, as*h*le?

- f*ck you.

I've been waiting for a chance to do this.

(intense music)

(foot whacks)

(body thuds)

(foot whooshes and whacks)

(foot whacks)

(foot thuds and whacks)

(Lemro grunting)
(suspenseful music)

(fist whacking)
(grunting)

(both grunting)

(fist whacking)

(knee whacks)

(both grunting)

(fist whacks)

(foot thudding)

(fist whacks and thuds)
- Uh, uh, uh!

(intense music)

(fist thuds)
Uh!

(Kilgore choking and groaning)

(poison fizzing)

(Kilgore gasping)

- I didn't hit you that hard, buddy.

(dramatic music)

♪ Do you know how good I feel dancing ♪

♪ Ta-tell me ♪
♪ Do you know ♪

♪ How good I feel dancing ♪

♪ Tell me what do you know ♪
♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Nobody cares if you all think I'm dumb ♪

♪ Dancing ♪
♪ How can they care ♪

♪ When their brains are numb ♪
♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Don't even try ♪
♪ Dancing ♪

♪ They want to die nightly ♪

♪ Don't come around and
try to spoil my fun ♪

♪ Ain't gonna do it ♪

(soft dramatic music)

(upbeat dance music)

(upbeat funk music)